


The Shadow Lengthens

by The8gates



Series: The Shadow Series [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Family Bonding, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Original Character(s), Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:08:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 213,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The8gates/pseuds/The8gates
Summary: Atsuko Kamiyama, a master of Genjutsu and a former trainer for Itachi Uchiha is left to care for Sasuke after the Uchiha Massacre. She soon finds herself in over her head with raising the young boy and navigating her love life at the same time. As things progress, and frankly get much worse, she will be left with several life altering decisions.I'm writing this fic because I couldn't find anything else like it and ya know what they say, write what you want to read. Plan on sticking to canon as close as possible. I just wanted to provide Sasuke with a parental figure throughout the show and work out some kind of patchwork family in the process. Self-Indulgent 100% with lots of fluff in the beginning, angst, and some down and out trauma. Please let me know what you think!
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Original Female Character(s), Yamato | Tenzou/Original Female Character(s)
Series: The Shadow Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102148
Comments: 128
Kudos: 172





	1. An Early Meeting and a Heavy Request

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter works as a rough prologue. I’m just getting back into writing again so be gentle :,)

They had sent Kakashi Hatake to retrieve her. Early in the morning, the sun barely peeking over the horizon, there was a knock at the door and, before she had much time to wake up, she was being escorted to the office of the Third Hokage. 

As she attempted to rub her eyes to life with the palms her hands, they walked.

“So, why am I being summoned again?”

She asked through a yawn. Being up this early was never a good thing. The usually lively streets were still empty and, aside from the stray clank of pots and groans of floorboards, completely silent. The streetlights were still on, buzzing lightly and reminding her that they were in the purgatory of the day. There was a peacefulness in being up before the rest of the world had a chance to open their eyes. However, it also managed to feel like the loneliest time of day. 

“They wouldn’t give me all the details but claimed it was urgent. I just returned from a mission or I wouldn’t be up either.” 

Kakashi replied, clearly also uncomfortable by the situation. She didn’t know him well, but she did know he had a habit of being late. Showing up to meetings and training sessions sometimes hours late. For him to retrieve her immediately at the Hokage’s request? Something was definitely strange and, the more she thought about it, the more her stomach turned. 

“Well, it better be pretty damn urgent to interrupt my beauty sleep.” 

She scoffed, trying to lighten the mood and wake herself up a little. The man beside her let out a half chuckle and she smiled ahead in turn. She may not have known much about Kakashi but she had admired him from afar. He was always alone, nose in a book, walking leisurely with a single hand in his pocket. Quiet and reserved. Making him laugh, even if it was more like a release of air from his nose, was a win in her book. 

They walked the rest of the way in silence. As they got closer to their destination, the sun rose and people began to filter out into the streets. The village began to thrum with life, ever so slightly, but steadily. She found that, by the time they reached the double doors to the Hokage’s office, she was also perking up. 

Kakashi opened the door for her and she moved past him. In front of her sat the Third Hokage, Danzō Shimura, and the two elder advisors, Mitokado and Utatane. That wasn’t so strange. The part that made her nervous was that there were no other Shinobi. No Anbu like Danzō usually travelled with. No guards of any kind. Any of the calmness she had gathered during her quiet stroll with Kakashi was sapped from her in an instant. 

The Hokage was the first to speak. 

“Thank you, Kakashi. You may excuse yourself.”

With that, Kakashi gave a subtle bow and shut the door he had previously held open for her. She snapped her head back forward, looking at the council in front of her and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s this about?” 

She asked, a tinge of apprehension in her voice. She was a shinobi, trained to keep her cool in any situation, but her palms were sweating. 

“Please, have a seat.” 

This time, it was Utatane who spoke. She did as she was told, taking a seat in the chair placed in the middle of the room, crossing her legs to keep from bouncing them. After a few beats of silence and awkward tension, the sound of lips parting in preparation was overwhelmingly loud. She turned her head in the direction of the noise. 

“I suppose there is no easy way to say this. Last night, the entire Uchiha clan was wiped out.” 

Danzō stated, as if he was unphased by the words he spoke. Her eyes widened, mouth dropping open and immediately looking to the Hokage and advisors for confirmation. Lord Hokage nodded, a solemn expression on his face. The entire clan… Sasuke... Itachi… her heart was pounding in her ears and she could feel her chest rising and falling rapidly. She moved her lips to form words… anything. A question. Something. Before she could manage a sound, Lord Hokage spoke up.

“We still don’t know much, but it seems like Itachi Uchiha was responsible for the attack and has since fled the village.” 

Itachi? No. That wasn’t possible. He couldn't do something like that. No. Maybe the right phrasing is he wouldn’t do something like that. Still, her heart sank. She knew they weren’t lying to her. 

“All of them?” 

She asked, voice hoarse and mouth dry. Her eyes bounced between each person in front of her frantically. 

“Sasuke Uchiha is the sole survivor.” 

It was Danzō speaking again. Her hand came up to cover her open mouth, eyes squeezing shut in disbelief and anguish. If Sasuke truly was the only survivor… Itachi really must have done this. Why? Why would he slaughter his own clan and leave his younger brother the only survivor? It just didn’t make sense. Itachi was powerful, yes, but he was calm and wise well beyond his years. He never bragged about his abilities, even when he had every right to. He thought things through and was careful when he spoke. He wouldn’t just snap like that… She genuinely couldn’t understand what would cause him to do something like this. Except… defending the village and Sasuke. Those were his biggest motivations, clear to anyone who happened to look him in the eyes. Had the Uchiha clan done something to hurt Sasuke or the village? No… maybe she just didn’t know Itachi as well as she thought. Maybe he was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, waiting for the right moment to strike and demonstrate the extent of his power… taking out an entire clan was incredible. Maybe that was his goal all along...

She realized her thoughts were racing and she was beginning to lose her cool. There would be time for that later, in the privacy of her own home. Now, she had to focus. She was called here for a reason. She took several deep breaths before removing her hand from her face, inhaling deeply through her nose and opening her eyes with the exhale. She had to keep it together, especially in the presence of the Hokage and the village elders. When she raised her head back up, she met the eyes of each person for a brief moment.

“Then, have I been called in to track down Itachi?” 

She questioned. It was the only thing that made sense and was really the only thought she could grasp as her mind whirled with questions. She had trained Itachi in Genjutsu for several years. She knew him well and knew how to best counter his Sharingan. Surely he had already been declared a rogue ninja and they needed someone with intimate knowledge of his abilities to assist in recovering him. Her brain was working in high gear already, conceiving all of the places Itachi could have fled to and what his explanation for this would be when-

“No, that’s not why we have called you here.” 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Lord Hokage. She realized she had unfocused her eyes as she was lost in thought. She snapped her eyes up to meet his, furrowing her brow. 

“You think I’m involved?”

She questioned again, but even that sounded ridiculous. Lord Hokage shook his head and she was truly confused. 

“Then why am I here?”

This meeting wasn’t just to break the news to her. They needed something from her. If they didn’t, she would have found out like everyone else. Grapevine gossip. What exactly was going on here?

“Sasuke Uchiha is the last remaining member of the Uchiha clan. He is young and especially vulnerable. We are unsure why Itachi left him as the only survivor when he struck down even his own parents. You trained Itachi in Genjutsu for a number of years and are well integrated in that family. We have called you here to let you know that, since he has no living relatives, Sasuke will be turned over to your care.” 

Her eyes widened at the Hokage’s words. Turned over to her care? What exactly did that entail? Yes, she had trained Itachi for a number of years and she had known Sasuke since he was born but… she was never a guardian for Itachi. She was a teacher and family friend. That’s all.

“I don’t understand. Why me? What do you mean turned over to my care?”

“We selected you for several reasons. You have deep ties with their family thanks to your training of Itachi for the majority of his young life. You also have intimate knowledge of the Sharingan that most do not. We believe you can assist Sasuke in mastering his ability. Ensuring he can protect himself and, someday, rebuild his clan so the Sharingan trait doesn’t die out. Turn over to your care meaning you will become Sasuke’s caretaker and sensei from here out. This is considered an S-Rank mission that will be considered complete once Sasuke reaches Genin level.” 

Lord Hokage finished, not giving her any particular look. Her brows still furrowed, she considered this heavily. It was strange how he started by tugging her heartstrings, playing on her connection to Sasuke and Itachi, then ended by advising her it was a mission. This meant it was not optional. He was making sure his bases were covered so she couldn’t deny or argue against this… mission. It still didn’t make sense. As far as she knew, the Hokage and the council were not particularly in charge of re-homing orphans. In fact, they were typically left to fend for themselves. Like Naruto Uzumaki. He was the last remaining member of his clan and the son of the Fourth Hokage. Yet she knew he had no guardian and was left to live alone his entire life. He was even the same age as Sasuke. 

She directed her eyes back at the Third Hokage, brows still furrowed and eyes narrowed.

“And if I refuse?” 

She was testing the waters with that question. There was something they weren’t telling her. This wasn’t just about concern over Sasuke’s wellbeing. All of her nervousness and sorrow was replaced with a deep skepticism. 

“Unfortunately, that’s really not an option. You have been selected for this mission and it is one that must be fulfilled.” 

Danzō stated. A thinly veiled threat that didn’t scare her much. She turned her distrusting face to him. 

“So, even if I refuse, Sasuke will be placed with me. What if I leave the village or refuse to train him outright?” 

More than testing the waters now. That was a full threat of insubordination. It’s not that she didn’t want to take in Sasuke. He was a sweet boy and, if Itachi was any indication, would grow up to be a powerful Shinobi. She was more so fishing for information. Trying to get them in a position to answer all her questions.

“If you are saying that you intend to leave the village to avoid a mission you have been assigned, then you will not make it out the doors of this office. You will be deemed a rogue Shinobi and arrested immediately.” 

Danzō replied and she gave him a crooked grin, challenging him.

“You make the mistake of assuming that the person in front of you is nothing more than illusion. If I wished to leave the village without raising alarm, I would do so successfully.” 

“Enough!” 

Lord Hokage spoke up finally, clearly tired of the threats and animosity. She tore her eyes away from Danzō’s to focus back on the Hokage. 

“I’ve heard enough. Miss Kamiyama, this mission is of the utmost importance and, to put it simply, you cannot refuse.” 

Of course not. She wouldn’t have anyway. Maybe he was calling her bluff. With a sigh, she sat back in her chair, not realizing the exchange with Danzō had caused her to sit forward and uncross her legs. As she settled back into position, smoothing her hands down her pants, she spoke again.

“I apologize for the outburst, Lord Hokage. However, I still fail to see the logic behind this decision. On paper, yes, I would be the ideal candidate for caring for and training Sasuke. I just wonder why you and the council have suddenly started to care about the well-being of young orphans in this village.” 

It was the Hokage’s turn to sigh. 

“I’m not sure what you mean by that. We do everything we can to make sure the children in this village are safe and cared for-“

She interrupted him immediately.

“Naruto Uzumaki?” 

“Just what are you suggesting?” 

She rolled her eyes, a clear sign of insubordination and disrespect. At this point, they were essentially forcing her to raise a child. The least she could do is not give in without a fight. 

“That boy has been alone since birth. He is left to his own devices and, because of the nine tails sealed inside him, is treated like dirt by just about everyone in this village. He was not appointed a guardian or trainer to help guide him when he is obviously in desperate need of one. So, why is Sasuke a special case?” 

There was silence from the entire board. Check mate. The answer was, on paper and with the information they had presented her, Sasuke was not a special case. The defense that his Sharingan was to be protected fell apart when you compared it to a child with a demon sealed inside him being left alone his whole life. Whatever they weren’t telling her had to be detrimental to their case. As the silence started to become heavy, she spoke again.

“You are asking me to give away years of my life to raise a child who is not mine. While I care for Sasuke and want to see him succeed, I also value my own time and life. I believe I am owed compensation in the form of answers. If I don’t receive them, then I suppose you may as well label me a rogue Shinobi right along with Itachi.”

There was no malice in her voice this time. She was stating simple facts. If they didn’t provide her with the truth, she would recall the clone that sat in front of them and leave the village. Now, whether or not they called her bluff was up to them. Looking at the expressions they were sharing with one another, however, she doubted they would. Danzō being the one exception. He was stoic as ever, but his Chakra pulsed. Clearly agitated by her outright disrespect. 

As this standoff continued, the sun had rose fully. She could hear the bustle of the village. People chattering. The floors in the halls outside of the Hokage’s office started to creak as Shinobi moved through. Children laughing… her heart ached against her wishes. The thought of Itachi… murdering his entire clan and of Sasuke, alone and probably terrified at this very moment. She was downplaying her relationship with them in her conversation with the Council. She cared for both Itachi and Sasuke deeply enough to give her life for them. Itachi was a brilliant student and a thoughtful, calm, boy. He had brought Sasuke along to more than half of their training sessions. He would sit on the sidelines and watch in awe of his older brother. Even offered to be placed under a Genjutsu several times when Itachi needed to practice. Whatever Itachi did in those Genjutsu’s always left Sasuke in a fit of boyish giggles. As her training with Itachi progressed, she was invited to dinner at the family home and their mother even tried to set her up on a couple dates with the of age Uchiha men… they had become like a family to her over the years. To think they were all dead by Itachi’s hand… her chest tightened and that physical reaction caused her to snap back to reality.

Thankfully, she hadn’t ducked her head this time while she was lost in thought. She was still staring straight ahead at the Hokage when he finally spoke and broke the silence.

“Fair enough, Miss Kamiyama. If you would like to know the truth as to why we are requesting this of you, I will give you the answers you seek.” 

He said it like the words were being physically being pulled from him. The elder advisors exchanged a worried look but turned back to face her either way. She perked up, straightening her back, and nodded for him to continue. 

“However, understand this. Once we have told you the truth, if you were to ever repeat a word of this to anyone it would cause many issues for the village. Even, perhaps, some kind of uprising. If you ever speak on this to anyone, we will deny the accusations and you will be imprisoned for the remainder of your life.” 

After this warning, she nodded again. If he was trying to scare her it wasn’t working.

“Lord Hokage, I completely understand the repercussions. Rest assured, the information you provide me with today will not leave this room. I simply want to know what I’m agreeing to. That is all.” 

She tried to sound as genuine as possible. She did mean what she said. There was never any intention of repeating what they told her. She wanted to know for her own sake. If they were going to ask this of her, the least they could do is tell her the truth. Others would likely take notice as well, but if she had all the answers, a lie would be easy to craft. Something with no holes to be pried open because she would know what bases to cover specifically. It really was the best option from a logical standpoint… with the added benefit of satiating her curiosity. 

Lord Hokage nodded, seeming as satisfied with her answer as one could be in his situation.

“Very well. I shall tell you the true story.” 

_______________________________________

The silence that followed the conclusion of Lord Hokage’s story seemed to stretch on for an eternity. She could feel her pulse, hammering, in every part of her body. Her throat, burning with the effort of holding back hot tears and everything she wanted to scream at them. Itachi had been forced to make a decision because of the sins of his elders. One of his final requests before leaving the village was that she take care of and train Sasuke and that, if this didn’t happen, he would tell the entire Shinobi world about what they had done. The Uchiha Clan and the council of the Hidden Leaf had placed a child in the middle of their power struggle and because of that… 

How… disgusting.

Just when were the adults in this village going to be held responsible for any of their actions? The wars and the hatred they brought, bred into their children and passed on for generations. The cycle would never end… The Uchiha massacre was proof of that. If Sasuke were to never learn the truth, he would hate and seek vengeance against Itachi his entire life. That hatred would consume him. The quest for revenge was one she knew well. She had seen it rot many fine Shinobi from the inside out and, oftentimes, even once the vengeance had been served, it left them hollow. On the other hand, if Sasuke ever did find out the truth, he would seek vengeance against the Hidden Leaf for their manipulation of his brother. He would become exactly what they had tried to eradicate. This was the cycle of hatred. No escape. Predestined. 

The strength it was taking for her to remain silent was making her nauseous. After a few more moments of soul sucking silence, she took a deep breath. Despite the anger and sorrow she felt, her mind fell silent. She couldn’t say she was shocked by the information. This was the way of the Shinobi world. Always kill or be killed, no peace or acceptance. 

Finally, she gave a single nod of her head, making sure to speak evenly and not allowing her voice to waiver.

“Where is Sasuke?” 

Her eyes fell on Lord Hokage again, full of detachment and disdain. 

“He is still on the Uchiha clan property.” 

She gave another curt nod and stood from her chair, turning her back to exit with no other words. Lord Hokage stopped her right as she grabbed the handle to the door. 

“Again, Miss Kamiyama, you must not ever repeat a word of this to anyone. Including Sasuke. The consequences would be-“

She cut him off again, still not looking back, her voice raw from keeping her tongue in check for so long. 

“You should not concern yourself. I will take this to my grave. I would be too embarrassed to utter a single word about what occurred.” 

There were a few more beats of uncomfortable silence before she finally pushed the door open and made her way out into the hall, letting it swing shut behind her with a bang. 

As she made her way to the stairs outside the Hokage Tower, she noticed Kakashi leaning against the railing with a book in his hand. He shut it quickly, taking in her stiff posture and eyes filled with nothing short of murderous intent. He spoke cautiously,

“I was asked to escort you back home as well.” 

She shook her head, looking straight through him like he was no more than a mirage. 

“That won’t be necessary.” 

With that, her clone was recalled and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

As the Jutsu was undone, the clone's memories came flooding back. In an overload of information, she sat up straight in her bed with a gasp, barely making sense of it all. She threw the covers off and began pulling her clothes on at lightning speed. She could process everything else later, getting to Sasuke right now was priority number one. Rushing out through her bedroom window, she leaped across rooftops as quickly as possible. 

As she arrived at the Uchiha clan archway, she noticed the police tape lines and moved over them. This time, she ran towards the only place Sasuke could be. The pathways that were usually so lively with clan members were empty and desolate. The smell of iron filled her nostrils and pools of dried blood littered the streets. Her head began to swim with thoughts of the kind boy she once knew, slaughtering his kin. Of Sasuke witnessing all of this carnage. Against her will, tears began to well in her eyes. She tried desperately to blink them away but her body wouldn’t allow it, they just kept coming. 

When she finally reached Sasuke’s home, she called out for him. 

“Sasuke!” 

Despite her desperation, she opened the front door slowly, afraid of what she may find inside. Nothing in the foyer, no Sasuke and no blood. She called his name again inside the house, no response. Moving back outside to the rear of the house, her head whipped around, searching. 

Then she saw him. Standing in a doorway with his back to her, head ducked down as he stared at the floor. She approached slowly so as not to frighten him.

“Sasuke…” 

His head immediately shot up, whipping around to see who was behind him. His large, dark, eyes were spilling over with tears. His bottom lip trembled and her heart fully broke. Immediately, he broke into a sprint towards her, wiping at his eyes with small hands.

“Atsuko sensei!” 

He cried, voice cracking. She dropped to her knees immediately as he reached her. He threw his arms around her neck and she drew him, an arm around his torso and her hand on the back of his head, holding him tightly to her chest. She squeezed her own, teary, eyes shut as he sobbed against her. The sound of his small voice as he cried filled her with so much pain she could hardly stand it. Tears ran down her cheeks as she tried desperately to regain some strength for him. Burying her nose in his hair and kissing the top of his head, she drew in a shaky breath. She turned her head back up and looked at the spot where he previously stood, finally seeing what he had been staring at. Two large, overlapping, bloodstains.

As hard as she tried to hold it in, a choked sob tore its way out of her throat. She held him tighter, finally letting her resolve go and crying into his hair. 

“Oh Sasuke… I’m so sorry…” 

She whispered, voice full of sorrow. This made the boy in her arms sob harder and she cursed herself internally. Here was another adult, crying in the arms of a child. With a couple sniffles and some deep breaths, she regained her composure. Rubbing Sasuke’s back softly, she gave him all the time he needed to be vulnerable. Allowing him to sob and scream and pound her chest with tiny fists. All the while making a silent vow to never, ever, see him hurt like this again. It tore her heart into pieces, seeing him like this. He was always such a happy child. Sweet and beautiful with his big curious eyes and unfiltered smile. Damn the Third Hokage. Damn Danzō. Damn the Uchiha Clan. Damn them all to hell for hurting this child. 

They stayed this way for some time. Until Sasuke decided to pull away from her, wiping at his eyes and standing on his own two feet again. He stared down at the ground and she finally got a good look at him. His sleeve was torn and there was a cut on his upper arm. He was covered in dirt and specks of blood. Long tear stains ran down his cheeks, eyes puffy and red from crying. She reached out and wiped away some of the tears from his face with her sleeves and he finally looked up at her again. God his eyes… he’d aged over night. 

She pushed past the gut wrenching ache that realization brought and gave him a sad smile, speaking softly and trying not to shock him.

“Sasuke… you’re gonna come stay with me for a while, if that’s alright?” 

So many things had been decided for him in the past 24 hours. The least she could do was let him know he had a choice. If he didn’t want to come with her, she wouldn’t force him. Secrets of the Hidden Leaf be damned. Still, the boy nodded with a sniffle, wiping his nose with his shirt. 

“C‘mon. Let’s get some of your things and I’ll take you home to get cleaned up…” 

She stood slowly, leaning down to pick him up and hold him like before, his head buried in her neck. She walked back into the house and to his room, gathering clothes and other items and tossing them into a book bag one handed. She didn’t want to put him down. To force him to walk or look at his surroundings. He’d seen enough. Tossing the bag over her free shoulder, they left the house.

“We can come back if you want in a couple days if there’s anything… special you need.” 

He sniffled again, nodding his head against her neck in response. With that, she started the trek back to her home. Or rather, their home.


	2. A Big Change and An Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This ones a little shorter, again, setting things up and establishing relationships and such. Let me know what you think :)

The weeks that followed the Uchiha incident were not easy ones. Atsuko had managed to get Sasuke set up in the spare room in her house, most of his clothing and personal effects were put away and settled in. However, he had a difficult time adjusting. It wasn’t the least bit surprising, considering all he had witnessed and what all had been taken from him. This was a massive change and a life altering loss. 

During those first weeks, Sasuke wouldn’t speak to her at all. He would leave every morning, early, and not return until late in the evening. The first time it happened, she awoke to find his bed empty and neatly made. She remembered the immediate panic that set in and how she spent the entire day looking for him. Only to finally find him at sunset, sitting on a small dock on the Uchiha property, watching the ripples in the water with a distant expression. She also remembered the relief that washed over her as she laid eyes on him. She stayed crouched in the tree for some time, wondering if she should make herself known and bring him home or if she should let him be… she had decided to leave him there and he returned home not an hour later, going straight to his room with no indication of his return other than the soft sounds of his small steps.

At first, she figured that he would speak to her when he was ready. She busied herself day in and day out, cleaning around the house and preparing meals that he was never on time to eat. She would leave them for him, wrapped in the fridge with a note on the door, letting him know there was food and reminding him to bathe. She wanted to give him space and time to figure out exactly what he wanted to say… but after two weeks of the same behavior, she decided to be the first to speak. It was a Friday, if she recalled correctly, the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting orange light and dark shadows across the living room. She sat on the couch, trying to focus on the book she was reading but having to start over at the top of the page time and time again. When he finally came through the front door that evening, she stopped him on his way down the hall to his room. 

“Sasuke. Can you come here really quick?” 

She asked, softly. The house had been so quiet since she brought him home that speaking out loud like that felt like an intrusion. Like some fog they had both been living in had been lifted and the reality was free to set in now. He stopped in his tracks and obliged, turning back to walk to where she sat in the living room. 

He stood across the coffee table from her, staring down at his feet, still not speaking. This was the first time she had gotten a good look at him since the incident. There were little dark circles forming under his eyes. He looked so worn and exhausted. She let out a soft sigh, patting the spot next to her on the couch. Again, he did as she wished and sat next to her. She adjusted her body to turn to look at him. 

“Sasuke… I’m really not sure how to go about this. So I’m going to start talking. When you feel like responding, stop me, okay?” 

Atsuko asked, and he gave a single nod, still not looking up at her. She took this as her cue to continue. 

“I know where you've been going every day. I’m not upset, though you did give me a good scare when you got up and disappeared that first day. I understand if you need air and time to think. This is an incredibly big change as well as a horrible loss you are working through. And it’s going to take a lot of time before you feel okay again. If you ever truly will… I don’t say that to scare you. I say that to let you know that the process of… moving on or confronting grief… it’s a difficult one. But you don’t have to do it alone.” 

She willingly stopped herself as she noticed tears starting to form in his eyes. He forced them shut, wincing and trying to stop them from coming. Like he was angry at himself for crying. She reached out a tentative hand and used her thumb to wipe away a tear that managed to escape down his cheek. She spoke again, softly as she withdrew her hand from his face. 

“If you don’t want to talk, I understand. But I can tell you haven’t been sleeping. Maybe letting some of this out will help. Because I’m here. And will be here for a long time. I know I’m not the person you really want to talk to or the person you really want to comfort you. But I want to be.” 

She let that last bit hang in the air for a few beats of silence. Letting him think it over and decide what he wanted to do. After a few more moments, his face relaxed and he opened his eyes, turning his head up to look at her for the first time in two weeks. His usually wide eyes, heavy with exhaustion and a tension he probably wasn’t even aware of. She gave him a soft, encouraging, smile. Then, finally, he spoke.

“I… I can’t sleep. Nightmares.” 

His voice was raw and rough, despite being a child he sounded grizzled. Still, the relief that washed over her at hearing his voice was unmatched. She was truly afraid he would never speak again. That what he had witnessed had traumatized him to that point. She let her eyes fall shut and her smile grew a little wider. 

“Well, I wish you would’ve told me that sooner. They don’t call me the Nightmare Ninja for nothing, ya know.” 

She replied, and his brow furrowed again, unsure how to respond. 

“How about this. Tonight, I’ll go get us some ramen for dinner. Bring it back, we can eat, and I’ll make you some chamomile tea before bed. I promise you’ll be able to sleep soundly through the night.” 

She offered, reaching out again to wipe another stray tear from his cheek. His brows were furrowed again, clearly distrusting of her proposed solution. Nevertheless, he nodded and let out a soft, 

“Okay…” 

A smile lit up her face immediately. She had finally found something she could do for him. 

“Good. Go get a bath and I’ll grab the ramen. I’ll be back before you get out.” 

And with that, she was gone. 

That night, they sat in silence at the kitchen table, eating in relative peace. The tension that once lingered in the air was now a little less heavy. She watched as he seemed to come to life with each bite of the food. Clearly he hadn’t been eating much of the meals she had been leaving for him, but the plates were always clean. 

After their meal, the sun had set and the sound of crickets and buzz of streetlights filled the air. Sasuke went to settle into bed while Atusko prepared the tea. She brought it to him in bed while it was still warm and sat on the edge of his bed while he drank the entire cup. 

“Now, lie back and try to relax.” 

She encouraged him, even though he still seemed to not really trust this would work. She waited a few moments and, when it seemed like he had fallen asleep, she placed her hand on his forehead. She placed him under a temporary genjutsu, one where he was not reminded of the Uchiha or Itachi. One where he was allowed to just be. Sat under a tree in the Nara forest, a small cat in his lap to keep him company, and a book in his hands. When she was happy with the image, she removed her hand and watched as his face relaxed, no longer tense and twisted in fear of the images his mind had been forcing upon him. She smiled softly and exited the room quietly, feeling a rush of relief as she shut the door behind her.

What Sasuke wasn’t aware of was that Atsuko managed to sleep soundly for the time in weeks that night as well. 

After that night, things started to fall into place. At first, he started to tell her when he was leaving. Then he would tell her where he was going and how long he’d be gone. He started to come home on time for dinner. At first, they just sat and ate in silence. Then, he would tell her about his day, little by little. He had seen Naruto and some of the other kids playing ‘Ninja’, and boy, that was so childish in his opinion. Or, he ate lunch at Ichiraku and they had given him extra barbecue pork. Little things. And every night, she would place him under the genjutsu so he could sleep soundly.

After a couple more weeks of slowly opening up, Sasuke decided he was ready to get back to training and ready to return to the Academy. Atsuko decided to let him get back in the swing of things before hitting hard on the training but she always walked him to and picked him up at class. 

He had been back in classes for a couple weeks when, on their walk home one day, she asked him how his day had been. His typical answers were either, ‘Good.’ Or ‘Stupid.’ But today was different. He rolled his eyes in response to her question and scoffed. 

“The girls in class won’t leave me alone.” 

He stated, annoyance clear in his tone. Atsuko raised an eyebrow, looking down at where he walked next to her, his hands in his pockets. She smirked and looked back ahead as they walked down the street. 

“Oh yeah? What, are they picking on you or something?” 

She teased, knowing that was not the case. And even if it was, she would put a stop to it so fast she’d leave his head spinning. This kind of banter was typical now. Atsuko could tell Sasuke was trying to cover up all his emotions with this little tough guy exterior. He focused on his classes and thought he was leagues above his classmates. Too cool to be caught up in petty kids games or too mysterious to interact with his peers at all really. To be fair, he was all of those things. However, it was a facade. A phase, she thought. So she figured she’d let him work through it and tease him a little in the process, try to chip away at that tough exterior before it got too thick.

In response to her comment, he scoffed again, a small smile playing his lips. 

“No, they just bug the hell out of me. Always arguing over who gets to sit next to me or be my partner on projects.” 

He replied, still acting as if the thought of all the girls in his class vying for his attention irritated him to no end. Atsuko chuckled and patted the top of his head, only to have him swat it away in annoyance.

“Sounds like they like you Sasuke. Want me to come down there and embarrass you one day? Leave a big lipstick mark on your cheek or interrupt class to bring you a new pair of underwear? That’ll make em’ think differently of you.” 

She offered like it was actually a viable solution. A grin spread across her face as Sasuke chuckled to himself, she looked down in time to see him shaking his head.

“Thanks but no thanks. Besides, you showing up would just make the guys bother me. They all think you’re hot.” 

This statement really did make Atsuko bark out a full laugh, throwing her head back as they walked. Sasuke rolled his eyes in a response and she ruffled his hair again, but he didn’t push her hand away this time. 

“Well, it looks like our stunning good looks have put us both in a corner. Best if you just deal with the mild harassment for now.” 

She chuckled as she said this, sliding her hands into her pockets as well, matching his stance. They continued to walk in silence and, as they turned the corner to the road they lived on, Atsuko spotted someone in the distance, waiting outside their home. As the person came into view, her face lit up in a smile and she pointed straight ahead. 

Sasuke, confused, followed her pointing finger to see a man leaning against the wall outside their house. The man was tall, brown hair sticking out from behind his headband that worked more as a helmet more than anything. He perked up as well when he noticed Atsuko and raised a hand to point back at her, the same stupid smile on his face. Atsuko broke off into a slight jog and enveloped the man in a hug, arms around his neck and kissing his cheek. When Sasuke caught up and they pulled apart, he noticed the strange man's face was covered in a deep blush.

Atsuko began to speak, smiling at the child as he approached, uninterested as ever but still, a brow quirked in mild curiosity. Or judgement. She couldn’t tell which.

“Sasuke! This is… uh..” 

The man butted in, smiling softly as well, and rubbing the back of his neck with his left hand. 

“Yamato.” 

Atsuko hummed in agreement.

“Yes, Yamato! He was my partner for a long time. We’ve been on countless missions together. But I haven’t seen him since… oh geez…?” 

She questioned, trying to think, and again the man filled in the gap for her. 

“Since that intel mission a few months back.” 

And she nodded, snapping her fingers like he filled in the missing puzzle piece for her. 

“Yes! That one got a little hairy if I recall correctly…” 

Yamato nodded in agreement. Based on the look on his face, hairy was an understatement.

“Either way, I just thought I’d stop by and catch up. It’s nice to see you again. And it’s nice to meet you Sasuke.” 

Yamato said, out stretching a hand for the boy to shake. Sasuke looked the man up and down and gave a curt nod before moving past him, completely dismissing his outstretched hand. 

“I have homework to do.” 

He stated, before heading in the front door of the house, leaving it open behind him.

Atusko watched him go with a slight frown.

“You’ll have to forgive him. He’s still… working through a lot.” 

She apologized on Sasuke’s behalf and Yamato shrugged, letting his hand fall back to his side. 

“It’s fine. You think he’s coming along well, considering?” 

He asked, looking through the open door and down the hall the boy had disappeared down. He turned his attention back to Atsuko as he heard her sigh. 

“I… I’m still not sure. I’m new to all this, ya know? Not like I’ve ever raised a kid before. Let alone a kid who's been through what he has.” 

She stated, sounding a little exasperated. As she stood here with Yamato she realized it was the first conversation she’d had with an adult in 2 ½ months. She turned to look at him, flashing a smile. 

“C’mon… let’s get a drink and catch up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we are gonna get some background on the OC ooohhhh and some Kakashi too for a dash of fun!


	3. Concerns and Drinks with Friends

After running inside to grab her purse, Atsuko knocked on Sasuke’s bedroom door gently. She pushed the door open slightly and poked her head in, seeing him sitting at the desk she had bought for him to do his schoolwork at, he turned his head to look at her and she smiled.

“Hey, Yamato and I are going to go for a walk, to catch up a little. I should be back in a couple hours and I’ll bring back ramen for dinner, alright?” 

She asked, and Sasuke nodded, turning back to the schoolwork. This was the first time she’d be leaving him by himself at home for a bit. It wasn’t a big deal considering he spent most of his first couple weeks with her out and about on his own. Still… she felt like she was neglecting him in a strange way. 

“If you need help with any of your work set it aside and we can look at it when I get back.”

She added, and Sasuke nodded again, not looking at her this time but piping up anyway. 

“Okay, thanks.” 

She smiled, turning to leave but stopping before she fully exited and turning back around to speak to him again.

“Oh! And don’t forget we start your genjutsu training after class tomorrow. So make sure you bathe before I get back so you’re ready to get a good night's rest after dinner. And don’t open the door for anyone. And-“

Sasuke turned around to face her this time, looking more than a little annoyed. He cut her off mid sentence.

“Oookay. Don’t worry. It’s not like I’ve never been alone before. Geez.” 

He rolled his eyes for good measure and Atsuko’s face fell a little. Scolded by a child… still, he was right, she was worrying too much. She smiled, more than a little embarrassed, her hand coming up to rub the back of her neck. 

“Right. Sorry about that. I’ll see you tonight.” 

Then, finally, she turned her back and shut the door behind her softly. As she exited from the house, she gave Yamato a look of exasperation before shutting and locking the door behind her. She drug her feet as she moved to where he stood, leaned against the building directly across from the home. Her head hung low and she dropped her forehead against his chest, letting out a long sigh. When she pulled back and looked up at him, he was smirking down at her.

“What’s so funny?” 

She asked, hands flying to her hips as she straightened her posture and furrowed her brow at him. He chuckled in response, eyes falling shut while he pushed himself away from the wall he was using for support.

“Nothing. Just seems like you could use this drink more than I could.” 

He retorted as he began to walk down the street, Atsuko following close beside him. She couldn’t argue with that. The last few months had been all about Sasuke. Making sure he was safe and fed and mildly content and keeping up with his school work and… even though the logical part of her brain knew he would be fine for a couple hours, she still found herself lost in concerns as she fell silent and picked at her nails. Was she being a bad guardian by going out with friends when she should have stayed home to make dinner and be available if Sasuke needed help with his homework? What if he fell asleep studying and had a nightmare? What if he tried to get a snack from one of the high cabinets and fell and hit his head? What if he went to run his bath and the tub overflowed and he slipped and broke his arm? What if Itachi came back to-

Yamato gave her a gentle nudge, pulling her from her thoughts. She snapped her head up, not realizing she had been staring at the ground. He looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, a silent ‘Hey, you good?’. She looked at her hands, realizing she had been picking at them so intensely she had drawn blood. She shook her hands quickly, as if dispelling the bad habit in a violent shake, and stuffed them into her pockets.

“I’m sorry. I guess… it’s really silly, but I guess I just worry about leaving Sasuke at home by himself. Makes me feel like I’m doing a shitty job. Even though he ran around the entire village for two weeks by himself when I first took him in… I just… ugh. I have no idea what I’m doing Yamato.” 

She finally admitted, sounding defeated as she stared straight ahead again. There were a few beats of silence where she took in her surroundings. The streets were full of people, busying themselves and moving from shop to shop. Groups of friends walking and talking just like they were. People who all had their own lives and problems… it made her feel a little less alone.

Yamato finally spoke up after it seemed she had calmed down a little. After spending so much time with her he realized that her own mind was her biggest threat. If she was left to overthink, her brain would run itself ragged and she became an anxious mess. He knew the large crowds and bustle of the village, strangely, eased her rushing mind. 

“If it’s any consolation, I’m sure Sasuke will survive a couple hours at home by himself. And, while I’m still a little foggy on the details, the fact that you worry about him means you do care and, if you care that much, I’m sure you’re doing your best.” 

He reassured her, voice even and calm as ever. She let out a strong exhale from her nose and nodded a little. That did make her feel a little better. Besides, in recent months, everything had been about Sasuke. She needed some time to unwind. To see a comrade and friend and have a few drinks. Come to think of it… she had spent so long worrying over the boy she hadn’t even fully processed everything she had been through. The loss of Itachi and her found family. The news that it had all been plotted. The Uchiha coup d'etat. Her threat to become a rogue Shinobi and desert the village. A threat that she made directly to Lord Hokage. It was overwhelming and she found her head swimming again. She shook her head, trying to dispel the thoughts and let out another sigh. Couldn’t dwell on that now. That was something she had to work through on her own. 

“Thank you, Yamato… that does ease my mind some.” 

She responded with a soft smile, before poking his side with a pointed finger, causing him to jerk a little and look down at her, confused.

“And what kind of name is ‘Yamato’ anyway?”

She teased and he chuckled, looking back ahead as he defended himself.

“Hey, I like it. I didn’t pick it, but I like it.” 

—————————————————————

When they arrived at the bar, they picked a booth in the back, settling in across from each other and requesting a bottle of sake. After just a few sips, Atsuko found herself relaxing a little. She sat back in her seat, arm coming up to rest on the back of it as she got comfortable. 

“So, how was your last mission?” 

She asked the man across from her as he sipped his own drink. He shrugged, setting the cup down and leaning back in his seat as well.

“Uneventful. Things seem to go too smoothly when you’re not around.” 

He replied with a coy smile, causing Atsuko to laugh and drop her head back. She pulled it back up to look at him, taking another sip.

“Sounds mind-numbingly boring. Don’t think I didn’t see that look you gave Sasuke earlier. About our intel mission several months back. That one went just as planned.” 

Then it was Yamato’s turn to laugh. He shook his head as he swallowed another drink, humming as he did so.

“No, it most certainly did not. I’m not sure what mission you were on, but that simple intel mission we went on almost got us killed.” 

He retorted and she wrinkled her forehead in concentration. Had it really been that bad? 

————————————————————

Atsuko and Yamato were crouched on a tree branch together. Sat alongside a road, the tree was far enough back from the forest’s edge that they wouldn’t be seen by their targets, but close enough to listen for the information they were after. 

They had been sent to monitor a couple of the Anbu Black Ops that were assigned to escort the Feudal Lord to the Hidden Leaf village in the following weeks for an upcoming festival. They had it on good authority that these two were spies, intent on sneaking into the village and gathering intel on their Anbu Corps. The plan was to watch for damning evidence, report back to the Hokage, and allow the Feudal Lords council to oust the intruders. That was the plan. 

As Atsuko and Yamato sat in the tree, their targets walked right past them, down the dirt road. She nudged her partner, who had all but fallen asleep in his post. He perked up and they both listened intently, moving quietly from branch to branch, keeping up with their targets as they moved.

“Okay so, once the festival starts to kick off, we’ll separate ourselves from the group, say we’re doing security checks or some shit. Only issue is the Leaf’ll have their own Anbu and Jonin there, keeping watch. I have a contact up there who gave me some info on some specific ones we should watch out for.” 

One of the targets, a man with a cat Anbu mask and dark, short hair, spoke. He handed some papers to his partner. The other man had longer, blonde, hair and donned an eagle Anbu mask. As the man in the eagle mask thumbed through the papers, the man in the cat mask spoke again.

“That first one is Kakashi Hatake. The Copy Ninja. He wields a Sharingan and can, supposedly, copy any ninjutsu.” 

The man in the eagle mask nodded, speaking as he flipped to the next page.

“Yes, everyone is aware of him. Who else?” 

The man in the cat mask spoke again.

“The next three are Asuma Sarotobi, Kurenai Yuhi, and Might Gai. Each high level Shinobi. Masters of wind style and weapons, genjutsu, and taijutsu respectively.”

It was getting more difficult for Atsuko to maintain her composure as she listened. They already knew too much about the high level Jonin in the village. They had all the evidence they needed to jump out from cover and take these guys out now. As if sensing her tension, Yamato placed a hand on her arm, shaking his head and motioning for her to keep listening and remain patient. She complied, but not happily. 

As they continued to move, the men continued to converse, with the man in the cat mask providing more information. 

“The last one I was able to get intel on is Atusko Kamiyama.” 

When the man in the eagle mask flicked to the last page and saw the picture, he whistled softly before speaking. 

“Between her and that Yuhi woman, the leaf sure knows how to make some beautiful Kunoichi.” 

The man in the cat mask smacked the back of his partners head, speaking up again in a hushed but urgent tone.

“Hey, pay attention. Do all you’re thinking with your dick we’ll end up in hot water quick. That one I didn’t get as much information on. From what I gathered, she’s also heavily skilled in genjutsu. They call her the ‘Nightmare Ninja’, though I couldn’t find out why. I really don’t want to get close enough to find out why, either.” 

The man in the eagle mask rubbed the back of his head where he had been struck and nodded again. 

“Alright, so if we avoid these 5 we’ll be golden, right?” 

This earned him another smack to the back of the head from Cat Mask. 

“Idiot. Those are just the 5 I was able to get information on. There’s no telling what else we’ll run into. Just make sure you stay quiet and quick. Avoid as many Shinobi as possible. No need picking a fight with someone we don’t have any intel on. And especially no need in getting caught up in a fight with the ones we DO have intel on. We both have maps of the layout of the village. The moment we have the chance to break away, we head for the Hokage Tower. I have a map of it, so as long as we meet up there, we can get to the documents room no problem. Then we high tail it out, got it?”

Eagle Mask nodded yet again, rubbing at his head yet again. 

“Sure thing, boss.” 

With that, Atsuko and Yamato had enough information to report back to Lord Hokage. Hearing they didn’t know as much about her as they would’ve liked gave her a sense of pride and she considered it a small victory on this less than fulfilling mission. She turned to make sure Yamato had heard everything she had, and when their eyes met, he nodded in the affirmative. They turned to leave and as they pushed off the branch they were perched on, a loud crack filled the air and it gave way beneath their weight.

As they plummeted to the earth below, Atsuko heard Cat Mask’s voice break through the trees, full of malice. 

“Hey, what the hell was that?” 

Shit. She and Yamato both rotated to land on their feet, crouched next to one another on the forest floor. Maybe they could still get through this without being found out. Just as Atsuko was turning to retreat further into the forest, she caught sight of a flash of white and then both masked men were standing about twenty feet in front of her and Yamato. 

They both slowly rose to their full height, assessing the situation as Cat Mask spoke.

“Who the fuck are-“

And he stopped as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the forest. Eagle Mask pulled out his papers from before, flipping through them wildly, and holding up a page, comparing it to Atsuko’s face.

“Boss, I think that’s the Nightmare Ninja.” 

Eagle Mask said, a twinge of panic in his voice. Both men now looked even more wary than before. They exchanged a look, nodded at one another, and took off in a dead sprint towards Atsuko and Yamato.

It seemed Cat Mask was heading for Atsuko while Eagle Mask took off towards Yamato. No words needed to be exchanged between the two Jonin. If the enemy was willingly splitting themselves up for two separate one on one fights, it just made their jobs easier. 

Atsuko dodged to the left, away from Yamato’s side and out of the way of Cat Mask’s incoming attack. As she slid, her hands weaved signs at lightning speed, her right one coming away glowing with a dark black aura. In the distance, she heard Yamato shout, 

“Wood style, smothering binding jutsu!” 

Just as her attacker lunged at her, swinging a kunai. She jumped back, Cat Mask slicing through the air in front of her. She slid backwards on her feet, putting some distance between her and the man. There was a split second of decision for either party and they both charged at the same time. This time, Atsuko’s attacker swung his kunai in the opposite direction and she ducked under his arm. His swing was so wide he spun slightly with his arm, leaving his back open. Atsuko’s arm flew up, grabbing the back of the man’s head with her right hand, still enveloped in the black aura.

“Sleep paralysis, nightmare jutsu.” 

She repeated to no one but herself as the man in her grasp had been trapped in her genjutsu as soon as her palm came in contact with his skull. His eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped forward with a scream, hands coming up to claw at his eyes. Atsuko stood behind him and sighed, hitting him in the back of his head with the blunt end of her kunai to render him unconscious. 

She looked across the wooded area to see Yamato had somehow lost the upper hand in his fight. He was flat on his back, Eagle Mask over him with their kunai pressed together, struggling for dominance. She quickly stuck a paper bomb to Cat Mask’s back, just in case he happened to wake up. She’d rather he died here than be able to take any information back to his superiors. Afterwards, she broke off in a dead sprint towards Yamato, weaving signs as she did. Once she was close enough, she opened her mouth and let out a shrill scream. 

The vibrations from the sound wave rattled the trees and, once it reached Eagle Mask, he froze solid, eyes going wide in fear behind his mask. Every muscle in his body went visibly rigid, quite literally stiff as a board. Yamato was able to push the man off of him and onto the ground below as he scrambled to his feet. Atsuko closed her mouth, but didn’t release the jutsu until Yamato was able to bind the man using his wood style. Once she released the jutsu, the man fell limp in his binds.

Yamato looked over at his partner and gave her a nod.

“Thanks.” 

Was all he said and she nodded back. Of course. As if it were even necessary to thank her. 

She went back to where she left Cat Mask, peeling the paper bomb from the back of his shirt and diffusing it. She tossed him over her shoulder and brought him to Yamato for binding as well. 

For a moment, they both stood and caught their breath in silence. Atsuko turned and punched Yamato in the arm, causing him to wince and reel back.

“Hey! What the hell was that for?”

He questioned, a look of dismay on his face as he brought his opposite hand up to soothe the spot. 

“For scaring me like that. And for breaking the branch.” 

She replied, looking back down at their bounty, a smile pulling at her lips. Yamato let out a sound of disbelief before yelling at the side of her head, surely pulling one of those terrifying faces. 

“Breaking the branch? Have you lost your mind?”

While he went on she couldn’t help but laugh.

—————————————————————-

As they shared the memory, now a little tipsy from their drinks, Atsuko laughed again with her head thrown back. She brought it back up to look at Yamato, pointing an accusing finger.

“Hey! That one was totally not my fault. And we didn’t almost get killed. You did!” 

Yamato rolled his eyes, wearing a look of irritation and astonishment.

“I still can’t believe you blamed me for the branch breaking. That was a freak accident! It could’ve happened to anyone.”

This made Atsuko laugh even harder, bending over in her seat and gripping her stomach. After a few seconds of this, she reeled it in to a chuckle and looked back up at him. 

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Was all she said. His face switched from one of annoyance to wide eyed and stunned, a blush creeping across his cheeks. She beamed at him for a moment more, thinking he was cute when he was embarrassed too as she sat back up in her seat and broke the silence.

“Still, it was kinda your fault.”

Offering no other explanation. The blush on his cheeks didn’t fade, but his face fell again. Before he could start back up on his lecture, he looked over her shoulder and gave a wave.

“Kakashi!”

He called out and Atsuko turned in her seat to get a look at the Copy Ninja as he walked into the bar, a single hand in his pocket and the other thrown up in a slight wave. He approached their table and Yamato scooted over to welcome him to his side of the booth. 

“C’mon, sit with us, have a drink.” 

Surprisingly, Kakashi gave a couple glances around the room and settled into the booth next to Yamato as he responded simply.

“Sure.” 

Atsuko had fallen quiet from her chuckling, and was now watching the man that sat opposite from her. She hadn’t seen him since the morning he escorted her to Hokage Tower. He gave her a close eyed smile and she returned it. She still didn’t know much more about him than she did during their first official meeting that morning. Now that he was sitting across from her, she was able to get a good look at him. Lean and tall, thick grey hair, and, despite the mask covering most of his face, she could tell he was quite handsome. Before she had a chance to speak, Yamato did it for her. 

“Kakashi, this is my long time comrade, Atsuko Kamiyama. Atsuko, I’m sure you know Kakashi.” 

Atsuko nodded at Kakashi, and he did so in return.

“Yes, we met once before. A few months ago.” 

He responded. Kakashi remembering who she was shouldn’t have made her blush the way it did. Maybe it was just the drinks but suddenly, she was rendered a little tongue tied and speechless. It was strange how he seemed to demand her full attention while he was just sitting there. She felt her body unconsciously being pulled toward him. If the table wasn’t in the way she would definitely have invaded his personal space, maybe put a hand on his arm, bat her eyes a little. God, she was just imagining flirting with the man and she could feel the blush on her face growing. 

She was not new to the concept of flirting or hooking up… rather, she was a tad promiscuous. She’d slept with quite a few of her fellow Jonin over the years. Kotetsu, Izumo, Genma, hell she’d even had a fling with Asuma at one point when they were young. Those were just the ones she remembered. There were other one night stands and dates… but something about Kakashi didn’t feel like a typical conquest. Normally, she was the one being pursued and also the one in control. But Kakashi… he made her want to submit to him. Just his presence was domineering. 

Atsuko didn’t realize she’d been staring at him until he cleared his throat and spoke up again, eyes filtering between her and Yamato.

“I hope I’m not interrupting a date?” 

The question made Yamato blush again, swallowing a visible lump in his throat. Atsuko realized he was speaking about her and Yamato and she immediately shook her head, not even giving the other man a glance she finally spoke up. 

“Oh no! We’re just friends. Finally getting to catch up after… well, for the first time in a while.” 

Kakashi nodded at this. The tension at the table had grown a little thick and Atsuko noticed that Yamato was looking a little like a kicked puppy. Oh… maybe she shouldn’t have been so eager to let Kakashi know this wasn’t a date. But it wasn’t. Was it? She cursed herself for being so off her game. With a sigh, she finished the rest of her drink in a quick swallow, refilling her cup immediately after.

“Sorry for leaving you hanging that morning. I know you were supposed to see I got back home, but I was in a hurry. Hope I didn’t get you into any trouble.”

Atsuko apologized, trying desperately to get some kind of conversation going. She looked at Kakashi again as he smiled at her from beneath her mask, shaking his head softly.

“Not at all. I was grateful to be able to go home and get some rest, actually.” 

Atsuko chuckled at that, sipping her drink before she replied.

“Well, at least one of us did.” 

Yamato finally spoke up from his spot between Kakashi and the wall. 

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about all of that. If you don’t want to talk about it now, that’s fine. We got carried away talking about that last mission but really you’ve been through a pretty life changing event.” 

He said, taking another sip of his drink. It looked like he had calmed down but, really, the statement in itself was a subtle reminder of their history. That he cared about her feelings and wanted her to share them. Something Kakashi, in all his glory, couldn’t do. 

The intentions flew over Atsuko’s head and she responded after a short sigh. 

“No, we can talk about it. But there isn’t much to say about how it happened. Lord Hokage advised that it was an S-Rank mission. Raise and train Sasuke Uchiha, considered complete once he reaches Genin level.”

Kakashi and Yamato both gave a slow nod. The grey haired ninja sat back in his seat, crossing his arms. While Yamato did the opposite, sitting forward with his elbows on the table. Atsuko decided to continue. 

“They said I was selected because of my ties to their family. Training Itachi and such. So, until this mission is considered complete, I’m stuck playing single mother to a child who is not mine. No other missions. Just training and cooking.” 

She finished with another sigh, dropping her head back against the seat, bringing her thumb and forefinger up to rub the bridge of her nose. 

“That’s not fair, though. I do love the boy. I want to do right by him and help him work through all of this. It’s just all so confusing and frustrating. I haven’t even had a chance to consider my own feelings on the situation. It’s all been about Sasuke since I picked him.”

This time, she really was done. Not sure what the point was in airing these feelings other than just getting them out. After a few moments of consideration on both sides, Kakashi was the first one to speak. 

“It sounds like you’re doing a good job already. If you are to be Sasuke’s parental figure, it’s your job to put him first. That’s not to say you don’t deserve some time to process everything… but he’s a child. Giving him the tools you already have to help him cope is noble.” 

Atsuko looked at Kakashi like he’d grown a second head. That was… really encouraging and sound advice. Just as Yamato had said earlier, her concern for Sasuke and willingness to put him first was a sign that she was doing her best. The tension melted from her shoulders and she let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. 

Yamato took a second to process her reaction to the words before nodding in agreement with his friend. 

“Yeah, and it’s only been a few months. You’re not going to have all the answers yet.” 

This brought a smile from her and a dry chuckle. 

“You know I hate not knowing things. I feel like I’m groping around in the dark, looking for a light switch. In a room full of booby traps.” 

Yamato returned her chuckle, taking a sip from his drink. That was her fatal flaw. She couldn’t handle being in the dark on anything and it got her into more trouble than she cared to admit. Like carrying the weight of the truth about the Uchiha Massacre without being able to share it with anyone. 

Still, Yamato and Kakashi were both right. She considered their words heavily as she took another sip from her cup. This certainly was a difficult situation but if she did everything she wished someone had done for her growing up, maybe Sasuke would turn out okay. Put him first. Let him know the things he felt were valid. Pass on some hard lessons she had to learn on her own. Just be there for him. It was going to be a rough few years but, as was the way of the Shinobi world, with her friends encouragement it didn’t seem so daunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little tension for y’all! I’m struggling with balancing the OCs personal life and home life? I guess that’s like real life though, right? Thank you all for your wonderful comments and suggestions! It means so much <3


	4. A Familiar Presence and an Unforeseen Outcome

Atsuko, Yamato and Kakashi sat for a couple hours in their booth. Drinking and sharing stories about one another. Kakashi and Yamato went further back than Atsuko had realized. She knew that Yamato worked under Kakashi in the Anbu but she didn’t know they had been close for years, since they were children even. They talked about some of the lighter missions they had completed together. Atsuko also knew that Anbu work wasn’t for the faint of heart. If they had worked together doing those missions, there’s no telling what all they’d seen and done. 

While they reminisced and drank, Atsuko listened intently. She realized maybe she didn’t know Yamato as well as she thought. They had been on quite a number of missions together and spent even more time together outside of those missions… but his Anbu work meant there was always a part of him she never saw or knew. The thought, surprisingly, made her ache a little. She found she wanted to know more about him. About his past. For the first time in their friendship, she was actually a little jealous. Of Kakashi no less. It was strange, considering she never really thought of him in a romantic light. A few tugs at her heartstrings when they were drinking or when she saw him leave a party with another woman. But not like this. She wanted to know him better on an intimate level. It wasn’t about sex or possession… maybe she had stronger feelings for him than she thought.

While she was lost in thought, her chin resting in her hands with a lazy smile on her face, Kakashi relentlessly teased Yamato, making him stutter out his defenses and a blush creep across his face. She was pulled from her mind and into the conversation after the two men had had enough to drink that their inhibitions began to falter ever so slightly. Apparently, they had been on an escort mission together back in their youth and the person they were escorting was some sort of noble princess. The mission had taken several days to complete and, during the journey, the woman had propositioned them both on different nights. Yamato first, then the following night, Kakashi. They were bickering back and forth about who was the ‘winner’ in this situation.

“Well, she picked me first.” 

Yamato stated, pointing a finger at Kakashi’s face, though the silver haired man wasn’t looking at him. With his eye closed and arms crossed, he replied.

“Yeah, then she came to me the second night because you couldn’t get the job done the night before.” 

This left Yamato sputtering again and Atsuko laughed, deciding it was time to butt in. 

“Ladies, ladies. You’re both very pretty and I’m sure you’ll make fine wives someday. Let’s drop it.” 

She teased, and that comment only made her the target of Yamato’s stuttering. He turned his finger to point at her and sputtered out. 

“Yeah, well, who would you pick?” 

This seemed to get Kakashi’s attention, opening his visible eye and feigning mild disinterest as he looked down at where Atsuko sat. Her face had turned from one of confidence to a look of astonishment, mouth parted slightly and eyes wide. Her cheeks flushed red and she realized the silence that followed Yamato’s question was stretching on for too long.

It was her turn to stutter now. 

“I- well… that’s not really a fair question because…”

Kakashi butted in, deciding he didn’t care for seeing her flushed and stumbling over her words like this. 

“Let’s just agree to disagre-“

But before he could finish, Atsuko outstretched a hand, motioning for him to stop. She shook her head and regained her composure. 

“No. No, it’s okay! That’s really not a fair question Yamato, considering I have so much history with you and I hardly know Kakashi. However, I meant what I said earlier. You’re both attractive. If I were in that princesses position and knew you both equally, I would probably do the same thing she did. I don’t think it was about who was better, it was just about bedding both of you. To me, the real winner was the princess.” 

She finished with a smug smile, crossing her arms a little awkwardly over her heavy chest. She took in their expressions as they processed what she said. Yamato seemed embarrassed but still, a goofy smile pulled at his lips. Kakashi on the other hand… this was the first time she’d seen an actual reaction out of the man. His visible eye was wide and he appeared more tense than before. She chuckled and stood with a shrug, stretching her arms and shoulders above her head as she did so.

“Now, I promised Sasuke I would bring home ramen for dinner so I need to get going. Either of you want to walk with me?” 

Both men seemed to shake their stunned demeanor and stood after her, Yamato shook his head as he answered.

“I can’t tonight. I’ve got an early start tomorrow and need to go get some things together.”

She nodded in understanding and turned to look at Kakashi. Standing across from him again she remembered how much taller he was. About the same height as Yamato but when he looked down at her, she felt tiny. Surprisingly, he shrugged.

“I can walk with you.” 

She didn’t expect that from him, but she’d gotten more used to his presence so the thought of walking alone with Kakashi didn’t make her heart flutter like it would have a couple hours ago. She headed for the exit of the bar, Kakashi in tow. Turning around and continuing to walk backwards as she waved at her friend. 

“Goodnight, Yamato! Come see me when you’re free again.” 

Once they stepped out onto the street and the cool night air hit her, Atsuko shivered. It was quiet compared to the bustling bar. Only a few people littered the streets and they all moved in silence. She looked up at Kakashi and nodded for him to follow her as they headed in the direction of the ramen stand.

“Sure you didn’t have too much to drink? I don’t need to carry you?”

She teased, causing Kakashi to chuckle lightly as he responded with a muffled,

“No. I’m fine thank you.” 

For a while after that, they walked in silence. It was comfortable, she noticed. Like that morning he escorted her to the Hokage’s office. She enjoyed his energy and didn’t feel like she needed to fill the silence. After about 10 minutes of this, however, Kakashi was the first to speak.

“I didn’t realize you had trained Itachi.” 

She stiffened a little, returning her hands to her pockets as the content smile she had been wearing physically melted into a frown. Still a sore subject, clearly and she knew Kakashi would have no choice but to take notice of her change in body language. Nevertheless, she responded. 

“Yes... for some years when he was young. Genjutsu, mostly.”

She was picking at her fingernails again, this time concealed in her pockets. She couldn’t take any credit for the absolute powerhouse the boy had become. His natural talent and strong bloodline were his greatest teachers. She had been hired by his parents due to the unique abilities she possessed. Her control of genjutsu was mastery level without the added benefit of the Sharingan. She could manipulate the mind directly using her chakra as long as physical contact was made. Her proficiency in targeting the five senses was another deal entirely. She could place people under genjutsu using any of them. Sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste. All she needed was to manipulate one to get in, and her chakra control made that easy. 

Lord Hokage had spoken to her once about joining the Anbu. He said her talents were ideal for assassinations. Atsuko had, politely, declined at the time. She was content with her regular Shinobi work and actually preferred teaching over all. Now… she often wondered how her life would have been different had she accepted the offer.

She spoke again after the long silence. 

“He was incredibly talented. I suppose… still is. I can’t take any credit for his prowess. I only helped guide him in the direction of his natural abilities.” 

Immediately, Atsuko felt the strange look Kakashi gave her and realized her error. She shouldn’t have openly bragged about the boy who had just murdered his entire clan. No one else knew why he had done it. No one else understood. To the average person, he was a mass murderer of his own people who had abused his power for evil. She panicked as she tried to think of a way to salvage this conversation, but Kakashi spoke before she could. 

“He is incredibly gifted. I worked with him for some time in the Anbu. As recently as about six months ago, actually.” 

He stated, opting not to challenge her words. He seemed to understand her feelings for the boy. 

Atsuko hummed thoughtfully, thankful for his allowance of her praise. Her hands stopped fidgeting in her pockets and she responded in kind.

“Yes. I didn’t see him much after he joined the Anbu. Only around the village and, occasionally, I could catch him for dinner or lunch. Just to see what he’d been up to. Though he couldn’t tell me much.” 

Again, her heart lurched in her chest. The boy she knew, holding an infant Sasuke to his chest and cooing to calm his cries with the skill of a parent. Then, the young man she’d grown distant from, murdering his own to save the village from a civil war. She realized that she would need time to mourn before she was fully comfortable discussing him. To mourn the loss of the sweet boy who had died a long time ago. 

That silence creeped back up. The one that wasn’t uncomfortable, just was. She was grateful for the time to think. Even in the comfort of her own room, she found the act overwhelming. Trapped in her mind, she would typically only go as far as going over the facts of her situation, then she put a lid on it and moved on. It made her too anxious. Made her hands tremble and breath ragged. Hot tears would rise and, quickly, she would slam her eyes shut. Counting back from 10, then reopening them to her present. On to the next thing. Preparing for a mission, cleaning and sharpening her shuriken and kunai, heading to the training grounds… then, here recently, packing Sasuke’s lunch for the next day, running to the market, getting up to walk him to class. It’s not as if she didn’t have the time to think deeply. She would just prefer to be doing literally anything else.

Despite all of that… walking with Kakashi in the early hours of the night, as the streetlights buzzed and the sound of mild, quiet, chatter filtered through the windows of restaurants… she felt like she could explore those thoughts. She knew what they called him. Friend-killer Kakashi. Even ten years after the incident, those wary stares followed him. She noticed it as they sat in the bar. People would walk past and look down, confused and mildly frightened. Even if someone had never heard of his past, they certainly knew about his Anbu escapades. He was cold, relentless, and harsh in his judgement of the enemy. Sentencing them to death more often than not. He was the man who wielded a Sharingan with no Uchiha blood. The man who knew one-thousand jutsu. The man with the lightning blade and the cold, calculated, stare of a killer. Yet… she had never felt as calm as she did in his presence. 

The darkness in his eyes was the first thing she had noticed when he sat down across from her tonight. That’s normally as far as people would go. They assumed the eyes were the window to the soul and whatever they saw there was the truth. Sure, it was a good start. But she knew better. That gaze of his didn’t frighten her in the slightest. The truly important part of reading someone was the energy they emitted. With Kakashi… sadness rolled off of him in waves. A deep sorrow that he hid behind that apathetic, judging, stare. Again, she considered how strange it was that she found comfort in sadness… possibly because it was relatable. Shinobi life was not an easy one by any means. They had all lost comrades and seen horrible things in defense of their home. However, maybe she found it comforting because it meant he was human. Sadness at loss only came about when someone truly cared. That had to be it. She could tell, in his heart of hearts, he cared so deeply that the loss of his comrades 10 years ago still weighed on him heavily. 

While he allowed her, and she assumed he would continue to do so, she thought about her current situation and a little about what had put her here. What Sasuke witnessed had to be weighing on him just as heavily as the sorrow of the grown man next to her. He was a child, going through unbearable grief and anger and seething with contempt. Itachi had entrusted him to her and she wanted to make damn sure she didn’t let him down. Still, that determination felt uneasy in its foundation. Could she truly want to uphold Itachi’s standards after what he had done? Civil unrest or not… it was still wrong in its essence. No. Cast it aside. What mattered was Sasuke. She wanted to do right by him for HIS sake. No one else’s. He deserved that much. She would make sure he didn’t live in Itachi’s massive shadow. He would receive his own care and training, seperate from his brother. Now, the question was, how? 

As she mulled over her next moves in her head, she looked straight ahead, not focusing her eyes on any particular thing. All the lights from shop signs and bright stars blurred into explosions of soft color, leaking into one another. Occasionally, a soft breeze would blow a leaf across their path and she would stare intently at it until it vanished to the wayside. Because she was so lost in thought, she wasn’t really paying attention to the pothole directly in front of her until it was too late. Her foot sank into the spot and the abrupt stop caused her to tumble forward. She wasn’t able to pull her hands from her pockets quick enough and, just as she resigned to her fate of eating shit, she fell against a strong chest with a soft thud, warm arms wrapping around her. 

Atsuko didn’t realize she had squeezed her eyes shut to brace for the impact until they flew open and all she could see was dark green and some clasps. She tilted her head up, already knowing who would be looking down at her. Kakashi gave a gentle smile, eyes closed, and carefully readjusted her to stand on her own two feet again. Despite not landing in the dirt, Atsuko nervously dusted herself off as she stared at her feet. A hand coming up to rub the back of her neck as she finally turned up again to look at the man who had saved her from total embarrassment. 

“Heh. Sorry about that… guess I was in another world.” 

She apologized, to which Kakashi shrugged. 

“Not a problem. But Shinobi shouldn’t lose themselves in thought so easily.” 

He reminded her, but despite his words, he stood still and allowed her to reorient. Atsuko chuckled softly to herself, he was right. But people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. She’d seen him zone out a couple times at the bar earlier. A distant look in his eyes whenever she said his name or he wasn’t actively involved in a conversation. 

“Thanks for the tip, Hatake. Maybe you should take your own advice some time.” 

She retorted, smiling up at him with closed eyes, mimicking his taunting grin, before moving past him to continue their trek. She heard a soft scoff behind her and then he was back at her side, hands replanted in his pockets.

“You’re terribly bold, ya know.” 

Was his response after a couple seconds of tense silence, a tinge of teasing in his tone but, mostly, contempt. Atsuko shrugged, glancing sideways at him for a moment before focusing on the path in front of them again, a smirk forming. 

“I just get the distinct feeling you don’t get called on your bullshit like you should.”

It was a rather bold statement. But not one meant to hurt him. She genuinely felt comfortable enough to say something like that to him. Like her few moments of introspection regarding his person had been enough to familiarize herself with the guarded ninja. When he scoffed light heartedly she knew she was right on the money. 

“Well, maybe there’s a good reason for that. I am pretty dangerous if you haven’t heard.” 

Came his retort, teasingly threatening. This remark really did make her laugh, her head thrown back and all. She turned to look at him fully this time, barely able to make out the satisfied smirk hidden under his mask. 

“Hmm, yes I’ve heard. For some reason though, I couldn’t be less scared than I am right now. It’s strange…” 

She turned away from him after she saw the smirk fade and his eyebrow quirk in interest. She faced straight ahead again as they continued to walk, clearly being pulled in by her thoughts again. Kakashi, who seemed genuinely interested despite the tone of apathy he tried to convey. 

“What’s strange?” 

Snapped back to reality, she blinked a couple times, turning to look at him again quickly and then back ahead. Right, she was saying something. With a shrug, she let out a long exhale. 

“I don’t know. I feel like I’ve known you for a long time. I’m normally not like this, ya know. Quiet and calm. Typically, my nerves run wild when I’m thinking. I need distractions from my mind. Big crowds, a long to-do list, constant noise. But tonight… and even that morning several months ago… I feel content working through some of my thoughts.” 

There was a beat of silence after she stopped and she let out a sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose and squeezing her eyes shut for a moment.

“I’m not even really sure what I’m trying to say. I just feel comfortable around you. Have sense I met you.” 

Typically, an admittance of this kind left people blushing or stuttering. It was slightly intimate. But it didn’t worry her in the slightest. She had a feeling that what she said would soothe him in a strange way. He was used to people tip-toeing around him. In fear of what he was capable of and what he kept locked away. So, maybe, someone he hardly knew finding a sense of comfort in his presence… maybe that was what he needed to hear. 

If she was wrong and he was weirded out by the declaration, then so be it. If the worst thing that happened to her was she scared off the Copy Ninja then at least she could proudly say she had managed to make the famously stoic man uncomfortable. 

Her answer came shortly after these thoughts. A soft hum from the silver haired man. 

“I understand.” 

Was all he said, looking straight ahead again. She gave a curt nod and took that response to mean she was right in her assumption. He either felt the same way about her, or at the very least, he understood her rambling. They walked the rest of the way to Ichiraku in content silence. 

—————————————————————

After placing her order to go at Ichiraku, Atsuko and Kakashi made their way to her shared apartment with Sasuke. Luckily, the small ramen shop was on the way to her home so there wouldn’t be too much walking left and the food wouldn’t get cold. Atsuko decided it was time to speak up again as they kept a more brisk pace than before.

“So, I noticed you aren’t wearing the Anbu uniform.”

She stated, more an observation than a question. But an invitation for a more casual conversation nonetheless. Kakashi hummed in return, acknowledging her statement.

“If you’re just now noticing that, may I suggest a visit to the doctor?” 

He responded, voice even and mocking concern. Atsuko chuckled, elbowing him ever so slightly in the side. 

“Hush. I noticed before but suppose I didn’t put too much thought into it until now. Are you no longer with the Anbu?” 

She asked, her smile fading to a more serious face, genuinely curious. Since she was young he had donned the uniform. Even with his cat mask on, she could always tell when it was him. At first by the height difference between him and the other Black Ops. Then, as he got taller, by the distinct color of his hair. 

“I am not. Lord Hokage thought it was best to move me to a Jonin instructor position. Training Genin.” 

He responded, sounding a tad irritated by the change in job title. Without looking at him, she could imagine he might have even rolled his eyes a little. The thought made her smile again, careful not to grin too wide at the thought of the great Kakashi Hatake, wielder of the lightning blade and master of one-thousand Jutsu, training children. Instead of teasing him, she just nodded, her voice thoughtful as she replied. 

“I believe that will be a good fit for you. Granted, I don’t know you as well as I would like to. But I think you could benefit from the… youthful energy.” 

She glanced up and noticed the man’s eyes were upturned in the slightest bit, indicating a small smile behind his mask. He scoffed lightly,

“Youthful energy… you sound like Gai.” 

Atsuko returned his observation with a laugh. She knew who he was speaking of all too well. Being compared to Gai… she didn’t mind it as much as she thought she would. 

“Hey, Gai has some good philosophies on life. If the one thing you remember about me from this stroll is a comparison to him, I won’t be hurt. Either way, I think you should give it a chance. Impart some of that all knowing wisdom on the next generation.” 

At her conclusion, Kakashi hummed again. She knew she was simplifying things, but she really did believe what she said. However, as they approached her home she decided to drop the conversation, opting instead for routing around for her keys in her pocket. 

Once they got to her doorstep, she turned to take the bag of food he so graciously offered to carry and stopped for a moment to smile up at him. 

“Thank you for walking me home. I enjoyed it thoroughly.” 

Kakashi gave a nod, looking down at where she stood, then glancing up at the door, then back to her again. 

“I… I enjoyed it as well. Maybe I can walk you home another time.” 

He said, quietly. Almost too quiet to hear. Despite the fact that she felt so comfortable with him, her heart still did a mini somersault at the idea that he wanted to see her again. For the first time that night, he was truly looking into her eyes. Not giving her a closed eye smile or looking in her direction. There was a small moment of tension as she thought about reaching up and pulling down that mask to lean up and press a kiss against lips she had never seen. Thinking about the way he would sigh into her mouth. The way one of his hands would rest against her waist, gently pulling her closer as his long fingers tangled in the hair at the back of her head. Wondering how his lips would move against hers. Urgent and desperate or rather… slow and sensual. Growing deeper and deeper until they both had to pull away for a breath of fresh air.

She didn’t realize that her body had been moving closer to his out of its own accord until she heard a muffled sound come from inside. Her head snapped to the direction of the door, severing their eye contact in a swift motion, causing her to come crashing back to reality so quickly it took a minute for her to focus on the sound again. She listened intently and there it was again. A cry. No, a scream, distorted by the walls and doors in her way but she knew it was Sasuke. Immediately, her eyes went wide as she tried to fumble with the keys. Dropping them as her hands shook. When she bent over to grab them, she vaguely heard Kakashi behind her, alert and concerned.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

After she retrieved them, she flipped through the keys trying to find the right one, only to have them slip through her fingers again.

“Goddammit!”

She cursed, reaching a hand out to the door knob. Without a second thought, she sent a blast of wind chakra from her palm, effectively blasting the door knob and lock from its place on the wooden door, allowing her to kick it open with ease. She dropped the bag of food on the ground of the entrance way, somewhat aware that Kakashi was following behind her but not responding to his near constant questions. 

As soon as she stepped over the threshold she heard it again. A tiny scream followed by sobs. She rushed through the house, praying to whatever god there was that Sasuke wasn’t hurt. Please let him be okay. Please.

“Sasuke!” 

She cried, looking in every room of the house. The kitchen, not there. Not in the bathroom. Not in the living room. She finally threw his bedroom door open, only to see the child tossing and turning in his bed, crying and screaming, throwing punches with tiny fists at nothing. She approached his bedside, quickly kneeling and grabbing his arms with her hands, shaking him gently and trying to remain calm as she woke him, but still unable to hide the shaking in her own voice. 

“Sasuke… Sasuke, honey, wake up. It’s a dream.” 

The boy woke with a gasp, eyes wide as he tried to re-orient himself. When his terrified gaze landed on her, tears rose and he sat up, immediately throwing himself at her, arms locked around her neck as he shook and cried. She smoothed a hand down his back, small tears prickling in her own eyes as relief flooded her. He was safe. It was just a nightmare. 

“Shhh... hey, I got you… it was just a dream...” 

She cooed, rubbing soothing circles on his back and pressing a chaste kiss to his temple. After her breathing returned to normal and she had managed to stop the tears from coming, she looked around his room, noticing the empty tea cup on his nightstand.

Through his choked sobs, Sasuke managed to strangle out.

“I don’t know why… I drank the tea like every night I…” 

And she stopped him again, shushing him as her eyes squeezed shut in anguish. It was her fault. She had lied to him about the tea making the nightmares stop… if she had just told him the truth or been home a little earlier… fuck. 

After a few more moments, he calmed down enough to pull back from her embrace, sniffling and wiping at his eyes. She soothed her thumbs across his cheeks to help, chest physically aching at the sight of him. 

“Hey, it’s okay…” 

She encouraged, pushing back some of the dark hair that stuck to his sweaty forehead. Ever so slowly placing him under the genjutsu she had been using to help him sleep every night. As the boy’s eyelids slowly became heavy, she adjusted him so he was lying back in bed, stroking his hair until his breathing was even and his face relaxed. With a kiss to the forehead, she stood again, hands a little shaky as she exited the room. Once the door was shut behind her, she collapsed against it and sank to the floor with her head buried in her hands. 

She hadn’t even really noticed Kakashi standing directly across from where she sat in the hall until the shuffle of feet made her head snap back up, tears streaking her cheeks. She looked up at him, slowly, and groaned in embarrassment before dropping her head back into her hands, mumbling apologies. 

“Fuck… I’m so sorry about that. I didn’t mean to worry you or… fuck, this is all my fault.” 

She wiped at her cheeks quickly, fingers still trembling slightly as she blinked away the remainder of the tears. When she finally looked back up, his hand was outstretched to her and, after taking a moment to register the gesture, she reached up and took it. He hauled her to her feet and she stared at her shoes for a moment longer before speaking again, voice a little more stable this time. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t… I didn’t think he would try to sleep without me here… I should’ve been back sooner.” 

She felt his eyes glance down at her and then fixate on the bedroom door behind her.

“You’ve been using genjutsu to help him sleep?” 

He asked, and she nodded, finally turning her head back up and glancing over her shoulder at the door as well. 

“Yes… I didn’t want him to know that’s what I was doing… I’m not sure why I didn’t just tell him to begin with. I made him think it was the tea… he tried to drink some and go to bed on his own and then… well, you saw.” 

Ringing her hands together, she turned back to face him, his eyes trained back on her defeated face again. 

“Thank you. For following me inside… I really didn’t know what could have been happening. If he had been hurt or if…” 

She didn’t have to finish the rest, Kakashi nodded in understanding. She glanced back down the hall, seeing the remains of splintered wood and the door knob on the floor of the foyer. With a groan, she squeezed her eyes shut and dropped her head back against the bedroom door with a soft thud. 

“Such an idiot, now I’ve got to get that fixed…” 

To her surprise, the man across from her chuckled. Her eyes snapped back open and she looked at him like he was from another planet, which only made his chuckle a little deeper. She couldn’t, for the life of her, understand why he was laughing. Then again, it was pretty ridiculous. She had blown off her own doorknob because Sasuke was having a bad dream. She felt a laugh bubble up in her chest as well, shaking her head as she dropped it forward, her shoulders bouncing slightly. 

After a few seconds, they both regained their composure, looking back at one another before she peeled her body off of the door and trudged back into the living area with Kakashi in tow. 

“Hell of a first date, huh?” 

She questioned and immediately realized her error as she glanced over her shoulder, only to find the man standing rigid and wide eyed in the entrance of the hallway. A date. She’d called their accidental encounter in the bar and late night stroll a date. There was a long, long, silence before she huffed and continued walking to pick up the doorknob, still surrounded by splintered wood, and abandoned dinner from the floor, setting both on the kitchen table. Kakashi, however, stayed perfectly still. With her back to him and palms planted flat on the table, Atsuko spoke up again.

“Hey, I’m sorry again. For everything. For that comment and having to see me like that. I-“

And her speech was suddenly cut short as a strong hand clasped down on her shoulder and spun her around. She looked up in shock at the masked man who now stood before her. She opened her mouth to express this surprise and ask what the hell he was doing, but the sound died in her throat when he leaned down to place a quick, masked, kiss on her lips. 

Despite the barrier of the mask, she could feel the warmth and shape of Kakashi’s lips against her own. Her eyes remained wide open, staring at his closed ones. Her face was still one of utter shock when he pulled away. He looked down at her, wide eyed and mouth shut and chuckled lowly, bringing his finger up under her chin and using his thumb to wipe away a stray tear that still hung from her jaw.

“Thank you…” 

Was all he uttered before he was gone, disappearing in a faint puff of dust, leaving her confused but ecstatic. She huffed to herself. A grin growing over her face as she collapsed into one of the kitchen chairs, her own hand coming up to lightly touch her lips. Hell of a first date, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this up to standards! I would also like to make it clear that I am fully aware the name Yamato doesn’t really make an appearance until the Shippuden storyline begins but for continuity sake I just kind of ran with it. More Sasuke and OC interactions in the next chapter when training begins :)


	5. One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

The next morning came quickly. Atsuko woke as the early morning sun began to pour through the blinds of her bedroom window, throwing lines of light across her face. With a groan, she sat up and rubbed her temples, head slightly throbbing due to the drinks she’d had the night before. She wasn’t hungover, just dehydrated and worn. Still, she threw her blankets off and her feet hit the floor within minutes of waking. She pulled on a pair of sweatpants and tucked a tank top into the waistband, stretching her arms up over her head and bending at the waist to soften her tight muscles. Even in sleep she found she was tense, more often than not waking up with a pain in her neck or her jaw wound tight. 

She began to pater around the home, bare feet softly landing against the hardwood as she moved to the kitchen. She started the coffee pot and quickly started breakfast. While the pan warmed up, she wandered to Sasuke’s room, gently knocking on the door. When no response came, she assumed he was still asleep. Pushing the door open slightly, she confirmed her suspicions and went to wake the sleeping boy. 

She stood for a moment at his bedside. He seemed so calm lying on his side, small chest rising and falling slowly, with his legs curled up slightly. His face calm and, maybe, even a small smile on his lips. She felt guilty for having to wake him after the episode last night… but he did have classes. She reached out slowly, a hand on his shoulder and speaking quietly.

“Sasuke…” 

The boy let out a small grunt of discontent but opened his eyes nonetheless, blinking away the nights rest with a sleepy expression. 

“I’m making breakfast… might wanna go ahead and get dressed.” 

She advised, tossing his hair before leaving the room. Something she’d learned about Sasuke was that he was meticulous. Everything in his room was always tidy and he never dallied in the mornings. Usually, he would be up on his own by the time she rose but she figured last night had left him a little more drained than usual.

Returning to her spot in the kitchen, she finished breakfast. Eggs, toast, bacon, and some slices of fruit. She divided the portions evenly on two plates, setting Sasuke up with a glass of juice and herself with a glass of water and coffee, swallowing a few painkillers for her mild headache in the process. 

Right on time, Sasuke emerged from the hallway, hair combed and dressed for the day in his typical attire. She gave him a close eyed smile as he sat at the table to join her. 

“Are you feeling better after last night?” 

She asked, careful to not be too specific and possibly stir up some unpleasant memories.

Glass of juice to his lips, Sasuke nodded with his eyes closed as he took a sip. After he pulled it away, he stared down at his plate, seemingly embarrassed. 

“Yeah... thanks.” 

Was his response and Atsuko nodded in the affirmative. He didn’t need to thank her. Ever. They each took a couple bites of their food in silence before Atsuko decided it was time to let him know why exactly he had the nightmare he did last night.

“Sasuke… there’s something I haven’t told you… about those nightmares.” 

She started, and he finally looked up at her, eyes brow drawn down in confusion. She couldn’t help the tug of a smile at his expression, entirely too cute to be wearing such a serious face. Still, she sighed gently, setting down her fork and lacing her fingers together on the table top.

“That chamomile tea isn’t what’s been helping you sleep. I’ve… I’ve been placing you under a genjutsu every night to make sure you don’t have those nightmares.” 

She finally admitted. This time it was her turn to look down at her lap. She wasn’t entirely sure why she felt so guilty… parents lied to their children all the time in their best interest… but she realized, deep down, it wasn’t right. She should've let him know that he was dependent upon her for a good night's rest. That was another thing that didn’t sit well with her and would probably upset Sasuke as well. He wasn’t yet capable of even sleeping on his own, someone had to be there to help him. 

When she looked back up, Sasuke’s head was hung again as he stared down at his plate. She suddenly panicked at the thought of him being upset with her and spoke up again.

“Sasuke, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you from the beginning. I just… didn’t want you to feel like you had to depend on me. Like it made you weak… I just wanted to help you sleep. From now on, I’ll make sure to be here at night so you won’t have to worry about it.”

She finished, waiting on bated breath for Sasuke to snap at her or storm off… again, she was so concerned with his image of her and whether or not he trusted her that it made her physically ill. It was her own fault for lying to him when she knew it was wrong. Her thoughts began to run away from her again, spiraling into worst case scenarios as she stared at the top of his head from across the table. 

He finally looked up at her, a tiny bit of resentment in his eyes, searching her face for a sign of more deceit. Finally, he let out a sigh, eyes falling when he didn’t find what he was looking for. 

“It’s okay… thank you… for doing that and for telling me.” 

Atsuko’s eyes widened and her lips parted in surprise. Not at all the reaction she was expecting. She blinked several times as she processed what he said. After a couple beats of silence had passed, she responded.

“Oh… I… there’s no need to thank me. And I am truly sorry that I lied to you. Would you… would you like me to continue doing it?” 

She asked, getting her answer as Sasuke nodded, slowly and barely visible. She returned the gesture, turning back to her food. 

“Okay then, I will. You just let me know when you feel like you don’t need it or when you want me to stop.” 

With the tension gone, they both resumed eating slowly in silence. When both their plates were cleared, she stood to place the dishes in the sink and quickly wash them. Sasuke stayed sitting at the kitchen table behind her as she did so. With her back to him, she heard him speak up, voice small and uncharacteristically soft. 

“Did you… in the genjutsu. Did you create that place for me? The woods and the cat?”

He asked, sounding curious with a soft lilt in his voice she hadn’t heard since he was small. She smiled to herself as she rinsed the plates, nodding.

“Yes. Do you like it? Or would you prefer something else?”

She asked, glancing over her shoulder for a moment to see the boy looking at his hands in his lap with a smile. 

“I like it. It’s nice…” 

Came his small reply and she turned back to the sink, grin a little wider now. 

“Good. I’m glad. Now, go grab your bag for class and remember that your genjutsu training starts this afternoon. If you’re still up to it.” 

She challenged, turning off the sink and turning to give him a teasing smile. Sasuke nodded once, meeting her eyes with determination in his own and a confident smirk. He stood from the chair and went to retrieve his bag. She let out a gentle sigh, shoulders relaxing. So far so good. 

She took the opportunity to throw her hair up into a messy bun, a few strands of gray and black hair escaping and framing her face. Heading back to her room, she pulled on her everyday outfit. A cropped fishnet top and a pair of loose, black, overalls. Sliding on her own sandals, she waited by the front door for Sasuke, watching as he came down the hall, backpack slung over his shoulders. She moved behind him, unzipping the bag to place his lunchbox inside, and zipping it back up with a pat to the top of his head. 

“Let’s roll.” 

—————————————————————

Upon arriving at the academy, Atsuko stopped Sasuke before he could walk across the field with a hand on his shoulder. She crouched and licked her thumb, wiping some toast crumbs from his cheek. He swatted her hand away in annoyance and she laughed, standing back up and ruffling his hair once more for good measure. If looks could kill, she’d be dead. Through her chuckles she managed out,

“Sorry, bud. Just want to make sure you look good for all your little girlfriends.” 

She teased, causing Sasuke to throw his head back with a groan, pulling an expression of pure anguish. 

“I’m just teasing. I’ll see you this afternoon, alright?” 

Her face turning soft, the teasing grin replaced by a worrying smile. Sasuke nodded in response, turning his back to her and stuffing his hands into his pockets before strutting across the field to the front doors of the academy. She couldn’t help the scoff that fell from her lips as she watched him. Little tough guy Sasuke Uchiha. She shook her head as she turned to walk back home. Thankfully Sasuke hadn’t seen the hole in the front door this morning. Or if he did, he didn’t deem it necessary to question it. She should be able to get that fixed before she picked him up later. 

As she was walking away, she heard a familiar voice call her name from behind. She turned and smiled at the approaching man.

“Hey, Iruka. What’s up? Wait- is Sasuke already causing trouble? I swear I just let him out of my sight…” 

She started and Iruka laughed, shaking his head as he bore that beaming smile of his.

“No! No, not all. I actually wanted to catch you really quick to ask a favor.” 

He said, a hand coming up to rub the back of his tan neck, the smile still planted firmly in place. She sighed in relief, shoulders slumping and then straightening back up as she returned his smile, though not as exaggerated. 

“Anything. What’s up?” 

She questioned. The man was a couple years younger than her but she knew him well enough due to his position at the academy and general position in the Shinobi ranks. He was a good man and taught the youth of the village well. The least she could do is comply with whatever request he had for her. 

“Well, see, around this time of year we typically have a genjutsu specialist come in and teach the kids a little for a few days, see if any of them show promise in that field or are interested in it… usually, Kurenai handles it but she’s out on a mission at the moment and I know you have some previous experience teaching and training genjutsu with… uh…” 

She cut him off with a nod, she knew what he was getting at. She had experience from training Itachi. So he wanted her to cover for Kurenai and teach the kids a little about genjutsu. That didn’t sound so bad and she could use the distraction during the day, even if it was only for a few days.

“So you want me to cover for Kurenai. Just for a few days?” 

She questioned, a small smile still on her lips as she tilted her head at the man. Iruka rubbed the back of his neck again, a nervous grin on his face as his eyes drew closed.

“Well, it’s more like a week… but yes would you be willing to fill in for her?” 

He asked and Atsuko mulled it over. She really had nothing else going on at the moment, so she shrugged.

“Sure. I’d be happy to. When do I start?” 

She asked, hands still planted in the pockets of her overalls. 

“Today’s Friday so… Monday?” 

He questioned and she nodded in the affirmative. 

“Alright, sounds great. Do I need anything special?”

Iruka nodded, turning his back to her and motioning for her to follow him. 

“Yeah I have the curriculum in the classroom, follow me.”

She did as he requested, following him through the gates and into the academy. She smiled as fond memories began to come back in waves. Walking these halls as a child, gripping her backpack straps with tiny hands, eyes wide and nervous on her first day. It would soon come to be the only place she felt safe and welcome. 

Once they entered the stadium style classroom, all of the students who were standing and chattering, took their seats when they noticed Iruka, looking ahead expectantly. He greeted them happily as he went to dig through a stack of papers on his desk.

“Morning class.” 

And all the children returned it with,

“Good morning, Iruka-sensei.” 

Atsuko smiled, taking the opportunity to look around the room at all of the students. She noticed Sasuke first, his hands weaved into a cradle under his head. The distant look fell from his face as he spotted her, raising an eyebrow. She smiled at him, shrugging as she went back to looking at the other students. She recognized a few of them. The one in the middle row, already sleeping, was the spitting image of Shikaku Nara. The one next to him, happily munching on a bag of chips, had to be the young Akimichi boy. In the very back of the room, looking incredibly nervous for someone so tiny, was the Hyuga heir… Hinata if she recalled correctly. She recognized a couple others. Inoichi’s daughter and the Haruno girl sat side by side, glaring daggers at one another. A boy from the Aburame clan, not distinguishable by his facial features but rather by the way he covered them with a large coat and those signature black shades. Then finally the boy with the small dog nestled on the top of his head, he had to be an Inuzuka. 

Just as she thought she had picked out all the recognizable faces, her eyes fell on the blonde haired boy sitting directly behind Sasuke. His brow was furrowed, glaring holes into the back of Sasuke’s head with his arms crossed defiantly. She smirked to herself. Minato’s boy. The Nine-Tails Jinchūriki, Naruto Uzumaki. The way he was staring at Sasuke suggested they had some sort of rivalry, but the young Uchiha had never mentioned him. He didn’t even seem concerned when the boy behind him huffed and turned his nose up at him. Not that Sasuke could see the motion, but she knew he had heard it. She chuckled lightly to herself, making eye contact with Sasuke as he glanced in her direction and rolled his eyes. Cute. So he had a little rival. She’d have to bug him about that later. 

After this little display, she heard Iruka sigh in relief as he found the folder he had been searching for this entire time. He walked back to where she stood and presented it to her.

“Here. These are all the topics we like to go over during the genjutsu section. It’s not much because they’re still young, it’s mostly just to let them know there are other things besides ninjutsu and taijutsu and how to tell it apart. We also use this week to determine who may show promise there, or at least who’s interested in it. I’ve also included a roster of the students so you can get an idea of their skill sets.” 

She nodded, taking the folder from his hands and giving him an appreciative smile. 

“Thank you, Iruka. I’ll do my best…” 

She gave a little nervous chuckle, causing him to smile and shake his head.

“You’ll do great!” 

He encouraged, before turning to address the class, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Okay guys, this Atsuko Kamiyama. You will refer to her as Atsuko-sensei. She’ll be handling the genjutsu section starting next week. Because she is new, I want everyone to be on their best behavior. Understood?” 

He asked, and the class nodded, all saying,

“Yes, Iruka-sensei.” 

In unison again. Iruka smiled, then whipped his head around to where Naruto was sitting, still glaring at Sasuke like if he stared hard enough the boy would disappear. 

“Understood, Naruto?” 

He asked, causing the boy to perk up, a look of disbelief and anger taking over his features as he stood and yelled.

“Hey! Why are you always picking on me Iruka-sensei!?”

Iruka raised his hand to point an accusatory finger in Naruto’s direction. 

“Because you always cause the most trouble! Now I want to be sure you’ll behave yourself next week along with the rest of the class.” 

Naruto returned Iruka’s shouting, trying to deflect his scolding to some of the other boys in the room, who began to bark back at him one by one until almost everyone was shouting. Atsuko couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up out of her chest at the scene. She dropped her head back as her chest bounced from the force of it. These kids, all yelling at one another, and the ones who weren’t participating in the outburst looked so positively mortified they couldn’t bear to be in the room another second. It was indeed rejuvenating. Just like she had told Kakashi the night before. Youthful energy… 

When she finally stopped laughing, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes, she noticed the room had gone silent and all eyes were trained on her. Iruka was the exception. He looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die with his face buried in his hands. This made her let out a few more stray giggles before turning to look back at the wide eyes of all the students. The grin never left her face as she said,

“I love it! Let’s keep that same energy next week.” 

Voice strong and a confident glint in her eye as she used the file in her hand to point at the students. They stared at her, wide eyed and confused, as she turned and walked out of the classroom with a single hand in her pocket, chuckling all the while.

—————————————————————

Atsuko strolled home, file tucked under her arm with a grin on her face the entire way. Being in that classroom, even just for a brief moment, had really boosted her mood. She had always loved training Itachi, but she figured it was because he was so brilliant and easy to work with. However, now she wondered if it was a career choice she should actively pursue. Despite all the things that could go wrong, she did love her Shinobi work. But it seemed like, for the next five years or so, she would be tethered to the village by Sasuke. She knew for a fact she would go crazy just playing homemaker, day in and day out. She needed a day job… if next week went well, maybe she would see if Iruka needed any help or if there was a position available for her.

As she turned the corner and approached her home, she saw a tall figure in the distance, leaning leisurely against the wall next to her front door. The closer she got, she recognized the long frame of Kakashi, a book in his hand as his visible eye scanned the page. Her grin grew wider, but she reigned it in until it was only a smug smile. As she approached him, she glanced quickly at his book before he realized she was there. She let out a scoff and his head jerked up to look at her, giving her that close eyed smile as he snapped the book shut and slipped it into a pocket on his vest. 

“Reading smut in broad daylight? You’re a brave one, Hatake.”

She teased, noticing the blush creep up on his face and his eye widen, she chuckled. Deciding to let sleeping dogs lie, she followed her jab up with,

“What are you doing here, anyway?”

With that, he seemed to calm a little, closing his eyes again as he pushed himself off the wall, reminding her just how much taller he was as he rose to full height. 

“I came to see if you needed help with your door.” 

He responded, looking over at the pitiful thing. Closed but no latch to keep it that way. Just a hole peering straight into her living room. Her eyes followed his, sighing and humming low in her throat. 

“Yeah, I had planned on fixing it myself today. You don’t have to help me, it’s my own fault for panicking.”

She stated, embarrassed even more now than she was right after it happened. She glanced at Kakashi and noticed he was staring at her as he shook his head. 

“No, I don’t have to. I want to.” 

She turned to look at the masked man fully, cocking her head to the side a little in confusion. Sure, he had kissed her quickly last night and he had been a proper gentleman the entire evening… but she wasn’t expecting an act of service from the man who usually moped about the village with his nose buried in a book. Hell, she really wasn’t expecting to see him again at all unless she sought him out. After deciding this wasn’t some kind of prank, she smiled fully at him, giving him a nod in the affirmative. 

“Okay then. Thank you.” 

She accepted, moving past him to simply push the broken door open with a giggle.

“You could’ve just let yourself in.” 

He followed her inside, hands tucked into his pockets and letting out a humorless chuckle. 

“As could every criminal and petty thief in the Hidden Leaf.” 

Atsuko bounced her head back and forth, shrugging at his point.

“I’d like to see 'em try.” 

She responded, the smirk playing on her face again. She kicked off her shoes at the door, Kakashi following suit before walking into the living area and placing the folder from Iruka on the table. She turned to look at the masked man again and realized how closely behind her he had been following. When she turned she was met with just the sight of his vest, having to crane her head back to look him in the face. A slight gasp escaped her, and she blushed as soon as the sound left her mouth, taking a small step back. 

“Uh… I kind of crashed last night after everything so I had planned on taking a quick shower once I got back. Think you can entertain yourself for 15 minutes?” 

She asked, and Kakashi nodded, helping himself to a seat at the kitchen table and immediately pulling out that erotic novel again. She laughed, turning her back to walk down the hall and calling over her shoulder.

“That’s a good one. Just wait til you get to the end, you won’t believe it.”

A deep blush spread across Kakashi’s face and he had never been more grateful that she wasn’t looking at him. Atsuko heard him clear his throat awkwardly right as she shut the door to the bathroom, laughing again. 

She showered quickly, washing her hair and body. Kakashi Hatake was sitting in her kitchen, reading a dirty novel, and was going to spend his day helping her fix her front door. The thought sent a jolt of electricity through her body as she washed off. He was unlike any man she’d met before. Most Shinobi were a little closed off, it was a hazard of the job. But he was different. Completely locked up and truly mysterious, despite her general knowledge of his past. She couldn’t understand why he did some of the things he did. Showing up here today to help her, after he had kissed her the night before and just disappeared into the night with nothing more than a ‘thank you.’ Freezing up at her mention of a date, then coming to spend the entire day with her… none of it made sense.

Unless… was this his idea of a date? Clearly, he liked her. Right? Maybe not. Maybe the drinks got to him a little more than he’d let on last night and he knew how she felt about him, so he felt guilty for leading her on and came to fix her door as an apology. No. That was stupid. He was mysterious, sure, but she knew his ‘type’. If he didn’t mean anything by that kiss and didn’t want to pursue anything more, then he would’ve just ignored her. Disappeared. Instead he was here. In her kitchen. Waiting for her to get out of the shower. Waiting - shit. Atsuko realized she’d been letting her mind wander again. She quickly turned the water off, stepping out and grabbing a towel.

This idea of a date with Kakashi… it made her a little self conscious. She stood for a few moments, looking at her reflection in the full length mirror on the backside of the bathroom door. She was a little heavier than most women in the village. But she was curvy in most of the right places. Thick thighs, blossoming up into wide hips that dipped into a thinner waist and then back up to a heavy bust. She was also a little on the shorter side, about 5’3. 5’6 in heels. 

She let out a huff. Her body had never been an issue before when it came to men. They seemed to like gripping the meat of her thighs, had no problems trailing kisses down her soft belly… she shook her head at herself. So what if Kakashi didn’t like her body. This wasn’t even a real date. Right? She shook off the thought, pulling on the pair of black cargo pants that sat just right on her hips and a matching black sports bra. 

After coming to terms with her figure and, actually, being quite pleased by the way it looked in the outfit, she opted for poking at her face a little. Prominent amber colored eyes, framed by long lashes and straight eyebrows. She ran a couple fingers over her round lips, pouting and then relaxing her muscles to their natural position. She’d been compared to a puppy more than once in her life and she was starting to see why as she stared at her reflection for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

Atsuko dropped her head back with a soft groan. This was ridiculous. She had always thought she was attractive, so why in the world was she questioning it now? She shook off the nerves and took a breath before stepping out of the bathroom, head tilted to one side as she busied herself with drying her long, curly, hair. She caught glimpses of the grey streaks that had formed over the years. She wasn’t old by any means, the grey streaks had started to grow through her dark hair when she was 14 and she had just never bothered to dye them. She thought they added character and had been assured by a medical Ninja that it was simply a result of stress. Shocker. 

As she walked into the kitchen, she threw the towel over her shoulder and headed to start a fresh pot of coffee. 

“Sorry for the wait.” 

She mentioned casually with her back to the man. Kakashi hummed, glancing up from his book and then back down and then back up again. Was she really wearing that in front of him? He swallowed the lump in his throat, managing to stutter out a response. 

“Oh, it’s no big deal…” 

She glanced over her shoulder, long enough to see the way he was raking his eyes over her body. He seemed to be torn between being respectful and unable to tear his eyes away from her backside. She turned her back to him again, scoffing internally as her worries from before completely melted away.

“Coffee?” 

She asked, adding an innocent lilt to her voice. Kakashi only nodded then, realizing she couldn’t see this, cleared his throat before speaking up again.

“Yeah, thanks.” 

She set the coffee pot up, turning around and leaning back against the counter as it sputtered to life and brewed the liquid gold. She crossed her arms under her chest, looking at him as he jerked his eyes up to meet hers. Teasing him right now would be so easy that it wouldn’t even be fun. So she opted against it.

“So, this door. I’m thinking there really isn’t a way around just buying a new one.”

She voiced her thoughts, gnawing her bottom lip a little. Kakashi, seemingly returning to normal, nodded in agreement.

“I would say not. You really did a number on the poor thing.” 

He retorted and she scoffed, smirking as she rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, well, that door had it coming.”

The remark caused Kakashi to chuckle, deep in his chest. She found she was coming to love that sound, muffled ever so slightly by his mask and just barely an octave higher than his speaking voice. It radiated in her chest and forced a smile onto her face. A small silence fell afterwards, the only sound the gurgling of the coffee pot behind her. Everything about this felt so… perfect. Her nervousness had faded as soon as she entered the room with him. Tension peeled away from her muscles in layers, most of which was just natural to her at this point. She didn’t realize her shoulders were so taught until she felt them ease. Or that her back was so stiff until a wave of relaxation rolled through it, causing her to hunch forward slightly. She closed her eyes for a moment and she just let the calmness sweep over her in waves. She didn’t question anymore why just being in his presence had this effect on her. All she knew was she didn’t want it to end.

The ding of the coffee maker brought her back to reality and her eyes snapped open. He was staring at her again, the hint of a lazy smile on his face. Maybe he felt the same way. She mulled this over as she turned around to prepare the coffee, pulling two white mugs from the drying rack and pouring. 

“How do you like it?” 

She questioned and Kakashi responded.

“Black is fine.” 

She poured some sugar and creamer into her own cup, stirring it with a spoon before bringing both mugs to the table. She sat across from him, cradling the warm cup in both hands as she gently blew across the surface and took a slow sip.

When she put the drink down, she stared at it for a second before looking back up at the man across from her as he took a sip as well, moving too fast for her to get a glimpse of his face as he moved the mask. A mischievous smile crawled across her face. Now was the perfect time to tease him.

“Ya know, if you plan on kissing me again today, I would prefer you lower the mask first.” 

She stated nonchalantly, taking another sip of her drink. She’d hoped to pull one of those flabbergasted looks from him, but he only chuckled in response, setting the mug down in front of him. 

“Noted.” 

Came his smooth reply and her heart flipped. Dammit, that backfired quickly. She went in for another drink to hide the soft blush that had creeped across her cheeks. He was so… frustrating. That should have worked. He should’ve choked on his hot coffee, eye looking as if it were about to pop out of its socket as he coughed. Instead, he’d been so unbelievably measured in his response that a single word had almost done the same to her. 

All her skills in reading energies and body language were of no use now. He was an elite Shinobi, former Anbu Black Ops. If anyone knew how to mask emotions, it was him. So the times she’d caught him off guard must have really come as a surprise to him. Now, however, she assumed he was putting the pieces together. Treating this like a mission and preparing himself for any teasing or flirtatious comments she threw his way. 

Well, Atsuko thought, two can play that game. She was sure now that he was at least partly interested in her, so it was time to turn it up a notch. She was a Shinobi too, and she’d be damned before a man got the best of her and turned her into a blushing school girl. She WOULD break him first. She found her resolve, forcing the blush from her cheeks and rolling her eyes as she set her drink down. Standing and stretching her arms up over her head, bending back at the waist and letting out a satisfied exhale. 

“Well, I say we head out.” 

She suggested, grabbing her cup and walking to where Kakashi sat at the opposite end of the round table to collect his mug as well. She made sure her thinly clad chest moved a little too close to his face as she did so, movements slow and deliberate. She heard a sharp intake of breath from the man and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to suppress a smirk as she turned her back to him to place the cups in the sink. Yes, two could definitely play that game. 

—————————————————————

After measuring the door and jotting down the dimensions, Kakashi and Atsuko headed out to a small woodwork shop in the village. It was a standard sized door, surely they’d have something pre-cut they could use. As they walked this time, the streets of the village brimmed with life. Children chasing one another, giggling and shouting. Workers at stalls calling out today’s deals at passerby’s. Shinobi walked side by side and discussed their next mission amongst themselves. The sun was high in the sky by now and Atsuko let out a pleased sigh as it warmed her skin. 

She looked around at all of the people as they passed. The sight of bright smiles and sound of arguments. All of it was precious to her and these moments never failed to remind her why she’d chosen the path of a Shinobi. To defend this village and the people in it with her life, happily. With that stripped away from her in her current position, she found herself feeling a little lost. She addressed the masked man by her side without looking at him directly.

“Kakashi. What would you do if you weren’t a Shinobi?” 

She asked, curiosity laced into the words. She gave him a short glance, seeing he was deep in thought at the question. 

“I… I’m honestly not sure. Suppose I’ve never really considered anything else.” 

He responded, seemingly a little stumped. She huffed and nodded her head in agreement.

“Me either. But now I have to figure it out. No missions until Sasuke reaches Genin. I can’t spend the next few years just playing house. I’ll lose my mind.”

She gave a chuckle, making light of the statement. Then following it with a more serious tone.

“More importantly though, I still want to be of use. To these people.” 

She gestured lightly with her head at the people who littered the streets, eyes scanning the crowd thoughtfully. Smiling sadly, she glanced up at Kakashi who nodded once in response. 

“I understand. You’ll find something. I noticed that file on your table earlier… helping out at the Academy?”

He questioned, turning to meet her eyes for a moment before looking back ahead. 

“Yes. Iruka asked me to handle the genjutsu section next week in place of Kurenai. I’m looking forward to it.” 

She replied, the smile reaching her eyes this time at the thought. He didn’t need to say anything more. That could be her outlet and way of giving back for the time being. 

As they approached the woodworking shop, Atsuko took the lead inside, Kakashi following behind with his hands in his pockets. He gave the shopkeeper a close eyed smile as Atsuko rushed the man, handing him the paper with the dimensions of the door. She explained that she needed a replacement, that her doorknob had been… broken off by intruders and they had completely destroyed the surrounding wood so she couldn’t just replace the knob. 

Luckily, the shop keeper had something similar to what she was looking for but it had to be altered slightly to fit. He let her know they would make the changes and deliver the door to her home within 2 hours. 

“We can also install it if you need. There is an extra fee involved.” 

The shopkeeper advised and Atsuko turned to look at Kakashi, who only shrugged in response.

“I think we can handle the installation. But thank you.” 

She replied with a smile and the shopkeeper nodded, filling out a form with all of the information and heading into the back of the shop, shouting orders at hidden workers.

Upon leaving the shop, Atsuko and Kakashi headed back in the direction of her home. 

“I need to stop at the market and pick up a few things… then I can make us some lunch before the door is delivered?” 

She suggested, and again, Kakashi shrugged. She took that as confirmation and walked ahead. 

When they entered the market, Kakashi continued to hover behind her as she picked up some of the things she needed and placed them in the small basket she carried. Eggs, bread, fruits and vegetables. She grabbed some fresh deli meat and cheese for their lunch. 

It was mostly quiet in the shop, the sound of overhead fans becoming white noise that drowned out any chatter. Kakashi didn’t say much as he followed her, only letting out sounds of disapproval or affirmation when she asked if he liked certain things. Turkey? A hum of confirmation. Ham? A grunt of dislike. His sounds made her smile. A man of few words indeed. She stood for a moment as she stared at the bottled soaps, trying to decide if she wanted to try something new. To fill the silence, she rambled a little about the different scents and brands.

“See, I love mint scented shampoos, they open up the sinuses and give this invigorating feeling. But it dries my hair out….” 

She explained, going on about how it was important to pick a distinct soap. Scent was a part of the personality, just as much as the clothes one wore. People could catch a whiff of a specific thing and they would think about someone they associated with it. Kakashi just stared at the back of her head as she explained, smiling under his mask, content to listen to her prattle on all day if she wished. Just as she made her decision and reached for a bottle of some coconut mint concoction, a smooth voice called her name. 

“Atsuko.” 

Her hand fell away from the bottle and she turned to see where the sound had come from. A man was approaching her, brown hair poking out underneath a bandana and senbon nestled between his lips. She gave him a knowing smile, tilting her head to the side. 

“Hi, Genma. It’s been a while.” 

She commented and he smirked in return,

“Well, not for lack of trying on my part. I guess you’ve been busy.” 

He replied, that smirk he wore making her insides flutter a bit. She’d seen that same expression between her legs several times. Dispelling the memory, she focused on what he’d said. She had seen a few notes in her mailbox during recent months from him. Asking when they’d see each other again. Letting her know he’d be in the village and free on certain dates. She’d been meaning to place a reply in his mailbox, explaining her situation and that, with Sasuke around, she wasn’t sure they should continue their little tryst. But she’d honestly forgotten. Seeing him again, however, did stir up an old desire. She blushed lightly, hand rubbing at the back of her neck. 

“Ah, I’m sorry. Yes, I’ve been incredibly busy. It’s really no excuse though, for not replying that is.” 

She stated, her eyes closed in the smile. Kakashi still hovered close behind her and took note of the way Genma’s eyes dragged over Atsuko’s form. He felt a little nauseous at the sight. 

“It’s alright. If you’re free tomorrow night, maybe we could-“

His sentence was cut short as Kakashi reached out to grab the bottle of shampoo Atsuko had been hovering over previously. He reached over her shoulder and dropped it into the basket carefully, giving the other man a close eyed smile as Genma finally noticed his presence.

Atsuko’s eyes widened as the bottle landed in the basket, and she tilted her back to look over her shoulder at the masked ninja. That smile on his face was purely for show, she noticed. The movement was a mild threat. Was Kakashi… jealous? Staking his claim in the shampoo aisle of the market? She turned her attention back to Genma, a slightly embarrassed smile on her face. She realized this was a make or break moment. Accepting Genma’s invitation meant she would most certainly have a… satisfying night. It seems it would also hurt Kakashi. Or piss him off and force him to admit to her his true intentions.

No. This wasn’t a romance novel where the hero confessed his love to prevent the woman of his dreams from falling into the arms of another man. This was real life and if she accepted Genma’s invitation she felt it would mean never seeing Kakashi again. Still… 

She found her words, speaking carefully.

“Sorry, I’m helping out at the Academy next week and need to go over the material this weekend… but, maybe another time.” 

She responded, flashing him another smile. She wanted to leave that door open ever so slightly. There was a very real possibility that whatever was going on with her and Kakashi wouldn’t work out. If it didn’t, she’d prefer to have the option of friends with benefits waiting in the wings. Not that Kakashi was just some place holder. She was genuinely interested in him, in more ways than one. But it was all still very new. It was a tricky situation, but she was confident in her navigation. 

Genma, seemingly pleased with her answer, returned her smile with another smirk, moving the senbon from one side of his mouth to the other. He glanced up to give Kakashi a look of challenge before returning his eyes to the woman before him. 

“A rain check, then. Just let me know when you’re free. You know where I live.” 

He commented, the final jab at Kakashi and confirmation of their history. For extra measure, he threw in a wink before spinning on his heel to walk away, rather pleased with himself. 

Atsuko let out a sigh, dropping her head forward and almost forgetting about Kakashi hovering behind her. Those final words of Genma’s were a deliberate choice. To let Kakashi know they knew each other intimately. She managed out a defeated, 

“Sorry, about him.”

As she turned to look at the silver haired man, who only shrugged in response, managing to smile down at her.

“It’s no issue. He’s kind of arrogant, huh?” 

He stated, tone steady as ever. Atsuko huffed out a laugh, grateful he didn’t appear to be upset. 

“Yeah. He’s nice though, once you get to know him.” 

She defended slightly before turning to head for the check out, Kakashi falling in step behind her yet again. 

After the confrontation in the grocery store, Atsuko gnawed her bottom lip as she mulled over every moment of it. Kakashi had really appeared territorial. They had only really known each other less than 24 hours and he was already challenging her previous romances? Granted, he had kissed her last night so surely he was interested in her. Yet he made no move today… the words sprung from her before she really had a chance to stop them.

“You confuse me a little, Hatake.” 

She stated as they both walked, each of them holding a couple grocery bags. He raised an eyebrow at her, deciding to participate in the conversation. 

“How so?” 

Atsuko’s lips curled up into a smile as she squinted, trying to find the right words.

“Well… you’re quiet. Like I said last night, I don’t mind that. It gives me time to think. However, with that quiet comes this…slightly uneasy feeling. You’re good at masking your emotions so I don’t really know what you’re thinking. I wonder if you enjoy my company or if you simply are just tolerating me. You kiss me and then disappear without even giving me a chance to kiss you back. Then you show up the next day and offer to help me fix a problem I caused. You challenge my past fling with nothing more than a smile and a bottle of soap. Then you help me carry my groceries home.”

She realized she was prattling on, but her face remained thoughtful as she continued. 

“Maybe you’re just a man of action rather than a man of words. Maybe you’re just as confused as I am, but somehow I doubt that. You seem like you’re always several steps ahead...”

She paused for a moment, brain moving almost too fast for her mouth to keep up. It felt like she was physically putting a puzzle together so she started up again with a gentle sigh. 

“You project this apathetic, cold, face to the world. But everything you’ve done in our time alone is the exact opposite. You care deeply and you show it in your actions. Walking me home last night, helping me today… I suppose you are just keeping that wall up to scare people off. Scary, mysterious, Anbu with the tragic past. If you keep people at arms length, they can’t get close enough to hurt you, or you them.” 

She stopped talking when she noticed he wasn’t beside her anymore. Looking up and around until she spotted him a couple feet back, standing completely still with his head dropped. Shit. She’d said way too much. Picking him apart like that… she’d only meant to tease him a little. Pick at what was obviously in front of her, the way he acted. Then she just couldn’t stop. Things had started to make sense while she was talking through them and she just kept going. 

Atsuko stood still as well, staring back at him with a mild panic in her eyes. There was no fixing this. She’d read too deeply into things too fast and worse, had voiced those thoughts to him. In broad daylight. Only a day after knowing him. Her feet were slowly becoming part of the ground beneath them. The longer she stood there, the more the weight of what she’d said crushed her. The thoughts that usually whirled through her head at breakneck speed were halted in their tracks as well. No internal monologue or remote idea of how to proceed. All she could focus on was the increasingly drowning sound of the breeze, flooding her head with a hollow rush. She could feel her pulse hammering with regret and embarrassment. Finally, the sound of a metallic pan hitting the ground in a nearby restaurant dragged her, kicking and screaming, back to the present. 

She managed to move one foot in his direction, stuttering out a sorrowful,

“Kakashi… I-“

Then she blinked, and he was gone, the rush of wind from his sudden exit making her hair flutter wildly. The only evidence he had been in front of her at all were the imprints his sandals had left in the dirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i lied in the notes of the last chapter sorrryyyyyy but i couldn't pass up the opportunity for dramaaa!
> 
> also, i finally managed to get a short physical description in about the OC. I'm not great at describing appearances? seems like i lend myself more to internal thoughts than anything. 
> 
> anyway, i hope everyone likes the chapter and again if you have any suggestions i am completely open! 
> 
> next update in a couple days because i can't seem to stop writing this??


	6. On Training and Unnecessary Apologies

Atsuko finally managed to get her feet working again, cursing herself the entire walk back to her home. Aside from the fact that she had managed to scare off a man she was interested in, everything she had said had been incredibly rude and uncalled for. She couldn’t stop playing the words over and over in her head. She’d all but psychoanalyzed him on the spot, with no forewarning or request.

The worst part was she knew she was right. She’d hit the nail on the fucking head with her assessment and that meant that Kakashi was probably taking her words more harshly than anyone else would have. He was quiet and closed off for a reason. If he wanted people to know the caring, hurting, depth inside of him, he would have acted like it. Instead of letting him be and maybe speak to her about it himself, she shattered right through that barrier he had built up. Forcing all those emotions he hid to the surface. She thought back on the line that literally left him in her dust. 

“If you keep people at arms length, they can’t get close enough to hurt you, or you them.” 

She had really said those words to a man she’d known less than 24 hours. 

It was an uncomfortable gift. Being able to see through a person’s defenses immediately and understanding what made them tick. It was unsavory that she considered the private lives and emotional blockages of every person she spent more than an hour with. But it was something she couldn’t really control. For instance, even being in that classroom momentarily and witnessing the outburst near the end, she had a pretty good idea of how most of those kids operated.

Naruto, shouting and starting a classroom wide argument was clearly his attempt at being recognized. He has been ignored and shunned his entire childhood. So he would do anything for people to pay attention to him. Whether it was good or bad attention, it didn’t matter. That’s likely why he glared at Sasuke like he was the devil himself. She knew Sasuke was talented, leagues ahead of his peers. That brought him positive attention from all sources. Admiration from the kids in his class and pride from his teachers. Naruto was stuck somewhere between joining his classmates' admiration and jealousy. He wanted that attention and recognition.

Then there was Iruka. His specific treatment of Naruto could’ve easily been misread as an exasperated teacher, fed up with a troublesome students' antics. However, it ran deeper than that. He took the time to call out Naruto. Granted, his issues seemed to be a little more outwardly focused in nature, but Iruka could have easily called on the Nara boy for sleeping in class. Or the Haruno and Yamanaka girls for feuding more than they paid attention. No, Iruka specifically chose Naruto because he cared for the boy. He genuinely wanted him to perform well and wanted to make sure his issues didn’t heed his progress. Despite the yelling, it was a caring gesture.

She had gathered all of this from being in the classroom for no more than 10 minutes. There were no additional thoughts needed to analyze it. These things just were and it was as plain to her as the sun in the sky. That’s why, when she began speaking about Kakashi, all the things she had picked up on and filed away surfaced. They were things that she had realized without having to consider them much. So once she started talking, finally picking through the little sticky notes and scrap papers in her brain, she couldn’t stop. Connecting all the points like a police bulletin board covered in maps and notes was connected through red string. 

As she returned home, she noticed two brown bags sitting neatly on her front porch… the groceries Kakashi had been holding. With a sigh, she pushed the door open and loaded in all of the bags, slowly sorting things into their rightful homes. She stared down at the food she had picked out for lunch and pinched the bridge of her nose. This was awful. The guilt that racked her body was heavy enough to force her to sit at the kitchen table for a moment. She felt like she had completely violated Kakashi. Completely disregarding his carefully crafted barriers and forcing herself inside. The idea made her sick to her stomach and she wanted nothing more than to just apologize. 

As if on cue, there was a knock at the front door. Her head jerked up from its resting place in her hands and she rushed to the door, yanking it open and readying her tongue to fire off rapid apologies. The words died in her throat when she was met face to face with two men from the woodworking shop, packing her new front door. A weary sigh left her lips and she forced a smile. 

“Oh. You guys are early…” 

She looked around, realizing she was the only person here and installing this thing was likely a two person job. She turned back, that fake smile faltering a little.

“Any way I could pay that installation fee now?”

————————————————————

After the two men had finished installing the door,   
Atsuko did some laundry, hanging it out to dry in the backyard. She watered the plants, inside and outside, did some light cleaning, and then it was time to get Sasuke. She spaced out on her walk to the Academy, mind finally silent as a strange sense of acceptance washed over her. It had been a nice 24 hours, but she had other things to worry about. 

As she approached the gates outside the academy, seeing Sasuke waiting for her leaned against the fence, her melancholy attitude melted away. She grinned at the boy who pushed himself off of the chain link to approach her, hands never leaving his pockets.

“Hey, badass. How was class?” 

She asked, head tilted to the side in curiosity. Sasuke was all she needed to worry herself with for the time being. Men and relationships would just get in the way. 

Sasuke scoffed in return, shrugging his thin shoulders. 

“Alright, I guess. What was all that stuff this morning about you teaching?”

He asked, falling into step beside her as they walked back home. 

“Yeah… Iruka-sensei asked me to cover your genjutsu class next week. So I guess you’ll have to start calling me Atsuko-sensei, huh?”

She suggested, raising an eyebrow down at the boy who only chuckled and responded.

“I already call you that.” 

She shrugged her shoulders, he was right. He just didn’t say it often. 

“Well. Now it’s official. I’ll be your teacher at the academy for a week. Along with all your classmates. Which means you’ll be getting no special treatment from me. Even if you are my favorite.” 

She teased lightly, nudging his upper arm with her hip. This earned her an eye roll as a hint of blush graced the boys cheeks and she chuckled, leading into her own questions.

“So, you never told me about that boy, Naruto Uzumaki. Seems like he hates your guts. What’s that about?” 

Sasuke huffed, puffing his cheeks out for a moment and furrowing his brow. The cutest. 

“Well, didn’t think it was worth telling you. He’s a pest. All he does is yell and stare at me like that.” 

He responded, tone judgemental and resentful. She pulled a hand from her pocket, lightly smacking his arm, causing him to look up at her in disbelief.

“Hey, I typically don’t scold you for that brooding attitude of yours, but be nice to that boy. He’s had a hard time just like you have.” 

She reminded, pointing down at him as she scolded him half-heartedly. They didn’t discuss what had brought Sasuke into her care unless they hit on the topic accidentally in conversation. She still didn’t know how to approach it but she made sure he knew that he could always talk to her if he needed. It usually ended with a gentle kiss to the top of his head and a soft ‘I know.’ Then they would move on. Now she was blatantly reminding him of the incident. It felt a little intrusive but she wanted to get her point across.

Sasuke turned his face downwards to look at his feet, slightly embarrassed by her scolding. 

“Yeah, well… he doesn’t have to act so annoying.” 

He responded, but Atsuko still felt like she was getting through to him a little. So she continued.

“Naruto’s parents died when he was a baby. He never got to spend any time with them or make any good memories. He’s always been alone. I’m sure you’ve seen the way the people in the village treat him...?”

She questioned, and Sasuke gave a reluctant nod of his head, still not looking up from the ground. 

“That’s why he acts the way he does. No one has ever paid attention to him, so he wants to make sure people can’t ignore him... I call you badass for a reason, ya know. Top of your class, smart as hell. Other people notice it too. That’s why all the girls in class bother you. Why the teachers brag about you. You get that attention he doesn’t. And, to top it off, you seemingly blow him off at every turn. He wants your recognition more than anything because he admires you too. But you refuse to give him the time of day. So he’s decided he hates you.” 

There was a beat of silence as Sasuke kicked at a pebble. 

“Also consider that you’ve both lost people very dear to you. However, you had the opportunity to make memories and feel that love. Naruto didn’t. He truly had no one. Even now, while I’m nowhere near what you’ve lost, you have me. He doesn’t.” 

She advised, as gently as she could. It was a hard thing to hear, especially for a child. That tragedy could bond you to people quicker than any friendly words could be exchanged. She hated reminding him of what had happened, but she was sure he would never forget. So maybe it was better to talk about it then let him fester and try to figure it out on his own. 

“Do you see? You’re more similar than you know.” 

Sasuke huffed again at that, but didn’t protest. He turned his face back up, looking straight ahead.

“Yeah, well, he’s still annoying.” 

He grumbled, and Atsuko let out a dry chuckle. She reached a hand out to rub his back for a moment. 

“He is a little loud… but I think it’s fun.” 

She looked down at him with a wild grin, and he returned the expression with a glare of his own, but there was no real anger behind it. Dropping a kiss to his forehead, they turned to continue their walk. 

“Love ya, badass.” 

She told him, truly meaning the words deep in her heart. She thought she heard him mumble a reply, but didn’t push him. It didn’t matter what he said because it wouldn’t make her statement any less true. 

The rest of the walk was filled with idle chatter. Mostly about the upcoming genjutsu class and whether or not Atsuko would be providing Sasuke with a leg up by training him over the weekend. At first, she had refused. He was already ahead of his classmates and it wouldn’t be fair to give him another advantage. Eventually though, he wore her down. She supposed it didn’t matter since she would be training him anyway. And this upcoming class was solely to provide information and see if anyone showed promise.

As they approached home, she relented.

“Alright. I’ll show you some basic stuff in preparation. But don’t go showing off Monday.” 

She warned, and Sasuke nodded, a smirk on his face. 

“Yeah, yeah.” 

Came his response. She reached out to unlock the front door and the boy tilted his head slightly. 

“Did… we get a new front door?” 

He asked right as Atsuko pushed the door open. Her eyes widened and she gave a nervous laugh. 

“Uh, yeah. The old one was falling apart and the lock wasn’t working properly. So I had it replaced.” 

She responded, trying to remain nonchalant but she could feel Sasuke’s confused gaze on the side of her face. 

“Go put your bag down and we’ll head out back to start your training.” 

That seemed to be enough to divert his attention as he marched down the hall to his room. She sighed in relief, shutting the door behind her. But not before noticing a small slip of paper fluttering on the threshold. She knelt to pick up, realizing it was folded in half and addressed to her. 

Genma really needed a hobby. Or a different fuck buddy. She sighed as she opened it, only to realize it was definitely not Genma’s handwriting. 

‘Atsuko, 

I’m sorry for disappearing like that today. If you’re not upset, I would like to see you tonight. Only after you’ve put Sasuke to bed, of course. If this is alright, leave the note on your windowsill and I’ll stop by. 

-Kakashi

Atsuko found herself taken aback by the note. She was quite sure she’d never hear from Kakashi again. Yet, he had slipped a note under her door to request to see her again tonight. She’d get her chance to apologize. Without a second thought, she walked back to her bedroom and opened the window, gingerly placing the note on the outer windowsill and securing it in place by burying a kunai in the wood. She smiled to herself and shut the window, going to meet Sasuke in the hall. 

“Hey, c’mon, badass. Let’s get started.” 

She called, heading for the screen door in the kitchen that led to the backyard, the boy immediately following her.

The backyard of the home was enclosed by a privacy fence and surrounded with flowering plants of varying colors. Her personal favorites being the two rose bushes in the far, opposite corners. The center of the yard was nothing more than a large dirt oval with a few dummies and training posts in place. Her mother had made sure that Atsuko had a place to train that was all her own. She had never been able to follow her own dreams of becoming a Kionichi, having gotten pregnant at a young age. So she always supported Atsuko in her goals, living a little vicariously through her. When her mother passed away, she left the home to Atsuko. Little did she know that the training yard would get continual use over the years and that, soon, Atsuko would be training her own student here. Much like her mother had trained her. 

She smiled at the memory’s, leading Sasuke to the middle of the yard. They stood across from one another about ten feet apart, and Atsuko began to speak. 

“Okay. First things first. Are you aware of how genjutsu works?”

She asked Sasuke, arms crossed under her chest as she regarded him. He had been to several training sessions with Itachi, but she couldn’t recall if he’d been there for the basics. Additionally, Itachi had activated his Sharingan, so most of what she taught him came naturally. Sasuke had yet to do so, meaning she would really need to focus on the basics of chakra control first. 

Sasuke nodded, responding quickly and efficiently, like he was citing a textbook.

“Genjutsu is the manipulation of a person’s Chakra through their nervous system. It is used to affect the five senses and create illusions.” 

Her eyebrows raised in surprise. So young, yet he had given her a textbook definition of genjutsu. She smirked and nodded, 

“Alright, very good. In that case, what is the most important factor in imploring genjutsu?”

She challenged, and this question seemed to leave the boy stumped, his brow furrowed as he thought it over. Breaking his train of thought, she spoke up again.

“Chakra control is the key. Now, you’re young, but I recall that you have all but mastered a fire style jutsu. Demonstrate it for me please.” 

She stepped aside and then immediately followed it with,

“But, carefully please. I don’t want to burn the house down.” 

Sasuke nodded, widening his stance and facing in the direction of where Atsuko previously stood. He closed his eyes to focus and she watched as he moved to form the proper hand signs. Horse. Tiger. Serpent. Ram. Monkey. Boar. Horse. Tiger. He did it quickly, clearly having practiced. He then brought his curled pointer finger up to his lips and shouted. 

“Fire Style, Fireball Jutsu!”

Before blowing a steady stream of fire from his mouth that swelled into a ball, the size of which would have engulfed Atsuko whole if she’d stayed in her starting position, but not quite large enough to do much more than singe some of the plants on the other side of the yard. She squinted her eyes at the heat, nodding and waving at Sasuke to release. 

He lowered his hand and turned to her, a proud smile on his face that she returned.

“Very good, Sasuke. Certainly impressive for someone your age.” 

Sasuke smirked, hands back in his pockets as he gave a little shrug. 

“I can go bigger than that too.” 

He assured her, and she chuckled. 

“Well, let’s not test the limits of that jutsu here. Either way, there’s a reason I asked you to demonstrate that for me. It’s a perfect example of chakra control, as well as a change in chakra nature. In order for you to use that jutsu, you have to focus your chakra into your chest, then force it up and out of your mouth. You’ve managed this without even realizing the basics of chakra control.” 

She explained, moving back to her position in front of him, the ground beneath her feet now scorched black and still littered with some lit ash. She saw his face contort again, brows drawn together in concentration. He looked up at her, tilting his head to the side. 

“So… I understand I had to control my chakra to perform the jutsu. But what is a change in chakra nature?” 

He questioned, and Atsuko rubbed the back of her neck slightly. 

“Ah, honestly that’s a little advanced. For now, let’s just focus on chakra control, since a change in chakra nature isn’t really necessary for genjutsu.”

She replied and Sasuke rolled his eyes in response, folding his tiny arms over his chest. 

“Well, clearly, I’ve got that part down already.” 

Atsuko laughed, throwing her head back. This only earned her a scowl from the boy across from her. 

“Sasuke, listen. That fireball jutsu of yours is impressive. But like I said, you managed this without even realizing what you’re really doing. Watch.” 

She stated, leisurely walking over to the back wall of the house, her back to him. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure he was watching as she placed a foot on the wooden wall, followed by the other. Taking easy steps until she was halfway to the top of the building, standing horizontal. She turned around to look down at him, his eyebrows raised and arms hanging by his sides again as he craned his neck and approached her.

“How did you do that?” 

He questioned, peeking around her in search of strings or any other mechanic that may be keeping her in place. She barked out another laugh, turning around so her back was horizontal with the ground and then bending backwards at the waist until they were face to face, her hair swinging in the wind. She gave him a smile and reached out to pat the top of his head.

“Take a wild guess.”

She suggested, and after a moment more of stunned silence, Sasuke raised a brow, meeting her eyes.

“Chakra control?” 

He asked and she clicked her tongue, pointing at him as she sprung from the wall, flipping backwards over his head and landing behind him with ease.

“Attaboy. I focused my chakra into the bottoms of my feet. By keeping it there and maintaining a steady flow, I was able to walk up that wall.” 

Sasuke had turned, looking between her and the wall with a sparked curiosity. 

“Just like you focus your chakra into your chest to perform the fireball jutsu, you can send chakra to other parts of your body. I’m sure you've seen Shinobi run across water. That’s the same idea, though more difficult than working with a solid surface.” 

She finished, pushing some of her wild hair out of her face as she walked to lean against the wall, watching as his face morphed into one of determination. He looked at the wall like it was something to conquer, and a proud smile broke out on her face. 

“So, once you’ve got this basic move down, we can move on to the next stage.” 

She advised, causing Sasuke to whip his head around to look at her again, a challenging smirk on his face. He took a couple steps back, facing the wall, before taking off in a sprint. He managed to get two feet on the bottom of the wall before falling flat on his back in a cloud of dirt. 

Atsuko chuckled, reaching out a hand to help him to his feet. He accepted, dusting himself off as he stood. 

“You have to focus. Feel the way your chakra flows in your body. Then direct it to your feet.” 

She stated, and Sasuke huffed. 

“Easy for you to say. You’ve been doing this forever.” 

She reached a hand out to ruffle his hair, more dust flying as she did so. 

“Yes, but I also had to learn. It takes determination and time. Keep trying, and stay focused. And don’t feel bad when you fall on your ass, because it’s going to happen. A lot.” 

She encouraged, turning her back to head back inside through the sliding doors.

“Hey! Where are you going?” 

Sasuke called, and Atsuko smiled over her shoulder at him. 

“To make dinner. I’ve given you all the help I can. It’s up to you to make it work. I’ll leave the door open if you need anything.” 

She stated, strolling back inside to the kitchen, deciding to make something that would take a little time. 

—————————————————————-

Sasuke was outside for several hours, the evidence of his improvement coming in the form of the sounds of his feet pounding against the wall. At first, a couple taps followed by the thud of his body hitting the ground. She listened as he picked himself up, over and over again, grumbling under his breath all the while. Eventually though, there were more taps, and it took longer for the thud to come. During this time, Atsuko managed to shower and prepare dinner, listening intently to the repeated sounds with a smile on her face. 

He was still young. Most kids his age didn’t even have enough chakra to control. It would take him a while yet before he mastered this step, but she could tell he wouldn’t be giving up any time soon. She wondered what inspired him to continually try to be better. To get stronger. The word that rang in her head was Itachi. She remembered Sasuke from just a few years ago, tagging along with his older brother to training sessions. Watching in awe and, occasionally, trying to copy what Itachi was doing. Falling and hurting himself in the process several times, but always coming back for more. At the time, it was about moving out from under Itachi’s massive shadow. The boy was a genius and everyone was aware of it. He graduated from the academy, top of his class, at 7 years old. He was made an Anbu Captain by the time he was 13. Truly a force to be reckoned with. So, at first, Sasuke wanted to be recognized just like people recognized his older brother, his idol.

Then… the massacre. Itachi was no longer his idol, but the man who had taken everything from him. His family and friends and the only life he’d ever known. Now, it wasn’t just about catching up with Itachi. It was about surpassing him… she came to a slow realization that vengeance may be Sasuke’s end goal. He wanted to become strong enough to get revenge for his clan. He didn’t know the truth about what Itachi had done, she knew this was intentional on Itachi’s part. He wanted Sasuke to rebuild the Uchiha clan to its former glory. To make them a true ally of the Hidden Leaf and not sully his image of his heritage. He likely wanted Sasuke to surpass him, seek him out, and kill him as the ultimate penance for what he’d done. Otherwise, why not just take his own life? He did everything to inspire Sasuke to move forward.

The realization of this caused Atsuko’s throat to ache as she held back tears. All Itachi had sacrificed to keep the village and Sasuke safe. Then the thought of Sasuke, seething with rage and seeking revenge against the only family he had left. It was heart wrenching and terrifying. What was her role in all of this? Was she supposed to allow Sasuke to pursue Itachi, possibly at the cost of his own sanity? Was she supposed to stop him? She couldn’t imagine trying to convince him to move on when so much had been taken from him… it was all overwhelming. 

All she was capable of doing was taking things one day at a time. Impart a little wisdom on Sasuke, train him to the best of her abilities, and help him grow into the person he was supposed to be. She couldn’t tell him the truth, and she most certainly couldn’t try to deter him outright. Hopefully, raising him well with compassion and care would bring about a positive result. 

As she put the finishing touches on dinner, she poked her head outside, looking from side to side and smiling at the sight that greeted her. Sasuke was standing horizontal on the side of the house, only a few feet off the ground, legs shaking like a newborn foul. Her grin grew as they made eye contact, Sasuke’s own face returning an uneasy smile as he wavered slightly, arms outstretched to keep his balance. Atsuko couldn’t stop the pride that swelled in her heart if she wanted to. They stared at each other in stunned silence as it thrummed through her body, making her almost giddy. 

“Awesome!” 

She managed through a surprised chuckle, having to stop herself from wrapping him up in a hug and pulling him from the wall in the process. Sasuke returned with a chuckle of his own, before his eyes went wide and he lost his footing, falling to the ground on his side. A strained groan was forced from his body at the impact and Atsuko just giggled. Squatting down to where he lay, she wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug as she lifted him off the ground and onto his feet, giggling all the while as he struggled lightly in her grasp before giving up and moving his arms around her lightly in return. 

After swinging him from side to side, she released from her grasp and ruffled some more dirt from his hair.

“You’re doing great! That was really good and I did not expect for you to get that far this soon.” 

She exclaimed, grinning with her teeth, mouth slightly agape. 

Sasuke, covered in dirt and some forming bruises, scoffed at her excitement. But he couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks at her praise as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Thanks, Atsuko-sensei.” 

He responded, voice a little strained from the effort of hours of hard work. Atsuko, grin never faltering, squatted to be eye level with him and whispered, teasingly.

“Ya know, no ones around. You can be excited about your accomplishment. I won’t judge.” 

Sasuke lifted his head, looking around to confirm that there was indeed no one to witness, before his gaze landed in her shining face. A smile broke across his features and he brought his hand up for a high five, which Atsuko happily granted.

“Okay, yeah, it was pretty cool.” 

He admitted, his smile growing wider by the second and a twinge of a giddy lilt in his voice. Atsuko returned to full height, pulling him to her side with an arm on his shoulders.

“Hell yeah it was! And you’ll only get better tomorrow. Now, cmon, dinner’s done.”

She replied, still grinning wildly as she led him inside.

—————————————————————-

After dinner, Sasuke bathed and Atsuko applied some ointment to the forming bruises on his back, arms, legs, and face. She tucked him into bed with his typical cup of tea, sitting on the edge of his bed momentarily, she gave him a soft smile. 

“Seriously, Sasuke, you did great today. If you want tomorrow we can head out to the training grounds and try what you’ve learned there. A large tree will give you more room to maneuver.” 

She suggested, and Sasuke nodded in return, moving to lay back on his pillow, head turned to look at her as she spoke. 

“Well, then it’s decided. We’ll make a day of it. I’ll pack a picnic.” 

She said, smiling as she lightly patted his head, moving in position to place him under the typical genjutsu. Just as she was about to move her chakra to put him to sleep, Sasuke spoke up in a small voice.

“Atsuko-sensei…” 

And she removed her hand from his forehead immediately, tilting her head to the side to look down at him with curiosity. His big, dark, eyes turned away from her gaze, looking down at the edge of his blanket nervously. 

“Thank you. For helping me.” 

Was all he said. She quickly realized he meant so much more than just those 5 words. She smiled, blinking slowly to dispel the tears that the rare tender moment had suddenly brought upon her. 

She leaned down, kissing his forehead and pulling back up.

“You don’t have to thank me, Sasuke. I meant what I said earlier. I do love you, ya know. I want to see you succeed in everything you do, and I’ll be here to support you as long as you need or want me to.” 

She responded quietly, watching as his lips upturned into a small smile. She smoothed his hair back from his forehead in a gentle motion.

“Oh, and I’ve been meaning to tell you… if you don’t like me being affectionate or kissing your forehead, just let me know and I’ll stop.” 

Sasuke shook his head almost immediately, finally looking back up at her face. 

“No. It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

He responded and she smiled, hand back on his forehead to prepare him for sleep. 

“Well, good, because you’re just too cute.” 

She teased, and he groaned, face scrunching up in embarrassment, causing her to laugh low in her throat. 

“Alright, get some sleep.” 

Was the last thing she said before placing him in his dreamworld. When she was convinced he was asleep, she exited the bedroom quietly. Crossing the hall to her own room, her heart full, she pushed the door and almost screamed in shock as it swung open. She was met with the shadow of a man sitting on her windowsill. She jumped almost a foot in the air, moving backwards, her eyes wide in shock as she gasped. 

Kakashi jerked his head from his book, eyes widening at the gasp before relaxing with a chuckle when he saw her.

“It’s me.” 

He called to her in the hall, and watched as she visibly relaxed and let out a sigh of relief. Reaching into the room and flicking the lights on quickly, glaring at him as she entered the room and shut the door behind her. 

“Well, you almost gave me a fucking heart attack.” 

She hissed, crossing the room to where he was, sitting in her open window, legs swinging inside the room. He chuckled again, plucking the kunai she’d pinned the note with earlier from the wood next to him and handing it to her.

“I guess you forgot I was stopping by.” 

He responded, a smile still present even beneath his mask. Atsuko reached out and took the kunai from him, taking a seat in the center of her bed, legs crossed. 

“I didn’t forget. It has been a busy few hours. Why not just knock? I do have a fancy new front door that needs breaking in.” 

She stated, looking up at him with a slight smirk, twirling the kunai between her fingers absentmindedly. Kakashi fully shut the book in his hand, setting it down next to him as a mild breeze blew through the open window. He shrugged, responding nonchalantly.

“Figured this was more exciting.” 

Atsuko chuckled, looking down at her lap sheepishly. 

“Yeah, exciting’s the right word.” 

Then, there was a lull of silence as she picked at her cotton knitted blanket with the blade. After the initial shock of seeing him, she realized what had to be done now that he was here. Bringing up what she’d said and apologizing for her absolute disregard for his feelings earlier. The words sat heavy in her throat and she swallowed hard before turning back up to look at him. 

“Kakashi… I’m sorry for earlier. I was totally out of line.” 

She spoke up, tone sincere and full of regret. Kakashi let out a soft sigh, dropping down from the window and coming to sit on the edge of her bed before lying back to stare up at the ceiling. She peered down at him and, despite the seriousness of the situation, her heart swelled at the sight of him lounging in her bed. 

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t have run off like that… what you said… you were right.” 

He responded, voice still soft and even as ever. He rolled his head to the side to make eye contact with her and Atsuko immediately shook her head without breaking it.

“It doesn’t matter if I was right or not. I spoke without considering your feelings at all.”

Kakashi scoffed at that, a little humor in his voice as he replied,

“Well, it sounded like you had considered my feelings quite deeply.” 

Atsuko sighed, moving to lie next to him, staring up at the ceiling as well. 

“I… I shouldn’t have said what I said. Speculating about your private internal life was wrong. Those things are private for a reason and I feel like I violated you in a way.”

She responded, hands folded on her stomach as they laid in silence for a few moments, their breathing falling in sync. Just as Atsuko was worried he wouldn’t respond, she felt him shift slightly, and then his hand was on top of hers, peeling her intertwined fingers apart to lace them with his own. Her eyes went wide at the contact and she rolled her head to the side to face him, only to find him already staring at her, their noses a couple inches apart.

“Kakashi…” 

She started, and he shook his head a little, stopping her from speaking.

“Let me talk for once.” 

He said, smiling as he teased her. She let out an embarrassed chuckle before he continued.

“What you said today was true. I keep people distant because I’m afraid of losing or... hurting them. I’m sure you know what they call me. What I’ve done. Or at least part of it.” 

The words rang in her head of their own accord. Friend Killer Kakashi. She swallowed the nervous lump in her throat and nodded. He turned his head back towards the ceiling, not releasing her hand.

“That will follow me for the rest of my life. Even if people stop calling me that, it doesn’t make it any less true… but when I’m with you… even though it’s only been a short time, I feel welcome. You see me for who I am. The good and the bad. Even pick it apart verbally on a busy street in the middle of the day.” 

He chuckled at that, turning to look at her again.

“I’m not very good at this… what I’m trying to say is I actually appreciate what you said today. Taking the time to see me, deeper than surface level and looking past what you’ve probably heard about me… it means a lot to me and I’d like to see where this-“

He gestured between them with his free hand,

“Takes us. If you’d also like to explore that, of course?” 

It was a question, Atsuko realized. But she couldn’t bring herself to respond. She just laid there, staring at him in stunned silence. She had picked apart his personality and defects like she was dissecting a test subject. Then he shows up to her house and tells her he appreciated it? That he wants to pursue a… relationship with her? She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. In between her thoughts, or rather lack thereof, she noticed he was clamming up. His fingers started to remove themselves from hers and she squeezed to stop him from leaving. She looked up to meet his gaze, her face still slightly stunned.

“I would love to explore that.”

She managed, and she noticed he let out a breath he had been holding, a smile clear under his mask. 

“Good… now I think you asked a favor of me earlier today. I plan to fulfill that request.” 

He stated, reaching up to lower his mask slowly with his free hand. Atsuko had to stop the gasp that threatened to break free from her lips as she watched. It was like he was moving in slow motion and every square inch of skin he exposed was a revelation for her. By the time the mask was bunched up around his neck, her heart was hammering in her chest. She could hear her own heavy pulse in her ears. Just as she’d suspected, he was gorgeous. High cheekbones and a pointed nose, his skin smooth and pale with a little mole under his mouth. Oh… his mouth. She suddenly remembered what she’d requested of him earlier in the day. 

Before she could think about much else, Kakashi pulled his hand from hers. He reached across her, shifting to his side slightly, and ran his hand up the length of her body. Starting at her hip and moving upward to the dip of her waist, then crawling up her arm, leaving goosebumps in his wake. It finally came to a stop at the base of her head, tangling in the hair there, he pulled her forward and then closed the gap, pressing his mouth to hers.

Their lips fit perfectly together, was Atsuko’s first thought. Like his lips were made specifically to slot against hers. Atsuko was so stunned by the feeling of his soft lips against her, she forgot to respond. Kakashi started to pull back after realizing this. The thought of losing the sensation of his mouth against her made her panic and her hand shot up between their bodies to grip the bunched fabric of his mask, pulling him back in. This time, she allowed her eyes to flutter shut as they kissed. Kakashi gladly returned the kiss, moving to lean over her fully. His movements against her lips were slow and they left her mouth burning with tension as she strained to maintain his languid pace. As if sensing her tension, Kakashi nipped at her lower lip with his teeth. Atsuko obeyed the command immediately, opening her mouth and allowing him access. All her apprehension, if she had any to begin with, evaporated in an instant as his tongue entered her mouth, moving like he was trying to memorize every part of it. 

She gasped into his mouth at the feeling, her grip on his clothing tightening as she pulled him closer. She felt him smirk against her, tightening his own grip in her hair and making her gasp again. They laid like this for some time, tongues wrestling for dominance as the heated make out session came to a head. Eventually, it was so much, Atsuko felt like she might faint. She pulled back, gasping for air and opened her eyes to see him staring back at her, headband pushed up to his forehead allowing her to see both of his eyes. The deep dark one and the Sharingan. She found herself mesmerized immediately. He smiled at her dumbfounded expression as they both worked on catching their breath.

After a few beats of silence, Kakashi was the first to speak. 

“So… did that meet your expectations?” 

Atsuko only laughed breathlessly in response, dropping her head to bury it against his chest as a hot blush covered her face, her response coming out muffled. 

“And then some.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this met YOUR expectations ;) some Sasuke fluff and Kakashi surprises our dear OC. See ya in the next chapter!


	7. A Change in Events and an Unexpected Confidant

Kakashi ended up leaving shortly after their kiss, promising he’d be back the following night and leaving Atsuko with an empty bed and a stomach full of butterflies. The excitement of his visit, the kiss, and the notion of what was to come made sure that Atsuko tossed and turned the whole night. She’d never felt like this before. All her other conquests were just that. An obstacle to overcome, a competition against other women, or just to satiate her own curiosity. In her line of work, men were replaceable and she only ever viewed them as a pass time or a means to an end. Hook up, get it out of her system, move on to the next mission. 

However, her life had changed drastically in the past few months. She was a caretaker and there wasn’t another mission to look forward to. So, maybe, the change had softened her and she found she quite liked domesticity and knowing who was going to be in her bed at night. Maybe Kakashi was just… different. He was so emotionally guarded that she felt special when she got to be near him. When he willingly let her in, it felt like being the only person in a museum full of priceless art. Marble floors echoing back the sounds of her footsteps, soft lights and silence as she stared, transfixed, by a painting that pulled emotions from her she didn’t even realize lived within her. Deep down, she knew she’d only scratched his surface. He wore that sorrow like a scarlet letter. A big warning label that told people to stay away, or else. Even that was planned. Turn that inner pain outward like quills on a porcupine. Atsuko found herself wondering what she would find after she navigated between those spikes… what would lie underneath? 

Eventually, she managed to doze off a couple hours before sunrise, nerves still thrumming slightly. It was short lived as the sun began to peak through the blinds, a ray managing to shine right onto her closed eyelids. She groaned, tossing and turning in an attempt to askew the intruding light. Finally rolling to her side and facing her door, she found some relief. That was until there was a tentative knock on her door. Sasuke. She sighed, eyes opening a sliver. 

“Come in.” 

She called, watching as the doorknob turned and the boy walked in, barefoot and still in his pajamas. She raised an eyebrow at him. Sasuke was an early riser, but he’d never come knocking on her door like this in the morning. She propped herself up on her elbow as she regarded him. He seemed okay. Not scared or sad, just a little nervous.

“What’s up, badass? You okay?” 

She questioned, voice a little gravely as she blinked the sleep from her eyes. Sasuke looked around her room, assessing with those big, dark, eyes before he spoke, clearly having just woken up himself.

“I-uhhh… just my room is cold. I can’t sleep…”

He managed out, causing Atsuko to look at him in confusion for a moment. The genjutsu should have kept him asleep… but then again it wasn’t as strong when she herself was sleeping and the weather was starting to change to the colder season. She just nodded, scooting back to the other side of the bed and patting the spot she had previously occupied. 

“Just c’mere for now. We’ll get you a heater today.” 

She replied, watching as Sasuke looked around the room once more before nodding in return and climbing up into the bed with her. The bed was large enough for them to lay with about a foot between them. She reached down to pull the warm blanket over the boy as he laid on his back, then snuggled down into her own pillow and let her eyes fall shut.

It was a little strange. Sasuke definitely was not the lovey needy type of child. Nonetheless, he was still a child. And sometimes they just needed warmth and a familiar presence. With him being this close, she went to reach out and place a hand on his forehead. A tiny hand grabbed her wrist before she could make contact and she opened one of her eyes to see Sasuke looking at her and shaking his head.

“I don’t need that.” 

He stated, and she watched him for a second, looking for any sign of hesitation. He returned her skeptical look with one of determination. She shrugged as much as she could in this position and pulled her arm back to her side of the bed. 

“Okay. Let’s try and get a couple more hours of sleep.”

She responded, eyes already closed as she began to drift off. 

They did sleep like this for a couple more hours, until the sun started to heat Atsuko’s room an uncomfortable amount. Her eyes peeled open, facing her window, and she sat up, not feeling nearly as rested as she would’ve hoped but realizing she’d rather die than lay in this bed another moment. As she got her bearings, she realized Sasuke was still laying next to her. Her eyes widened a little. In her groggy state this morning, she’d forgotten about the boy in her bed. He was sleeping soundly, curled into a ball on his side, facing where her back had previously been. Then she remembered… he didn't want her to use genjutsu. And she hadn’t. Yet, here he was, sleeping as soundly as if she’d put him under it. She smiled to herself, heart swelling in her chest so rapidly she felt like she might burst. 

She reached out a tentative hand, smoothing back some of his silky hair from his face. This gesture caused the boy to stir slightly, his eyes opening slowly as he took in his surroundings and blinked up at her. 

“Hey, morning. I’m gonna make breakfast but you’re welcome to sleep a little more if you need.” 

She said quietly, looking down at the boy with nothing but love as she smiled. Sasuke grumbled something and flopped over onto his stomach, burying his head in the pillow and seemingly content with getting a little more time to sleep. She slid off the edge of the bed and began her morning routine as she mulled over the big change. The boy hadn’t been able to sleep without having nightmares unless she used her genjutsu in months. And this morning he crawls into bed with her and sleeps like there’s no issue? Maybe his training the day before had worn him out so much that he didn’t even have the energy to dream. Or maybe he found solace in making physical progress during training and that allowed him to relax. Or he slept easier with her there beside him… in any case, she would ask him when he got up. 

She moved around the house quietly so as not to disturb Sasuke. After cleaning off and washing her face, she pulled on her typical mesh top and the too big, black, overalls. Something that allowed her to move freely. Just as she was about to break out the pots and pans for breakfast, there was a knock at her front door. She went to answer, pulling it open only to find Yamato on her porch, two coffees in one hand and a box of breakfast pastries in the other. He smiled at her, almond eyes scrunched shut in the grin. 

“Morning.”

He greeted and Atsuko smiled gratefully, standing aside to let him in.

“Good morning, Yamato. Did you bring me and Sasuke breakfast?” 

She asked, poking his side and chuckling when he flinched slightly, almost dropping the drinks and food. 

“Hey! Don’t poke me like that or you’ll be licking your breakfast off the floor.” 

He scolded, causing Atsuko to chuckle, taking the box and one of the coffee’s from his hand, setting them on the kitchen table. 

“Okay okay, fair enough. Now, shhh, Sasuke is still sleeping.” 

She returned as they both went to sit at the table, sitting next to each other as they divided up the goods in silence.

“Thank you, Yamato. This is very thoughtful of you.” 

She praised, tearing a piece off of the pastry in front of her and popping it into her mouth. Yamato had removed the plastic lid from his coffee and was blowing over the top of the cup when he shrugged. 

“It’s no issue. I wanted to stop by and see how your walk home with Kakashi went. Hope he didn’t piss you off or say something rude.”

He responded, finally content with the coffee’s temperature and taking a sip. Atsuko shook her head with a chuckle, it was actually the other way around.

“No, he was a perfect gentleman.” 

She replied, a hint of sticky sap in her voice and smile. She didn’t notice Yamato’s slight grimace at her words, but she did notice his change in subject. 

“Did you get a new front door?” 

—————————————————————

After Atsuko filled Yamato in on what all had happened in the past couple days, he sat in silence for a moment, mulling it over. Two days. Two days was all it took for Kakashi to win her over. The thought left him a little sick to his stomach, a bitter taste in his mouth. He worked against it, though. It wasn’t fair to Atsuko. Now Kakashi on the other hand… Still, he would talk to the man later. For now, he opted to focus on other parts of her story.

“So, you’ve been using genjutsu to help Sasuke sleep?” 

He asked, and Atsuko nodded, sipping her coffee slowly before pulling it away from her lips to respond.

“Yes… I know it wasn’t right to not tell him. I just didn’t want him to think he had to depend on me. We discussed it and he seemed to take it surprisingly well. But like I said, this morning, I haven’t put him under at all. And he’s sleeping just fine.” 

She responded, starting off a little solemn but perking up by the end of her sentence. A smile grew on her face at the memory of seeing him this morning, so small in her large bed as he slept peacefully. It seemed like every day was a step in the right direction. 

“That’s awesome… and I know you must be grateful. Keeping up that steady chakra flow all night, while you slept. It couldn’t have been easy.” 

Yamato said, a hint of concern in his voice as his brow furrowed. Atsuko let out a gentle sigh and shrugged. 

“It’s not so bad. I mean, I wake up a lot at night and can’t seem to get back to sleep… but I’ll live. I just want to make sure he’s happy, ya know?” 

She responded, no resentment to be heard. That was part of raising a child. Acts of selflessness and expecting nothing in return other than Sasuke’s comfort. 

Yamato stared at her for a moment, truly unable to believe that it was possible to love her any more than he already did. Yet, here he was. Chest aching at the thought of her comforting Sasuke to sleep, and then hiding her own dark circles with a brave face every morning. Atsuko turned her head slightly to look at him, making eye contact as she realized he’d been staring at the side of her head. She gave him a soft smile. 

“You’re staring, Tenzo.” 

She said, almost a whisper. The sound of that name rolling off her lips made his mouth go dry and he had to swallow, hard, to remove the lump in his throat as his eyes diverted back down to look at his coffee.

“Sorry. That’s just a very kind thing for you to do. And it’s Yamato now.” 

He corrected, voice a tad off kilter. Now it was Atsuko’s turn to stare. Yamato, Tenzo. It didn’t matter. He was her best friend and would be for the rest of her life if she had anything to say about it. But she was starting to see things a little differently now. The way he clammed up and was visibly uncomfortable when she talked about Kakashi. The way he stared at her like he couldn’t believe she was sitting there right next to him. How he reserved that soft voice for her. Even before Sasuke, she realized it had been like this. Saving each other’s asses time and time again. Her crying in his arms after a particularly straining mission. The utter devastation he showed when she was hurt or in danger. Was it possible that… he loved her? More than a close friend… was he in love with her?

She’d be lying if she said the thought didn’t make her heart race. Immediately, she was flooded with flashes of memories. Like her brain had locked them away and realizing that Yamato was in love with her was the key to opening that file. The first one, they were drunk and huddled in the corner at a party, dim lights overhead bathing them in shadows. Yamato’s large frame pressed against her side as he whispered in her ear, some stupid joke that made her giggle incessantly. The smell of the liquor on his breath and warmth he provided enveloping her whole, pulling her into something akin to nirvana. 

Another time, on a mission, where she’d barely made it out of a fight against a rogue Shinobi from the sand village. Her left leg and ribs were broken in several places. This one was a little hazier, but she remembered the way Yamato screamed her name as she fell unconscious, barely registering that he had caught her before she could hit the unforgiving ground. Only to wake up a little while later, being cradled in his arms as he and the other Jonin and Anbu on their team rushed through the trees. He looked down at her every few seconds, panic clear on his face. Despite the pain, she remembered being enveloped in that warmth again. Like no harm would come to her as long as she stayed right there in his arms. God, had she really pushed all of these events-

“Atsuko, now you’re staring.” 

Her thoughts were interrupted by Yamato, who had turned his face back up to meet her eyes. She blinked a couple times, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. 

“Uh, sorry. You have a crumb on your cheek.” 

She covered, reaching out to wipe it off with her thumb. When her finger tips made contact with his cheek, his hand shot up, grabbing her wrist to prevent her from pulling back. They stayed like this for a moment, the air between them growing thick as molasses as they both held their breath, waiting for the other to make a move. Time seemed to stand still as Atsuko stared into Yamato’s dark eyes, unable to even read the expression on his face as the pounding of her heart in her ears seemed to drown out all of her other senses. Before she even had time to process everything, Yamato was pulling her closer. He’d placed her hand, open palmed, on his cheek and his own began crawling up the underside of her arm. Hot, calloused fingers leaving warm trails as the hand moved to ghost down her body and rest on her waist. He leaned his face into her touch, sighing as his eyes drifted closed. Atsuko’s body was moving of its own accord now, slowly closing the gap between them. 

The tension broke with an unsatisfying snap as they heard a small throat clear from behind them. Atsuko snapped her head around to find Sasuke standing at the entrance of the kitchen, looking at them with a judging expression. She jerked her body away from Yamato, turning in her seat and giving Sasuke an embarrassed smile as she immediately tried to salvage the situation. 

“Morning, badass… you remember Yamato from the other day, right? He brought breakfast.” 

She said, clearly rattled as her voice pitched up several octaves. She gestured to the pastry box on the table and Sasuke slowly approached, peering up into the box and selecting one before taking a bite and nodding. 

“Thanks.” 

Came his reply before he turned to look at Atsuko, eyes squinting slightly as if he was trying to figure out what had been happening before he entered. 

“Are we still going to the training grounds?” 

He asked, and Atsuko nodded immediately, thankful for something else to talk about.

“You bet. As soon as you get dressed we can head out.” 

And with that, Sasuke was already shambling back to his room to change for the day. When she heard his bedroom door shut, she let out a deep sigh, dropping her head into her hands and groaning softly. 

“Fuck…” 

She mumbled to herself. Yamato also visibly deflated when the bedroom door latched closed. The tension had come crashing down so quickly, his heart had a hard time slowly back to normal, fluttering occasionally as it worked things out. 

Atsuko’s mind was racing. This could not be happening. Just as she thought things with Kakashi were taking off, all these feelings she had never considered before were bubbling to the surface. She wanted to snap at Yamato, kick him out, tease him. Anything that covered up how she truly felt. But god the way he had nuzzled into her hand… the way his hand had felt traveling up her arm and gripping her waist. It made her heart do backflips in her chest and her face grow warm. Still… she couldn’t… she needed to think and the feeling of him staring at her back and the nervous energy he was radiating was too much.

“I… Tenzo…” 

She heard him audibly swallow at the sound of what she considered to be his true name.

“I’m sorry, thank you for breakfast, and I’ll pay you back... but you should go.” 

She all but whispered, still not pulling her face from her hands. 

“Atsuko I’m sorr-“

He started and she finally snapped her head up to look at him. The sight nearly broke her heart. He was wide eyed, and leaning out to touch her, but his hand was trembling slightly with the effort of holding back. She sighed again, squeezing her eyes shut and rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger, sinking back into her chair.

“It’s okay… I just need some time.” 

There was some silence before she heard his hand drop and the chair scoot across the floor. A little light shuffling and when she opened her eyes, Yamato was gone. 

—————————————————————

When Sasuke came out of his room from getting dressed, Atsuko was already standing and preparing a couple sandwiches for their picnic. She glanced over at him and gave him a weary smile as he came to sit and wait at the kitchen table. 

“Heya. You get enough sleep?” 

She asked, and Sasuke nodded, shifting slightly in his chair. 

“Yeah…” 

There was a beat of silence as Atsuko wrapped one of the sandwiches and placed it in a large lunchbox. She gave a hum of approval, Sasuke cutting her off before she could ask another question. 

“So that Yamato guy. Is he like your boyfriend or something?” 

He asked, trying his hardest to sound huffy and apathetic, but the curiosity in his voice was clear. Atsuko stiffened a little at the question, swallowing hard and shaking her head quickly, but not daring to look at the boy as he stared at her back.

“No, Yamato is not my boyfriend. We’re just friends.” 

She defended and Sasuke scoffed. Without looking at him she could tell he had that little know it all smirk on his face, his arms folded across his chest. 

“Didn’t look like you were just friends…” 

He returned, smug and teasing. He expected her to fire back something just as teasing at him, but instead she whipped around, pointing at him with the butter knife in her hand and anger etched into her normally calm features. 

“Drop it.” 

She snapped, before turning her back to him again and finishing the second sandwich hurriedly, agitation clear in every movement. Sasuke just stared at her, wide eyed and shocked. It wasn’t much, but she’d never really snapped at him like that. 

A long silence followed, only filled by the sound of Atsuko slamming cabinets and tossing dishes into the sink haphazardly. She knew it was wrong to take out her frustration on Sasuke. Everything just felt like too much. She couldn’t rightfully complain to Sasuke about her relationship problems. He was a child. But now, who the hell was she supposed to turn to. The guy she was kind of seeing but not really had visited her last night and told her was interested in seeing more of her. Then her best friend, who also happened to be the other guy's comrade and friend, was in love with her. She couldn’t talk to one about the other… and Yamato really was her closest and only friend. 

She let out a soft sigh, turning to face Sasuke again who was stuck somewhere between angry and confused, looking down at his lap. 

“Hey, badass…” 

She said softly, looking down at him a tired expression. He looked up at her cautiously, like he was ready to be scolded again and he was hardening himself. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. The truth is, things are kind of complicated right now. I’m uncertain, and I don’t like feeling that way. So I took it out on you and that was wrong.” 

She said, moving to sit on the table next to his seat. Sasuke responded in kind with a subtle nod, face softening a little. She leaned down, kissing the top of his head. 

“That’s your first lesson of the day. Reading people is very important when it comes to genjutsu. If you can discern your enemies emotions or motivations based on how they act, your genjutsu can target those weaknesses and it gives you the upper hand. Lesson one in reading people, anger is a secondary emotion. I’m confused and your question just made that all the more obvious. So I reacted in anger. That’s surface level.”

She stated, and this seemed to catch Sasuke’s attention, furrowing his brow as he turned this over in his head. She slid off the table to return to her food, packing it all up. 

“Now it’s my turn to put you on the hot seat. Why didn’t you need my genjutsu this morning?” 

She asked, setting the lunch box on the table and raising an eyebrow at him. He blushed slightly, looking at her wide eyed for a moment before turning his gaze to his lap. 

“I really only came because I was cold… but then I thought I wouldn’t have a nightmare if I was in there with you.” 

Atsuko’s own eyes widened a bit at that. It was definitely not the response she was thinking she’d get. The strange part was he was right. He hadn’t had a nightmare while sleeping in her bed. It was hard for her. Sometimes he seemed so grown and strong, like when he was training yesterday. Then times like this, or when she tucked him into bed at night, she was reminded that he was still a child. Only 7 years old. All children that age crawled into bed with their parents when they had nightmares… After the initial shock wore off, she gave him a slight smile. 

“Well, I suppose it’s a step in the right direction. I know you don’t like me using that genjutsu…” 

She said, and he looked back up at her, shocked he’d been figured out.

“Oh, don’t give me that look. Of course you don’t really like it. And I understand why… so if you would rather sleep with me, I don’t mind. But eventually, we will have to try and transition back to your own room, okay?” 

She finished, hand resting on top of his head as he looked up at her, a little embarrassment in his eyes.

“You don’t have to tell me now. You just decide what you want to do and we’ll go from there, alright?” 

This earned her a nod from the boy, who slid off his chair and grabbed the lunch box from the table as he followed her to the door. 

“Okay. Thank you Atsuko-sensei.” 

He responded as they headed outside. She smiled down at him, unable to stop herself from ruffling his hair again.

“Of course. Now c’mon. Training time.” 

—————————————————————

Atsuko and Sasuke made it to the training ground in record time, the boy kept a brisk pace with his head held high. As they arrived at a clearing that wasn’t in use, Atsuko assessed their surroundings. The clearing was a patch of grass with some targets nailed to trees and a few wooden posts in the center. She found a tree on the edge of the clearing, tall and sturdy with no targets pinned to it. She pointed to it, 

“That one. Remember what we talked about yesterday. Focus your chakra. And be careful. Don’t overextend yourself to get higher up just to come crashing to the ground. I don’t want you breaking any bones.” 

She advised, sitting their lunch box down next to one of the wooden posts, leaning against it as she watched Sasuke regard the tree. His head craned back to look at the top of it for a moment, wavering only slightly before visibly swallowing and giving a nod of confirmation. He pulled a kunai from his pouch and took a few steps back, getting to work. The first time he made it about 6 feet off the ground, reaching out and gouging the tree with his blade to mark progress. He jumped off the tree when it felt like he was slipping, landing on his feet with a satisfied smirk. 

Atsuko smiled at the display. It seemed like he had this covered, so she figured she’d get some of her own training in. Even if she wasn’t going on missions, no sense in going soft. Practicing Genjutsu was a little difficult without a partner, as was sparing. She groaned internally as she mulled it over. If Yamato hadn’t… whatever. She steeled herself. No sense in fretting over the past, she would just have to work with what she had. Pulling several kunai from her pocket, she flung them towards a target nailed to a tree directly to the left of her head without looking. She heard them sink and turned to see all 5 knives had struck the bullseye. Another sigh. Her long range didn’t necessarily need work. It was more so her taijutsu she could use help with. 

As if god herself had decided to send her a gift, she heard a rustling towards the back of the clearing. She jerked around to see who it was, listening as Sasuke’s feet landed against the trunk of the tree repeatedly, and then the skid of his shoes against the bark as he came back down. Through the trees she could make out a a blur of orange and… a green tracksuit. Her eyes went wide and just as she realized who it was, he broke through the woods and into the clearing, eyes locked on her with a challenging grin.

“Atsuko!” 

Gai called, voice loud and booming as he pointed at her with a showy wink. The sound of his voice was so loud she barely registered the sound of Sasuke gasping lightly in surprise and the thud of him hitting the ground behind her. She was grinning, turning her head to make sure Sasuke was okay, but he was already sitting up and dusting himself off so she turned back to the man approaching her. 

“Gai!” 

She shouted with just as much volume, pointing back with a wild grin. He crossed the field to her, just to grab her shoulders roughly and pull her into the tightest hug she’d ever had the pleasure of being crushed in. She giggled, unable to wrap her arms around the man with the grip he had her in. He finally pulled back, hands still gripping her shoulders and still beaming.

“How are you? It’s been too long!” 

He exclaimed and Atsuko turned her head up to look at him. Bowl hair cut and jaw chiseled from stone, insanely large eyebrows and the most blinding smile she’d ever seen. So goofy yet so ridiculously charming she couldn’t help the giggles that continued to bubble from her chest. 

“I’m doing well, Gai. How are you?” 

She asked, tilting her head to the side as the smile never left her face, straining the muscles in her cheeks. 

“I am glad to hear it, Atsuko. I am doing well also! Are you here to train?” 

He questioned, and she nodded, his hands dropping from her shoulders as she turned around to look at where Sasuke stood, seemingly aggravated by the interruption and still dusting dirt from himself. He looked up at Gai over her shoulder, an eyebrow raised. 

“Yes, we came to train. Might Gai, this is Sasuke Uchiha.” 

She introduced, not having to look at Gai to know his eyes had gone a little wide at the introduction. Uchiha. Still, she felt him push past her to approach the boy, that blinding grin making a full appearance as he stretched his hand out to the boy. 

“It is nice to meet you, young Sasuke!” 

He barked, and Sasuke peered around him to give Atsuko a questioning look. She returned it with narrowed eyes and nod of her head towards the man. Sasuke rolled his eyes but brought his hand up to shake Gai’s anyway. 

“Thanks… you too.” 

He grumbled, and Atsuko let out a mild sigh of relief. 

“Sasuke is learning chakra control, isn’t that right?” 

She said, and Sasuke nodded as Gai stepped back so he could regard both of them. He quirked a brow at Atsuko.

“Chakra control?” 

He questioned, and Atsuko knew what he was thinking immediately. Most children Sasuke’s age didn’t even have enough chakra to control. But she nodded confidently. 

“Yes. Show him, Sasuke.” 

She encouraged, and the boy gave a single nod before turning to face the tree again. His face turned to one of focus and he ran at the tree, feet climbing the trunk easily at first and then a little shakier by the time he got to the 9 foot mark. He stopped, quickly slashing his kunai out to mark progress, then managed to stay standing for about 10 more seconds before running back down. 

Atsuko beamed proudly at Sasuke, who returned her smile with a smirk of his own. She turned to look at Gai, who seemed truly impressed and… oh god was he going to cry? 

“That was incredible, young Sasuke! The power of youth surely flows through you!” 

He proclaimed, fist in the air as the passion seemingly worked him over. Sasuke looked at Atsuko with wide eyes, confused and unsure of how to respond. She returned his dumbfounded look with a chuckle, hand coming up to rub the back of her neck. 

“He’s making great progress.” She spoke up, directing her words at Gai now. 

“And actually, Gai, you showing up here is like divine intervention. I was just thinking that I could use some work on my Taijutsu.” 

This seemed to pull his attention from Sasuke, turning to look at her with that same undefeated smile, giving her a thumbs up. 

“Well, then it is surely no coincidence that I arrived when I did! It’s been a long time since I had the pleasure of sparring with you!”

He responded, and Atsuko chuckled, remembering the last time they had trained together well. If she recalled correctly, it had ended in a lot of property damage to the training grounds. Both of them were so competitive neither wanted to throw in the towel, but they were meeting each other blow for blow. Granted, Gai had the upper hand physically for sure, but she managed to keep him on the ropes with genjutsu and other tricky tactics. Just barely. Eventually, Kurenai stepped in and made them put a stop to it when they were both near chakra depletion and laying in a massive ditch of Gai’s creation. 

She chuckled at the memory, moving to tie her hair back in a loose bun.

“Well, maybe we don’t get so carried away this time. Take solace in the fact that you definitely would have won that one had it been a real fight and you started opening the gates.” 

She admitted, though a little ruefully. She knew she was strong. Strong enough to be named Jonin. But part of what made her strong was knowing when she was outclassed. She’d witnessed Gai open the inner gates before in battle and it was honestly terrifying. His speed and strength were unlike anything she’d ever seen. The thought of being on the receiving end of something that powerful, it made her shudder internally.

Gai barked out a laugh, clapping his hand down on her shoulder again. 

“I am sure you would have found some way to persevere, Atsuko! You are quite crafty!” 

He complimented, and his words genuinely did make Atsuko smile, thanking him with a nod. She turned back to Sasuke,

“I’m gonna go train some with Gai. You keep practicing. If you need anything we’ll be right over there. Lunch at 1.” 

She advised, and Sasuke gave a nod, turning back to the tree to run up it again. 

As she and Gai moved to the other side of the clearing, he asked cautiously. 

“So, the young Uchiha boy. You are training him?” 

And Atsuko nodded in response. 

“He’s living with me as well. Until he reaches Genin, then he’s free to do whatever he pleases.” 

She stated, glancing up at Gai as he mulled this information over. 

“I am sure you’ll do a wonderful job.” 

He encouraged, immediately sensing her hesitation in discussing the topic. She smiled to herself, despite his loud and boisterous personality Gai was fantastic at reading people. Maybe she could talk to him about her current dilemma’s while they sparred and find some clarity. 

—————————————————————

Atsuko and Gai were exchanging blows quickly. Her firsts were flying at lightning speed, only to be blocked at every turn by Gia’s hand. He returned the motion, forcing her to reel back onto the heels of her feet as he rushed her in a flurry of punches and kicks. She managed to catch quite a few of them but he was speeding up and she doubted she was going to be able to keep up. Gai laughed maniacally. 

“Ah! Do not give up now!” 

He shouted through a flurry of more blows, making her hunker down and dig to find any strength she had left, pushing past her limits with a low growl. It wasn’t enough to just block, she had to retaliate. His right fist came flying at her face, she ducked, letting it sail over her head. Then his left fist was coming up under her chin, she quickly threw her body into a backflip, feeling the wind from the punch whiz past her midsection. She landed on her feet, content with putting a little distance between them. They both took a couple deep breaths, staring at one another as they planned their next moves. She gave Gai a wry grin, eyes narrowing.

“I’m not giving up. Not even close.” 

She retorted, causing the man to smirk back at her, rolling his shoulders and readying himself for an incoming attack. She knew she could get the upper hand by imploring genjutsu… but they had agreed in the beginning only taijutsu, hand to hand. Which she was okay with at first, because that’s where she needed to focus. But now… things were moving to the competitive side, instead of true training and Gai was a taijutsu master. It seemed unfair that he got to use his speciality while she didn’t get to use hers. She forced herself to stop the internal pouting. She just had to outsmart him…

Up until this point, they’d been locked in close combat. To close for Atsuko to really think clearly… then an idea. Smirk still planted on her face, she rushed him, but he was ready for her. Blocking her furious blows with ease. For a moment the only sounds to be heard were the smacks of fists on skin and the soft skid of their feet on the ground as they turned in position. Gai let out a boisterous laugh and swung his leg towards her side. Atsuko smirked just before his kick made contact… only to watch as his leg was pushed back with just as much force, causing him to spin like a top for a moment before planting his leg back on the ground and staring at her in a moment of shock. 

“Chakra control.” 

She responded quickly, closing the gap between them again to catch him off guard. She threw a punch to his gut, his hand immediately going to catch her fist, only to have an invisible blow strike him right next to where he caught her hand. A groan escaped the man and Atsuko pulled back with a laugh as he doubled over. It was the first blow either of them had managed to land in an hour. Gai turned his face up to look at her, smirking with a slight wince in his eyes as he straightened back to full height. 

“Fantastic! There’s the crafty Nightmare Ninja! Controlling your chakra and dispelling it from the chakra points in your arm in a single burst! An invisible punch!” 

He cheered, making Atsuko’s smile grow. He truly was an amazing trainer, so full of energy and praise. They each took a moment to catch their breath and that’s when he continued the conversation they had been having in the early moments of their sparring session. Things had gotten intense, quickly, so it had been left to the wayside.

“So, you find yourself torn between two men. One is new and exciting and you feel a deep connection to, the other a long time friend who you know very well and trust.” 

He restated, and Atsuko nodded, wiping a little sweat from her brow and strolling over to where her backpack rested on the ground. She reached inside and produced two bottles of water, tossing one to Gai who caught it with ease. They both took a long drink, the silence filled with the sounds of gulping and the breeze that rustled the trees above. She had thought it best to not tell him who exactly the men in her life were. Everyone knew that Gai was Kakashi’s self proclaimed eternal rival. Their antics and silly competitions had been the source of entertainment for the village more than once. However, their friendship ran deep. She thought if she told Gai that Kakashi was one of the men she was torn between, he would certainly be biased. She also knew he wouldn’t be quiet about it, likely seeking out Kakashi and wrapping him up in one of those bone crushing hugs, going on about how happy he was for Kakashi and even probably fawning over a future wedding. It would scare Kakashi off for sure. Atsuko finished her drink and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Yes. Did I mention they are also close friends with one another? I’m afraid that I will lose my friend if I make the wrong choice. Or that I will lose that new connection. Or that I’ll ruin their friendship with each other.”

She sighed, placing the empty bottle back into her bag.

“It’s a lose-lose situation, Gai.

She turned back to face him to see he was deep in a thought. Then he glanced across the training ground to where Sasuke was. Atsuko followed his gaze and they watched for a while as Sasuke moved up the tree, feet planted firmly as he walked and seemingly not needing a running start anymore. He was now easily 15 feet off the ground. Leaning down leisurely to make a new mark on it with his kunai. He smirked, self assured, and then his feet started to skid as he slid down the feet. He adjusted quickly, turning to run down the length and return to the ground. Atsuko’s chest bloomed with pride as she watched him, covered in dirt and some bruises, but still managing to get better every single time. 

She and Gai turned back to face each other at the same time, both smiling deeply.

“Maybe you should not choose either.” 

He suggested, and she nodded in response, knowing exactly what he meant. She smiled, approaching him again and rolling her shoulders.

“Let’s go again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is moving too slow for some of you! We are coming up on a time skip though and things will be kicking into major high gear. 
> 
> Also I’m constantly torn on how I’m writing Sasuke. He’s got the apathetic cool kid thing down, but we never see how he would act in a domestic situation after the massacre bc he was alone!! So I just try to keep in mind that he’s still a baby really, even with the trauma. So his actions kind of contradict themselves at times.
> 
> ALSO ohhhhh Yamato has made a move... how will this shake out??


	8. Weighing Options and A Few Confessions

The remainder of the day was more of the same. Gai and Atsuko continued to spar, breaking to have lunch with Sasuke. Atsuko was a little nervous about how the two would get along. Gai was arguably more energetic than even Naruto, and Sasuke had made it clear how he felt about loud people. Surprisingly though, Gai spent lunch giving Sasuke some tips on his chakra control and, even more shocking, Sasuke listened intently. He told him to try and focus on the bottoms of his feet specifically as it would help narrow down the location and allow for more condensed energy. This advice seemed to help, Atsuko noticed. By the time the sun was starting to set, Sasuke was able to make it up the tree about 50 feet off the ground, no running needed. Staying in place for too long at one time though seemed to still be an issue. Either way, it was incredible progress. 

Gai took his leave about an hour before sunset, after both he and Atsuko were covered in sweat and dirt. She was exhausted, just barely keeping up with him the entire day. Gai on the other hand seemed like he still had some energy to expel, causing Atsuko to marvel at his stamina as the man jogged off through the trail in the woods he had entered the clearing from earlier in the day. She took this time to sit and relax, leaning against one of the wooden posts, alternating between watching Sasuke and the sun slowly move below the horizon. Her mind wandered as the setting sun cast orange shadows and wind grew chilly. She thought about what Gai had told her. Maybe she should tell both Kakashi and Yamato to kick rocks, that Sasuke was her main concern and would be for the next several years. The thought of that being the outcome made her ache slightly. It didn’t seem fair. To anyone. So she decided to use this time to plan her next move.

On one hand, she had Kakashi. Emotionally reserved to a fault. His exterior hardened to the point that she wasn’t sure he’d had an emotionally fulfilling relationship… ever. Then she got him to open up a little. She didn’t want to overstate her importance, but she wondered what it would do to him if she took away that budding hope just before it had time to take root. The connection she felt with him was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. She’d only truly known him for a short time, but she found herself yearning for him. She wanted to help bear his burdens, to ease the weight on his shoulders and provide him with warmth and safety. She was all too aware that they’d only scratched the surface so far, and that the depth of him was vast and immeasurable. There was the promise of so much more in his touch and, after last night, she felt like every moment she didn't spend learning about him was a wasted one. 

Then there was Yamato. Her best friend of years and a man she trusted with her very life. When she considered him romantically, it was different from the feeling she got when thinking of Kakashi. The idea of a relationship with Yamato made HER feel safe and secure. It didn’t feel as one sided. She knew he cared for her deeply and that he would go to the ends of the earth to insure her health and happiness. It warmed her from the inside out. He was absolutely the safe option. Their knowledge of one another was already established, there was no learning curve to fear and she could easily see them falling into an effortless bliss. Sweet domesticity and soft words exchanged in the early hours of the morning. However, it frustrated her to no end to think he had had years to make a move. Literally any other time before this and it would have been a no brainer. Something she had never really considered but if it had presented to her even a week ago, everything would have clicked into place perfectly. 

It was becoming too confusing to look at it from an emotional standpoint. All the Pros and Cons seemed to even out in that department. She took a mental step back, viewing everything from a logical point of view and trying to discern how she could proceed and cause the least amount of damage. 

Option 1: She chose neither. Both men would likely be understanding given her current position. It would buy her time to figure it out on her own. Give Sasuke her undivided attention and revisit the idea years down the road. That option left her feeling slightly hollow and she had a feeling things wouldn’t be the same then. Yamato would likely distance himself from her out of embarrassment and she knew she’d never see Kakashi again. 

Option 2: Choose Yamato. The safer route, simply because she knew he wasn’t going anywhere. She understood how he operated and things would likely settle into a comfortable partnership. Or a rut. This would also likely mean having to see Kakashi often. She couldn’t imagine him being outwardly scorned by her choosing her best friend of years over a man she’d known less than a week, so he and Yamato would remain friends. But because she had never gotten the opportunity to explore what might have been with him, that tension would never ease. At least not for her. She could see that growing into resentment and possibly a nasty end for her and Yamato. She had a feeling that this situation was the most likely to leave her without either of them in the end.

Option 3: Choose Kakashi. That’s the prospect that made her heart seize momentarily. Choosing Kakashi would mean a lot of unknown’s. She knew him well enough, or rather she felt like she did, had since she met him. She couldn’t necessarily see that it would end badly, but then again there were a lot of things she wasn't privy to. In this situation, her friendship with Yamato could go one of two ways. He would either concede, understanding that he had been just a little late on the draw, swallow his pride and continue to be there for her. Or, he wouldn’t be able to stand seeing them together and avoid them both entirely. However, she felt this left a window of opportunity open for her. If her assumptions about Yamato’s feelings were correct, and things happened to not work out with Kakashi, he could always be her safe backup. It made her feel a little gross to consider a man she cared for deeply as a backup option if her new, exciting, relationship didn’t work out. But she was trying to look at this logically. 

All of those options could end in a loss for her. So she just had to determine which one she was willing to bite the bullet on. 

Forcing herself from her thoughts, she regarded her surroundings again. The sun had fully set at this point and her eyes scanned the grounds, landing on Sasuke where he laid on the ground, breathing heavily and seemingly trying to muster the strength to go again. She smiled softly, slowly standing up and stretching her arms behind and above her head, her muscles groaning at the sudden movement. 

“Don’t even think about it, badass. Not only is it late, but your chakra is all but depleted.” 

She spoke up, walking leisurely to where the boy laid on his back, leaning over him to look him in his eyes with a smirk. He grimaced in return and she chuckled, sticking out a hand for him to take. He reached up and she hauled him to his feet, only for his legs to wobble and give out under him as he collapsed in a cloud of dirt with a groan. Atsuko chuckled again, turning around and crouching in front of him. 

“Hop on.” 

She encouraged him, and Sasuke looped his arms around her neck as she reached behind to wrap his legs around her back, holding him by his thighs. His head rested against her shoulder, heavy and tired, but the smile never left her face. 

“You did great today, Sasuke. I mean it. Even Gai was impressed. Granted, it doesn't take much to get him worked up.”

Sasuke scoffed and chuckled in her ear at that comment,

“But praise from a high level Jonin like Gai is nothing to scoff at. He may seem a little strange, but he’s one of the strongest Shinobi I’ve ever known.” 

She advised, going to collect their lunchbox and her backpack from the ground, stuffing the box inside the bag and maneuvering it so it rested on Sasuke’s back. As they started their trek back home, Sasuke rested his head against Atsuko’s shoulder. When they emerged from the training grounds and back to the streets of the village, people moved past them, all seemingly heading home from a long day of work. She carried Sasuke in silence, content to listen to his breathing even out as she assumed he began to fall asleep. That was until she saw a certain blonde haired boy, pacing back and forth outside of Ichiraku Ramen as he turned his pockets inside out and muttered to himself in a panicked tone. 

“...it was just here! I know I had it when I left the house!” 

She overheard him say as she approached the boy. 

“Naruto?” 

She called softly, feeling the boy on her back raise his head quickly as Naruto turned his head up in confusion to look at her, squinting for a moment before he seemed to recognize her and Sasuke. 

“Oh! Hey! You’re that lady Iruka-sensei brought into class yesterday.” 

He exclaimed, before peering around her shoulder slightly before furrowing his brow and crossing his arms in defiance. 

“And Sasuke. What are you like, his mom or something?”

He asked and Atsuko chuckled, sure that Sasuke was glaring back at the boy with all the resentment his tiny face could muster. 

“Uh, no. Sasuke lives with me. I’m Atsuko, and yes I will be your sensei next week.”

She introduced as she extended a hand for him to shake, a little awkwardly as she tried to keep Sasuke balanced on her back. Naruto looked between her hand, her smiling face, and Sasuke’s scowling one over her shoulder, his eyes narrowed in skepticism before he finally reached out to return her handshake. She pulled her hand back to support Sasuke’s leg again. 

“Are you having some trouble?”

She asked, and Naruto began pulling his pockets inside out again, nodding as he spun in place, looking at the ground for something he may have dropped. 

“I had this coupon for a free bowl of Ichiraku but now I can’t find it. I know it was in my pocket when I left the house!”

He stated, brow furrowed as his eyes scanned the ground, like the coupon would magically appear from the ground if he stared hard enough. Atsuko chuckled, the boy was cute even when in mild distress.

“Oh, is that all? Sasuke, grab my coin purse from my bag please…” 

Naruto’s head snapped up at her instructions, tilting it to the side in confusion. Sasuke released one of the arms around her throat with a sigh and reached behind him to dig in the backpack, producing a small, black, coin purse with a clasp, handing it to her over her shoulder. She managed to free one of her hands from holding him again, opening the clasp with her mouth and fishing inside with a few fingers, pulling them out and producing a couple bills. Sasuke reached back over to take the bag from her, snapping it shut and putting it back in the backpack. 

“Here, this should cover the bowl of ramen.” 

Atsuko said, gingerly holding out the money to the boy who was still looking at her like this was some kind of trick. There were a few beats of silence before Sasuke sighed and piped up, 

“Just take the money, loser.”

He grumbled, causing Atsuko to reach back and smack the top of his head with the hand she was holding the money in. 

“Hey! Manners.”

She scolded lightly, causing Sasuke to huff and rub the spot where she’d struck him with a scowl. She turned her attention back to Naruto. 

“But seriously, here. Go eat.” 

She encouraged him. Naruto reached out a tentative hand to take the money from her. With her hand free she readjusted Sasuke on her back again and smiled at the boy in front of her. 

“Why are you being nice to me?”

He asked, seeming genuinely confused, brow still furrowed. Her eyes went wide at the question. She didn’t even consider it being nice, she was just doing what she’d do if she saw any of the children from the village in his position. She knew that the adults who remembered the Nine-Tails attack weren’t kind to Naruto, but he seemed genuinely confused by her act of kindness. Like no one had ever shown him that. 

She was so caught off guard by his question that she stuttered through her response. 

“W-well… because you're Sasuke’s classmate. Soon to be my student for a week. I just wanted to help.” 

She replied, giving him a soft smile to hide the concern in her eyes. This poor boy was questioning basic kindness… Naruto regarded her for a moment more, seemingly deciding this wasn’t a joke and grinning wildly, eyes squeezed shut with the effort of the massive smile. He gave her a thumbs up, money scrunched up in his palm. 

“Thanks, Sasuke’s mom! I’ll pay you back when I become Hokage one day!” 

He shouted before running through the curtains into the ramen stand. She smiled wide, a little stunned for a moment as she listened to him bark his order at the poor man running the shop. Aside from the encounter, the words ‘Sasuke’s mom’ were ringing in her head repeatedly. It was the most bittersweet thing she’d ever heard. She pushed the thought aside, Naruto was just a kid so he called her what made the most sense to him. A small chuckle worked its way through her chest as she finally continued walking down the street. 

“He’s always going on about that. Being Hokage one day…”

Sasuke grumbled into her back, and she chuckled again. 

“Ya know, he says it with such conviction that I kind of believe him.” 

She responded thoughtfully, causing Sasuke to scoff in return. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

When they returned home, Atsuko allowed Sasuke to bathe first while she whipped up something quick for dinner. After he was clean, they ate, and Atsuko applied some more of the balm to the old and new bruises on him, before going to shower herself. She took a little longer than usual, unable to bring herself to leave the warmth of the water against her sore body. When she was finally satisfied and slightly pruning, she pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, heading to her room only to find Sasuke already curled up in her bed in the same position he had been in this morning. She gave a soft smile and went to retrieve two large bottles of water from the fridge, bringing one back to him and crawling into the bed between him and the window. 

“Drink that before you go to sleep. You’ll be twice as sore tomorrow if you wake up dehydrated.” 

She advised, watching as he clambered up to sit against the wooden headboard and drink the water. She watched him momentarily and those words rang in her head again. Sasuke’s mom. It made her heart swell to the point of bursting. She knew she was nowhere near the real thing, and never would be. Yet, as they sat here together in her bed, getting ready to sleep after a long day of training, she couldn’t think of any word other than ‘son’ that encompassed how she felt about him. She hurt when he did, celebrated his accomplishments as her own, and felt an overwhelming sense of pride at everything he did. She would gladly die for him. If it meant his comfort and safety she realized, she would give her life. The thought brought a small tear to her eye. She reached up quickly to wipe it away, clearing her throat to hide her light sniffle and then downing her own bottle of water. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as Sasuke pulled the water bottle away from his lips and raised a brow at her. 

“Are you crying?”

He asked bluntly, tilting his head to the side in confusion. Atsuko choked on her water slightly, pulling the bottle away as well to cough into her elbow. When she turned back to look at him, he had fixed her with those massive, dark, eyes. Questioning and still a spark of innocence. She sighed, physically unable to lie to him at this point. 

“Uh, yeah a little. Sorry. I was just thinking about some stuff.”

She replied, hoping he would drop it as she went back to her water. Before she could take a drink he piped up again. 

“What were you thinking about?”

She lowered the bottle slowly, thinking of how to phrase it. 

“I just… I’m really proud of you, Sasuke. You make progress every day. What Naruto called me earlier… I know it's nowhere close. I know I’m not your mother. And god I know you miss her, I do too. She was an amazing woman… but I’ve come to love you like a son. So, just know I’ll be here for you, no matter what.”

She struggled getting through it, not sure how to explain these complex feelings to him. She noticed that a couple more tears had sprung up in her eyes, and she let out a dry chuckle and wiped at her eyes again, turning them up towards the ceiling to stop the flow. 

“Geez, I’m sorry. That was a lot.”

She apologized, turning back to look at him with a weary smile. She found he was looking down at his lap with the ghost of a smile on his face as well, water bottle nestled in his lap. The smile grew a little more visible and he muttered under his breath.

“I love you too, Atsuko-sensei.” 

So quiet, she almost didn’t hear it over the sound of her overhead fan whirring. Her eyes widened, mouth falling open in shock and failing to find something to say in return. She’d told him that once before, in a much lighter moment, but she never thought she would hear him say it to her. It was another moment where she was struck into silence by his perceptiveness. Combined with one of those soft moments she was never prepared for because of his typical tough guy persona. When she finally registered the words, a smile broke over her face and she reached out, grabbing his cheeks and planting a kiss on the top of his head. He grumbled in response, gently smacking her hands off his cheeks and a blush creeping across them in her wake as she pulled back to regard him with a chuckle. 

“Love you too, badass.” 

She responded, sitting back on her heels and letting him calm down a little as she grinned like a maniac. After a few moments of silence, the blush faded from his face and he turned his head back to look at her with a smirk. 

“You can be there for me, but you gotta keep up.”

He challenged and Atsuko barked out a laugh, nodding and reaching out to ruffle his hair. 

“I’ll try my best, but I get the feeling you’re going to leave me in your dust. But that’s alright. Even if you lap me, you’ll have to come back around sometime and I’ll be waiting.”

She returned, and he gave her a single nod of determination before finishing what was left of his water bottle and snuggling down into the blankets. She sat upright next to him, back against the headboard. They fell into a comfortable silence as she helped pull the blanket up over him. He rolled over on his side to face the door and before Atsuko could even pull the book she was reading from her nightstand, he was fast asleep. 

She knew Kakashi was supposed to be by tonight, so she decided to wait up for him instead of dozing off and having him knock on her window, likely waking Sasuke. She had bought this book back before Sasuke came into her life and had never had time to start it. Based on the synopsis, it was a story about how two rival ninja’s fell in love. A little corny, but should make for some good reading material. She cracked it open to the first page, barely able to get a paragraph in before she noticed a blur of silver outside her window. Looking up, there was a crouched Kakashi, giving her a wave and smiling. A smile broke across her face and she slowly climbed out of the bed, sure not to disturb the sleeping boy. 

She opened the window slowly, motioning for him to move back as she climbed out. She shut the window behind her, leaving it open only a crack and sat down on the shingled roof, legs outstretched as she leaned against the wall. Kakashi followed her lead, sitting next to her, just out of sight of the window. 

“He’s sleeping in your bed now?”

He questioned, Atsuko chuckled in response, nodding. 

“He’s able to sleep without the genjutsu this way. I believe it makes him feel more secure.”

She stated, smiling and poking her head out a little to look in the window. Sasuke was still sleeping, so she resumed her position next to Kakashi. 

“You know, coming to see me like this is romantic and all… but I don’t think it would be un-romantic of you to just ring the doorbell.”

She said, head resting against the wall as she let it roll to look over at him just in time to see his shoulders bouncing with a laugh. 

“Noted. I guess old habits die hard.”

He responded, and she wondered just how many people he had greeted through their bedroom window. There was a lull of silence as they just acclimated to each other’s company. A cool breeze blew and Atsuko shivered involuntarily, realizing how little she was wearing on the cool fall night. Kakashi shifted closer, draping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her close to his warm frame. She rested her head against his chest with a smile but then decided to break the silence by telling him about her day. 

“I took Sasuke to the training grounds today… He’s learning chakra control so I’m using the tree walking method.”

Kakashi hummed in understanding, he was familiar with the method. 

“He’s doing well. Got about 50 feet off the ground, no running start. I also ran into Gai while I was there…” 

She couldn’t see his face, but she knew his eyebrow raised at that, a little nervous his friend had embarrassed him in some way, he carefully asked. 

“Oh? How’d that go?”

Atsuko chuckled, bringing her arm up to wrap around his midsection as she snuggled just a little closer, eyes fixed on the rooftop across from theirs and the stars in the distance. 

“We sparred… all day.”

Kakashi chuckled and she continued, 

“He’s really incredible, ya know? I’m sure you know that better than anyone. But outside of the training really kicking my ass, he gives fantastic advice.”

She said, feeling the vibrations of a laugh in his chest at her comment about the training kicking her ass. But they died down when she mentioned that Gai had given her advice on something. That cautious tone was back when he questioned. 

“What did he give you advice on?”

The question made Atsuko stiffen a little, but she forced herself to relax and readjust slightly, clearing her throat. Should she lie to him? If she told him about Yamato, would he bolt anyway? Would he think he was coming between them? After a few seconds of strained silence, she decided to just tell him the truth. No sense in starting this relationship with a lie. 

“Um… Well, Yamato came by this morning… He brought breakfast for me and Sasuke. Everything was nice and I told him the story about my door and then… he kind of made a move on me?”

She said, deciding to not go into too much detail. Definitely leaving out the part that the move he made on her left her with butterflies even after he was gone. This time she felt Kakashi stiffen, shifting slightly like he wanted to remove his hold on her. She took the hint and pulled herself away from her spot in his arms, going back to sitting next to him with a hollow feeling in her stomach. He was looking down at his lap, no readable expression on his face. Even though she had left the information out about her internal struggle with Yamato’s advance, Kakashi put 2 and 2 together quickly. 

“So you asked Gai for advice on… what you should do?”

He asked, sounding like a mix between livid, defeated, and trying to maintain his cool. Atsuko panicked internally but tried to choose her next words carefully.

“Well… I didn’t tell him who I was talking about if that’s what worries you...but yes, I asked him for advice on how to move forward.”

She responded carefully, watching him intently for any change in demeanor. She was not going to let him run off again. No matter how fast he was. He tilted his head to the side, still looking at his lap. 

“And what conclusion did you come to?”

Came his response, a little softer than before but sounding like the words were being ripped from his throat. He seemed… genuinely nervous, like he was preparing himself for the worst.

That was the question of the day, wasn’t it? Atsuko turned it over in her head just one more time to make sure the conclusion she had come to at the training ground earlier that night really was the one she wanted. When she thought about her answer to that question, a lump formed in her throat and her heart physically skipped a beat. To illicit a physical response every time she considered it… this had to be the right choice. 

She couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face as she reached out a tentative hand, grabbing his hand that was resting in his lap and intertwining their fingers like he’d done to her the night before.

“That I would like to continue seeing you… and let Yamato know I’d rather remain friends.”

She responded, voice soft as ever. Again, there was a long silence and as it stretched on, Atsuko grew more and more nervous. Until, finally, Kakashi’s grip on her hand tightened, giving it a single squeeze as he turned his head to look at her, face visibly soft compared to the stone face he had been wearing moments ago. 

“Are you sure about that?”

He questioned, matching her tone. She figured this would be difficult for him. It wasn’t a huge leap to assume he had some self image issues. That he wasn't confident in himself or believed he wasn’t worthy of this affection. She didn’t know all the details of what he had been through, but to kill your comrade in battle and be given the title of Friend-Killer by the people you fought to defend… It had to do a number on his self esteem. She was honestly a little shocked he wasn’t insisting she change her mind. Trying to convince her that she should move on with Yamato and leave him behind. Maybe the fact that he wasn’t spoke to just how much he wanted this to work out. She nodded, still smiling. 

“Absolutely positive. The other night, when you walked me home, I wasn’t lying when I told you that being in your presence makes me feel… calm. Secure. I haven’t quite figured out all the details yet, and probably won't for a while. But there is something here…”

She gestured between them with her free hand,

“That I can’t shake. If I believed in that sort of thing, I would almost say its… fate?”

She finished, not worried anymore if she was coming on a little strong. She wanted him to be secure in the fact that she wasn’t going anywhere as long as he wanted to keep her around. Kakashi still didn’t seem thoroughly convinced and Atsuko didn’t think she could really find the words to reassure him, so she opted for showing him what she meant.

“Now, can I please~ kiss you? I’ve been thinking about it all day.”

She asked to lighten the mood a little. Not a total lie, but it was more so a move to show she was also attracted to him, and to help stop his mind from spiraling. She felt they had that much in common. Kakashi let out a soft chuckle, tension easing from his shoulders as he relaxed back against the wall again. She took this as her answer and moved quickly to straddle his legs. She felt his hand tense slightly at the movement and watched his visible eye go wide for a brief moment before she guided his gloved hands to her hips, then he relaxed again. 

She reached up, slowly pushing his headband up to reveal both eyes, though he kept the one with the Sharingan closed. The other eye was only half way open, a little glossy as he watched her, his thumbs rubbing small circles on her hips. Her fingers danced over the edge of his mask, silently asking for permission to remove it. Kakashi gave a subtle nod and she grinned, peeling the black material down his face and bunching it up around his neck. When she looked at his face again her heart hammered in her chest at the sight. He looked even more gorgeous in the moonlight. Pale skin glowing slightly, eyes dark and hazy as he returned her stare. The moment of tense stillness was broken when she noticed his tongue dart out to wet his lips. This single movement was all it took for her to lurch forward and capture his mouth in a heated kiss. 

Their lips slotted together perfectly, moving against one another with languid ease. Atsuko was fine with this pace at first, just enjoying the moment. Then she decided to move things along, capturing his bottom lips between her teeth with little to no warning, causing a slight groan to rumble in Kakashi’s chest and his grip on her hips to tighten. She smirked into his mouth, realizing she’d pay good money to hear that sound again. Then he gave her exactly what she wanted and opened his mouth to allow her tongue access. She deepened the kiss, tongue moving against his slowly as he leaned his head back and allowed her to move as she wished, letting her take control. 

Atsuko’s hands moved between them, dragging the zipper on his vest down slowly until she’d created enough room to wiggle her hands inside. In response, Kakashi moved his right hand up the curve of her body painfully slowly until it was resting at the back of her head, tangling in her hair at the root. When her hands finally found their way into his vest, she ran them against his torso, feeling the way the lean muscle flexed and moved under her touch. She let out a quiet moan against his lips and his fingers tightened in her hair, tugging slightly as he pulled away from the kiss, leaving her open mouthed and panting as she slowly opened her eyes. Kakashi’s pale skin was flushed, lips glistening and swollen. Her eyes trailed downwards to where her hands were still planted inside his half zipped vest. The sight alone enough to make her groan in her throat, frustrated as he kept her head tilted back with his tight grip in her hair. 

“We… we should stop before we can’t…”

Kakashi finally spoke up, voice husky and low. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sound, inhaling sharply. The heat building in her stomach was difficult to ignore as she shifted in his lap, only to feel that he had been affected as well. She bit her lip and opened her eyes again to look at him, now even more red as he knew she had discovered what exactly their kiss had done to him. She smirked, fully ready to grind down against him and make him lose what little resolve he had left. Then she glanced over at the bedroom window right next to them and sighed, dropping her head forward and visibly deflating. 

“Yeah, shit… you’re right.”

She responded, slowly clambering off his lap to resume her position next to him, back pressed against the wall again as she tried to focus on controlling her breathing and working herself down. She felt him shuffle a little next to her and by the time she felt like she wouldn’t combust just from looking at him, she turned to face him a little, seeing his mask back on and vest zipped. The only evidence they had done anything was his ragged breathing. 

She chuckled a little, turning back to look out at the night sky again.

“Sorry about that… guess I got a little carried away.”

She said, still sounding a little breathless. He let out a scoff beside her, full of humor. 

“A little… but if that was just a kiss? I can see why Genma wouldn’t leave you alone.” 

He replied, and she dropped her head back, letting out a laugh that filled the silent streets below, her shoulders bouncing. He followed suit, though not quite as loud. By the end, her head was leaning against his shoulder as the laughter died down to giggles.

“Thanks for the compliment. I’ve been practicing.” 

She teased, causing the silver haired man to chuckle again before reaching down to hold her hand as they both watched the stars. 

“I’m going on a mission starting tomorrow… I’ll be gone for about a week. So, how about next weekend we go on a proper date? I could cook…”

Kakashi suggested, losing a little confidence by the end of his sentence. Atsuko smiled, turning her head to look up at him. 

“You can cook?” 

She asked, and he shrugged in response.

“I’ve been told it’s good.” 

He stated smoothly. Atsuko’s grin only widened. He was gorgeous, sweet, made her feel all of these wonderful things when he was near, and he could cook? The more she learned about him, the more she liked him. 

“That sounds wonderful, Kakashi… yours or mine?” 

She asked, and she noticed his cheeks darken ever so slightly. 

“Well… I was thinking mine… do you think Sasuke would be okay without you for an evening?” 

He asked, voice a little shaky. Clearly hinting at doing a little more than just having dinner. She giggled at his nervousness, nodding,

“I’m sure I can figure something out so we can have the evening to ourselves” 

She said, going back to leaning her head on his shoulder.

“If not, that’s okay! I don’t want you to think I’m only after-!” 

Kakashi stuttered nervously, the hand holding hers fidgeting wildly, only to be cut off by another laugh from Atsuko. 

“Kakashi, relax. I hate to be the one to tell you, but I am no stranger to sex. I’m not exactly a blushing virgin and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest that you’d plan ahead for that.”

She said, feeling him relax a little under her and let out a sigh of relief. He still seemed a little uptight, so for good measure she added,

“And, to be completely honest with you, I’ve been thinking about it since we met. If you hadn’t stopped me tonight, we’d have been… well. You get the idea.”

She finished with a chuckle as she pulled back from her place on his shoulder to look at his face. Oh… she wondered if what she’d said to ease his worries had had the opposite effect. His visible eye was wide, staring straight ahead with a blush on his cheeks. She giggled again, pulling back a little. 

“Sorry… too much?” 

She questioned, he swallowed thickly and looked at her quickly, shaking his head.

“No! I just… I’ve never… met a woman so forward.” 

He said, and Atsuko shrugged a little, still smiling slightly. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop. I’m just used to being open about that kind of thing. I know what I like and what I want, so I tend to go after it. I have a bit of a… reputation. You should know that before we get too deep into this thing.” 

She advised, slowly becoming a little unsure of herself. She was so used to hook ups and sex just for the hell of it that this was a little out of her comfort zone. The last thing she wanted was to make him uncomfortable. Her comment about a reputation was true as well and she figured he should know before someone saw them together and made some snide remark about it. 

“Like I said, I’m not exactly abstinent… I’ve been with quite a few men.” 

She advised, not daring to look him in the eyes as she pulled her knees up under her chin. Typically, it wasn’t something she was embarrassed of in the slightest. Men were able to sleep around as they pleased, with nothing more than a pat on the back for being a stud. A ladies man. But most people didn’t view a woman with a high sex drive in the same light. She’d been the target of some rude comments and glares in her life and she always waved them off. But if that was something that would affect Kakashi… well it wasn’t just her being called names anymore, was it? 

Despite refusing to look at him, she could see Kakashi chuckle out of the corner of her eye before she actually heard him. She snapped her head up immediately, looking over at him incredulously. He waved her glare off as he laughed, trying to regain his composure so he could explain himself.

“I’m sorry… no. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s just a little funny to me that you know what people call me… and you accepted that with no issue. But you worry that I will have a lesser opinion of you because you’ve slept with a few men?” 

He managed out between chuckles, a hint of disbelief in his tone. A slow smile grew across Atsuko’s face as well, followed by a light blush as she started giggling as well. She buried her face in her knees as the laughter took over her body. He was spot on. It was a little ridiculous. She knew of his past, it was dark and harsh, but she didn’t even bat an eye at it. Because while it was awful and so incredibly sad, everyone had their burden to bear. And that was his, it was a part of him just like the color of his hair and she didn’t think twice about it when considering him as a partner. 

Then she turned around and thought he would think poorly of her because she was a little promiscuous? In comparison, it was ridiculous and silly to have worried. Once they both calmed down from their fits of laughter, she raised her head to look at him with eyes full of adoration. 

“Thank you, Kakashi…”

She said, and he just gave her one of those close eyed smiles in return. 

“Don’t thank me… but I do have an early start, I should be going. How does Saturday night sound? 6 o’clock?” 

He asked, and she nodded eagerly as they both stood. 

“Perfect. I’ll wear something nice.” 

She said, leaning up on her tiptoes to plant a chaste kiss on his masked lips. Pulling back with a smile, he nodded.

“Then it’s a date. I’ll be here to pick you up and walk you to my home at 6.”

He responded and she nodded again, reaching up to fix his hair, a little wild from leaning against the wall. 

“Deal… stay safe, okay?” 

Kakashi gave her a single nod, 

“Of course. I’ll see you, Atsuko.” 

He responded, another beat of silence passed as they just stood and smiled at one another. Then she blinked, and he was gone. 

Atsuko stood for a moment alone on her rooftop, smiling to herself as the butterflies unleashed in her stomach, making her a little giddy. He really was incredible… she made her way back inside, quietly opening the window and sliding into bed next to a sleeping Sasuke. Her nerves buzzed lightly as the memory of the visit ran through her mind. She laid down, staring at the back of Sasuke’s head as she slowly calmed down. After a moment, the training of the day began to catch up with her and her body grew tired. Just as she was about to fall asleep she heard a small voice ask, 

“So, is THAT guy your boyfriend?”

Atsuko chuckled into her pillow, reaching up to gently smack the back of Sasuke’s head.

“Go to sleep, badass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is all fluff! Tooth rotting stuff here, folks! I plan to cover the week of Atsuko teaching class in the next chapter or so, then the date with Kakashi <3 then we’re gonna jump forward to the beginning of canon Naruto! Things are gonna go from sweet to sour reallll quick so hold on tight!


	9. On Introductions and Precious People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay buckle in kids this is a looooong one. I just had a little too much fun with the interactions between the OC and the kids!

Atsuko and Sasuke spent the majority of the next day relaxing around the house. This was Sasuke’s first experience with intense training, and if Atsuko was being truthful, she had lost a little bit of her edge in recent months. Despite their best efforts, they both woke up sore and exhausted. Atsuko had immediately accepted the fact that she would not be leaving the house, but Sasuke took some mild convincing. That was until he tried to jump out of bed too quickly, only to crash to the floor with a groan. Then he seemed to begrudgingly accept Atsuko’s plan of a cozy day in. 

Sasuke busied himself with some light homework while Atsuko familiarized herself with the course material for the upcoming week. She took a peak at each of the children’s files, seeing a few stand out prospects in the Genjutsu department. Shikamaru Nara, the file said, was lazy but incredibly gifted. He was intelligent, beyond his peers by far in that regard. It didn’t really come as a surprise to her considering Shikaku was the boy’s father. Then, of course, Sasuke. He was intelligent as well, and he had the added benefit of the Sharingan he’d yet to awaken. The last two were Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno. Both intelligent girls who had displayed a propensity for chakra control. All of the other students seemed to be better suited for Ninjutsu or Taijutsu. 

She went over everything Iruka wanted her to cover during the week, but she still had creative freedom in how she taught these things. The idea of teaching these children something new and exciting filled her heart with joy. Just like she’d felt when she watched Sasuke walk up that tree yesterday. She turned over different gameplans in her head the entire day as she went on, doing some mild cooking and cleaning. Their day ended just as it had begun, sleeping side by side in Atsuko’s too big bed.

—————————————————————

Monday morning came too quickly, like it always did. Atsuko was the first to wake, this seemed to be a running theme now that Sasuke was sleeping in her room. He always looked so peaceful she regretted having to wake him. Still, after she had sat for a minute, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she reached over to give him a gentle nudge.

“Sasuke… up and at em’...”

She managed through a yawn, snickering quietly as the boy groaned in protest. She slid down to the foot of the bed, standing and stretching. 

“C’mon it’s a big day for me. Try to be a little enthusiastic.” 

She teased, looking at him as he rolled over and fixed her with a half-awake glare. It caused her to giggle again as she went to her closet, trying to find something appropriate to wear. Her Jonin vest hung in the back of the closest, untouched for months. She pulled it out with a smile, smoothing her hand over the green material. A status symbol she hadn’t bothered with since being asked to care for Sasuke. Today felt like the right time to wear it again. She turned to gather the rest of her outfit, noticing Sasuke had dozed back off. 

“Hey, badass! I’m not kidding. Out of bed.” 

She called, walking back over and grabbing his hands, hauling him into an upright position as he groaned. She gave him a solid pat on the back. 

“Go on, get dressed. We’re leaving a little early so I can bring Iruka coffee.” 

She ordered as she left the bedroom to head to the bathroom. Waiting a moment before closing the door to listen for Sasuke’s sigh of defeat as his feet hit the ground. She smiled, winning the battle, and began getting ready. 

She gave herself a once over in the mirror, smiling softly at her typical mission attire. A dark grey turtleneck, a pair of black overalls that ended in a snug fit around her waist, the straps on either side of her chest, and the moss green Jonin vest, unzipped and draped over her shoulders. She smiled, moving on to hair and makeup. For the sake of her headband, she pulled her hair back and separated half of it into a high bun, letting the rest of her curly dark locks flow behind her. After securing the headband around her forehead, tied neatly at the base of her head, she exited the bathroom and smiled as Sasuke came out of his room at the same time. 

“How do I look? Like a real sensei?” 

She asked, smirking as she twirled. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but chuckled nonetheless as he walked down the hall past her. 

“Yeah. Just try not to embarrass me today, okay?” 

He responded, grabbing his lunchbox from the fridge and putting it in his backpack. Atsuko feigned shock at his comment, giving an over exaggerated gasp as she followed him. 

“Me? Embarrass you? Never!” 

She replied, pressing a scandalized hand to her chest before dropping the act with a laugh when he turned to give her an unimpressed scowl. She leaned down, grabbing the sides of his face, and placed a kiss to the top of his head. He brought his hands up to swat at her own.

“This is what I mean! You can’t kiss me on the head during class.” 

Sasuke grumbled as she pulled away, still chuckling slightly. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it. But you say that now! By the end of the day you’ll be so miserable from my lack of head kisses you won’t be able to stand it.” 

Atsuko huffed, earning her another eye roll. She was beginning to fear his eyes would get stuck like that.

—————————————————————

On their way to the Academy, Atsuko and Sasuke stopped into a small coffee shop, grabbing two coffees for herself and Iruka, as well as a couple pastries. This time when they arrived, Atsuko followed Sasuke inside the building instead of leaving him at the gate. They were the first ones to enter the classroom, besides Iruka who was sitting at his desk, going over some papers. He perked up when they entered, standing to greet Atsuko as Sasuke went to take his normal seat. 

“Morning, Atsuko.”

He said, going to shake her hand only to realize they were full. She laughed a little, handing him one of the coffee cups. 

“Morning, Iruka. I brought you coffee and breakfast.” 

She returned, and he took the cup gratefully as they moved to his desk to place the small pastry box down.

“Thank you! You really didn’t have to…”

Iruka responded, blushing slightly as he rubbed the back of his neck. She smiled in return, he was adorable. 

“Of course I did! You’ve given me something to do besides sitting at home and cooking for the prince all day.” 

She teased, glancing up to where Sasuke sat, only for him to scoff and shake his head. She chuckled, turning back to the man in front of her. 

“Oh! I brought your files back! Sasuke, in the front pocket of your bag…” 

She instructed, watching as the boy rummaged through his backpack and produced a manila folder. She ascended the steps to his seat and took the file from him before returning it to Iruka’s waiting hand. 

“Thank you. Do you have an idea about how you’re going to do this?”

He asked, and she nodded eagerly, but still stuttering over her words as her nerves began to make themselves known again. 

“Yeah, I have a pretty good idea… ya know, I’ve been in life threatening situations more times than I can count. Been in fights where my life and the lives of others were on the line… yet I’m more nervous now than I ever was then.” 

She said, embarrassment clear in her face as a faint blush dusted her cheeks. She chuckled a little humorlessly and Iruka gave her a patient smile. 

“We all get nervous approaching something we aren’t used to. But I have faith you’ll do a wonderful job.” 

He encouraged her, and the words did seem to put her a little at ease. He followed it up with, 

“And if you’re worried about the attitude problem this class seems to have, I’ll be here to step in if need be. Especially as far as Naruto’s concerned.” 

A little ire in his voice as he thought about the boy’s inevitable outburst or him causing some kind of trouble. Atsuko dropped her head back in a laugh,

“No! I’m not worried about that at all. Personally, I’m excited to teach him. He seems fun.” 

She responded, her smile beaming while Iruka looked at her like she’d grown a second head. She couldn’t for the life of her understand why everyone dreaded being around the boy. Sure he was loud and wild, but she could tell he had a big heart with only good intentions. 

“Well… you may change your tune by the end of the day.” 

Came Iruka’s reply, a nervous smile on his face. Atsuko only chuckled in response, grabbing a pastry from the box and leaning against the black board as she ate and sipped her coffee. She sent him a wink, nerves seemingly forgotten.

“I am not so easily broken, Iruka.” 

Slowly, students began to trickle in. Atsuko remained close to Iruka’s desk as he quietly reminded her of names, pointing at the children as they walked in. Most of them passed by with a simple ‘good morning, Sensei’ some a little groggy, others with more pep. The room was quiet as the seats began to fill up, only the sound of mild chatter as the children discussed their weekends. But when Naruto entered the room, the energy immediately changed. 

Atsuko gave the boy a smile as he walked in and pointed at her, grinning wildly with his eyes scrunched closed. 

“Sasuke’s mom!” 

He called as he approached her, causing several of the children in the room to look in their direction. Atsuko gave him a patient smile as he grew closer.

“Good morning, Naruto. And remember what I told you? You can call me Atsuko-sensei.” 

She responded, already completely enamored with the boys high energy so early in the morning. When he was close enough to be eye level with her waist, he dug around his pockets, face scrunched in determination. He pulled a slip of paper out with a grin, holding it up to her.

“Here! I told you I would pay you back for that bowl of ramen. I found this when I got back home… it was under my pillow.” 

He explained, giving her an awkward smile. She crouched down to be eye level with him, carefully taking the paper from his hands as he smiled at her expectantly. It was that coupon for a free bowl of Ichiraku Ramen he had been searching for. Her heart felt like someone had it in a vice. Such a sweet boy. Nevertheless she chuckled and handed the slip of paper back to him. 

“Why don’t you keep it for now. Then, when you become Hokage, you can buy me a bowl instead.” 

She suggested, watching as his face went from confused to elated. He willingly snatched the coupon back from her, giving her that same thumbs up with the paper clenched in his tiny fist.

“When I’m Hokage, I’ll buy you the biggest bowl of ramen with extra barbecue pork! Believe it, Sasuke’s mom!”

He responded, and Atsuko stood back to full height as he laughed. She reached out to ruffle his hair slightly as he grinned up at her. 

“Deal. And again, it’s Atsuko-sensei.” 

She responded, watching as the boy stuffed the coupon back in his pocket and marched off to take his seat behind Sasuke. Their little conversation had seemingly drawn a couple spectators as she turned back to face the classroom, all seats now full and all eyes on her. She grinned, going to stand in the center of the room, her sandals clicking against the linoleum loudly. She took a breath, forcing her nerves down as she gave a small wave.

“Good morning, class. I’m Atsuko-sensei. I’ll be your teacher this week, covering Genjutsu.” 

She advised, and the children rang back with a 

“Good morning, Atsuko-sensei.” 

She buzzed a little at the sound before continuing. 

“I’d like to get to know all of you a little better before we get started, if that’s alright. We can go around the room and do introductions. I’ll start. I’m Atsuko Kamiyama, a Jonin rank kunoichi. I’m 21 years old and I’ve been a Jonin for about 6 years. I specialize in genjutsu and chakra control. Some of my hobbies include reading, handsome men-“

This drew a giggle from the girls in the room,

“And teaching. Any questions before you start introducing yourselves?” 

She asked, hands clasped in front of her with a soft smile. A hand in the back of the room shot up, she recognized the girl from the files. Sakura Haruno. 

“Yes, Ms. Haruno is it?” 

Atsuko acknowledged, and the pink haired girl nodded quickly. 

“Are you really Sasuke’s mom?”

She asked, voice soft and full of curiosity. The question caught Atsuko a little off guard and a faint blush creeped across her cheeks. She glanced over at Sasuke, who had his head buried in his hands in embarrassment. She chuckled at the sight and returned her attention back to the young girl. 

“No, I am not. I am Sasuke’s trainer and he is living with me for the time being, but I am not his mother.” 

She responded, hoping that would be the end of that question and that the children wouldn’t demand to know the exact nature of their relationship. She watched as Sakura looked over at Sasuke, a little sadness in her big green eyes, before she nodded and accepted the answer. 

“Now… anyone else?” 

Atsuko questioned, eyes scanning the room for any other hands. When no others came up, she nodded. 

“Okay! How about we start on this side-“ 

She was in the middle of gesturing to the side of the room that Sasuke and Naruto were seated on when the blonde haired boy interrupted her, shooting up from his seat in a flourish, arm extended in a thumbs up. 

“Naruto Uzumaki! I’m going to graduate from the academy and become an even better ninja than the third Hokage! My hobbies are eating and trying different kinds of ramen!”

He shouted, causing Atsuko’s eyes to widen momentarily before smiling up at him. He was entirely too cute! She gave him a thumbs up in return,

“Fantastic! It’s wonderful to meet you Naruto.” 

She said, with a wink, watching as the boy sat back down with a blush on his face. She turned back to the rest of the class, giggling. 

“Alright, class. That’s a tough act to follow. Anyone else want to go before I start calling on people?” 

She asked, tilting her head to the side as she regarded them all. A boy in the front row raised his hand quickly, a mess of brown hair as he grinned wildly, showing off his fangs as he stood.

“I’m Kiba Inuzuka! And this is Akamaru-“

He gestured up to the small white dog curled on top of his head. The puppy let out a soft yap and Kiba continued. 

“I’m going to graduate from the academy and become Hokage myself! My hobby is teaching Akamaru new tricks!” 

He stated confidently, his smile reminiscent of a wild animal. Atsuko grinned at the boy in return, 

“Awesome! Naruto, sounds like you have some competition.” 

She called up to the boy, who only glared down at Kiba. She chuckled, turning back to Kiba.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Kiba. And Akamaru. Maybe you can show me some of those tricks during lunch.” 

She suggested, and the brown haired boy absolutely beamed at the suggestion. She glanced back around the room again. One by one, more students introduced themselves, all with their own goals and interests. 

“Choji Akimichi!”

Came another voice, seemingly in the middle of chewing. Atsuko drew her attention to a boy seated in the middle of the room. She was met with a smile, all chubby cheeks and wild light brown hair. He ate from a bag of chips as he continued. 

“I’m going to graduate from the academy too! And become a great Shinobi, just like my dad! My hobby is trying different kinds of pork.” 

He finished, Atsuko returning his smile. 

“It’s great to meet you Choji! I know your father, Chosa. He is a great man. I’m sure you’ll be just like him someday.” 

She complimented, and the boy gave an affirmative nod before sitting back down. To his left, a boy with spiky, dark, hair seemed to be peacefully sleeping. She pointed at him, watching as Choji nudged his friend awake.

“That must mean you’re Shikamaru Nara.” 

She called out, watching as the boy stirred only to give her a bored look and rest his head in his open palm. He hummed in response, a mild acknowledgement. 

“Do you have any future plans or hobbies?” 

She asked, trying to get him to speak up a little. He let out an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes as he responded. 

“Man, what a drag…” 

He mumbled, and Atsuko couldn’t help the quiet laugh that rolled out of her. 

“I like watching the clouds.” 

He finished, seemingly feeling like he’d done just enough to get by. Atsuko nodded slowly, a couple chuckles still bubbling up. 

“That’s lovely, Shikamaru. No future plans?”

She asked, and the boy just shrugged, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. 

“I’m gonna watch the clouds later today. That’s a plan for the future.” 

He snarked back, and Atsuko nodded in agreement. 

“It is, granted, not very far into the future, but a plan nonetheless.” 

She conceded, and Shikamaru seemed to appreciate her response, a small smirk forming on his normally passive face. From behind him came another voice, feminine but strangely commanding. She jerked her head up to see a blonde girl seated directly behind Shikamaru, a set of bright blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Ino Yamanaka. I’m going to graduate from the academy and become one of the best kunoichi in the hidden leaf! My hobby is learning about flowers.” 

She stated with all the conviction of a strong young woman, but still her eyes filtered over to where Sasuke sat, looking for some kind of validation. Atsuko grinned up at her, nodding in agreement and deciding to speak up to stop her obvious staring. 

“With that determination I believe you most certainly will be a wonderful kunoichi! I don’t know much about flowers but I’d love to learn if you’d like to show me sometime.” 

She responded, giving the girl a soft bow as she sat back in her seat with a smug smile. The pink haired girl next to her stood up next, smiling with a soft blush on her cheeks.

“I’m Sakura Haruno… my future plans are…”

Her eyes darted over to where Sasuke sat, giggling. 

“My hobbies… uh…”

She trailed off again, staring at a disinterested Sasuke from across the room. She giggled again, bringing her hands up to cover her face as she sat back down in her chair, practically squealing. Atsuko raised an eyebrow, looking over at Sasuke for a brief moment as he rolled his eyes. She chuckled again, so this was what he meant by the girls bothering him. 

“Those are wonderful goals, Sakura. Even though I’m not quite sure what they are!” 

She replied to the swooning girl, who only ducked her head down as the blush on her face grew. A few more hands shot up as Atsuko got to know each student. After about 15 more minutes of introductions, there were only two kids left in the class who hadn’t voluntarily introduced themselves. 

Her eyes filtered over to a young boy sitting next to Kiba, wearing sunglasses and a coat entirely too big for him. She watched him expectantly for a moment before Kiba elbowed him in the side. The boy finally turned his unreadable gaze to meet her and she gave him a soft smile. 

“Oh… I’m Shino Aburame. My plans for the future are to lead my clan and assist the village. My hobby is studying insects.” 

He said, tone strangely calculating for such a young child. Still, Atsuko nodded, saving her more expressive grin for the other children. 

“The Aburame clan is a part of the backbone of this village. I’m sure you’ll do a fine job in leading them.” 

She responded, the boy gave her a single nod and went back to staring straight ahead. Atsuko’s eyes filtered up to the only student who had yet to introduce themselves. When her eyes landed on the dark haired girl, she was blushing so red Atsuko thought for a brief moment she might be choking. The girl made eye contact with her and her eyes went wide, Atsuko a little taken aback by their pale lavender color. 

As the girl tried to stutter out some kind of introduction, Atsuko gave a patient smile. Not wanting the girl to force herself to speak and make her uncomfortable, she spoke up for her.

“So, you have to be Hinata Hyūga. Do you have any future plans you’d like to share with me?” 

She asked softly, watching as the girl turned her gaze to her hands in her lap, still not speaking up. 

“That’s fine if you’re nervous. I’m sure whatever you’ve got in mind you will make it happen.” 

She encouraged, and the young girl turned her face back up with a nervous smile giving the tiniest,

“T-Thank you…” 

Before looking back down at her hands. Atsuko smiled, eyes raking over the room one more time before clapping her hands together and stepping back to the blackboard as she grabbed a piece of chalk. 

“Okay! It has been lovely getting to know each of you a little. Now, let’s get to the lesson…” 

—————————————————————

The first half of the day was spent teaching the children the definition of Genjutsu and explaining the basics of how it worked. There were a few questions, but most of the kids seemed to pick up on everything pretty quick. Iruka had done an amazing job making sure they were prepared. By the time lunch rolled around, Atsuko found herself swarmed by children. She looked around, a little wide eyed as they all hurled questions at her. Past the wave of students, she noticed Sasuke was trapped in his seat as well, surrounded by bickering girls as they fought over who he would eat lunch with. 

“Hey Atsuko-sensei! Want to eat lunch with me and I can show you some of Akamaru and me’s tricks!”

Kiba piped up, staring up at her with a challenging glint in his eyes, and just as she went to answer him, another voice rang out behind her. 

“No way, Kiba! Atsuko-sensei said she wanted me to teach her about flowers!”

Came Ino’s reply, then another voice chimed in, louder than the other two and clearly belonging to Naruto.

“You’re both wrong! Sasuke’s mom is going to have ramen with me!” 

Atsuko’s head whipped around, honestly a little dizzy from all the commotion and unsure of where to start with answering their questions, as well as the ones coming from some of the other children. About her life and abilities. Eventually, a voice of reason broke through the crowd. 

“Hey kids! This is Atsuko-sensei’s first day. Let’s give her some breathing room, okay?”

Iruka called, wiggling his way through the small crowd and standing between her and the students. He gave them each a questioning look, waiting for the back talk. Instead, all of the children just grumbled something akin to 

“Yes, Iruka-sensei…” 

Before heading towards the exit of the classroom. She glanced over Iruka’s shoulder, to see Sasuke was still planted in his seat, face unimpressed and distant, as the girls around him bickered. 

“Ladies! I hate to break up the competition but, unfortunately, Sasuke is my lunch date today.” 

She called, all of the girls' heads whipping to look in her direction. A couple of them blushed, before seemingly conceding and making their way out of the classroom in a flurry of soft chatter and dejected mumbles. Sasuke let out a soft sigh of relief and stood from his seat as well, grabbing his bag and making his way to the door, leaning against the frame with his hands in his pockets as he waited for Atsuko, giving her a slight nod of thanks. 

Atsuko returned the gesture and turned her attention back to Iruka. 

“Thank you for saving me back there.” 

She said, tone thankful and weary. Iruka dropped his head back and barked out a full body laugh.

“Anytime! You’re doing great though, they really seem to like you.” 

He complimented and she nodded, eyes widening.

“A little too much, it would seem.” 

She snarked, drawing another chuckle from the man. She smiled back at him, 

“If you’d like to join Sasuke and I for lunch, you’re more than welcome.” 

She offered, and Iruka shook his head with a smile. 

“Thank you for the offer but I have some paperwork to catch up on. I’ll see you guys in an hour.” 

He responded, and Atsuko gave a nod before heading to where Sasuke stood waiting for her. He fell into step beside her as they exited the room, walking down the hallway that was full of idle, childlike, chatter. She took a deep breath, regrounding herself. The kids were all so sweet, but just keeping up appearances was a little exhausting. The sun filtered in through the windows of the academy, casting sections of rectangular light and thin shadows. She focused on the sound of feet against the linoleum and the fleeting feeling of warmth from walking through those rectangles of sunlight. After a few moments, the tension in her shoulders eased and she let out the breath she’d been holding. 

“That was a lot.” 

She said, and caught Sasuke’s nod out of the corner of her eye. 

“You’re too nice.” 

He told her, and she gave a humorless chuckle. 

“You’re too distant.” 

She fired back, and the boy let out a huff through his nose. She smiled down at him as he walked beside her, reaching a hand out to ruffle his hair gently. 

“Besides, all of your classmates seem like really sweet kids. But I am starting to see what you mean about the girls not leaving you alone.” 

She teased and Sasuke let out another scoff. 

“They’re annoying…” 

He grumbled, and she nodded in agreement this time. 

“Yeah, if that happens everyday for you I can imagine it would be pretty annoying. My offer to publicly embarrass you still stands. Maybe I can embarrass myself in the process and shake my little posse too.” 

She suggested, drawing a light chuckle from the stoic boy. It was strange, she thought. How at home, he was a little more open with his smiles and laughs, then when he got to school it was all business and scowls. She knew this was his way of approaching the world for now. Stone cold and hard before anyone else could hurt him… if he thought he was above everyone else, then there would never be an opportunity for vulnerability. In addition to that, what he experienced had matured him far beyond his peers. Most of them still held onto that childlike innocence, Sasuke couldn’t afford to do that anymore. 

As they exited the building to the school yard, Sasuke took the lead, seemingly guiding her to his typical lunch spot. In the corner of the yard, under a large oak tree, was a small patch of well worn earth. He immediately sat down in the dirt patch, pulling out his lunch box as Atsuko joined him in the shade, her back resting against the tree. They started to eat in silence, people watching as different groups of giggling children passed through the yard. 

“Is this where you always eat lunch?” 

She asked, and Sasuke nodded, swallowing a bite of rice. She hummed in approval, taking a bite of her own meal. 

“So… are you friends with any of the kids in class? I noticed there is only one dirt patch here… you eat by yourself everyday?”

She asked, and Sasuke shrugged.

“Yeah. I don’t have friends.” 

He responded, and she gave him a look of utter astonishment. She knew he always complained about how the kids in class were annoying, but she never thought he spent most of his day alone. Even in class, she noticed, he was quiet and withdrawn. What must be kicking around in his head with little to no distractions other than coursework. 

“Don’t you… want friends?” 

She asked, knowing it was impossible for the other children to dislike him if he were to be his authentic self. He was naturally quiet, sure, but very perceptive and pretty damn funny at times. He could have them eating out of the palm of his hand if he wanted to. The girls who seemed obsessed with him, however, were only drawn to his mystery. So that attention wasn’t genuine. 

She turned to look at Sasuke, who gave another shrug. 

“Not really. They’re all annoying.” 

He commented, and she shook her head, not accepting the answer. 

“I understand you may feel like… like you need to be closed off and hard to people to keep them away… but I promise, Sasuke, in the long run that’s only going to hurt you.” 

She noticed he’d stopped eating as he stared down at the lunchbox in his lap. 

“I know you’re quiet and reserved naturally… but if you just opened up a little to these kids you might find you actually like them… and I know for a fact they would like you. And I don’t mean like those girls do. They’re just infatuated with this mysterious persona you’ve created. I mean they would genuinely like you, for you.”

She finished, watching him intently as he stared down at his lap. A silence fell between them as she waited for a reply. The only sound was a breeze that came through, rustling the top of the tree they sat under. The shadows danced across Sasuke’s sulking form and Atsuko realized her breathing had grown shallow. The silence that fell between them was not unlike the one from his first weeks with her. Like if either one of them spoke now, it would shatter their little reality and allow the physical world back in. A strong gust blew across the grounds, sending a bright orange leaf down from the tree tops above them. She watched as it fluttered in the wind, finally coming to a rest on top of Sasuke’s head. Atsuko sighed, pulled from their silent stand off as she reached out to pluck it from his hair and then turned to hold it out in her palm, letting it go with the wind again. 

“Sasuke… I just want you to understand that… what happened. You won’t be able to move on and heal if you keep pushing people away. We’re all here for a reason. To protect and help the people that are precious to us. Even if it’s in a roundabout way, you’ll find that having people you care about around you, helps you heal.” 

This seemed to elicit a reaction from the boy, who finally piped up, hissing out a reply. 

“Maybe I don’t want to move on and heal.” 

Atsuko’s eyes went wide, and she sat up straight, pulling back from him a little in her shock. She hadn’t heard him talk like that… ever. But she knew exactly what he meant as soon as he said it. He didn’t want to move on, to forget. He wanted to hold that pain close to him, to let it fester so he could draw strength from it. So he could pursue revenge with that fiery hatred fueling him. He wanted revenge for his clan. That really was what was pushing him through his training. She swallowed hard, unsure of how to respond. This was what she was most afraid of… and she had no idea how to handle it. 

“Sasuke… I-“

She was cut off before she could even finish her still forming sentence as Sasuke shot up to his feet, slamming his lunch box shut in the process and storming off across the field with it in hand. Atsuko was left to stare at his back and the fading image of the Uchiha crest as he vanished back into the school house. She dropped her head forward with a shaky sigh, bringing her knees up and burying her face in them. Her bottom lip began to tremble and, before she even had a chance to register them, the tears started and soon her body was racked with soft sobs. 

Finally, everything started to realize, the walls she’d built to keep everything in its place had come crumbling down. In all the time she’d spent alone since taking Sasuke in, she’d never really processed everything. The loss of her student and friends, the weight of being responsible for Sasuke, and the complete 180 her life had done in the recent months. She had just fallen into step and let the chips fall where they may, moving on to the next day. And the next one. And so on. But Sasuke’s words rang in her ears, deafening. Like the beat of silence right before witnessing something terrible happen, knowing what’s coming but being powerless to stop it. Then the rush of chaotic sound when the shock wore off and the senses came back, overwhelming and thunderous. 

As she sobbed, her throat burned and her chest ached. She had come to care for Sasuke so deeply, and to hear him say that… to know what he must constantly be feeling and thinking day in and day out, it gutted her. The situation was only made worse when she realized she had no idea how to help him. She couldn’t tell him the truth and all the peaceful nights sleep in the world wouldn’t be able to change his mind. She didn’t search for the answer in this moment, rather just letting the waves of emotion rock over her. 

Eventually, she managed to calm herself down. Taking deep breaths and sniffling slightly as she focused on reigning her emotions in. She tried to remind herself of where she was to force the tears to stop, but they continued to roll steadily down her cheeks. She barely recognized the sound of feet approaching her, but she didn’t look up. Until a small voice asked,

“Hey, Sasuke’s mom… are you okay?” 

Naruto… she wiped at her cheeks quickly, taking another steadying breath and steeling herself before turning her face to look at him with a sad smile. When her eyes readjusted to the light, she realized it wasn’t just Naruto. He was standing in front of a small group of boys. Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba and Akamaru all stood behind him with varying degrees of concern on their face. Shikamaru looked the least bothered, with his hands stuffed in his pockets, but he still had his head slightly tilted to the side, his sharp eyebrows drawn together. Choji’s eyes were a little wide as he looked her over, concern etched into his soft features. Kiba looked almost angry, a deep frown tugging down that perpetual smirk. Then her eyes finally landed on Naruto, who regarded her with that same scrutinizing expression he had worn the night she’d handed him the money. 

After her eyes had filtered between them, she focused back on Naruto, nodding as she carefully wiped at her cheeks. 

“Yes, I’m okay, Naruto. Thank you for asking.” 

She said, but her voice was still a little shaky. He still gave her that unfiltered, suspicious, stare. 

“But you’re crying?” 

He stated the obvious. It was so blunt, she let out a humorless chuckle, a couple more tears rolling down her cheeks against her will. 

“Yeah, a little. But I’m okay, I promise…”

She tried to reassure him and, surprisingly, Shikamaru was the next one to speak up, the boys all turning their heads to look at him. 

“Isn’t this where Sasuke eats lunch everyday?” 

And it only took that small sentence for all hell to break loose. Immediately, Naruto’s head snapped back to look at Atsuko, matching Kiba’s irate expression. 

“Did Sasuke say something to make you cry!?”

He shouted, a mix of anger and disbelief. Kiba was next,

“That guy is such a jerk! Making his own mom cry?!”

He shouted, as Naruto and Choji nodded in eager agreement, all 4 of them looking ready to hunt the boy down. She raised her hands defensively in an attempt to rein them in. 

“Woah, hey. Sasuke didn’t make me cry, you guys. Calm down, please…” 

She advised, watching as they all deflated a little, losing the puffed up chests and relaxing slightly. She knew they would be looking for an explanation for her tears, and she sure as hell couldn’t tell them the truth. In a panic, she thought of a lie she figured would get them off her case.

“Really, thank you all for checking on me… I’m fine, just uh… boyfriend troubles.” 

She stuttered out, giving them a nervous smile she prayed they believed. Kiba gave a scoff, crossing his arms as he barked out,

“Any guy who would make you cry like that isn’t a good boyfriend.” 

All of the boys nodded in agreement. She let out another wet chuckle, wiping her cheeks. They all really did mean well.

“Yeah, I’m thinking the same thing…”

She replied, sitting for a moment more as she sniffled and dried her eyes. The boys watched her intently as she did so, and she found it was strangely comforting. Nevertheless, she pulled herself to her feet and dusted the dirt off of her pants. 

“Thank you all for checking on me. That was very sweet of you. But I promise I’m okay.”

She let them know, feeling the way they watched her a little nervously. 

“Well… actually, we came to ask you something.” 

Naruto piped up, looking up at her, some uncertainty in his eyes before he flashed her that blinding smile. 

“We wanted to see if you wanted to come eat lunch with us!” 

Atsuko stared down at him, her brain still a little foggy after being raked with such raw emotion. When the words registered, her eyes filtered between all of their faces as they all looked at her expectantly. Her gaze darted back up to look across the field and the doors of the academy… Sasuke… should she track him down and try to have a terribly difficult conversation in the middle of a school day? Or have lunch with her students and save the conversation for after class? It felt wrong, knowing Sasuke was by himself hurting somewhere, but she really didn’t think he would be receptive to anything she had to say right now. Slowly, she nodded her head, looking back down at the boys with a barely there smile. 

“Sure… I’d love to have lunch with you guys. As long as you don’t mind being seen with your teary eyed sensei.” 

She responded, smiling a little more as Naruto shook his head wildly. 

“Nope!” 

He responded immediately, grin growing impossibly wider. She gave a nod, collecting her lunchbox from the ground and tucking it under her arm, only to have Naruto reach out and grasp her hand tightly, small fingers nearly crushing her own. He started to drag her in the direction of the Academy, the other boys following close at their heels.

“C’mon! Shikamaru showed us this place on the roof where we can eat!” 

He babbled enthusiastically as Atsuko stared at the back of his head in wide eyed surprise, still a little out of it as her brain struggled to balance chemicals. This was going to be interesting. 

————————————————————-

Naruto hadn’t been lying about the spot on the roof. He guided her up several staircases inside the Academy until they came to a large metal door. He pushed it open with all the strength his tiny body could muster, the door creaking and groaning loudly as the staircase flooded with light. Once her eyes adjusted, she saw the spot Shikamaru had apparently told the other boys about. On the roof of the building were a few small awnings and picnic tables, apparently a place that used to house students and teachers alike, but hadn't seen much use in a while based on the overabundant rust and dust. The boys select a picnic table with 5 small benches attached, all taking their respective seats and digging in to their lunches. With the exception of Shikamaru, who laid down on his bench seat and occasionally poked his hand up to the top of the table to swipe one of Choji’s chips. 

Atsuko spent the next 45 minutes listening and watching as the 4 boys ate and bickered. Her appetite non-existent after the episode, she just sat and observed. Occasionally, one of the boys would ask her a question, about Genjutsu or her Shinobi work, she’d provide an answer, and continue to watch as they discussed. Despite her mind running over with concerns for Sasuke and plans for how she would approach him later, she managed to keep up with the conversation and even learn a little about the boys in front of her. Naruto was the loudest of the group, often shouting and getting into quick heated arguments with the second loudest, Kiba. Shikamaru seemed to be the voice of reason, speaking up occasionally from under the table and bringing a quick close to most of the arguments by either picking a side and deflating whichever boy he didn't agree with, or simply telling them both to shut up. Choji seemed to be content observing as well, quietly munching on food and every so often offering up a silly one liner or agreeing with Shikamaru’s assessment that Kiba and Naruto were being too loud. She found herself slowly relaxing, laughing a little at the petty arguments and snide remarks. At one point, Kiba turned to her and asked what it felt like to be under a Genjutsu. 

She hummed in thought before responding. 

“Well, you don’t really feel anything unless the caster decides they want you to… For instance, Genjutsu has often been used as a… well, to be frank, a form of torture to get information from people. The caster can make you feel like you’re in pain, without even touching you. Or they can make you feel like something is tickling you. It’s really limitless in that regard if the caster is good at what they do.”

She answered, all of the boys nodding in thought. Naruto piped up next, 

“So, it’s just like a dream?”

He asked, and she nodded in response. 

“Yes. It affects your mind and the chakra that is connected to each of your five senses. So just like you may have a really realistic dream, where you can smell the grass, or feel the water of a stream running through your fingers, it's the same idea. Your physical body remains still as the caster manipulates your mind, like a dream does when you sleep.”

She answered, a little simplified but getting the point across. Choji spoke up, voice excited like he finally connected the dots. 

“Like when you have a dream you’re using the bathroom and you actually pee the bed in real life!”

He said, making Atsuko laugh as the other boys all shouted varying degrees of ‘Gross!’ or ‘Atsuko-sensei is a lady! Don’t say that kind of stuff in front of her!’. Her laugh died down to a chuckle and she nodded with a shrug, looking over at a now blushing Choji. 

“Yeah, I guess you could say it’s kind of like that. Your brain makes you feel the sensation of using the bathroom in your dream, so your body reacts to that feeling. When we go back to class, maybe I can put one of you under a Genjutsu for a demonstration, if you’d like. Nothing scary, I promise.”

She suggested, and immediately all of them nodded eagerly, discussing with each other what they thought it would feel like or what they would see. She smiled to herself as the rest of the lunch continued the same. 

When it came time for them to return to class, Atsuko led the boys into the room. As they entered the classroom, the boys continued their lively chatter while they made their way back to their seats. They weren’t the last ones back and there were still a few minutes before class started back up. Her eyes immediately darted over to Sasuke’s seat, seeing him seated and letting out a gentle sigh of relief. She approached him but he didn’t turn his head up from where it was cradled in his intertwined fingers to even acknowledge her. She crouched down next to the side of his desk, trying to catch his eye. When he still didn’t turn to look at her, she let out a soft breath but spoke anyway. 

“Sasuke, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings before. I just… Well, there’s a lot I want to say but there’s not a whole lot of time to say it right now. Just know that I only want the best for you, and I love you, okay?”

She asked quietly, watching his face for any reaction. His eyes darted over quickly to look at her before focusing back straight ahead, face as impassive as ever. Clearly not ready to talk to her or accept her apology. A sharp pain ran through her heart as she stood back to full height. Still, she gave him a sad smile, having to physically resist the urge to press a kiss to the crown of his head. Instead, she just added,

“Okay… we can talk about it when we get home.”

Before turning to descend the stairs back to the front of the classroom. Iruka looked up at her from his desk, raising an eyebrow in question. She just returned it with a weary sigh and a shrug. In reality, Sasuke’s complete disregard of her in that moment had carved a hole in her chest and she felt her stomach tightening into painful knots. Still, she had to continue with her day and put on a brave face. As the classroom began to slowly fill up again, she tried her best to push the feelings of rejection and fear down, instead focusing on the remainder of the lesson. 

After all of the students were settled back in their respective seats and the mild chatter died down, Atsuko took her place back in front of the classroom. 

“Afternoon! I hope everyone had a good lunch?”

She proposed to the class and they returned her question with affirmation. She nodded, clasping her hands in front of her as she paced slightly. 

“Good to hear. Now, for the rest of the day, I plan on doing a little demonstration. Some of your classmates asked me what it felt like to be placed under a genjutsu, so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to show everyone. I’m going to need a few volunteers who feel they would be able to describe their experience to the class afterwards.”

As she finished, several hands had already shot straight up into the air. She figured, since they were children with little chakra and they weren’t actively resisting, she could put several of them under with little chakra depletion on her part. She glanced around at the hands in the air and began calling on students. 

“Kiba, Naruto, Choji, since you were the ones who asked the question, come on up…”

She instructed, watching as each boy bounded to the front of the room, a bounce in their step as they exchanged excited smiles. She looked around for a few more participants, seeing only two hands remaining in the air. 

“Ino, Sakura. You can both come down as well… Shikamaru? You were a part of the group that asked me the question, do you not want to volunteer?”

She asked, eyes focused on the dark haired boy who was leaned back in his chair again, arms crossed. 

“Nah, sounds like too much work.” 

He responded and Atsuko shrugged, conceding easily. 

“Well, if you or anyone else changes their mind please let me know.”

She stated, turning her attention to the 5 students who now stood in front of her. Naruto, Choji and Kiba seemed the most excited, practically bouncing on the balls of their feet. Ino had put on a brave face, that Sakura seemed to copy, even with a slight blush on her cheeks. She had them all turn around so they were facing the class, equally spaced out. She paced in front of them, launching into an explanation of what she was about to do. 

“Okay… I will be placing each of our lovely volunteers under a different genjutsu. To do this, I will be manipulating the chakra connected to each of their five senses. Chakra manipulation in this form is a little tricky, but we will cover the specifics of how it's done later in the week. For now, I want you all to focus on the expressions of our volunteers. If you are ever on a mission and your comrade is placed under a genjutsu and unable to continue battle, being able to recognize what is happening by their facial expressions may save your life someday. After I have released each of them, I will be asking them to describe what they experienced based on the 5 senses. Sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Sound good?”

She asked, the students who had remained seated nodded, and her group of volunteers did as well, all standing at attention and a little rigid in place. She took this as her acceptance and moved to face the volunteers, her back to the rest of the class. 

“Now, the easiest way for me to place you under a genjutsu would be to touch you. If I make physical contact I can use my own chakra to affect yours. There are other ways to do this, but for the sake of the lesson, I will be placing a hand on each of your heads.”

The volunteers nodded in unison, so she began. 

Atsuko reached out and touched Ino’s forehead first, watching as the girl's bright blue eyes almost immediately became glassy and her muscles slacked. Her blonde hair shifted into a curtain around her face as her head fell forward, but she remained standing, eyes fixed straight ahead. Atsuko took a step back to allow the class to see the girl and study her expression. 

“See, Ino is currently under my genjutsu. She almost looks like she’s fallen asleep standing upright. Take note of the way her muscles have relaxed and her eyes have lost their light a little.”

She instructed, turning over her shoulder to see a couple of the students shifting uncomfortably in their seats. It wasn’t a pretty sight. Seeing a friend look so gaunt and near lifeless. But it was the reality of Genjutsu and them seeing her expression was important to recognizing it on the battlefield. Slowly, she moved down the line and placed all five students under a different Genjutsu. First Sakura, then Choji, Kiba and… 

Her hand instinctively jerked away from Naruto as soon as she had come into contact with his forehead, a slight gasp escaping her. The boy tilted his head, eyes wide as he looked up at her. His chakra was… unreal! For a child so young, to have that much chakra was unheard of. On second thought, forget that he was a child. She had never felt anything like this before, in all her years of Shinobi work. Not only was his chakra off the charts, it was STRONG. Then she remembered, this little boy was host to the Nine-Tails… that had to be it. 

She noticed she’d been quiet for entirely too long, staring at Naruto in utter astonishment. The boy was speaking, she realized and she forced herself to focus on the sound. 

“Hey! Sasuke’s mom! What’s wrong?”

He was shouting, seconds from a full meltdown. She forced her tense muscles to relax as she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat, shaking her head. 

“Oh! Nothing, Naruto you just… You have more chakra than I was expecting. It’s not a bad thing.”

She assured, giving him a nervous smile and watching as the boy went from mildly terrified to full of pride. He flashed her his teeth in a smirk, eye closing. 

“Awesome! Hear that, Iruka-sensei! I have so much chakra that it surprised Sasuke’s mom!”

He shouted over his shoulder, and Atsuko turned her eyes up to meet Iruka’s where he sat at the desk behind the boy. He seemed to be sweating bullets, wide eyed as he met her gaze and then turned his focus back to Naruto. Of course Iruka knew what Naruto was… she remembered his parents had been among the casualties during the Nine-Tails attack.

“I- that’s great Naruto…”

He stuttered out, giving Atsuko another worried look before she turned her attention back to the boy, entirely too nervous to continue this conversation. She knew what Naruto was, and she also knew they were not to speak of it. 

“Uh, okay, here Naruto let me try again.”

She said, reaching out a hand to place it on his forehead before he could say anything more. Now that she knew what she was dealing with, she managed to put him under the Genjutsu like his classmates, letting out a sigh of relief when her hand came away and Naruto wore the same glassy eyed expression as his peers. 

She took a step back, letting them all stay in that position for a few more moments as she forced herself to address the class, voice still a tad shaky. 

“Okay. So notice they all have the same expression as Ino did in the beginning. If you are to recognize that one of your comrades has fallen prey to a Genjutsu, you may be able to assist in breaking the trance. All it would take is another burst of chakra to shock their systems back into working order. When we cover chakra control Wednesday, I’ll show you how that’s done. For now, I will release the genjutsu.”

She said, closing her eyes and focusing on releasing each of the volunteer’s chakras one by one. Once she opened her eyes, they were all looking around mildly confused, but smiling nonetheless. Kiba was even giggling slightly. Atsuko gave them all a smile and started with Ino. 

“Okay, Ino, can you explain to the class what happened? Remember the five senses. Tell me what you felt, saw, heard, smelt, and tasted.”

She instructed, watching as Ino gave a slow blink, still slightly readjusting before giving her a nod in the affirmative. She smiled, responding in that same commanding tone from before. 

“I was in a sunny field… surrounded by flowers on a picnic blanket. There were pastries and lemonade, and I could taste them when I bit into one. I also heard birds chirping and the wind blowing against the grass… but… something was wrong.”

She stated, brow furrowed as she tried to put her finger on what was wrong. Atsuko looked at her expectantly and nodded for her to continue. Ino spoke up again, 

“The flowers in the field looked like bellflowers, but when I picked one to smell it… it wasn’t right. It smelled like a rose?”

She said and Atsuko nodded eagerly, clapping her hands together, excited that the girl had picked up on the small detail. 

“Very good, Ino! Placing someone under a Genjutsu has limitations. The scene I create for you has to come from knowledge I already have, and if I am lacking the proper information, things may seem wrong. For instance, the flowers. I told you earlier that I didn’t know much about flowers and that was true. I knew what bellflowers looked like, but couldn’t recall their scent. So I applied a flower scent that I was familiar with. Does that make sense?”

She asked Ino, then turning to direct the question to the class. She was met with a few confused faces, so she nodded, trying to explain it a little better. 

“Okay. Say, for instance, I asked each of you to draw me a picture of a bellflower. How many of you would know exactly what one was supposed to look like?”

She asked, watching a couple kids raise their hands, but not everyone. She continued, 

“See, that's a gap in your knowledge. Some of you know what one looks like, some of you don’t. Some of your pictures would be accurate and look like the flower, but some of them wouldn’t and the only people who would be able to tell the difference would be the ones who knew what to look for. The same thing happens when I create a Genjutsu. It’s like painting a picture from memory. I have to make it as realistic as possible so the person I am casting it on doesn’t realize that it's fake and try to break the Genjutsu. If this had been a real fight scenario and Ino noticed that I had gotten the smell of a bellflower wrong, she could have realized she was placed under a Genjutsu and released herself from it. A Genjutsu user has to be able to pick up on small details and paint a convincing picture, or a gap in their knowledge might make them lose their edge in a fight.”

She explained, eyes filtering between the seated children and Ino, who seemed to at least partially understand what she was trying to say. Rather than try and continue explaining the technicalities, she instead moved on to the next in line. Sakura had been placed under a similar Genjutsu to Ino, a picnic in the woods. She had picked up on the difference Atsuko planted as well, the lemonade she was drinking tasted like blueberries instead. Then Kiba and Choji explained theirs, though neither of them had realized the subtle differences she’d crafted. When it finally got around to Naruto, he was uncharacteristically quiet, a warm smile on his face as he stared down at the ground.

“Naruto, tell the class what your Genjutsu was like.” 

She instructed, returning his smile as she waited patiently. The boy raised his head, those big blue eyes were a little droopy, a relaxed and loving sparkle in them as he grinned up at her. 

“I... I was at Ichraku Ramen. You were there, Sasuke’s mom. And Sasuke, and Shikamaru, and Choji... and Kiba, and Iruka-sensei!”

He rattled off, still giving that adoring smile but seemingly regaining some of his natural pep. Atsuko nodded, responding softly,

“Alright, and what did you taste, smell and hear?”

She asked, watching as Naruto’s eyes widened and that blinding grin broke across his features.

“I could smell the barbecue pork! And I could hear the sounds of everyone eating and the pots in the shop... but the taste was wrong! The ramen tasted like nothing, just hot water!”

He exclaimed, beaming with pride in his deductive abilities. Atsuko chuckled at that self assured grin and nodded in agreement.

“Very good Naruto! I’ve only had Ichiraku a handful of times. So when I crafted that Genjutsu for you, I couldn’t really remember what the food tasted like.”

She explained, and the boy nodded eagerly, giving her a thumbs up as a little giggle accompanied that blinding grin. 

After each of the volunteers had given their accounts and returned to their seats, a couple more students asked if she would place them under Genjutsu. She obliged and by the time it was all said and done, every single student had been placed under and given their own descriptions. With the school day nearing an end, Atsuko gave her final wrap up speech, letting all the children know they had done wonderfully and giving them the homework of going home and writing a detailed description of a room in their house, or their backyard, focusing on the five senses. To show them the importance of detail and maybe gear some of their minds towards making these perceptions an every day habit. 

Class dismissed for the day, and as the students ran out, Naruto hung behind a little, stopping to talk to her before he left.

“Thanks for having lunch with us, Sasuke’s mom! Tomorrow, we should go eat at Ichiraku so you can remember what it tastes like! It’s the best ramen ever!”

He exclaimed, and again she crouched to be eye level with him, reaching out a hand to ruffle his hair. 

“Alright, it’s a date then. We’ll have Ichiraku for lunch tomorrow. Now, go on. I think your friends are waiting for you.” 

She encouraged, glancing at the door to the hallway where the lunch group from before were standing and waiting, smiling at them. Naruto gave an affirmative nod and sprinted out, the group of boys in tow. She watched him go with a smile, then rose back to full height with a sigh of relief. A hand came to grab her shoulder and she turned to see Iruka standing behind her, beaming with pride. 

“You did an amazing job today, Atsuko. I’ve never seen the kids open up like that. They really loved you. Especially Naruto, it would seem.” 

He ended with a chuckle as he removed his hand. Atsuko giggled a little and nodded in agreement, returning his beaming grin with a thankful smile of her own.

“Thank you, Iruka. Yes, it would seem Naruto’s taken a liking to me. He’s really such a sweet boy, ya know.”

She said, and Iruka gave a reluctant nod. 

“I will say his outbursts were few and far between today. Maybe that speaks for itself.” 

Atsuko nodded in agreement, eyes filtering over to the seat the boy had occupied all day. That was no coincidence. She knew Naruto only had those outbursts because he was trying to get someone to take notice of him. So, because she paid him special attention throughout the day, he didn’t feel the need to interrupt or be overly loud. Atsuko and Iruka continued to discuss the day, as well as loosely go over her plans for the rest of the week. 

She was so enraptured in their conversation that she didn’t noticed Sasuke making his way out the door until she turned and noticed he wasn’t waiting in his seat anymore. She stopped mid sentence and whipped her head towards the door, catching a glimpse of black and blue before calling out.

“Sasuke! Wait up!”

But the sounds of receding footsteps didn’t stop. She let out a slight groan, turning back to Iruka apologetically. 

“I’m sorry. He’s... I’ve got to go.” 

She explained, quickly gathering her lunchbox and coffee cup before rushing out the door. She saw him down the locker lined hallway, his back to her as he continued walking with his hands buried in his pockets. 

“Sasuke! Slow down.” 

She called out, but still the boy didn’t stop. She stopped in her tracks, staring at his slowly receding back, wide eyed. The shock quickly dissipated and anger moved into its place, her nerves buzzing. With the general stress of the day combined with their confrontation earlier and his attitude in this moment, she’d had enough. In the literal blink of an eye, she was standing in front him, having seemingly appeared out of thin air. There were a few beats of tense silence, the hallways empty of any other students and full of orange light cast by the slowly setting sun. She stood in front of him, staring down at the top of his head as he refused to even look up at her. After a few more tense moments, Sasuke side stepped, intent on just walking around her. Her arm flew out as he moved to pass by and gripped his shoulder a little more harshly than intended. 

“Absolutely not. We’re talking about this. Now.”

She stated, her anger laced into her words as she spat the sentence out through gritted teeth. Sasuke finally turned his head to look at her, meeting that same energy with the glare he fixed her with. She turned around to face the direction he was, her other hand coming to grab his shoulder as she guided him down the hallway, the sound of hurried sandals on linoleum echoing around them. When they reached the main doors and exited the building, Atsuko guided him back to the tree they’d sat under today, giving his shoulder a gentle nudge as she released her iron grip. 

“Sit.” 

She instructed, watching as the boy flopped down in a huff, arms coming up to cross over his chest and glaring down at his lap. There was another gap of silence as both of them seethed, the energy enveloping them whole and feeding one another’s anger in this silent but vicious stand off. Finally, a breeze blew through and the sound of rattling leaves broke Atsuko’s concentration on her own anger, allowing for a wave of calm to run quickly through her. She took a deep breath and sat down across from Sasuke, setting her cup and files down beside her in the grass. 

“Tell me what’s going on in your head right now.” 

She said, effectively breaking the silence and working hard to calm herself down as she took several steadying breaths. Sasuke didn’t respond at first, and she shrugged. 

“Alright. We’ll sit here until you do. Don’t even think about walking away again, I’m faster.” 

She reminded, leaning back and burying her hands in the lush grass behind her to prop herself up. Her anger slowly faded as the silence dragged on and without that oppressive feeling clawing at her throat, she was able to finally think freely. She wanted to talk this out with him before they got home, not too keen on the idea of a night full of passive aggressive glances and slamming of doors. On top of that, their discussion at lunch had been gnawing a hole in her stomach all day, painful and heavy. It was driving her a little crazy, the silence that stretched on between them. But he had to speak first. It couldn’t be her. Mostly because she had no idea where to start or what to say until he gave her something to work with. 

Her fingers clenched in the grass, kneading the ground slowly as a way to expend the last of that hostile energy. She regarded the boy in front of her, still scowling down at his lap but his small shoulders seemed to have relaxed a little, and his arms weren’t crossed over his chest anymore. Instead he was doing the same as her, pulling at the grass on either side of him with his fingers. Another cool wind swirled around them, kicking up dead leaves and blades of grass. Finally, she heard the telltale sign of a harsh swallow come from the young boy, and his lips parted to speak. 

“I... you have no idea what this feels like.” 

He muttered, ire still heavily present in his tone. Surprisingly, Atsuko relaxed a little at his words and gave a nod for him to continue. 

“Then explain it to me.” 

She responded, watching as the boys face scrunched up like she’d punched him in the gut. Another beat of silence before he spoke again, like the words were being forced from his chest.

“To have my whole family... taken... no, killed. By my own... by Itachi. While I wasn’t able to do anything...” 

He reached a hand up to grasp at the front of his shirt, violently bunching the material together in a tight fist right over his heart. When he spoke again, it was like the dam had broken. His voice was louder now, full of anguish as he spat out his next words.

“It hurts! He took them from me! Murdered his own parents! My parents! I can’t just heal and move on from that! Having friends or fam-... that doesn’t change what he did! It doesn’t bring them back!” 

Atsuko listened patiently, every single one of his words in that broken voice like a knife to the heart. She noticed he was crying, but didn’t move to comfort him yet. Letting him continue. 

“I have to... I have to avenge them! My parents, my clan! I have to make Itachi pay for what he did! That means I have to become stronger than him!”

Sasuke took a stuttering breath at that last line, tears falling openly now. Some of that anger seemed to have fizzled out, only leaving room for sorrow to move in and take its place. He took a couple breaths, squeezing his eyes shut tight in an attempt to make the tears stop, but they just kept coming. 

“That’s why I can’t have friends... they’ll just hold me back from what I need to do...” 

He finally managed out, voice now soft and defeated. Atsuko hadn’t realized it, but tears flowed down her cheeks as well. When it seemed like he’d finally gotten out what he needed to say, she scooted around to sit next to him, wrapping an arm over his shoulders as he began to sob and his body shook with the force of it. She pulled him close to her, allowing him to bury his face in her neck as he cried, his hands coming up to clutch at her vest. She brought both arms up to wrap around him and turned to bury her nose in his hair, listening as his sobs vibrated against her chest.

In this moment, she had no words to help him. Nothing encouraging to say or advice on how to move forward. The secret she kept from him burned in her throat. Itachi may have been the instrument to the Uchiha’s destruction, but the people really responsible sat comfortably above the village. When Sasuke spoke about vengeance against Itachi, she felt his anguish as if it were her own. So much so that her muscles ached from the tension and weight of it. If she told him the truth, they could take down the people who were really at fault... though it would likely mean the destruction of the village as a whole. Again she found herself torn. She didn’t want to watch Sasuke lose himself in this quest for vengeance, and she most certainly didn’t want either of them to kill each other. Images flooded her mind unprovoked. Sasuke gripping Itachi in a bruising hug when they came from training, giggling and prattling on about missing him. Itachi carrying Sasuke home after a training session, the young boy draped over his back as they talked. 

She wanted nothing more than to ask Itachi what he had planned, exactly what he wanted her to do. Was she supposed to assist Sasuke in this goal and likely bring about Itachi’s death? Or was she supposed to show him why it was the wrong choice, to help him heal. But he wasn’t here and she couldn’t ask him those things. So instead, she pulled Sasuke closer, his sobs slowly dying down to just soft cries as the wind lulled them both back to a reluctant calm. 

“Sasuke... listen to me...”

She spoke softly, listening as the boy sniffled in her arms. 

“I want- no, I need you to understand something... I am going to do everything in my power to make sure you get stronger every day... and friends, family... they don’t hold you back. They help you persevere. Just like I’m going to help you train and just like I’m comforting you now. You’re right. I don’t relate to your pain, and I can only imagine how much you’re hurting... but, because I love you and consider you my family, I want to help you. To comfort you. To push you forward and help you achieve your goals. And I’m going to live my life in service of that love.”

She promised, her hand rubbing his back slowly as his muscles relaxed. 

“And I’m not the only one. There are other people who would do the same for you if you gave them the chance. So, please, don’t turn your back on us. I may not understand exactly, but I hurt when you hurt. And all I ever want to do is help you, okay?” 

She finished, feeling the boy nod slowly against her neck. She was content with what she told him and his grip on her hadn’t loosened. So she they sat like this for a while, Atsuko looking out over the school yard as the sun set behind the building and the night grew colder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my favorite chapter so far... I like the content! But I feel like my writing is a little iffy. Even still, I hope you enjoyed! Sorry I got a tad carried with the logistics of genjutsu here. I just find it very cool and it doesn’t get enough attention in the show! Also, sorry for the angst and sadness!! If it makes you feel better, it hurt me to write it.


	10. Commitments and Prospects

After about an hour of sitting under that tree and crying, Sasuke finally seemed to calm slightly. Or rather, he had exhausted himself and was ready to move on for the time being. Atsuko had spent the entire hour softly rubbing his back, letting him get it all out and occasionally providing some affirmations. When his death grip on her vest finally relaxed and he pulled away from her, she turned to look down at him. His eyes, cheeks, and nose were raw and red, face covered in tears stains. He took a couple stuttering breaths and Atsuko reached out, gently cupping his face in her hands and smoothing her thumbs over his cheeks to gather the remaining tears. 

By this point, the sun had fully set and the air was becoming cooler, the sound of crickets replacing the soft whistle of the breeze from before. Once it seemed like Sasuke had all but regained his composure, Atsuko decided to lighten the mood a little. 

“You miss my head kisses yet?”

She asked, calling back to what she had told him this morning. Sasuke let out a barely there chuckle, a little wet sounding and gave a reluctant nod. She returned it with a soft smile, leaning over to kiss the crown of his head, staying in place for a seconds longer than normal and then pulling back. 

“Ready to head home?”

She spoke in a soft tone, and again Sasuke nodded. She hauled herself to her feet, extending a hand down to help him up as well. She ducked down to collect their school supplies, stuffing her files and lunchbox into Sasuke’s backpack before draping it over her shoulder. They started to walk, slowly, in the direction of their home and Atsuko considered what had just happened. 

Sasuke was intent on revenge against Itachi. He had confirmed this much to her himself. Now, how to proceed? She came to the same conclusion she had in the kitchen over the weekend. Train Sasuke to the best of her ability, and be there to support him in these moments. Maybe, with enough luck and care, he would alter his path. Or at the very least, he would alter his motivations, not allowing that hatred to fester and consume him whole. Seeking justice rather than vengeance. She realized that, unlike everything else, she couldn’t overthink this. She knew she loved Sasuke and cared for him so deeply that if she allowed that to guide her, she would be doing her best. A certain masked ninja had told her that not too long ago. 

Again, to the fill the silence, she spoke. 

“So… how do you think I did today… teaching? Did you learn anything?”

She asked, glancing down as Sasuke nodded slowly. 

“Yeah, I did.”

He responded, a little more life in his voice now, but still raw and scratchy from earlier. 

“Good. If you learned something that means I did a good job. But I seem to have attracted a small group of fans.” 

She said, and Sasuke actually let out a soft chuckle at this, responding quickly. 

“I told you the guys thought you were hot.”

He advised, causing Atsuko to snort and let out a bubbling laugh, shaking her head. 

“Be that as it may, they are very sweet. Naruto roped me into lunch tomorrow at Ichiraku… I assume that will be with the same group I ate with today… I would really like if you came too, badass.”

She said, looking down at Sasuke expectantly as he seemed to mull over the offer, worrying his bottom lip a little between his teeth before giving a shrug. 

“Sure…”

He responded and Atsuko internally cheered. Another win. She smiled and gave him an affirmative nod in return before speaking again. 

“Good. But you have to be nice to Naruto, deal? No calling him loser.”

She instructed, and Sasuke scoffed at that, rolling his eyes. 

“No promises… why do you like him so much anyway…?”

He asked, sounding a little dejected as his gaze returned to the ground and his brow furrowed. He kicked at a small pebble, still worrying that bottom lip between his teeth. Atsuko looked down at him, a little confused as she tried to decipher his expression. Then she realized… was Sasuke jealous? The thought was bittersweet. On one hand it made her internally giggle at how silly it was, because he would never have any need to feel that way. On the other, she still felt a little guilty for having lunch with the other boys after their fight and wondered if that had hurt him. She opted to tease him a little at first. 

“Sasuke… are you jealous?”

She asked, smirking down at him as the boys face whipped up to stare at her, wide eyed. A thick blush grew over his cheeks and he stuttered out an embarrassed reply, regaining his composure a little and turning to look back straight ahead. 

“I- no! As if I could ever be jealous of that loser…”

He grumbled, but the blush on his cheeks and the furrow of his brow gave him away instantly. Atsuko chuckled, reaching out to rest a hand on the top of his head as she spoke. 

“Ya know, I like Naruto because he has this… wild approach to the world. He’s too loud and smiles too wide and laughs too much. He’s just fun and sweet, and I also feel like he’s really genuine and has a huge heart… but…”

Sasuke started to pout more and more as she talked about Naruto, then turned to look at her wide eyed when she said ‘but’. She smiled down at him, completely unhindered as her eyes shut with the force of it. 

“But, he’s nothing like you. You’re smart, patient, quiet and thoughtful. A lot like me. We share a bond deeper than that, as well. I really do love you with my whole heart, Sasuke. And even though I enjoy Naruto, no one is replacing you any time soon. I’m sorry if I hurt you when I had lunch with him and the other boys today…”

She said, tone falling more serious with each word until she was looking down at him full of love, a slight grimace on her face at the thought of hurting his feelings. Sasuke turned to look away from her again, smiling ever so slightly as the blush returned. He shook his head a little. 

“No, it’s okay. I was upset at first but… its okay now. Thank you, Atsuko-sensei.”

He responded, the hint of that childlike lilt as he thanked her. She couldn’t help but lean over to kiss the top of his head quickly. 

“Anytime, badass.”

———————————————————————————————

The rest of the week went smoothly. Atsuko and Iruka alternating bringing breakfast for one another, stuck in a perpetual loop of returning the favor. Class went well and several of the students showed real progress by the end, learning a little basic chakra control and listening intently during lectures. Sasuke and Atsuko had lunch with Naruto and the other boys Tuesday, and aside from some nasty looks in the beginning, everyone got along in relative peace. Then, on Friday, she managed to convince a large group of students to all have lunch together in the school yard with her and Iruka. As the week drew to a close, Atsuko gave her final goodbyes to the class before everyone was dismissed for the weekend. 

“Okay, that’s it for the Genjutsu section. Once you’ve all progressed through the Academy, you may find your calling in this rather than Ninjustu or Taijutsu. There are several of you who already show promise in the field. When that time comes, maybe Iruka will have me back for another lesson or you’ll find trainers of your own. For now, though, it’s been wonderful teaching and getting to know all of you.”

She stated, a sad smile on her face as she clasped her hands in front of her. She watched as several of the students gave each other confused glances, some downright devastated. A hand in the back of the room shot up and she followed it down to see it was attached to Hinata. Atsuko’s eyes widened slightly, the girl hadn’t spoken out in class at all this week, other than giving her description during the Genjutsu demonstration. Even at lunch earlier today, she’d remained quiet and timid. Still, Atsuko gave her a patient smile and acknowledged her, 

“Yes, Hinata?”

The girl lowered her hand, swallowing hard as a blush spread across her face. She spoke quietly, just barely loud enough for Atsuko to hear. 

“A-are you not coming back next week, Atsuko-sensei?”

She asked, concern evident in her eyes as they darted from Atsuko’s face to her lap and back up again. Atsuko gave a slow shake of her head. 

“Unfortunately, no I am not Hinata. This Genjutsu section was only for this week.”

She replied, and immediately the entire classroom broke out into an uproar. She could barely keep up with all the yelling, some at her and some at each other as they argued. Her head whipped around in confusion, able to to pick out a few words in the chaos. ‘Thats not fair!’ and ‘Why can’t you stay?’. She gave Iruka a panicked glance and he immediately stood up from his desk. 

“Class! Please settle down!”

He called, waiting a few moments for the volume to subside. There was a flash of movement and Naruto was standing on top of his desk, eyes scrunched shut as he yelled. 

“But its not fair, Iruka-Sensei! Sasuke’s mom is an awesome sensei! Why can’t she stay!?”

Typically, Naruto’s little outbursts only drew groans from the other students. But this time, they all shouted in agreement, back to the wild chatter as everyone said their piece. Iruka gave Atsuko a wide eyed glance, and she shrugged, stunned herself and unsure how to proceed. 

“Well… uh… the Genjutsu section is over and you all won’t be prepared for the more advanced stuff until later.”

He replied, and Atsuko gave a curt nod, going back to facing the class. To her’s and Iruka’s surprise, Shikamaru was the next to speak up. 

“This is such a drag… isn’t Atsuko-sensei like… a Jonin? Shouldn’t she be able to teach us more than Genjutsu?”

He asked, causing Atsuko to silently curse. Shikamaru was perceptive as always. A couple students in the class made noises of agreement in response. Atsuko and Iruka turned to look at one another for a few beats. She could just lie. Say that she had missions to resume and couldn’t stay in class. But if any of the kids saw her picking Sasuke up every day from school, they would wonder why she was always around. On top of not wanting Iruka to have to deal with the fallout of her lie, she also didn’t want these kids to think she just didn’t want to continue teaching them. In a hushed voice, Iruka asked, 

“What do you want me to tell them?”  
Seemingly knowing the fork in the road Atsuko had come to and understanding her connection with the students. She glanced between him and the class, all staring at them intently. It made her slightly uncomfortable and she turned back to Iruka as an idea popped into her head. 

“Could we step into the hall?”

She asked, and immediately Iruka nodded, turning to address the class. 

“We are going to step out for a moment to discuss. Please stay seated.”

He called, only to be met with an orchestra of groans and mumbled discontent as they walked towards the door. Once safely in the hall, Iruka shut the door behind them and looked down at Atsuko. 

“What do you want to do?”

He asked, leaning back against the door frame. Atsuko glanced down the empty halls, the sunlight pouring in through the large windows as she caught flashes of the time she’d spent here in the last week. Naruto dragging her by the hand, babbling loudly about how cool the roof was. Kiba walking beside her as he bragged about the new trick he had taught Akamaru the night before. Sasuke, his hands buried in his pockets as they fell into to step beside one another, her unconsciously mimicking his stance. It had only been a week, but the thought of not doing this everyday made her ache slightly. She finally turned her eyes back to Iruka, a slight blush on her cheeks. 

“You know how I feel… If it were up to me I’d stay as long as possible… and it’s not like I’m doing anything else for the next several years…”

She gave a short chuckle before continuing. 

“But I don’t want to step on your toes or anything… if you did need the help though, I would be happy to oblige.”

Iruka nodded, almost a little eagerly. 

“I was thinking the same thing. In the week you’ve been here I’ve been able to keep up with my paperwork and they really have seemed to retain a lot of what you taught them… The help would be greatly appreciated. But we’d have to run it by Lord Third…”  
He said, going from grinning to thoughtful, bringing a hand up to stroke at his chin slightly as he mulled it over. Atsuko’s stomach sank a little. It was unavoidable considering everything, even outside of asking if she could continue to assist Iruka, that she would have to speak with Lord Hokage again. But the idea of being in the same room as the man who had all but authorized the extermination of the Uchiha clan… it made her a little sick. Still, she nodded in agreement, forcing a smile. 

“I would love to help, Iruka. Do you think we could request council with him after class? So I have the weekend to prepare…”She asked, really just wanting to get it out of the way as quickly as possible, and Iruka nodded again. That blinding grin broke out across his features, forcing his eyes shut as his hand clapped down on her shoulder. 

“Absolutely! I don’t see any reason why he would deny the request!”

He offered and she nodded in return, her smile growing genuine at the prospect. Then a thought occurred. 

“What do we tell the kids for now?”

She asked, and Iruka shrugged in response, his hand falling away from her. 

“The truth, I suppose. That you would like to stay and help but we have to get approval first.”

Atsuko nodded in agreement before they both moved to enter back into the room. As Iruka pulled the door back open, they were met with a sea of large, shocked eyes. The entire class had crowded around the door and Kiba was leaning forward, hand cupped around his ear at the front of the group. He pulled back, immediately bringing the hand to the back of his neck and giving them an embarrassed grin. Atsuko dropped her head back, letting out a full body laugh as the class looked on in embarrassment. 

“How much did you hear?”

She asked, and Shikamaru piped up from his place behind Kiba, rolling his eyes with his arms folded across his chest. 

“Not much, considering Kiba couldn’t shut up long enough to pay attention…”He deadpanned, causing the other boy to whip around, pointing an accusatory finger as he yelled, fangs bared. 

“If you think you could’ve done a better job Shikamaru then you should have offered to listen!”

Shikamaru only yawned, stuffing his hands into his pocket with a shrug. 

“Seemed like too much work.”

Came his reply, tone bored as always. Before Kiba could start yelling again, Atsuko reached a hand out to grab his shoulder, making him spin on the spot to stare at her, wide eyed and a blush spreading across his tan skin. She gave him a smile, eyes closing for a brief moment before turning her attention back to the rest of the students, some staring and others with their head hung in embarrassment. 

“Guys, I would love to continue teaching all of you and helping out Iruka-sensei. However, we have to run that by the powers that be first, okay?”

She offered, and a couple excited voices blossomed from the group, exchanging hushed words with one another. Iruka spoke up this time, standing and observing just over Atsuko’s shoulder. 

“Now, class is dismissed for the weekend.” 

He called out, watching as the crowd dispersed quickly, each student going to gather their bags and papers from their desks. It allowed them a little room to wiggle back in through the door of the classroom. Atsuko noticed that even Sasuke had been apart of the crowd in front of the door as she caught a glimpse of him walking back to his seat out of the corner of her eye. She smiled a little to herself and packed up her items from the day. 

A couple of the students stopped by to say their goodbyes but, just like every day this week, Naruto was the last to exit, stopping in front of her and staring down at his feet a little defeated looking. She crouched down to be eye level with him, just like she did every day, her packed lunchbox and coffee cup left sitting on the edge of Iruka’s desk as he packed up in the background as well. When the boy didn’t speak up, she tilted her head to the side and drew her eyebrows together. 

“Hey, Naruto, what’s wrong?” 

She asked quietly, and the boy shrugged, finally turning those big blue eyes to look up at her, clearly distressed. 

“I just… I don’t want you to go.”

He said, sounding impossibly small and such a stark contrast from his normally loud and boisterous attitude. It floored her a little, eyes widening as she took in his words. He wasn’t just attached to her, he genuinely seemed to care and be scared of the prospect of not seeing her again. She reached out a hand, resting it on the top of his head and giving him an encouraging smile. 

“Hey, I don’t want to go either, buddy. Iruka and I are going to see what we can do so that I can keep teaching. But… if that doesn’t happen…”

She watched as his face grew a little hopeful, then reverted back to that frown at her ‘but’. 

“If that doesn’t happen, it doesn’t mean you’ll never see me again. I’ll still stop by for lunch sometimes and you have to keep your promise to me, remember?”

She finished, Naruto’s face scrunching up in thought before grinning and nodding eagerly with a giggle. She rose back to full height, ruffling his hair before pulling away from him. 

“Good. I will see you Monday, even if I’m not here to teach. We can have lunch, okay?”

She offered, and again the boy nodded giving her a thumbs up and barking out. 

“You bet, Sasuke’s mom! I’ll see you Monday!”

He responded, before running out of the room with that massive grin still painted on his face. She chuckled, turning her eyes up to where Sasuke sat, rolling his eyes a little. 

“Too nice.”

He reminded her as he descended the steps, but still a smirk tugged at his lips. She laughed and reached out, draping an arm over his shoulders and pulling him to her side quickly as he made a sound of disapproval. 

“Don’t act so tough. I saw you trying to listen in too.”

She teased, looking down as the smirk on his face dissipated and he blushed, scowling at the ground. Atsuko looked back up at Iruka who was packed up and ready to head out, chuckling a little at their interaction. 

“We have to stop by the Hokage’s office to see if I can keep teaching… then we can head home, okay?”

She proposed as she released the boy from her side. He nodded, hands going to their normal spot in his pockets. Atsuko turned her eyes up to Iruka, who gave her a smile and took the lead towards the door as she and Sasuke fell into step behind him. 

Once they had exited the building, Atsuko began to consider the upcoming weekend. When suddenly, she remembered her date with Kakashi! Shit! In all the insanity of the week, she had forgotten! Her face fell and she silently cursed herself. She still hadn’t figured out what to do about Sasuke for the night… she figured she just wouldn’t be able to spend the night like she’d originally hoped. Bringing her hand up to the bridge of her nose with a sigh, she addressed Sasuke as he walked beside her. 

“Sasuke, I forgot to tell you. I’m… going out with a friend tomorrow night. He’s picking me up at 6… I’ll get dinner squared away for you before then but I likely won’t be back until a little later… think you can wait up a little for me?”

She asked, really not wanting a repeat of the night a couple weeks ago. She glanced down at where he stood, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow, then turning his face back forward to stare at Iruka’s back with a shrug. 

“Sure… are you going on a date with that guy from the other night?”

He asked, blunt as ever. Iruka snickered a little in front of them and letting out in a teasing tone, 

“Oooh… a date! Do tell, Atsuko.”

As Atsuko blushed furiously, an embarrassed smile on her face, her arm flew out to gently smack at Sasuke’s arm. 

“Geez, badass. Tell everyone why don’t ya.”

She scolded half-heartedly as Sasuke chuckled, shaking his head. 

“So it IS a date.”

Came his reply and Atsuko let out a defeated sigh as she responded,

“Yes, it is.”

Which allowed Iruka to throw a shit-eating grin at her over his shoulder as he walked, 

“Well, do we know him?”

He asked, tone still light and teasing. Atsuko considered his question for a moment. Kakashi seemed like a some-what private man and might not want people knowing his exploits. However, Atsuko hadn’t had any chance to gush to anyone about him yet and it was driving her a little crazy. She typically wasn’t one to kiss and tell, preferring more secrecy herself. But this was different. It wasn’t some one night stand or friends with benefits scenario. It was an actual date with the potential of a relationship with one of the most accomplished Shinobi in the village, and on top of that he was stunningly gorgeous. She found herself a little proud that she’d managed to pull someone of that caliber and she let pride get the best of her when she spoke up. 

“Okay, I’ll tell. But you cannot repeat a word of this it anyone. Simply because I don’t think he’d like it too much and it’s only a first date.”

She advised and Iruka glanced over his shoulder again, bringing his hand up to pretend he was zipping his mouth shut, but that teasing grin remained. Atsuko chuckled in return and lowered her voice slightly. 

“Alright. It’s Kakashi Hatake.”

She answered, watching Iruka’s eyes widen in surprise as he let out a shocked chuckle, falling back a couple steps so he was walking on the opposite side of her from Sasuke, the information clearly peaking his attention. 

“Oh, wow. The great Copy Ninja, huh?”

He asked, and Atsuko nodded in return, a proud grin taking over her face as she blushed. 

“Yeah, I know right? It’s so silly… I’ve been on my fair share of dates and more. But something about him turns me into this blushing schoolgirl…”

She giggled, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. From behind her, she could vaguely hear Sasuke making gagging noises. Again, she reached out and smacked his arm, a little harder this time. The boy barked out a ‘Hey!’ before rubbing the spot with his free hand. Iruka laughed, dropping his head back with the force of it. 

“No, that’s a good thing, right? When someone makes you feel those butterflies, I mean.”

He questioned, quirking a brow to look down at her and she nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, it’s definitely a good thing. Just not what I’m used to, I guess.”

She replied, and Iruka gave a nod of understanding before turning his had back to the road in front of them. 

“Well, I hope it goes well.”

“Me too…”

—————————————————————————————————-

When they arrived at the Hokage Tower, Atsuko decided to bring Sasuke inside with them. Partially just to show him the building, but her intent was mostly spiteful. Showing up in the Hokage’s office for the first time since their conversation about her becoming Sasuke’s guardian, with the boy in question whom he had authorized to be murdered. She reached out, a silent request for him to take her hand and he rolled his eyes, but complied anyway. The secretary let them know that Lord Third wasn’t busy with a meeting at the moment, so they ascended to the stairs to his office. Atsuko had to physically swallow the bile that was rising in her throat as they walked down the curved hallway to the large double doors, the memory of that morning playing in her head scene for scene like a movie. 

She forced herself to focus on the sounds of the creaking floorboards, unconsciously squeezing Sasuke’s hand tighter. He raised an eyebrow and looked up at her in confusion, only to see her nostrils flared and jaw set, clearly not doing a very good job at hiding her distaste. Sasuke gave her a gentle tug, her head turning to look at his quizzical expression. A silent question. She let out a sigh, face and shoulders releasing the tension she didn’t realize had set in. Shaking her head slightly, she gave him a nervous smile to reassure him before turning her gaze back forward. Iruka gave a gentle knock on the big double doors, and a reply came immediately. 

“Come in.”

So they did as asked. Iruka slowly pushed the door open, giving a smile and wave as he entered the room before Atsuko and Sasuke. It looked the same as it did that morning, but the chair she had been forced to occupy was gone and she also wasn’t made to tolerate Danzo’s oppressive presence. Lord Third sat behind his desk in the middle of the room, the large window behind him that seemed large enough to show the entire village, a testament to his position. 

“Lord Third…”

Iruk addressed as both he and Atsuko immediately took a knee in the middle of the room, Atsuko tugging a slightly stunned Sasuke down to do the same while they bowed their heads. 

“Iruka. Atsuko… and Sasuke Uchiha?”

He responded, quickly turning to a question. Atsuko and Sasuke both raised their heads, the boys eyes as wide as dinner plates. She gave a curt nod. 

“Yes sir… I apologize, but the boy does go everywhere with me now, if that’s alright.”She replied, tone even but only barely as her throat burned with the need to express how she truly felt. She made eye contact with the man, and they held each others gaze for a tense moment. As the silence drug on, Atsuko wondered what he thought, when he looked over at the wide eyed child, broken by his own hand. She wondered if there was any remorse for what he and Danzo had done, what they’d asked Itachi to do. Sending a child out to murder his entire clan, then leaving an even younger survivor to pay witness to all of that horror and bloodshed. His dark eyes stayed fixed on her, however, likely trying to determine if she had told Sasuke anything or if she was planning anything on her own. 

Despite her ire and the way the sight of the man made her blood physically boil, she always knew that kind of retribution was never an option. Everything had been done for the sake of the village, that much she understood. Causing uproar or trying to do anything in retaliation to the Hokage or any of his advisors would only make sure that the Uchiha had been slaughtered in vain. It would cause calamity. Even further than that, she knew damn well she stood no chance in an actual fight against them. The air in the room had become almost suffocating as the silence drew on. So much so that she felt Iruka look between the two of them, confusion and concern rolling off of him in waves. As if knowing Atsuko’s final thoughts on the matter, Lord Third tore his eyes away from hers and shut them for a brief moment to nod. 

“That’s perfectly fine. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

He asked, looking over at Iruka for answers. The young man tore his eyes away from Atsuko as well and nodded as he began to speak. 

“We’ve come to make a request, sir.”

Iruka responded, and Lord Hokage nodded for him to continue. 

“Atsuko took over for Kurenai this week at the Academy to cover our Genjutsu section. She did an amazing job and the children have become attached rather quickly. She’s been extremely helpful and I would like to request that she be added to our classroom, sir.”

Iruka finished, face serious but a slight sparkle in his eyes. Something akin to pride, Atsuko recognized. She turned her gaze back to the older man before them, his face impassive as ever with his elbows coming up to rest on his desk as he cradled his fingers together, clearly deep in thought. He watched Iruka for a moment and then turned his gaze to her, then Sasuke, who still knelt with a wide eyed expression, immediately ducking his head when Lord Hokage’s eyes met his own. The silence stretched on a little too long for Atsuko’s liking, so she spoke up. 

“Lord Hokage, sir, if I may…”

His eyes snapped back to hers, giving her a nod as well. 

“When I was named Sasuke’s guardian, I was told that I would not be able to participate in missions for the time being. Until the time comes that I can resume my regular Shinobi work, I have found that I do genuinely enjoy spending my days teaching. I am no stranger to training children, and in all honesty, have come to genuinely care for the students under Iruka’s care. I understand if the creation of this position isn’t feasible, but I just wanted to voice my opinion as well.”

She finished, keeping eye contact with him the entire time, not budging in the slightest. Lord Hokage broke the gaze and turned his attention back to Iruka before finally speaking back up. 

“So, you two would be splitting the work? Covering for each other in the event of illness and teaching the children as equals?”

He asked, and Iruka nodded in return, piping up again. 

“Yes sir. We would split the work evenly. If I’m being entirely honest, the job is more suited for two people rather than one. Between paper work, grading homework and tests, lecturing and training, it would be of great help to me if Atsuko were my partner in this.”

He advised, voice confident and his head held high. Atsuko looked over at him with a soft smile. His typical blushing and boyish smiles had been hiding this self-assured young man. The word ‘partner’ rang in her ear and she found she quite liked the sound of that. Iruka was a good man. Intelligent and committed to his students. She would be proud to consider herself his partner in that regard. Teaching the children of the village and preparing them to become well balanced Shinobi. It was a truly noble position. 

She turned back to face Lord Hokage, the same confident look of determination on her features. There were a few more beats of silence as he regarded them, seemingly feeling out their commitment to this before he gave a single nod. 

“Then it’s settled. I think you would make a wonderful addition to the Academy, Atsuko. We will have you placed on the payroll and you should be able to begin Monday.”

He informed, a grin breaking across her face as she turned to look at Iruka, who mirrored her expression. She hadn’t even considered the payroll. The day after she picked up Sasuke, she’d found an envelope in her mailbox, containing enough money for upkeep on the home and for additional expenses, like groceries and clothing. There was a note as well, advising that the council would be providing her this money monthly until the mission was considered complete, since she was missing out on her regular pay from Shinobi work. Still she turned back to Lord Hokage, ducking her head in thanks. 

“Thank you, sir. I truly appreciate the opportunity.”

She responded, watching out of the corner of her eye as Iruka ducked his head as well, smile still planted on his face. They both slowly rose to their feet, Atsuko reaching out to place a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder so the boy would rise as well. 

Iruka was the last to comment before they turned to leave the room.

“Thank you, sir. I will make sure she fills out the proper paper work. We will take our leave now.”

He said, still smiling as he held the door open for her and Sasuke. Once the door had shut behind them again, Atsuko grinned at Iruka, throwing her arms around his neck as she giggled. All the tension from earlier forgotten as the excitement swept her up in a whirlwind of buzzing nerves and smiles so deep that her cheeks began to ache.

“Thank you so much, Iruka. You won’t regret this.”

She promised, pulling back to see him smiling back at her, blushing with a bit of a stunned expression in his eyes. He let out a chuckle, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck in that habitual nervous gesture. 

“I’m sure I won’t.”

He responded, and Atsuko took a step back. 

“Good! We will see you Monday morning, partner.”

She said, giving a slight bow with a lilting chuckle. She reached out to ruffle Sasuke’s hair, snapping him out of the trance he was still stuck in. She laughed at his wide eyed expression as he turned to face her, blinking a couple times to re-orient. Her heart gave a slight ache at the dual meaning behind his gaze. He was so star struck and in awe of being the same room as the great Third Hokage that he was stunned into silence. Then again, he didn’t know that the man was responsible for his hellish nightmares and those feelings that hurt him so deeply. 

Still, she gave him an encouraging smile, trying her best to swallow the bile the thought caused to rise in her throat. 

“C’mon. Let’s head home…” 

—————————————————————————————————

After leaving the Hokage tower, Atsuko and Sasuke had returned home for a calm evening. Sasuke did some training in the backyard while Atsuko prepared dinner. Everything was relatively uneventful and they even went to bed on time. The next morning, Sasuke had managed to convince her to take him to the training grounds for a few hours. She had decided they should have enough time for him to get in some chakra control training, but was adamant that they had to leave by no later that 4pm. Then, as it seemed to shake out every time she was on a time crunch, they had lost track of the time. Which had led to the situation Atsuko was currently in, wrapped in a large towel and running around the house as she clipped in earrings, mumbling expletives under her breath. By the time they had realized what time it was and made it home, it was already 5:30, leaving about 30 minutes before Kakashi was due to show up. 

Atsuko had showered as quickly as humanly possible. She had told him she would wear something nice but hadn’t truly given the outfit much thought until this very moment. She all but ran to her room, calling over her shoulder to where Sasuke sat in the kitchen, waiting for his turn in the shower. 

“Do not go in that bathroom! I still have makeup to do.”

And she heard the boy groan before slamming her bedroom door shut and letting the towel fall away as she ripped her wardrobe apart, looking for something suitable to wear. Finally deciding on a short, black, circle skirt that fell mid thigh, a pair of white knee high socks, and tight white turtleneck. She turned to throw the items on her bed and glanced across the room to her window. 

Her open window…

Her open window with a masked man crouched on the other side!

There was a split second of quiet shock as Atsuko registered the scene. Kakashi’s hand was frozen mid air like he was going to knock, his visible eye so wide it looked like it was going to quite literally pop of his head. Then, breaking the silence, Atusko shrieked in shock and jumped back, knocking several things off her nightstand in the process. Then she realized, she was completely nude! Her hands flew up to grab the comforter off of her bed, pulling it up at lightning speed to cover herself as she screamed.

“Kakashi! What the fuck! How many times do I have to tell you knock on the front door!” 

She watched as he became unfrozen, jerking the hand that was prepared to knock back to cover his eye, a little too late. 

“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t think-!”

He stuttered out only to be cut off by her yelling again. 

“Exactly! You didn’t think an issue could possibly arise from popping up outside a girls bedroom window! Fuck, Kakashi… Just, go to the front door. Sasuke will let you in.”

She muttered, bringing her fingers up to press against her temples, eyes shut tight in frustration.

When she opened them, he was gone and she let out a sigh of relief. Holding the blanket to herself, she moved across the room and yanked the curtains closed. Her heart was still hammering in her chest when she heard a knock on her bedroom door. 

“Atsuko-sensei? Are you okay? I heard you screaming!”

Came Sasuke’s voice from the other side of the door, Atsuko’s heart was still pounding from the shock but she managed to call back. 

“I’m fine. Please go let Kakashi in and tell him I’ll only be a few minutes!”

She heard a small ‘okay…’ from outside and then the sound of receding footsteps. She let out a groan, dropping back against the wall next to the window and sinking to the floor in embarrassment. After a few moments of sulking, she heard the doorbell ring and forced herself to stand again. Assuming Sasuke would open the door, she managed to get herself dressed. No sense in pouting, it’s not like Kakashi wouldn’t have seen it later. Still, she didn’t think she’d be able to look him in the eye after that. 

Still a little nerve wracked, she checked her reflection in the mirror, tucking the bottom of the turtle neck into the short skirt and slipping on a pair of comfortable black boots to complete the outfit. It didn’t look she was going to have time for a full makeup and hair routine, so she opted for pulling her wild hair up into a messy bun, separating a couple strands of salt and pepper hair to frame her face. Still not content with her appearance, she left the room heading down the hall to the bathroom. She noticed Kakashi stand up from his spot on the couch, still looking rather flustered as she gave him a finger to advise him to wait a moment before heading into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her. In a few short moments, she managed to put on some mascara and a little foundation and blush. This would have to do, she decided, spraying on a little vanilla scented perfume before steeling her nerves and exiting. 

Kakashi was still standing in the living room, hands clasped in front of him where he gripped a few peach and orange colored Gerbera Daisies a little too tightly. Atsuko had come out, face scrunched up in anger, finger pointed in his direction and prepared to give him a lecture about peeping. Then, her eyes landed on his clearly nervous face and the flowers in his fist, and she softened immediately. Her eyebrows pulled together, dropping her accusatory finger as she sucked in sharp breath. She knew she must have been looking at him as if he were a kicked puppy or a sad child.

“Kakashi… did you buy those for me?”

She asked, gesturing down to his clasped hands. With the silence broken, Kakashi tore his eyes away from her and looked down at the flowers, realizing he was holding them a little too tight and gave a quick nod, extending them to her as she drew closer. 

“Oh… Y-yes. The girl at the shop said they were… good first date flowers.”

He responded, still a little shaken from earlier and growing more nervous by the second as she slowly approached him. Atsuko reached out and took the small bouquet from him, holding them gingerly and running a finger over the petals. No one had ever brought her flowers before… the thought honestly made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she turned her face back up to look at him. The setting sun pouring in from the living room windows cast warm shadows across his face and warmed her skin ever so slightly, and for a brief moment when their eyes met, Atsuko felt like she was suspended in time. Her heart in her throat, she finally spoke up. 

“They’re beautiful… Thank you Kakashi.”

She said softly, going up on her tip toes to give a quick peck to his masked lips. She watched the nerves leave him a little, as he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck and give her that close eyed smile when she pulled away. Their moment was cut short when she heard the sound of Sasuke clearing his throat behind her. She spun around to see the boy sitting at the kitchen table, watching the display with a mild scowl. 

“Oh! Sasuke, this is Kakashi… Kakashi, Sasuke.”

She introduced, pulling away from the masked man and moving quickly into the kitchen to find a cup to put the flowers in. She couldn’t see them as she dug through the cabinets, but there were a few moments of silence before Sasuke spoke up. 

“So you were the guy outside the other night, on the roof?”He asked bluntly. She heard Kakashi struggle to sputter out an answer and chuckled to herself as she filled a tall glass with water and carefully placed the flowers in it. She set the glass down on the counter, next to the sink, and gently picked at the petals to get them in a position she was content with.

“I-Well, uh…”

Kakashi stumbled over his words and Atsuko turned back to face them, laughing fully now as she leaned back against the sink. Deciding to save him from the conversation, she moved forward. 

“Yes that was him Sasuke. But I really don’t care for you eavesdropping. It’s not nice. It’s also not nice to interrogate guests.”

She commented, coming up behind the boy where he sat in the chair and resting a hand on his shoulder. Sasuke only rolled his eyes before responding, 

“Well, if you weren’t kissing your boyfriend outside the bedroom window, I wouldn’t have had to overhear anything.”

He fired back, making Atsuko chuckle again and shrug, not even the slightest bit embarrassed. Something so bold would typically earn Sasuke a smack to the arm, but he was right in this instance. It was rather rude to make out on the roof right outside the window of the room he was sleeping in. Her eyes turned up to see Kakashi, so embarrassed he appeared to be short circuiting a little, visible eye wide as he looked between her and the boy in mild panic.

“Fair enough. But that will not be happening again, right Kakashi?”

She asked, giving him a pointed look as she pulled him from his stunned silence. He nodded quickly, ducking his head as the blush on his face grew.

“Yeah, no more window visits.”

He responded quickly, that nervous lilt back and evident in his voice, an embarrassed smile pulling at his lips. Atsuko then moved to face Sasuke, crouching down to be eye level with him. 

“Alright, I’m gonna be gone for a few hours. I probably won’t be back until 11 or so. Leftovers from last night are in the fridge, or there’s instant ramen in the cabinets. Bathe, eat, watch some TV, read a book. Just don’t get into any trouble, alright?”

She explained, and Sasuke rolled his eyes yet again. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.”

He advised. He gave her attitude, but Atsuko knew he secretly liked being doted over a little. So she stood with a satisfied smile and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“Okay. I will see you tonight, badass.”

She finished, going to return to Kakashi’s side. She stood back for a second, watching as his lean frame moved to open the front door for her to step through. She grabbed her purse from the kitchen table and exited past him. As soon as they were both outside and she heard the door click, Kakashi let out a huge sigh of relief, leaning back against the doorframe for a moment.

“Is he always like that?”

He questioned, and Atsuko laughed, turning to look at where the man was sagged against the door, seemingly defeated. 

“Yep. Blunt and judgmental, kind of an asshole. I love him.”

She said, the laughter dying out as she stared lovingly at the front door, just past Kakashi’s head. The man in front of her relaxed a little, hearing the earnestness in her voice and returning her smile as he watched her expression. When she finally turned her attention back to him, she frowned, 

“Besides, he’s not the one you should be afraid of right now.”

She added, voice going from loving to scolding in a heart beat as she clasped her small purse in her hand, bringing it up to smack him in the chest quickly. His hand immediately shot up to soothe the spot, though she knew there was no earthly way it could have hurt him considering he was still wearing his Jonin vest. She figured the gesture was a force of habit and he hissed as she continued. 

“How many times did I tell you to use the front door? And then you show up in my window, right when I happen to be naked?”

She questioned, glaring up at him but not meaning it in her heart. She wasn’t truly angry about it anymore, in fact it was pretty funny. Still, she had to give him a hard time about it, if only to see him blush again. He gave her exactly what she wanted, face growing red as he dropped his head in embarrassment. 

“I know… I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

He promised, seeming genuinely regretful for the incident and upset with himself. She didn’t want him to take it so seriously, and maybe his kicked puppy act was just to pull at her heartstrings, but it worked. Her face fell and she reached out, gently pushing his chest with her palm. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, I was just giving you a hard time, Kakashi. I didn’t like the surprise, but I’m not really embarrassed or anything.”

She told him, waiting for him to turn his face back up to look at her. When he did, the blush had faded a little and a small smile was even visible behind his mask. 

“Well, good. Because the view wasn’t half bad.”

He commented, dropping the scolded child act all together as a smirk grew behind his mask and Atsuko let out a scandalized gasp. That bastard had definitely just pulled at her heartstrings to get her to back down! 

“Not half bad? Well, I would hope it wasn’t bad at all!”

She fired back, hitting him with the purse again as he dropped his head back and laughed. Still, she grinned up at him wildly, butterflies fully swarming in her stomach at the sound and image of his Adam’s apple bobbing behind the black fabric of his mask, the sharp lines of his neck and jaw. Even when he was being an asshole he was mesmerizing. But still, she was grateful to see this teasing side of him, even it was only momentary. 

He brought his head back down to look at her again, visible eye half lidded and the smirk still playing across his face. With the laughter gone, the air grew a tad more serious and Atsuko felt a little small under his gaze. 

“No, you’re right. It wasn’t bad at all. The opposite.”

He responded, so smoothly she felt her own face heat up. Damn, he was good. Too good. So good it almost made her want to punch him in that smug face. Or kiss the smirk off it. She hadn’t expected this, but seeing a more carefree flirty side of him was a breath of fresh air. She giggled in response, gently smacking his chest again. 

“C’mon… lead the way…”

She changed the subject as he peeled himself away from the doorframe, stepping around her to walk ahead in the opposite direction of her home, his hands finding their typical spot in his pockets rather quickly. Atsuko fell into step beside him. 

“So, what’s for dinner?”

She asked as they walked, looking up at him expectantly. 

“Ah, that’s a surprise.”

He responded smoothly, throwing a wink her way when she scoffed in return. Only to deflate immediately and let out a sigh as he continued. 

“Okay, that’s a lie. It’s not ready yet… I was running late and uh… well I had an idea of what to make but I didn’t have time before…”Kakashi stuttered, looking down at the ground in embarrassment as Atsuko laughed beside him. From flirty asshole to stuttering dork in the matter of minutes. She elbowed his side gently, looking up at the much taller man through her lashes. 

“Well, then we can make it together. I’m not a great cook, but I am a willing and eager student.”

She suggested, teasing slightly in the end. Immediately, Kakashi perked up at the idea. He turned to look down at her, smirking at her innuendo and giving her that close eyed smile, opting to play dumb. 

“Then I’ll teach you.”

He confirmed, giving a curt nod of determination. Atsuko chuckled at the gesture and they walked in silence for a few beats. She took in the dirt roads she traversed everyday, still swarming with people and noise. But it felt a little further away now in the twilight hours with Kakashi by her side. Almost like showing someone a movie she’d seen a thousand times, more interested in their reaction than the film itself. She was hyperaware of his presence, so much so that everything else fell by the wayside. After a few moments of silence and taking in their surroundings, Kakashi spoke up again. 

“The way you are… with Sasuke. It’s nice.”

He commented, glancing down at her quickly before looking back ahead. Atsuko smiled, pulled from her semi-dream state as she took a deep breath. 

“It is… he’s really amazing. So smart and thoughtful. Even if he acts like a total asshole sometimes. I love that kid more than anything. So, before we get too deep into this thing I should let you know you are essentially dating a single mother. We’re a package deal.” 

She reminded, looking up at him a little concerned. Most single people without kids of their own didn’t date women with children. Too much responsibility. He glanced down at her and noticed her worried expression, so he quickly shook his head, trying to re-assure her immediately. 

“Of course. You know, the reason I… that I kissed you that first night was because I saw your concern for him. It just… well, it was genuine and I really appreciated it.”

He stated, looking down at her for her reaction, only to find her grinning wildly back up at him. The unfiltered expression of emotion in her eyes made him a little uncomfortable, and he clammed up quickly, turning his head back to face the road. 

“Sorry… guess that was a little much.”He mumbled and Atsuko genuinely laughed in return, reaching out to run a hand down his arm in a comforting gesture. 

“Don’t be. That was very sweet of you to say, Kakashi. Really does make me feel like I’m doing an okay job in all of this.” 

She responded, staring at his profile for a moment before facing back ahead as well. This was how he was, she was starting to realize. Comfortable and confident when teasing or flirting, but more comfortable when maintaining silence and just enjoying each others company. Then, when issues of the heart arose or when things got a little intimate, he clammed up. Or disappeared entirely, though it seemed that wouldn’t be happening tonight. She wondered exactly what he was thinking during all of this, because she couldn’t imagine it was easy for him. To be somewhat vulnerable and take her on a date, to his home no less. To bring her flowers and dip a toe into romance. It was the exact opposite of the persona he gave off to the rest of the world. When he didn’t reply, to her grateful words, she decided the easiest way to show him how she felt was, again, physical contact. Atsuko finally broke the silence. 

“Do you think… could I hold your hand?”

She asked, feeling him stiffen a little beside her rather than seeing him do so. Still, they continued to walk and after a few more moments of drawn out silence, he asked in a soft voice. 

“Are you sure you want to be seen like that? With me?”

He asked, and Atsuko whipped her head around to look at him, eyebrows drawn together in disbelief. He was concerned about how people would perceive her if she was seen holding hands with him? That was absolutely ridiculous. In all honesty, despite the newness of all of this, she wanted to let everyone know, because she didn’t plan on letting him go any time soon. 

“What do you mean? Of course I do. If you don’t want to, Kakashi, that’s fine. I understand, you seem like a more private man. But don’t ever think I would be… I don’t know, embarrassed to be seen with you? Because that’s ridiculous.”

She responded, scolding a little near the end because it angered so much to know he had such a poor opinion of himself. It was strange as well. He had no issue making his presence known in front of Genma a couple weeks ago. Granted, that was just one person and those weird alpha male hormones had likely blurred his judgement a little then. While she continued to pout, mind racing a little from the anger and sadness that his question had brought on, she felt him shift and, suddenly, he was wrapping his hand around hers where it hung by her side. 

She looked down in mild shock as his fingers intertwined with hers, warm and calloused while the leather of his glove pressed against her palm. He gave a single squeeze, and Atsuko ripped her eyes away from their hands to stare up at him. Though he gave no outward display of what he was feeling by the expression he wore, she knew what she’d said must have struck a chord. A small smile worked it’s way onto her face and she moved a little closer to him until their arms were brushing with every step, hands clasped together between them. They walked the rest of the way to Kakashi’s house in content silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this one is a tad shorter and again its alll fluff, but I'm getting things in place for the time skip! 
> 
> Also I KNOW I cut off right before the date actually began but that's because I was curious if any of my consistent readers had an opinion on smut in the upcoming chapter? It makes no difference to me, it's just kind of fun to write. But if we'd rather keep things PG let me know in the comments because if not things are gonna get steamyyyyy in the next chapter ;) . 
> 
> Then, time skip to canon Naruto!


	11. Old Memories and Making New Ones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright ladies and gents! This is the final chapter before I skip ahead to canon Naruto. This chapter has smut! But there is a little more about the OC's background before that point. Please let me know if you enjoyed the chapter! This is my first time writing smut in a looooong time but I think its pretty good ;) Enjoy!

Kakashi guided Atsuko up a couple flights of stairs, to the third floor of the apartment complex he lived in. Turning down a few hallways, they came to a stop in front of a green door as Kakashi finally pulled his hand from hers to fumble with his keys. He opened the door for her, giving a smile as he waved her inside. The small apartment wasn’t unlike others she’d visited. Kitchen and living room were a single large room, and a small hallway lead to two doors that she assumed were his bedroom and bathroom. Looking around for a moment, one thing did stick out. The room was pretty bare. Aside from the essential furniture items and a few books, there were no personal touches. No photos or throw blankets or plants. She frowned a little as she slipped off her boots by the entrance, Kakashi shutting the door behind them. 

“It’s nice but you don’t have any… photos or plants? Anything personal?”

She asked casually, really just interested as to why. Granted, most Shinobi didn’t put a whole lot of effort into their homes because they were gone so often it didn’t really seem to matter. But even the ones who didn’t care for decorating had something a little personal. A picture of family or friends, a poster or a potted plant. As she sat her purse down on the kitchen table, she turned to face Kakashi who only gave a shrug. 

“Not really. Guess I never really thought about it.” 

He responded, looping through the kitchen to start pulling the ingredients for dinner from the fridge. Atsuko frowned still, eyes filtering around the bare room. Then, an idea! She reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. After a second she’d managed to get the picture out, pinched between her thumb and forefinger. There were a couple magnets on his fridge, only one of them in use holding up a sparse grocery list. She slipped the photo under one of the other ones, making sure it was eye level for Kakashi so he could see it everyday. She grinned, looking over at where he stood in front of the stove, watching her with a raised brow. 

“There. Something personal.”

She said, pointing at the photo. It was a picture of her and Yamato from about two years ago, grinning wide with his arm draped over her shoulders. She’d insisted on getting their picture taken after that mission where the rogue Sand Shinobi had left her battered and knocking on deaths door. She’d told Yamato she wanted a picture of the two of them just for sentimental purposes, and because she wanted a picture with the hero who’d saved her life. She remembered cooing that at him and watching a thick blush cover his face. In reality, the incident had shaken her a little and she wanted them both to have a picture of them together in case… in case one of them didn’t make it back next time. Despite the bittersweet memory, she smiled fondly at the photo. Wednesday night, after class, Atsuko had returned home to find Yamato waiting for her. They discussed what happened over a cup of coffee, and she had given him her decision. He took it surprisingly well, apologizing for putting her in that position, and they decided it was best for them to remain friends. He had to leave for a month long mission after their conversation, so as she looked at the picture she said a silent prayer for his safety. 

She turned her head back to look at Kakashi, who was smiling ever so slightly. 

“It looks nice there. Are you sure you want to leave it?”

He asked calmly, but the softness in his eyes gave away how much he really liked the picture. Atsuko piped up again, turning to fiddle with the edges of the photo.

“Yeah, I have another copy at home… And look! If this date goes south and ends in god awful tragedy, you can cut me out without ruining the picture. Then you’ve still got a picture of Yamato.”

She smiled, turning back as Kakashi’s shoulders bounced with a laugh and he nodded in return. 

“Good to know you’ve really thought ahead.”

He replied as Atsuko moved closer to where he stood, completely invading his personal space, her hip pressed against him as she peered down at the ingredients strewn across the counter tops. Her hands clasped behind her back, she turned her gaze up to look at Kakashi, who was only a few inches from her face in the cramped kitchen. 

“So, what are we making?”

She asked, blinking as she peered up at him through her lashes. Kakashi turned his head to look down at her curious face, feigning a little innocence as she purposefully brushed against him with every slight movement. She reached past him, the back of her hand brushing his crotch as she grabbed a bundle of green onions from the counter in front of him. His face remained cool and collected, but there was a slight flash of something in his visible eye, a challenging glint she thought. 

“I figured a simple stir fry would do.”

He responded, watching as she nodded and looked down at the vegetables, shrimp, and noodles in front of her. That sounded easy enough she thought, as Kakashi moved from her side to a cabinet on the other side of the kitchen, returning to her with a cutting board and knife. She took them and immediately began by chopping the green onions, slicing them quickly and content with her mild teasing for now. Better to focus on dinner first, she didn’t want him to get the idea that she was only here for sex. But god, everything about him just drew her in. It was too easy. Her face began to heat up a little at the thought, nerves making her hand move entirely too quickly with the blade. Then she felt Kakashi watching her and she slowed her motions, turning to look at him again as he resumed his spot right next to her in front of the stove. 

“You have a specific way I should be doing this?”

She asked, chuckling a little as he stared down at her hands. In the blink of an eye, he was behind her. His front pressed tightly into her back. Atsuko let out a soft gasp and almost dropped the knife at the sudden contact. Kakashi chuckled, the feeling of it vibrating through her body in the most delicious way imaginable. He dropped his head so he could speak into her ear as his arms came from behind her, hands resting on top of her own as he guided them back to the cutting board. 

“Your wrist is too limp and you’re going too fast… one slip and you’ll slice off a finger. Curl your fingers back like this…”

He instructed, voice strong and commanding in her ear. Her heart was pounding so fast and the nerves in her body were screaming so loud that she didn’t register a single word he said. All she could focus on was his hot breath as it ghosted over her shoulder, slightly stifled by the mask he still wore. Still, he brought his hand to rest on top of the one she was using to hold the green onion. He encouraged her to roll the tips of her fingers back into a partial fist. 

“See? This way you don’t risk taking the tip of your finger off. Then over here…”

His hand was now manipulating the hand that held the knife, angling her wrist and squeezing her fingers down around the handle with a different pressure. 

“It’s not like a kunai. You don’t have to keep a light hold on it to be ready to throw it… A little more pressure gives you more control when you’re cutting.” 

He stated, deep voice reverberating through her back and she unconsciously keened back a little, hips rolling back and up against his crotch. Still, he made no outward expression that what she had done had affected him. He continued to grip her hands, guiding her through the cutting of the onions. When he was satisfied she had the technique down, he slowly pulled back, fingers ghosting up her arms as his warm frame left hers. Atsuko was left a little dumbfounded and more than a little hazy minded as he returned the stove beside her to get the seasonings and noddles started in the skillet. Still, her hands moved just like he had guided them. 

“Uh… thanks…”

She managed to stutter out, shifting a little uncomfortably at the sudden warmth in her stomach. Kakashi only chuckled, clearly noticing her distracted state as the blush on her face only grew. The sound brought Atsuko back a little and she blinked a few times to re-orient. As she registered what had just happened, she began to pout a little. That asshole! Why did he have such a… hold on her? She’d hooked up with more men than she could count. And all Kakashi had to do was stand behind her for a while, show her how to cut some onions and she was all but a drooling mess. After his little display, they cooked in silence for a few moments, Atsuko chopping up vegetables and Kakashi adding them to the now sizzling skillet. He finally decided to speak up when it seemed like she had calmed down a little. 

“Do you… have any family?”

He asked, figuring it was a neutral question most people asked on a date. Atsuko shook her head as she continued to chop, the blush on her face long faded as they had effectively placed the tension on the back burner for now. 

“No. Well, maybe. None that I know of. My mom died when I was 12 and I never met my dad. He dipped on my mom while she was still pregnant… So he might be out there somewhere? But I’ve never looked into it. How about you?”

She asked, stating the tidbit about her past a little matter of factly. Not exactly a fun story, but pretty standard. She glanced up at him, stilling the knife in her hand for a moment as he continued to stir the contents of the skillet. 

“I’m sorry to hear about your mom…”

Then he gave a shrug in response to her question. 

“No, I don’t have any family left either. My mother died when I was very young, and then my father when I was 5… Just me left.”

He stated, obviously a tough topic for him but Atsuko nodded in understanding. 

“I’m sorry to hear that. That must have been difficult for you…”

She replied, tone somber and leaving a little room for him to talk about it if he wanted. Thought it seemed like that was as much as he was willing to tell her. She decided to try to lighten the mood a little. 

“You know, talking about our past, I remember you from the Academy.”

She said, smiling a little as she chopped up some mushrooms. She felt him glance at her and he gave a leading, 

“Oh, you do?”

Then Atsuko nodded in return, chuckling a little. 

“Yeah. You were about a year older than me and leagues ahead of everyone else. I remember being a little scared of you.”

She added, laughing a little as the memory came back to her. And here she was, several years later, making dinner with the great Kakashi Hatake in his apartment. It was a little surreal looking at it from that angle. Kakashi chuckled as well at her comment. 

“I was a… well, in all honesty, I was an asshole then.”He commented, and Atsuko teased, 

“And you’re not now?”

Causing him to chuckle again, turning to glance at her while she watched him cook. She went back to her cutting board, continuing the conversation.

“I’m teasing… but that’s okay. Seems I quite like assholes.”

Kakashi nodded, pretending to wipe sweat from his brow in relief. 

“Well, that bodes well for me then.”

He commented, making Atsuko drop her had back with a laugh. When she brought it back forward, she slid the mushrooms off into the skillet. Moving on to the green peppers. Kakashi continued the conversation. 

“So, when did you get promoted to Jonin? What made you want to do Shinobi work in the first place?”

He asked, and she gave a thoughtful smile. 

“I made Jonin at 15. So, about 6 years ago? And as far as what made me want to pursue it… My mother was young when she had me. 16. She had been named Chunin a couple years prior. But because she was a single mother, she couldn’t continue to do what she loved… She had to step down and get a job in the village and raise me full time. So, she kind of… instilled that dream into me I guess? Every time we went out, she would point out the Shinobi and tell me they were heroes. That I should hope to be like them someday. To grow up and protect the village and the people in it. Even though she definitely was, I never felt like she was living vicariously through me… When I still a child in the Academy, Lord Fourth came and spoke to our class once, back before he was named Hokage. He told us about being a Shinobi and what he did and what it meant to him. And I just remember having this really overwhelming sense of pride that I belonged to the village he was from. He was one of the heroes my mother talked about. From that moment on, I dedicated my life to it.”

She finished, knowing it had gotten a little long winded. But every time she thought about her motivations, it re-solidified her convictions. Her childhood was full of happy memories like that. Then she had graduated the academy there had been the war… she swallowed a little harshly at the memories of those years, forcing her way past them to turn to look up at Kakashi, whose hands had stilled completely. He almost looked a little… sad? 

“I’m sorry… that was a little long winded…”

She responded, chuckling nervously. Kakashi shook his head, clearing his throat a little as he went back to stirring the food in the pan. 

“No. No, it’s not that. It’s just… Lord Fourth, uh Minato-sensei. He was my Jonin instructor and sensei after I graduated from the academy so… I know what you mean when you say he inspired you. He was an amazing man.”

He responded, not looking over at her as she stared at the side of his head. A sad smile worked its way onto her face and she reached out rub his arm a little in a comforting motion. 

“Yes, he was. You’ll have to tell me stories about him, sometime. Since I’m sure you knew him better than I did.”

She said and she could see his lips twitch under his mask. 

“Yeah, I’d like that…” 

He replied and Atsuko left it at that for a while. There was more to her past and she knew there was more to his as well. This line of work didn’t come without its fair share of trauma. She knew they’d both been through the war, she also knew that he had made a name for himself there. Those years had been hard on her. The general atrocities that came along with war, comrades dying and the endless bloodshed on all sides. Then her mother died. She’d struggled for a long time after the war ended, trying to silence the flashbacks and fill the void with liquor and men, despite being underage. Then, she’d made Jonin. She managed to keep it together for a while. Her missions went well, but slowly it began to unravel. On one occasion, she’d been injured badly on a mission, her negligence as the captain of a small team had gotten her leg broken in several places and a man on her squad had been beaten within an inch of his life. 

She was on bed rest for a while, and even after that point Lord Fourth refused to clear her for missions. He said it was due to her leg, but she knew that he had viewed her as a liability. Then the Nine-tails attack happened. She had been forced to stay back with the other young Shinobi, and Lord Fourth had died. After things settled down, she approached Lord Third to request he place her back on active duty, but he had another idea. A family from the Uchiha clan were looking for someone to train their young son Itachi in Genjutsu. He was brilliant and gifted in Ninjutsu, even at a young age. She’d argued at first, not wanting to train a child when she should be out on missions but Lord Third had insisted it was this or nothing. She’d conceded… and it was the best decision of her life. Training Itachi slowly revitalized that hope she’d lost long ago. This brilliant child, so calm and collected and talented… To train him and prepare him for his bright future. It had been a gift she didn’t know she needed. 

Despite her current feelings about Lord Third, he’d saved her life by making that decision. As Itachi got a little older and their training sessions grew more few and far between, she was cleared for missions again. Then she met Yamato and her life began to fill with sound and color. It was so easy to get lost doing this line of work. To be exposed to such horrid things so young… it could defeat the spirit and it had made her lose all hope for a better future. She found that as her life started to fill with people she truly cared about, it made the losses easier to deal with and the idea of getting to see those people everyday, gave her hope little by little. She smiled softly as the last of the vegetables were placed in the skillet. She moved to place the knife and cutting board in the sink, wiping off the counter with a paper towel. She decided to speak up again as the emotions threatened to over flow. She wanted to share these thoughts with someone. With someone who would understand what she was saying. But she didn’t want to push Kakashi too far. 

“You know… We never really got to be kids, so even when I reference that time in my life, I don’t feel right calling it my… childhood, ya know?”

She said, turning around to hop up and sit on the counter next to him, her legs dangling as she rested her head back against the upper cabinets. The air had grown a little thick, like the atmosphere in the room had changed when her thoughts had. It seemed the man in front of her had been affected as well. He appeared tense and distant. Kakashi hummed in agreement, seemingly understanding what she said perfectly. Another silence, filled only by the sound of the food sizzling in the skillet. 

“I understand, if you don’t want to talk about that kind of stuff tonight. Just thinking back on the Academy kind of forced it all up so I’m a little… nostalgic isn’t the right word. Well, just thinking about the past I suppose…”

She continued, and Kakashi again hummed slightly. She had been lucky, meeting Yamato when she did. Young and vulnerable and actually trying to make her life better. She was looking for someone to share with, to talk to so she could begin to move forward, and he leant her that ear more times than he should have. She didn’t think Kakashi had ever had someone like that, or had never felt comfortable enough to talk through his feelings. She could tell he was deep in thought as well, brow furrowed and clutching the spatula in his hand so tightly his knuckles were turning white. She reached out slowly, able to slide her hand under his chin from this position and tilt his face to look up at her. His eye widened at the contact and he looked at her a little stunned. 

“Ya know, Kakashi. I don’t know a whole lot about you or your past. But I have a feeling it may be similar to my own. So, if you ever need to talk, I will listen. Anytime. Every time.”

She let him know, hand slowly curving up around his face until she was gently running her fingers through that soft, silver, hair. She noticed his grip on the spatula relaxed slightly and his visible eyes fluttered shut at the feeling. The visual of him actually relaxing, leaning forward into her touch and seemingly having to fight the urge to rest his head in her lap. It made her ache. It was like he hadn’t been touched like this in years. Like a loving gesture was so foreign he just melted immediately, shoulders sagging and jaw unclenching. Even with no words exchanged, she knew he was carrying a massive weight. That talk of the past had brought those horrid memories flooding back and he was vulnerable in this moment. Seeing him like this brought forth an all too familiar feeling. She loved him. Maybe not romantically yet, but she felt that same determination and loyalty pounding through her veins as she did when she thought of Yamato or Sasuke. 

“C’mere.”

She said softly, curving her hand down to the back of his head, pulling and guiding him to where she sat. He complied, eyes still closed as the spatula was forgotten on the stove top. She opened her legs and scooted forward to the edge of the counter, letting his lean waist settle between them. The hand on the back of his head pulled him down, until he was resting it on her shoulder. On instinct, his arms came up to wrap around her waist tightly and she continued to run her fingers through his hair, her other hand rubbing circles on his back. The moment was so tender it felt a little surreal. However, it somehow managed to also feel like the most natural thing she’d ever done. He fit perfectly against her, in her arms, pressed against her chest. Maybe she was just emotional and reading too far into things, but in this moment, she felt like she could do this for the rest of her life. Everything about him… every single thing he did just drew her in more. She wondered if he felt the same way and wanted more than anything to ask him and make sure she wasn’t crazy. But when his arms tightened around her waist and he buried his face in the crook of her neck, she knew. It was like he could read her mind. Reacting to her rushing thoughts with a silent answer on more than one occasion. 

She could feel him now, mouthing at her neck through his mask, pressing soft kisses as the arms around her waist turned to splayed hands running up her back. The feeling of the material of his mask, working its way up her neck had her letting out an involuntary gasp. In response to the sound, Kakashi pulled back and moved so they were face to face, one of his hands coming up to pull the mask down and the headband up. Atsuko looked at him for a moment, and she considered herself lucky she’d only been met with that gaze momentarily. The look in his open eye was so intense, glossed over with a mix of lust and sorrow and gratitude, that it made her heart skip a beat and forced the air from her lungs. If he had looked at her like for much longer she would’ve dedicated the rest of her life to him. She didn’t have too much time to consider it though, because his lips were on her quickly, warm and a little chapped, he started up that torturous languid pace again. The one that left her jaw aching with unreleased tension but also made her head swim. The hand working its way up her back had found a home tangled in the hair at the base of her skull, and the other had returned to rest against her hip. 

Atsuko lowered the hand from its place in his hair, going to join the other on his back. She pressed her palms against his back, urging him to move closer, though there wasn’t much unoccupied room between them. The action caused Kakashi to grip her hips and pull her forward in return. At this point, their clothed crotches were pressed right against each other, Atsuko’s skirt fully bunched up around her waist. The feeling of him pressing against her like that, caused her to gasp into the kiss. Kakashi immediately took the opportunity to slide his tongue in her mouth and pulled her head back with his grip in her hair, effectively deepening the kiss and winning the battle for dominance before it even started. Atsuko was trying her best to keep up but she was all but melting in his arms. This wasn’t just some make out session or foreplay. The passion in both of their movements was damn near searing. Her skin was on fire and when Kakashi finally pulled away to let her breathe, she was grateful for the time to let her brain catch up. Panting and lips swollen she rested her head against the upper cabinets again, eyes falling shut. She knew if she looked at him right now it would be too much. 

Atsuko felt him pull away slightly, the hand tangled in her hair releasing and coming to rest on her other hip. Then they began to slide, down her now bare thighs. Her eyes flew open and she looked down in time to see Kakashi crouching between her still spread legs. Oh, and the sight of that was delicious. He was returning her gaze with both eyes open, hooded and the lust visible even in the eye with the Sharingan. His lips swollen and slick from their kiss. He gave her a slight smirk and grabbed her ankles, hooking her knees over his shoulders in one smooth motion. Still maintaining eye contact, he leaned ever closer until his hot breath was fanning across her slowly soaking panties. He wasn’t moving though and Atsuko rolled her hips a little, only to watch him pull back with a smirk. She whined, hand flying out to bury in his hair. 

“Kakashi…” 

She breathed out, pleading at him with her eyes. He chuckled, but leaned forward anyway, tongue flattening against the white silk of her underwear and licking a long stripe upwards. Just the pressure and feeling of his tongue pressed against her made her grip in his hair tighten as she dropped her head back with a moan. Kakashi groaned in response against her sex, the vibrations from the noise making her hips jump again. He pulled his mouth back, bringing one of the hands from her hips down to rub light circles over her clothed clit with his thumb, his other hand coming to press down on her lower abdomen to stop her from bucking forward. 

“These panties are awfully pretty. Did you wear them for me?”He asked, voice low and husky as his fingers continued to tease her slowly. Atsuko was panting heavily, the teasing causing her to become impossibly wet in such a short length of time. At his words, she whined again, nodding eagerly as she looked down at him. 

“Y-yes. Kakashi, fuck, please.”She whimpered, dropping her head back again as he chuckled, giving the finger he was teasing her with a little more pressure, drawing a moan from her. 

“So quick to beg…”

He responded, deciding he could tease her into oblivion another time. His hand left her clit and she gave a whine of protest. Kakashi moved to slide her panties down her legs, leaving her cute little skirt and knee high socks right where they were. Sliding his hands back up the length of her legs, her gripped the bottom of her plush thighs tightly, shoving them back so she was completely spread open to him. Atsuko could only watch in a lustful daze as he made eye contact with her and his mouth finally descended on her bare cunt. At the sensation of Kakashi licking a long stripe up her slit, Atsuko let out a broken moan, face scrunching up in pleasure as some of that tension from his mild teasing melted away. 

He moved upwards ever so slightly, gazing up at her through hooded eyes as his mouth closed around her clit, sucking slowly. It was enough for Atsuko to see stars, eyes rolling back in her head as she broke from his gaze. 

“Oh… fuck…”

She babbled, his tongue joining the motions, flicking quickly over the sensitive bud that he held between his lips. Kakashi hummed in response to her noises, the vibrations sending another wave of pleasure through her. His bruising grip on the bottom of one her thighs left, and the leg immediately came to rest on his shoulder. He moved his middle finger to prod at her soaked entrance, teasing slightly and sliding the first knuckle in with no resistance as she whimpered and rocked her hips in response, trying to get more of him inside. He pulled back momentarily, releasing her clit and removing his finger to use his teeth to pull off the fingerless glove on his hand before his mouth resumed its previous ministrations and he sunk his middle finger into her heat fully. Atsuko keened, her grip on his hair growing even tighter as she rocked her hips against his face and the finger inside her. 

“Fuck… you taste amazing~..”

He purred between her legs, a little muffled with his mouth on her. He sunk another finger into her, curling them repeatedly and hitting a spot inside her few had ever managed to reach. Atsuko’s back arched in response to his words and the overwhelming prodding of his fingers. She let out a loud moan, pulled from the depths of her chest and her free hand came up to cover her mouth to muffle the noise. Kakashi’s other hand on her thigh released it’s grip, reaching up to pull the hand from her mouth down and lock their fingers together next to her hip. 

“No, I want to hear you.”

He stated, a command more than a request. Atsuko dropped her head back and followed the demand immediately, groaning loudly as the pressure inside her began to build, the coil so close to snapping. It was all so overwhelming, the heat of his mouth enveloping her sex, his fingers curling inside her like he was physically trying to pull the orgasm from her, his words and the hums and groans of encouragement. Every nerve in her body was on fire as she panted out, 

“K-Kakashi! I’m going to…”

He cut her off with a hum of approval, the vibrations sending her even closer to the edge. 

“Good… let me feel you…”

He encouraged before he timed a curl of his fingers against the spongy spot inside her with a powerful suck of her clit. Her vision went white as she cried out his name over and over like a prayer, using her grip in his hair to grind against his face. Kakashi continued to pump his fingers slowly and press long licks to her clit with the flat of his tongue as she rode out her orgasm. When Atsuko finally came back to, she was panting loudly and the feel of his tongue dragging across her oversensitive sex made her whimper and push his head away slightly. Kakashi chuckled and gave it one last flick with his tongue, watching as her hips twitched, before finally pulling back and removing his fingers. She finally raised her head from where it had fallen back against the upper cabinets, looking down at him with blown pupils and swollen lips, some of her hair sticking to the sweat on her forehead. 

Kakashi smirked up at her from his kneeling position and her cunt throbbed at just the sight of him. Mouth and chin glistening with her juices, eyes hooded like he’d gotten off just watching her, hair wild from her constant tugging. He rose to his feet, chuckling again at her dumbfounded look as his face drew closer to hers. He finally release his grasp on her hand and brought it up to lift her chin a little, immediately moving in and placing a kiss on her lips. Atsuko was still so blown away that she didn’t return it much until he deepened the kiss a little and she tasted herself on him. That relit the fire in her and she sat upright again, hand coming up to the back of his neck as she claimed dominance in the kiss, unable to stop herself from exploring his mouth with her tongue. He groaned into her mouth and pulled back, still wearing that fucking smirk as he pressed his forehead against hers, hot breath fanning over her face.

“Let me catch my breath first, okay?” 

He said, and she nodded a little, tongue darting out to lick her lips. They stayed like this for moment, foreheads pressed against one another, just breathing. Then, there was a smell, Atsuko realized… A smell like something was burning… the stir fry! She pulled her head back from his and looked over at the stove. Sure enough, the skillet was smoking, stir fry long burnt to a black crisp. Kakashi turned his head slowly, still in a slight daze as he followed her eyes. When he recognized the situation as well he muttered out, 

“Shit…”

Before pulling away from her entirely to snatch the skillet from the stove top and place it in the sink to cool. He grabbed a kitchen towel from the front of the oven and began waving it around furiously to disperse the smoke that had been lingering in the air for an undetermined amount of time. As Atsuko’s eyes adjusted, she realized the that smoke had grown quite thick and neither of them had realized it. 

She laughed, slowly sliding off the counter to see if she could help, only to have her legs almost give out under her. She reached out quickly to grab the counter so she wouldn’t fall. Kakashi dropped the towel on the table immediately and rushed to her side, guiding her to a kitchen chair and helping her sit. She giggled the entire time, even after he had helped seat her. 

“Fuck… I don’t think I’ve ever been unable to walk after…”

She mumbled quietly, watching as Kakashi’s face went from one of concern to a shit eating grin as he chuckled, leaning against the table in front of her as he looked down at her face. 

“I’ve also never seen you so quiet. So maybe if you’re ever running your mouth too much for my tastes, I just have to eat you out to shut you up.” 

He teased, grinning when she dropped her head back with a laugh. 

“Oh, I’m just going to talk even more now, if only to make sure you stick to that promise.”

She responded, making him laugh this time. She took the time to drag her eyes down his body, the gorgeous face and strong jawline, his neck where his mask was still bunched up, the black long sleeve shirt showing off the lines of lean muscle. Then his pants, with an all too obvious bulge front and center. The smile on her face vanished and she bit her bottom lip, looking back up to see him staring down at her, arms crossed over his chest with a quirked brow. 

“Enjoying the show?”

He teased, and she nodded, all the brain cells she would normally use for a snarky comeback were preoccupied with the thought of getting him out of his clothes. She felt a resurgence of warmth between her legs and she shifted a little uncomfortably in her seat. Her hand moved of its own accord as she reached out to grab him through his pants, watching as his head dropped back and his arms fell to the table for support. He was… big. She could tell that just from palming him through his clothes, running her fingers along the length, almost a little mesmerized as the lust began to take over her senses again. When she went up to slip the tips of her fingers past his waistband, Kakashi’s hand flew out and grabbed her wrist. She looked up at him through her lashes, eyes wide in confusion but completely willing to do whatever he asked. 

“Bedroom.”

Was all he said, letting go of her hand and dipping down quickly. He gripped her waist and picked her up, quite literally tossing her over his shoulder, ass in the air. Atsuko squealed at the sudden change in position but immediately began giggling as he carried her down the hall, opening the door to his room with one hand. She didn’t have much time to adjust to the change in location before he was tossing her down on his bed, bouncing slightly she continued to laugh as he stood at the foot of the bed, hurriedly pulling his shirt off. 

“Shirt. Off.”

He commanded, and Atsuko sat up immediately, the heat between her legs growing at his demanding tone. She tugged her turtleneck off over her head and tossed it to the floor, making quick work of her bra immediately after and tossing it in the same direction. Her hands moved to hook under the waistband of her skirt and Kakashi stopped unbuttoning his pants. 

“Leave that on.” 

He ordered and she pulled her hands away from the material immediately, leaning back on her elbows on the bed to watch him. With his shirt gone she was free to drag her eyes over the pale expanse of his chest, the moonlight from his window shining rays on him in the dark room. Littered with silver scars that shifted and moved over lean, defined muscles. He wasn’t insanely muscular, but she could tell he was strong from the way his arms flexed as he undid the button on his pants. Her eyes were drawn downwards, noticing a light dusting of silver hair that disappeared below his waistline, a deep V in his hips like an arrow pointing to the thing she most desired. He slid his pants and boxers down in one motion and when he rose back up to full height, Atsuko couldn’t help the light gasp that escaped her lips. Just like she’d felt through his pants, he was big. His cock sprang up at full attention, not too thick but long with several large veins running through it. He stopped for a moment, bringing a hand up to close his fist around the base of it, giving himself a few languid pumps as she stared, practically drooling at the motion. 

“See… what you do to me?”

He grunted, and her eyes snapped back up to his face, catching the look he was giving her as his gaze raked over her own body. His eyes hooded and mouth slightly agape as he stroked his length. She involuntarily rubbed her legs together at the sight, trying to find some friction. The image of that seemed to be all he needed to release his grip and descend on her. She opened her legs quickly to accommodate him, as he pressed a bruising kiss to her mouth, nipping at her bottom lip with his teeth before forcing his tongue inside, hungry and demanding. Atsuko returned the urgency and moaned into his mouth at the feeling of his hard cock brushing against the inside of her thigh. 

Kakashi pulled away from her mouth with a pop, pressing wet, open mouthed, kisses down her jaw and neck. Atsuko’s head dropped back against the pillows, fingers returning to his hair as he moved. A slight gaze of his teeth against a spot on the side of her neck made her hips buck in response. She felt him smirk against her skin before he latched onto the spot, sucking a dark hickey and washing the spot with his tongue. Atsuko let out a cry, arching up into him and causing her bare nipples to rub against his chest, sending another wave of pleasure through her. Once he seemed satisfied with the mark he’d given her, he continued his way down. His hands came up to cup her soft breasts, lapping at one of her nipples before pulling it into his mouth and sucking, using his thumb and forefinger to lightly tweak the other one.

It was all too much. His mouth was sinful, the way it sucked and lapped at her skin, making the most glorious sounds. Her fingers in his hair tightened and she gave a tug, causing him to growl against her and switch nipples, doubling down on his ministrations and rocking his hips against her like a dog in heat. The feeling of his heavy cock dragging back and forth against her lower abdomen, trapped between their bodies, forced Atsuko to choke out, 

“Please, Kakashi… i-if you’re not inside of me in the next 30 seconds… I’m going to lose my mind.” 

She managed between pants and whimpers as his mouth continued to work over her sensitive nipples. The words had their own affect on him though as he groaned into her flesh, the vibration caused her to buck again and let out a gasp. She was still so wet from earlier and she was fairly sure at this rate she’d end up soaking his sheets. Just when she was sure she couldn’t take any more, he released her nipple with a pop, a string of saliva connecting her to his mouth as he pulled away and sat back on his knees. He leaned over her again, grabbing another pillow from the top of the bed. 

“Here, lift your hips…”

He breathed out, going from domineering and urgent to patient and caring in the blink of an eye. Atsuko did as he instructed, feeling him slide the pillow under her hips so she could settle into a comfortable position. Kakashi stared down at her, eyes raking over her body at the same time as his hands. Starting at her breasts and running down her torso, the dip of her waist and settling on her plush hips with a light squeeze. The ghosting of his fingertips left goosebumps in their wake and Atsuko found her heart beating faster. He was looking at her like… fuck, like he loved her? Before she could process this though, he was leaning back down to capture her mouth in a slow kiss. 

Unlike the urgent kisses from before, the passion behind this one was suffocating. Atsuko found her fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his head as he only deepened the kiss, sucking on her bottom lip gently and drawing a strangled gasp from her when he pressed his tongue to the roof of her mouth. While she was distracted by the feel of his mouth against hers, one of the hands on her hips shifted slowly between them. Atsuko’s hips jerked upwards and she gasped into his mouth when his thumb found her clit again, drawing quick circles. 

Kakashi didn’t let up on the kiss, only using her gasps to his advantage to delve his tongue in deeper. The pleasure slowly building inside of her was white hot and she couldn’t stop the way her hips rocked with his movements, openly moaning into his mouth. Slowly, the combination of the kiss and the overwhelming pleasure that was just shy of enough, made her light headed, a stray tear rolling down her cheek from the strain. Kakashi pulled back, finally letting her catch her breath but not letting up on her clit. He panted as he towered above her, watching her squirm.

“C’mon… I know you can give me another one…”

He encouraged, doubling down on his efforts and increasing the pressure to her sensitive nub. Her back arched off the bed and her fists tightened in the sheets as she all but sobbed at the building of tension that just wouldn’t seem to break. Sensing what she needed, Kakashi brought the other hand down from her hip, quickly sliding two fingers inside of her wet heat to the knuckle. He curled them just right, using the palm of the hand that was working her clit to press down gently on her stomach and that was all it took. The tightening coil finally snapped and Atsuko’s body went rigid as her nerves overloaded and the pleasure washed over her. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she let out a string of incoherent words and moans. 

“Fuck… Kakashi… please! fuck… fuck… fuck…”

She chanted, hips winding wildly against his hands as he worked her through her second orgasm of the night. This time, he removed his thumb from her clit, deciding to give the overworked bundle of nerves a break. Once she melted back into the mattress, a slick sheen of sweat covering her body, Kakashi slid his fingers from her, using the product of her orgasm to stroke himself. 

“Still want me inside you?”

He asked, voice husky and deep. Atsuko nodded immediately, mouth hanging open as she struggled to catch her breath. 

“Please…”

She whined, rolling her hips and dropping her head back against the pillows. It didn’t take much more convincing as Kakashi leaned forward, one hand gripping the base of his aching cock and the other planting next to her head to support himself. Atsuko pulled her knees up a little to give him better access, looking down between their bodies as he guided himself to her entrance. The head slid in with little to no resistance, he’d made sure she was ready for him. Atsuko dropped her head back again, moaning as he slowly slid inside, finally filling her in the way she needed. Once he’d bottomed out, they both stayed still for a moment, Kakashi muttering, 

“Fuck… you’re so tight…”

Under his breath as his forehead came down to rest against hers. Atsuko whimpered in response, rolling her hips and gasping at the feeling of him, hot and heavy, seated inside her. 

“Please move, Kakashi…”

She whined and he placed a chaste kiss to her lips before pulling back and sitting up on his knees again, hands gripping her hips. He pulled out almost completely, painfully slow, and slid back in at the same pace with a hiss. Atsuko let out a groan at the feeling of him stretching her again, and she reached out blindly, looking for some part of him to grasp onto. He brought one of his hands up, tangling their fingers together and resting them on her hip as he slowly began to pick up the pace. Moving his hips steadily, listening as her breathing quickened and she let out a whimper every time he sheathed his cock in her. Once Atsuko was adjusted to the feeling of him inside her, she began to roll her hips in time with his thrusts, gasping as she felt the length of him drag against the perfect spot. 

Kakashi seemed to notice and moved again, striking the spot and watching as a tremor raked Atsuko’s body, a broken moan falling from her swollen lips. He sped up, making sure to angle his hips perfectly with every move, hitting that spot over and over again until Atsuko was a writhing mess, mouth hanging open as she gasped, the air forced from her lungs every time that flash of pleasure washed over her. That coil was tightening again, the pleasure causing the pressure to build deep within her. He just filled her so perfectly… so fucking big and curved exactly right. Her mind was completely gone at this point, only able to focus on the sound of their bodies slapping together, and the sounds of Kakashi’s grunts and curses. 

“Taking me so well, baby… look so pretty like this… moaning on my cock…”

He muttered, voice deep and raspy as he tried to focus on not finishing yet. The sound of his voice and the filthy words went straight to Atsuko’s core. Her cunt clenched around him in a response and they both let out a strangled moan, the heat between them raising impossibly higher. He leaned back down to capture her lips in a kiss, their hands still tangled together between their sweaty bodies. His hips quickened their movements, the slight shift in angle sending an already sensitive Atsuko to the edge quickly. The kiss grew sloppy and Kakashi mumbled against her mouth. 

“C’mon… one more… give me just one more…”

Atsuko let out a strangled groan against his mouth, the words and the way he was drilling into her making the pressure inside her build, thrumming and so… so close. She just needed a little more. Her hips rocked in time with his, trying to keep up the pace and chasing her own high as his breath fanned across her face, panting. She brought her legs up, wrapping them around his waist and locking her ankles together behind his back to draw him impossibly deeper. That was is it… Just a little more… She forced her eyes open for the first time in several moments, having been previously screwed shut in ecstasy. When she did, she was met with Kakashi hovering over her, watching her face as it twisted in pleasure. His mouth hung open, lips glistening with spit and she made eye contact with him, his eyes glistening slightly in the moonlight and his gaze full of lust. One eye dark and pupil blown, and the eye with the Sharingan peering down at her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Those few seconds of tense eye contact was all it took for Atsuko to cum again, hand flying up to dig her nails into his forearm as she threw her head back with a cry of his name. 

“K-Kakashi!”

Tears rolled down her cheeks freely now, the pleasure from her third orgasm making her spasm against him, stuck somewhere between wanting to pull away because it was too much, and wanting to grind against him until she was a trembling mess in his arms. Her body moved of its own accord, hips jerking against his violently as she bucked, legs trembling against his back.

The feeling of her tightening around him like a vice also sent Kakashi over his own edge, thrusts growing wild as his head dropped forward, burying in the crook of her neck and groaning loudly against her skin. They rode out their highs together, grinding against each other as the waves of pleasure rocked through them. Atsuko finally worked through the orgasm, collapsing fully against the bed, breathing heavily with Kakashi laying on top of her. She released her grip on his arm, realizing her nails would probably leave him with a nasty bruise as her mind slowly came back to her. She opted to run a hand down his bare back as he caught his breath next to her ear. He lifted his head, meeting her blissed out expression with one of his own, before he went pale and his face dropped. He released her hand from its hold between their bodies and brought it up immediately, wiping at the tears on her cheeks as he pulled back from her quickly. 

“You’re crying? Did I hurt you?”

He asked, a little panic in his still gravely voice as he sat up and slipped his softening member from inside of her, watching as she winced slightly at the loss. She shook her head, a hoarse laugh bubbling up from her chest. 

“No. No of course not…”

She giggled, absolutely giddy as all tension melted from her muscles and she sagged against the bed, thoroughly fucked out and the closest to nirvana she’d ever been. Kakashi looked at her confused from his position on his knees, eyes scanning her body for any signs of injury. 

“Kakashi, babe, it was just that good. 3 orgasms in 45 minutes? It’s a lot. I promise you didn’t hurt me.”

She promised, sitting up a little and reaching out a hand to run through his sweaty hair, some of the strands had fallen and hung in front of his face. She gave him a blissed out smile as he seemed to relax, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips. 

“Let me clean you up…”

He muttered against her mouth, slipping from the bed and out of the room, coming back with a wet rag. He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching between her legs to wipe up some of the result of their orgasms, and she hissed a little as the cool rag came in contact with her oversensitive sex, he apologized a little before continuing to wipe down the inside of her thighs, then turning to the rag on himself. Once he was content he’d cleaned the worst of it, he opened the window to air out the room and crawled over her to lay in the bed, flat on his back as they both stared at the ceiling. They both relaxed, the chirp of crickets flooding in from the open window, filling the room with sounds of a fall night and their breathing. Atsuko was the first to speak. 

“I… that was fucking amazing…”

She stated, voice hoarse and raw. Kakashi chuckled beside her, the bed shaking slightly. Atsuko rolled her head over to stare at his face as he grinned up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah, it was…” 

He replied, turning to look at her as well, the Sharingan eye closed again. They grinned at each other like school children for a few moments before she leaned out and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, rolling over on her side to curl up against him, wrapping her leg around his thigh and resting her head and hand on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, staring down at the top of her head before placing a quick kiss there.

With her mind back in working order, Atsuko considered what had just happened. It had been so… passionate and raw. She remembered an observation she’d made about the masked-ninja when they first met. He was a man of actions rather than words… So she would just allow his actions to speak for themselves in this instance. She’d tried to get him to open up a little, comforted him, and then he had fucked her like they were married and hadn’t seen each other in months. Seemed pretty straight forward. She was in deep with him, and he was in deep with her. She accepted this as fact and drew small patterns on his chest with her fingers, tracing some scars lightly. 

“Seriously. Best sex I’ve ever had. So… like, you can’t get mad if it makes me a little crazy. Might show up to your house at odd hours of the night, steal your underwear. That kind of stuff.” 

She joked, cheek pressed against his chest when he laughed, playing absentmindedly with her hair.

“Fair enough. But same goes for you. Can’t really fault me if I turn into Genma, leaving notes in your mailbox and stalking you.”

He responded, causing Atsuko to laugh as well. She turned her head look up at him, meeting his gaze as he looked down at her with a soft smile. 

“Well, then, it’s settled. If we just stay together neither of us will have to worry about the other turning into a stalker.” 

She said, and Kakashi smiled a little more at this, dipping down to kiss her forehead. 

“Deal.”


	12. The Past and The Future

Atsuko found herself standing to the left of Lord Third’s desk, hands clasped tightly in front of her as she chewed the inside of her cheek to shreds. Iruka gently elbowed her side, causing her to whip around to look at where he was stationed next to her, giving an encouraging smile. She returned it, nerves settling a little. Today was the day Lord Third determined the Jonin instructors for the three man squads of Genin that had just passed their exams. The room in front of her was full of Jonin. Friends. Asuma, Kurenai, and, hovering closer to the back of the group but still visible, as always, Kakashi. They kept an eye on each other at all times, no matter where they were, and now was no exception. She glanced in his direction, only to find him staring at her already, a soft smile on his face. Her muscles relaxed a little and she clenched her jaw slightly, trying to keep her teeth from digging into the meat of her cheek again.

It shouldn’t have been this nerve wracking. This was standard procedure… When a new group of students passed their exams and became Genin, they were assigned to three man squads and placed with a Jonin instructor. Standard practice. But, still, it was a little different. These three man squads were going to be composed of children she’d taught and grown extremely attached to over the past 4 years. She didn’t necessarily think any of the Jonin in the room would be unfit instructors, but she truly wanted the best for these kids, and she had her own opinions on how the teams should be divided up… Then, there was the added nervousness of worrying about where Sasuke was going to end up. He was a little more mature now, but still didn’t really work well with others. His training had furthered the gap between him and the other students, and he had graduated top of his class. He just didn’t relate to any of the other kids… or he refused to try. Hellbent on getting through the Academy, getting as strong as possible, and hunting down Itachi. His motivations were different from the other Genin, so it divided him from them even further. He and Atsuko had maintained their relationship as it matured with him. And when he and Kakashi weren’t lobbing passive-aggressive shots at one another, they got along decently as well. It seemed he was content with those being his only real connections. So the best she could hope for was an instructor that wouldn’t take Sasuke’s shit, and that Sasuke respected enough to listen to.

She glanced around the room one more time as it seemed everyone was finally there. Asuma would be a good instructor, she thought. This was Kurenai’s first year, and she was a little mild mannered for Atsuko’s tastes… Kakashi was a good choice as well, considering he already had a relationship with Sasuke, but that may be the very reason he wouldn’t be selected. Kakashi had even moved into their home 6 months ago. She couldn’t imagine that would be acceptable. As she was going over different possibilities in her head, she heard Lord Third clear his throat, and the room fell totally silent. She and Iruka both turned to face him, as did all of the Jonin in the room.

“Okay, I’ve called everyone here to go over the squad lists for this years Academy graduates. Like every year, we will be assigning 3 Genin to a squad, and assigning that squad to a Jonin instructor.”

Lord Third advised, several heads in the room nodding in acknowledgment. Again, standard practice. Without any further words, he began listing off the teams. Atsuko listened intently for familiar names. After a few teams, she heard the first set.

“Kurenai you will be in charge of Team 8. Consisting of Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka, and Hinata Hyuga.”

He read off, Kurenai nodded and moved forward to take the file on the students from his hand. Atsuko could actually see that team working well together. Shino and Kiba were already friendly, and Hinata could use a loud mouth like Kiba to help her open up a little. They were all also great trackers. She wouldn’t have put them together herself, but it made sense.

“Asuma, you’re in charge of Team 10. Ino Yamanaka, Choji Akimichi, and Shikamaru Nara.”

Lord Third advised, as Asuma took the file with an affirmative nod before resuming his place next to Kurenai. An obvious combination. Their clans had had deep ties for generations. They were keeping the tradition and the agreement between the clans satisfied with the added benefit of actually seeming like a well rounded team, personality wise. Shikamaru and Choji were attached at the hip, had been since they were young. Ino was a spit fire. Quick witted and smart mouthed, but she also had a caring side. She would be a good balance between the two boys.

Lord Third listed off a few more teams, all of them sounding well thought out and Atsuko had no complaints. Until she realized… Sasuke’s name hadn’t been called yet and neither had…-

“Kakashi, I’m giving you Team 7. Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, and Sakura Haruno.”

Atsuko’s thoughts were interrupted as she heard the last team get called. Her eyes widened a little and she glanced at Kakashi, who returned her look with a shrug of his shoulders. He moved forward to take his file as well, slipping it under his arm and returning back to his previous position.

“Those are all of the teams and they will be turned over to your care starting tomorrow. This is a talented and unique group of Genin. I hope they all prove worthy and pass your respective tests. That’s all I have for you. You’re all dismissed.”

Lord Third finished, and slowly the crowd began to disperse. Atsuko was still a little stunned by Sasuke not only being placed on Kakashi’s team, but also having Naruto as his teammate. In fact, the whole situation made her nervous. Iruka nudged her again, noticing she was spaced out and in thought. She looked up to meet his eyes and he nodded towards the door, a motion for her to follow. As they were heading for the door, a voice called out behind them.

“Atsuko. A moment, please.”

Lord Third stated. Iruka turned back to quirk a brow at Atsuko, who only returned it with a shrug.

“Wait for me in the hall.”

She advised, and the man nodded before exiting the office. Atsuko turned back around, taking a few more steps so she was in the center of the room, hands clasped behind her back at attention.

“Yes, Lord Third, sir?”

She questioned, making eye contact with the much older man. The anger at him hadn’t faded much over the years, and she still did everything in her power to not be in a room with him. However, her job came first and she always did what was necessary, even if it demanded a little restraint of her tongue. The man slowly rose from his seat, turning his back to her and walking towards the large window behind him, peering out with a soft sigh.

“Sasuke has graduated from the Academy and is now a Genin. You must understand this means that your mission of training and caring for him is now over. He is in Kakashi’s hands now.”

Lord Third started, voice commanding as ever. She gave a curt nod that he couldn’t see. She knew this was coming but she didn’t think he would want to speak with her so soon. Sasuke had only just graduated a few days prior. She thought back to the day he passed the exit exam and graduation ceremony.

_Atsuko, Kakashi, and Sasuke had celebrated that evening. Atsuko made his favorite meal and she and Kakashi had each gotten him a small gift. It wasn’t like she didn’t expect him to graduate, of course she had. But she tried to instill in him over the years that no matter the expectations or obvious outcome, it was still important to celebrate accomplishments. She had forced Sasuke to help her a little in the kitchen, showing him how to make this meal because she wouldn’t be around forever to make it for him. Surprisingly, he picked up on it rather quickly and seemed to enjoy himself during the process. After dinner, she and Kakashi presented him with their gifts._

_Kakashi had gotten him a brand new set of kunai and shuriken to replace the worn ones from his training. These were for missions, he’d said. Sasuke had tried to play it off a little, though he wasn’t able to disguise the excited glint in his eyes as he studied the clean steel, twirling the kunai in between his fingers. Atsuko had given him her gift next. Two stainless steel rings. They were just simple bands with two words inscribed on the inside of each one. Mind and Body. He had looked at them, a little confused, until she started to explain._

_“My mother gave me those rings when I was training. You wear one on the middle finger of each hand. They are supposed to help with chakra control. The Kamiyama clan specialized in focusing their chakra into their hands…”_

_She demonstrated, a dark purple aura forming around her right hand as she held it up. Sasuke’s eyes had widened at the sight, reaching out to touch but she pulled her hand back before he could._

_“I wouldn’t. Let me finish. The chakra we focus into our hands is used to essentially infect our opponents chakra. It’s potent and allows us to perform incredibly complex Genjutsu. Like you’ve seen in our training, I don’t need to touch someone to place them under Genjutsu, but using this method makes it much more difficult for the opponent to escape from. My point in telling you this is that those rings were how I learned to control that ability. I’m not sure if you’ll be able to use them, and once you awaken your Sharingan it would best to focus on training your eyes… But still, I wanted you to have them. As a momento. The words around the band are important as well, but they are missing something.”_

_She continued, crouching down to where he was seated on the couch, holding the rings in the palm of his hand. She reached out and supported his hand with her own, bringing her finger up to ghost over the interior band of each ring._

_“Mind and Body. Both very important in the Shinobi world, requiring constant attention and upkeep to maintain peek performance. But there is something equally as important.”_

_She poked his chest._

_“Heart and Soul.”_

_Sasuke looked down at where her finger was pressed against his chest, right over his heart and he swallowed thickly before turning back up to look at her. His eyes were still wide, but there was a determined glint in them now and he gave her a single nod, closing his fist around the rings. She rose to full height, turning around to grab a small box off of the coffee table then facing him again._

_“Which brings me to my second gift.”_

_She handed him the box after he’d slipped the rings onto his middle fingers. When he opened it, there a black ninja bag laid inside some tissue paper. Not unlike the one he currently wore, but made with a better material and a little larger. The main difference was the symbol of the leaf, hand stitched on the front flap in white thread._

_“Open it.”_

_She encouraged, watching as Sasuke pulled the bag from the paper and flipped it open. On the inside of the flap, embroidered with the same white thread, were two words. Heart and Soul. He ran his finger over the stitching and turned his eyes back up to her in a silent question._

_“Now that you’re officially a Shinobi, you need to keep something in mind at all times. I know you have your own motivations, and despite my reservations you know that I support your goals, no matter what. However, being a Shinobi isn’t just a path you should take to further your own agenda. When you go on missions, when you fight, you are doing it for one main reason. The protection of the Hidden Leaf Village and the people who reside here.”_

_She explained, knowing it was a little hypocritical considering her own feelings about the current leadership and what they had done to Sasuke and Itachi. But all the other village residents were innocent and deserved to live good, long, quiet lives. Not only that, but they fought to uphold an ideal. The ideal that clans could reside in harmony, that working together made them stronger than fighting for dominance. Though wars would continue to happen and rifts would continue to form and be patched over, the end goal was always the same in her mind. Eventual peace and the protection of innocents._

_“The people who live in this village, friends, family, strangers, and even the people you dislike. You are fighting to keep them safe. You are a representative of the villages strength. A descendant of all the powerful Shinobi that came before you. So wear that symbol as proudly as the Uchiha symbol on your back and keep in mind that maintaining your heart and soul are just as important as maintaining your mind and body. The people who are precious to you will always be here to help you keep them in check.”_

__

_She finished, the boy having long turned his eyes down to the satchel, tracing fingers over the patterns she’d embroidered there. He gave a nod of his head, bringing his head back up to make eye contact with her, surprisingly soft._

_“Thank you, Atsuko-sensei. Kakashi-sensei.”_

_He said, voice confident and determined. Kakashi gave a nod in return, having stood behind Atsuko with his arms crossed the entire time, listening to her speech quietly. She leaned out again, pressing a kiss to the top of Sasuke’s head. He’d long outgrown the display, but it had become a habit for her and she had reserved the gesture for when they were at home._

_“Of course, badass.”_

_She’d cried in front of Kakashi later that night. It was rare, but it definitely wasn’t the first time. He was patient, held her and listened when she explained why. Sasuke was a Genin now. He’d grown so fast and over the years she’d actually come to refer to him as her son. She was so unbelievably proud of the young man he’d become, but on the flip side of that, this ‘mission’ was over. She wasn’t sure what that meant for their future. She’d never spoken to Sasuke in detail about why he’d been sent to live with her, but he did know it had been requested of her by the Hokage. She didn’t think he would just up and move out now that he was of Genin level… but it did feel like some kind of chapter in her life was closing. The reality that Sasuke was growing stronger and would continue to do so. The inevitable fight between him and Itachi. All of it was becoming real, slowly but surely, and the dread it filled her with was unmatched. Still, she’d told him she supported him, and she would. It seemed like Sasuke had calmed some since his youth, taking her bits of wisdom to heart… but there were times during training when she could see that hatred in his eyes. In the ferocity of his movements. The gnashing of his teeth and the snarl that accompanied the sound. In those moments, the sense of impending doom rained down on her in torrential waves._

Just like now. Standing in front of Lord Hokage, in the present and only thinking about the feelings she had been overwhelmed with that night. Still, they gripped her, making her throat swell slightly. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to draw a little blood to force herself from the thoughts. After a little silence she responded to his observation.

“Yes sir, I understand. Do I need to draft up some kind of report? Since it was technically a mission.”

She asked, voice wavering ever so slightly, a dead give away that she had been lost in her thoughts not moments before. Lord Third shook his head, turning back to face her.

“No. His file from the Academy should work as a testament to your success. We will update your records to reflect the missions completion. Now, I do have a few questions for you. Please sit.”

He instructed, gesturing to the chairs that had been moved from the front of his desk to the sides of the room to accommodate the earlier crowd of Jonin. She nodded, forcing her feet from where they were rooted to the floor to grab one of the chairs, bringing it to front of his desk and waiting for him to take his seat again before she lowered into her own. The parallel of that morning four years ago was so obvious she could almost feel Danzo’s suffocating presence in the room. She could hear Lord Third telling her Itachi’s story again. Could feel her heartbeat rising in her throat.

“First and foremost, I am curious if you would like to maintain your position at the Academy? With Sasuke reaching Genin, he will be going on missions now. You once told me that the boy went everywhere with you, and he did for four years. With him out of the village for extended periods of time, do you wish to continue assisting Iruka? Or would you like to resume your duties as a Shinobi?”  
  
He asked, voice physically pulling her from her racing thoughts as she re-focused her eyes on the man in front of her. With a hard swallow, she managed to calm her nerves slightly. Crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap she responded.

“I do love teaching at the Academy. But I feel like that chapter in my life ended when that group of children graduated. I would like to continue my Shinobi work, and if at all possible, assist some of the new teams on missions as well.”

She replied, knowing it may be a long shot but unable to stop the request. All of the children felt like her own at this point. She’d trained them, taught them, shared meals with them. Iruka had kept a more professional distance, but every time Naruto asked if she wanted to have lunch together, she couldn’t say no. Or if Shikamaru asked if she wanted to come watch the clouds with him and Choji after class, she would always oblige. She genuinely liked all of them as people and couldn’t wait to see what kind of adults they’d grow up to be.

“Yes, Iruka has stated on more than one occasion that you have a particular bond with some of the students. It’s not surprising you’d like to assist them further. I see no issue with that and we may assign you to those squads once they’ve started some more difficult missions. For the time being, I’d like to place you back with Tenzo to assist with some Anbu Intel missions.”

He advised, and Atsuko nodded in understanding. She was not a part of the Anbu, but her talents assisted them on their intel missions. It was mostly what she’d done before Sasuke. The idea of working with Yamato again ignited a long doused fire inside her, excited to return to his side on missions.

“My next question. Do you wish for Sasuke to continue living with you? The mission is complete, so we’d be able to transfer the money you were receiving for upkeep to him if he were to need his own apartment.”

She shook her head immediately, eyes wide at the thought.

“Absolutely not. He is welcome to stay with me and I would prefer it that way, sir. Money or not.”

She responded, a little surprised he would ask something like that. She wondered how many people would truly be able to raise a child for 4 years and then just abandon them afterwards. Lord Third nodded in understanding.

“I suspected as much. Very well then, you are resuming Shinobi work and, from what I understand, Kakashi Hatake is living with you as well. The council can no longer continue the payments for housing. You are back on the village payroll officially.”

Lord Third advised, Atsuko nodding with no complaints. She figured the payments would have stopped when she got the job at the Academy, but the checks kept coming. Guilt money. His comment about Kakashi living with her peaked her interest a little, she tilted her head to the side.

“Actually, sir, I have a question as well… You are aware of my relationship with Kakashi. That we’ve been dating for almost as long as I’ve had custody of Sasuke and he does live with us. I figured this would be an issue when assigning teams? Fraternization and such. Are you not concerned that Kakashi and Sasuke’s relationship could cause issues?”  
  
She asked, genuinely curious as to why they had been placed together. Lord Third shook his head slowly, hand coming up to run over his white beard a couple times before he responded.

“No, it doesn’t concern me. I know Kakashi well and I understand what motivates him. I have no fear that he would give Sasuke any kind of special treatment or allow their personal relationship to interfere with training and missions.”

Atsuko chuckled a little, ducking her head immediately as he spoke. Lord Third raised a brow at her, silently questioning what the hell was so funny.

“I-I apologize sir. I understand your logic completely, but special treatment was not my concern when asking that question. Sasuke and Kakashi… they often but heads. I suppose, even if they had no prior relationship, that would happen anyway. But Sasuke does respect Kakashi, so I believe things will work out for the best. I suppose I was mostly just curious as to whether or not Kakashi and I’s personal relationship had any effect on the determination of teams.”

She explained, and Lord Third nodded again, the ghost of a smile on his face.

Sasuke and Kakashi hurled smart ass comments at one another like it was a pass time. It started when Atsuko had finally started bringing Kakashi around for dinner.

_The first time had been relatively calm as Sasuke and Kakashi tried to figure each other out. Mild conversations were mostly started by Atsuko, asking them each about their days and trying to get some kind of flow going, only to fail miserably every time as they all fell back into an awkward silence. Eventually though, it seemed like Sasuke had decided his approach._

_“So, are you and Atsuko-Sensei going to get married?”_

_He had asked after another round of silence, only filled by the sounds of utensils on plates. Kakashi had choked on the bite of food he was chewing immediately, managing to choke it down when Atsuko reached over to pat his back as she glared daggers at Sasuke. He was wearing a giant shit eating grin, snickering ever so slightly. Once Kakashi had managed to breathe again, he relaxed his face and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms as he figured out the boys plot to mess with him._

_“Sure. Maybe you can attend, ya know, once you’re tall enough to see over the pews.”_

_He’d fired back, Sasuke’s face immediately going from taunting to a deep frown, eyebrows drawn together in a glare._

_And that’s how things had gone ever since. Sasuke throwing a jab at Kakashi, and Kakashi not holding back in returning it. At first, it had driven Atsuko damn near crazy. She worried constantly, thinking that Sasuke really didn’t like the older man. Every time they hurled these hateful comments at each other, she found herself stunned and a little hurt. Once she’d finally had enough, she’d asked Sasuke one afternoon on their walk home from class._

_“Sasuke… why do you dislike Kakashi?”_

_Sasuke stopped dead in his tracks and immediately turned to look up at her, eyebrows drawn together in genuine bewilderment. He shook his head._

_“What do you mean? I like Kakashi.”_

_He said, a confused lilt in his voice. It was Atsuko’s turn to look down at him with disbelief in her eyes._

_“What? You two fight like cats and dogs every time he comes over. To be quite honest, you even start it most of the time.”_

_She responded, only to watch as Sasuke shrugged and continued walking._

_“I just want to see what he’ll say. He seems cool, though.”_

_Came his easy reply, not feeling the need to explain any further. When she had asked Kakashi the same question, he’d given her a similar answer. So she gave up and figured this would just be the way they communicated. It seemed to all fall to the wayside once Kakashi started to help Sasuke during some of his training sessions. Sparing and showing him some new tricks. She realized, watching them, that Sasuke really respected Kakashi. And Kakashi liked Sasuke. She also realized just how similar they were. Pasts full of tragedy, coping with apathy and smart assed remarks. When Kakashi finally moved in, six months ago, the jabs had become more teasing in nature, not as harsh. They’d even given each other nicknames. Kakashi called Sasuke ‘Moody’ and Sasuke called Kakashi ‘Boss’, though that one was often said sarcastically, with an eye roll soon to follow._

Still, as she thought back on the last few years and their relationship, it made her feel more at ease with Sasuke’s placement on Kakashi’s team. They bickered, but if Sasuke managed to pass his test, Kakashi would be a fine instructor. Atsuko turned her attention back to Lord Third, who had allowed her a few moments of silence as it seemed she was lost in thought again. As if he was able to tell exactly what she was thinking, he finally replied.

“Kakashi is a fantastic Shinobi. I’m sure he will make a fine instructor for Sasuke. Now, there is one more thing.”

He led, and Atsuko nodded for him to continue.

“My final question, and I need this one answered with complete honesty. How do you feel Sasuke has progressed? And did you ever advise him of what we discussed the day of the Uchiha Massacre?”

He asked, bold and no beating around the bush. Atsuko shifted in her seat slightly as the tension in the room rose so fast it made her head spin a little. She knew he would ask something similar to this and discussing it semi-openly made her slightly uncomfortable, considering the anger she still harbored. Nonetheless, she spoke up.

“No, I have not told Sasuke anything about that. I will not. I’ve come to terms with it, though it still makes me furious. I believe I now understand why Itachi requested I train him. And because I’ve reached that conclusion, I will respect Itachi’s wishes and allow him to continue to shape the narrative for Sasuke. As far as his progress, the file should explain most of it. Talented and bright. He’s not Itachi, but he’s come a long way. He may even surpass his brother if he continues this way. He trains tirelessly, no surprise considering what his motivation is. His chakra control is incredible and he’s mastered many jutsu. Genjutsu training hasn’t been the most fruitful considering he has yet to awaken the Sharingan, but he is able to manipulate some images, just not for extended amounts of time… I-I’m sure all of this is in his file.”

She finished, realizing she was rambling on a little. She was incredibly proud of Sasuke’s improvement and often gushed about him to Iruka or Yamato. But this was different. Lord Third was essentially asking her to rate her own performance in training him. She couldn’t take all of the credit. Kakashi had started to show up to training sessions a couple years ago, lending a hand and helping Sasuke master several fire style Jutsu. He also learned a lot at the Academy from Iruka, basic things she didn’t consider to cover in their private training because she’d forgotten the first steps long ago. Lord Third nodded in turn, flicking open a manila folder on his desk and peering down at its contents.

“It is. But I wanted to hear your assessment. And, as we discussed four years ago, it is for the best that you continue to keep the information about Itachi from Sasuke. From everyone else as well for that matter.”

He reminded, looking up at her through his lashes while his head was still ducked. She nodded in understanding. Including Kakashi is what he meant. That was given. She’d never even considered telling him. Besides her concerns that true justice would never be served in that situation, her main fear was the truth coming out through other means. Sasuke would likely hate her for the rest of her life for not telling him sooner. Quickly, she locked away the thought, dispelling it with a slight shake of her head.

“I understand. Always have. Is that all?”

She asked, uncrossing her legs and standing from her seat when he gave her a nod in the affirmative. She gave a short bow and turned to exit, but stopped short of the door, hand falling away from the handle. Atsuko had remained quiet for four years and if she truly wanted to close this chapter, she felt she needed to speak her mind if only for her own sake. She turned on her heel to face him again, walking to stand behind the chair she’d previously occupied.

“Lord Third… If I may speak freely for a moment?”

She asked, and he turned his head up fully to regard her, nodding and gesturing with his hands for her to continue as he leaned back in his chair. She swallowed the lump in her throat and began, fingers jittering slightly.

“Four years ago when you gave me this mission and told me the truth about Itachi… I was so unbelievably angry I couldn’t think straight for months. Every moment I had to spend in this office and bite my tongue felt like an eternity. What was asked of Itachi was unfair, deplorable, and completely avoidable had some adults acted their age. I meant what I said that morning and I still feel the same now. It was the first time I was ever truly embarrassed to wear this headband.”

She gestured to her forehead. He didn’t look like he wanted to kill her yet, so she continued, finding confidence in her words.

“Preparing the next generation of Shinobi has shown me a few things. I truly believe that the era of war and turmoil can end with your generation, sir. And I will do everything in my power to ensure that the children of this village grow up and forge a path of peace, no matter the obstacle. For the sake of future generations. So there may not be another Sasuke or Itachi. Or Kakashi Hatake, broken by war and forced to witness such tragedies so young. I am not ignorant to the ways of the Shinobi world, but rather I am hopeful for its future. Because myself and Iruka and Kakashi and all of the other young Jonin you just spoke with are going to raise the next generation so they may never witness the things that we have.”

She added, her head held high as Lord Third gave her a nod, almost a hint of pride on his face. A little more shame in his eyes. 

“With that being said… I would also like to thank you, personally. You were the one who assigned me to train Itachi during the darkest period in my life. Doing that, despite how it ended… it restored my hope for a better future. I was ready to give up after the war and my mother’s passing and the Nine-tails attack… Lord Fourth…”

She swallowed hard, noticing her head had fallen a little. She took a deep breath and continued, straightening her back.

“But training Itachi and watching his brilliance and growth, as well as being accepted by the Uchiha clan… it made me hopeful for a future of peace and strength. Then, the massacre and Sasuke. I understand that I was selected to raise Sasuke due to Itachi’s request and threat, but I wanted to add that the time I have spent with Sasuke, and the time I have spent at the Academy, have helped restore some of my pride in the Hidden Leaf. Because I know he and his peers will be the generation to bring about change. I have spent a lot of personal time with the students at the Academy. Naruto Uzumaki’s unshakeable, tireless, optimism. Shikamaru Nara’s pristine mind. Choji Akimichi’s kind heart. Kiba Inuzuka’s sheer force of will… And Sasuke’s disciplined resolve to reach his goals. It has made me hopeful for a future where I can be unashamedly proud of the Hidden Leaf village, like I was in my youth. So, even though I will carry the resentment I feel against the council for their treatment of Itachi Uchiha for the remainder of my life… I would also like to thank you for changing my life, as selfish as that may sound. I will not squander the gift of hope I’ve been given and will do my best to instill it in Sasuke, so perhaps he will not find himself as lost as I once was.”

She finished, hands clasped together in front of her. Her jaw set and eyes full of determination. She was finally able to voice her opinion after 4 years. The feelings had all been so conflicting at first, but she’d had time to consider these words over and over again. It was ultimately selfish to be grateful for the situations that had led her to this mindset. But she figured, if she had benefited from tragedy, then she would turn that benefit around and give back to the people who had helped bring her to this point. Her friends, the children from the Academy, the people of the village. Sasuke. She would do everything she could to lift those people up and push them forward, even if it meant she got left behind.

Lord Third sat in silence for a moment more, hands also clasped together in thought. Just moments before, the silence had felt tense and thick with things unsaid. But, after getting everything off her chest, Atsuko welcome the quiet. She wanted his response, or at least acceptance of what she’d said. She realized this made her a hypocrite. Still craving approval from the man she blamed for so much hardship. He was still the Hokage, after all. The admiration of him and his position had been instilled in her since she was young, perhaps she’d never shake that. Lord Third finally turned her head up to look at her, meeting her eyes.

“Thank you, Atsuko. I understand the complexity of your feelings and accept your criticism of me and the council. I truly hope that what you say comes to pass and that the future generation of this village manages to find a path to peace when we could not. It seems to me that you understand where progress truly lies and that is within the teachings of our children. And our children’s teaching of theirs. And so on. If they can learn from our errors, then we have already placed them in a better position than we were in our youth.”

He replied, giving her a soft smile as he stroked his beard again. Atsuko gave an affirmative nod, rolling her shoulders back a little and bowing for a moment.

“Thank you again, Lord Third, sir. I am hopeful for the future of this village and hope you are able to see the changes as well. I will take my leave now.”

She responded, turning to exit the room through the big double doors, floorboards creaking under the weight of her steps, somehow lighter than when she’d entered the room. As the doors shut behind her, she sagged against them with a sigh, the release of tension making her muscles feel like jello, barely able to support her frame. With her head dropped back against the wood, she let her eyes flutter shut for a brief moment. It really did feel like she’d left of piece of her in that office. Some malignant tumor in her gut that she’d been carrying around for the past four years, growing and spreading rapidly, painful and heavy. Then she’d removed it herself, digging it out with her bare hands and dropping it on the Hokage’s desk.

She wondered if this moment was anywhere close to significant for someone of his stature. Doubtful. But all that mattered now was that she was free to move forward. Allow her wounds to heal and make good on her promise.

When she lifted her head again, Iruka was leaned against the wall opposite of her, eyebrow raised in question.

“What was that about?”

He asked, pushing himself away from the wall and approaching her cautiously. Atsuko gave him a lazy smile, doing the same as she stuffed her hands into her pockets.

“It’s just that… my ‘mission’ of raising Sasuke has officially ended…”

She responded, finding her feet moving easily down the hall, light and almost weightless. Iruka followed close behind, nodding as she continued.

“Not that it will ever really be over. At this point, he’s like my son. But still, feels like a chapter of my life if coming to a close, ya know?”

At these words, Iruka nodded again, walking side by side with her now.

“Of course… are you going to continue to assist at the Academy?”

He asked, and Atsuko winced a little at the question. She’d spent the last four years by his side, working essentially hand in hand and she hated to leave him with all of that work again. But… she had to continue her Shinobi work.

“No… I will be resuming my Shinobi work soon… but, I’ve asked Lord Third to consider me for assistance with the new Genin squads. So I’ll get to continue to help the kids.”

She advised, and surprisingly, Iruka nodded in understanding, letting out a soft sigh.

“I thought so. You were a natural in the classroom, but I know your talents are a little wasted there. Plus, I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to leave behind this class and just move on to teaching a new group. You’re pretty attached to them.”

He replied, and Atsuko gave a chuckle. Spot on. There was just something about that group that drew her in from the beginning. She’d come to care for all of them in a different way and she didn’t think she’d be able to provide that same care to a new group of students.

A lull of silence followed as they both accepted the inevitable parting of ways. Atsuko knew this would certainly not be the last time she would see Iruka. They would both assist in the upcoming Chunin exams and she was sure she’d be asked back to cover the Genjutsu section for the next group of students. But, again, it felt like his friendship had served its purpose on her journey and that chapter was closing as well. They would still remain friends of course, but she knew life was going to take them down different paths. The winds of change were especially strong today.

“Thank you, Iruka. For everything.”

Atsuko said after a few moments, voice soft and genuine. She turned to look at the man who walked beside her as he smiled.

“And thank you.”

Came his easy reply. Simple and smooth, just like their friendship. Atsuko turned back to face ahead, the smile a little contagious.

As they rounded the corner to the end of the hall, the doorway leading to the exterior stairs came into view. Leaned against the railing just outside, was her favorite masked Ninja, holding a book in one hand. The somber feeling that had started to roll in was gone in an instant. She had been considering and worrying over her past so much that she hadn’t taken the time to be hopeful for the future. A grin broke out across her face as she realized her future was right in front of her, reading some smutty novel in broad daylight.

“Hello, dear.”

Atsuko called, tone calm but no cooing sweetness in it. Kakashi rose his head and snapped the book shut, giving her a close eyed smile as he slipped the novel into one of the pockets on his vest.

“I’m sorry, ma’am. I believe you may have me confused for someone else. Can I help you?”

He asked, bending at the waist a little as she approached, laying on the patronizing tone nice and thick. Atsuko nodded in return, glancing past him and down the stairs like she was looking for something, hand even coming up to form a make shift visor over her brow.

“Actually, yes. I’m looking for my boyfriend. About 6 foot tall, silver hair, wearing a mask, complete and total unbearable asshole… have you seen him?”

She asked, tilting her head to the side for dramatic effect as she peered up at him quizzically. He returned her expression with one of concern, looking around as well as he shook his head.

“Hmmm. Can’t say I have. This is a funny coincidence because I’M here waiting for MY girlfriend. Short little thing, salt and pepper hair, talks too much, attitude from hell. Did you see her down the hall?”

He asked, giving her the same curious expression and Atsuko returned it with a look of absolute dismay, shaking her head.

“I didn’t! Seems like we’ve both been stood up… But ya know, you kind of look like my boyfriend… wanna play placeholder?”

She asked and Kakashi gave a shrug, reaching out to throw an arm over her shoulders as he began to guide her down the stairs.

“Ya know, that sounds like a great idea. You kinda look like my girlfriend too. But much prettier.”

He commented, causing Atsuko to finally break character and drop her head back with a laugh, arm coming up to smack his chest as he finally chuckled as well. Iruka groaned from where he was walking behind them.

“Do you guys have to do that EVERY time you see each other?”

He asked, exasperated as they descended the steps. Atsuko turned her head a little to look back at him, an eyebrow raised.

“Iruka, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never met this man before in my life?”

She responded, drawing another groan from the man as she turned back ahead and giggled.

———————————————————————————————————————

Kakashi and Atsuko went their separate ways from Iruka, heading back home to grab lunch before meeting Sasuke at the training grounds. They discussed some of the team placements. She filled him in the some of the kids personalities and the teams that stood out to her as well balanced. Since starting her job at the Academy, she’d grown to truly love every single one of those kids. The thought of not seeing them every day, smiling faces and scowls alike, made her ache slightly. Atsuko was in the kitchen, making a couple quick sandwiches and packing them into a cooler as Kakashi leaned against the counter next to her.

“So, you got Sasuke…”

She started, and Kakashi gave an affirmative hum, nodding. She wrapped a turkey sandwich in plastic wrap and placed it in the cooler, moving to make another.

“Yeah, a little shocking but… You know I won’t go easy on him, right?”  
  
He asked, arms folding across his chest as he looked down at her, immovable in that stance. Atsuko knew she coddled Sasuke a little too much. Or at least Kakashi thought she did. She stopped her work on the sandwich, turning to look at him, her brows furrowed.

“Of course I know that. I wouldn’t want you too. I trust your judgment completely and totally. If Sasuke fails, then he’s just not ready. However, he is MY student. So don’t expect him to go easy on you either.”

She responded, a little teasing lilt at the end as she smirked up at him. Kakashi raised his hands in mild surrender, letting out a breathy chuckle as Atsuko turned back to the sandwiches.

“Fair enough. But I don’t have high hopes…”

He started, causing Atsuko to throw him a murderous glare, ready to snap at him for doubting Sasuke’s abilities and, by extension, her abilities as a trainer. Kakashi rolled his eyes at her look, continuing before she could get started.

“Now, hold on. You’ve forgotten that I helped with his training as well. I don’t doubt Sasuke’s abilities. However, it’s more than that. He’s too much of the loner type. Thinks he can do it all on his own and likely won’t consider his teammates at all.

Atsuko hummed, holding back a snide comment about how that sounded awfully familiar.

“Be that as it may, he’s also goal oriented. He’s not going to let anything get in the way of what he wants to accomplish… even if I’m not thrilled by that idea, I respect his work ethic. He’s also pretty smart. He may manage to see through your test. Or, even more likely, he’ll probably disregard your rules all together and do what’s best for himself, which is keeping his team intact.”

She replied, wrapping up the last of the food as Kakashi watched her fingers move, deep in thought. She placed the last sandwich in the cooler and snapped it shut, turning to face him with a smile.

“You only see the side of him he wants you to see. He’s more thoughtful than you give him credit for and you’re more alike than you might care to admit.”

Atsuko finished, reaching up to pat his chest in a loving gesture. He raised his eyebrows at her comment about their similarities, but seemingly opted not to delve too far into it for now. He reached down, taking her hand from his chest and wrapping it in his own, bringing it up to place a masked kiss to the back of it. These tender gestures weren’t uncommon now, but they still managed to make her breath hitch in her throat.

They’d had some difficult times over the last 4 years. A few months into dating, the initial waves of infatuation had waned, and Kakashi had panicked a little. It wasn’t just good feelings and great sex anymore. As it grew deeper for both of them, he’d withdrew a little. Staying gone on incredibly lengthy missions, and avoiding her for days after his return, only to show up outside her bedroom window in the middle of the night, initiate some passionate love making session, then disappear again while she slept. After a few months of the repeated behavior, Atsuko had approached him at a bar one weekend night. She’d had way too much to drink and had been complaining to Yamato the whole evening, fury only building and building. Today seemed the be the day for reminiscing, so she thought back on that night as she quickly pecked Kakashi’s lips before turning to retreat to the bathroom to change.

_Kakashi had been coming and going, literally, for months now. She realized the change in behavior started when she’d slipped up one night. He was making her see stars, clutching at the skin of her hips and trailing hot, wet, kisses down her throat. The pleasure that washed over her was so intense, she’d begun to babble nonsense, and when her orgasm hit like a freight train, she may have moaned out ‘I love you’ in the throes of passion._

_Ever since that night, Kakashi completely avoided her. Until he decided he wasn’t. He would leave on missions without telling her, then be gone for weeks. She would go through all 5 stages of grief in those weeks. Eventually looping around to the ‘Acceptance’ stage right before he got back. She would work herself up, on the verge of calling Genma up or returning with her tail tucked to Yamato. Then, just as she was about to throw caution to the wind and decide to move on from Kakashi entirely, he would show up. Outside her bedroom window. Once he was waiting on her front porch when she returned from running to pick up something for dinner. Every time it ended the same. She gave him the cold shoulder, no words ever exchanged, but never denied him entry. Then his hands and mouth would be on her and she would give in immediately, melting into him and thinking maybe this time would be different._

_It never was. He would be gone in the morning, leaving her to repeat the process again over the coming weeks._

_Sitting at the bar with Yamato in their typical booth, Atsuko downed too many drinks and complained too loudly. This had been the fourth time in the last 6 months. Three weeks ago he’d done the same as always and appeared just before she could move on, fucked her brains out, and she hadn’t seen him since. This was what Yamato lovingly referred to as the anger phase. At this point, she was past being in denial, thinking he would come back and things would go back to the way they were. The anger phase always landed them in the bar, Atsuko drinking entirely too much and becoming so animated over the course of the night, she even had a hard time controlling her chakra. The deep purple, almost black, aura covered her hands more than once as the conversation got heated, only to fade when she brought her cup to her lips and downed yet another shot. Yamato was listening patiently, having more than grown accustomed to this and it was honestly something he had feared would happen when she started seeing Kakashi. The man was not known for being loving and emotionally available. So, of course, once things got a little too heavy, he disappeared, unable to figure out how to move forward._

_Atsuko was blabbering something along the lines of ‘Idiot. I’m such an idiot!’ the beginning of the inevitable depression stage visible in the distance. Just as she was about to resign herself to returning home and crying herself to sleep, she noticed Yamato’s eyes go wide, staring at the door behind her back. She whipped her head around quickly, regretting the motion when her vision blurred slightly, but still managing to focus on the man who had just entered the bar. Silver hair. Mask. Mother-fucker._

_Kakashi was here! She had just assumed he was on a mission. But here he was. Walking up to the bar and placing his order without a care in the world. Her mouth hung open in shock for a moment before her screaming nerves propelled her from her seat, anger hot and fiery in the pit of her stomach. Tonight was the night he paid for all the shit he’d put her through over the last 6 months. She was standing behind Kakashi before Yamato could even pull his large frame from the booth to stop her._

_“Hatake.”_

_She spit out the last name at the back of his head, anger reaching a boiling point as he took his time in turning around, not even sparing her a surprised glance. Once he was facing her, Kakashi looked down and gave her that closed eye smile._

_“Oh. Hello, Atsuko!”_

_He chirped, and not a second of silence passed before her hand was flying through the air, open palmed and aiming right for his smug fucking face with enough speed built up to make his head spin. His smile vanished and, in the blink of an eye, he’d caught her by the wrist with his own hand. The power of the smack evident by the loud POP of her skin coming in contact with his hand. Atsuko tried to jerk out of his grip, but he wouldn’t relent, squeezing tighter._

_She turned her eyes up to meet his visible one, the only emotion she could discern was… disinterest? Like he was bored? The fire in her own only grew at that realization. Still, as bored as he looked, he didn’t tear his eyes away from her and the grip on her wrist remained. The entire bar had fallen deadly silent, the tension in the air growing as their staring contest continued. Atsuko vaguely heard Yamato approaching from beside her, calling her name and likely hoping to wrangle her and take her home. She turned to look at him as he said her name one more time. Kakashi, thinking she was distracted and a little curious as to why she was here with Yamato, relaxed his grip ever so slightly._

_Atsuko immediately turned back to look at him with a wild grin, hand breaking free from his grasp quickly and aiming for his face again. This time, however, she was oozing that dark purple aura and when her palm came in contact with his forehead, his eyes wide in shock, he was immediately placed under her Genjutsu._

_The next thing Kakashi knew, he was standing in a babbling stream, the water lapping at his ankles through his pants. Looking around, it was a stream in a clearing of some forrest. He was surrounded by greenery and flowers, the smell of a spring breeze. It all felt so real, for just a moment, he forgot it was a Genjutsu. Finally, his eyes lands on the form of Atsuko, sitting next to the river bed with her knees pulled up under her chin, picking at the grass. She turned her head up when he recognized her, making eye contact and giving him a wry grin._

_Kakashi sighed and rolled his eyes, stepping out of the water and approaching her spot._

_“A Genjutsu, Atsuko? Really? This is a little childish.”_

_He commented, hands in his pockets and still feigning that tone of apathy as he exited the creek in favor of dry land. Atsuko dropped her head back with a sarcastic laugh, when she brought it back up to make eye contact with him, she spit back,_

_“What’s really childish is the way you’ve been avoiding me.”_

_The words biting and full of malice. Kakashi sighed, rolling his eyes and turning away from her to watch the water ripple over soft river stones._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just saw you the other night.”_

_He responded, and Atsuko raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the water as well._

_“The other night? It’s been three weeks, Kakashi.”_

_A silence fell between them, but the forrest they were in remained full of sounds. Bird chirping, the light breeze ruffling the leaves of the trees surrounding them, the splashing of water as the pressure in the stream increased with Atusko’s emotions. It was more difficult to control her chakra and the images she produced when she was drinking, and even more so when she was emotional. The trees begin to molt, leaves turning brown and falling to the ground in waves as the wind blew a little more harshly. Grey clouds rolled in and covered the sun that had been shining down on them. Slowly, the stream turned into a river, waves thrashing as the water level rose. The river widened, and Kakashi took a step back to avoid getting any water on him, while Atsuko remained seated, letting it soak her feet as she was now sitting in a couple inches of water._

_“You don’t have to avoid it. It’s not real.”_

_She reminded him quietly, hands stirring in the water at her sides absentmindedly. She could feel it and she knew he could too, but back in the bar they were both dry. Kakashi remained quiet, his presence weighing heavily on her back. Now or never._

_“Why have you been avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?”_

_She asked, frowning as she kept her eyes fixed on the water engulfing her shoes. The anger from before was still there, but mostly she was just hurt. She heard Kakashi let out a sigh next to her._

_“You didn’t do anything wrong.”_

_He replied, but didn’t give any more information than that. She finally turned her head to look up at where he stood, staring straight ahead._

_“Well, if you just don’t want to see me anymore, could you please let me know?”_

_She asked, mouth pulling down into a deep frown, eyebrows drawn together. Kakashi immediately whipped his head around to face her, visible eye wide as he shook his head._

_“No! I- it’s not that either.”_

_He managed, voice a little broken like she’d punched him in the stomach. He deflated a little, conceding and sitting in the water next to her, but still didn’t offer a better explanation. She huffed, turning her body to face the side of his head. This was getting ridiculous._

_“Then what the hell is it, Kakashi? Because you go missing for weeks at a time and just when I’m about to give up and move on… You show up and fuck me like… like you’ve missed me? Like you can’t get close enough. Then you’re gone again in the morning and I’m left wondering what the fuck I did wrong? I don’t know what changed… I thought everything was going really well and I just… I can’t keep doing this because I…”_

_She stopped herself before she could say something she’d regret. Her eyes welling with tears, she brought the heels of her hands up to rub them away in frustration. All of this was fucking stupid, she thought. She’d never felt like this before about someone but she knew exactly what it was. She loved him. Everything about him. The way he said ‘Good Morning’ on the rare occasions she had gotten to spend the night before this. The way he laughed and teased her, but really couldn’t handle it when she returned it. She liked when he read those filthy books out in public, and how he’d stuttered and blushed when she’d asked him to read her some of it one night. When he’d finally opened up a little and they’d had a couple serious talks, she enjoyed listening to him describe the way he viewed the world. How he considered things so deeply and felt so much but never showed it. She even liked when he was late to their dates, giving her that cute smile and apologizing but not really meaning it._

_All of it was so… him. Then he’d taken all of that away without so much as a word. The wind blew again and she was forced from her thoughts, realizing she’d been staring at the side of his head this entire time. He was so close and she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him. To run her fingers through his hair and watch him melt like he had in the kitchen on their first date. But he was still so far away. Now or never, the voice in her head reminded her. No time to be shy now. Spit it out and then she’d have her answer._

_She swallowed painfully against the lump that was forming in her throat._

_“Kakashi… I can’t keep doing this because I… I think I might be in love with you?”_

_Atsuko managed out, voice cracking a little as her throat burned from holding back tears. When the words came out, even as hurt as she was, they felt right. Her shoulders relaxed slightly like it had been a physical weight to carry that around with her. Kakashi however, went completely rigid, the line of his jaw behind his mask sharpening as he clenched. There were a few more beats of silence, Atsuko waiting on bated breath as the tears threatened to spill over. If he would just say something… anything…_

_“That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”_

_He responded, the words hanging heavy in the air as Atsuko struggled to register them. She told him she loved him and he said that’s why he was avoiding her… so he didn’t feel the same. Honestly, she figured this would have been like that first time he came to her window. He had been running because he was scared or something… but this was different. He really didn’t return her feelings. Her whole body felt numb. She thought she was prepared for the worst but hearing those words… god, it was like her heart stopped beating. Her jaw locked up to stop a gasp as the dam in her throat finally broke, tears rolling down her face as her expression remained unchanged, shocked and vulnerable._

_She stared at the side of his head, the strong line of his jaw and the muscles in his neck visible like the mask he wore was painted on. She was seated on his blind side, not even able to catch a glimpse of his visible eye to decipher his emotions. It felt like looking at a statue. Stone that was so realistic, she felt it might be soft to the touch. She realized maybe that’s all he ever was. An expressionless sculpture she’d projected her emotions onto. The wave of crushing nothingness hit her quickly at this thought, the tears stopping and leaving only drying streaks on her cheeks. She stood quickly, preparing to undo the Jutsu as her hands came up in front of her to form the proper sign._

_“That’s good to know… I’m sorry if I what I said made you uncomfortable, but I suppose I should have seen this coming. But, let me just say… if you truly don’t feel the same way, please stop contacting me. It only makes my pain worse. I’ll see you around, Kakashi.”_

_She choked out the words, voice a little shaky but finding her footing near the end. He didn’t move from his position or give any indication that he’d even been listening, so she shut her eyes to focus her chakra._

_“Rel-“_

_And before she could finish the word, she felt strong hands grab her wrists, yanking them away from one another to break her sign. Her eyes flew open and Kakashi was right in front of her, looking down into her eyes. A tense moment of silence passed before he released her wrists, dark visible eye still burning a hole through her. What an asshole. She started to speak again,_

_“Stop it. Don’t make this more difficult-”_

_Kakashi cut her off, voice strangled like he was barely able to get the words out._

_“I was avoiding you because… I think I might be in love with you too.”_

That had been the start of their relationship. They talked for hours in the Genjutsu as Kakashi explained his past and why his fear of loving her had led him to run again. Once she had heard his story, a lot of things made sense. Why he was always late. Why he was afraid to let people in. Him failing every squad of Genin he was assigned. Why he had trouble sleeping. From that point on, they were attached at the hip. He didn’t start staying over for a while, but every morning he was outside with coffee and breakfast, walking her and Sasuke to class. Visiting her on lunch as she slowly introduced him to some of the students that followed her around all day, her little band of groupies. He spent most weekends with them, helping train Sasuke or enjoying the rare lazy Sunday. After a couple years of this, it just became too inconvenient to not have him living with them. So he moved in, only after Atsuko had gotten Sasuke’s blessing. Things had been going smoothly ever since, and she had quickly found herself in a state of domestic bliss.

She exited the bathroom after changing into something a little more comfortable as the rest of their afternoon would be spent at the training grounds with Sasuke. A pair of black leggings and one of Kakashi’s loose fitting t-shirts, her wild hair tied up haphazardly. Kakashi was waiting patiently, seated at the kitchen table. He smiled when she came out, grabbing the cooler from the table as he stood.

“Have I ever told you how good you look in my clothes?”

He asked, his free hand coming up to grip her waist as she grew closer. Atsuko giggled, allowing him to pull her into his chest, craning her head up to look into his dark eye.

“Considering I only met you this morning, no I don’t think you’ve had the opportunity. But my boyfriend used to say that kind of thing to me all the time.”

Atsuko replied, a smirk pulling at her lips. Kakashi chuckled in turn as her hand wiggled up in between them to pull at the bottom of his mask until his lips were visible. She went on her tip toes, giving him a sweet kiss before pulling away and readjusting the mask. He was still smiling down at her lazily as she fussed with the edges, making sure it was back in place.

“Well, you’re awfully bold for a woman I only met an hour ago.”

Atsuko pulled away from him, dropping her head back with a laugh as she headed for the front door.

“Now, that one I’ve definitely heard before.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed this chapter! We've officially jumped forward to canon Naruto! I wanted to get in the interactions with Sasuke as well in this chapter but I felt like it was getting a little too long. So look forward to that in the next chapter!


	13. Words of Warning and Images of a Not So Distant Future

Atsuko and Kakashi walked down a dirt path in the woods, debating about whether or not the main characters in the book he was currently reading were a good romantic pairing and would end up together by the end of the novel. She was staring at the ground, focusing on not stepping in a few muddy puddles and making almost a game out of avoiding any stones or twigs as well. Kakashi walked a few steps behind, one hand in his pocket and the other holding the cooler, watching as she side stepped and tight rope walked her way down the path, arms occasionally flying out to balance herself. 

“That’s ridiculous, ‘Kashi. The main character has completely disregarded their relationship. He even tried to kill the girl once, you said! Why in the world would they end up together?”

Atsuko stated, waltzing over a stick on her tip toes. Honestly, this little game was just a way to keep her body occupied while they had this discussion. She had tried her best to pick up some healthier habits when she was thinking after Kakashi had scolded her for picking her fingernails bloody during a deep conversation one night. It was a nervous tick she’d picked up as a child, finding that the repetitive action helped her focus her racing thoughts. She was taking this silly conversation rather seriously, not wanting to lose the debate. So instead of picking at her fingernails to focus, she was trying to avoid any obstacle in her path, big or small. She’d also taken up embroidery for this specific purpose. Since Kakashi had moved in, they often had silly debates or introspective conversations late at night, so she stitched little patterns onto several articles of all of their clothing while they talked. 

Poor Sasuke had a pair of pants with a tiny red heart stitched into the waistband. Kakashi’s vest had been on the receiving end of her needle and thread attack one night as well, a small yellow flower stitched onto one of the flaps of his pockets. He hadn’t complained as much as Sasuke, and neither of them had asked her to remove the stitching. But from then out, she focused mostly on her own clothing. She had a pair of pants that were covered in little details and symbols that she only ever wore around the house. A hidden leaf symbol threaded onto one of the back pockets. The Uchiha crest sewn into the cuff of one pant leg. Flowers and overlapping vines that flowed down an entire leg. That one had taken her a couple weeks to finish. 

“Okay, sure, he tried to kill her. But they’ve made up and he was dealing with a lot. I’m telling you, they were made for each other. It’s like they’re two halves of a whole, light and dark.”

Kakashi replied, voice even like it always was in these conversations. Sometimes she thought he played devil’s advocate just to get her worked up. Even though that was a very real possibility in her mind, it still worked every time. She rolled her eyes, stepping over another pebble and stopping her tracks to looks back at him, hands on her hips. 

“You’re being insane. I don’t care how perfect two people might be for each other, attempted murder is a deal breaker.”

She replied, shaking her head as he shrugged his shoulders. 

“Well, if you tried to kill me and felt horribly about it, I would probably forgive you.”

He replied and she chuckled, dropping her head forward in defeat. He was good at that too. Tugging her heartstrings in just the right way to break the tension and get her to concede.

“Fine. I would forgive you too. But still doesn’t make it right.”

Kakashi shook his head, 

“I’m not arguing that it’s right. I’m arguing that despite that incident-“

She interrupted, 

“The attempted murder incident, yes, continue.”

He rolled his visible eye at her before resuming,

“Yes, despite the attempted murder incident, they have managed to reconcile and are currently fighting side by side. You would have to read the book to understand the chemistry. She’s loved him since they were children, and he’s a little rough around the edges, but he always loved her back.”

Atsuko sighed, shaking her head again as she turned around to continue their walk. 

“I still don’t buy it. From what you’ve told me, it sounds like the main character is incapable of love, or at the very least believes he is. And the girl is obsessed with fixing him. It’s a horrid dynamic. But maybe you can read me a couple stand out passages later and help me see what you see.”

She suggested, stepping over another small puddle. This was a common occurrence now. When they first started seeing one another those comfortable silences were typical. Now? They talked non-stop about everything and anything. Debating. Joking. Telling little stories from their past. Discussing Kakashi’s daily existential crisis. It was all on the table and it was like neither of them could get enough of listening to the other prattle on about any topic. Kakashi read a lot of fiction novels. Specifically romance novels. So a lot of the discussions he started pertained to the characters in his books and the interesting dynamics, while Atsuko psycho-analyzed their actions, picking apart their motivations and personal defects. He complained sometimes that she ruined the characters for him, that her picking them apart like that ruined the mystery or illusion. It helped her realize that, deep, deep, down, Kakashi was a bit of a hopeless romantic, wanting to believe in divine intervention and true love. 

As they came to the end of the path, Kakashi still babbling on about a specific scene in the book, Atsuko noticed Sasuke with his back to them in the middle of their typical clearing. She motioned for Kakashi to be quiet and pointed ahead to where the boy stood, shoulders relaxed and a calm focus visible just from the way he held himself. She and Kakashi both crouched where they were at the end of the path, watching silently. 

Sasuke was taller now and his shoulders were a bit wider, but he was still thin and angular, like his older brother. Atsuko had noticed a while back that his face was following the same pattern. Not as round and soft as his cheekbones grew more defined and his eyes lost some of their childlike openness. He was maturing into a gorgeous, talented, young man and the thought of how far he’d come still made her heart swell. A light breeze fluttered the leaves of the trees surrounding them, sunlight peaking through the lush greenery in streaks of warm light. In the middle of the clearing was a large rock. She knew there was a target behind it, just like the ones pinned to various trees around them. After the breeze passed and things settled down there was the sound of a slow intake of breath from Sasuke, then he was gone. She turned her head up to see him midair, flipping and releasing two handfuls of kunai in a single, fluid, motion. He landed back on his feet in a crouch listening intently as each knife hit their intended targets. The ones pinned to the tree were easy, sinking into the dead center quickly. Even the one behind him, Atsuko heard a kunai whiz and hit the target on a tree a few feet above her head. 

Then there was a soft *ping* of steel on steel and Atsuko knew that he’d used one of the kunai to change the trajectory of another, knocking it into the path of the target hidden behind the large boulder. Half a second of silence, then she heard that one make contact as well. She couldn’t see it, but she was sure it was a bullseye like all the rest. A proud grin broke across her face and she turned to look at Kakashi, a ghost of a smile behind his mask as well. They both rose from their crouched positions and moved forward. 

“Nice job, badass. You’ve really got that move down.”

She called from across the clearing, Sasuke whipping around to smirk at her as she approached. 

“I’ve had it down for a while, now.”

He commented, and Atsuko shrugged, plucking one of the kunai from the tree above her as they walked forward, tossing it into Sasuke’s waiting hand. 

“Be that as it may, it’s still impressive. Now, break time. We brought lunch.”

She advised, nodding to the cooler that Kakashi was now holding up. Sasuke nodded wordlessly as he and Atsuko both went to collect the kunai from their targets. Collecting the one from behind the rock she found she was right. Bullseye. A proud smirk made its home on her face and after a few moments she returned a few of the kunai to Sasuke, who slid them into the bag on his hip. 

They all sat down, backs pressed against the large rock. Atsuko in the middle with Kakashi to her right and Sasuke to her left. As she was passing out sandwiches, Sasuke piped up, 

“So what was that Shinobi meeting about this morning?”

He asked, unfolding the wrapping and taking a bite gratefully. 

“It was to delegate the three man squads for the Genin and assign them Jonin instructors.”

She told him easily, feeling the boy roll his eyes as he swallowed the first bite. 

“I still think that the squad thing is stupid. I don’t need some losers holding me back…”

He grumbled. Atsuko couldn’t help herself from glancing over at Kakashi, who was staring holes into the side of her head, wearing a smug ‘told ya so’ expression. She let out a scoff, hand coming up to smack Sasuke’s arm slightly. 

“Hey, this is the way things have been for generations. There’s a very obvious reason they want you all on squads. And I know we’ve talked about you calling your peers losers. Some of em could give you a run for your money if they wanted to.”

She scolded, tearing off a piece of her sandwich and popping it into her mouth. Sasuke let out a scoff as well, shaking his head. 

“Whatever.”

He replied, distaste dripping from his mouth like poison. Atsuko decided she wanted to look at him, so she moved to sit across from the two men, legs crossed as she got comfortable on the ground again. She rose an accusatory finger at the boy. 

“Being an asshole will get you no-where, ya know. You’re on your way to being a very talented Shinobi, but that cocky attitude of yours is just going to drag you down. There are people who have other talents that you don’t possess, believe it or not. That’s one reason they put you on these teams. To balance out abilities.” 

Atsuko informed him, scolding but still not able to find it in her heart to be truly angry at the boy. She wanted to let him know why he was wrong instead of just telling him that he was with no other explanation. Another tip she picked up when teaching. The children seemed to understand lessons better when she explained why things had to be done a certain way, instead of just giving them cookie cutter steps to follow. Sasuke continued to eat his sandwich, eyebrows furrowed and a deep frown on his face. 

“If you keep frowning like that you’ll get wrinkles. There’s another important reason they place you all on these squads. It’s to help teach teamwork. When you start your regular Shinobi work, you will be working with all kinds of different ninja when handling certain missions. If you understand how to interact with different kinds of people, and how to work well with others, those missions will be more successful. A lack of communication and teamwork could cost you or others your lives.”

She added, a little more seriously now. A silence fell over all of them as Kakashi audibly stopped chewing and Sasuke held the sandwich in his hands, unmoving when he had been previously going for another bite. Kakashi knew that all too well, as did she, and she could tell Sasuke had heard her change in tone. She needed him to understand the truth behind those words. How real it all was. A breeze blew through, rustling the leaves, and she decided to continue. 

“When I was young… a couple years older than you are now, I was promoted to Jonin. I had spent most of my childhood fighting in the Third Shinobi War. I witnessed some horrible things… and watched my comrades and friends die, all before the age of 12. Then, when I finally returned home and the war ended, my mother died…”

Sasuke turned his head up to look at her, eyebrows still furrowed but no longer in anger. A different emotion pulled at his sharp features now. Concern, maybe? Discomfort? Atsuko sighed, turning her eyes away from his to look at the rock behind him, just over his head. She pursed her lips but continued anyway. 

“I had a hard time coping with all of that loss… and the memories from the war. Despite being so young, I started to drink to drown all of that out. Only a little at first. But by the time I was made Jonin at 15, it was every day, all day. I hid it well for a while, but on top of the alcohol was the fact that I never dealt with any of that trauma… I was leading a mission with 3 other Shinobi. They were all Chunin. It was supposed to be a simple mission. We were following a lead on a group of bandits roaming the Land of Fire, terrorizing small villages and business owners. When we finally caught up with them, they were in the middle of burning down a roadside curry shop. The shop owner was a young woman, not much older than I am now. The leader had her tied up, thrown over his shoulder…”

She choked up a little, small tears formed in her eyes at the memory. Like she could still feel the smoke stinging them. She dropped her head back, blinking up at the sky to prevent them from flowing. 

“Atsuko-sensei…”

Came Sasuke’s voice, soft and full of warning. He didn’t want her to continue. Kakashi piped up next, tone deep and serious. 

“No, Sasuke. Let her finish. You should hear this.”

Atsuko closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before turning back forward, finding her resolve in Kakashi’s words. Sasuke absolutely needed to hear this. She made eye contact with the young boy again, that same concerned expression still etched onto his face, but he’d hardened it a little. Even so young, it was like he understood. Of course he did… the feeling of helplessness and regret. 

“The leader had the shopkeeper tied up. By this point in the day I had polished off the flask I kept with me. Now, mind you, I held my liquor decently well after years of tolerance build up. But I still wasn’t my best in a fight when I had that much in my system. My squad moved on the group. There were 5 of them, and 4 of us. When the fight started… the leader came at me first. I was too focused on my fight with him and not paying attention to my teammates or the young woman. My movements were too slow, sluggish from the alcohol and the enemy was stronger than we realized. The leader got the upper hand quickly and knocked me to the ground. The memories are still a little blurry but I remember him standing over me and bringing his boot down on my leg. He shattered my kneecap and fractured my leg. I eventually passed out from the pain, but not before they beat one of my men in front of me within an inch of his life. And killed the shopkeeper. Slit her throat while the leader held my eyes open…”

Her throat had gone dry, eyes glassed over as she barely choked out the events, skipping over details that, to this day, were still hard to recover. Her eyes unfocused and she was staring above Sasuke again, clearly lost in reliving the events. The screams, the smoke, the pain… the blood… She felt warmth on her knee and was immediately brought her back to the present, looking down at the hand placed there and seeing it was attached to Kakashi. She made eye contact with him for a brief moment, his visible eye holding a wealth of encouragement and understanding. It was still amazing to her how he managed to ground her with nothing more than a look or a simple touch. She swallowed against the dryness in her throat and gave a curt nod, turning back to Sasuke to finish. The boy wore an almost angry expression now, though she couldn’t discern if it was aimed at her or the men who’d hurt her. 

“The group of thugs ran off. The other two men on our squad weren’t much better off, but they managed to carry me and their other squad mate back to the village. If we’d gotten there even thirty minutes later, I would have lost my leg and… the other Chunin would’ve died…”

She finished her story, struggling a little but managing to find her voice for the conclusion. She let the final words hang in the air for a moment. Despite the horrid events, things still could have gone much worse. The young man she hadn’t even bothered to learn the name of, he could have died. The others could have as well. There were times after the incident where she wished she had. That innocent shopkeeper, murdered to send a twisted message to the Hidden Leaf Shinobi. A young woman with a bright future reduced to nothing more than a taunt. A pawn in a game of blood soaked chess. She swallowed the bile rising in her throat, reminded that those men had eventually been captured without another fatality. Imprisoned for the rest of their lives. A small sliver of justice that she had no choice but to take solace in. A small part of her didn’t think imprisonment was enough. That they deserved the same thing they had done to that young woman. However, she didn’t allow herself to entertain those thoughts anymore. It felt like Sasuke was waiting for her to speak again, staring expectantly, a little of that ire still visible in his wide eyes. 

“I’m not sure if that anger is directed at me or the men who killed that woman… but I can let you know that group was eventually captured, and I was placed on leave for quite sometime after the incident. Then…”

Then she’d met Itachi and her entire life changed. Her current outlook on the world and even the way she processed emotions, she owed it all to that boy. She knew that Sasuke didn’t want to hear that. He still hated his older brother and wished to enact his own brand of justice. Another sigh escaped her lips and she swallowed the words that threatened to pour over. 

“What happened to me afterwards is not important. What matters is what brought me to that point. Even if I hadn’t been drinking, I was so wrapped up in my own emotions that I still would have been a liability to my team. I wasn’t paying attention to them or working with them to overcome the obstacle. I was too worried about myself and winning my battle to realize that if we had formed some kind of strategy or stuck together, then we would have had the upper hand. When you are working on a squad, communication and teamwork are incredibly important. While our issues may be a little different… I was emotionally compromised, and you think you can handle everything on your own, the outcomes can be the same. And they will be. Unless you learn to stow that ego and accept help.”

Atsuko finished, leaning back on her hands to release the tension growing in her back. She didn’t feel like going too deep into why he was the way he was. That his stand offish attitude was a direct result of the trauma he’d experienced. Keep people at arms length so they can’t hurt you. Do everything by yourself so no one else has a chance to screw anything up. There was a bit of martyrdom that lived inside him as well. She could see him sacrificing himself easily, because despite that prickly outer shell, he cared deeply. He wanted the opportunity to do what he couldn’t when his parents were killed. There was so much to unpack, and so little time. So few words. It was easy to pick apart the characters in Kakashi’s books… but when it was someone she loved and cared for deeply, it felt invasive.

Sasuke had turned his face down to look at his lap for a few moments, brow furrowed in concentration this time. He was considering what she’d told him. Atsuko waited patiently, glancing up at Kakashi who gave her an encouraging nod in return. They’d been through similar situations. She’d lost friends in the war as well. But when he’d told her about Obito and Rin… it made her story feel insignificant. They’d both been ravaged by war and loss but had gone two totally different paths. She would never forget those horrors, and her errors on that mission, but she’d healed for the most part. Kakashi was just now beginning that process. So when he gave her that encouraging nod it made her a little sick. She was supposed to be the one helping him, not the other way around. 

The weight she carried on her shoulders was self imposed, certainly. The weight of Sasuke’s pain as well as Kakashi’s. It was easier to forget it was there in their day to day life, but in moments like this one it was almost crushing. She wanted to help them both to the best of her ability, but had no idea where to start. Even after 4 years, she still didn’t know if anything she’d ever said to Sasuke had really sunk in. Or if Kakashi really knew that she would be there for him, no matter the circumstances. If either of them knew just how much she loved them. If they knew that she would-

“I understand… I-I’ll try.”

Sasuke interrupted her thoughts quietly, slowly turning his head up to meet her gaze with a look of determination. Atsuko sat for a moment, a little stunned. It was so close to an apology, or an admission of wrong doing, that it threw her for a loop. Even a year ago, Sasuke wouldn’t have responded like that. She was resigned to the fact that he would consider it quietly and she would never know what he really thought. As the words registered, a smile tugged at the corners of her lips. Maybe, some of her teachings and warnings had resonated. Her shoulders didn’t feel as heavy anymore. 

“Thank you, badass. That’s all I’m asking.”

She replied, sitting up and leaning over this time to press a kiss to his cheek. When she pulled back, a dark blush had spread across his face and he was looking at her like a deer caught in a floodlight. She chuckled, the knots in her stomach slowly undoing themselves as she took in his shocked expression. Even if he tried to act like Mr Maturity, he was still a child, and those little embarrassed expressions reminded her of that from time to time. When Kakashi took in the sight, he chuckled as well, relaxing back against the boulder. 

They all went back to their meals in comfortable silence. Eventually, Atsuko had moved back to her spot between the two, leaning against the rock as the small chit-chat picked up to soothe over the intense conversation from before. 

“So, who did I get?”

Sasuke asked as he took the last bite of his sandwich, looking over at Atsuko with a judging expression, but still unable to hide the curiosity in his eyes. She shrugged in response, wrapping up her trash and tossing it into the open cooler, retrieving a bottle of water for herself and the other two. 

“Don’t know. Guess you’ll have to find out tomorrow, like all the other students.”

She responded, smirking as she took a sip from the water bottle. Sasuke huffed, shutting his eyes in mild defiance as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Whatever. As long as it’s not Naruto… Or Kakashi.”

He quipped, small smirk forming on his lips as well as he took a drink. From the other side of her, Kakashi let out a scoff, having somehow managed to eat his entire sandwich and drain his bottle of water without removing his mask. 

“Well, I wouldn’t be too thrilled about having you either, Moody.”

Came his cool reply as he stood in one fluid motion, stretching slightly as Atsuko chuckled, finishing her bottle of water quickly as well. She knew they would work well together. Whether or not Kakashi saw it, they were similar. She saw it in the way they trained together sometimes. It was like Kakashi was speaking to a younger version of himself. Full of anger and sorrow and grief. It was a special bond that neither knew how to express or define, but it was as clear to her as the sky on a cloudless day. 

“I’ll be back. Restroom.”

Kakashi advised, hands in pockets as he headed back for the trail they’d come down previously. Atsuko watched his image recede with a smile, a little mesmerized by the way the steaks of sunlight washed through his silver hair, shining brightly. From beside her, Sasuke cleared his throat. Pulled from her thoughts, she turned to find him staring up at her, smirk still placed on his lips. 

“What?”

She asked, returning the smirk. She knew he was getting ready to make some smart ass comment, but she welcomed it. Sasuke huffed, 

“You look at him like he’s the only guy on the planet. It’s gross.”

He said, rolling his eyes a little and looking back forward to stare at the path as well. Atsuko dropped her head back with a chuckle, slinging her arm around the boys shoulders and pulling him close. 

“Sounds like someone's jealous. Well, I promise he’s not the only guy in the world. I’ve got you, yeah?”

She teased, hand pinching at his cheek while he violently swatted her away, she withdrew her arm and let out a deep laugh, bubbling up from deep in her throat. Sasuke puffed out his chest and turned his head away from her in defiance. 

“Whatever. Have you ever even seen the guys face? He’s always wearing that mask.”

Atsuko chuckled and nodded, rolling her eyes in return. They’d discussed this before. At this point, Kakashi made it a point to never let Sasuke see him without his mask, or at the very least without having his face covered. Atsuko didn’t think he really cared one way or the other in the beginning, but then Sasuke had made the mistake of letting his curiosity known. Now, Kakashi kept his face covered just to piss the kid off. 

“We’ve talked about this before. No, we’ve been dating for four years and I’ve never seen his face… Use your brain, Sasuke.”

She replied sarcastically, hand that was previously torturing his cheek coming up to gently shove his shoulder. Sasuke rolled his eyes again, the expression so habitual that Atsuko swore she could hear the wet click of his eyeballs at this point. A silence fell between them for a while. Just the sound of the breeze and occasional rustling of leaves filled the air. The noises were soothing and the warmth from the sun made Atsuko a little drowsy. The conversation from earlier had been a little more emotionally taxing than she’d planned for… and with the food currently sitting in her stomach, she almost felt cozy. It wasn’t long before her eyelids felt heavy and she was actively fighting the urge to curl up in the grass for a light cat nap. After a while of this, she noticed Sasuke was leaning against her a little more. Then, when she focused, she could tell his breathing had evened out. Straining her eyeballs a little let her see that Sasuke had fallen asleep already, resting against her side. 

She let out a quiet huff. Here she was fighting the urge to nap at the training grounds, and Mr Maturity had succumbed so easily it was laughable. Maybe just a little nap wouldn’t hurt. He’d been training since sunrise and she’d had an emotionally taxing day as well. Atsuko relaxed fully against the rock, leaning her head to the side to rest on top of Sasuke’s head where it was pressed against her shoulder. The feeling of his silky black hair pressed against her cheek and the motion of his slow breathing lulled her to sleep quickly, so full of warmth she couldn’t hold her eyes open for another second. 

———————————————————————————

When Atsuko’s eyes fluttered back open, she found the earth had shifted to its side… Or she was laying on hers. She blinked a couple times to reorient and found that her head was no longer resting against the hard boulder, but instead was nestled against something warm. Something was also moving through her hair… she felt a light scratch against her scalp. Fingers. When her eyes finally focused she made out some lines and a dark shade of black… She was laying in someones lap while they played with her hair. She went to roll over onto her back so she could look up at the human pillow and scalp massager, but she was stopped by a sudden pressure on her torso. Her eyes darted down to find Sasuke, still blissfully asleep with his head leaned back against her waist, arms folded over his chest. She smiled a little, her own hand coming up to run through his hair. The human pillow spoke up from above and behind her. 

“Hey. Welcome back.”

She recognized the voice immediately, soft and strong, teasing ever so slightly. The fingers were back in her hair, gently combing it through and then, returning to the base of her skull, massaging her neck lightly. She hummed in appreciation. 

“Hey… how did we end up like this?”

She asked, voice a little hoarse having just woken up. She vaguely recalled her and Sasuke leaning against one another before falling asleep before, but not like this. 

“Hmm… When I came back you were both leaned against each other, but it didn’t look very comfortable. So, I moved you."

He replied, his soft almost whisper making her insides flutter a little. 

“You mean you wanted my head in your lap and Sasuke was an after thought.”

She teased, causing her pillow to shake a little with the force of Kakashi’s laugh. He hummed thoughtfully, the fingers tangling in her hair, splaying over the back of her head. 

“You caught me…”

He admitted, falling back into a peaceful silence as Atsuko just enjoyed this tender moment for the time being. Her hand ran through Sasuke’s hair once more before she let it rest against her hip again, looking between the peacefully sleeping boy and the grass just beyond Kakashi’s feet. The sun was still relatively high in the sky, so she assumed they hadn’t been asleep long… Breaking through her post nap fog, Kakashi’s voice came again. 

“You ever… think about having kids?”

He asked, a little hesitant but mostly sounding whimsical… Like he didn’t even realize he was saying it out loud. She surprised herself when the question didn’t make her tense up or worry. Even more surprising was Kakashi breaching the topic. She’d never fully considered it, because Sasuke was her child. But the idea of having one of her own… it never crossed her mind, but she didn’t mind the prospect. 

“Just in general? Or with you, specifically?”

She asked, knowing the question was a little teasing and would probably cause him to stutter a little. As if on cue, she felt his thighs flex involuntarily and the fingers in her hair stilled for a brief moment. She couldn’t see him, but she imagined he was blushing furiously, visible eye wide. A giggle rose from her chest, the force of it jostling Sasuke’s head against her abdomen and reminding her that he was there. 

“I… well. In general, I suppose. Not that I’m opposed to…”

Kakashi tried to stutter out a reply, not really whispering anymore as the nervousness ran through him. Atsuko grinned, pressing a chaste kiss to his clothed thigh. 

“Hmmm, relax. I’ve never really thought about it. I guess I just always thought it would happen at the right time… hopefully with the right person. Are you saying you want to have children with me?”

She replied, singling out the last of his response. Again, the fingers in her hair twitched, catching a few strands under his nails. She could hear his pulse with her ear pressed against his leg, heart pounding hard and fast. It was sweet that she was still able to make him this nervous. Though, to be fair, it wasn’t exactly a light hearted conversation. They’d just moved in together… but she had been waiting for the next step for quite some time. In her eyes, there would never be anyone else but Kakashi. Every second she spent with him reaffirmed that. It all came so easily. The love, their banter, the conversations, the tender gestures, even just coexisting was like this wonderful, flawlessly calculated, trapeze act. Balanced perfectly and moving so fluidly sometimes she wondered if her life had been made for him to occupy. 

The domestic bliss she’d found with him almost felt like every move they made was predestined by the universe. Pathways and movements crafted with such care that their specified pathways slotted against one another like intricate puzzle pieces. Moving in perfect circles every morning. Waltzing around one another in the hall as they passed each other by, a lingering touch or gentle peck on her cheek the only evidence of the near collision. Him leaned against the counter, reading his book as she moved to put her shoes on, his foot coming up absentmindedly to pull a kitchen chair out for her to sit on. Her ducked down, digging through fridge for their lunchboxes, standing fluidly and turning to where she knew he was hovering right over her shoulder, slipping the bag into his waiting hand and spinning around him to the tuck the other into Sasuke’s book bag. Neither of them even looking up at what they were doing. Like a beautifully choreographed waltz, and their ballroom was her kitchen, not a step out of place or a gesture missed. 

Even when things didn’t go as planned, they maintained that flow. Atsuko’s mind wandered and, bathed in the warm light of the slowly setting sun, her imagination ran wild. She could see their wedding, planned to accommodate every circumstance, yet still falling apart at the last minute in true rom-com fashion. Atsuko’s bridesmaid spilling a glass of wine down the front of her pristine gown, everyone waiting for a meltdown from her that would never come. Kakashi picking up his suit from the cleaners, only to realize the blazer had shrunk past the point of wearing. Sasuke, dressed up in his best little suit to make his debut as ring bearer, managing to lose the rings. But none of it would matter. They would stand at the alter, her wine stained and him in nothing but a white t-shirt and his suit pants, ringless, still totally in love and neither the least bit bothered by the events of the day. 

She had to assume that having a child with him would be much of the same. Perfect. Blissful. Even in the stressful moments. Even during the times they weren’t on the same page. The image of him, mask down and hovering over a wooden crib, cradling a small faceless bundle in the early hours of the morning. She could hear hear him humming some lullaby like she’d heard him do in the shower before. Bathed in sunshine and shoulders slacked as he gently swayed. She could feel herself approaching him from behind and wrapping her arms around him, hands coming to rest on top of his cradled arms, pressing a kiss to the space between his shoulder blades… She’d never considered this before but the image… it flooded her with warmth.

As if he was able to read her thoughts, she felt Kakashi relax, the tense muscle of his thigh softening under the weight of her head. His fingers resuming their spot against her scalp, scratching gently, he hummed low in his throat, finally preparing his response. 

“I certainly wouldn’t mind it… in the future.”

He replied, voice not as high and nervous anymore, just low and sure. She wondered if he’d conjured a similar image in his mind. She remembered him telling her about Minato and Kushina… how being assigned to watch over Kushina when she was pregnant filled him with this harmony and sense of purpose. Perhaps he was remembering that time in his life. 

“And… I don’t think I’d rather have children with anyone other than you, Kakashi. In the future.”

She responded, the hand previously in Sasuke’s hair, coming to rub his thigh gently in a grounding gesture. A warm smile overtook her features and she heard another hum come from the man above her. 

“What made you ask that question, anyway?”Atsuko questioned, hand continuing its soft ministrations on the tight muscles of his outstretched calf. Kakashi let out a gentle sigh, shifting just a little. 

“When I came back and found you two like that… sleeping against each other… it was a nice image.”  
He advised, the soft smile evident in just his voice. Atsuko hummed in response this time, glancing down at where Sasuke slept again. Her heat skipped a beat at the image of the beautiful boy, sleeping peacefully against her in a rare moment of unfiltered vulnerability. 

“You’ll have to make an honest woman out of me first, though.”

She reminded and again she felt him vibrate a little with the chuckle the comment drew.

“Noted…”

He replied smoothly, grabbing the hand that rested on his calf and pulling it up to place a masked kiss to the back of it. She turned her palm to cup the side of his face a little awkwardly before dropping it back down to rest on top of Sasuke’s head. The way he said that made her think that the day when he would propose might come sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one's a little shorter! I've always had an idea of how i wanted this to go but now im hitting a bit of a block in how we're going to get to those important points... Should be some solid plot development in the next chapter though!


	14. Departures and Returns

Atsuko was fast on the heels of Sasuke and Kakashi, fussing loudly over the two of them as they headed to meet Naruto and Sakura. They were strolling at the same leisurely pace, mimicking each others stance with their hands in their pockets and seemingly ignoring her completely as they moved onward. She was speaking quickly, hands moving with her words in an overly animated fashion.

“Okay, make sure you both watch out for each other… and Naruto and Sakura as well. That you’re both eating enough and not pushing yourselves too hard-“

Kakashi stopped dead in his tracks, causing her to crash into his back and cutting her words short as she gasped. When she pulled back, she noticed they had already arrived at the front entrance of the village, where they would soon be making their departure. She turned her eyes back to the man in front of her, he was looking down, arms crossed over his chest with an eyebrow raised. Sasuke had stopped as well, fixing her with the same annoyed, judging, stare. 

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

She asked incredulously, hands flying to her hips. Kakashi let out a sigh and fixed her with one of those closed eyed smiles. 

“Dear, you’ve been breathing down our necks since we told you about this mission. It’s a little overbearing.” 

He replied, tone sweet but condescending. Atsuko huffed in response, arms crossing under her heavy chest, pouting ever so slightly. She looked down at Sasuke, an eyebrow raised. 

“You feel this way as well?”

She asked, and Sasuke sighed in response, looking down at his feet and nodding. 

“Yeah.” 

He replied, causing Atsuko to huff again and turn back up to face Kakashi, his face no longer taunting, but giving her a gentle smile instead. 

“We know you’re worried. But this is a simple escort mission, we shouldn’t be gone for more than a week. Everything will be fine.”

He let her know, reaching out and taking her hand in his, giving a reassuring squeeze. Atsuko sighed, dropping her head forward as embarrassment washed over her. He was right. They were just escorting a bridge builder back to the Land of Waves. It was a a C-Rank mission… She was even getting ready to depart on her own A-Ranked mission not long after they were due to leave and Kakashi wasn’t treating her like this. Fretting over her every move and worrying incessantly. Still, the two most important people in her life were getting ready to leave the village. Sasuke on his first big mission ever. She just wanted to make sure they were safe and would come back to her soon. 

“I’m sorry… I just want to make sure you’ll both be safe.”

She responded, feeling Kakashi’s hand come up to lift her chin between his thumb and forefinger. He gave her another close eyed smile. 

“We will be. You know that I wouldn’t let anything happen to Sasuke or the others.” 

She gave a soft smile, leaning up to give him a quick kiss on his masked lips, her hands coming up to cradle his jaw. When she pulled back, a loving look in her eyes. 

“I know you won’t… but make sure nothing happens to you, either.”

She replied and he leaned in to peck her lips again, pulling back with a soft ‘of course’. She turned her attention to Sasuke next, who was pointedly turned away from the display, hands in his pockets with the default setting scowl on his face. 

“And you. Listen to Kakashi. Act right. Be a good representative of the Leaf.”

She reminded, the boy slowly turning to look at her and giving a curt nod. She crouched in front of him so they were eye level. One of her hands came up to rest on the top of his head so he’d be forced to make eye contact with her.

“And, most importantly, stay safe. I love you, badass.”

She added, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. When she pulled back, he was still giving her that determined look, but a light blush had covered his face. She stood back to full height, using the hand on his head to lightly ruffle his hair. He mumbled his response, just barely audible. 

“Yeah… you too.”

Atsuko brightened immediately at the words, a grin spreading across her face. She knew he would do well and that Kakashi would make sure everyone got back safely. Knowing this didn’t make it any less nerve wracking, but it did help ease her worries a little. Kakashi was the next to speak. 

“You have to promise the same. This is your first mission in four years… and it's an A-Rank mission at that… we should be worrying about you.”

He said, reaching out and tucking a strand of grey hair behind her ear. She just smiled at him, eyes scrunching shut with the force of it. 

“Well, you don’t need to worry about me! Because I could wipe the floor with both of you.”

She retorted, earning a scoff from both Kakashi and Sasuke, the younger boy rolling his eyes as well. She chuckled at their reactions, arms flying out to pull them both into a hug against her. Kakashi laughed lightly and Sasuke groaned but neither of them tried to escape her grasp. 

“I love you both. Can’t wait until you two get back and Sasuke can tell me all about his first big mission.”

She released them both, Sasuke taking a step back and Kakashi moving forward again to plant a quick kiss on her lips, clearly not able to get enough. This was going to be the first time they’d be apart for a while and she wondered how they would both hold up without those little kisses and tender gestures. She also thought about Sasuke being away, how much she’d miss his snide little remarks and smirks, mixed in with those rare softer moments. When Kakashi pulled away from their kiss, she heard a loud voice ring out behind her. 

“Sasuke’s mom! Were you and Kakashi-sensei kissing?!”

Naruto called, the sound of approaching footsteps coming faster and faster until the blonde boy was standing right in front of her, eyes crinkled in confusion as he looked up at her. She laughed and nodded, glancing up at Kakashi who looked like he’d rather die than have this conversation. Or deal with Naruto’s yelling. 

“Yeah, we were, Naruto… Kakashi is my boyfriend.”

She replied, not seeing much sense in hiding it now. They were typically pretty careful about public displays of affection in front of the other members of Team 7, simply because they didn’t want to complicate things or have Naruto or Sakura think that Sasuke would get special treatment from Kakashi. However, they both knew it was inevitable, so Atsuko rolled with Naruto’s discovery easily. The boy turned his scrutinizing gaze between the two of them, looking back and forth until he settled on looking at Atsuko again. He gestured for her to kneel down so he could whisper something in her ear. She obliged easily, crouching and leaning in as Naruto cupped his hands around his mouth and pressed them against her ear. 

“You could do way better than Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke’s mom.”

He whispered, causing Atsuko to immediately drop her head back with a boisterous laugh, chest bouncing with the force of it. She came back up, fixing Kakashi with a skeptical expression, eyes narrowed but a smirk still firmly planted on her face. He raised an eyebrow in response, clearly wondering what the hell Naruto had told her. She turned back to Naruto and whispered in response. 

“You think so? Like who?”

She asked, bitting down a little on the corner of her mouth to prevent from giggling in his face. Naruto’s eyebrows furrowed in thought, pursing his lips as he mulled her question over. Atsuko just watched in mild enchantment. The boy was entirely too cute and the positive energy just rolled off of him in waves. Living with the stoic and slightly hateful Sasuke and the sarcastic often poker faced Kakashi… it made these little moments with Naruto like a sweet treat. He was so unfiltered and optimistic it was a nice change of pace. Finally, it looked like he had come to a conclusion, face lighting up as he motioned for her to lean in again. She obliged, smile over taking her face when he cupped his hands around her ear again. 

“Like Iruka-sensei. He’s way nicer.”

He informed, the smile on his face audible. Atsuko pulled back with a giggle and shook her head a little as she whispered her reply. 

“He is very nice. However, he’s just a good friend. Kakashi is more nice than he wants you to know, I promise. He even brought me flowers on our first date.”

She teased, making Naruto snicker in response, peaking over his shoulder as Kakashi glared daggers down at where the boy and Atsuko were huddled. This only made his giggling louder and he turned back with a nod. 

“Kakashi-sensei’s a big softy, huh?”

He asked, and Atsuko nodded, his giggle infectious as she did the same. She rose back to full height and reached a hand out to ruffle his blonde hair. 

“He sure is. But don’t tell him I told you that.”

She replied, loud enough this time for the older man to hear. Kakashi quirked an eyebrow at her, visible eye squinted in a mild threat. Atsuko chuckled and shrugged in response, hearing another set of quickly approaching footsteps from behind her and she turned to see Sakura jogging lightly toward them, pink hair fluttering as she waved wildly. 

“Kakashi-sensei! Atsuko-sensei! Sasuke!”

She called out, smile beaming and uttering a disappointed 

“Naruto…”

As she drew closer, smile faltering ever so slightly to throw the boy a glare. But Naruto didn’t seem to mind, he just blushed and grinned at her. 

“Hey, Sakura! Did you know Sasuke’s mom and Kakashi-sensei are dating?!”

He all but shouted, causing the pink haired girl to roll her eyes and adjust the backpack on her shoulders. 

“Of course I knew that, dummy. You’re late, as always.”

She replied, turning her nose up a little and shaking her head. Atsuko chuckled and peaked over her shoulder at Kakashi, who had his hand covering his face, head hung low in embarrassment. Sasuke was rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger as well, seeming to be at wits end. Their displays only made Atsuko laugh a little more. 

“Wait… does that mean that Kakashi-sensei is Sasuke’s dad?!”

Naruto shouted, pointing a finger over her shoulder at Kakashi. Atsuko’s face fell at that question as both Sasuke and Kakashi immediately responded with a firm, 

“No!”

In perfect unison, a tense silence following afterwards. Atsuko gave Naruto a nervous smile when she noticed the stunned look on his face and spun on her heel to face Kakashi and Sasuke again, both looking decently pissed at this point. She let out a humorless chuckle to break the tension and reached out to a put a hand on each of their shoulders. 

“Okay, you guys should get going before that nickname sticks…”

She encouraged, looking between them nervously. Kakashi let out a defeated sigh and gave her a curt nod, Sasuke mimicked the motion, and they both relaxed just a little. She released the breath she had been holding and fixed them with a genuine smile. She leaned out to give Kakashi a kiss on the cheek, a little blush visible above his mask when Sakura and Naruto teamed up to coo out the worlds most obnoxious, 

“Awwww!”

Atsuko sent them a glare over her shoulder and both fell quiet, casting nervous grins at the ground. She turned her attention to Sasuke next, the hand on his shoulder coming up to fuss with his hair a little, dipping down to press a quick kiss to the crown of his head. The blush from earlier returned to grace his cheeks as well when she pulled back and he fixed her with a half hearted glare. 

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. You love it.”

She teased, pinching his cheek quickly as he reached up to swat her hand away, scowl turning into a cute smirk. She pulled away so she was no longer in the middle of the group, watching as Sakura quickly rushed over to find a spot next to Sasuke and Naruto stood on the other side of Kakashi. She gave a quick wave as another man older man approached them, she assumed this was the bridge builder they were escorting. 

“Okay, I’m gone. I love you both. Naruto and Sakura…”

She addressed the two, both of them turning their big eyes towards her in silent question. With a wink she added, 

“You two keep an eye on em for me, okay?”

Naruto grinned wide, eyes squeezing shut as he gave her a thumbs up. 

“Believe it!”

He shouted back as Sakura clasped her hands behind her back and gave Atsuko a dignified nod. 

“Yes ma’am.”

She replied, soft but full of confidence. Sakura was always so polite and well mannered in front of her, but she knew from Naruto and Sasuke that she had a bit of a spit-fire in her. She assumed the girl was overly nice and respectful in her presence just to impress her because she was Sasuke’s guardian. Her crush on the boy was so obvious it was a little sickening, so maybe she was just trying to get Atsuko’s blessing. It was kind of cute, and if Sakura cared about her opinion of her that much, maybe she would grant her that blessing someday far in the future. 

Still, Atsuko only smiled and nodded in return, watching as they all turned to greet the man who’d just arrived, Kakashi going over mission details and formations immediately. 

She took her leave then, hardly able to tear herself away from the group as she headed back into the depth of the village. Her heart ached a little and she couldn’t help but glance over her shoulder a couple more times until the outlines of the team members left her vision. She had complete and total faith in Kakashi but that didn’t make it much easier. She hadn’t been apart from either him or Sasuke for longer than a couple days in almost 4 years. Now they were both going out on a mission together… Sasuke’s first mission outside of the village. He was growing up so fast… before she realized what was happening a couple tears had formed in her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away with a disbelieving chuckle. 

Sasuke was growing up and she’d turned soft. Things really had changed over the last four years… All for the better she liked to believe. She did her best to let go of the tension in her muscles and the nausea that had been weighing on her since this morning. Taking a couple deep breaths and trying to focus on the repetitive motion of her feet hitting the dirt, she managed to stop the tears and convince herself that everything would work out just fine. She should really be focusing on her own mission… 

Lord Third had paired her up with Yamato again, but this time it was supposed to be just the two of them. One of the Anbu had advised Lord Third of a possible plot to assassinate the head of the Hyuga Clan, Hiashi. Typically, these types of incidents were handled by the clan, as the perpetrator was almost always someone from within their own ranks. However, the person they suspected of this plot was not a Hyuga, but rather a member of Danzo’s Foundation. The tip they’d received had said that one of the Anbu working under the Hokage had overheard a conversation between two of Danzo’s Foundation Anbu. The bits of pieces of the conversation included the quotes ’Once Hiashi has been dealt with…’ and ‘Those brats of his are too young to assume the position… we know who’s next and he’ll be more sympathetic to Lord Danzo’s efforts’. 

When Atsuko had read over the file, it hadn’t come as a surprise to her at all. Danzo was a snake, plain and simple. He had been one of the driving factors behind the Uchiha Massacre and it certainly wasn’t beyond him to authorize an assassination for political gain on his part. From what she understood, he had been passed over for the title of Hokage and didn’t agree with Lord Third’s peace seeking policies. Though, Atsuko had to wonder just how peace seeking the man was, all things considered. The more she considered it though, the more she wondered if being assigned this specific mission wasn’t a message to her somehow. Or if she had simply been selected because she already knew what Danzo and the leaders of the Hidden Leaf were capable of. Might as well keep all their secrets in one place so, if the need ever arose, they could be disposed of quickly and with only a single fatality. And Yamato’s past involvement with Danzo put him in a similar position, both of them knowing all too well what the man was capable of. 

While deep in thought, Atsuko managed to stop into the coffee shop on her way to her and Yamato’s meeting spot. A large black coffee for him, and a large coffee with vanilla creamer for her, and two pastries in a brown paper bag. Like muscle memory. In fact, she didn’t even realize she was already approaching the large oak tree they typically met under until she was walking up the small hill to it, the change in incline forcing her from her thoughts. After re-orienting a little, she smiled to herself and let out a breathless chuckle. Old habits died hard, indeed. 

Atop of the small, grassy, hill was a rather large oak tree, towering above her. The angle she was approaching from ensured that the tree casted a long, wide, shadow, sheltering her from the blinding rays of the early morning sun. At the base of the tree she was able to make out the outline of her long time friend and partner, Yamato, leaning back against the trunk leisurely. His posture a stark contrast to the connotations of the Anbu outfit he currently donned. Atusko grinned wide when he turned that unreadable, porcelain, cat mask in her direction, both her arms coming up to show off her breakfast bounty. 

“Good morning, my favorite kitty cat. I come bearing gifts.”

She cooed, wiggling the coffee and paper bag in his face. His muffled laughter became more clear when he pushed the mask up to rest on the top of his head, fixing her with a soft smile as she noticed a light blush on his cheeks. He reached out and took the coffee from her hand gingerly.

“Good morning. And I thought we had a discussion about you calling me ‘kitty’.”

He snarked, taking a sip of the coffee and wincing at its heat. He popped the lid off and blew across the surface, quirking an eyebrow at her as she grinned up at him, looking a little transfixed. 

“Well, maybe. Four fucking years ago, Tenzo.”

She quipped, giggling and taking a sip of her own coffee as she moved past him to take a seat at the base of the tree. He spun around to face her again, normally large eyes widening impossibly more as he struggled to swallow down the coffee in his mouth. When he did, he pulled the cup away with a sigh. 

“Language. Also, it’s Yamato now.”

He corrected, for what felt like the millionth time. She dropped her head back against the tree with a laugh, feeling him sit down next to her. 

“Oh, come on. Aren’t you at least happy that I’m back on the saddle? No ‘Welcome Back!’ or ‘I missed you!’? You’re just coming right out of the gate and scolding me for my language, huh?”

She teased, shoulder bumping against his as he chuckled and shrugged. “Guess it doesn’t feel like you’ve been gone that long… but I have missed you, ya know.”He replied, nudging her shoulder back as well, causing Atusko’s arm to jostle as she moved to keep her coffee from spilling. 

“Hey! Easy, tiger. Gonna make me spill this very expensive, very hot, coffee all over my lap.”

She scolded, arm moving like a gyroscope, just barely keeping the coffee from splashing out of the confines of its cup. Yamato choked on his drink a little in response, pulling the cup away from his mouth immediately as he coughed into his elbow, eyes squeezed shut. Atsuko giggled as she watched the events unfold. 

“Tiger is worse than kitty, huh?”

She teased, smirking as she took a leisurely sip of her coffee. Yamato nodded quickly, coughs becoming less violent as he worked on clearing his throat. When he pulled his face from his elbow, the blush covering his face was deep and she imagined he was hot to the touch. 

“Much worse.”

He managed, voice hoarse and raw as Atsuko dropped her head back with another full body laugh. It really did feel like they hadn’t been apart for more than a day. Granted, she’d seen him over the last four years, of course. They’d spent time together when they were both free, but it was nothing like seeing him almost everyday. She’d missed teasing him like this. Sitting under this tree, it almost felt like nothing had changed… In reality, everything had.

When it seemed like he’d regained control of his breathing, Yamato spoke up again after safely swallowing another sip of his coffee.

“So, the guy we’re looking for… we have reason to believe they aren’t working under Danzo’s direct orders as far as Hiashi is concerned…”

He informed her, and Atsuko scoffed in response. Yamato knew the man personally. Danzo had all but raised him, taking him from Orochimaru’s lab where he was forced to be the subject of so many experiments, just to keep him hidden from the rest of the world. He’d viewed Yamato as nothing more than another tool on his belt. 

“Yeah, I’m sure they aren’t. Fucker.”

She mumbled in response, sipping her coffee again as she glared at nothing, just the tops of buildings and the sky in her line of vision. Yamato let out a gentle sigh. 

“I know. But we have to remain impartial here. Just do what Lord Third has asked. Which is to apprehend the Anbu and his partner, don’t worry about Danzo.”

He advised, sounding a little defeated himself at the obvious injustice. Lord Third turned a blind eye to Danzo over and over again. Atsuko wanted peace more than anything. Her time in the war had drilled that into her. But… deep down, she hoped that Danzo and that whole corrupt council got what was coming to them. Specifically because of their treatment of the Uchiha. However, she realized that Danzo was just the product of generations of prejudice and injustice. 

The issues between the Uchiha and Hidden Leaf had started long ago. Though she hadn’t been alive during his time, she knew that Lord Second, Tobirama Senju, had ensured that the Uchiha clan would remain ostracized and distrusted for generations. He had placed the Uchiha in charge of the Hidden Leaf’s police force and had segregated them from the rest of the village physically as well. Law enforcement in any society would always be mildly distrusted, no matter the circumstances. And this distrust was made worse tenfold when the enforcers of these laws were all a part of the same clan, closed off and separate from the rest of the village. It was easy to see why the village became more wary of the Uchiha, thinking them corrupt because there were no real opportunities for intermingling. People feared what they didn’t understand. They stayed in their walled off community and only came out to arrest people. Of course they wouldn’t be trusted or welcomed into the fold. Of course the Uchiha would then, in turn, become indignant and fed up with the injustice, plotting a Coup. 

The more she considered all of this, the more it became apparent to her just how deep the corruption and prejudice ran. The years and years of war before the formation of the Shinobi Nations had left the clans involved with resentments. Despite the attempt to move forward and resolve those issues, those grudges remained. Passed down generation to generation, only to be exacerbated by the current political systems in place. A system where one person led, and everyone else followed. A distinct lack of representation had planted the seeds for an uprising long ago. Instead of reworking the system so that it benefited and represented everyone, it remained the same despite the changing times, and culminated in the near genocide of an entire clan. There was no way to return what had been lost. The public deified the Uchiha now, but that was only a luxury afforded to the dead. Had the Uchiha massacre never occurred, things would have remained the same until a real uprising occurred. Maybe the only real way to right these wrongs or bring about real change was to-

“Atsuko? Hey! Still with me?”

Yamato’s concerned voice broke through her racing thoughts, her head snapping to look at his worried face, eyes wide and brows knitted together. Atsuko’s vision focused again and she swallowed hard, nodding slowly before looking back ahead.

“Yeah.. Sorry, just thinking.”

She replied, going to bring her coffee cup back to her lips, only to see the brown liquid spilling down the side of the paper cup, her nails having dug into it long ago. The coffee was starting to spill onto her pants, hot and somehow already sticky. She cursed, standing quickly and popping the lid off, dumping the rest of it out into the grass on the other side of the tree. She peeled her fingers from the holes they’d created, red and a little raw from digging into the scalding coffee, her finger tips stinging harshly when a cool breeze came through. 

She hissed in pain, holding the destroyed coffee cup in her other hand and turning back to Yamato.

“Ah shit.. I’m sorry, Tenzo. Er, Yamato. I- I need to run home before we can move in… my fingers…”

She muttered, still a little dazed from the power of her thoughts and the pain shooting through her hand. Yamato’s eyes widened at the sight and he stood immediately, cradling the scalded hand in his own as he inspected the wounds. 

“Shit. Alright, let’s go get em wrapped up.”

He agreed easily, taking the crushed, empty, cup from her other hand and stuffing it down into the paper bag that still held their untouched breakfast.

Atsuko spent the majority of the walk back to her house in contemplative silence. It was like she’d had a breakthrough earlier, much like the day she’d picked Kakashi apart. A single thought had caused this domino effect of other realizations… The anger that pulsed through her now at these revelations was unlike anything she’d felt before. Sure, when the council had first told her about Itachi and what had truly occurred, she was livid. But she’d never really thought of things this way and there was a small part of her that still thought maybe it was the best thing to do. Maybe they knew better than she did and she was just being emotional. She had still wanted to maintain faith in an obviously failing system. Selfish. The system she wanted to uphold had never worked properly. Not for the Uchiha. Not for the child soldiers like herself and Kakashi. There had to be a better way…

Was she really this brainwashed? Why was all of this coming up now? Her heart was racing, she realized. The physical response grounding her, she sighed and tried to push the thoughts to the back of her mind. 

“Atsuko. You’re really starting to worry me here. Tell me what’s going on?”

She heard Yamato speak from beside her again, only this time his voice sounded more stern. Concerned, but she knew he was testing her psyche now. To see if she was still fit to complete the mission. Fuck, her mind had spiraled so quickly… She took a deep breath and nodded, forcing the thoughts to silence by bitting down on the inside her cheek, hard enough to taste blood.

“I’m okay, really. Sorry for freaking you out. I guess I just got to thinking about some stuff and it swept me up a little. I just need to calm myself down… keep talking to me?”

She suggested, taking the time to finally look up at him with a mildly pleading look on her face. Yamato’s eyes scanned her own and he nodded in the affirmative, looking straight back ahead. 

“Right… how is Yami doing? I haven’t seen him in a while.”

He asked, trying to offer up an easy topic, his voice a little lighter. Atsuko smiled, more just a quirk at the corners of her mouth, and turned to look back ahead, nodding slowly. Yami was their cat. A thin, solid black, shorthair with giant yellow eyes… Atsuko had gotten him a few years back to help Sasuke move back to sleeping in his own bed. It had worked surprisingly well. The cat had taken to Sasuke immediately, following him around the house and lazing in the sun outside when he trained in the backyard. He would crawl into bed with the boy every night, snuggling up against his torso, and he hadn’t had a nightmare since. The one downside to all of this was Yami seemed to dislike everyone other than Sasuke. 

He avoided her at all costs, and down and out terrorized Kakashi at times. She swore it was because of his Ninken, because Yami only ever seemed to attack when he came home reeking like a dog. Kakashi, however, was convinced the cat had a vendetta against him. Even wondering allowed once, while Atsuko was tending to some rather nasty scratches on his arm, if maybe the cat was a reincarnation of a rival from a past life, sent to exact revenge. 

“Hateful as ever. But in the prettiest way possible. Kakashi and I have taken to calling him Lord Yami, due to his impossibly high standards…”

She replied, grateful when Yamato began to speak immediately afterwards, not leaving any room for silence so her thoughts could creep back up. He really did know her well…

“He still won’t eat anything other than cooked salmon?”

He asked, smirk playing on his lips as he turned to looked down at her for a moment. Atsuko let out a humorless chuckle and shook her head.

“Nope. I have to make his food special every day. It’s like he knows he’s there to serve a purpose and we will do whatever we can to keep him happy.”

Yamato chuckled and, again, replied quickly. 

“Well, at least Sasuke isn’t having trouble sleeping anymore… how did you handle seeing him off this morning?”

He asked, quirking a brow at her when she actually laughed a little. Atsuko started to retell the story of her morning before she came to see him, eternally grateful for the distraction and actually starting to move past her earlier thoughts, shoulders visibly relaxing. They walked the bustling streets of the village, keeping up the light hearted conversation the rest of the way to her home. 

———————————————

It had officially been three whole weeks. Kakashi and Sasuke and the rest of Team 7 had been gone for three fucking weeks… On an escort mission. A C-Rank escort mission. Atsuko was pacing back and forth just outside the front gates of the village, the sun high in the sky by now. She been here since dawn, worrying her hands together incessantly and trying her damnedest to not pick the peeling skin from her still healing fingers. They were finally due to return today. 

Her mission with Yamato had come to a close a week prior, coming to a successful conclusion with the apprehension of the two men responsible for the plot on Hiashi’s life. But Lord Third didn’t have anything new for them yet, so she’d been left to her own devices for two whole weeks, worrying and anxious every minute of every day that passed. She’d crashed into Lord Third’s office a week and a half ago, ranting and raving, wanting to know if Kakashi had sent any updates or word as to when they would be back? What the hell happened? Why a simple fucking escort mission was taking so fucking long?! He’d tried to calm her down, but she only grew more agitated when he didn’t have the answers she was looking for. Eventually, they called Yamato to come collect her. 

He had taken her home, forced to her to sit and breathe while he made her tea. Then, he’d decided to stay over until Kakashi returned. Crashing on her couch and keeping her occupied throughout the day to distract her from the ever building anxiety. Even with him there, she wasn’t getting any sleep or eating properly. He had to stop her several times from picking at the nails on her uninjured hand, or from chewing her bottom lip raw while she stared out the window. On top of that, Yamato had tried his best to distract her. Taking her to the training grounds, showing her some new Wood Style moves he’d learned because he remembered she was always fascinated by those. He tried to take her out to the bar, to dinner, to the bookstore. Things would go okay for a while, then she’d get this distant look in her eyes before making a beeline for the exit, him following fast on her heels as he tried to reel her back in. Atsuko knew she hadn’t made it easy on him at all, but he stuck by her side, complaining and pleading with her to ‘please just calm down’ the entire time. 

When they had finally gotten word 3 days ago that Kakashi, Sasuke, and the rest of the Team 7 would be back in 3 days time, Atsuko and Yamato both looked as if they were about to collapse. Her out of relief for conformation of their safety, him out of relief that he would be getting relieved of his duties as babysitter to the anxious, inconsolable, woman. Even though it wasn’t really necessary anymore, Yamato continued to stay with her, the energy in her home much more welcoming now that she was more relaxed. The night they’d gotten word, Atsuko remembered they were both so exhausted from the weeks stress and tension that they both passed out the couch, relaxing against one another and sleeping for 10 hours straight. 

Even now, Yamato was with her, leaned against the frame of the giant gate in full Anbu gear. 

“We’ve been here for 6 hours, Atsuko. I don’t understand why you would insist on getting here so early. You know Kakashi wouldn’t make those kids walk overnight. We knew they wouldn’t be here until later.”

He sighed out, dropping his head back against the wood as his thick arms came up to fold across his chest. Atsuko stopped her pacing to look at him, immediately dropping her hands into her pocket as she felt the warning look he gave her, even behind that cat mask. 

“Well… ya know, I didn’t ask you to come…”

She replied, furrowing her brows together to pout at him ever so slightly. Yamato scoffed, the sound muffle by the porcelain covering his face. 

“Alright, guess I’ll take my leave then."

He replied, pulling his torso away from the wood to stand up fully, stretching his arms over his head as he prepared to leave. Atsuko dropped her head forward with a sigh, bringing her bandaged hand up to run her fingers through her hair. 

“Shit. No, don’t go. I’m sorry.”

She mumbled, finally looking back up at him, again able to tell he was smirking at her under that expressionless mask. She stepped a little closer, motioning for him to raise the barrier between their eyes. When he did, she was close enough to have to crane her head back a little to look up at his face. Just like she’d thought, he was smirking ever so slightly. Her hand flew out, smacking his chest lightly. 

“Asshole, teasing me like that… But seriously, Tenzo, thank you for staying with me this last week or so… I know I wasn’t easy to deal with and it may not have seemed like it, but it really did help to know you were there.” 

Atsuko told him, a loving smile on her face as her hand stayed resting against his chest. His little distractions had helped her a great deal, really. Even though most of their outings were cut short when her worries took over, she was grateful for the little bit of time she got to spend in blissful ignorance. Yamato returned her smile, a little blush dusting across his cheeks as his free hand came up to rub the back of his neck. 

“Of course. You know I’m always in your corner.”

He replied, looking down at her now, eyelids heavy and face relaxed. Atsuko met his gaze and returned the expression, her heart feeling like it was in her throat, throbbing and trying to crawl out. She really did love him. Yamato’s lips parted like he was going to speak again, but before he had the chance a voice rung out from their left, far away but still loud enough to recognize. 

“Shut up, Sasuke! You don’t know anything!”

“I know more than you do, idiot.”

Atsuko perked up immediately, head whipping around to face the path in front of them so fast her neck popped in a couple places. A giant grin broke across her face, so big it was painful. At the end of the path, walking towards them, she was able to make out the team. Naruto was walking slightly ahead of them all, hands flailing as he argued at Sasuke over something the other boy didn’t seem the slightest bit interested in. Sasuke was on the other side of Sakura, walking leisurely with his hands in his pockets, his responses to Naruto’s shouting coming out cool and collected. Sakura was in the middle of the two, but clearly taking Sasuke’s side in the argument as she yelled back at Naruto, eventually reaching out to smack the back of his head. In the back of the group walked Kakashi, watching them in mild amusement with his hands placed in his pockets as well. Like he could tell she was looking at him, Kakashi tore his eyes away from the children and made eye contact with Atsuko, his hand coming up out of his pocket to give her a lazy wave and a close eyed smile. 

She took this as her invitation, breaking off in a dead sprint towards the group. Naruto’s head whipped in her direction as did Sakura’s, their argument falling silent as they cocked their heads in curiosity. Naruto seemed to make out who it was and grinned, eyes scrunched shut. 

“Hey Sasuke’s mom! Glad to see us?”

He yelled, waving wildly. Even while running, Atsuko managed to bubble out a laugh, just giddy to see all of their faces again. Sasuke looked up at Naruto’s words, eye brows furrowed as Atsuko approached him first. His eyes widened when he realized she was not slowing down her running in the slightest, but before he could duck out of the way, she was on him. Her arms wrapped around his thin body in a tight bear hug as she lifted him from the ground, holding him close to her chest as his struggled to escape her grasp. 

“Hey, badass! I missed you.”

She chuckled, kissing his cheek sloppily as the two other kids giggled at the display. 

“You’re going to crush me…”

Sasuke grumbled out, still wiggling like a fish on a hook, trying his damnedest to end this embarrassment quickly. Atsuko set him back on his feet with a laugh, seeing the dark blush that spread across his cheeks, her hands came to rest on both of his shoulders as she looked him over. No worse for wear. A few scratches and bruises on his arms, but he looked okay for the most part. Sasuke had his eyes fixed on the ground, scowl pulling at his features. 

“Hey. Look at me.”

Atsuko demanded, though her tone remained soft and quieter before. He reluctantly turned his head up to look at her, those expressive dark eyes still glaring at her slightly. Her heart seized in her chest at the sight of his face, just so eternally grateful that he was here and okay. 

“I really did miss you.”

She let him know, and Sasuke turned his eyes away from hers again, the blush on his cheeks still visible. With his gaze fixed back on the ground he mumbled out. 

“Yeah…. me too.”

Clearly trying to keep quiet so his teammates didn’t overhear. Atsuko gave his hair one final ruffle before turning her attention to the other Genin, the entire group having stopped walking when they noticed her running. She grinned down at Naruto and Sakura, the blonde haired boy looking past her and snickering at Sasuke’s embarrassment, while the young girl blushed with her hands clasped behind her back, looking down as she poked at the ground with the toe of her sandal. 

“I’m glad to see you both are okay as well. Looks like you did a good job taking care of Sasuke and Kakashi for me.”

She hummed, moving closer and dipping down to peck Naruto’s cheek quickly. His face went from a teasing smirk to stunned expression, eyes wide and mouth hanging open as a deep blush covered his face, his snickers coming to an abrupt halt as he stared up at her. She giggled and turned to Sakura, who was also giggling at Naruto’s reaction. She bowed slightly to the young girl, throwing her a wink after she returned the gesture, which only made the pink haired girl laugh a little harder. 

“Thank you, both.”

She added, Sakura giving a nod in the affirmative while it looked like Naruto was content on becoming part of the ground, not moving an inch since she kissed his cheek and mouth gaped open. She finally turned on her heel to face the man behind her. Even with his mask on, his eyes were curved up in a sweet smile. When their eyes locked he leaned forward a bit at the waist, like he was waiting for his kiss on the cheek as well. 

“Hello, dear. I missed y-“

But before he could continue, Atsuko had brought her hand up in a flurry, connecting with his cheek. The sound of the slap reverberating through the woods and making all of the children fall completely silent. Kakashi’s visible eye was wide with shock, his head having turned to the side with the force of the smack. 

“Why the hell didn’t you send word that your mission was going to take so long?! I have been worried sick! I didn’t know what the hell had happened! You could have all been hurt! Or worse!”

She yelled, hands immediately going to her hips. While she had worried about their wellbeing the entire time they were gone, she had also built up a little resentment for Kakashi in that time. While she really didn’t know what had happened, there had to have been time in those 3 weeks to send some kind of communication just letting her and everyone know they were alive at least. She knew Sakura’s parents and Iruka were worried as well. She’d run into Iruka at the grocery on one of the days Yamato had tried to get her out of the house. He’d expressed his concern then, having been there when the mission was assigned and knowing it shouldn’t have taken longer than a week. Then, Sakura’s parent had been called when word of the team’s return had made it back to the Hokage. She’d watched them visibly deflate just as she and Yamato had, sighing in relief and a couple tears prickling at her mothers eyes. The whole thing really had been quite the ordeal. 

Kakashi was in stunned silence, looking down at her wide eyed as his hand came up to rub his cheek in a soothing motion. Atsuko raised her eyebrows, tilting her head in a condescending way, clearly waiting for a response. She heard Naruto whisper something to Sakura, but couldn’t quite make out what it was. Sasuke on the other hand was staring up at Kakashi with a smug smile, clearly enjoying watching the man stunned and speechless. 

“Nothing? Not a single word in response?”Atsuko demanded, watching as Kakashi stiffened a little, the hand on his cheek going to rub the back of his neck. 

“I- well, it wasn’t that simple, really…”

He started, stuttering over his words in that high pitched tone he donned when he was embarrassed. Just as Atsuko was about to interrupt him and demand to know what the hell happened, Naruto spoke up from behind her. At the sound of his voice, she whipped her head around and fixed the boy with the same glare she’d given Kakashi. He flinched a little, but continued anyway, eyes squinted shut.

“Well, actually, Sasuke’s mom… Kakashi-sensei was hurt!”

He managed to get out, yelling a little at the end. It took a second for the words to process but once they did, the glare fell from her face and she turned back to Kakashi, eyebrows knitted together in concern. All that anger melted away in an instant at the thought of him being injured… so injured he couldn’t even send a letter, nonetheless. 

“Hurt?”

She asked, tone softer now. Kakashi nodded a little, the hand on his neck falling back to his side but still looking a tad embarrassed. 

“Yeah. It’s a long story…”

He replied, sounding more than a little weary. She pouted a little and turned her eyes to Sasuke, who only gave a shrug of his shoulders, but when his head ducked down to stare at the ground, she knew something pretty significant had happened on that escort mission. Turning her attention back to Naruto and Sakura, she noticed they were both wearing the same sad expression.

“Oh… I uh… I made dinner? Naruto, do you want to come eat with us? You all can tell me what happened? Sakura, you’re welcome as well, but I know your parents are worried sick.”

She suggested softly, stepping back a little to look at all of them. Something was definitely different. They’d seen something on that mission. Naruto perked up a little and fixed her with those big blue eyes, smiling as he nodded.

“Yeah!”

Naruto replied, and she gave him an encouraging smile in return, turning her attention to Sakura, who was already taking a couple steps away from the group. 

“I should go home… but I will see you all tomorrow.”

She said, before turning and jogging to the entrance gate of the village in a whirlwind of long pink hair. When she passed by, Atsuko noticed Yamato was no longer standing at the threshold and she couldn’t sense his Chakra anymore.

She turned her attention back to the two boys and Kakashi, nodding her head in the direction that Sakura had gone. 

“Alright, come on. It’ll get cold.”

—————————————————————

Atsuko sat back in her chair with a soft sigh, her arms coming up to cross under her chest as she considered everything she’d just been told. So they’d had a run in with Zabuza Momochi… She recalled him from her bingo book, an S-Rank Rogue Ninja from the Hidden Mist, one of the Seven Swordsman of the Mist. Naruto and Sasuke had managed to get the drop on him after Kakashi was locked inside his water prison jutsu. He was freed and quickly overwhelmed Zabuza, but before he could put an end to the man, a mysterious stranger stepped in and claimed to be a Hunter-nin. The stranger supposedly ‘killed’ Zabuza and was going to ensure all traces of his body were eradicated. In reality though, the stranger was Zabuza’s partner, Haku, and after spending a week healing, Kakashi and Team 7 were attacked by both of them on the bridge. 

Haku had trapped Naruto and Sasuke in a jutsu that seemed to be comprised of mirrors, allowing him to move between them quickly. Naruto had been overwhelmed by the senbon Haku was using, but Sasuke had awakened his Sharingan, allowing them to take the advantage for some time… Until, Sasuke had risked his life to protect Naruto. Naruto and Sakura had thought Sasuke was dead… It all culminated in Haku throwing himself in front of Kakashi’s Lightning Blade to protect Zabuza. He died, and the thug who had hired Zabuza arrived himself to finish the job of killing the bridge builder, along with an army of other thugs. Zabuza had used the last bit of his strength to kill the man and several of the henchmen while the townspeople had arrived to scare off the remaining ones. As his final wish, Kakashi carried Zabuza to Haku’s body, so he could die beside him. 

It was a lot and even just the retelling of the story had Atsuko overly emotional, having to dab tears away from her eyes at several points. She knew this had to have weighed heavily on all of them, but most of all on Naruto and Sasuke. This was the cruel reality of the Shinobi world. People being used as tools, then dying. It was a hard lesson for them to learn and hopefully one that stuck with them and inspired change when it would be their time to lead. Though, that was not that part that made her cry. 

Sitting next to her at the kitchen table, Sasuke had Yami in his lap, slowly petting the black cat as it slept. She turned her head to stare at him for a long while. He’d almost died… or at the very least, they thought he had. The mere idea of that made her throat swell and ache with the need to let out a broken sob. However, she tried to save face in front of company. She’d hold him and cry later… For now, she tried to focus on the fact that he was sitting right here in front of her. He was okay and safe. And he’d awakened his Sharingan! That was a good thing… right?

She let out a gentle sigh when it seemed like everyone at the table had noticed her staring and were becoming more and more uncomfortable as the silence drew on. She turned back to look at Kakashi, seated directly across from her. They had all taken turns telling different parts of the story, but he’d let the boys drive the narrative for the most part. He was watching her cautiously, a little nervous as to what she may have to say. Atsuko found this a little funny. He’d almost died. They had all almost died… and he appeared to be worried by her reaction to the story. She couldn’t imagine what he thought she’d do. Yell? Cry? She supposed those were both valid options and right in line with her character… but still, it was over now. And it’s not like they had a choice in whether or not an S-Rank Rogue Ninja attacked them. They’d done the best they could with the hand they’d been dealt, so she wasn’t angry. Scared… maybe. Proud? Absolutely.

Naruto had finished the story and was looking at her expectantly as well. Like he wanted her opinion. Or some kind of praise for a job well done. After a few more beats of silence, she leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table and her head on top of her intertwined fingers.

“Wow… I’m really not sure what to say… I guess I can start by congratulating Sasuke…”

She managed, looking back at the boy again who perked up at the sound of his name, looking at her with those massive eyes, brow furrowed as he continued to stroke Yami. 

“On awakening your Sharingan. That’s no small feat… and managing to use it immediately in the heat of battle… It’s impressive. You also risked your life for your comrade. Even though the idea of you getting hurt or… terrifies me. That was a truly noble thing to do. I’m also so unbelievably grateful that you’re okay. I can’t even really put it into words, how I feel… but, despite my concerns, I’m immensely proud of you.”

She added, the last bit a whisper as she leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. He blushed a little, but gave her that determined look when she pulled back, nodding. 

“Thanks.”

He replied, and Atsuko’s smiled sadly in response… She wondered what effect his brush with death had had on him… She would ask him later when they were alone. She then turned her attention to Naruto, smile a little more genuine. 

“And Naruto… to hear you managed to change the heart of an S-Rank Rogue Shinobi? Thats incredible as well… and hearing that you both worked together to help each other… thank you for defending Sasuke. I’m proud to have been your sensei.”

She complimented, watching at the boy grinned wildly, eyes squeezed shut tight as he chewed another bite. 

“You got it, Sasuke’s mom!”

He replied, giving her a thumbs up. Atsuko’s heart swelled a little at the boys seemingly endless optimism. Then, she turned her attention to Kakashi. He was leaned back in his chair, much like she had been only a few moments ago, arms crossed over his chest and seeming a little more relaxed that she was responding to the information calmly. 

“And you. Thank you for keeping everyone safe. I know I don’t really need to waste words complimenting you… So, just… thank you.”

She managed out, choking up a little as the emotions threatened to overwhelm her. It was so much and this whole situation was nerve wracking. They had been gone for so long and she had no idea what could have happened. She kept trying to remind herself that everyone was back and safe now but it didn’t quell the fear in her heart. The fear that she’d almost lost Sasuke and Kakashi. The fear for their next mission. The fear that situations like this would never end. It was the life of a Shinobi. Dangerous and difficult. 

She sat back in her chair to try and calm her slowly rising heart rate. But that fear and dread began to swallow her whole. Like a dark cloud rolling through and blocking out the sun. She’d felt similar to this when Itachi joined the Anbu. Concerned and dreading what might happen to him after he’d already been through so much at such a young age. However, it hadn’t been like this. So heavy and all encompassing that she knew she was on the verge of a panic attack. Sasuke and Kakashi… they were her family. Sasuke was like her son and Kakashi was the love of her life. If anything happened to either of them she didn’t know if she’d be able to…

She stood abruptly from the table, her chair scooting out behind her with a loud scrape against the floor. The tears were threatening to overflow and her hands wouldn’t stop shaking. 

“I-I’m sorry. I need to excuse myself for a moment…”

She mumbled before making a beeline for the bathroom. She shut the door behind her and locked it, her breathing becoming more ragged with each passing second. It was like she couldn’t get enough air, gasping quickly as her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Lightheaded… She forced herself to sit on the edge of the bathtub, then opted for sinking to the tiled floor, pulling her knees up and burying her face in them. The tears came now, but she didn’t have the breath to sob, so they just rolled down her cheeks in waves as she panted. 

Countless thoughts flew through her mind, and she found herself powerless to stop the images. Kakashi coming back to the village with Sasuke’s lifeless body cradled in his arms. She could see him.. feel him… pale and cold. His funeral. His name on a tombstone. The images were so realistic she could feel the emotions that came along with them. Her sorrow and emptiness, her anger at Kakashi. These emotions rolled over her quickly, like punches to the gut, leaving her breathless and seething. 

She was gasping for air now, her nails digging into the clothed flesh of her shins like the pain would ground her, but it didn’t work this time. There was too much adrenaline pumping through her veins. There was a knock on the door but she couldn’t reply. Then another more urgent one. Her name… Someone was saying her name. 

“Atsuko… I’m coming in.”

The voice said, barely audible over the sound of her panicked breathing and her heart pounding in her ears. She couldn’t even manage a reply, continuing to tremble and press her forehead further into her knees. She could feel the door open and close again. Whoever had come in was towering over her now, but she felt them sit down on the floor directly across from her. 

“Atsuko… you need to calm your breathing or you’ll faint.”

They said, calm and even. Without the door in the way she recognized the voice as Kakashi and she almost snapped at him. Angry at him for a situation that had never come to pass. Livid that he had the audacity to tell her to calm herself. She knew she should slow her breathing. But she just couldn’t make it stop. The fear, the feeling of having all of the air in her lungs pulled from her repeatedly, the anger that pumped through her desperately seeking a release or outlet. It felt like drowning in her own mind. Being swept under by crashing waves as she struggled to fight her way to the surface.

“I. Can’t.”

She gasped out between sharp intakes of breath, the words wet sounding as the tears soaked her lips. Kakashi moved to sit next to her now… she could just barely feel his warmth. Then he placed a hand on her back. The contact made her flinch harshly and she bit down on her bottom lip until her mouth filled with an all too familiar metallic taste. She tried to force her muscles to relax, focusing on the warmth and familiarity of his touch. 

“Listen… Follow my hand. Breathe in through your nose when I move up, breathe out through your mouth when I move down, okay?”

He spoke softly, rubbing soothing circles until he got her response. Atsuko gritted her teeth and nodded against her knees, focusing as much as she could on the feeling of his hand. 

Slowly, his hand inched up her back and she took a deep breath in through her nose, not able to keep the pace with his hand and releasing it too quickly. Still, it was slower than before and he adjusted to her rhythm. She poured all of that desperate energy into tracking his hand, counting each of his fingers as they glided over her spine. The weight of his palm pressing gently between her shoulder blades, silently instructing her to hold her breath for a few seconds. Ever so slightly, he began increasing the length of time he wanted her to breathe in, hold, and breathe out. Eventually, the images and feelings faded as her breathing evened out. By the time she was able to breath on her own, she was exhausted and completely sapped of any strength.

Atsuko sat back up, face covered in tear stains and still a deep shade of red. She dropped her head back against the edge of the bathtub, opening her tightly shut eyes for the first time since the episode started. 

“T-thank you…”She whispered to the ceiling, getting a hum from Kakashi in return. 

“No need… I know that was a lot to hear.”

He reassured her, his hand falling from her back and instead coming up to peel one of her hands from the death grip she still had on her shin. He locked their fingers together and did the same as her, dropping his head back against the tub to look at the ceiling. The tears hadn’t fully stopped, but now they rolled down the sides of her face, soaking her jaw and behind her ears. 

Atsuko found herself drained and empty after the explosion of emotion. So much so that she’d didn’t even have the energy to worry anymore. Everything just felt hollow. The sound of the fan in the bathroom translated to a white noise, filling her head with static. Foggy and slow.

“You want to talk about it?”

Kakashi’s voice cut through the thick nothingness like a flood light on a frigid night. Her head lolled to the side, temple pressed against the cool linoleum lip of the tub as she stared at him. He did the same, his visible eye serious but not showing much concern. This wasn’t the first time she’d had a panic attack. He’d coaxed her through them before and she’d done the same for him on a few rare occasions. An unfortunate side effect of their violent childhoods. 

“I just… The idea that… you both could go one day and not come back…”

Atsuko choked up again at the end, squeezing her eyes shut tight and pressing her lips together to trap a sob in her throat. This all felt a little hypocritical. Or irrational, maybe. She knew this day would come. For four years she trained Sasuke for a life of battle. Now that it had actually come to pass, she could only hope she’d prepared him properly for the worst… Logically, she knew he was more than capable of handling himself and that this was just something she’d have to accept. But her heart felt differently. 

“I know… if it helps, just know that Sasuke did a great job. You’ve trained him well and he can is more than equipped to handle this.”

Kakashi let her know, his voice soothing as he drew small circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. She did find some comfort in his words, mostly enjoying the way his voice filled the bathroom, strong and reassuring. 

“And as long as I’m with him, he will make it back to you.”

He added, causing Atsuko’s eyes to fly open. He was staring at her with a deep determination in his visible eye. So sure of his words that it seemed like he would die by them. She knew he meant it from the depths of his heart. He would never let another comrade die, no matter the cost. She prayed to whoever might be listening that it would never come down to that. Still, the declaration filled her heart with love. Gratitude. Sorrow. It was the most bittersweet thing she’d ever heard. 

“I… thank you, Kakashi. I love you…”

She said, dropping her head to rest on his shoulder for a bit. He hummed in response, the release his grip on her hand so he could drape an arm over her shoulders. 

“And I you…”

Came his easy reply. They sat like this for a while longer while Atsuko continued to calm down and regain her strength. Maybe one day all of this would get easier… or she could stay busy enough that these emotions wouldn’t have time to break through. Either way, she felt herself filling with a mild acceptance. Sasuke and Kakashi would continue to go on missions. Sometimes they would be hurt. But, hopefully, they would always make it back. Kakashi would protect Sasuke with his life, and clearly Sasuke would do the same for any of his comrades… She had to have faith in their abilities, just like they had faith in hers. 

“You know… I think it might be dangerous to leave those two out there together, alone.”

Kakashi finally spoke up again, voice slightly muffled as he had turned to bury his nose in her hair. Atsuko let out a hoarse chuckle, peeling away from his side slowly and nodding. 

“Hmmm… probably. I don’t hear any yelling though. So Sasuke has either killed Naruto already or they are actually getting along…”

She replied quietly, her and Kakashi turning to face each other as they both laughed. After a couple seconds, the very real possibility of that first option sank in and they both went wide eyed, scrambling to stand quickly and rushing for the door. Kakashi pulled it open and they stumbled out into the hall. The taller man stopped dead in his tracks, and Atsuko had to peak around him to see what she prayed was not a murder scene. 

The boys were no longer seated at the kitchen table, this sent another wave of confused panic through her. Then, Kakashi elbowed her and pointed to the living room. As soon as her eyes landed on the sight, a grin spread across her face. Sasuke was stretched out on the couch on his side, one arm wrapped over his eyes as he slept soundly, chest rising and falling slowly. His other arm hung off the couch, and under his outstretched hand was Yami, curled up in a ball and sleeping peacefully on a stretch of orange fabric. After a second, she realized that orange fabric was Naruto, flat on his back on the rug and snoring softly, an arm behind his head to form a makeshift pillow. The low light from the setting sun peaked in through the windows, casting shadows and reflecting off the dust particles in the air. With this image, her heart was so stuffed she almost couldn’t bare to look at it for another moment. 

Kakashi chuckled a little, quietly as not to wake the sleeping boys, and Atsuko followed suit. She pressed against his back, her arms coming up to wrap around his torso as she continued to watch Sasuke and Naruto nap almost side by side. She could imagine there was an argument about who was getting the coach and who was getting the floor. Or rather, Sasuke had taken the couch and refused to move, Naruto too full of food and tired to really care had flopped down on the floor. 

“Oh, for… Lord Yami even likes Naruto more than he likes me…”

Kakashi finally spoke up, whisper coming out in a hiss has he dropped his head forward in defeat. Atsuko chuckled against his back, hands splaying on his front and sliding up under his vest a little. 

“If you didn’t reek like a dog 24/7 I’m sure he’d like you too.”

She teased, pressing a kiss to the space between his shoulders. She felt him shake his head in response. 

“No. It’s more than that. That cat is either the devil or he has been sent here to test me, specifically. I can see the hatred in his eyes."

He responded, tone overly dramatic as she was sure he was glaring daggers at the happily sleeping ball of black fur. As if on queue, Yami stretched out on Naruto’s torso, mouth opening in a cute yawn before he curled back up into an adorable little ball. 

“Yeah… the devil. Full of hatred. Definitely.”

She replied sarcastically, pulling away from his back after her hands gave him a final pat on the chest. 

“It’s getting dark… think we should just let Naruto stay the night?”

She asked, still unable to pull her eyes from the scene in front of her as she stepped forward to stand beside him now. Kakashi hummed in response, 

“You take Sasuke to his bed and I’ll move Naruto to the couch?” 

He suggested and Atsuko nodded after a few seconds, moving forward and managing to maneuver between the two boys. She ducked and lifted Sasuke up into her arms, cradling him and realizing this was going to take more effort than a few years ago. He wasn’t much heavier, but he was longer and more awkward to hold. Still, she managed to navigate around Naruto without stepping on him or dropping the sleeping boy. 

She pushed his bedroom door open with her foot, surprised to see that he was still soundly asleep in her arms. Atsuko laid Sasuke down on the bed gently, fussing with the covers until they were pulled over him. Not a few second later, Yami pranced into the room and hopped up onto the bed, finding his spot curled up next to Sasuke’s torso quickly. Just as Atsuko was about to pull away and leave the room, the boy stirred a little. His eyes opened lazily and he took in his surroundings before finally coming to rest on Atsuko’s face. 

“My room? When did I…?”

He asked and Atsuko shushed him, reaching out to push from hair away from his face, hand stopping its motions to rest on the top of his head. 

“I moved you. You and Naruto fell asleep in the living room and its been a long few weeks. Just get some good rest, okay?”

She said quietly, watching as Sasuke smacked his lips together a little and nodded, rolling over with his back to her and curling up on his side again. She smiled and dipped down, pressing a kiss to his temple before pulling back entirely to allow him to sleep. Watching him like this… small and seeming at peace. Such a beautiful boy with a massive heart that he hid from the world. He’d been through so much and still managed to fight every day. And every day he made her proud. That limitless potential and talent. The way he thought things through and considered everything before moving. Even if he wasn’t on track to becoming a talented Shinobi, he would still be her brilliant, caring, intuitive, ambitious son. No matter what he did, she would always love him. 

With that final thought, she exited his bedroom and shut the door softly behind her, a content smile on her face as Kakashi came down the hall, looking a little disheveled. She chuckled at his appearance and quirked a brow. 

“Naruto give you trouble?”

She asked, only getting a disheartened sigh in response as he pushed the door to their bedroom open and walked inside, flopping down on the bed face first. Atsuko followed close behind, shutting the door behind them as she moved to lay on her back next to him with a giggle. He rolled over as well and pulled the mask down from his face with a sigh. Atsuko took this opportunity to swing her leg over his hips, straddling him quickly. His hands found their rightful place on her hips quickly, rubbing small circles and giving her a lazy smile. 

“I’ve missed you so much…”

She said lowly, her hands moving to unzip his vest so she could press her palms against his chest. 

“I missed you too… missed this…”

Kakashi replied, as his hands massaged their way up and down her torso, squeezing and gripping her muscles. Atsuko hummed in response, the feeling of his hands on her again for the first time in weeks satisfying some hunger she hadn’t even known was there. She leaned down, hands still trapped between them, and ghosted her lips over his, the barely there touch sending sparks through her nerves like little stings of static electricity. With her eyes still open, she held his gaze, watching it go from lazy to lustful in the literal blink of an eye. 

“Tease.”

Kakashi breathed against her lips, his hot breathing fanning her face and making those nerves tingle again. Atsuko only giggled in response and finally pressed their lips together, quick and hungry. She quickly found herself lost in the kiss, chest pressing against his tightly like she’d never be able to get close enough. Kakashi had sucked her bottom lip into his mouth, teeth digging into the flesh slowly and causing Atsuko to let out a groan at the sensation. Over the years, she’d gotten to know him inside and out. She could map his scars from memory alone. She had all but memorized the way his muscles moved under his skin, tightening and relaxing against her touch. When his teeth sank into her bottom lip, she could feel the chipped tooth on the bottom row, scraping in a slightly different way from the others. She would know him by touch alone. Blind and deaf. She would know him by the way the muscles of his neck melted into his shoulders. By the feeling of the long scar over his eye. 

Even though she’d become accustomed to all of these things, every time he kissed her like this, passionate and deep, it felt like the first time. After a few moments, the air between them became a little too thick to breathe, so she reluctantly pulled away, sitting back up to tower over him. They both caught their breath, Atsuko letting out a couple giggles at the butterflies in her stomach that he breathed life into every time his lips touched hers. Her hands wandered up his thinly clad chest against, just feeling the warmth of him through the fabric. When her gaze met his again, he was smiling softly, eyes hooded. 

“You know, Kakashi, there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time…”

Atsuko hummed as she stared down at him. So beautiful with his dark, expressive, eyes and slightly swollen mouth. The little mole right under his bottom lip had become one of her favorite things about him. It was so endearing and she was the only one who ever got to see it. 

“Hmmm… what’s that?”

He asked, voice a little hoarse from the lust that still ran as an undercurrent, humming just below the surface of his skin. Atsuko made eye contact with him again, eyes fluttering away from where she been staring at the harsh line of his jaw. She grinned. 

“I think I have a crush on you.”

She stated, an innocent lilt in her voice before she started to giggle and leaned back down to place some chaste kisses to his lips. Kakashi chuckled in return, one of his hands coming up to cup the back of her neck, pulling her close for a quicker kiss. 

“I’m glad to hear it… because if you didn’t have a crush on me, this would be really awkward…”

He hummed in response, Atsuko barely registering his hand wiggling down between them to route around in his pocket. He release his grip on the back of her neck and brought the other hand up to her line of sight between them, fist tightly closed around something. Atsuko sat back up again, tilting her head to the side in confusion and furrowing her brow.

“Did you get me something?”

She asked curiously, not even really considering his words, just watching as his fingers slowly unfurled and revealed… a little black box. Her heart stopped immediately, all the air pushed from her lungs in a violent gasp. Her wide eyes darted back to his, watching as he chuckled a little at her shocked expression. 

“Kakashi? Is that-“

Atsuko started, but he cut her off quickly, the free hand coming up to press a finger to her mouth in a demand for her to be silent. She took the order and swallowed hard against the lump in throat. 

“I couldn’t think of the right way to do this… you know when it comes to romance, I’m not exactly the best. Or the flashiest… but I’ve had this ring for months. Burning a hole in my pocket… Then, when you were seeing us off the other morning, you told Naruto I was your boyfriend and it… it didn’t feel right. But I couldn’t figure out why it made me so uncomfortable. Then after what happened with Zabuza, I was so ready to get back home. To get back to you. To sleep in our bed… I’ve never really felt like that on a mission before. And when we were walking back, I realized why you calling me your boyfriend made me so nauseous… its because its more than that. Has been for a while. So I decided now was the perfect time because the next time someone asks what I am to you, I’d like for you to call me your husband.”

Kakashi finally finished his speech by reaching over and popping open the little black ring case. Inside stood a gorgeously simple ring with a small diamond, perfect and unassuming. Atsuko’s heart was quite literally in her throat and small tears were streaking down her cheeks. She had expected this for a while, but now that it was actually happening, she was so overcome with emotion she didn’t know how to respond. She found herself just staring at the ring in stunned silence, eyes wide as she struggled to organize her thoughts. Not 30 minutes ago he had been working her through a panic attack, and now he was proposing. 

“Will you marry me?”

Kakashi asked, finally spitting out the cliche question asked a thousand different times by a thousand different men. But when Atsuko heard the words come out of his mouth, it was like she was hearing them for the first time in her life. A grin broke across her face and she immediately dropped forward again, pressing a sloppy kiss to his mouth as her arms wormed around his neck. He returned the kisses, both of them all giggles and smiles. 

After a second, Atsuko pulled away and pressed their foreheads together, staring lovingly into his eyes. 

“That’s a yes, I assume?”

He asked, and Atsuko nodded against his forehead, grinning impossibly wider. 

“Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a longer one! But I wanted to get the proposal taken care of this chapter because this is going to be one of the last moment of true fluff you're going to see for a long time. I finally have the rest of the chapters planned out perfectly, so hopefully the writers block stays away! 
> 
> I also love making playlists, so if any of you are interested I made a playlist specifically for Atsuko (a mix of things i thing she would listen to and songs that remind me of her) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4EDZjiLxm4cE7gwofiBxJc?si=yBQcOBblSiCu6_rRLM4ccA
> 
> Again, let me know what you thought of the chapter!


	15. Challengers and Ass-Kickings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is genuinely filler. Just wanted to get some of these interactions in before shit hits the fan. Enjoy the literal last fluff you will see for a looooong time. Next chapter is the Chunin Exams and attack on the Hidden Leaf!

Atsuko was moving through the home quickly, hands fussing with her hair as she pulled bobby pins from between her lips to secure the half knot in place. When she’d freed the last one from her mouth she called over her shoulder. 

“Sasuke! Grab my bag from my bed please and put it on the table.”

Followed by a monotoned, 

“Yeah.”

From down the hall. She sighed as she passed by the closed bathroom door yet again, hearing the water still running from the other side. She pounded on the door, already fiddling with the doorknob. 

“Kakashi, I can’t wait any longer. I’m coming in.”

She called, pushing the door open and quickly closing it behind her, only to be met with a wall of hot steam. Letting out another sigh she flicked on the fan, waiting for some of the mist to disperse so she could see well enough to wipe the fog from the mirror. 

“Just couldn’t resist, huh? Had to come in here and join me~”

Came a coo from behind the shower curtain. Atsuko snorted in response, looking over and just barely making out the dark silhouette of her naked fiancé through the curtain. She’d wanted to snap back some smart assed retort immediately, but just the sight of the outline of his long, lean, body made her throb slightly. She allowed herself to watch for a moment more, noticing the shadows of his arms coming up as his hands went to rinse his hair. This movement only served to exaggerate the contours of his body. Her eyes drifted over the curve of his lower back and ass, the long line of his torso that winded up to his neck, and, with his head tilted back to allow the water to run through his hair, the sharp line of his jaw. She swallowed hard and tried to dispel the thoughts, turning to face the mirror again as she hurriedly dug through her makeup drawer.

“Now… I mean this in the nicest way possible, dear… Fuck you.”

She replied, listening as the man laughed deep from his chest, the sound loud as it echoed off the linoleum. Atsuko couldn’t stop the chuckle that bubbled in her chest either as she hurriedly moved to apply a little foundation. 

“You know, getting ready wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass in the mornings if one of us would just take a shower in the evenings.”

She reminded him, squirting a little beige colored liquid onto the makeup sponge she was currently wielding. 

“Or, and hear me out… we could just shower together. Save time /and/ water.”

Came Kakashi’s smooth reply, voice low and teasing. Atsuko snorted again as she moved on to the next step of her routine, fluffing a little powder onto her face. 

“That’s the corniest thing you’ve ever said. And don’t forget, its your fault we’re running late, waking me up like that… I’m not complaining, but what the hell has gotten into you recently?”  
She asked, moving on to blush her nose and cheeks. Atsuko had woken up early this morning to the glorious sight of Kakashi’s head between her legs. He’d then proceeded to refuse to allow her to leave the bed until they were both a sweaty, panting, mess. Typically, Atsuko was the one with the high sex drive. Kakashi never complained or denied her, but she was almost always the one to initiate. However, over the last few weeks, he had been absolutely insatiable. Morning sex, evening sex, slipping a hand into her pants in public. It was like he couldn’t keep his hands off her and she could never tell him no, even when it was inconvenient or downright risky. 

Kakashi chuckled from behind her. She heard the water shut off and the shower curtain slide open. It took all of her strength to not turn and ogle him as he dried himself off, knowing it would start something they most definitely did not have the time to finish. She was busying herself with eyeliner when she felt him come up behind her, pressing his towel covered waist against her backside, his strong arms wrapping around her torso as his head ducked down to rest on her shoulder. 

“I don’t know… something about seeing you wearing that ring. It’s like you’re all mine now.”

He breathed against her ear, droplets of water falling from his hair onto her collarbone. Involuntarily, Atsuko shuddered, and she had to pull the eyeliner pencil away from her eye quickly as not to mess up her hard work. Her eyes fluttered shut and she leaned back against him, the steam from the shower and the wet heat of him against her backside seeping into her muscles and making her go pliant. 

“I’ve been all yours for a long time now, ‘Kashi…”

She sighed out, melting back against him further when he hummed and started pressing gentle kisses along the side of her neck. Her head was filling with a lustful fog quickly, knees buckling ever so slightly when he grazed the sensitive spot behind her ear. The hands wrapped around her torso were working their way upwards, cupping her breasts through her tight turtle neck… Kakashi had this way of just enveloping her whole. When he touched her… kissed her… it was like the ground fell out from under her and she was floating in a void, the only grounding connection to reality the feeling of his hands and lips on her skin… 

Just as she was about to give in to his advances yet again, securing their tardiness even further, there was an impatient knock on the door. Atsuko’s head snapped up at the sound and Kakashi’s hands retreated from her body in a flash, leaving her feeling a little dizzy and dissatisfied. She blinked slowly, trying to slow her pulse as she heard a voice ring out from the other side of the door. 

“Come on! We’re gonna be late! The application deadline is at 3.”

Sasuke called, attitude and exasperation clear in his tone. Atsuko sighed, hands going down to grip the edge of the sink, a little aggravated at being interrupted but knowing it was for the best. Kakashi just chuckled, stuttering breath blowing across her shoulder. He placed a single kiss to her temple and pulled away fully. 

“Later.”He promised, before snatching his mask from the towel rack and tugging to down over his face. They made eye contact in the mirror and he threw her a wink before yanking the door open, rushing past Sasuke with the towel secured around his waist as he retreated to their bedroom to get dressed. Atsuko let out a gentle sigh and looked down at where Sasuke stood, wide eyed and staring down the hall where Kakashi had gone. He turned to face her, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide in some combination of disbelief and anger. 

“Does he seriously shower with that mask on?!”

——————————————————————————-

When Kakashi had told Atsuko that he had recommended Team 7 for the Chunin Exams, he told her he had expected her to be uneasy. But, surprisingly, she’d agreed with his assessment immediately. She knew that Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura were all very capable of passing the exams, having gotten to tag along on a couple missions with them after their mission to the Land of Waves. Sasuke was not just naturally talented, getting better at using his Sharingan every day, but he was analytical to a degree. Able to discern attack patterns and determine formations quickly. He was the obvious leader of the group. Naruto had this never ending reserve of stamina, somehow managing to come back stronger and more determined every time he was knocked down. Sasuke’s intellectual fighting skill combined with Naruto’s sheer force of will was something truly awesome to witness in battle. Then there was Sakura. The young girl was masterful in her chakra control and she managed to provide both boys with an encouraging backbone, the literal glue holding the squad together. She would no doubt make a wonderful Medical-nin once she was in a position to hone that ability. 

So, when Kakashi had told her about his plan to nominate them for the Chunin Exams, she’d actually found herself excited at the prospect of watching the three Genin triumph. She was proud of all three of them, having gotten to spend more personal time with them while they were under Kakashi’s care, and could hardly wait for them to show everyone exactly what they were capable of. That’s how they’d ended up here, approaching the exam site so the squad could submit their applications. 

“Okay. Kakashi and I will wait outside. Once you’ve submitted the applications and checked in, I promised I would buy everyone lunch.”

Atsuko reminded them as they came up on the front doors of the building. Kakashi was hovering closely behind her at the back of the group. Something she noticed he did quite often when they were with Team 7. It was like he unconsciously put himself in the back of the group to watch over them, or protect them from a surprise attack. Naruto turned to give her that toothy grin and a thumbs up. Sakura gave a curt nod, and Sasuke just continued to walk with his back to her, waving lazily over his shoulder to let her at least know he’d heard her. As they all entered the building, she and Kakashi moved to lean against the wall beside the entrance door. 

“You think they’ll see through the Genjutsu on the second floor?”

She asked quietly, arms crossing under her chest. Kakashi hummed and nodded, pulling the book he’d been reading from his vest pocket and flipping it open to a page in the middle. 

“Yeah. Sasuke and Sakura will. They already passed Iruka’s little test too.”

He reminded her, and she nodded in agreement, kicking a foot up to support herself as she leaned against the wall and looked out across grounds in front of the building, scanning. 

“Hmm. He worries too much.”

She replied, raising an eyebrow as Kakashi chuckled next to her. He lowered his book and turned his head to give her a questioning expression. 

“Iruka worries too much? This coming from the momma bear who could barely handle the idea of Sasuke getting into a fight just a few months ago?”

He teased, causing Atsuko to huff and point her nose upwards, facing away from him. 

“Oh, whatever. That was before I had the opportunity to see them in action. I know better now. They-“

Kakashi interrupted her, pointing out her bias quickly.

“By they, you mean Sasuke.”

Atsuko huffed again and rolled her eyes. 

“Fine, yes. Sasuke is clearly very capable of handling himself in a fight. Now that I’ve seen that, I don’t worry as much and I have no doubt he will do well during the exams.”

Kakashi just chuckled again, smiling down at her and using his shoulder to bump hers in a sign of teasing. She turned her face up to look at him, scowling lightly and he winced, pulling away to look back ahead. 

“You’re starting to look like him, ya know, glaring at me like that.”

He commented, feigning a shudder. Atsuko let the scowl fall and dropped her head back with a boisterous laugh, her hand coming up to lightly smack him in the chest.

“Asshole.”

She muttered between laughs, hearing his soft chuckle from beside her. They spent the next 15 minutes in content silence. Kakashi reading his book and Atsuko monitoring the grounds, taking note of the different groups that entered and exited the building. After a moment of doing this, she noticed a couple familiar faces come out through the exit door to her left. 

“Neji, Tenten!”

She called, waving a little as the two genin snapped their heads in her direction. The young girl with her brown hair wrapped up in two tight buns smiled back at her and waved, quickly approaching with Neji in tow. She’d went on a mission with Gai’s team a few months back while Kakashi and the rest of Team 7 were gone on their own. They were an extremely talented group. Neji was part of the Hyuga clan and his Byakugan rivaled even the Sharingan, able to see an opponents Chakra network and disable it with their Gentle Fist technique. Tenten specialized in weapons and ninjutsu, the scrolls she carried able to summon wave after wave of artillery. If they were here to apply for the Chunin exams, Team 7 would definitely have some solid competition. 

“Hey, Atsuko-sensei! Are you helping with the Chunin Exams?”

Tenten asked as they drew close enough to speak, her head tilted to the side in question. Neji remained silent behind her, arms crossed and indignant as ever. Atsuko smiled in response and nodded. 

“Yes, I am. But that’s not why I’m here today. This is my husband, Kakashi. His team is inside submitting their applications.”

She gestured to her right where the silver haired man leaned. He perked up a little and pulled his nose from his book at her introducing him. They’d agreed a while back that there was no way to really know when they’d be able to have an official wedding, not having the time or money to plan one at the moment. So they’d just agreed to referring to each other by those titles. Husband. Wife. Because the only thing standing in the way was a ceremony and some paperwork. Still, it seemed like he was shocked every time she said it. 

Tenten peered around Atsuko to look at Kakashi who gave a lazy wave at the introduction. 

“Are you… Kakashi of the Sharingan? The one Gai-sensei is always talking about?”

She asked, eyes squinted as she looked the man over and Kakashi just sighed, dropping his hand to his side and nodding. 

“Yeah, that’s me.”

He murmured, causing Atsuko to chuckle a little. She was surprised the Genin on Gai’s team had never actually seen Kakashi… though that may have been entirely intentional on Kakashi’s part. There was a lull of silence and Atsuko decided to steer the conversation away from her embarrassed husband. She peaked past Tenten to where Neji was standing, arms still crossed and seeming uninterested in the conversation. The little time she’d spent with them, he’d always reminded her of Sasuke a little. Talented and hateful as all hell at times.

“How are you, Neji?”

She asked softly, quirking a brow. Now that she took a look at him, he actually seemed to be more agitated than normal. He turned to face her momentarily before turning his cheek back towards her and shrugging. 

“Fine.”

He replied, dismissing her completely. Her eyebrows raised a little as she turned her attention back to Tenten. He was definitely upset by something. During their mission, she and Neji had actually gotten along really well, likely because of the years she’d spent dealing with Sasuke’s attitude. They had even built up just a hint of banter by the time they’d gone their separate ways, so for him to completely blow her off was a little jarring. 

“Okay… I assume you guys are here to apply for the Chunin exams. Where’s Lee, by the way?”

Atsuko asked, looking at Tenten with a quirked brow. The girl pouted a little and shrugged, looking over her shoulder and around the area a little. 

“We just turned in our applications… but Lee said there was something he had to take care of…”

Atusko hummed in response and turned back to look at Kakashi, only to find him peering around the wall and through the glass windows of the front door. Her brows furrowed as she wondered what the hell he was looking at. 

“Think I found him.”

Was all Kakashi had to say for Tenten and Neji to brush past her to peer through the window themselves, eyes going a little wide. Atsuko joined the group to see what exactly was happening, taking a second to fully register the scene in front of her. Standing in the middle of the entrance hall was Lee, clad in his typical green jumpsuit and orange leg warmers, and… 

“Sasuke?”

She questioned quietly, squinting to see the scene a little more clearly. They looked like they were talking… but both Lee and Sasuke’s postures were squared off, ready to fight. She barely registered Neji speaking up beside her. 

“You know the Uchiha?”

He questioned, sounding a little disgusted by the name. Immediately her head snapped to the side, fixing him with a glare to let him know his tone was completely out of line. Still, he returned the glare, eyebrows furrowed and pale, lavender, eyes unreadable. 

“The ‘Uchiha’ is my son.” 

She spat back, deciding in this moment that she was not entirely above fighting a child. Neji only scoffed and turned back to look at what was happening inside. Atsuko swallowed the lump in her throat and did the same, but only seeing that they were still standing and talking. 

“I can’t hear…”

She mumbled, and Kakashi looked back at her over her shoulder. They made eye contact and gave each other a nod in the affirmative before forming a hand sign and disappearing in a puff of smoke. 

With their quick change in location, she and Kakashi were now huddled in a dark corner of the large entrance room, relaxing and blending in with the wooden walls to the best of their abilities. None of the Genin had noticed them yet, so Sasuke and Lee continued talking. From what Atsuko could gather, it seemed like Lee had challenged Sasuke in an attempt to prove himself, and Sasuke had accepted the challenge to prove his own prowess… this wasn’t going to end well. 

“I’m placing my bets on Sasuke.”

Kakashi whispered in her ear and Atsuko shook her head slowly in response. 

“I don’t think so… Lee can’t use Ninjutsu or Genjutsu… just like Gai, his specialty is Taijutsu and Sasuke just lacks a little more in that department. The kid is also insanely fast…”

She replied, unable to tear her eyes away from the scene in front of her. Up until this point it had just been Lee and Sasuke exchanging words with Sakura and Naruto standing to the side. Just when it looked like things were about to get started, Naruto stepped forward. 

“Hold it! I get him first… this weird-o is mine.”

He shouted, and Atsuko groaned internally. If she was so sure of Lee’s abilities that she would willingly bet against Sasuke, then she was absolutely positive that Naruto would get laid out quickly. As if she was witnessing her premonition come to life, Naruto attempted to rush Lee, only to be disposed of in the literal blink of an eye. Lee moved so fast it was almost a little hard for Atsuko to register. He knocked Naruto off of his feet quickly and then landed a powerful kick to the blonde boy’s stomach. Nartuo slid across the floor and came to a stop when he crashed into the back wall, dazed and barely conscious. Atsuko sucked in a pained breath through her teeth and Kakashi chuckled a little into her hair. 

“Can I change my bet?”

———————————————————————————

“I could see everything he was doing… he was just too fast for me to react.”

Sasuke stated from his spot beside Atsuko, walking with his hands planted in his pockets. They were all making their way to the restaurant the Genin had chosen to have lunch at. Naruto led the group with Kakashi and Sakura walking close behind him. She could barely hear him, babbling incessantly about how weird that Lee kid was and how he his sensei was even weirder than he was. Sasuke and Atsuko had fallen to the back of the pack, discussing his scrape with the other Genin. She hummed in response to his statement, eyes fixed on Kakashi’s back as she thought over what to tell him. 

“That’s probably my fault. Taijutsu is not my strongest point either, so my training may have been lacking a little in that department. Still, I could barely see Lee at all when he moved, my eyes just couldn’t keep up. The fact that yours did speaks to the power of your Sharingan.”

She replied, glancing down at the boy who now wore a pensive expression, like he was thinking of a way to use that to his advantage. She could almost hear the gears turning in his head. 

“Well, what good does it do if I know what he’s doing but I can’t stop it?”

Sasuke asked, a little self pity in his voice. Atsuko shook her head in response, pulling a hand from her own pocket to gently shove the boys shoulder. 

“Like I just said, being able to see what was happening will allow you to prepare for next time. For example, if you can track and understand his movements you might be able to use those moves yourself in a future fight. Or, if you were to ever fight Lee again, you could use those moves to fake him out a little. Throw him off his game by copying him.”

She suggested, listening as the boy hummed in reply as the puzzle pieces slotted together. It wasn’t quite that simple. He would have to train some more in Taijutsu, focus on building his own speed a little more. Still, it could all come in very handy. 

“Like Kakashi and Zabuza… His Sharingan allowed him to see and understand Zabuza’s hand signs… because he could almost figure out was Zabuza was going to do next, he copied him. So Zabuza was convinced that Kakashi could read his mind.”

Sasuke offered up, and Atsuko nodded in agreement, clicking her tongue and pointing a finger gun in his direction.

“Exactly. Knowledge is power, badass. The more you know and learn, the more you can twist it to your advantage. Don’t underestimate the power of psychological warfare, either.”

She reminded him. It was a lesson she’d taught him long ago during their Genjutsu training. Being able to discern the enemies emotions and knowledge were a powerful tool. If you could understand what motivated them or gauge how much they knew then they would be easier to manipulate and trick. For instance, if she had been the one facing Lee or someone like him, she could easily tell what his biggest motivators were. Mostly because he stated them rather clearly before the beginning of the fight. He wanted to prove himself. Prove that handwork beat out natural talent every time. The options were endless for a powerful, convincing, Genjutsu. 

Since that was her speciality, it would have been her go to in the fight. Let him get a blow or two in then, when he got close enough, infect his chakra with her own. Crafting a scenario in which she managed to turn the tables on him. Have him convinced her speed was greater than his own, turn his own moves around on him and perform them better than he had. The only issue with that plan was that she couldn’t track Lee’s movements as well as Sasuke’s Sharingan could, so she might not have been able to produce realistic moves. He may have seen through her trick and released himself from the jutsu. That’s why the Sharingan was so powerful when it came to Genjutsu. It allowed the wielders to monitor so much information and process it all quickly. 

“So, you took the Chunin Exams, right?”

Sasuke piped up from beside her, causing the battle simulation in her mind to boot down like a broken video game. Atsuko blinked a couple times and nodded slowly. 

“Hm. Yeah. It was different back then though. We were at war. So all of us kids got pushed through everything pretty quick. I made Chunin at 9. Kakashi was… 6, I believe? And, because of the war, Genin from other villages didn’t come either. But I believe it follows a similar format still.”

She mused, gnawing her bottom lip a little in thought as she tried to remember specific moments from her Chunin exam, finding it a little difficult to nail down details. She didn’t notice Sasuke staring between her and Kakashi, wide eyed and confused, until he spoke up again. 

“You were 9? Kakashi was /6/?!”

He questioned, a little bit of an irritated hiss in the last word. Atsuko turned to look at him, furrowing her brow in confusion until she saw the look of anger on the boys face. The realization hit her afterwards that the little factoid had probably made him feel inferior in some way. 

“Easy, badass. Like I said, it was a different time. We were shipped off to war after that. Kids taking the frontlines because we had lost too many of our adult Shinobi in battle. I wasn’t much younger than you are now. And Kakashi was a different case entirely. He’s a genius, kid. Don’t compare yourself to us.”

She warned, waving off his glare with the flick of her wrist. She felt him turn his gaze away from her, but he only directed it at the ground as he continued to sulk. The irate energy that rolled off of him was poignant and transferable, making her a little agitated in turn at the negativity. With a sigh, she reached out and grabbed the boys thin shoulder, stopping him from continuing to walk. She did the same and turned to face him, noticing Kakashi out of the corner of her eye, stopping and looking back with a quirked brow, but she just waved at him to continue walking ahead. 

“Alright, out with it. No sulking, you know I hate that.”

Atsuko stated, staring down at the top of his head expectantly. She knew why he was upset, but she always wanted him to say it himself. To explain his feelings before she pushed her assumptions or observations on him. Likely, he felt a little slighted by her telling him that she and Kakashi had been very young when they made Chunin. He compared himself to them and felt like he wasn’t progressing quickly enough. Then, on top of that, she’d called Kakashi a genius and instructed Sasuke not to compare himself to the older man. The underlying message there being that Kakashi was just better than him and always had been. She probably could have chosen her words a little more carefully. 

Sasuke sighed in response, dropping his head back this time and rolling his eyes as his arms came to cross over his chest. Defensive with his guard up. She’d pointed out that habit to him once before, so when they finally made eye contact, she quirked a brow and nodded her chin towards his arms. He let out another sigh and dropped them back to his sides, sliding them into his pockets. 

“Just makes me feel like I’m not progressing quick enough.”

He muttered out, jaw clenched tightly. Atsuko reached a hand out to run a thumb over the tense muscle, a silent gesture to relax. Another sigh from the boy and he did so reluctantly. 

“You’re progressing beautifully, so keep that in mind. What Kakashi and I did at that young of an age… no one should ever have to do. We weren’t really ready, but we had to be. And what I said about Kakashi being a genius… that’s true and you need to understand that sometimes people are just born with an advantage, so I won’t apologize for that… However, you are brilliant in your own right. You’re going to kill this exam and get even stronger in the process.”She assured him, finishing her little speech by placing a hand on the top of his head. Sasuke had relaxed a little more as she spoke and he gave an affirmative nod when she was done talking. 

“Yeah. I am.”

He confirmed, scowl slowly turning to a look of determination, eyes narrowed like he was locked on target and a smirk tugging at his lips. Atsuko grinned in response, dropping her arm to wrap around his shoulders and tug him to her side. He was taller now, head reaching her shoulder.   
“Hell yeah, you are. Unless Lee kicks your ass again.”

She teased through a chuckle, feeling Sasuke bump her with his shoulder and mutter,

“Shut up…”

Before chuckling a little himself. His hands slid back into their home in his pockets, but he didn’t pull away from her grasp and they walked with her arm over his shoulders the whole way to the restaurant.


	16. Resentments and Curse Marks

“There’s still no sign of the Uchiha boy… think he’ll have to forfeit the match?”

  
  
Came a whisper from just over Atsuko’s shoulder and she had to grit her teeth to maintain her composure. Of course Sasuke and Kakashi would get here in time… right? If they didn’t she would hunt them down herself and kill them both, completely at her wits end with the entire situation. By this time, the sun was high in the sky and they had already pushed back Sasuke and Gaara’s match several times. Though it had been cathartic to watch Naruto beat Neji, and Shikarmaru’s match against the girl from the Hidden Sand had been a rollercoaster, it was hardly enough to distract her from the sinking feeling in her stomach. It wasn’t a particularly warm day, but she was still sweating bullets as the whispers around her grew to a deafening roar. The discomfort on her face must have been visible because Sakura spoke up from her seat beside Atsuko.

“I know they’ll make it, Atsuko-sensei. Sasuke wouldn’t miss this for anything.”

She said, causing the older woman to turn and look down at her, eyes a little glassy as she tried to focus on the pink haired girls words. Sakura was wearing this look of confidence, fist clenched in her lap and brow furrowed in determination. However, Atsuko noticed the worry in her eyes. The entire ordeal was difficult for Sakura as well, she realized. After their experience in the Forest of Death… it was clear that her dedication and concern for Sasuke had grown exponentially. Atsuko let out a gentle sigh in response, patting the girls knee reassuringly as she turned back to stare at the empty match grounds.

“Thank you, Sakura… I hope you’re right.”

She replied, pulling her hand back to pick at the skin on her nails, already abused and bloody. In all honesty, she didn’t give two fucks if Sasuke made it on time for the match. If he missed out on the promotion he would just have to take the exams again… The fear that weighed heavily in her heart was likely the same one Sakura was trying to hide. She hadn’t seen Sasuke or Kakashi in a /month/. After Sasuke’s preliminary match, everything had fallen apart and, more so than anything, Atsuko was genuinely fearful for his safety.

_“A curse mark…?”_

_Atsuko muttered under her breath as she watched Sasuke from the sidelines, gnawing on her bottom lip. It was taking everything in her power to not run out and stop the match… she was focusing so hard on steadying her breathing that the sounds of punches landing and feet skidding across the floor turned to white noise._

_Team 7 had been attacked during the second phase of the exams in the Forest of Death. No one had known the extent of the attack at the time, but once she had finally laid eyes on Sasuke after they completed the course, she’d wanted to pull him immediately. He was obviously hurt and extremely fatigued, just barely standing, and something was clearly wrong with his shoulder as well._

_She’d made her wishes known to Kakashi, but he’d talked her down from making a scene. He’d told her it was Sasuke’s decision and, if he felt like he could keep going, then she should let him try his hardest. Hayate wouldn’t allow the fight to go past the point of no return and the worst that would happen is Sasuke would be mildly injured. As he had whispered these things in her ear, she’d caught Sasuke’s eye from across the room. He was glaring, shaking his head at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. Even during their brief eye contact, he winced and reach up to grasp at his shoulder. The pained expression on his face had almost been enough for her to run forward and force him from the room. The only thing that had stopped her from doing just that was Kakashi’s iron tight grip on her wrist._

_“Let him do it.”_

_  
  
He’d commanded, causing her to look over at him with nothing but contempt. Only to find him staring straight ahead at Sasuke while the boy argued with Sakura over something they could not hear. Atsuko knew that she shouldn’t be so over protective, and over the last few months she’d gotten better about fretting over the boy so much… but this was different. She knew something was seriously wrong, the sense of impending doom burrowing deep into her bones. So deep that it made her second guess herself. Instead of speaking up, she’d just jerked her wrist out of Kakashi’s grasp with a huff, turning back to face forward as well, arms crossed and completely livid._

_Now, she was forced to do nothing but watch as the burning lines crawled up Sasuke’s neck and face. He was midair behind his opponent, frozen in pain as the curse mark spread and caused him to gasp out in agony. Her body moved before she had anytime to process what was happening, but just as she was about to step off the platform and into the ring, Kakashi gripped her arm tightly enough to bruise._

_“Stop. Watch.”_

_He instructed in a hushed voice. Atsuko’s lip snarled up a little at his interference again, her jaw clenching so tightly it hurt. Clearly that attack in the Forrest of Death had been more serious than she thought. Sasuke had a curse mark on his neck for fucks sake! She looked around in a panic, to see if anyone else had noticed that change. Iruka. Lord Third. Naruto and Sakura. They all had! So why the hell was no one stepping in to stop the fight?!_

_“You knew?”_

_She hissed back at Kakashi, glaring at him over her shoulder for a brief moment before quickly turning her eyes back to Sasuke._

_“Yes. Now watch.”_

_He commanded again, but she didn’t need his guidance this time. She was already staring at Sasuke, wide eyed as she watched him grunt in pain and the curse mark lines receded from his neck and face. A cold sweat broke across her forehead and her heart pounded loudly in her ears. He’d overcome a curse mark? Stopped it from taking over mid-fight, even in his already weakened state? Atsuko’s mind was overflowing with questions and emotion, but at the same time she was so stunned everything had fallen silent, including her mind. She couldn’t grasp a single thought, feet rooted to the earth beneath her as her breathing grew faster._

_She barely registered Sasuke maintaining the upper hand in the fight, kicking his opponent mid air and… using one of Rock Lee’s moves? The other ninja was falling quickly back to the ground, mocking Sasuke as he approached the unforgiving concrete. Then, Sasuke managed a spin kick, bringing the heel of his foot down on the other Genin’s stomach, effectively slamming him into the ground and rendering him unconscious._

_“Lion’s Barrage!”_

_Sasuke yelled, cutting through Atsuko’s dazed fog of dismay. Still, all other conversation sounded like a muddled tower of babel. She vaguely heard Hayate declare Sasuke the winner…_ _The boy collapsed on the ground, still sitting upright and wearing that cocky grin. Atsuko’s body moved of its own accord again, immediately heading straight for him. But just as he was about to fall flat on his back, Kakashi appeared behind him, lending his knee for support._

After the match, Atsuko had gone with Kakashi to try to seal the curse mark. She’d finally realized that Orochimaru had put the mark on Sasuke, and he had approached them during the sealing process. The chills that she’d gotten just being in the same room with that man was unlike anything she’d ever felt… even still, she could feel the fear slipping down her back, slow and thick like molasses as it made a home in her bones. Just behind that was a fury so hot it nearly melted the icy fear. What he’d done to Sasuke on top of her knowing what he’d done to Yamato as a child… He disgusted her in every sense of the word and if it hadn’t been for that fact that she was insanely outclassed, she would have liked to rip his head off with her bare hands.

After the curse mark was sealed, Sasuke was immediately admitted to the hospital to tend to his injuries and monitor the curse marks effect on his body. That’s when Kakashi had approached her about training Sasuke by himself for the upcoming match at the final stage of the Chunin Exams. Atsuko hadn’t wanted to hear at first. She was of the honest opinion that he shouldn’t participate in the final round at all, considering they still didn’t know what Orochimaru had planned when he’d placed that curse mark on Sasuke. And there was no guarantee that it wouldn’t spread again during his fight, even with the seal. On top of that, if anyone should get to train him it should be her. Sasuke was entrusted to her care and she’d been his teacher for four years, not just a few months like Kakashi.

However, Kakashi wouldn’t budge. He argued that he could teach Sasuke more than just Genjutsu and this particular jab had rendered her a little speechless. Atsuko eventually conceded, but only because she knew Sasuke wouldn’t take her advice and drop out of the exams. If he was dead-set on continuing forward, then she figured Kakashi might as well prepare him… he was a genius after all. Honestly, the entire situation had left a bad taste in her mouth. Not only was she concerned for Sasuke’s wellbeing, but on top of that she felt as she’d been disrespected at every turn by Kakashi. He’d known about the curse mark before the preliminary match had started and intentionally hid it from her. Then, he’d slighted her training abilities and completely disregarded her arguments that Sasuke shouldn’t continue forward with his fight with Gaara.

Now, as she sat tearing at the skin around her fingernails, she felt those resentments bubbling forth again. Even if they made it back in time and Sasuke made it out of this unscathed, Kakashi was going to hear her. They’d never really fought before, but this was a long time coming. He’d run off with her son and neither of them had contacted her in a month. The entire situation had made her feel like a bystander in her own life. The anger and frustration and general, indescribable, distress had been sitting in the pit of her stomach for a month. Making itself known in the form of bile that rose in her throat, burning and acidic. Atsuko’s leg started to bounce quickly and she brought up her hand to chew on the nail on her ring finger, absentminded as the taste of iron filled her mouth. Her thoughts had stopped racing as much, only leaving room for raw anxiety and emotion to flood her mind and body. The whispers died down again as her vision narrowed, black consuming the outer rings of her field of vision. Her chest was rising and falling rapidly, but she couldn’t concentrate long enough to care.

Suddenly, there was a hand on her shoulder. Her head spun quickly, making eye contact with the person the hand was attached to, a murderous glare on her face and a little blood on her bottom lip. Yamato tensed at the expression, immediately pulling his hand back from her shoulder and furrowing his brows in concern, honestly looking more than a little hurt at the expression she’d fixed him with. When Atsuko realized who it was, her leg stopped bouncing and her face relaxed.

“Fuck… sorry, Yamato… just uh… wasn’t expecting someone to grab me like that.”

  
  
She apologized, glancing back at the still empty match grounds and then over at where Sakura was seated next to her. The pink haired girl was wearing an expression of pure shock, eyes wide and mouth parted slightly as she met Atsuko’s glance. Sakura had clearly been staring at her, unsure of how to snap her out of the trance she’d been previously locked in. This realization caused Atsuko to sigh again, dropping her head forward as a wave of sadness rolled over her quickly.

“I’m sorry, Sakura. Both of you. Fuck, I’m just so… frustrated by all of this.”

  
  
She mumbled out, feeling Yamato sit down on the other side of her as he draped a thick arm over her shoulders. This time, she welcomed the touch, leaning into his side a little as he rubbed soothing circles on her upper arm.

“It’s okay. We understand, right Sakura?”

  
  
Yamato asked, and Atsuko couldn’t see the motion but she felt Sakura nod her head quickly.

“Yeah, Atsuko-sensei. I’m really worried about Sasuke too…”

  
  
She assured, and Atsuko had to bite her tongue again as the bile rose. This time, more figurative than literal. The words that rose in her head felt like they belong to someone else, a much more bitter and hateful woman. But still, they rang out. She almost snapped at Sakura about how she didn’t know the definition of worry. Atsuko was worried about Sasuke on a different level. He was her family. Her SON. Sakura’s concern for her little childhood crush couldn’t compare. She hardly even knew him.

As soon as the thoughts rang out, she silenced them. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto had been through quite a lot together and it wasn’t fair for her to compare her feelings to the young girls. She let out a sigh through her nose, taking another deep inhale, holding for a few seconds, and exhaling slowly through her mouth. She raised her head back up, but Yamato’s arm remained around her shoulders. Slowly, the sounds of the stadium came back as she turned her ears outward again. The buzz of idle chatter, bits and pieces of conversations about the ‘Uchiha boy’, the sound of birds passing by overhead of the arena, and the light breeze that blew through. She took a couple more steadying breaths and opened her eyes, nodding.

“Thank you both. I know I’ve been scary and difficult to deal with this past month. But having you two around has helped immensely.”

  
  
She let them know, turning slightly to give Yamato a soft smile. He nodded in return, slowly dropping his arm from her shoulders and giving her back a couple reassuring rubs. Then she turned her attention to Sakura, catching the way the girls eyes lingered on Yamato’s hand on her back before they snapped to meet her gaze. The pink haired girl blushed lightly and nodded in the affirmative as well.

“Everything will be fine when Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei get here!”

She replied, smiling and squeezing her eyes shut. Atsuko couldn’t tell if that was blind optimism or if she was covering her real feelings again. Still, she decided to let sleeping dogs lie and turned back ahead to look at the empty field once again. By this point, the crowd was growing restless. Heckling and booing and demanding that the Uchiha boy show up, though Atsuko couldn’t really discern the point of the uproar. He would either be there in time or not.

Genma was the proctor for this phase of the exam, and she watched as he pulled out a stopwatch, staring at its face intently for several seconds. It seemed like they were giving Sasuke a time limit. If he didn’t show up by a specific time then he would forfeit the match to Gaara. She took another deep breath, letting it out slowly to prevent from losing her temper or letting her nerves run wild again. Yamato’s hand had returned to the small of her back in an instant, and she turned to face him, giving a reassuring smile. He really was there for her at every turn. In the darkest moments of her life. He’d seen her at her absolute worst, but he still managed to give her an encouraging smile and those loving eyes…

Before she could delve too deeply into that thought, she heard Genma start to speak up, throwing his voice around the arena as the crowd fell silent. She turned her eyes back to watch him, seeing him slip the pocket watch back into his vest.

“Okay! That’s it! Since Sasuke Uchiha hasn’t arrived during the allotted time-fram-“

He stopped mid-sentence, and the whispers picked back up again. Right next to Genma, the wind in the center of the arena was picking up quickly, spinning and throwing around dirt and leaves. Like a tiny tornado. Atsuko’s eyes widened and she found her vision pigeonholed on that exact spot, holding her breath as the wind spun faster, only to slowly die down. When the debris cleared, it revealed two bodies standing back to back… Sasuke and Kakashi! As soon as the realization hit, she practically jumped from her seat as the shock ran through her body and forced her to stand upright. There was a split second of suspended silence as Sasuke and Kakashi came into view… Her heart pounded in her ears and that single second seemed to last an eternity as she stared down at them. Sasuke… he looked okay. Not hurt… his hair was longer, the bangs that usually framed his face falling well past his jawline now. Though he was still too far way for her to get a good look at him. Still, her heart skipped a beat as her chest grew impossibly tight. Just seeing Sasuke and having confirmation that he was okay… it flooded her with emotion.

Then, the entire arena erupted in cheers, the split second of calm and peace fading immediately as all the tension finally broke. Atsuko’s hands reached out to grip the railing in front of her, knuckles going white as she doubled over and pressed her forehead to the metal. A gasp worked its way from her throat and the tears began to flow quickly. She could hear Sakura cheering from beside her and could feel Yamato placing another reassuring hand on her back as he stood next to her. She yanked her head back up to look at the field again, grinning impossibly wide as the tears streamed her cheeks. Atsuko’s heart was pounding and she joined the excited crowd, clapping wildly and screaming,

“Hey, badass!”

At the top of her lungs. For a brief moment, the boys head jerked up to look for her in the crowd. When they made eye contact, she could barely make out the line of that overconfident smirk on his lips. The energy coursing through her veins was not unlike the adrenaline she felt in battle, but with nowhere to direct it, she just waved her arms at him. Sasuke gave her a nod in the affirmative, as if he understood everything she was feeling in that moment. The sounds of the stadium overwhelmed her with pride. To know that all of these people were here cheering for her son. For Sasuke. Before she could stop herself, she followed up her callout with,

“Kick his ass, Sasuke!”

All gnashing teeth and beaming pride. That smirk never left Sasuke’s face and he gave her another nod before turning to face Genma. Atsuko reeled back a little, realizing she was a small movement away from jumping over the railing in front of her. She turned her beaming grin to Sakura, who was staring at the field and Sasuke, totally mesmerized, just as elated as Atsuko was. Then, she turned to look at Yamato… only it wasn’t him beside her anymore. Instead of his wide chest and sturdy build, she was met with a more lithe figure, long arms bent backwards and hands stuffed into pockets. Her eyes wandered upwards as the smile fell from her face and she was met with the close eyed smile of her masked husband. No, Fiancé, she corrected her internal self.

Despite her previous thoughts and the anger that had swelled inside her over the past month, locking eyes with him caused her breath to catch in her throat. His hair was a little longer too, she noticed, standing slightly taller and more untamed than usual. But everything else was the same… the little wrinkles that formed around his eye when he smiled at her like that. The line of his jaw and neck, cloaked in the dark black shade of his mask, the fabric absorbing the sunlight and contrasting against the bright colors of the crowd over his shoulder. He was almost bathed in a halo of light and, if Atsuko was a religious woman, she’d say - for a brief moment - he looked angelic. Even after four years, she was still so easily stunned by him.

“Hello, dear.”

Kakashi chirped, breaking her trance and causing her to blink a couple times to refocus. Once the moment of astounded silence had passed, the conflicting feelings arose in her quickly. The anger from before mixed with the overwhelming relief of just seeing him and Sasuke. Of knowing they were both okay and unharmed. The calm that washed over her just being in Kakashi’s presence was like hearing someone play an instrument beautifully. Goosebumps raised on her skin as every muscle in her body relaxed all at once. She decided that she’d rather let that take over in this moment and confront him about everything else later. A smile pulled at her lips and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close and gripping him tightly as she buried her face in his neck.

She felt Kakashi’s breath stutter against her ear as a soft chuckle worked its way up his throat and his arms came up to wind around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer. Atsuko pulled back a little to look at his face again before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his masked lips. She rested her forehead against his and her lips buzzed a little as they danced over the soft fabric.

“I’ve missed you.”

She quietly muttered and Kakashi returned that with a hum, leaning back in to capture her lips for another brief moment.

“I missed you too.”

He replied, the vibrations from his deep voice reverberating through her chest pleasantly. They stayed like this for a few moments more, sharing quick kisses and holding one another. When Kakashi finally released his grip and lowered Atsuko to her feet, she felt all the eyes that were on them. Apparently, their display had drawn a little crowd. She turned in place, checking her surroundings. Sakura was standing behind her, and as soon as Atsuko turned in her direction, the girl blushed and directed her gazes at her feet. Over Kakashi’s shoulder she noticed a few people. The first were Shikarmaru and Naruto, both fresh from their respective fights. Shikamaru was rolling his eyes, hands stuffed into his pockets and Naruto was snickering, a shit eating grin on his face. Standing behind the two boys was Might Gai, clutching his vest over his chest with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. Atsuko noticed he did that every time she and Kakashi showed any amount of affection towards one another. It was usually followed by Gai grabbing Kakashi by his shoulders and prattling on tearfully about how lucky he was to have found love. How love would keep him youthful and vibrant. It seemed he was restraining himself this time, though.

Standing just in front of Gai was Rock Lee, covered in bandages and leaning on his crutch, but he wasn’t looking at her and Kakashi. Rather, he was staring at Sasuke, concern and something akin to disappointment etched onto his expressive features. A sudden chill ran up Atsuko’s spine as she looked over at the boy, beaten and likely unable to finish out is goal of becoming a full Shinobi ever again… All because of his fight with Gaara. Who Sasuke was about to face off against. Her heart sank and her she felt the color drain from her face. She’d been so concerned with the Curse Mark and Kakashi running off with Sasuke she hadn’t even considered how badly this fight could go… Gaara, during his fight with Lee, was merciless and if Gai hadn’t stepped in when he did, the boy would be dead. An overwhelming sense of dread overtook her and her head snapped back towards the arena just in time to see Gaara emerge from the waiting room and onto the field. The crowd erupted again in a mix of cheers and boos but Atsuko was deadly quiet this time. As if sensing her concern, Kakashi brought his hand down on her shoulder and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“Don’t worry. Sasuke’s got this.”

————————————————————————————

“Are you fucking kidding me, Kakashi?! You taught him Chidori?!”

Atsuko yelled, spinning in place and grasping the forehead of a Hidden Sand Shinobi as he tried to rush her. When her chakra cloaked palm came into contact with his skull, he immediately crumpled to the ground, only adding to the small piled of unconscious bodies that was starting to surround her. In the flurry, it was honestly a little difficult to tell the apart the incapacitated undercover Sand ninja from the sleeping forms of the spectators trapped in the Genjutsu that had been unloaded on the arena.

Kakashi was moving quickly as well, slicing and kicking through the air at lightning speed as more and more Hidden Sand ninja tried to attack him. Atsuko could barely track his movements out of the corner of her eye as two more ninja tried to jump her from opposite sides. She ducked one of their punches easily, her hand flying up to grip his arm and infect his chakra, and using her leverage to haul the now screaming man over her shoulder, directly at the other attacker. Their bodies crashed together and they both tumbled down the arena seating stairs, coming to a crumpled halt at the base. This was more of an annoyance than anything. These ninja weren’t very skilled but they didn’t stop coming, wave after wave like they were put here specifically to keep all of the Jonin in the arena occupied while the real attack happened outside, in the village. Explosions could be heard in the distance, along with the sounds of people screaming and it pained Atsuko to know she was stuck here, dealing with pests.

“Dear, maybe we can save this conversation for later?”

He called back, his strong arm coming up to connect his elbow with the throat of an approaching Shinobi, effectively clotheslining him and knocking him on his back. The fight wasn’t straining in the slightest, but Atsuko had to keep her wits about her in order to react quickly. However, her mind was still racing. Sasuke and Gaara’s fight had been incredible and terrifying. Sasuke had learned the Chidori from Kakashi, and the speed at which he moved with that unstable ball of electricity in his palm had caused her to break out in a cold sweat. Then Gaara’s sand… the way it defended him, seemingly sentient, and the inhuman arm that had broken out from the surface of his sand shield… the thought of it and the feeling of his chakra, large and unsettling, still made her a little sick to her stomach. When the attack on the village had started, Sasuke had given chase to Gaara as he fled the arena. Not too long after, Kakashi had sent Sakura, Shikamaru, Naruto, and Pakkun in pursuit of Sasuke to back him up. She truly felt useless, stuck here with Gai and Kakashi as they fought off wave after wave of incoming enemies while the real battles were taking place elsewhere. Entrusted to children, no less. So she was taking out that frustration on Kakashi, with the added benefit of actually getting to express herself for the first time in months.

“No! We will not discuss this later. You run off with Sasuke for a MONTH, don’t send a single letter or communicate with me at all, even knowing how worried I was with the-“

She stopped for a brief second as she slid to the side to avoid the Shinobi currently trying to stab her with a kunai gripped in his shaking hand. When the cut didn’t land, he reeled back quickly but there was panic in his eyes. Atsuko sighed and brought her foot up to kick him the chest, sending him careening down the stairs to join his pals from earlier.

“You knew how worried I was about that damned Curse Mark! Hell, you knew about it before the preliminary match even started and you didn’t say a word to me. Made me feel crazy for suggesting that we stop the match. Then you run off and teach him the most dangerous jutsu in your fucking arsenal? You forget that his training was entrusted to me!”

She shouted back, giving him a moment to reply and able to watch for a brief second as he quickly disposed of another Sand Ninja, tossing the limp body down on the ground and spinning on his heel to look down at her where she stood, a few steps down from his position. They both caught their breath for a second before another wave hit, the ninja seemingly appearing out of thin air. Atsuko groaned in frustration and went back to throwing blows.

“I’m his instructor too and Sasuke isn’t a baby anymore, Atsuko. I didn’t want to stop that preliminary match because he knows his own limit. You have to start trusting him a little more and let him grow up!”

The last words of his sentence came out a little grunted as a lucky Shinobi landed a punch to his gut. Atsuko’s head jerked up immediately at the sound, quickly processing that the ninja had already been dealt with by her Fiancé’s hand. She turned back to face her next incoming attacker, her foot flying out and shattering his kneecap before he could even get close enough to swing his kunai at her.

“I know he’s capable, but he’s not YOU, Kakashi! He’s so unbelievably angry and hurt and his pursuit of power is just a means to an end, you know that right?! That he’s only doing all of this for one singular reason. He has no plans to become a true Shinobi for the Hidden Leaf. All he wants to do is hunt down Itachi! You teaching him Chidori is not only insanely dangerous, but it’s only going to make him even more over confident. He’s going to try and track him down before he’s ready and he’ll be hurt! Or worse!”

She yelled back, knowing she’d struck some kind of chord when he didn’t reply for several minutes. All that could be heard were the skidding of feet on concrete and the dull thuds of fists and feet connecting with bodies. It was true, and he knew it. Sasuke was no where near ready to fight Itachi, and she wasn’t just trying to delay the inevitable. Itachi was a genius and a master of genjutsu, surpassing even herself in that area. She couldn’t imagine that he would go easy on Sasuke, considering what she assumed was his motive for leaving Sasuke alive in the first place. To give Sasuke a goal to encourage him to become stronger and to pay his ultimate penance by being killed by the person he loved the most.

The whole situation still pained and confused her to no end, but she had made up her mind a long time ago regarding how to approach it. She had decided to remain in Sasuke’s corner for the rest of her life. Whether that be seeking revenge on Itachi or, if he ever discovered the truth, the Hidden Leaf. If he decided to let it all go and follow the path of a Shinobi, start a family, live a simple life. Anything he chose to do, she would support him. No matter what. So this internal conflict of her knowing the truth didn’t matter in the end. Her love was unconditional and indiscriminate.

Suddenly, there was another lull in the wave of attackers. Atsuko, Kakashi, and Gai all fell completely still, taking a few moments to catch their breath. Gai had been quiet during their entire argument and, even now, he wouldn’t meet Atsuko’s eyes when she looked between him and Kakashi. It was probably a little unfair to force him to listen to their personal issues, but she had started talking and it wasn’t about to stop now. Her gaze fell on Kakashi, making eye contact as both their chests rose and fell quickly, her nostrils flaring with the anger that ran just under the surface of her skin.

“He can handle it.”

Came Kakashi’s monotone reply, panted out between breaths. The immediate glare Atsuko fixed Kakashi with was downright murderous. With the adrenaline from the fight pumping through her veins, her body twitched involuntarily, wanting nothing more than to throw a punch at him herself. The tension that grew as they stared each other only caused Atsuko’s heart to beat faster, her tongue lashing against the roof of her mouth with all of the insults she wanted to hurl at him in this moment. He was blind to what he was doing it was disgusting! He saw Sasuke as a young version of himself, hurting and struggling. He thought Sasuke could handle this stuff because he had to in HIS youth. It wasn’t right to expect so much of a child and to actively play into his revenge fantasies by teaching him a powerful jutsu. He was going to get Sasuke hurt.

“He will get hurt. And when he does… I’m coming for your fucking head.”

She snapped back, breaking the eye contact and turning her back to him just in time to catch another enemy in her genjutsu. The dark chakra covering her hands nearly doubled in size now, licking towards the sky like flames as her palm came in contact with the attackers forehead. The unfortunate Shinobi she’d taken her anger out on collapsed to his knees, clawing at his eyes with his hands as he screamed. She brought a foot up, kicking him in the chest and sending him rolling down the staircase until he landed in an unconscious lump.

Atsuko meant what she’d said with her whole heart. If what Kakashi had taught Sasuke ended up getting him hurt, she would have his head for it. Her fighting style grew in ferocity as the searing anger and general helplessness finally took over. All she wanted right now was to get the hell out of this arena and find Sasuke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to get ugly! The seed for what's to come has been planted. Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter! See ya in the next one :)


	17. Reflections and Burying the Hatchet

Lord Third was dead. The village was in shambles and the Hokage was dead. As Atsuko checked her black funeral outfit in the mirror one last time, she smoothed her hands over a couple wrinkles with a gentle sigh. The sound was intrusively loud, reverberating off the tiled walls in the bathroom and filling the air with confused discontent. Outside the bathroom door, not a single squeaking floorboard or patter of feet was heard, all of those familiar sounds were drowned out by the rain pouring down in buckets, tapping quickly against the roof.

Every day that passed after the attack on the village was a blur and Atsuko noticed that her reflection was almost unrecognizable. She knew she looked the same as ever, but the eyes staring back at her didn’t feel like her own in this moment. Familiar, but not her own. It was almost like she was formless, only defined by the innumerable thoughts that ran through her head. She’d retreated into her mind so deeply that her body was forced to operate on autopilot, no meaning or significance behind her movements. She couldn’t even bring herself to pick at her nails to try and remain present. Drowning in an onslaught of perplexing emotions and half-assed introspection.

The events that led to this were still a little hazy in her mind. She recalled the fighting in the arena continuing for what felt like an eternity. After her last comment to Kakashi, herself and the other two Jonin in her vicinity fought wave after wave of enemies in angered, uncomfortable, silence. They had noticed the barrier that was erected on the roof of the Hokage’s viewing box, but had still been powerless to help or even get close enough to know what was happening. Then, it seemed like everything came to an end all at once. The barrier fell, the sand shinobi stopped appearing around them, and Pakkun had returned to Kakashi to report what had happened in the fight with Gaara.

Naruto had defeated Gaara, who had turned out to be the Jinchuriki for the One-Tailed Beast. Sasuke was pretty beat up, the curse mark had given him a hard time, but he was okay. The same with Naruto. Upon reaching the top of the viewing box where the barrier had been, Atsuko, Kakashi, and several other Jonin found Lord Third, dead with the Reaper Death Seal on his stomach. The Anbu that had been there to witness the fight had filled them in on what happened. Orochimaru had been the driving force behind the attack, convincing the Hidden Sand to work with him in an attempt to crush the Leaf. He’d reanimated the First and Second Hokage to fight Lord Third, but Lord Third had held his own and sacrificed himself by using the Reaper Death Seal to render Orochimaru’s arms useless, ensuring he would never be able to use ninjutsu again.

There was no time to process that, however. Immediately after hearing what had happened, Pakkun guided Atsuko and a few Anbu back to where Sasuke and Naruto were.

_Atsuko was trying her hardest to focus on the image of the pug hopping from branch to branch in front of her, but it was getting increasingly more difficult. She knew from Pakkun that Sasuke was okay, but that little factoid didn’t stop her heart from pounding or keep her palms from sweating profusely. She just had to get to him, then she would feel better… she kept repeating this mantra to herself mentally, until she was focusing a little too much on her thoughts and not enough on her body. Her foot landed awkwardly on the branch in front of her, and she stumbled a little only to feel a strong hand grasp her bicep and hold her upright. Atsuko’s eyes darted up to see who caught her and was met with a cool, porcelain, cat mask._

_“Thanks, Tenzo.”_

_She sighed out, turning back ahead and continuing forward, feeling a little more secure knowing he had her back._

_When they finally reached the area the fight had taken place in, Atsuko was stunned to say the least. Just beyond the group of trees they were standing in, she could see a massive area of the forrest was completely demolished. Massive trees, snapped in half several times over like twigs and all of the grass was torn up, leaving nothing but dirt. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what had occurred here, but she suspected it had something to do with Naruto and Gaara’s tailed beasts… Her eyes scanned the grounds quickly and she spotted Sasuke’s back, knelt in the dirt next to a seemingly unconscious Naruto. She broke off in a dead sprint, Yamato following behind her. She heard Pakkun advise the other two Anbu that Sakura was near by and they split off to follow the small dog to her location._

_“Sasuke!”_

_Atsuko called out, and Sasuke turned to face her. Once she got a look at his face, she almost tripped over her own feet. The boy was covered in those curved, black, lines from the Curse Mark. They were running across his face, sweeping around his arms and legs. She managed to suppress the shock, though she wondered if he could hear the hitch in her breath from choking back a gasp. Sasuke just looked at her with wide eyes, a little stunned that anyone had shown up at all. As she drew closer though, his face softened a little and he glanced down at Naruto again._

_“Are you hurt?”  
_

_  
Atsuko asked, slowing her sprint to a run and dropping to her knees beside Sasuke, kicking up a small cloud of dirt in the process. He shook his head and tore his eyes away from Naruto to meet her gaze, then glancing over her shoulder at where Yamato hovered behind her._

_“No. But Naruto probably needs a doctor.”_

_He replied, voice a little gravelly as his eyes turned back to look at his friend again. Naruto was collapsed face first in the dirt, unconscious and covered in bruises and blood. But when Atsuko took a closer look… the boy was smiling. She looked over her shoulder for Yamato and nodded to encourage him to move. Quickly, he ducked down and scooped the blonde haired boy up bridal style in his arms, looking down at Atsuko for further instruction._

_“Go ahead, get him to the hospital. I’ll take care of Sasuke.”  
_

_  
She told him, and there was a moment of silence before Yamato gave a curt nod and disappeared in a flash._

_“Sakura… she needs help too.”  
_

_  
Sasuke spoke up from behind her and Atsuko turned to face him again, nodding._

_“Pakkun led the other Anbu to her. They’ve got her.”_

_She confirmed, taking a moment to just look at the boy who was kneeled next to her. His face dropped a little and his shoulders slumped forward as he finally relaxed. Slowly, the Curse Mark started to dissipate, moving over his skin and retreating back to its original spot on his shoulder. It was in this moment all of the emotion from the past month broke past the dam and tears welled in her eyes. Sasuke had gone from looking intimidating and capable to small and exhausted in the blink of an eye. Suddenly, he looked like he had the day she’d picked him up. Hunched over and tiny, his thin shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs. Those big, dark, eyes searching her face for answers, desperately seeking some indication all of this was a dream. She remembered that day like it had just happened. Like she was reliving it now._

_Without thinking, her hand reach out to grab his shoulder. The contact immediately shattered the illusion and she saw him for who he really was now. Older, so strong for someone so young, determined and hiding all of that hurt with fiery passion. Sasuke raised his head and turned to look at her, small tears forming in his eyes as she watched all of his resolve shatter. Immediately, Atsuko wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him to her, clutching his head to her chest like she’d done on that day several years ago. She felt him sniffle a few times before his arms wound around her waist and he finally let go, sobbing quietly against her shirt and balling the material on her back in his fists._

_Atsuko couldn’t stop the tears that flowed from her eyes if she’d tried with all of her might. She buried her nosed in the hair on the top of his head, smelling of dirt and sweat and blood. Tiny whimpers escaped her lips, but she bit her bottom lip to prevent any sobs from escaping. So much had happened in such a short amount of time and she knew it was just as overwhelming for him as it was for her. The Curse Mark and the pain his body had gone through. The obviously massive scale battle that had taken place here, the damage alone was unlike anything she’d ever seen. His fight with Gaara and the determination to beat him, like he was trying to prove his strength to himself. If he could beat Gaara, then he was getting stronger and he was on the path to striking down Itachi. Though, from the way he was crying and the tense anger that she felt in his shoulders, she could tell it hadn’t gone the way he needed it to._

_They sat like this, clutching each other for several moments, and Atsuko’s tears dried slowly. No sense in crying when he was here. Safe. In her arms. She let him get out what he needed and carefully poured over her next moves. Kakashi was not a good teacher for Sasuke. At first, she thought it would be a good fit. They were kind of similar in attitude and practice, and clearly Sasuke was also able to use the Lightning change in chakra nature… no one else in the Hidden Leaf could have taught him how to master that. However, now, she was starting to see things differently. Kakashi was doing two things:_

_First, he was projecting onto the boy. He saw himself in him and wanted to guide him down a similar path. Wanted to train Sasuke to be as strong as he was and convince him to follow in his footsteps. Become a good little foot solider for the Hidden Leaf and dedicate his life to being an honorable Shinobi. Atsuko knew this was not going to happen. Sasuke was only amassing power to track down Itachi and get his revenge. There was also the sickening truth that he didn’t know about yet. Sasuke wasn’t privy to what the leadership of the Hidden Leaf had done to Itachi. That they had ordered his clans genocide. But Atsuko did… and that thought of Sasuke becoming just another shinobi in the ranks, serving a village that had ordered his murder. It made her physically sick._

_Second, he was allowing his own personal bullshit to get in the way of proper training. He saw himself in Sasuke, and he saw the rest of Team Minato reflected in the same way. Naruto was Obito, Sakura was Rin. He’d actually told her this himself, but he didn’t seem to understand the implications at the time. To be fair, neither had Atsuko. However, now it was all crystal clear. He was projecting all of that onto this group of kids, trying to right his past wrongs without understanding a single goddamn thing about Sasuke or the others. She’d seen him give Sasuke advice before during the couple of missions she’d gotten to tag along on and during training sessions. He wanted Sasuke to be a better version of himself. To protect Naruto and Sakura, like he felt he should have done for Obito and Rin. It wasn’t right._

_She would have to discuss this with him and quickly. Maybe he would listen and see her side of things. It was one thing to callout something someone was already aware of, but a totally different ordeal to point out things they were doing subconsciously… He hadn’t seemed very receptive at the arena, but then again that was a high stress situation. As Atsuko considered the possible approaches, she felt Sasuke pull away from her a little and it brought her back to reality. Her hands moving with nothing more than muscle memory, cradling his jaw with her fingers and running her thumbs across his cheeks to collect any remaining tears._

_When their eyes met again, it was clear how drained he was. His eyes were hooded and all his facial muscles had fell lax, not even having the energy to keep up his normally tight and pensive expression. One of her hands came up to rest against his forehead, smoothing back some wild hairs as she gave him a soft smile. The love he filled her with was unlike anything she’d ever felt. It was an overwhelming felling of unadulterated devotion._

_“You did awesome, today, badass. Let’s get you back to the village and have a medic-nin check you out, okay?”_

_She encouraged and the boy gave a weak nod. She pulled herself from her knees, dusting her pants of the dirt and turning her back to him only to crouch in front of him._

_“Hop on.”_

_Then, Sasuke’s arms wrapped around her neck and her hands went to grip the bottom of his thighs to hoist him up. A little heavier than when she did this when he was younger, but she was mostly just focusing on the fact that she was able to help him in this moment. His issues seemed so daunting and beyond her control… so carrying him like this felt like one of the small things she could do._

Now, as Atsuko stood staring at her reflection in the body length mirror on the back of the bathroom door, that memory filled her with the energy she needed to move forward. She’d been struggling over the past couple of days, trying to figure out what she felt about Lord Third’s death. Trying to determine why she still felt like mourning the man, even after everything he’d done. Wanting nothing more to define her complicated emotions and place them in their neat little boxes, filed away under a specific word she could use to describe this memory in hindsight. However, nothing had come to mind.

On one hand, she felt this crushing sadness. Lord Third had been friendly with everyone in the village and he had been this beacon of unity for the community for so long. Atsuko had admired the man deeply in her youth and she largely credited him with putting her life back on the right track. They weren’t particularly close, but he had recognized her anyway, somehow knowing exactly what she needed before she did. She had believed, at one point, that he genuinely cared for every single individual in the village on a personal level. The loss of a powerful shinobi, a caring man, and a champion of peace… She felt the weight of that, just like the rest of the village did.

However, she also knew he was at least partially responsible for the Uchiha Clan Massacre. State sanctioned genocide. He had allowed Naruto Uzumaki to live on his own for his entire childhood, directly banning any attempts at adopting the child simply because of another petty power struggle. No one clan should be able to raise the child that held the Nine-Tailed Fox. Additionally, and Atsuko didn’t know this until recently, but he had also allowed the Hyuga clan to essentially keep slaves. Sectioning off a part of their clan and forcing them to be subservient to the main branch. That was the chip on Neji Hyuga’s shoulder, and his hatred and anger were completely justified in her eyes. Lord Third had also sent herself, Kakashi, and their friends to war when they were only children. Leaving them all with scars and irreversible damage.

Even with the praise she held for him, there was a small part of her that was glad he was dead. Not that justice had been served in any form, because the people who’d suffered due to his decisions hadn’t got to pass their judgement. But, at the very least, maybe someone capable could take his place and bring about real change. Would it be too much to hope that Danzo would be held accountable for his crimes? Or that the Hyuga Clan would be reformed? And just like that, another surge of hope was rushing through her.

These conflicting feelings, on top of the ones involving Kakashi and Sasuke that constantly plagued her, had left Atsuko overwhelmed and barely able to function. She quickly found herself unable to leave the bed other than to use the restroom. Kakashi was giving her space, sleeping on the couch and keeping his distance. Every now and then, Sasuke would slip into her room with a glass of water and some food. He would sit with her, wordlessly providing support for a few silent moments before leaving her to work through it all. The entire episode went on for about three days. Then, it was time for Lord Hokage’s funeral. She still didn’t feel any more secure in her feelings than she had yesterday, but she had forced herself from bed to finally take a much needed in shower.

Now, as she reconsidered the day of the attack and the feeling of carrying Sasuke on her back, she suddenly felt a little more energized. Determined. Like it was worth getting out of bed and moving forward, just to see him. To walk with him and his team to this funeral in the rain. Whatever the feeling was, it spurred her onward. She opened the bathroom door and headed down the hall to the living room where Kakashi and Sasuke were waiting on the couch. None of them had spoken at all this morning, just moving around one another silently as they got ready. So she decided to speak her first words in three days to break the silence. They both turned their eyes up to look at her and stood quietly, preparing to leave.

“Everyone ready?”

Atsuko asked, quiet and voice a little hoarse from not speaking for so long. Sasuke’s eyes visibly widened and he nodded in reply, letting out a soft ‘yeah’. Kakashi didn’t seem as surprised, but he nodded as well, crossing the room and holding out a gloved hand to her. Atsuko looked down at it for a few moments, trying to determine whether it was worth remaining angry at him. Not today, she decided, her hand coming up and slotting with his easily. The feeling of his bare fingers and leather covered palm against her own sent a slight jolt of electricity down her spine and her eyes stung a little with the need to cry. The simple gesture a quiet truce for the time being. A silent acknowledgment of her pain, like he was letting her know that no matter how far away she felt from him, he was always waiting for her to come back.

Atsuko managed to blink away the tears and her gaze moved from their conjoined hands to Sasuke, standing back a little awkwardly. She reached out her other hand for him, a loving smile on her face.

  
  
“C’mon badass, you too. Thank you, for helping me these past couple days.”

She uttered out, voice cracking again a little as her vocal cords warmed back up. Sasuke looked a little indignant at first, gaze falling to the floor and letting out a slight huff. She didn’t have the energy during this moment to read to far into it and he seemed to let go of whatever was bothering him quickly. He approached her side and took her other hand in his, head still ducked down. She leaned down a little before he could move to stand on her other side, and pressed a quick kiss to the crown of his head.

With that, they all departed for the funeral of Lord Third.

—————————————————————————-

A few weeks had gone by since the attack on the Hidden Leaf. Everyone was doing their part to aid in the rebuilding efforts and, for the most part, a lot of things had gone back to normal. The kids were returning to the Academy. The streets were filling with people again, buzzing with idle chatter and laughter. Shinobi were heading back to the training grounds. Atsuko stood idly in front of the living room window, sipping her coffee and watching as people passed by her home. Small groups of children, giggling and running after one another. A few carpenters on the roof of the house across from hers, repairing some minor damage as the sounds of hammers on wood rang out. As the village returned to life, Atsuko found her own energy growing. It had been a rough few weeks, but she felt the blossom of hope in her chest for the first time in a while.

There were feet on the hardwood, approaching from behind her. She slowly turned her head in time to see Kakashi approaching her. He was still in his pajamas, bare chested as the soft linen pants he often wore hung low on his hips. Still, when her eyes traveled upwards, she noticed he was wearing his mask, the dark fabric covering the bottom half of his face and his neck. Sasuke was already gone for the day, skipping out the door after scarfing down breakfast in a rush with nothing more than a ‘be home for dinner!’. She gave him a soft smile as he invaded her personal space in the best way, leaning his masked chin down to rest on her shoulder while his long arms wound around her waist. He stared out the window with her for a few moments in content silence, listening her sip coffee from her mug and then lowering his mask when she offered the cup to him over her shoulder, taking a small drink while she held the cup.

“Sasuke’s gone for the day… he went to meet up with Naruto and Sakura…”

  
  
He hummed in her ear, turning to place a couple kisses along Atsuko’s neck, his lips tickling her slightly and making her squirm as she giggled.

“Been a long time since we’ve had the house to ourselves… we should really make the most of it, or we’ll just be wasting a perfect opportunity.”

Kakashi purred, his breath ghosting along her neck, the warmth of it causing Atsuko’s eyes to flutter shut. In all honesty, she was still slightly upset with him. In the recent weeks, she’d let things calm down and go back to normal for the sake of peace keeping, but they still hadn’t had the conversation she wanted to have. About Sasuke. About Kakashi’s secret keeping and how disrespected it made her feel. In truth, she wasn’t ready for the conversation just yet. She couldn’t seem to grasp a single coherent thought when it came to the issues she had, all she knew was that it all felt _wrong_.

His hands worked their way up her body, sliding and massaging over the dip of her waist and landing in a stern grip on her hips. Kakashi pulled her back towards him until his front was flush with her back, his hands guiding her hips in small, teasing, circles. Atsuko let out a gentle sigh at the feeling of him slowly grinding into her backside, the hand not holding the coffee mug coming up to reach back and run her fingers through his wild, silver, hair. His lips had found a home on her neck, sucking and nipping at the spot behind her ear that managed to pull a gasp from her every time.

“Kashi’…”

Atsuko sighed, voice high and breathy as she struggled to maintain her composure. As much as she wanted to stay here with him and spend all day in bed, she had obligations. It had been months since they’d had the opportunity to be intimate and the growing tension in this moment was damn near suffocating as they both realized just how long it had been. Still, she tried to wiggle out of his grasp, setting the coffee mug down on the window sill and dropping her hands to where his rested on her hips, gently prying at his fingers.

“I can’t… I promised Gai that I would meet him at the training grounds in a bit. Then I have to meet Tenzo to go over some new mission details… I also have to stop by the grocery. It’s a full day.”

She informed him, rattling off her to-do list as she peeled herself out of his grasp and whisked around him to walk back into the kitchen. Kakashi stood in place for a few moments, a little stunned at being left high and dry before he let out a suffering sigh and turned to follow her. He combed his fingers back through his hair as he watched her dance around the kitchen, cleaning up the aftermath of breakfast. Atsuko didn’t think it was that big of a deal. They could always fit in sex another time… then she realized she’d just considered sex with Kakashi like some kind of chore. Something to be scheduled. She felt his eyes on her back and she placed the plate in her hand back in the sink, shutting off the water and turning to face him.

“Are you still upset with me?”

Kakashi asked before Atsuko had an opportunity to address the massive elephant in the room. He managed to ask the question in a way that didn’t irritate her. No whininess or dejection in his tone, just a little hesitance like he was dreading getting the response he already knew was coming. Atsuko bit her bottom lip, eyes directed at the wooden kitchen floor as she considered her reply. After a few beats of silence, she settled on the wording and turned her gaze back up to meet his. He hadn’t pulled his mask back up, so this would be more difficult than she’d anticipated with his facial expressions being uncovered and easily readable.

“Yes, I am. But that’s not why-“

She stopped for a second. Maybe her lingering resentment was the reason she’d been distant from him recently. Physically and emotionally. They never discussed the days she’d spent in bed following the attack on the village. Never discussed Lord Third’s death or Sasuke’s fight with Gaara. It was like she’d been trying her hardest to fall back into a routine. One that really didn’t involve him. She realized, all at once, that neither of them had been home much in the last few weeks. Her helping with village repairs and him focusing on Team 7, only reconnecting when they slept at night, then waking up and doing it all again the next day. No banter. No sex. No meaningful discussions. Just pleasantries and maybe a peck on the cheek in passing.

Her gaze had dropped back to the floor again as she realized just how distant they’d been from one another since the attack. When it all sank in, she looked back up only to be met with a look from Kakashi that read ‘ _yeah, exactly'_ his eyebrows raised slightly and mouth pursed into a thin line. Atsuko dropped her head back with a soft groan. He’d picked up on all of these things in the recent weeks and hadn’t said a word to her, just letting her blur all the days together and move about in blind ignorance.

“Okay. You’re right, that’s exactly why we haven’t had sex in so long. Why we haven’t been communicating. It’s because I’m still upset and I’m not sure how to fix it.”

Atsuko replied, bringing her head back up to look him in the eyes. He still stood across the kitchen table from her, arms folded over his chest as he regarded her. Defensive already, Atsuko noticed. Kakashi was quick to reply,

“I don’t understand. Sasuke is fine. Why are you still mad?”

  
  
He asked, seeming genuinely confused and a little hurt. Atsuko felt a little anger bubble in her chest at the question, wondering how he could be so perceptive sometimes, but other things just flew over his head. He couldn’t understand everything she felt because he didn’t know everything she did. However, he should at least be able to grasp why she felt slighted. Yelling and blowing up like she’d done during the attack on the village was not the way to go about this, so she took a steadying breath and gestured to the table.

“Sit. I’ll explain it.”

She offered, moving to take her own seat across from him at the kitchen table. He lowered himself into a chair as well, elbows on the table and leaning forward. A direct contrast from his earlier stance. This was openness, a willingness to listen written all over his face as his eyebrows furrowed together in concern. Maybe he’d been expecting her to yell and was preparing himself for the worst earlier. Either way, she took his body language as a cue to continue.

“First off, I’m still upset because we never discussed it. That was probably my fault, choosing when I did to bring up the way I felt. It didn’t exactly give us an opportunity to talk it over calmly and rationally. Secondly, it’s not all about Sasuke. While a lot of my anger comes from that month you spent with him, most of it started before then. When you mislead me and intentionally held me back from helping him.”

Atsuko started, raising a finger to stop Kakashi from speaking as his lips parted in a response.

“Please let me finish. During the exams, you and some of the other Jonin instructors got to watch the Forest of Death portion. I was kept out of that for obvious reasons. I was only there to proctor and with Sasuke being a participant, Lord Third thought it best that I didn’t become to involved. I was completely understanding of that when I thought this exam was going to go smoothly. When I assumed things would be normal. However, you knew Sasuke and the others were attacked by Orochimaru. You knew about the curse mark. Yet, you kept that information from me and actively prevented me from stepping in to stop the preliminary match. Granted, Sasuke came out of the scrap no worse for wear aside from the mark. But, we still don’t know the long term effects fighting that mark could have on his body. Or his mind, for that matter.”

She continued, trying to sound as logical as possible so he couldn’t poke a hole in her issue by claiming she was being overprotective or letting her emotions dictate her thoughts. Kakashi seemed to be listening, though. Not just waiting for his turn to talk. He nodded a little when she stopped and mulled over his next words for a moment.

“Okay. Fair enough. I should have told you about the mark. I just didn’t want to worry you and I knew that Sasuke didn’t want you stepping in. He wanted to keep going and he was capable of doing so.”

  
He replied, calm and even. Atsuko nodded slowly, her reply already geared up.

“I understand that. Sasuke is strong. Probably even stronger than any of us give him credit for and he clearly held his own despite the mark. Or maybe because of it. Either way, I do have faith in his abilities, whether or not you believe that. However, I think you’re biased. You see yourself in Sasuke. You see…”

She trailed off, considering for a moment if she really wanted to take this that far. He could be hurt by it… but she needed him to hear this. So she continued anyway.

“You see Obito and Rin in Naruto and Sakura. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, because we all see how being around those three has changed you. Opened you up. But the problem lies with your relation to Sasuke. You see him as a young version of yourself and you project onto him a little too much. You want him to be a better version of you. To protect Naruto and Sakura like you feel you should have for… for Obito and Rin. The problem with that is Sasuke’s motivations are so different from your own. He can be downright emotionally volatile at times. His entire goal is centered around revenge. And you pushing him onward with that Curse Mark doing god knows what to his mind and body… then teaching him Chidori? It’s irresponsible. Even if Sasuke didn’t want me to stop the match, children don’t always know what’s best for them.”

She finished her little speech by purposefully moving to mimic his body language. To unconsciously make him more comfortable and accepted. Her face drawn up in concern but careful to keep from sounding too condescending. Understanding how people operated could be pretty exhausting in times like these. When she was able to take her time and craft a response, even her facial expressions and body language were thought out and calculated. If he’d remained guarded and closed off, she would have given him a different reply. Held back a little and met his reserve with her own, taking her time in breaking him down with positive affirmations while sprinkling in the truth. But since he seemed so receptive to what she had to say, she decided laying it all bare was the best approach. Being reserved and holding her feelings back would likely upset him when he was making the effort to be so open. Still, Kakashi’s eyes had turned down to stare at the table, eyebrows knitted together in concentration or pain. A mix of both she decided.

When the silence stretched on, Atsuko found her hands sweating a little and her throat constricting. She didn’t want to hurt him with what she’d said, but he needed to know how she felt about all of this. He needed to know what he was doing and maybe he’d make an effort to pull back a little and view things more objectively. Her mind started to run a little wild. Maybe he didn’t need to know. It was selfish of her to voice these opinions to him and then not offer any advice on how to change. Was there even really an issue with how he was handling Team 7? Or was she just slighted and embarrassed that he’d known more about Sasuke’s situation than she had? Maybe she was just scorned because Sasuke chose Kakashi to train him for the final round of the exams? Did all of this revolve around her pride? Another curse of being able to read people was that it almost always turned on her until she picked her own motivations apart and all that was left was internal conflict. If he didn’t speak soon she would inevitably apologize for everything she said and turn the blame around on herself.

From across the table, she heard a soft intake of breath and her eyes refocused on the man in front of her. He pulled his gaze up from the table to lock eyes with her, eyebrows still drawn together but now there were a couple tears in his eyes. Atsuko almost panicked. Almost got up and rushed over to him to clutch his head to her chest so she could stroke his hair and apologize. Tell him she was wrong. Then, he spoke up.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I do see myself in Sasuke. And Naruto and Sakura… they do remind me of-“

He cut himself off, seemingly unable to speak their names aloud at the moment. Unable to stop herself, Atsuko reached across the table and draped her hand over where his were clasped together in front of him. Kakashi seemed to ease a little at the contact, turning his right hand over so she could intertwine their fingers. The gesture put her a little at ease and she continued to listen intently, nodding for him to continue.

“I’m sorry I kept those things from you. I just know you worry about him constantly, so I didn’t want to add to that. I do understand what you mean when you say I’m biased. Teaching Sasuke Chidori and not really considering what that meant. I just knew he was physically capable of handling it. I’m not sure what to say other than I understand now.”

He finished by breaking the eye contact and dropping his head forward again, still clearly struggling with vocalizing his emotions. Years of repression and swallowing his emotions wouldn’t be fixed in a few years with Atsuko. She had always known that. So, really, what he’d said was more than she could have hoped for. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey, thank you for the apology, Kashi’. And don’t think I don’t have my part in this. I do. I’ve behaved downright childishly in the past few weeks by not communicating with you like I should have. And I’m not afraid to admit that my pride and ego were involved in this as well. So if you’ve got anything to get off your chest about me, then go ahead.”

  
  
She offered up, watching as he lifted his head and locked eyes with her again. The tears had dried, she realized, and after a few seconds he gave her a soft smirk, gripping her hand tightly and tugging it a little closer.

“Oh, so you were just jealous Sasuke picked me to train him, huh?”

  
  
He replied, an obviously teasing lilt in his voice that caught Atsuko a little off guard. Though, in every small argument they’d ever had, he always ended it by picking on her or fucking her silly. That was his way of putting the emotions on the back burner. However, this fight was bigger. It wasn’t just some argument about annoying habits or a little spat after they’d both had a stressful day. It was about her son. Sasuke. About Kakashi’s treatment of her and how it made her feel disrespected.

However, she didn’t see the need to continue forward with the conversation when he clearly just wanted to move on. He understood what she’d told him and Atsuko knew he would consider it for a long time. He wasn’t the best at talking about his emotions, but rather a man of action. She’d known that from the beginning of the relationship. She could only hope he would consider everything she’d said and maybe make some changes for the better. So, she returned his smirk with a toothy grin and a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was trying to say.”

She responded sarcastically, not missing the way his hand tugged on her arm again. With a gentle sigh, she stood from the table and walked to where he sat, never letting go of his hand. She straddled his thighs and sat down in his lap with a soft smile, leaning in almost immediately to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

“But seriously ‘Kashi. Think about what I said, okay? And let’s not do this again… If you or I have an issue in the future, let’s agree to bring it up immediately. Deal?”

She asked, leaning back a little so he couldn’t capture her in another kiss. Kakashi nodded in return, meeting her eyes again so she knew he was serious.

“Deal.”

He agreed, his hands finding their rightful place on her hips, rubbing small circles with his thumbs. Atsuko returned the agreement with another kiss, drawing her body closer to his until they were pressed chest to chest. She was aware this wasn’t how this conversation was supposed to end. Most couples would argue for hours and probably still wouldn’t get anywhere with the other party. But she also knew they were different from most couples. From the beginning, there had been this unspoken connection. An understanding that was difficult to put into words. So, despite him putting an end to the difficult conversation with a corny joke, Atsuko knew he understood her. Just as she understood him. Or at least, that’s what she told herself in this moment.

“Maybe I can be a little late to the training session with Gai…”

She hummed after they’d separated for air, her arms coming up to wrap around his neck while her fingers played with the ends of his hair. Kakashi smirked, eyes lighting up immediately as his hands fell to grip her ass, warm and familiar. He stood quickly and Atsuko gasped, wrapping her legs around his waist to insure she wouldn’t fall. Kakashi only let out a chuckle, pressing teasing kisses to her neck and face as he stumbled back towards their bedroom with her in his arms, both of them a mess of giggles and quick kisses. 

———————————————————

After an hour and a half, and a few orgasms that Atsuko hadn’t realized she desperately needed, she and Kakashi managed to pull themselves from bed and get ready for their days. He’d offered to shower with her to save time and Atsuko, in her newly renewed infatuation, had agreed. That little escapade had made her 30 more minutes late. Now, she was rushing to get to the training grounds, jogging lightly as she fussed with her hair, trying to tie it in a messy knot with her ninja headband clutched between her teeth. Kakashi had strolled out of the house about 10 minutes before she had, seeming content to leisurely walk to where he was due to meet up with Sasuke and the rest of Team 7 for lunch.

When Atsuko finally reached the training grounds, she was a little out of breath from the run, thinking Gai had probably given up and moved on without her. Instead, she found him standing in their usually clearing… On his hands, with his feet up in the air, doing pushups in that position. Lowering himself to the ground until his nose touched the grass, then his forearms straining as he pushed himself back up, only to lower again. Atsuko smiled at the sight, wondering just how in the hell he managed to think of these things and, furthermore, how the hell he managed to execute them.

“Gai!”

She called across the field, waving excitedly. The man in question turned his head up to look at her and flashed a bright grin before using his hands to spring himself into a flip, landing perfectly on his feet.

“Atsuko! I believe you may be taking on some of the bad habits of my eternal rival!”

He called back and Atsuko blushed as she approached him, dropping her head in mild embarrassment. Gai moved to grab a bottle of water from a nearby tree stump, turning it upside down and swallowing the entire thing in the blink of an eye.

“Yeah, sorry about that. It is Kakashi’s fault that I’m late…”

She apologized, dropping her own bag on the ground next to the stump. To avoid any awkward questions, she began stretching almost immediately. Her right leg planted in the ground in front of her as she moved to do some leisurely lunges and her arms winding up behind her neck, stretching her shoulders. Gai moved to do some warm ups as well, jogging in place and cracking his neck. He gave her a concerned look in the midst of this, eyebrow quirked.

“Another fight?”

  
  
He asked, tone surprisingly careful as he broached the topic. Atsuko recalled he had been within ear shot during their spat at the arena and cringed internally. Up until that point she and Kakashi had managed to project a near perfect image of their relationship. All of their friends fawned over them, labeling them a ‘power couple’ and cooing at their displays of affection. Kurenai had even pulled her aside on one of the rare occasions the group had gotten together to relax at the bar, thanking Atsuko for pulling Kakashi out of his shell and commenting on how good they were together. It was embarrassing to think Gai had to hear their first big argument and she wondered if his image of them had changed.

“Well, no not really. We sort of worked that out. Again, I’m sorry you had to be there to hear that. It was pretty tacky in all honesty. I should have saved that for home.”

Atsuko apologized, moving to stretch her other leg. Gai nodded, but waved his hand a little dismissively before replying.

“You were upset! No need to apologize for expressing your true feelings!”

He encouraged, causing Atsuko to smile down at the ground and blush to fan her cheeks. Every time she got to spend time with Gai, he was always so reassuring. She wondered if she was deserving of such positivity, in all honesty. Not that she considered herself unworthy of good things, that thought never crossed her mind, but it did concern her that she couldn’t match his optimism. So she couldn’t always return those reassuring statements, though Gai never really seemed to need them. She found herself wondering who the strongest person had to lean on when they were weak. It occurred to her just how often she leaned on her support group. Tenzo, Gai, Iruka, and, in recent months, she’d even turned to Sakura with some dilemmas. If there was one thing that young girls were well versed on it was matters of the heart. Throughout the month that Kakashi and Sasuke had been gone training, the young girl and Atsuko had found some comfort in each others presence. Two young women emotionally invested in two emotionally damaged young men. It was a simplification, but it still applied. As Atsuko and Gai continued to warm up, she thought back on a conversation she’d had with the pink haired girl while Kakashi and Sasuke were gone.

_Sakura had come over again, just like she had every day in the past week. Atsuko didn’t mind, in fact, she was grateful for the company. Though he’d offered, she didn’t feel right asking Tenzo to stay with her again. She was beginning to feel like maybe she was sending him mixed signals, or worse, that she was getting confused with his constant presence during her more emotionally vulnerable times. So, having the young girl over gave her positive company and a distraction from her worries. Atsuko figured they both needed that, so it was mutually beneficial._

_Throughout the week, she and Sakura had taken a couple afternoon strolls. Hitting up the book shop, grabbing coffee and sweets, stopping by to say Hi to Ino at the Yamanaka flower shop. The young girl had even accompanied her on a couple errands. The grocery, paying some bills, and helping her sharpen and clean all three sets of Ninja tools for herself, Kakashi, and Sasuke. Today was a little different, however. The rain was coming down in buckets outside and, thankfully, Atsuko had nowhere to be. So, when Sakura had shown up on her front porch around noon, clutching an umbrella and brandishing that disarming smile, Atsuko had let her in with a warning that it was going to be a boring day. Cleaning around the home and maybe some mild self care. Sakura had just snapped her umbrella shut and grinned wider, pointing to a pink bag she had slung over her shoulder, announcing,_

_“I brought some stuff for manicures!”_

_So, here they sat, hair wrapped up in towels and faces covered in a homemade face mask, the ingredients courtesy of the rose bushes in Atsuko’s backyard. Sakura had helped the older woman clean the house, dusting, sweeping, mopping, and wiping down every visible surface. Then they’d both showered and settled down in the living room in their bathrobes, lighting several candles that Atsuko had found stuffed away in the hallway closet. Kakashi had a sensitive nose, so when he’d started coming around frequently she’d stashed all of her overly scented items. The window in the living room was opened a hair, letting in the sound and smell of rain as the sun slowly began to set behind the clouds._

_“Your mother isn’t expecting you home for dinner?”_

_Atsuko asked, as Sakura began to pull out all of the nail supplies from her bag, setting the innumerable nail polish bottles in a neat row on the coffee table. The young girl shook her head from where she was seated on the floor across from Atsuko._

_“Nope! I told her I was staying the night.”_

_She quipped, smiling proudly as she pulled out some different lotions, along with a few pink nail files and those little foam toe separators for pedicures. Atsuko chuckled a little under her breath. Sakura’s mother had been gracious throughout this entire week, trusting Atsuko completely to watch after her daughter and seemingly understanding of their friendship. She was a good woman._

_“Alrighty then. You can sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep in Sasuke’s.”_

_Atsuko offered and Sakura gave a nod, seemingly content with the faux nail salon she’d crafted, she turned her smile up towards Atsuko and fanned her hands out over the set up._

_“Okay! Pick a color.”_

_She encouraged, and Atsuko looked down to realize just how many bottles there were to select from. Easily 25 different colors, but a few of them were just different shades of pink. She hummed in thought before her eyes landed on a deep red shade and she reached out to grab the bottle with careful fingers, setting it in front of the young girl._

_“This one.”_

_Atsuko replied, rolling the sleeves of her black bath robe up to her elbows and laying her hands flat on the table in front of her. Sakura let out a pleased ‘hmph’ and went to work gathering the tools she would need from the spread in front of her. She gingerly took a hold of Atsuko’s left hand, using the nail clippers to even out the length of each nail, then pouting a little as she clipped some hang nails. Atsuko had managed to clean some of the dried blood from under her nails when she showered, but her cuticles and fingers were still decently red and raw from her habitual picking._

_“Why do you pick at your nails so much? It looks painful.”_

_Sakura questioned, genuine confusion in her voice. She was never one to beat around the bush, Atsuko realized. If she had something to say or a question to ask, she didn’t hesitate. Atsuko found it rather endearing. In a world where a man’s opinion or actions were often held over a woman’s, it was refreshing to see a young woman who didn’t allow those societal expectations dictate her movements. A fine Kunoichi indeed._

_Atsuko let out a soft sigh as the girl continued to file and snip her nails, obviously trying her best to make them presentable._

_“Well, without delving too deep into my past, I’ve always been an over thinker. Nervous and getting lost in my own thoughts. When I was young, I started picking at my nails whenever I was overwhelmed with those racing thoughts in an attempt to… ground myself. Or, relax even. So it just became a bad habit I can’t seem to kick.”_

_She replied, trying not to sullen the good mood too much. In all honesty, the pain helped her concentrate. But she didn’t need an impressionable young woman thinking that pain was a valid coping mechanism. There was a lull in the conversation as Sakura seemed to turn this over in her head and Atsuko found herself being swallowed by the sounds of rain hitting the windowsill outside, mixed with the soft pop song that was quietly pouring from the radio. She honestly couldn’t recall the last time she’d had a ‘Girl’s Night’. Most, if not all, of her friends were men. It had been like that since she was young. She’d never disliked women or been against having female friends, she always just found it easier to interact with men. She wondered if that was coincidence or if she craved any and all male attention due to her lack of a father figure._

_“Maybe you should get a stress ball or something.”_

_Sakura finally replied, tilting her head to the side as if she’d given her a truly thoughtful response. Atsuko only chuckled a little and shrugged her shoulders. It wasn’t a half bad idea._

_“Maybe. I took up embroidery for a while and that seemed to help. But I can’t exactly carry my needle working kit with me everywhere I go.”_

_Atsuko stated, causing the girl across from her to giggle a little. Then her brows furrowed in concentration and she looked up at Atsuko quizzically, her small hands still griping Atsuko’s fingers._

_“Is that why Sasuke has a pair of pants with a little heart on the waist? And his Ninja Tool bag has the Leaf Village symbol on it? Oh! And Kakashi-sensei has a yellow flower on his Jonin vest!”_

_She asked, like she was putting all of the pieces of the puzzle together. Atsuko giggled and nodded, her free hand coming up to grab her glass of wine from the table, taking a little sip._

_“Yeah, they were unfortunate enough to have clothing within needle and thread distance. The Ninja bag was a gift, though. So, entirely intentional.”_

_She replied after setting her glass back down, grinning as Sakura giggled to herself and went back to filing Atsuko’s nails. Both of the girl’s giggling died down slowly and again they were left with the sounds of soft music and rain. After a few moments, Sakura switched to Atsuko’s other hand, and it wasn’t until she’d started to paint her nails that the young girl spoke up again._

_“Atsuko-sensei… when did you know you were in love with Kakashi-sensei?”_

_She asked quietly, the sound of her voice just barely audible as the rain outside picked up and began pelting the windowsill with a newfound fury. Atsuko had caught her question immediately, however, and furrowed her brow in response as she considered her answer and the implications of Sakura asking her something like that. She knew that Sakura had a crush on Sasuke. Hell, everyone who’d talked to her for more than 5 minutes knew that. And she wasn’t alone. Almost all of the girls in her class shared similar feelings and, while the fawning did cause some issues from time to time, Atusko really couldn’t blame any of them. Sasuke was extremely talented and he portrayed this mysterious bad boy image that girls tended to fall for. He was also growing up to be quite a handsome young man. In fact, he was stunning. Just like Itachi and damn near all of the Uchiha men she’d met. They all seemed to share the same features. Dark eyes, strong jawlines and high cheekbones. In her years training Itachi, his mother, Mikoto, had tried to set her up on a couple dates with the men from the Uchiha clan and Atsuko had always politely declined. Simply because she wasn’t ready for any kind of commitment and she couldn’t very well use Mikoto’s kind heart to set her up with one-night stands. But she did recall a young man who’d caught her eye at the time, Shisui Uchiha. He was several years older than Itachi and a year or two younger than her at the time, but stunningly gorgeous and tremendously talented._

_Over the years, he would pop in and out of Itachi’s training sessions, clearly taking an interest in the boy and wishing to teach him some tricks of his own. Atsuko had found herself developing a crush and, before long, her heart sped up a little every time she saw him, blushing furiously and stuttering like a silly school girl in his presence. She smiled to herself a little sadly at the memory. They had all been so young… ignorant to what was to come. Or just blindly optimistic. After a few moments, she felt Sakura’s grip on her hand tighten a little and Atsuko jerked her head back up to see the young girl was staring at her expectantly. Maybe even a little concerned. Oh, right. Sakura had asked her a question!_

_Atsuko cleared her throat and nodded, blushing a little as being caught lost in such a tender memory._

_“Sorry, Sakura. Just lost in a memory. To answer your question…”_

_Atsuko trailed off for a moment, digging through a file of her time with Kakashi to see if she could determine an exact moment the realization that she’d loved him had hit her. A smile overtook her face and she nodded, seemingly content._

_“I figure you’re asking this question because of your feelings for Sasuke…”_

_  
  
She started, and Sakura immediately ducked her head back down, the stray pink hair falling around her face not near enough to cover the deep blush that had graced her face. Atsuko only chuckled and continued, bringing her free hand up to gently pat the top of Sakura’s head._

_“It’s alright. You don’t have to be embarrassed just because I’m his care-taker. I understand your feelings, and really, you can’t help it. He’s a gorgeous and talented young man.”_

_Atsuko advised, watching as the girl seemed regain a little confidence, quietly going back to painting her nails as she gnawed on her bottom lip. She really was a cute girl._

_“With that in mind, I need you to understand something about Kakashi and I. When I met him… it was like I had known him my whole life. I’m not sure how to explain it other than… it’s like I had always loved him. We understood each other from the first moment and I felt comfortable and safe with him immediately. In all honesty, it was very strange and I’m not sure what I’m about to tell you is going to shed any light on your situation. Because I truly believe Kakashi and I are a special case. If I believed in soul-mates… he’s mine.”_

_Atsuko started to explain, turning at one point to look out the window as the rain slowed down again. When she turned back, she found Sakura staring at her with wide eyes, sparkling with a hint of astonishment. Her expression caused Atsuko to chuckle a little and duck her head in response. She realized that what she’d said was intense, but it was the entire truth. She also realized that she’d never really told anyone that before, aside from Kakashi. It made her feel warm and damn near giddy, even though it was a thought she’d come to terms with years ago. It just felt more gratifying to tell someone else. Maybe she really did need to find some other girl-friends._

_“Sorry, I rambled a little. My point in telling you that is that… love isn’t the same for everyone. It’s not even the same every time you feel it. So, keep that in mind when I tell you this little story. I would say the moment I fully realized I was in love with Kakashi was a few years back. We’d been dating for a few months as this point and had gone out to the bar with a few friends. You know Gai-sensei? Kurenai and Asuma?”_

_Atsuko stopped her story to ask, and Sakura nodded in the affirmative, having finished her painting job. She was waving her hand over Atsuko’s nails, trying to get the paint to dry._

_“So, we went to the bar that night to catch up and relax. It was the first time Kakashi and I had gone out with friends as a couple, so we were both pretty nervous. Gai made a big show when we walked in holding hands. I think he may have even cried a little. It was dramatic and Kakashi blushed all the way to the tips of his ears. But I found it funny. Kurenai and Asuma were much more casual, congratulating us and what not. I had to answer most of the questions, however. You know Kakashi, he’s pretty reserved and all of the attention on his love life damn near gave him a heart attack.”_

_Sakura let out a giggle at the image Atsuko painted and nodded for her to continue. With a fond smile on her face, Atsuko started up again._

_“Now, I’m not here to give you a lesson on safe alcohol consumption. So, I’ll just tell you the truth. We all drank a lot more than we should have that night. And when I drink a lot, I have this nasty craving for a cigarette. Asuma let me have one and I stepped outside to get some air and smoke it. After a few minutes, I came back inside and as I walked back to the table, I saw Kakashi sitting, just chatting easily with his friends. Even with his mask on, I could see that lazy smile… You know the one he does where he closes his eye? That one. He laughed a little at something Asuma said and it just stopped me dead in my tracks. He seemed genuinely happy and relaxed… I’m not sure how to describe other than it felt like my heart was in a vice. All the air was pulled from my lungs. Hell, I teared up a little. I just had this overwhelming realization that I wanted him to smile like that all the time. I wanted to be the reason he smiled like that. Wanted to make sure I got to hear his laugh every day for the rest of my life.”_

_Atsuko was staring back at the window again, a fond smile on her face and a tear in her eye. Just telling that story felt like she was back there again, in the low light of the bar, watching Kakashi move in slow motion. She was still angry at him… but it would never last. She knew the moment she saw his face again she’d be putty in his hands. Just like she had been their entire relationship. She sniffled a little and turned back to Sakura with an embarrassed smile, chuckling in disbelief at how emotional the memory had made her._

_“Sorry about that… There were other times. Here recently, getting to go on some missions with you guys has given me plenty of moments like that one. Watching him fight is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed. But that memory just sticks out to me.”_

_She finally finished, taking the time to admire her newly painted nails, wondering why that particular shade of red had spoken to her. Atsuko glanced back up at Sakura, noticing the girl was staring down at her lap with a shy smile, her hands out of eyesight. She wondered if the young girl was recalling her own moment with Sasuke. Atsuko had no doubt that she genuinely thought she was in love with Sasuke, and she also knew it was entirely possible. However, that love would likely change over the years. Morph into something different or disappear entirely. For now though, Atsuko would let the girl feel the way she did with no policing or questioning. She would make a fine little girlfriend for Sasuke, if the boy ever decided that was something he wanted to pursue. Atsuko had a feeling he wasn’t interested in relationships at this point in his life. She often wondered if he was even interested in girls at all._

_“Want me to paint yours next?”_

_She asked quietly, breaking the silence. Sakura’s head snapped up in surprise, like she had forgotten she was with someone else. She blinked a couple times and that dark blush made its home on her cheeks again. She nodded and tentatively picked out a deep pink shade for her polish, wordlessly placing her hands on the table in front of her. Atsuko set to work, taking the girls smaller hand in her own as she began filing away and removing some of the chipped polish that was already there._

_“Ya know, Sakura… I see that you do care about Sasuke deeply and I also see that the boy cares about you more than you know. So, just keep being there for him when I can’t be, okay?”_

_Atsuko spoke up again, turning her eyes from the girls hands to her face. Sakura’s shy smile dissolved into a thin line of determination. She gave a curt nod, bowing her head in reverence._

_“Yes ma’am.”_

“Atsuko!”

Gai’s booming voice pulled Atsuko from her thoughts harshly. She jerked her head in the direction of the sound and found him standing in front of her, looking like he was ready to run. She realized quickly that she was in the middle of a deep squat and she stood slowly, her eyebrows furrowing as she wondered why the hell he seemed so worked up. Before she could ask though, what sounded like the loud crashing of water was heard in the distance. She turned her head towards the noise, trying to register just what the hell was going on. Then, she felt it. Her eyes went wide and she snapped back to face Gai.

“You feel something?”

He questioned, and Atsuko swallowed hard, only able to nod urgently. She’d know that chakra anywhere. Immediately, without thinking or having any time to consider what she was walking in to, she broke off in a dead sprint through the forrest and towards the chakra signature.

“Can you tell who it is?!”

  
Gai called from behind her, sprinting through the trees as he easily caught up. Without even glancing in his direction, Atsuko nodded, eyes unblinking and panic in her voice when she replied.

“It’s Itachi.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the sporadic upload time frames! I believe I am going to try and make it my goal now to get a chapter out once a week so everyone who keeps up with the story can have a specific day to look for a new chapter on. I'm thinking the next one will be done by Friday. So, let's just say from here on out I will be uploading on Fridays! 
> 
> Anywho! This was a nice little relationship building chapter and a little more insight into how everything has affected Atsuko thus far. Then a semi-makeup scene with Kakashi and a cute little memory with Sakura bc I love her dearly! Next chapter Itachi is back! We're gonna see some memories of her time training him (and some memories of her and Shisui since I know a couple of you were wondering if she knew him as well). Hold tight! And thank you all for your continued support.


	18. Ghosts from the Past and the Overwhelming Present

_“Atusko-sensei!”_

_A bubbling, light, voice called from behind her. She spun on her heel, a grin breaking across her tired face in preparation for the smiling boy she was sure to see running at her, full sprint. As expected, Sasuke was dashing across the forest clearing like he was on a mission, his toothy grin so massive it forced his dark eyes closed. His dark hair flapped around in the wind that was solely created by the speed of his run and he giggled incessantly behind clenched teeth. Atsuko dropped to her knees as he drew closer and when he ran into her chest full force, she just wrapped her arms around his small frame, lifting him off the ground a little and swinging him about. Sasuke let out several squealing laughs as Atsuko pulled back to pepper his face with kisses._

_“Stop! It tickles!”_

_He shrieked, still grinning so hard Atsuko thought the gesture must hurt his cheeks. She pulled back with a laugh of her own, releasing her grip on the child and settling him back on his feet. Her hand came up to fuss with some of the stray hairs that were glued to his forehead with sweat, stopping after a moment to pinch his blushing cheek. The boy giggled again and swatted her hand away, blush only deepening._

_“How’s my favorite little assistant, huh? Did you miss me that much?”_

_Atsuko teased, settling down and resting on the heels of her feet as she stayed kneeled to match Sasuke’s height. She’d been gone for almost two weeks on an Intel Mission with Tenzo. Since she’d begun training Itachi, Lord Third had avoided sending her on any missions that lasted more than a couple days. However, this one had turned out to be a can of worms and she’d been gone for much longer than intended. It honestly was the longest she’d gone without seeing Itachi and Sasuke in over a year, so her teasing question to Sasuke was really just a reflection of her own feelings. She’d missed both boys dearly while she was away and secretly hoped they’d felt her absence as well._

_Sasuke nodded eagerly, eyes going wide like she had no idea just how much he had missed her. Atsuko chuckled a little and reached out to wipe a smudge of dirt from his cheek as he began to speak, his facial expressions animated._

_“Yeah! I thought you were never gonna come back! But Itachi just kept saying you were working… I think he missed you too, though. He just didn’t wanna tell me.”_

_The young boy replied, dropping his voice to a whisper at the last part. The smile never left Atsuko’s face as she listened to Sasuke talk, his sweet little voice and adorable face never failed to envelop her whole. He was this innocent child. A walking-talking breath of fresh air._

_“I missed you too kiddo, more than you know. And Itachi too, but you know you’re my favorite. Just don’t tell him that.”_

_She teased again, heart jumping in her chest when he giggled in response and a bright pink blush spread across his face. His eyes went wide again after a moment, like he suddenly remembered something._

_“Oh! And Shisui asked where you were too! He told me to tell you ‘hello’ when you got back!”_

_Sasuke added, throwing in a little wave for effect as he bared his teeth at her once more in that cheek-splitting grin. It was Atsuko’s turn to blush now, her hand coming up to rub the back of her neck in a nervous gesture. Her smile faltered ever so slightly as the nerves overtook for a moment, but she managed to regain her composure. It was silly to have a schoolgirl crush on a boy who was a year younger than her, she realized. But she really couldn’t help those feelings._

_“Well, that was nice of him. I’m not sure when I’ll see him again, so if you see him before I do you tell him I said ‘hello’ back.”_

_Atsuko chirped, Sasuke giving a curt nod of determination and a ‘hmph’ in return as he accepted his new mission. A warm breeze blew through the wooded area, causing the trees surrounding them to rustle and pulling Atsuko from the interaction with Sasuke. She rose her head and looked over his shoulder, then craned her neck to look at either side of the clearing with a quirked brow. She turned her attention back to Sasuke, an accusatory look pulling at her face._

_“And speaking of, just where is Itachi? Did you run off and leave him behind again?”_

_She asked, watching Sasuke’s grin fall sheepish as he directed his eyes at the ground, his little hands clasped behind his back. Atsuko took this as her cue to rise back to full height, her hands immediately coming up to rest on her hips as she stared down at the boy._

_“Sasuke… We’ve talked about this. Itachi worries about you. You shouldn’t run off on him like that.”_

_She scolded lightly, causing the boy to jerk his head up and shake it violently._

_“No! Itachi said I could run ahead!”_

_He defended, eyebrows furrowed in the frustration of being scolded and misunderstood. Atsuko placed a hand on the top of his head, a physically touch to soothe his worries. Just as she was about to recant her statement, there was a rustle from the path in the tree line that Sasuke had previously appeared out of. She turned her head upwards in time to see her student enter the clearing. Long, dark, hair and the kindest eyes she’d ever seen on a person. He came into full view as he broke past the shade of the trees, walking leisurely with a warm smile on his young face. Atsuko couldn’t help the loving smile that tugged at her lips._

_“I did tell him he could go on ahead.”_

Itachi Uchiha. A legend of the Hidden Leaf. His genius and visual prowess were known far and wide in the Land of Fire. Even when he was just a child, fresh out of the Academy, he made a huge impression on anyone who had the pleasure of witnessing him in action. Just like everyone else, Atsuko had known of him before she was asked to train him in Genjutsu. She remembered their first meeting like it was yesterday. He was no more than 6 years old at the time, but she’d been immediately floored by him. Not just by his raw talent, though his mastering of several jutsu at so young was certainly impressive. The thing that blew her away were his eyes.

She’d been invited to their home by Fugaku, the chief of police and Itachi’s father. She recalled doing her best to conceal the dark circles under her eyes from several sleepless nights, though she knew she’d still left the house looking worn and tired. Nevertheless, Mikoto had welcomed her into their home gracefully, fixing her with a warm smile that Atsuko would never be able to forget. The warmth that radiated off of that woman had reminded her of her own mother. She was dignified and hardworking, expecting the best from her sons. But also protective and caring, evident in her bottomless patience when an infant Sasuke had begun screaming not 5 minutes into Atsuko being in the house. She watched as Mikoto tried to rock the restless baby to sleep, cooing in an attempt to silence him, offering him a bottle at one point only for a chubby hand to push the apparently offending object away, continuing his tantrum.

_“I’m so sorry about this. He just gets so fussy sometimes.”_

_Mikoto apologized profusely, barely audible over the so-called bundle of joy screaming in her arms. Atsuko had tried to remain polite, but in all honesty the high pitched screeching was starting to grate on her nerves in the worst way possible. Like finger nails on a chalkboard. Still, she gritted her teeth and forced a sympathetic smile._

_“It’s alright, really. You don’t have to apologize. He’s just a baby.”_

_Atsuko replied, her hands clasped in front of her a little awkwardly as they remained standing in the foyer for longer than either of them had anticipated. Mikoto had let her know that Fugaku and Itachi were on their way back from some late afternoon training and they should be arriving any minute. That was 15 minutes ago. 15 minutes of non-stop, unbearable, screaming. She honestly wondered if the child was in some kind of pain and her patience was starting to wear thin. Though she couldn’t very well turn down the only job offer she’d had in months, so she shifted her weight on her feet and wrung her hands together anxiously, fighting the urge to pick her nails. She didn’t want to overstep boundaries but it was clear that even Mikoto was exasperated by the child’s cries. Atsuko raised a tentative hand, getting the older woman’s attention._

_“If… if I could help in any way? I’m not very good with babies but I can uh… chakra? I can try to soothe him with my chakra? It’s worked before.”_

_She suggested, her voice coming out a little uneven, afraid she was crossing some kind of line. Still, her hand coated in a light version of her typically dark purple aura, just a barely shimmering lavender color. Mikoto’s eyes widened and Atsuko immediately lost her nerve, reading the gesture as fear or worry and dropping her hand back to her side, stuffing it into her pocket._

_“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to over-step or anything…”_

_Atsuko muttered out, dropping her head and staring at her shoes as her shoulders began to cramp up from the tension. After a few moments of awkward silence between to two women, she heard a door from deeper in the home open and the sounds of two sets of footsteps, all just barely audible past Sasuke’s shrill cries. She jerked her head up as Mikoto called down the hall to her left._

_“Ah, Fugaku, dear. This is the young woman Lord Third recommended for Itachi’s training!”_

_She introduced, sounding grateful for a change in subject as a large man came into the foyer as well. He was rather stern looking. A hard set jaw and and deep frown lines, with dark brown hair framing his stone face. As he drew closer, she noticed that he towered over her, though most men in the village did. Still, the way his eyes scanned her face made her palms infinitely more sweaty. She forced an unsure smile, still massively overwhelmed by the whole situation and Sasuke’s non-stop crying. Fugaku seemed to size her up quickly, extending his hand with a surprisingly soft smile._

_“Ah, yes. Atsuko Kamiyama, correct?”_

_He asked, voice deep and demanding attention. Atsuko swallowed hard and nodded quickly, careful to wipe her sweaty hand on the inside of her pocket when she pulled it out to meet his outreached hand. She was nervous, but she wasn’t weak. So she made a conscious effort to match his tight grip, shaking his hand firmly and watching his eyes widen a little at the gesture. He was clearly surprised by the confidence in her handshake despite the timidness in the rest of her composure._

_“Yes, sir.”_

_She replied, trying her hardest to find a voice as commanding as his, but only managing to sound mildly poised. Fugaku continued quickly after her introduction, folding his arms across his chest after she’d released his hand._

_“Hiruzen told me a little about you when he suggested you be Itachi’s trainer. A jonin with mastery in Genjutsu. It’s not common for a Shinobi to focus their talents on Genjutsu, unless they are an Uchiha. What made you pursue that path?”  
  
He asked, clearly sizing her up once again. Atsuko hadn’t been expecting that question. Typically, a ninja didn’t have much choice in what path they followed regarding Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, or Genjutsu. It was all about natural abilities and clan tradition. However, Genjutsu was a special exception. Anyone with a decent grip on chakra control could manage it, but it took a keen eye to master it. She also didn’t miss the way he referred to her as Shinobi. Not Kunoichi. It gave her a little confidence boost and she returned his question with a curt nod._

_“My clan has a knack for chakra control. So, my mother raised me with the same focus. Most of the Kamiyama before me used their talents for medical-ninjutsu but… I wanted to help with the war effort and had an eye for details, so it made more sense to focus in Genjutsu.”_

_She replied, knowing it was a little simplified. In all honesty, she could go on for hours about her love of Genjutsu. How important it was despite the general focus on Ninjutsu and Taijutsu. Solving problems with the mind rather than brute force. It had practical uses as well. Her years of Genjutsu training had also helped her in social settings, making her able to read emotions and pick apart motivations from something as simple as body language. It was all very fascinating to her._

_Fugaku seemed to accept her answer, nodding a little and then quirking a brow, apparently preparing another question._

_“The Kamiyama clan? Not sure I’ve ever heard of them.”_

_He replied, not coming across rude or arrogant, just a little confused. Atsuko nodded again, clasping her hands in front of her._

_“I would suspect not. I am the last living member as far as I am aware. Small bloodline. Lots of only children.”_

_She explained, heart beating a little irregularly at that thought. Last living member… There were a few beats of silence and Atsuko found she was relaxing ever so slightly. Fugaku seemed like a good man. His presence was strong and commanding, but also a little soothing in the strangest way. Safe. It was at this moment she realized… silence. There was silence! She could hear the wind just outside the front door and when her feet shifted she could hear the floorboards creak slightly. Her head turned immediately to where Mikoto had been standing with Sasuke, only to be met with a breathtaking sight._

_Standing in the foyer next to his mother was the boy she knew as Itachi Uchiha. He was tiny, she realized. Not just short, but thin as well and strangely elegant looking for such a young child. He had these massive, dark, eyes, downturned as he looked lovingly at a small bundle in his arms. Atsuko noticed that Itachi was now holding a completely content Sasuke. The baby no longer howling out those shrill cries, but instead letting out sweet coos and giggles when Itachi brought one of his hands up to wiggle his fingers in the baby’s face. Itachi turned his face up to look at Atsuko, a sweet unassuming smile on his face, and her heart quite literally slowed to an almost non-existent pace._

_The moment she’d met his eyes, it felt like all of her anger and resentment and anxiousness just… melted away. His energy was so kind and pure that it took her by surprise. Being able to sense chakra was a blessing and a curse. Often times she was overwhelmed by the sheer amount of unharnessed energy that surrounded her. Raging and flowing loudly with no real control or outlet. But this young boy… his presence was unlike anything she’d ever felt. His chakra was the definition of gorgeous and the energy that poured off of him was like having a cigarette first thing in the morning. It made her head swim a little the way it calmed her and eased her nerves. She returned his smile and gave him a lazy wave._

_“Hi. You must be Itachi?”_

_She asked, not really paying much attention to Fugaku or Mikoto anymore. Though she did notice the way the other woman was staring down at her son in grateful bewilderment. Itachi gave her a small nod, the kind smile never leaving his face._

_“Yeah. Are you going to train me in Genjutsu?”_

_He asked, tilting his head to the side a little in question. Atsuko looked over her shoulder at Fugaku, who seemed to still be regarding her interaction with his son. She turned her attention back to Itachi and gave a slight shrug._

_“I’m not sure yet. I would like to. I’ve heard you’re quite gifted.”_

_She replied, truly drawn in by the child. Itachi blushed a little, ducking his head down to look at Sasuke again. So, he was humble as well. Atsuko had a feeling almost every conversation he had with another person pertained to his natural abilities and talent. That thought almost made her a little sad, because she could tell he was a thoughtful boy just from the look in his eyes. He probably didn’t like all of the attention and fanfare. An idea popped into her head and before she could stop herself, she took a couple steps towards him._

_“But, I’d like to get to know you a little better if I am going to be your teacher. What kinds of things do you like besides training and learning jutsu?”  
_

_  
She asked softly, stopping just in front of him and squatting so they would be eye level. She peered down and noticed that Sasuke was a cute baby when he wasn’t screaming his head off. He wore a sweet little smile and he kept wiggling about, chubby arms flying up and grabbing at Itachi’s shirt. When she focused her attention back on the older boy, he was looking at her with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. She noticed his eyes darted over her shoulder, clearly looking at Fugaku for approval or some kind of command to answer her question. She assumed he got it when his dark eyes landed back on her, making unrestrained eye contact as another smile broke across his face._

_“I like reading. And Dango.”_

As Atsuko and Gai rushed through the trees in the direction of the sound from earlier and the unmistakable chakra signature, she found her vision blurring with hot tears. The memories that were flooding back were overwhelming to say the least. As a torrential wave of mixed emotions rained over her, she realized she couldn’t hear anything. Just the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears as her vision pigeon-holed until all she could focus on was the familiar energy getting closer and closer. There wasn’t any time to even consider why Itachi had returned, she just knew she had to get to where he was quickly.

Finally, she saw a break in the tree line and just beyond that she knew was the river that ran through the village. Itachi was there, she could feel it. Her feet dug into the branch beneath her, somehow propelling her forward even more quickly than before as her body ignored any laws of limitation. Right as she was about to break past the last of the trees, she came to a jerking halt as a strong hand wrapped around her forearm. Her feet skidded against the bark of the branch she was currently on and she almost lost her balance. Her head whipped around to glare at the offending person attached to the hand, only to find Gai staring back at her with concern and something akin to anger.

She knew her face was screwed up in fury and disgust, eyes wide and prepared to snap at him. How dare he stop her? Prevent her from seeing the one person on the planet she’d wanted to speak to in the last five years? Who the hell did he think he was? Itachi was right there! But when she saw his expression and realized just how fast her heart was beating, her resolve melted and she dropped her head forward with a sigh. Her shoulders were still tense with a feeling she couldn’t quite describe. Muscles and nerves on edge as her jaw clenched tightly to prevent her tongue from lashing out.

“Wait just a moment, Atsuko. Look.”

Gai warned, his voice pulling her back to reality harshly. She swallowed hard, finding her mouth was impossibly dry. Still, she tried to focus and not let her emotions get the better of her, so she nodded slowly and turned to look out at the river from their vantage point in the trees. Standing on the water in the middle of the river were five figures. Closest to Atsuko and Gai, with their backs to them, were Kurenai and Asuma, both standing rigid, poised to go on the defensive. Just in front of them, acting as some kind of shield was Kakashi. Her heart began to pound in her ears again and she had to fight the urge to jump down immediately and sprint to his side.

Then, just across from the three Jonin, she noticed who they were defending against. Two figures in black cloaks covered in a pattern of red clouds… One of the figures was significantly larger than the other and had a huge sword strapped to his back. She squinted for a moment to try and make out some distinguishing features. Blue skin, spiky dark hair and almost… fish-like eyes? Then it hit her. Kisame Hoshigake. She recalled him from her bingo book. One of the great swordsman of the Hidden Mist, and an S-Rank Rogue Ninja.

Her eyes darted to the man’s partner and, immediately, her heart stopped.

There he was.

Itachi Uchiha.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as soon as her eyes landed on him. He was a little taller than when she’d seen him last and his hair seemed longer, dark and silky as it fluttered in the wind. The bags under his eyes had gotten worse as well and she briefly wondered if he was taking care of himself properly. Despite that, he was still gorgeous as ever and his chakra held the same poised and calming nature she’d come to love. Oh god, there were so many things she wanted to ask him. She couldn’t imagine the pain he must be in, physically and emotionally. Her normal thought process had flown out the window as she was hit with wave after wave of raw emotion. Love. Fear. Fury. Sorrow. Somehow managing to keep her eyes trained on the scene in front of her but unable to formulate a plan to help.

She watched as Kakashi fell to his knees and her heart filled with dread, but still she managed to stay put for a few more moments as they assessed the situation. Knowing Itachi, he had likely used a Genjutsu on Kakashi. The Tsukuyomi maybe… this wasn’t good. She glanced at Gai to confirm he’d seen the action but he lifted a finger, a silent tell for her to wait just a moment more. Her nerves buzzed under her skin, but she knew he was right. Genjutsu wouldn’t kill Kakashi and if they could avoid a large scale fight by just waiting for a minute longer, that would be best. Then, as if the universe knew a call to action was needed, Kisame lunged towards Kakashi, drawing that massive sword from his back with a shout. No words or agreements needed to be exchanged as Atsuko and Gai jumped from their hidden position and headed for the battle ground.

In the literal blink of an eye, Atsuko and Gai both landed a powerful kick to the Rogue Shinobi while he was still in mid-run towards Kakashi. Gai dealt out his Leaf Hurricane, his knee landing against Kisame’s torso while Atsuko’s foot swung in a wide arc, coming into contact with the side of his head. The blow sent the blue skinned man sliding across the surface of the water, finally rolling and regaining his footing once he was back at Itachi’s side. Gai landed from the kick on his feet, creating a large splash of water while Atsuko came to rest in a kneeling position on the lake in a much softer fashion. She quickly rose to full height and, when the adrenaline of the moment drained away, there was a lull of silence on both sides.

Being face to face with Itachi was nothing like she’d expected. Maybe it was the adrenaline still pumping through her veins or the way she’d tried to detach herself from him over the years, but she found that the entire moment felt surreal. Like she was watching it happen from outside her own body, forced to be an impartial spectator to her own life. Now that she was able to see him more closely, she noticed that his hair was indeed longer and his eyes were not as soft as she remembered them. Hardened by a life on the run and from carrying the weight of what he’d done. He seemed to be set in a permanent glare, or… was he squinting because he couldn’t see very well? A breeze blew through, causing the water they were standing on to ripple and she watched as one of his elegant hands came up to push his dark hair out of his face. The simple action was almost in slow-motion as she continued to be lost somewhere between reality and viewing this moment as a third party. She was unable to stop the sigh of his name, letting it go with the wind as it slipped past her tongue.

“Itachi…”

Atsuko noticed how his eyes widened the tiniest bit and his Sharingan spun. Then, the lines on his face hardened again and she could tell he was preparing to play his role. The role of clan killer and wanted criminal. The one that had been forced upon him in his youth. He would show her no mercy. It was difficult for her to accept that she wouldn’t be getting the reunion she’d hoped for. She wouldn’t get the answers to all of her questions. Because he didn’t know she knew the truth and she couldn’t very well tell him that she did in front of everyone else. It was a stalemate, but she knew there was one thing she could do that might let him know the truth. Let him know that she understood and was doing everything she could to maintain his lie.

“He’s amazing.”

She managed, her brows drawn down and a sad smile on her lips. If Itachi was affected at all by her words, he didn’t show it save for a small twitch in his left eye. He still had her fixed with that uncaring expression, just shy of a glare. Her body tingled with the want to wrap him in her arms. To comfort him in anyway she could. Her throat burned with the words unsaid. The questions she so desperately needed answers to. She wanted to ask what the hell she was supposed to be doing with Sasuke. Was she supposed to support him in his goal of revenge like she had been doing? Or had she made the wrong choice? Was she supposed to deter him in some way? Help him the same way Itachi had inadvertently helped her. She needed to ask how he’d been. Talk about the old days and just enjoy his company again.

Despite the all encompassing emotions she felt, Itachi was still staring at her, face unmoving and showing no sign of returning her feelings. She heard Kakashi groan from behind her and that was all the push she needed to let go of the past for the time being. Itachi was not here to play catch up, clear by the way he’d obviously attacked Kakashi and the others. Her hands came up, coated in their signature dark chakra, and she took a defensive stance.

“Why are you here?”

She asked, allowing her eyes to filter to his partner for a moment as well, the question directed at both of them. She felt Gai shift beside her, presumably readying himself as well. Before they could get their answer, Kakashi groaned out behind them.

“Don’t… don’t look in his eyes. The Sharingan…”

He managed, before drawing in a ragged breath and coughing violently, seemingly exhausted by whatever Itachi had done to him in the literal second it had taken him to fall to his knees. Atsuko didn’t need to be told that, but she was grateful for his warning to Gai.

“Sharingan Genjutsu can’t affect me if I’ve stopped the chakra flow to my eyes."

  
  
She stated, shooting Itachi a confident smirk, locking gazes with him brazenly. He narrowed his eyes further in response. That was the downside to a non-Uchiha training him. She knew secrets about the Sharingan that most did not, and she could use them to her advantage. Gai on the other hand, seemed to have a different method.

“Ha! And in all of my years training to fight Kakashi, I have learned several of the Sharingan’s secrets as well. You don’t need to look into their eyes, if you watch your opponents feet you can tell exactly what their next move will be!”

He barked out beside her and, if the moment weren’t so tense, Atsuko would have laughed a little. Gai had simplified this entire fight in an instant, not fearing one of the most powerful visual jutsu’s in the world, because he just didn’t need to look at Itachi’s eyes. After a moment of near suffocating silence as each side sized up their opponents, Itachi’s lips parted and she quickly realized she was not prepared to hear his voice again. However, the universe disregarded her feelings harshly as he began to speak.

“Kisame. We should depart. These two… Might Gai and Atsuko Kamiyama. They have extensive combat experience against the Sharingan. The fight will get out of hand quickly. We shouldn’t draw anymore attention to ourselves than necessary.”

Itachi stated, voice calm and deep, making the hairs on the back of Atsuko’s neck stand up. He was like a ghost, she thought. A ghost of the boy she once knew. A monument of pain, bloodshed, and loss. All of the positive memories she had of him collided with the image of dried pools of blood on the Uchiha property. A young Itachi giving her that knowing, soft, smile overlaid with the image of Sasuke’s broken face, his sobs ringing out in her ears like a song she couldn’t quite escape. Still, her hands remained raised, ready to fight at any given moment. This would not be like those Chunin she couldn’t protect because of her own emotions. She wouldn’t allow her racing thoughts to consume her in a fight ever again. Her eyes went from glassy to determined in an instant.

Then, without any further words exchanged, Itachi and Kisame were gone in the blink of eye. The water they’d previously been standing on rippled from the force of their feet leaving it, but to Atsuko those ripples might as well have been waves. Crashing over her and forcing her underwater, filing her lungs with regret. She felt Itachi’s chakra signature fade and her knees shook a little when it felt like she couldn’t support the weight of her body anymore. He had been right in front of her… and yet-

“Kakashi!”

Kurenai’s voice rang out from somewhere behind her and Atsuko sucked in a deep breath, spinning on her heel to face the three Jonin she and Gai had jumped down to help. Kakashi was collapsed, having officially lost consciousness while Asuma held his slumped body against his chest. She moved forward immediately, her body moving before her mind had time to do anything.

“Let’s take him home…”

She said quietly, moving to drape one of his long arms over her shoulder while Asuma shifted to take the other side. She brought a couple shaking fingers up to press against Kakashi’s neck, letting out a sigh of relief when she felt his heartbeat was normal. A couple tears stung at her eyes as all of the emotions and the weight of the situation came crashing down on her. Still, she managed to blink them away and nodded at Asuma that she was ready to move him. He gave her a curt nod in reply, and all five of them set off for her home.

——————————————————-

Atsuko was fussing a little with the pillow behind Kakashi’s head, making sure it was even and that his head was resting against it properly. In all honesty, she was just trying to keep busy so she wouldn’t breakdown in front of her new guests. After she was content with the pillow, her hand came to rest on Kakashi’s forehead, pushing up his headband to a more comfortable position before deciding to remove it entirely, resting it on the nightstand. He didn’t look like he was in any pain, and she was grateful for that as she looked down at his sleeping face. A hand came out to brush along his cheek, cupping his jaw gently before she let out a gentle sigh and pressed a chaste kiss to his forehead.

“So, are you going to tell us what happened before we got there?”

Atsuko asked, taking one last look at Kakashi before turning to face her now crowded bedroom. Kurenai was seated on the wooden chair by her closet, her legs crossed properly and her hands folded in her lap. Her ruby red eyes were turned down, staring at her hands with an almost solemn expression. Demure and calm as ever. Standing just next to her, leaning against Atsuko’s dresser, was Asuma. He stayed close to Kurenai, she’d noticed. Ever since they were young he took on the roll of her protector. Her friend? No, it was more than that. His muscular arms were folded tightly across his broad chest and he looked past Atsuko to where Kakashi was laid in their bed. Based on appearances, Asuma was rugged and tough looking, but he had a heart like no other and Atsuko knew he was worrying deeply about his friend in this moment. Then, her eyes filtered over to the foot of the bed where Gai had taken up residency, sitting with his elbows on his knees, leaning forward with ever growing curiosity. Though his shoulders were still visibly tense.

“Kurenai and I ran into Kakashi outside the tea shop… He was waiting for Sasuke, but he was on edge. Those two… Kisame and Itachi, we noticed them immediately, but we didn’t know who they were. They were inside the shop one second, and after Sasuke walked up, they were gone. Kakashi gave us the go ahead to check them out.”

Asuma started and Atsuko’s eyes widened. She knew Sasuke wasn’t home, he would have come out of his room at the sound of them dragging Kakashi inside. Still, she rose her finger to instruct Asuma to stop talking and went over to shut her bedroom door, just in case he came home. She walked back to the center of the room, sitting down on the side of the bed that Kakashi was not currently occupying.

“Did Sasuke notice them?”

She asked, her voice a little low and Asuma shook his head, eyes filtering over to glance out the window for a moment. Shinobi… even in the comfort of a friends home, always watching their surroundings.

“No, I don’t think so. Kurenai and I went after them after they left the shop and found them where you found us. Kisame attacked me and Kurenai tried to trap Itachi in a Genjutsu-“

It was almost painful to suppress the scoff that threatened to tear it’s way out of Atsuko’s throat. Trapping Itachi Uchiha in a Genjutsu? The very idea was laughable. Still, she maintained her composure as Asuma continued.

“They got the upper hand on us pretty quick. Then Kakashi stepped in and managed to pull Itachi’s attention away from Kurenai. After that, you saw most of what happened. Kakashi was fine one second, then he was collapsed, yelling at us to close our eyes.”

He finished, and Atsuko nodded slowly, staring down at where Kakashi slept next to her. She wasn’t sure if he was just exhausted from whatever Genjutsu Itachi had used or if this was something more serious… She knew he hated the hospital, but it was likely best to get him moved there and checked out if he didn’t wake up by the morning. But, Asuma’s recounting of events really didn’t answer the questions she had, so she turned her attention back to him.

“Did they say anything about why they were here? Was it about Sasuke?”

She asked, having a feeling that it had nothing to do with the young boy. If it had just been Itachi on his own, maybe. But he and Kisame were wearing matching robes. Clearly part of some organization and if that was the case it wasn’t likely that this organization would sponsor such a personal mission. She also had no fear that Itachi would try to hurt Sasuke. She knew he’d left Sasuke alive for a specific reason. Maybe that’s why she was as calm as she was in this moment.

“No. Kakashi asked him the same thing. Itachi said they were here for a certain item. ‘The Legacy of the Fourth Hokage.’”

Asuma responded, going to light the cigarette in his mouth, then glancing at Atsuko as he held the lighter just in front of it. She waved her wrist and nodded, giving him permission to smoke in the room and watching as he wandered over to crack the window. Her shoulder’s relaxed after getting confirmation that Sasuke was not a part of the agenda, and that he was safe for now. The Legacy of the Fourth Hokage… She turned this phrasing over in her head, wondering what it could possibly mean. Then, her eyes landed on the framed picture of Team 7 that Kakashi kept on his nightstand and the answer hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Naruto…”

She muttered under her breath, feeling every set of eyes in the room turn to look at her. But before they could discuss that any further, her bedroom door began to creek open. Every single head whipped in the direction of the voice coming from the other side.

“Atsuko-sensei, have you seen Kakashi?”

Sasuke asked as he pushed the bedroom door open and entered the room. Her eyes were wide in surprise, but she tried to reel it in and think of a good lie for the next inevitable question. Sasuke looked around the room, brows furrowed in concentration and confusion, then they widened a little as he spotted Kakashi in the bed. He turned his scrutinizing gaze back to Atsuko,

“Why the hell is he sleeping? We were supposed to get lunch and train and then he just disappeared on our way to the ramen stand.”

  
  
He asked, stepping further into the room as his accusatory tone rang out. He thought Kakashi was just sleeping? Lord, she thanked her lucky stars that he could be so dense at times. Just as she was about to gear up her lie about Kakashi being sick and rushing home to puke, she heard another set of footsteps rushing down the hallway and the bedroom door swung open with more force this time. Again, every set of eyes snapped up to see who the new intruder was, except Sasuke who remained fixated on Atsuko’s face.

“Genma…?”

Kurenai muttered from her spot in the corner of the room, and before anyone could say much more, the senbon wielding Jonin began to speak like he was in a hurry.

“Hey, Atsuko, is it true that you guys ran into Itachi in the village? And he came back looking for Naruto?”

He questioned, clearly just trying to determine what needed to be done. But as the words spilled from his mouth, Atsuko wanted nothing more than to shove that goddamn senbon into the back of his throat and watch him choke on his own blood. There was a deathly silence after his question and Atsuko visibly winced when he gaze fell back on Sasuke. He was looking at her with that fire in his eyes, but not the kind of challenging glint she loved. No, he looked like he physically wanted to run through her with his Chidori. Past the initial wave of anger and confusion, she saw an emotion in his eyes that she feared the most. Betrayal.

“What? Itachi was HERE?”

Sasuke yelled, shattering the uncomfortable silence like a brick through a glass window. Atsuko couldn’t stop the way her body cringed if she’d tried with all her might, flinching at the hurt and anger in his voice as she fought to keep her eyes from squeezing shut. Her jaw locked up as she bit down on nothing. She couldn’t look him in the eyes again, opting to focus on the space between his eyebrows.

“Sasuke…”

She sighed out, going to stand from the bed and approach him, but before she could even rise to full height, he was turning heel and sprinting out of the bedroom, shoving his way past Genma. The other Jonin seemed to realize his error as soon as Sasuke had turned around, left standing in the doorway with a stupefied expression on his face. Atsuko let out a pained sigh, turning to look at the three other Jonin in the room as she began to walk backwards towards the door.

“Please, you guys keep an eye on Kakashi. I’ll go see if I can catch up to him.”

She requested, before turning on her heel and sprinting past Genma as well, muttering ‘dumbass’ under her breath in passing. This was quite literally the worst-case scenario. If Sasuke managed to catch up with Itachi before she could stop him, she knew he would try to confront his brother and it would only end badly. Sasuke was getting stronger every day, but he still wasn’t anywhere near strong enough to take on Itachi and win. The panic began to set in, but Atsuko just had to have faith that Itachi wouldn’t kill Sasuke. Not after everything. No way. Then she remembered the coldness in his eyes from before. He’d looked like he could have struck her down without batting an eye.

Trying her hardest to stay level headed, she considered Sasuke’s next move. Genma had let it slip that Naruto was the one Itachi was after… so, Sasuke would try to track down Naruto before Itachi could. That would be her start. She took to the rooftops, heading for Naruto’s home.

———————————————————————————

By the time Atsuko reached the outpost town outside of the village, she was positively sure she was too late. When she found that Naruto wasn’t home, she hadn’t thought to check Ichiraku first. Instead, she’d gone to the training grounds and done a thorough search there, effectively wasting at least 15 minutes. Thankfully, she’d run into Team Gai (she was also sure they lived at the training grounds) and Tenten had informed her that they’d seen Naruto and Jiraiya heading towards Ichiraku earlier in the day. That’s where she’d finally gotten the information on their whereabouts, and the man running the stand had let her know Sasuke had stopped by to ask the same question not 10 minutes prior.

Now, she was darting from building to building in the small outpost town. Ducking into hotels and bars asking if anyone had seen a dark haired boy, or a loud blonde boy accompanied by a much older man. Every single one was a dead end. That was until she saw a hotel at the end of the road she was on. This was one was different from the others, she realized… It had a massive hole in the wall of the second floor. She could physically feel the blood draining from her face, her nose growing cold despite the warm summer air. Focusing all of her energy she tried to feel for Itachi’s chakra and when she came up empty, she scaled the building and entered through the hole in the wall, her body acting of its own accord.

She took a second to observe her immediate surroundings. The hole in the wall lead to a standard hotel hallway. Worn wooden floors and slightly tacky wallpaper, the lights that hung overhead only made the sick feeling in her stomach worse as they flickered. Standing about halfway down the hallway, in the junction of another wing, were Naruto and who she assumed was Master Jiraiya. The blonde haired boy was staring at her, wide eyed and a little panicked, but he seemed to relax a little when he realized who she was. The older man standing next to him seemed a little cautious still as he looked her over, squinting his eyes slightly. She’d only ever heard stories about the Sanin, so she was a little thrown off by his appearance. He was tall. Actually, that was understatement. He was massive. Even from as far away as she was she knew he’d tower over her. Despite the scrutinizing look he gave her, he actually had quite kind eyes, she noticed. But it was hard to focus on the rest of his facial features when the large white mane of hair he sported demanded the majority of her attention.

“Atsuko-sensei?”

She barely registered Naruto’s voice calling to her from down the hallway. Content that the people in the room were not a threat to her, her eyes found and fixed on Sasuke, slumped unconscious against the wall. She rushed to him, completely disregarding the other presences as she fell to her knees at the boys side. A wave of panic rushed over her when she noticed the blood coming from Sasuke’s mouth and his seemingly dead eyes. Tears welled in her eyes and she reached out a shaking hand to press two fingers against his throat. The second it took for her to feel his heartbeat felt like an eternity. Like her worst nightmare was unfolding in real time. She pressed harder against his throat, desperate to feel anything that let her know he was alive. Her vision started to darken around the edges and she could hear the rush of her own blood in her ears.

_Thud._

_Thud._

Her hand fell away from his neck as she felt his heartbeat and she doubled over, gasping for air a little as hot tears welled in her eyes. Thank god… He was alive. She took a few steadying breaths and raised back up, lifting her hand to wipe away the blood from his mouth.

“Atsuko? Who?”

She barely registered Jiraiya speaking behind her, his voice pulling her back to reality. Then Naruto piped up.

“Sasuke’s mom.”

Atsuko was too busy checking Sasuke’s vitals to correct Naruto this time. She took a moment to count his heart beats, make sure his breathing sounded clear, then peeling his eyelids open to check his pupils. He seemed to be in the same comatose state as Kakashi, which meant Itachi had likely used the Tsukuyomi on Sasuke as well. Still, he was alive. So, she tried to focus on where to go from here. She knew it would take a skilled medical ninja to wake him, and she would do everything in her power to help. Carefully, she rose to full height to finally address the other two people in the hall, but she stayed close to Sasuke, almost standing in front of him. Protective.

“I apologize for the lack of introduction. Atsuko Kamiyama. I am not Sasuke’s biological mother… but, I do consider him my son. You must be Master Jiraiya… one of the three Legendary Sanin?”

She asked, outstretching her hand to meet the older man in a handshake. Now that she had a moment to take in her surroundings, she saw the wall of the hallway just behind Naruto was shredded. She’d seen Sasuke practice his Chidori in recent weeks, so it was easy to determine that he’d been the one to cause that damage. Running down the hall with that unstable ball of lightning chakra in his palm… running at Itachi? She turned her eyes back up to Jiraiya as he released her hand. Now that she was closer, she was able to study his face more thoroughly. His angular eyes were indeed kind looking, with red lines of face paint trailing down from them like tears. A wide chin and sturdy jaw, topped off with a large mouth that seemed to be fixed into a perpetual smirk. The laugh lines around the corners suggested he was a happy man. He looked… so familiar it was honestly a little unsettling.

“Yeah. That’s me. I thought you were too young and pretty to be Itachi’s mother.”

He confirmed, following up the introduction with a teasing comment. A flirt, even in a situation as tense as this one? It threw her off a little. That ghost of a smirk on his face seemed to make perfect sense now. In other circumstances, she may have even found him handsome. But now was definitely not the time for him to be tossing around throw away flirtatious remarks, so she just fixed him with an unimpressed glare.

“Did he manage to land a blow on Itachi?”

Atsuko asked pointedly, turning her back on him to crouch down by Sasuke’s side again, gingerly checking his limbs for any visible physical injuries. That’s when she noticed the darkening bruise around his throat, her hand ghosting over it and swallowing hard as she realized what had caused it.

“No. He tried. Itachi put him in a Genjutsu.”

Jiraiya replied quickly, dropping the teasing lilt in his voice in favor of a more serious tone. Atsuko sighed softly in response, fighting the urge to cry yet again. There was really no time to consider the repercussions of this now. She could cry about it later, when Sasuke was hospitalized and safe.

“The Genjutsu Itachi used… the Tsukuyomi, its lasting effects are strong. He’s in a coma… I think the only way he’s going to come out of it is if I can somehow find an incredible medical-ninja…”

She trailed off, unable to keep up the facade anymore as her breath hiccuped in her chest and she dropped her head forward. The tears started to come slowly, no matter how hard she tried to fight them. She buried her face on the top of Sasuke’s head, fighting down the choked sobs until they were just barely audible whimpers. This could be permanent. What if he never woke up? What the hell had happened here? Why would Itachi do something like this to him? He was the only one he’d let live during the Massacre… Nothing made sense and with Kakashi in the same state, she was alone again. God, this wasn’t even close to being about her and it was selfish to think that way. But she couldn’t stop the aching emptiness that hollowed out her chest and left her gasping for air. Every time she closed her eyes all she could see was Sasuke’s glassy, almost dead looking eyes staring right back at her.

After several moments of crying, she felt a small hand clasp her shoulder. She jerked her head up at breakneck speed and peered over at whoever had dared to get close to her in this moment. Only to be met with Naruto’s sweet face, screwed up in determination as he looked down at Sasuke. It made her realize that she had to get a grip, to stop the water works and be strong for Sasuke. For Kakashi. She was alone but that just meant it was up to her to bring them back.

“I-I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

She muttered out, bringing her hand up to wipe the tears away as she managed to get her breathing back under control.

“We just so happen to be on our way to finding a medical ninja just like that. Honestly, probably the only one in the world who can help.”

Jiraiya spoke up from behind her, still keeping the serious tone but she could tell it was underlaid with something else. Pride? Hope? Something positive she couldn’t put her finger on in the moment.

“Yeah, Sasuke’s mom! Me and Pervy Sage are gonna bring back this great medic ninja to the Hidden Leaf! And she’s gonna fix Sasuke! Believe it!”

Naruto chimed in, giving her that completely confident smile, baring his teeth and scrunching his eyes shut. Atsuko’s heart warmed at the child trying to comfort her, knowing he either truly believed everything would be okay or he was putting on a brave face for her. Either way, it also made her feel a little weak. She shouldn’t need to be coddled by a child. So, she steeled her heart and gave the boy a sad smile, leaning forward to press a kiss to his headband where it rested on his forehead.

“Thank you, Naruto…”

She muttered as she pulled away, noticing that his eyes were wide in shock and a thick blush had spread across his cheeks. The sight pulled a genuine smile from her and she turned her attention back to Jiraiya, hovering behind Naruto with his arms crossed and shoulders straight. Despite his ill timed and inappropriate comment, she figured he was a trustworthy man. Just like everyone else, she was aware of who he was and what he was capable of. A man of that stature would surely be able to follow through on what he’d said. He looked down at the back of Naruto’s head with nothing short of an adoring smile and the expression tugged her heartstrings in the strangest way. Looking at him felt so… nostalgic? Even though she’d never met him before.

“I assume you all are going to look for Tsunade? One of the other Sanin?”

Atsuko asked, to which Jiraiya nodded in response. She knew of Tsundae as well. Hell, everyone did. The tales of the Legendary Three Sanin had been the bedtime stories her mother had told her as a child. The praise they’d received from even the most feared of Shinobi. Winding tales about their perseverance on the battlefield, even when the odds were stacked against them. Maybe that’s why she felt so nostalgic when she looked at him… that had to be it.

“Yeah. I have pretty good lead on where she might be. Should only take a couple weeks…”

He replied, a hand coming up to rub his chin in thought as Atsuko turned to look at Sasuke again. She gave a curt nod and moved to scoop the boy up in her arms, bridal style with his head resting against her chest. In this moment, the weight of him was non existent. She would carry him to the ends of the earth if it meant his safety and wellbeing without a single complaint.

“Thank you… I’ll make sure he gets back to the village safely. If you would… when you find Tsunade… let her know that I’ll be forever in her debt if she can help Sasuke. For the rest of my life.”

She stated with finality, wanting nothing more than to be out of this town and get Sasuke to the hospital where she could finally let go. Cry. Yell. Anything was better than keeping up this strong act for another millisecond. Jiraiya just nodded and she turned to take her leave. Just as she was about to head for the stairs on the far end of the hallway, she heard his voice call out behind her again.

“You’re last name. You said it was Kamiyama? You wouldn’t happen to know an Akari Kamiyama, would you?”

Jiraiya questioned, stopping Atsuko dead in her tracks as she turned on her heel to look back down at the hall with wide eyes. How in the hell did he know he mother’s name? Fighting the shock, she cleared her throat and gave a single nod.

“That’s… She’s my mother.”

She answered, tilting her head to the side a little when his eyes twitched, barely noticeable, and he swallowed harshly. He knew her mother? In all of her childhood, all the times her mother told her stories about the Sanin, she had never mentioned knowing one of them personally. So personally in fact that Jiraiya looked like he’d seen a ghost at the mere mention of Atsuko being her daughter. Suddenly, something clicked for her. The reason the teasing full lipped smile he wore and the slant of his eyes seemed so familiar… it was because she saw those same features in the _mirror_ every morning.

A cold sweat broke out across her body and her eyes widened at the thought. Her mouth went completely dry and she was hit with the sudden urge to vomit. No way. No fucking way. Not today. Absolutely not. She clenched her teeth together in defiance of the thought and immediately turned heel to head down the stairs as quickly as possible with the boy still nestled in her arms.

Oh god, she needed to get back to the village immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright boys, I've had THAT little plot twist in the back pocket for quite sometime now and it has killed me to not give it away too easily hahaha! I'm not super happy with like... the middle of this chapter. I got from point A to point B, but I'm not in love with the way I did it. ANYWAY. Next chapter is going to be a lot of memories involving Itachi and Sasuke and Atsuko's mom as she waits by Kakashi and Sasuke's bedside. See everyone next Friday and thank you all again for your lovely feedback and comments! Sometimes they are the only thing that keeps me writing <3


	19. Momentos and Purgatory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one boys, so buckle in. I listen to a lot of music when I'm writing these chapters so I've decided I'm going to start included some of the songs that inspired me throughout the writing process if you guys want to listen to get into the headspace. 
> 
> Crying All the Time - Alexandra Savior  
> It Will Rain - Bruno Mars (alright listen I was a Twilight stan back in the day and this one actually made me cry while writing)  
> Beautiful Boy - John Lennon   
> Miracle Aligner - The Last Shadow Puppets

_“Hey, momma. Do I have a dad?”_

_Atsuko asked as she sat at the kitchen table, short legs swinging from her spot on one of the large, wooden, chairs. Momma was moving around the kitchen as she prepared dinner, chopping up vegetables and meat and stopping every so often to wash the dishes all of the preparations created. It was a question that had been plaguing Atsuko for a few weeks now and her brain was searching for a distraction from the homework laid out on the table in front of her, so she’d finally addressed the issue._

_Momma stilled the knife she was using to slice some carrots with a gentle sigh. There were a couple beats of silence and Atsuko decided to focus on the sound of the skillet sizzling on the stove to fill the void. She didn’t like the quiet. Then, Momma turned around and looked down as she wiped her hands on her apron, Atsuko turning her large questioning eyes back in her direction. Momma was beautiful, even if she was a little sweaty from standing in front of the stove. She had wavy, dark, hair that she let Atsuko braid sometimes and Momma’s smile always made her feel happy and safe. She gave really good hugs and always smelled like flowers._

_“You do… he just can’t be with us right now.”_

_Momma replied in the same voice she used whenever Atsuko was sad or upset. Soft and sweet. Atsuko’s eyebrows knitted together and she pouted a little as she considered this._

_“Why?”_

_She asked, turning her questioning expression back up towards Momma, who only sighed and reached over to click the stove top off. She moved around the kitchen table, pulling out the chair next to Atsuko and sitting down with her legs crossed and hands in her lap._

_“Well, your father is a very important man. He’s busy keeping the village safe from bad guys. That’s his job, so he can’t be here right now because he’s making sure everyone is safe.”_

_Momma said, reaching out to push a wild hair behind Atsuko’s ear in a loving motion. Atsuko nodded slowly, her pout slowly morphing to a thin mouthed determination._

_“Like the man who came to talk to our class, Minato. And Lord Third?”_

_She asked, tilting her head to the side as her eyes went wide with admiration. Was her dad really someone like that? A strong Shinobi fighting for the village’s safety? Just like she was going to be one day!_

_“Yes, just like them.”_

_Momma responded, and Atsuko noticed she was smiling again, making that warm feeling bloom in her chest. Maybe she’d see her dad again soon and he would smile like that too. And teach her new jutsu’s and pick her up from class like some of the other kid’s dads did._

_“Do you think he won’t be busy soon? And I could see him? What’s he like?”_

_  
  
Atsuko asked with a newfound excitement, giving Momma a wide smile of her own._

_“I don’t know if we’ll be able to see him any time soon… but he’s a very good man. He’s strong, handsome, funny, and he likes to write. You remind me of him sometimes when you’re practicing your jutsu. Your hair color is like mine, but its wild and messy like his. And you have his mouth… both your lips and the things you say sometimes.”_

_Momma said, never losing her warm smile as Atsuko’s eyes only widened in fascination, her hand coming up to touch her unruly hair with a grin on her face. She conjured this mental image of a tall man with long, wild, hair and a smile like hers with kind eyes like Momma. A Hidden Leaf headband tied around his forehead and wearing one of those green vests as he twirled a kunai on his fingers like the cool Jonin she’d seen around the village. But then she remembered the Shinobi at the hospital that Momma worked at, coming in on those stretchers all bloody and bruised. A frown overtook her face and she looked down at her lap as her hand fell from her hair._

_“Do you think he’s okay? Do you think he misses us when he gets hurt?”_

_She asked, suddenly emotional over a person she’d never met. Momma always said she had a heart big enough for the whole village and that she took things too personally… She heard a soft sigh come from Momma and then there was a hand on her chin, raising Atsuko’s head up to meet her soft, honey colored, gaze._

_“I’m sure he’s okay and I’m sure he misses you like crazy… But don’t worry, when I said he was strong I meant it. He’s one of the strongest men in the whole world and he’s got a heart just as big as yours. He’s just fine.”_

_Momma promised, and Atsuko immediately found solace in her words, eyes widening and twinkling with a couple tears. She scrunched them shut and nodded eagerly, a smile returning to her face when Momma leaned out and placed a warm kiss on her cheek._

_“Now, let me finish dinner and maybe I can tell you a little more about him.”_

Looking back on that memory now, the hairs on the back of Atsuko’s neck stood up. She couldn’t be sure if it was solely the memory or the entirely too cold air conditioning in the hospital room she was currently sat in… but either way, her nerves were on edge and she found herself picking at her fingernails in earnest.

She’d known the truth before she’d returned to the village with Sasuke in her arms. The final moment she’d locked eyes with Jiraiya had caused something within her to shift jarringly. It was like she was looking in a funhouse mirror. Like that feeling she’d had when she’d first met Kakashi but magnified beyond comprehension. An instant connection that could only be explained by sharing the same blood. The realization that washed over her in that instance had been an emotion she’d truly never experienced before and would have trouble describing for the rest of her life.

Despite the earth shattering conclusion, or perhaps because of the adrenaline it had filled her with, she’d made it back to the village with Sasuke in record time. Upon rushing him to the hospital, she’d found that Gai and Asuma had already decided to move Kakashi there as well. So, upon her request and after the medic-nin had confirmed that Sasuke was indeed in the same Genjutsu induced coma as Kakashi, they’d placed both of them in the same hospital room. Everything that had occurred in those few hours had felt like a lifetimes worth of experiences and when the nurses had finally left her alone in the room with Sasuke and Kakashi’s unconscious bodies, she’d finally been able to breakdown in private.

_“Okay, dear… we will send someone every few hours to check their vitals but they both seem relatively stable all things considered. Unfortunately, it’s really just a waiting game now… Their minds were so exhausted from whatever that Genjutsu put them through that they just… shut off. I’ve seen this before - and I’m so sorry to say this - but there really is no telling when they’ll wake up.”_

_The young nurse stated as Atsuko sat on the edge of Sasuke’s bed, her hand cradling his jaw and fingers brushing through his hair. It just looked like he was sleeping soundly and she couldn’t help but think maybe her touch would wake him. Or at the very least comfort him in his dream state. She turned her gaze away from him reluctantly to look at Kakashi in the bed right next to them, his mask still covering half of his face. She felt a little better knowing that they were both in good hands. In the hospital where someone could help if anything went wrong. But the gravity of the situation still hadn’t fully hit her yet._

_She turned her eyes up to meet the soft green eyes of nurse. Her nametag read ‘Hatsu’ and she wore her blonde hair in a tight bun on the back of her head. She’d been the one to assist Atsuko from the moment she’d entered the hospital with the young boy cradled in her arms and her presence over the last couple hours had been a welcomed one. A kind woman with a soft voice who’d managed to be almost a support for her while the medic-nin had poked and prodded at Sasuke. She’d brought her water and kept her updated on everything that was happening. Silently, Atsuko hoped the young woman would continue to work with Sasuke and Kakashi throughout this process. She knew she was desperately latching onto any softness and kindness in her vulnerable state, clinging to anything that made her feel some semblance of stability._

_“My suggestion to you would be to get some rest yourself. Have a friend escort you home to shower and pack some things, since I’m sure you won’t want to leave their side. But I would suggest getting some sleep in your own bed tonight and returning in the morning if you can manage it.”_

_Hatsu added, holding the clipboard to her chest tightly with one arm. Atsuko was staring at the piece of wood with a glassy expression, hearing her words but not really ready to let them register. She only seemed to be pulled from her dazed state when the nurse drew closer and placed a comforting hand on Atsuko’s shoulder. The move caused her head to jerk up and stare at the woman’s face in mild bewilderment._

_“This process… it can be a long and difficult one. But understand that the best way for you to be here for them is to also take care of yourself. If you need us to send for someone to come escort you, I’ll handle it. And if you do decide to come back tonight, I’ll see about having a cot set up in the room so you can sleep.”_

_She offered, dropping her hand from Atsuko’s shoulder with a final reassuring smile before turning to head for the door. Before she could leave the room, Atsuko piped up from her spot on Sasuke’s bed, the thin hospital sheets crinkling loudly as she rotated to follow the young woman’s movements with her eyes._

_“W-why are you being so kind to me?”_

_Atsuko asked, the exhaustion and weariness visible on her face as she fixed Hatsu with a curious expression. The nurse let out a soft sigh, turning to approach her from the opposite side of the bed. Atsuko noticed the way her eyes fell to Sasuke’s sleeping face with genuine sadness before turning back to meet her eyes._

_“These two… your husband and your son both falling ill at the same time. I can only imagine what that must be like for you. When you came in with the boy, I could see how scared you were for him. Even now, when you look down at him and the other patient, I can see how much you love them. So… because there isn’t much we can do, I want to do whatever I can to make you comfortable. You don’t see a lot of that in this job. So many nameless and faceless Shinobi rotate in and out of here with no loved ones ever coming to check on them… but this is different. I hope they wake up soon.”_

_Hatsu replied thoughtfully, her voice full of nothing but honesty and empathy. Her kind words brought a small tear to Atsuko’s eyes and she quickly reached up to rub it away, sniffling slightly. She drew in a ragged breath and nodded fervently, turning her eyes up towards the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling. This woman radiated such kind energy, and the fact that she was still able to empathize after the number of horrible things she’d probably witnessed… It was beautiful and she welcomed the warmth on what had been such a cold and unforgiving day._

_“Thank you… Hatsu, that’s your name? Is there any way I could make sure you continued to be their nurse? If you want to, that is.”_

_Atsuko asked, dropping her head to make eye contact with the woman again. Hatsu returned her question with a close eyed smile, tilting her head to the side slightly._

_“Of course. I’ll speak with the matron, it shouldn’t be an issue.”_

_Hatsu answered, giving her another reassuring smile before exiting the room and giving Atsuko some much needed privacy. Immediately upon the door sliding shut, she collapsed forward and buried her face in the blanket at the foot of Sasuke’s hospital bed. Hot tears welled in her eyes and she found she was unable to form a single coherent thought as the sobs began to wrack through her body._

_It was all too much. She couldn’t do this. There was no one to turn to and the two most important people in her life were both in a possibly irreversible coma. Gasping desperately for any air she could find, she reached out blindly to grip Sasuke’s hand, only to jerk away in shock when she felt how limp it was in her grip. Another sob tore its way out of her throat and she bit down hard on the meat of her palm to prevent from letting out the scream that burned in her lungs. This whole situation was like someone had pulled it directly from her worst nightmares and no matter how hard she tried she wasn’t able to wake up from it._

_The room felt like it was closing in on her as she struggled to breathe, the buzzing from the overhead lights had become so deafening that she physically had to cover her ears. Pain radiated through her bones as the adrenaline she’d been running on began to leave her body, only leaving behind an excruciating emptiness as the loss of purpose truly hit her. There was nothing she could do but lay here and cry and sob and just pray to god that everything would be okay. That they would wake up. It was all out of her control and she cursed herself for not jumping down sooner to help Kakashi. Or being faster to catch up to Sasuke. It all felt like her fault and she couldn’t even make it right._

Atsuko had cried for several hours, throughly soaking the top blanket on Sasuke’s bed and exhausting herself even further. Eventually, Tenzo had shown up to check on the situation and had insisted on escorting her home. He’d encouraged her to shower and when Atsuko finally stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of sweatpants and one of Kakashi’s long sleeved shirts, she’d found that Tenzo had prepared her something to eat and had even gone as far as to pack her a hospital bag. Full of clothing and books and some of the hygiene things she typically carried on missions.

Upon seeing the sight, she’d realized that no matter how alone she felt in this moment, she was never alone. Immediately, she’d bursted into tears and thrown herself at him, burying her face in his chest and gripping his shirt tightly as her arms wrapped around his torso. Even as she sat under the cold air conditioning unit in the hospital room, she could feel the warmth of his arms around her, swallowing her whole and providing her with the only stability she’d felt that day.

Tenzo was still with her several days later, sitting on the cot that Hatsu had placed in the room. It was on the far end of the room, pressed against the wall to keep the middle of the room clear of any obstacles, and he was sitting with his back against the wall, legs stretched out. He hadn’t really left her side, in all honesty. Only leaving to sleep and coming right back the next morning to spend his days keeping her company. Of course, he was worried about his long time friend as well. But he was a better Shinobi than she was. And if it hadn’t been for her need for support, he would have managed to continue with his every day life. Atsuko knew this and she was eternally grateful for his presence, especially as she stared down at the small box in her lap with a lump in her throat.

“You know… you don’t have to do this today. It can always wait if you don’t think you’re ready.”

Tenzo spoke up from across the room, encouraging and soothing as ever. Still, Atsuko let out a sigh, her hand gliding over the wooden box. She shifted a little uncomfortably in her chair as the feelings rose in her throat, choking her slightly. When they’d gone back to her house yesterday to get some new clothes and shower, she’d remembered her encounter with Jiraiya and it had set a fire alight in her stomach. Not the warm kind like when she saw Sasuke training or Kakashi peacefully reading a book, but the too hot kind that came with the desire to do something she knew was impossible. Without putting much thought into it, she’d dug through her closet and pulled out the box of her mother’s keepsakes. One that she had never had the strength to go through after she’d died, hoping to maybe find some answers inside.

“I know… but I can’t just go on not knowing. It’s eating me alive, Tenzo.”

She replied, her nerves buzzing a little and craving his closeness before opening the box. She left her chair between Sasuke and Kakashi’s hospital beds to cross the room to sit on the cot next to him, wiggling back until her back was flush with the wall as well. She crossed her legs like a pretzel, placing the box in the space between her folded knees and sighing a little as she looked up across the room again.

Kakashi and Sasuke hadn’t so much as moved an inch in the past few days, both still laid on their backs sleeping. Hatsu was due to come in today to clean them both up a little and change the sheets… She let out another sigh as her eyes fell back on the box. Despite the fire in her stomach, egging her towards insanity as her need to know the truth slowly burned her from the inside, she still felt selfish for doing this now. While Sasuke and Kakashi were laid in hospital beds, she was worried about her own familial issues. Then, she felt Tenzo drape an arm over her shoulders, giving her a reassuring squeeze.

“You do deserve to know the truth. Don’t feel bad for taking a break from being worried about them.”

He encouraged, and Atsuko was a little stunned by his ability to read her so flawlessly. After the initial shock wore off, she took a deep breath and steadied her resolve, nodding as she rested her head against his chest for a moment.

“You’re right… okay. Here goes nothing.”

She sighed out, and his arm slowly peeled off of her shoulders to give her space to move. She maneuvered the wooden box in her lap, looking for the metal clasp that held it closed. It needed a key, she realized and there was a moment of brief panic as she realized she hadn’t even noticed the little lock before now. Her brow furrowed in thought and she tried to click the clasp anyway, only to realize it truly was locked.

“Well, shit. That was anti-climactic.”

She breathed out, a little humorless chuckle following behind the words.

“Here, let me try.”

Tenzo offered, holding his hands out for the box. She figured it couldn’t hurt and handed it over to him, turning a little so she could watch as he examined the box. Eventually, he brought his pointer finger up to keyhole, using his wood release to cause a small twig to grow from his finger. She watched in awe as the twig morphed into a sturdy looking key. He pressed it into the lock until the tip of his pointer finger was flush with the metal, and gently began turning. After some wiggling and what she imagined were a few adjustments to the key inside the lock, he turned it and the latch on the front sprang open with a *click*. With a satisfied smile, he removed the key from the lock and removed it from his finger, offering it to Atsuko in the palm of his hand. A genuine smile broke across her face as she looked between him and the key in his palm, honestly the first true smile she’d managed in the past few days.

“Tenzo… you’re amazing. That was so cool, I could kiss you!”

She said enthusiastically, snatching the key from his hand and studying it for a moment before slipping it into the pocket on her sweatpants. Tenzo blushed a little in response as he set the now unlocked box down in her lap with a breathless chuckle.

“Ah, it’s no big deal.”

He muttered, his hand rubbing the back of his neck, then his eyes were suddenly pulled to the box as he heard the wood creak a little. Atsuko was already carefully prying the lid open, peeking inside after it was opened only a slit before letting the top swing back on the hinges. The first thing she noticed was a picture taped to the inside of the lid and, despite the nervous energy in the room, a smile tugged at her lips. It was a picture of her and her mother after Atsuko had graduated from the Academy. She was giving the camera a massive, toothy, grin with her brand new Shinobi headband tied around her head. Her eyes were scrunched shut and she was jamming a thumb towards the headband proudly. Atsuko realized just how much her face hadn’t changed over the years. She still had the same round face and full lips. Though, admittedly, she had developed some little wrinkles over the years around her eyes and across her forehead.

Then there was her mother. Akari Kamiyama. Atsuko traced a careful finger over her face in the picture, smile only growing wider. She truly was beautiful. Long, dark, hair and honey colored eyes. She shared some of the same soft features as her daughter. A little button nose and heart-shaped face, but Atsuko was starting to notice some of the differences now that she was looking for them. Her mother’s mouth was more pointed and thin, not as pouty as Atsuko’s. At first glance, their eyes seemed to be copies of one another. However, she now noticed her mother had much rounder eyes, while Atsuko’s held more of an upturned slant. Just like Jiraiya… her heart was starting to pound in her chest and if it weren’t for Tenzo, she might had slammed the box shut and shoved it under the cot.

“Look at that picture. You were so cute!”

Tenzo exclaimed, reaching out to grasp the lid of the box and turn it towards him so he could get a better look. Atsuko was forced from her trance when he did this and she turned a little to watch his face light up, like he was genuinely overjoyed by the childhood picture of her. The reaction brought her smile back and she blushed a little, chuckling slightly.

“And is this your mother? She’s beautiful…”

  
  
He hummed thoughtfully, the wild grin on his face slowly melting into something more… tender and thoughtful. She wondered briefly what he was thinking in that moment, but she brushed it aside and reached back out for the box, her eyes dropping to the contents inside. Laying on the very top was her mother’s Shinobi headband, surprisingly pristine with the band folded neatly. Atsuko took the item in her hands, holding it gingerly.

“Yeah she was…”

She replied quietly, tracing her finger over the lines of the Hidden Leaf symbol.

“I didn’t know she was a Shinobi?”

Tenzo questioned, releasing his grip on the box and settling back against the wall, content to let her go through the contents.

“She was for a while. Chunin rank… Then she got pregnant with me and well… my dad wasn’t around and she didn’t have any living relatives to help out. So, she had to leave it behind and take a job at the hospital. She loved working at the hospital, but you could tell she always wished she didn’t have to leave behind her Shinobi work. When I was a kid, she used to tell me stories about different missions and her days at the Academy and her eyes… just lit up. She loved it.”

Atsuko replied, still staring down at the headband with a small smile on her face. Her life had been pretty tumultuous since she’d died, but she silently hoped that her mother would be proud if she saw what she’d done with her life. Even if everything felt like a series of events she had no control over, she hoped she was making the best of it like her mother had wanted. With a gentle sigh, she placed the headband in Tenzo’s lap to keep it out of the way and she noticed how his hand immediately went down to run his fingers over the emblem. Then, she turned her attention back to the other contents in the box. The things that stuck out were a stack of folded papers and pictures, then right next to those, a necklace with some kind of stone attached and a few odd trinkets.

She pulled out the necklace first. It was a simple silver chain with a clasp on the back, but the center held a, smooth, polished ball of what appeared to be obsidian. She turned it over in her hands, admiring the cool feeling of the stone against her skin before she let it settle back into the box. The other trinkets in the box were pretty standard. One of Atsuko’s baby socks, a silver plated pocket mirror with a frog etched onto the front of it, a well loved kunai with a worn white wrap around the handle, and a pair of dangling obsidian earrings to match the necklace. Once all of those objects had been gone through, she swallowed hard and grabbed the small stack of pictures and what appeared to be letters. She set the box aside completely on the cot and started with the small stack of photos first, setting the letters down in her lap.

When she started to flip through the pictures, she recognized a couple. One from when she was a baby, sleeping soundly in a crib. Another of her and her mother from when she’d passed her Chunin exams, though her grin wasn’t as wide and beaming as the picture from her graduation. Then another from her 7th birthday, surrounded by a couple of her childhood friends as she blew out a birthday candle. There was one picture left and it was turned upside down, the back of the stock taunting her slightly. She carefully turned it over in her hands and let out a soft gasp at the sight.

It was her mother, young and beautiful in her full Shinobi gear. She was smiling widely, the grin cutting into the softness of her cheeks and showing off her deep dimples. There was an arm draped over her shoulders and Atsuko slowly followed it up to see the man standing beside her. Though clearly much younger, she recognized the man as Jiraiya immediately. His face was a little slimmer and his jaw line a little more taught, but he still wore that teasing smirk, throwing a wink at the camera.

“Woah… that’s them, huh?”

Tenzo piped up from beside her, and Atsuko just nodded wordlessly. Still a little in denial she shook her head, placing the picture down with the others back in the box.

“That doesn’t mean anything. I mean, we have pictures together and I didn’t give birth to your child and hide it from you for 12 years.”

Atsuko defended, only feeling Tenzo chuckle a little beside her. He shrugged, conceding to that logic completely and understanding he didn’t need to push the subject. Still, he watched as she stared down at the letters in her lap, seemingly scared to unfold them and see what was written inside.

“That’s true. You could put everything else away now and just move on with your life. Believe what you just told yourself and live in blissful ignorance.”

He commented, knowing it would only egg her on. Atsuko scoffed at the very notion and seemed to regain her confidence, snatching the first letter from her lap and unfolding it as she spoke.

“No fucking way.”

She replied, eyes quickly scanning the page as the color drained from her face. In all honesty, she knew she would find the truth here. She’d known it from the moment she’d locked eyes with Jiraiya. However, it still threw her for a loop and her eyes grew wide with every sentence. When she reached the end, she let out a brief sigh, feeling Tenzo’s eyes straining to see the paper as well.

“I’ll just read it to you… It’s dated June 11th, a little over a year before I was born.

‘ _Akari,_

_I had a great time this weekend. The next time I’m back in the village, you should let me take you out on a real date. Not that I don’t consider what we did a date. Trust me, I do. One I’d like to repeat. But, I want to take you out to a nice dinner instead of meeting up in some shit-hole bar. I’ll be gone for a week or so on a mission, but you can leave your response in my mailbox. You’ll be the first one to know when I’m back, so make sure you keep a nice dress on stand by so I can take you out somewhere fancy._

_-Jiraiya’ “_

Atsuko finished, flipping the paper over and looking for anything she may have missed. She sighed, folding it back up and running her fingers back through her hair.

“Okay… so maybe they just went on a couple dates. Doesn’t mean he’s your dad.”

Tenzo tried to defend, if only to soothe her worries. Atsuko shook her head, reaching down to pick up the next letter.

“Honestly, I’m just hoping these don’t get explicit. I mean, you’ve read his books… the last thing I need is the mental image of my mother having sex.”

She replied, trying to keep the tone relatively light and feeling like she’d succeeded when Tenzo let out a snort beside her. She unfolded the next letter and read a few sentences in silence before letting out a scoff and deciding to just read the whole thing aloud from the beginning.

“Oh, he stepped up his writing game in this one.

_August 15th. My Dearest Akari,_

_With every passing day I miss your warmth more and more. Those few weeks we were able spend together were blissful and during the long nights on the front lines I find myself dreaming of your bed. When I return to the village, I would love nothing more than to spend several days mingling between your soft sheets-“_

Atsuko cut herself off, shaking her head violently as she folded the letter shut and placed it with the other one.

“Nope. I scanned ahead a little and caught sight of the words ‘achingly hard’. I get the picture. Don’t need to read any further on that one.”

She sighed out, and Tenzo let out a full body laugh this time, dropping his head back against the wall as the cot jostled from the force of it. Atsuko let out an involuntary shudder at the thought of her mother having sex. Furthermore, the knowledge that one of the Legendary Sanin had written her mother dirty letters when they were young was an idea that she’d never thought she’d have to come to terms with. It was all so insane and surreal that she couldn’t even bring herself to be nervous or upset anymore. Just shocked and a little amused. She reached down and grabbed the third letter, opening it and beginning to read aloud before she could think better of it.

This went on for another 30 minutes until Atsuko had read through the entire stack of letters. In total, there were 10 from Jiraiya addressed to her mother. A couple of the earlier ones were full of smut and graphic descriptions of sex acts, but she managed to skim over those parts fairly quickly. Even though Tenzo still peered over her shoulder to read them to himself silently, his blush so strong she swore she could feel the heat radiating off of him. But as she worked her way through the stack, the words became less pornographic and more tender. Jiraiya really did have a way with words and she found herself blushing intensely at the more intimate declarations than she did at the erotic musings. Honestly, it felt like the budding of a beautiful relationship and she could feel the love pouring from the pages as things progressed.

However, the last letter foreshadowed what she assumed was the end of their tryst. Jiraiya had written about his time on the battlefield of the Second Shinobi War. It was a clear departure from the earlier writings, where he’d spent most of his time waxing on about Akari’s beautiful eyes and how her embrace felt like home. He was detailing his missions, desperately looking for someone to share his concerns and movements with. Flowery words and love letters seemed to come easy for Jiraiya, his neat handwriting flowing across the page with confident strokes and wide arching loops. But this letter was different. The handwriting was more choppy and intense, there were several spots where she could tell his pencil had dug into the paper so harshly it had almost ripped. He was nervous. Or scared even. And when she got to the end of the letter, it was clear why.

“‘ _… Tsunade, Orochimaru and myself are being sent to the front lines in the Hidden Rain. The leader of the Hidden Rain Village, Hanzo, has been causing quite a bit of trouble and we’re being sent to handle him to the best of our ability. In all honesty, Akari, I am unsure of when I will be able to return to you. But know that I will carry you in my heart no matter the distance or length of time that separates us. We both have our duties to fulfill in this war and, when it’s all over, I hope you will still be waiting for me with open arms. Please, stay safe and guard yourself well. I know you’ve told me before not to worry, and I know you are a capable Kunoichi, but take extra precautions for my sake. I will write to you again as soon as I am able._

_With Love, Jiraiya.’”_

Atsuko finished, furrowing her brow together in concentration. A tense silence filled the air as she tried to process the emotions she was currently feeling. When she’d started looking through this box and reading the letters, she had honestly been upset. Angry that her father had never been around, hurt that her mother never told her the truth, and truly nervous to confront something she didn’t feel like she was prepared for. Now, she found her feelings had changed drastically. Her heart ached knowing that her mother had had this love in her life and then it was taken from her. Or she’d been forced to give it up. She wasn’t sure what had happened between her mother and Jiraiya that resulted in them falling apart, but she still mourned the loss of a connection that she’d only ever seen in one sided letters. The thought made her chuckle a little humorlessly. Her heart was still too big.

“Damn. Those last couple letters, he really seemed to love her, Atsuko.”

Tenzo finally spoke up from beside her, breaking the silence with a soft observation. She drew in a shuddering breath through her nose and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, seems like it. But when he asked about her the other day… I don’t even think he knows she’s dead.”

She replied, biting the inside of her bottom lip in thought. Her eyes rose to look across the room at her own love, laid in a hospital bed and in a coma. It was torture feeling so far from him, even though she was in the same room. She could only imagine how her mother must have felt, fighting in the war and knowing Jiraiya was across the map fighting his own battles, unable to be by his side. On top of all of that, she was pregnant when this last letter was dated. About a month in if Atsuko’s math was right. The twinge of pain that stabbed at her heart made her wince slightly. If she was pregnant with Kakashi’s child and he had to leave to fight in a war… god, she wouldn’t be able to function.

Atsuko forced herself to banish the thought, shaking her head a little as she went to collect the other letters from the cot beside her, placing them back in a stack. Just as she was about to put them back in the box and resign to the fact that she may never know the full truth, she noticed one more folded piece of paper at the bottom of the box. It must have gotten stuck when she pulled the rest out. Squinting a little due to the faded ink, she noticed this one was addressed to ‘Atsuko’. Her eyes widened and she peeled the softened paper from the wood, the other letters forgotten in her lap. She showed the name written on the front to Tenzo who settled back against the wall with a soft sigh, prepared for what he assumed would be the answers to all of her questions.

“I’m… I’ll just read it out loud from the beginning. So I can’t back out.”

She confirmed, nodding a little in determination before unfolding the paper and scanning the page quickly.

“‘ _My Daughter, Atsuko,_

_If you’re reading this letter, I assume that I have already passed and you are looking for some answers. I’m not sure when you will finally get around to looking through this box, you’ve always been a sensitive child and I believe my death will be difficult for you… But when you can bring yourself to read this, I hope that you have found happiness and are finally content.”_

Atsuko stopped for a moment, swallowing as she looked back across the room to Kakashi and Sasuke in their respective hospital beds. If only her mother could see what her life had become. She’d found the love of her life and had been given the gift of raising Sasuke. Only to have them be the direct cause of all of her worry and stress for five years straight. But now, as she sat waiting for them to wake up, she wanted nothing more than for them to be driving her crazy. She wanted to hear Sasuke and Naruto, yelling at each other in her kitchen as she struggled with dinner. Wanted to talk Kakashi’s ear off for 15 minutes straight, only to realize he hadn’t heard a word she’d said. She wanted to go on missions with them again, watch Sasuke fight while hesimultaneously filled her with intense pride and fear. All the stress in the world was better than this limbo they were currently in. With a gentle sigh, she turned her suddenly heavy eyes back to the paper to continue reading.

“‘ _…In all honesty, I am still unsure if me telling you this is the right thing to do. I fear it may only bring you more heartache and worry. However, I also know you won’t be satisfied until you know the truth. So, I’ll start from the beginning._

_I met your father when I was still very young. In fact, we both were. It was the summer before the Second Shinobi War began and we met at the training grounds. The first thing I noticed was just how handsome he was. He had what we used to refer to as ‘bedroom eyes’ and this massive, cocky, smile. He flirted with me immediately, and I was stricken by his boldness. I know what you might be thinking, and yes my taste in men wasn’t the greatest in my youth, but I am glad I gave him a chance._

_We went on a few dates after that and I soon found I was starting to fall for him. He made me laugh and smile so hard my cheeks hurt. He took me on these elaborate dates that never seemed to go as planned, but he smiled through it all. He even tried his hand at preparing dinner for me on a couple of occasions, only to burn it all and end up ordering take-out anyway. Those first few weeks I got to spend with him were some of the happiest of my life. Whenever one of us had to leave on missions for extended periods of time, we would write letters back and forth. I kept a few in this box for you to read when the time is right and I apologize for the more crude ones, those I kept for myself. Nonetheless, I came to find that he also had a passion for writing and, as time went on, his letters only made sure I had completely fallen in love with him._

_When I discovered I was pregnant with you, I was elated. I couldn’t wait to tell him, but he was gone on a mission at the time. It didn’t feel like the kind of news you give someone over letter, so I decided to wait until he returned. Then, I got the last letter in this box. The Second Shinobi War had started and I knew he was destined to be a prominent figure, fighting on the front lines. As much as I wanted to assist in the war effort, I couldn’t because I was pregnant with you. So I had to stay behind in the village, providing emergency medical assistance and doing what I could in that state._

_When I received that final letter from Jiraiya, I knew that I couldn’t burden him with the knowledge of my pregnancy. He needed to focus on the war and keeping himself safe. As time went on and I heard more stories about his time on the battlefield, I knew his career as a Shinobi was also destined to be something great. He, as well as Tsunade and Orochimaru, had made an impressive name for the themselves. The Legendary Sanin. I couldn’t expect him to return to me and play house, so I slowly stopped responding to his letters. Throwing away the new ones and distancing myself in preparation for what had to be done. I sent him my final letter when I was 7 months pregnant, and told him that I didn’t wish to correspond with him any longer. I wrote some pretty nasty things in that letter to insure that he would stay far far away. And he never wrote me again._

_Because of my decision, you never got to meet your father. So, please, if you are seeking him out now, do not be upset with him. The type of man he is… if he had known, he would have dropped everything to be with you. With us. But I didn’t give him that option. If you haven’t picked up on it by now, your father is Jiraiya. One of the three Legendary Sanin._

_I hope that you don’t carry any resentment in your heart towards me for keeping this from you for so long… But I know that you likely will for a while, and that’s perfectly fine. I know you are out doing your best right now to aid in the war, and I wish your childhood wasn’t wrought with such hardships, but I know you have the strength to carry that burden. Your heart is big enough to hold everyone closely and bear their burdens as well, just like Jiraiya. But please remember to take care of yourself. Just know, that even in death, I love you dearly and you will always be my little girl. No matter how strong you get or how difficult things become after I pass, just try to remember that._

_-Love, Momma”_

Atsuko finished the last lines of the letter on a shaky, wet sounding, exhale. The tears had started around the fifth paragraph and had been steadily rolling down her face, accumulating on her lips. Not only had it been overwhelming to get the confirmation of her fathers identity, but the story her mother had weaved was a devastating one. The way her relationship with Jiraiya had ended… it left Atsuko feeling hollow and aching slightly for the life her mother could have had. Before she could wipe the tears away, a warm arm was wrapping around her shoulders, tugging her towards the safety of Tenzo’s chest. The letter slipped from her weak grip and fell to her lap as she turned to wrap her arms around the large man, burying her face in his shirt as soft sobs began to wrack through her body.

He’d done this plenty of times before, so his hands moved out of sheer muscle memory. Atsuko felt them wrap around her shoulders, rubbing her back as he coaxed the gentle cries from her body. After several minutes, she felt herself calming and drew in a couple shuddering breaths as the tears began to dry. She wondered for a brief second if she just didn’t have anymore tears to cry. The last few days had been so tumultuous and she felt as if she had been bathed in the fire of unrelenting emotion, slowly desensitizing her. Even 6 months ago, this revelation about her father would have sent her into a full panic attack, but now she found herself calming with relative ease. As the tears slowed to a stop, she took just a few more moments to bask in Tenzo’s warmth, breathing his unique sent. Wood and coffee with a hint of some earthy cologne. He was so solid and kind… always there for her. A brief wave of something she couldn’t identify washed over her, causing a chill to run up her spine.

_Was this what her mother had felt like being held by Jiraiya?_

Atsuko pulled herself out of his grasp quickly, feeling his head lift from where he’d buried his nose in her hair. With wide eyes, she dispelled the thought quickly and wiped at her face to hide anything that might have given her away. She knew that thought was involuntary, just a desperate woman clinging to kindness in a time when her world was literally flipped upside down. Choking down the unwelcome emotion, she took another steadying breath and noticed that Tenzo was staring at the side of her head. When she finally turned to meet his eyes, he had concerned etched into every corner of his face. The display of care caused her to falter a little, but she reached a tentative hand out and patted his chest, giving him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m alright. Thank you, Tenzo.”

She confirmed, watching as he studied her for a moment more before accepting her response and relaxing back against the wall again. His eyes filtered to the letter in her lap and then over to the box resting on the cot.

“What are you going to do about Jiraiya?”

He asked, a little hesitance in his question like he was afraid to push her too far. Atsuko just let out a gentle sigh and shrugged her shoulders, retrieving the letter from her lap and turning the aged paper over in her hands.

“I’m not sure… I mean, it feels like it doesn’t matter much anymore. I spent my whole life without a father, so I’m not sure who would benefit from me telling him now. It’s not like he can buy me new school clothes or play catch with me. Or whatever the hell it is fathers do with their daughters.”

She replied, letting out a soft chuckle at the end. It really was a strange situation. Her father was one of the Legendary Sanin and currently it seemed he was training Naruto. It’s not like they’d have a lot of time to talk and she wondered if they would even have anything in common to talk about. Her brow furrowed in thought and she glanced back at the stack of his letters with a small pout. Atsuko honestly wondered if he would even care that she was his daughter. But… he did have a right to know at least. To make that decision for himself.

“Yeah, he can’t do that kind of stuff. But there are other things you could learn from him, right? He’s one of the Sanin. At the very least, that’s some kind of claim to fame.”

Tenzo offered, and Atsuko quirked a brow at his reply. She hadn’t really considered that part of it, too wrapped up in her emotions surrounding the matter. It wasn’t something she would have expected him to point out, but Tenzo was right. Being the daughter of one of the Legendary Sanin… that could open up some opportunities for her and, if they did manage to build some kind of relationship, there was a lot she could learn from him. It seemed little… selfish to view the situation that way, but it was a logical, tangible, benefit.

“Hmm. Yeah, you’re right. I mean, even if he wasn’t one of the Sanin I think I would still want to contact him. Just because he has a right to know that someone is walking around with half of his DNA.”

Atsuko said, nodding a little as she slowly became more determined in that thought. Whenever Jiraiya and Naruto returned with Tsunade, she would pull him aside and hand him the box. Let him know the truth briefly, and then allow him to seek her out if that’s what he wanted. Fully place the ball in his court. She packed up the remaining letters, opting to keep the necklace she’d found, sliding it into her sweatpants pocket. Just as she crossed the room to place the box back in her duffle bag, the door to the hospital room slid open and she turned to see who’d arrived.

Hatsu was moving into the room with a wash pan and sponge balanced on a gurney, giving Atsuko a soft smile.

“Good afternoon, Atsuko. I’m here for the sheet changing and wash up.”

She advised, still using that sweet voice. Atsuko nodded with a soft smile and immediately moved to help her maneuver the gurney to Kakashi’s bedside first. She perked her head up and made eye contact with Tenzo across the room.

“Ah, unless you want to see Kakashi in several states of undress, now might be a good time to grab something to eat.”

She suggested and, without further intervention, Tenzo scrambled up from the cot, sliding on his slippers before ducking out the door.

——————————————————————————-

Another week went by with no changes in Sasuke or Kakashi’s conditions. Atsuko found that with every passing day and Tenzo’s constant company, it was getting a little easier to accept the current situation. Hatsu made sure to let her know during every check in that they were both stable and doing well, all things considered, and that small bit of hope had grown into a blossoming acceptance. Some days, she would just tidy up the hospital room, a little messy from her and Tenzo’s current living situation. Singing a little and talking to them because Hatsu had also stated that, while they may not be awake, hearing the voice of a loved one could speed up their recovery time. Near the end of the first week, she had felt comfortable enough to leave the room at night to sleep in her own bed. Though the first couple nights without Kakashi warming the bed had been difficult, she knew he was in good hands at the hospital.

A small group of Genin had stopped by early one morning as Atsuko was dusting the windowsill and opening the blinds to the hospital room. Letting in the natural light so Sasuke and Kakashi could benefit from those vitamins. A soft knock at the door had pulled her from her cleaning and she perked up at the noise, glancing across the room to where Tenzo was seated in one of the chairs, looking over the morning paper. He just quirked a brow at her and shrugged before turning back to the column he’d been reading.

“Come in.”

She called, careful not to be too loud. The door slowly slid open and it took her eyes a second to adjust, but when they did a smile grew across her face. Standing just outside the door were the members of Team 10 and part of Gai’s team, along with Sakura and Kiba. Each of the young Shinobi were holding a different item, she noticed. A couple get well baskets and some flowers. The sight made her heart lurch in her chest and she waved for them to come in. Once they’d all filed inside, Shikamaru shut the door behind them and Atsuko crossed the room to start taking the gifts from their arms.

“Hi, everyone. Come by to say hello?”

She asked, using the voice she’d reserved for this group of kids a long time ago. They all nodded in unison, quiet and seeming a little disturbed by the energy in the hospital room. She understood immediately. It was a strange sight, their classmate lying unconscious in bed and Kakashi, one the village’s strongest Jonin, in the same state. Shikamaru decided to be the first one to speak, taking the role of leader easily.

“Yeah. Sakura said she came by the other day and thought you could use some stuff.”

He said, tone bored as ever, but she saw the way his eyes darted around the room, taking in the surroundings and landing on Sasuke with a short sigh.

“That was very sweet of you, Sakura. And thank all of you for coming and bringing these gifts. I was just starting to think it would be good to have some more flowers in here.”

She replied, and it seemed like that broke the tension for everyone. Sakura and Ino butted forward to the front of the crowd, beelining for Sasuke’s bed and placing their flowers on his night stand. While the girls stared down at the boy in awe, Atsuko ushered for everyone to enter the room a little further, to keep from blocking the door. She knew that the boys were likely here to see her, while Sakura and Ino were more concerned about Sasuke.

After she unloaded their gifts and placed everything on the windowsill, she leaned back against it, her arms crossed under her chest as she tugged her cardigan a little more securely around her body. All of them had spread out across the room, clearly content on staying for a while. Or having something they wanted to say. She took a moment to scan the crowd, taking in all of their expressions and unconscious mannerisms.

Rock Lee was standing against the far wall, still wrapped in bandages and leaning heavily on the wooden crutch he’d been confined to since the Chunin exams. He seemed a little worn, but he had maintained that bright eyed intensity throughout the entire situation. Gai had told her and Kakashi about his injuries, how the medical ninja hadn’t been able to help him and he was informed that Lee would likely not be able to continue his Shinobi work. It had broken her heart at the time, but every time she’d seen Lee since he still portrayed that air of unabashed optimism. And now that she knew Tsunade was on her way back to the village… maybe there was hope for the young boy after all.

Next to Lee, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed was Neji Hyuga. His eyes were narrowed in that harsh judging stare. But she’d noticed that he was sticking close to Lee, his eyes traveling over to his friend to make sure he was still standing upright. In the final stages of Chunin exam, Atsuko had witnessed Neji nearly kill Hinata in the preliminaries and then, in turn, get beaten by Naruto in the first tournament match. She’d already liked the boy to begin with from the mission she’d gone on with Team Gai before the exams started. He was harsh and hateful, honestly a little arrogant and uppity, but she’d found it oddly endearing. Dedicated to his craft and, after she’d come to find out about the Hyuga Clan’s practices, she sympathized with his anger completely and totally. But he seemed to have softened after his match with Naruto. The fact that he was here at all proved that. It seemed Naruto had that effect on people.

Then there was Shikamaru and Choji, sticking close by each other as usual. Shikamaru scanned the room repeatedly before settling to look at Atsuko, his arms folded across his thin chest. She’d been completely blown away by his performance at the Chunin Exams. She had always known he was an intelligent boy, but his fight with Temari had still been shockingly impressive. His analytical skills were through the roof and he managed to come up with a flawless, adaptable, plan in a matter of minutes. She had always prided herself on being observant, but even she would have taken a little longer to put all of those pieces together. Then, when his victory was all but assured, he’d just thrown the match. Having lost interest and withdrawing completely. She wondered if that’s why he seemed so bored all of the time. There was never enough stimulation for his quick mind. Or maybe he really was just lazy.

Ino and Sakura’s match had been an entirely different battle. It was downright feral, if she recalled correctly. The girls had met each other blow for blow and it had eventually ended in a double knock out, neither of them being permitted to move forward to the next round. Atsuko’s heart had broken a little watching the match. Seeing two girls who used to care for each other so deeply trying to break the other, but still unable to stop their softness from peaking through. In her eyes, it was a shame that they’d let some silly competition over a boy (who didn’t want either of them) ruin their friendship. Yet, here they both stood by his bedside, seemingly more concerned over Sasuke’s wellbeing than their petty rivalry for the time being.

Atsuko realized this was the first time she’d seen most of these kids since the Chunin exams and Lord Third’s funeral. They’d all been doing their part to help rebuild the village, continuing on their missions, and just generally trying to return back to some sense of normalcy. Just like she’d been trying to do before the hurricane that was Itachi Uchiha had struck.

She noticed the silence that had fallen over the room during her introspection had drawn on for too long and she cleared her throat a little as she noticed most of their eyes were snapping between her, the hospital beds, and Tenzo sitting the corner.

“Oh. This is my long time friend and partner, Yamato.”

She introduced to break the tension, gesturing to where the large man was folded into the small hospital chair. He gave a short wave and folded the newspaper up, letting it rest in his lap.

“Yamato, these are Sasuke’s classmates and my former students. Neji Hyuga, Rock Lee, Choji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara, Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, and Kiba Inuzuka. Though Neji and Lee were not in my class, we’ve worked together on a couple missions.”

She introduced, going around the room and pointing at each Genin. They all gave either a nod of their heads or a simple wave, except for Sakura and Ino who were too preoccupied with arguing over… fluffing Sasuke’s pillow? A gentle sigh escaped her and then Kiba, who had been uncharacteristically quiet from his spot leaned against the doorframe, spoke up.

“Partner? We thought you were dating Kakashi-sensei.”

He quipped, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and head tilted to the side. Shikamaru was the next to pipe up.

“Idiot. Her Shinobi partner. On missions.”

He clarified, causing Kiba to bark back immediately,

“Hey! Don’t call me an idiot, jackass!”

Then Neji was next, glaring daggers at the other two boys.

“It’s not good form to curse in front of a lady. Or to argue in a hospital room.”

He hissed under his breath, and before Atsuko knew what was happening, all three of them were hurling insults and yelling over one another. Ino and Sakura had also been dragged into the mix, shouting at the boys to be quiet and quit bickering. Just a few minutes in and everything had devolved into familiar chaos. As she looked around the room at the fussing Genin, she felt something tug at her chest. A warmth that she’d often felt during her days teaching at the Academy. All of these kids with their vibrant personalities… they clashed all of the time in class and she usually just let it unfold, unless it looked like someone was going too far or like an actual fight might break out. Simply because it was so entertaining. As they continued to fight, her shoulders started to bounce and before she could stop it, she was burying her mouth in her hand and gripping her stomach, laughing so hard it nearly moved her to tears.

She heard the bickering begin to die down as all of the attention was turned back to her. She couldn’t see them very well, but she was sure they were all giving her some varying degree of concerned looks. Like she’d finally cracked and they had the pleasure of witnessing her full mental breakdown. The hand gripping her stomach came up and she waved at the group from her doubled over position before letting out a few more deep laughs that reverberated off the linoleum. When she managed to stand back upright, wiping small tears from her eyes, she just grinned.

“Thanks, you guys. I really needed that…”

She commented, leaning back against the windowsill and taking a couple deep breaths while a few more stray giggles popped out of her mouth. Then, she heard giggling from the other side of the room. Her eyes flew open and she noticed Sakura had been taken over in a fit of giggles as well. The entire group stared at her as if she had grown a second head. Then, Choji was the next one to start laughing. Before it was all said and done, the fit had effected everyone except for Neji and Shikamaru, who only stood by with amused smirks on their faces.

It seemed like the tension in the room had finally melted away as everyone settled in for a while. Tenzo stood and allowed Lee to have his chair, Neji moving to stand just behind it in an almost protective manner. Sakura and Ino had found two other chairs, pushing them close to Sasuke’s bed and seating themselves easily. Choji and Kiba had opted for sliding down to the floor, backs against the wall, while Shikamaru moved to lean against the door frame, arms still crossed.

The conversation steered more towards the lighter side for a while. Team 10 discussed a recent mission they’d been on with Asuma, involving a trip to a small outpost town about a days walk away. Lee talked adamantly about his recent training and how he was hopeful to be back in working condition soon. Sakura told the room about Naruto leaving the village with one of the Sanin, and that had been a conversation all its own. When Shikamaru had asked just what the hell Naruto was doing hanging around one of the Legendary Sanin, Atsuko decided it was her turn to speak up again.

“They are out looking for one of the other Sanin. Tsunade. She’s a well renowned medical ninja… Supposedly, she should be able to wake Kakashi and Sasuke.”

She advised, taking a moment to look over at their two sleeping forms with a gentle sigh. She prayed that would be the case, but she was starting to fear the consequences of what had happened to Sasuke. He was going to be livid when he awoke. And a part of her was worried she wouldn’t be here when they woke up. In her new found semi-relaxation she had agreed to set out on a mission with Tenzo in a few days. It had been one that was planned before Itachi had shown up, but he had assumed she wouldn’t want to go. Instead, when he’d brought it up, she’d jumped at the opportunity. It was an escort mission. Simple, B-Rank due to the caliber of person they were transporting. But it shouldn’t take more than three days. And she was assured that if the two of them woke up while she was gone, someone would send word and a replacement for her immediately so she could return to the village.

A silence overtook the room as everyone remembered where exactly they were. To her surprise, Shikamaru was the first one to break the silence.

“How are you holding up?”

He asked, and Atsuko jerked her head in his direction, tilting it in mild confusion. There was a small group of students she’d gotten close to during her time at the Academy and if one of them were upset or sad, she always made it a point to check on them and listen. Sometimes, if they noticed a moment of weakness on her end, those same students would return the favor. It was sweet, but she never wanted to burden them with the depth of her issues, so she coated her response in a little sugar every time. Shikamaru was not one of the ones who typically asked about her, so she was a little thrown off by his question.

“Uh… I’m okay. First couple days were rough but Yamato here and the hospital staff have been wonderful. They say that talking to them might help them recover more quickly? So I’ve made it a point to just run my mouth at all hours.”

She replied, chuckling a little at the end as her eyes turned down to ground. Tenzo bumped his shoulder against her in a sign of assurance and she turned a smile up at him. Grateful for the grounding gesture when it would be easy for her thoughts to run wild in this moment.

“So, no different from usual.”

Shikamaru quipped back, and Atsuko dropped her head back with a soft laugh. She nodded a little in reply, pulling her head back up only to be met with the boy’s familiar smirk.

“Fair enough. You all have been on the receiving end of my rambling more than I’d care to admit.”

Atsuko said, crossing her arms again as she leaned back against the windowsill.

“You’re not quite as bad as Gai.”

Neji added, monotone and likely meaning it literally, but it still made Atsuko chuckle again. She threw her hands up in mild surrender.

“Okay, I get it. Everyone is a big bad Genin now and thinks that means they have free rein to give me a hard time. Well, now that everyone’s grown, just know it works both ways. I’m not afraid of hurting some feelings.”

She teased back, drawing some mild chuckles from the crowd. Then, Kiba piped up again.

“Do you think you’ll be able to go on a mission with us again soon?”

He asked, cocking his head to the side in question. Immediately, Atsuko’s eyes filtered between the young man and her family in their respective hospital beds.

“Of course not! She’s going to wait for Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke to wake up!”

Ino barked out, clenching her first to her chest dramatically. To prevent another outburst, Atsuko raised her hands again in defense.

“Wait a second, guys. I’m not sure Kiba, they assign me where I’m needed. And, Ino, I have actually decided to resume my missions for the time being… It’s not helping anyone for me to sit around this hospital room, sulking all day.”

She clarified, watching as Ino and Kiba both visibly deflated a little.

“Actually, that reminds me, I want to ask a favor of you all.”

She started, looking around the room again at all of the different sets of eyes that were now trained on her.

“The day after tomorrow, I will be leaving the village to assist Yamato on a mission. I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few days, and I’ve been advised that if Naruto and Jiraiya return with Tsunade, then I’ll be alerted and recalled to the village. But, there really isn’t anyone here to… keep them company while I’m gone.”

Atsuko trailed off for a second, as every eye in the room turned to look at Sasuke and Kakashi. She drew in another steadying breath and continued.

“If it’s not too much to ask, would some of you come by during the day? Sit and talk to them? I know it’s a little strange and… sad. But, I don’t know. I feel guilty leaving them all alone, ya know?”

She was barely able to get out her last sentence before Rock Lee shouted from his position in the chair. Her head whipped around to look at him, taking in his wide eyes that were now brimming with tears.

“Of course, Atsuko-sensei! Neji and I will be here every day until Sasuke and Kakashi wake up! They are too strong not to!”

He promised, loud and boisterous just like his sensei. A sad grin broke across her face at the pureness of his heart, and when she noticed Neji’s exasperated expression as he hissed ‘Every day, Lee? Why did you drag me into that?’, she also managed a chuckle.

“Yeah, I’ll be here for Sasuke when he wakes up too!”

Sakura called out from across the room, her gaze immediately falling back to the boy in the bed. Then, one by one, all of the Genin agreed to visit while she was gone. Though, it sounded like some of them would be here even when she got back. The sight warmed her heart and she found herself tearing up a little as the group continued to talk amongst themselves about schedules for the ones who couldn’t dedicate to being there all day. Her relationship with these kids was something that was still difficult for her to pin down. She wanted to uplift and support them, had since she was teaching at the Academy. But it seemed like they were returning the favor now. Uplifting her spirits and making this entire process much more bearable. She loved them all deeply. She felt Tenzo’s arm drape over her shoulders again, tugging her close to him and her grin only grew wider. She turned her face up to look at him, only to find he was watching the scene with a warm smile as well.

With people like these close to her, Atsuko knew she could handle anything that life threw at her from here on out.

———————————————————————————————-

Atsuko was pacing back and forth in the hallway outside of the hospital room she’d come to call home over the last couple weeks. She was picking at her nails fiercely, knowing that if she looked at her hands they’d be raw and red, maybe even a little bloody. It had been an hour and a half since Jiraiya and Naruto had returned to the village with Tsunade, and an hour since she’d entered Kakashi and Sasuke’s hospital room. The day before she was due to leave with Tenzo on their escort mission. A small part of her had almost hoped they would return while she was gone on the mission, just so she wouldn’t have to be in the situation she was in right now.

Every second she stood in this hallway and waited felt like a lifetime. The ticking of the clock in the hallway was disturbingly loud, matched up perfectly with the sound of her sandals hitting the linoleum over and over. Sakura and Naruto were waiting as well, though decisively not as nervous as she was.

“Don’t worry, Sasuke’s mom! Granny Tsunade is awesome and she’ll wake Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei up, no problem!”

He shouted from his spot next to Sakura, causing Atsuko to halt in her tracks, the rubber on her soles squeaking a little against the floor. Again, Naruto with that unshakeable optimistic outlook. She wondered who exactly he was trying to convince. Her or himself? Still, she found a little solace in the gesture and nodded solemnly. With a gentle sigh, she approached the boy and grabbed his shoulders, pulling his face to her midsection in a hug.

“Thank you, Naruto. Not just for what you said, but for doing what you did. I’m sure that trip wasn’t easy.”

She breathed out, finally releasing the boy and looking down as he gave her that blinding grin.

“Don’t worry about it! A silly little mission like that is nothing for me!”

He assured, squeezing his eyes shut in the smile he offered her. Atsuko only let out a mild chuckle at the over-confidence before her eyes were drawn back to the hospital door. As well as Kakashi and Sasuke, she was worried about confronting the other man in that hospital room. When Jiraiya had shown up with Naruto and Tsunade, she and Sakura had immediately been pushed from the room, so she hadn’t had any time to look at him, let alone tell him she was his daughter. Though, the little box of keepsakes sat on the windowsill in the room, ready to thrust into his hands as soon as she had the chance. God, it was almost too much. She couldn’t wait to finally relax after this whole debacle was over.

Suddenly, the click of the hospital door had her perking up, eyes wide as she stared. The door slowly slid open, revealing Tsunade’s smiling face. Atsuko hadn’t really had much time to look at the older woman earlier, either. But right now, she might as well have been a busty angel. Her blonde hair backlit by the sunlight pouring in from the windows in the room and a soft smile on her pretty face. Atsuko’s heart was in her throat, choking her and beating so hard she swore her eyes were vibrating in their sockets. In slow motion, Tsunade side stepped out of the way of the door, bringing the room behind her into view.

Atsuko’s eyes felt like they could only observe an inch of space at a time, moving slowly to finally land on the image she’d worried herself sick over for almost two weeks. On the previously undisturbed hospital beds were pools of sheets, bunched up at the foot of the bed. She pulled her eyes towards the spaces that Kakashi and Sasuke had occupied, unable able to stop the soft gasp that tore its way out of her throat.

First, she saw Sasuke sitting straight up, looking tired and a little disoriented but…. awake! Without much thought, she rushed forward into the room, tears welling in her eyes as everything else fell away. As she moved forward, she caught sight of Kakashi in the other bed, sitting in the same position but with a soft smile visible in his eyes. Her heart had taken up residence in her skull now, pounding harshly against the backs of her eardrums as sound too fell away from the world. She approached Sasuke’s bed first, his dark eyes turning up to look at her, exhausted and worn. But when he noticed the unrelenting grin on her face, he returned the smile ever so slightly. Just an uptick at the corner’s of his mouth, but it still filled her with indescribable emotion.

She descended upon him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and sitting down on the edge of the bed, pulling him to her and burying her face in the hair on the top of his head. She was careful not to disturb the bandages around his throat, knowing that the now yellowing bruise might still be tender. When she felt his thin arms wrap around her torso in return, the hospital room filled with sound and color again. She drew in a ragged breath against his head, squeezing just a little tighter at the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Hey, badass…”

She breathed out, voice a little uneven and hoarse from the burn of holding back the sobs of joy she wanted to let out. She pulled back, her hands grasping his shoulders as she looked him over.

“Hey…”

He answered, sounding like he’d smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for twenty years. But it didn’t matter. Just hearing his voice again was a godsend and her ears rang a little at the sound.

“How are you feeling?”

She asked quietly, reaching a hand up out of habit to push a piece of his dark hair from his face. Seeing the light slowly coming back to his eyes in this moment… it easily made the list of the most beautiful things she’d ever seen in her life.

“Uh… thirsty.”

He croaked out, his hand coming up to rub his throat, only to jerk away at the feeling of the bandages. His nose crinkled up a little and his eyebrows furrowed as if he was trying to remember what happened. Atsuko immediately moved around him, grabbing the water pitcher from the night stand and pouring him a glass before handing it over, hoping to stop the memories from coming back so quickly. Just wanting him to relax and reorient before he began to unpack everything. The boy took it gratefully, gulping down the entire glass like it was the first drink he’d ever had, only to wince a little at the pain in his throat.

“Slow down…”

Atsuko encouraged, hand rubbing his upper arm in a soothing motion. He took her instructions, drawing a few more slow sips from the glass before holding it out for her to refill. She obliged and then set the pitcher back down.

“Atsuko, right? That’s your name?”

  
A feminine voice asked from over her shoulder, and Atsuko’s head snapped in the direction of the sound. Tsunade was standing just behind her, a patient smile on her face. Atsuko nodded and she continued.

“I need to check his vitals and make sure everything is in working order…”

She stated, and immediately Atsuko stood from the bed to give her room to work, taking a couple steps back towards Kakashi’s bed.

“Of course, I’m so sorry for being in the way.”

She apologized and Tsunade shook her head, chuckling a little.

“Not at all. Jiraiya and Naruto told me how worried you were… So, I wanted to make sure you saw that they were okay as soon as I could.”

Tsunade said, reaching out a soft hand to grasp Atsuko’s, giving it a comforting squeeze before turning back to Sasuke to do her once over. She was a little stunned by the woman’s kindness, but before she had too much time to think it over, she felt the edge of another bed hit the back of her knees.

She looked down at the object and her eyes trailed up, only to be met with the smiling face of her fiancé. Well, face was a strong word. He was still wearing the mask that covered the bottom portion, but she could see the smile in his eyes and the thin line of his lips against the black material.

“Do I get the same warm welcome?”

He asked, voice just as hoarse as Sasuke’s but seeming a little more cognizant than the boy. Atsuko could only stare at him in awe for a few moments before his words fully registered and she chuckled in disbelief. He had just been awoken from a coma but still managed to find it within himself to tease her. Sitting on the edge of his bed, she did the same with him as she did with Sasuke. Throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling him to her, burying her face in his neck as his arms wound around her waist. He tugged her closer until they were pressed firmly against one another, just breathing in each others scents. When she finally managed to pull back a little, she pressed a quick kiss to his masked lips, hearing him hum in contentment.

“Of course. You’re unexpectedly chipper.”

She replied, combing her fingers back through his silver hair and staring at his face with a loving expression. So pure and raw she could feel the heat in her eyes.

“Yeah, it’s not my first coma.”

Kakashi quipped back, and Atsuko chuckled a little at that, replying,

“Well, I pray it’s your last.”

In a teasing tone, but Kakashi was quick to correct her.

“Doubt it.”

With an exasperated sigh, she brought her hand down to smack his chest gently, the smile never leaving her face. Just seeing him awake and hearing his voice… it made her feel truly calm for the first time in weeks. Like she could handle anything with him at her side. Her hand dropped down and she interlaced their fingers together, bringing his hand up to place a warm kiss to the back of it. Suddenly, her eyes caught sight of the wooden memory chest sitting on the windowsill by his bed and her eyes went a little wide before she let out a breathy chuckle.

“You would not believe what you’ve missed.”

She breathed out, and he followed her line of sight, seeing the box and returning her words with a quirk of his brow.

“Oh yeah? After Tsunade clears us, we can go home and you can tell me all about it.”

He promised, flipping her hand and bringing it up to press a kiss to the back of hers as well. After a few more moments of just basking in each others presence, Tsunade came to run her check up on Kakashi as well. When Atsuko stepped back a little, it seemed that Sasuke was regaining some awareness as Sakura approached his bedside, along with Naruto. The pink haired girl chatted openly, tears welling in her massive green eyes. She decided to let the team catch up a little, opting to not interrupt their babbling. Then, she felt eyes on her. Her head jerked up towards the door and she caught sight of Jiraiya, leaning against the frame as he stared at her intensely. His eyes were a little narrowed, like he was searching for something on her face, and when she caught him staring he averted his gaze immediately, turning instead to stare at the back of Naruto’s head.

Well, now was as good a time as any, Atsuko decided. Quietly and smoothly, as not to draw attention to herself, she moved to grab the wooden keepsake box from the windowsill. Then, she carefully made her way over to Jiraiya’s side, making sure to keep her eyes trained on the scene of Kakashi, Tsunade, and Team 7 in front of her. Without looking up at him, she drew close enough to utter under her breath.

“Can I speak to you in the hall?”

Then, without another word, she watched as Jiraiya nodded in her peripheral. He carefully reached behind him and slid the door open enough so that they could slip out into the hall, Atsuko closing the door quietly behind them as not to disturb the people in the room or draw any awkward questions.

Standing in the quiet hallway with the much larger man, Atsuko suddenly felt incredibly small. Her gaze fixed on the wooden box in her hands as she tried to find the words she had planned to say, but they continuously slipped through her fingers. For a few moments, they both stood in completely silence. The only discernible noise was the sound of that damn clock ticking on the wall and the soft buzzing of the overhead lights. Without saying anything, she had a strange feeling that Jiraiya already knew what she had pulled him aside to say. Keeping that in mind, she realized that delaying the inevitable was childish, and she turned her head up to look at him.

Her heart skipped a beat as his face came into view. Not only did he look different in her eyes thanks to the letters and the knowledge that he was her father, but the expression that was plastered on his face was one she’d never forget. That too big mouth was curved up in a warm smile and his eyes melted into the loving expression, eyelids drooping as his face relaxed. It was like looking in a mirror, she realized as her heart lurched into her throat again. Not that she could define or separate the specific features on his face that reminded her of her own. But his face just… moved in the same way hers did. She was fairly sure she had a picture at home of her watching Sasuke with the same blissed out expression on her face.

Atsuko knew she needed to speak. To say something and thrust the box into his hands before tucking tail and running. But when her mouth dropped open, no words came out. Her eyebrows furrowed in frustration and she snapped her mouth shut as Jiraiya began to chuckle. This deep, mellow, sound that bubbled up from his chest and filled the previously cold hallway with the warmth of a blazing campfire. He dropped his head back with the laugh, barking it out loudly this time as his shoulders and mane of white hair bounced. Again, Atsuko was floored. That boisterous laugh of his was just like hers. Head tilted back and all. The realization snapped her out of her trance and her cheeks burned as a deep blush spread across her face.

“W-why are you laughing?”

She asked, brow furrowed together in confusion and frustration. This was one of the most emotional moments of her life… and he was laughing? Slowly, the laughter died down and he brought his head back forward, wiping at the small tears under his eyes.

“Your face was priceless, kid. You look just like her, it’s honestly a little scary.”

He commented, that same lazy smile from before coming back to grace his features and shine some light down on her. Atsuko’s eyes widened and before she could really process what he’d said, she spoke again.

“You knew?”

She asked, her voice quiet and small compared to his booming one. How long had he-

“Yeah. Ever since I saw you in that hotel. The way you looked at that kid… It was the same look she used to give me when I got hurt. Then I noticed that streak of white in your hair. Your eyes. Your mouth. I might be old, but I’m not stupid.”

Jiraiya replied, tilting his head to the side a little as Atsuko worried her bottom lip between her teeth. Small tears had begun to prickle at her eyes and she balled the sleeve of her cardigan up in her fist, bring the material up to wipe them away. Fuck, he already made her feel like a kid. Some weepy child.

“How long have you known?”

He asked, cutting past her thoughts and causing her to look back up at him with a worrying expression.

“Just as long as you have. I had a feeling then too but when I got home… I found this box. It’s full of your letters to mom.”

She stated, slowly bringing her arms up to offer him the wooden chest. He took it in one massive hand, the fingers of his free one coming up to run over the grain on the top of the box as he stared down at it with a soft smile. Then, the realization set in and a blush covered his face. He turned his wide eyes up to meet her gaze again and stuttered out a few sounds in search of a sentence to string together. The expression he wore caused Atsuko to drop her head back with a laugh as well. When she finally pulled her head back up, he was still struggling and a bead of sweat had formed on his brow, but he was smiling now.

“Yeah, some of the lewd ones are in there too. But I did my best to skip over them.”

Atsuko assured, causing the man in front of her to let out a relieved sigh, dropping his head forward in mild embarrassment. There was a lull of silence before either of them spoke again, but Atsuko already felt the comforting energy of his presence seeping into her bones. It’s like her body knew who he was. Her muscles relaxing and the nervousness from before melting away.

“You can take those and read them if you want… There’s one letter in there addressed to me that you can read as well. Along with a few things I assume you gave her? I kept this…”

Atsuko advised, bringing her hand up to the neckline of her shirt, fishing below the neckline to produce the necklace she’d found in the box. The silver chain with the small ball of polished Obsidian. She dangled it between her fingers and Jiraiya’s face lit up again as he reached out one his large hands to slide under the chain, holding the small stone in the palm of his hand with a smile. Atsuko allowed him to reminisce briefly and when he pulled away he nodded in the affirmative.

“I did give that to her. But it looks good on you too. Keep it.”

Jiraiya replied, before the smile fell from his face and he looked back down at the box with a more serious expression.

“She’s gone, isn’t she?”

He questioned lowly, and Atsuko nodded slowly. She’d almost forgotten that he may not have known that.

“Yeah… it was a long time ago. I was 12. She’d been sick for a couple years.”

She answered, watching as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, seemingly trying to calm down. He likely had the hunch that she was dead, but to hear it wasn’t even remotely recent may have left him feeling guilty for not knowing. Another silence fell between them before Jiraiya raised his head again with a nod, drawing in a deep breath and swallowing harshly against the lump in his throat.

“She’s buried here…?”

He asked, and again Atsuko nodded. Jiraiya seemed to except this answer, looking back down at the box for a moment before turning his eyes back up to her.

“I want… to get to know you, Atsuko. But, you should probably get back to…”

Atsuko gave him a sad smile,

“My family. Kakashi and Sasuke are my family.”

She clarified softly, and Jiraiya nodded again, turning to look at the hospital door for a moment with a smile on his face. He’d gained a daughter, a son in law, and essentially a grandchild in roughly 15 minutes. That had to be some kind of record.

“I’m leaving on a mission in the morning. But… would you like to get dinner this evening? I’m sure they’ll be stuck here for a while yet, being poked and prodded at.”

Atsuko asked, tilting her head to the side a little and Jiraiya nodded in the affirmative, the smile on his face growing.

“8 o’clock? The barbecue place?”

  
  
He asked, and Atsuko nodded in return,

“It’s a date.”

She confirmed, and they said their quick goodbyes as Atsuko slipped back into the hospital room and Jiraiya left the building all together, likely on his way to visit Akari’s grave. When she entered the room, Kakashi raised his eyebrow at her and she just smiled back at him with a soft shrug, bringing her finger up to mouth in a motion for him to be quiet about what all he may have seen. She’d fill in him later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoyed the new chapter! I know I keep making promises in the notes of chapters and then not giving you the stuff I promise until much later and I am SORRY. I just get carried away writing and new scenes pop into my head its a curse. So, I won't make any promises for the next chapter here. HOWEVER, I did say I was sticking close to canon and uh... everyone knows what happens after Sasuke wakes up from the coma, right? Yeah, it's gonna be a tear jerker boys. See ya next week ;)


	20. The Beginning of the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: There is a mention of suicidal thoughts and a brief description of dissociation in this chapter. It occurs in the second flashback, differentiated by the italics. Stay safe out there, everyone! 
> 
> Songs that Inspired Chapter 20, in order of scenes: 
> 
> Space Girl - Frances Forever
> 
> Sign of the Times - Harry Styles
> 
> This Year - The Mountain Goats
> 
> As the World Caves In - Matt Maltese

"So, that’s all she ever said about me, huh?”

Jiraiya questioned, taking another sip from the sake cup in front of him before leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. He was starting to develop a dusting of blush across his cheeks, warmth spreading as the alcohol slowly pumped through his body. Atsuko shrugged as she finished off her cup, pouring herself another drink from the bottle on the table.

“Well, it was all she ever said when I asked about my dad… but, she used to tell me stories about the ‘Legendary Sanin’ all of the time when I was a kid.”

She answered, leaning back in her seat a little and stretching her back with a gentle sigh. They hadn’t been here long, but the tension in her muscles had been present since she’d started her walk to the restaurant. The alcohol was starting to loosen her up, but she still found it difficult to relax fully. Jiraiya had asked her the first question when they’d sat down, wanting to know if Akari had ever spoken about him. So, Atsuko had answered with a few brief snippets her mother had given her throughout her childhood. Like the conversation they’d had in the kitchen.

Jiraiya smirked to himself a little at her response, looking down at the cup in front of him for a second as he thought it over. A few moments of silence fell over the table as Atsuko watched him consider his next move. The energy between them wasn’t necessarily awkward, considering they seemed to both understand that the other was unsure of how to proceed. Where the hell were they supposed to start? It was totally uncharted territory and Atsuko found that she really didn’t care for not being able to read the situation a little better. She took another sip of her drink, mostly just to give her hands something to do as they both figured out their game plans. However, before she could solidify her strategy, Jiraiya was speaking again.

“In that case, I want to hear about what you’ve been up to. Since you already know so much about my fantastic exploits.”

He stated, a wide smile on his face as he sat back in his seat and crossed his arms over his wide chest. Atsuko cursed herself silently. The first to speak would, of course, be the one who determined how the conversation went, and Jiraiya had just put himself in a position to listen instead of worrying about what to say. Smart.

Still, she felt a little guilty for viewing this as a mission. Attempting to plan strategy and trying to get the upper hand in a conversation that should be mostly emotionally ruled. But she couldn’t help it. When presented with something she didn’t understand, her mind tried to pick apart the details so she could have the advantage. With a deep breath, she tried to force herself to relax, allowing her shoulders to sag a little.

“Okay… well, I’m a veteran of the Third Shinobi War. I started serving there when I was around 10 years old. Mom died not too long after it ended. I made Jonin at 15, but shortly after I had… an issue. I was benched from missions and spent the next several years training… a young man from the Uchiha clan-“

Jiraiya interrupted her, shaking his head a little too quickly, his white hair bouncing wildly.

“No, no. This isn’t a job interview. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked such a general question. I wanna know how you really feel.”

He commented, more so a command than a request. Atsuko’s eyes had grown a little wide at that, turning her face down to stare at her cup for a second as she considered what exactly she wanted to tell him… what he wanted to hear. She honestly didn’t even know where to start. All of this was so confusing and new and she had no idea how to interact with her father. She gnawed her bottom lip a little and finally decided to just air everything out.

“Right now, I’m feeling like I have no fucking clue what to say. This entire situation is really strange… and I don’t know how to handle it. So, yeah.”

Atsuko huffed out, the attitude in her voice a little more scathing than she meant it to be. It wasn’t his fault that this was happening. It was, however, his fault for putting her in the hot seat. Though, it really couldn’t be helped in this situation. Someone had to talk first.

“Yeah, me too. But I’m trying, here. Why don’t… why don’t you tell me about Sasuke and Kakashi? How you met them. All that stuff.”

Jiraiya offered, shrugging a little and gesturing toward her with his massive hand. Atsuko stared at him for a moment in wide eyed surprise, blinking a couple times as she registered the meaning behind his words. He _was_ trying. Asking questions to get to know her better. Make up for lost time. He actually cared and she had been trying her hardest to remain semi-impartial since she’d gotten here. Thinking their only link was her mother. When in reality, he’d already accepted that she was his daughter and that their true link was blood. Her brow furrowed as the thought washed over her and she nodded once with a newfound determination.

“Yeah, I could talk about them for hours… So, I guess I need to go back to when I started training Itachi Uchiha…”

Atsuko started, a new sparkle in her eyes and a gentle smile on her face as she dug into the story. All of the encouragement she needed to continue being right there, in Jiraiya’s loving gaze.

———————————————————————-

As the night went on, Atsuko did find herself talking about the circumstances that had led to her raising Sasuke and her relationship with Kakashi. In fact, after an hour she was still jabbering on, the alcohol in her system making the thoughts pour from her mouth like a broken faucet. Mostly regarding Sasuke and how intensely proud she was of him. How incredible he was and how she couldn’t see her life going any other way. She explained that she’d been a little hesitant at first, taking him in.

“…you know, honestly, Sasuke causes me a ton of grief. I worry about him near constantly and I just want him to be safe… and happy… and content. I know I can’t make him do those things or fix everything that’s happened to him, but I want to try. And, at first, I was really unsure about taking him in. Playing single mom to a boy who wasn’t my own? It was scary. But… now? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I would die just to support his journey and growth.”

She finished, her talking finally coming to a slow as she stared down at her cup with a loving smile, her heart full and heavy. Taking another sip from her glass, she turned her face up to look at Jiraiya across the table. He was still listening patiently, a similar smile on his expressive face. Atsuko glanced over his shoulder at the clock on the wall and immediately brought her hand up to cup over her mouth in a gasp.

“Oh my god! I’ve been talking for an hour! I’m so sorry!”

She apologized quickly, the glow on her face from the alcohol only deepening to a darker shade of red, running all the way to the tips of her ears. Jiraiya only dropped his head back, barking out a booming laugh that had a couple of the other patrons in the restaurant whipping their heads towards the offending noise.

“No need to apologize! With a mouth like that, you really must be my daughter.”

He replied, still chuckling a little as the blush on her face faded and she looked down at her lap with an embarrassed expression. Atsuko’s heart had done a flip in her chest at his use of the word ‘daughter’. Talking to him had really felt like… talking to her mom. She didn’t feel the need to hide anything or keep her emotions in check. Once the words had started, she hadn’t been able to stop them.

“You’re pretty calm about all of this.”

Atsuko commented once she’d calmed down a little, turning her eyes back up to meet his. Jiraiya let out a soft sigh, shrugging his shoulders as he sat back in his booth.

“Maybe it hasn’t really hit me yet. But, honestly, I don’t see much point in being upset or angry. You seem like a well-rounded young woman and we both have lives of our own… I wish… I wish I had known sooner. So I could have at least been around a little. But can’t really change the past. All there is to do now is get to know each other.”

Jiraiya replied, and Atsuko found herself agreeing with every word, nodding slowly as he spoke. It was the same way she’d felt after the initial shock and emotion had worn off. It didn’t make sense to mourn the time she hadn’t gotten to spend with him. To be upset over something she’d never had. And, despite some of her lingering daddy issues, she’d turned out just like he’d said. Pretty well-rounded. Her hang ups and anxiety were not because she didn’t have her father around as a child. They were scars from the life she’d chosen to lead in her youth.

“I feel the same way. It’s strange, for sure. But I feel like it’s going well so far.”

Atsuko replied and Jiraiya nodded in agreement, flashing her that winning smile.

“It sure is. You know, it’s really funny. You look so much like her it’s almost unreal. But you kind of act like me?”

He questioned and Atsuko chuckled at that, shrugging a little as she sipped her drink. She supposed that there were some similarities. Based on his flirtatious comment in the hotel, his books, and his letters to her mother, she knew he was… provocative, to say the least. She could relate to that, considering her own sexual escapades. Because of his books and the way he approached conversation, she also knew he considered things deeply as well, just like she did. Leading a rich inner life. Then, the thought of his books had her blushing again. Kakashi read them like they were going out of style and they’d… incorporated some of the scenes into their sex life on a couple occasions. The thought that her father had essentially scripted-

She found herself silencing the thoughts by downing the rest of her drink in a quick swallow, only to refill the cup again. A brief shudder ran up her spine and she almost considered leaving and pretending this never happened, just out of sheer embarrassment.

“Yeah, I guess I can see that… But I would need to know more about you to really understand.”

Atsuko replied, hoping that the flush on her face could just be chalked up to the alcohol.

“Well, I like long walks on the beach and feisty women. Guess I would call myself a tits man, but ass is equally as important-“

Jiraiya stated, stroking his chin as if he were deep in thought. But Atsuko cut him off with a boisterous laugh of her own, dropping her head back against the booth as her shoulders bounced with the force of it. When the fit died down, she shook her head, still grinning from ear to ear.

“No, come on! Tell me something important. I also just don’t care to hear about my father’s sexual preferences.”

She commented and Jiraiya laughed as well, raising his hands in defeat before settling his elbows back on the table in front of them.

“Alright, alright. Uh, something important….”

He mused, pursing his lips and clicking his tongue softly against the roof of his mouth. Atsuko only watched in mild amusement, eyebrows raised. So, he really was funny, just like her mother’s letter had said. Goofy. She could work with that. Suddenly, Jiraiya’s face relaxed as he settled on something to tell her.

“Okay, I got it. I’ll tell you about the night I met your mom.”

Jiraiya started, and Atsuko nodded with a newfound interest, leaning forward with her elbows on the table and her head cradled in her hands.

For the next 20 minutes, Jiraiya weaved a tale that seemed too perfect to be true. Full of scenes that felt like he pulled them straight from some rom-com. She couldn’t tell if he was embellishing or if he really was just an amazing story teller, but either way he managed to pull every single emotion from her that he was looking for. She laughed at the awkward exchanges and cooed at the sweet as candy ending.

He had explained that they had, indeed, officially met at the training grounds. However, he had seen her weeks prior and decided to set up the encounter as an excuse to talk to her. The story was full of misfires and cringe inducing pick up lines, but by the end, Atsuko was honestly a little swept off her feet. She could imagine how her mother had fallen for him so easily. Despite his horrible pick up lines and slightly perverted nature, he was actually pretty charming and sweet. Well, based on his version of events anyway. But Atsuko knew it had to at least be close to the truth because her mother was a very… literal woman. She didn’t waste much time on flowery words or being charismatic, and she was also an incredible judge of character. She was too down to earth to get wrapped up in a tryst with someone who didn’t have good intentions. Jiraiya had a heart of gold, Atsuko realized, and she knew her mother had seen that in him as well.

A few more hours slipped away in easy conversation as Atsuko and Jiraiya shared stories from their pasts. At first, they just shared lighthearted memories involving her mother. Then he told her some stories involving the other Sanin, some funny and some badass. She shared some stories about teaching at the Academy and training Sasuke. They shared tips in that area. Then they moved on to some more heavy topics. Sharing war stories and comparing scars. After a particularly devastating story involving the death of one of Atsuko’s classmates, they managed to steer the conversation back to a lighter a note. Jiraiya bragged about Naruto for a bit, commending the boys strength and telling her of the fight against Orochimaru that had occurred on their mission to bring Tsunade back to the village. She made a mental note to thank Naruto and Tsunade properly when things settled back down a little. That story though opened an entirely other can of worms as Atsuko told him about the recent Chunin Exams and Team 7’s run in with Orochimaru there.

By the time the restaurant kicked them out around closing, they were both mildly inebriated and leaning against one another for support as they stumbled down the dark streets back towards the hospital. It really did feel like catching up with an old friend, Atsuko realized. Especially when they talked about the more serious topics. She was far from being a Sanin or even a prominent figure in the Third Shinobi War, but he had related to her stories and her pain. Understood the psychological scars the war had left behind, because he had dealt with them as well. Then, when they’d cut around to lighter topics, she found herself smiling and laughing so much that her cheeks ached.

“You know, Jiraiya… If I had to find out anyone was my dad, I’m glad it was you.”

Atsuko chirped, slurring her words slightly as her hand came up to pat his back in a friendly gesture. Jiraiya stumbled a little over air, but managed to stay upright without putting on much of a show.

“And if I had to find out that I had a daughter I didn’t know about, I’m glad it was you!”

He replied proudly, flashing that bright grin and bringing his massive hand down to clap harshly against her shoulder. The action almost threw Atsuko off balance and she giggled as she found her footing again. Her face lit up in thought and she turned to him wide eyed, stopping walking entirely.

“Oh! Do you have any cool Sanin things you could teach me?”

She asked, clasping her hands together excitedly. Jiraiya had stopped walking as well, tilting his head to the side curiously as he processed her question before his face lit up as well.

“Do I! I wonder… what Genjutsu would be like in Sage Mode…”

He muttered to himself, and it Atsuko had dog ears they would have shot straight up at his words.

“Sage mode? What the hell is that?”

She asked, stepping closer and watching in awe as the much larger man stroked his chin in thought. Another second of silence passed before Jiraiya waved his hand to disregard her questions.

“Ah, don’t worry about it now. But I could definitely teach you some cool techniques. I’m a pretty great teacher, ya know…”

He bragged, arms crossing over his chest and continuing onward in a confident tone as he and Atsuko walked back to the hospital, her hanging on his every word.

They walked for another 20 minutes, Jiraiya filling the silence with his ramblings about teaching. He divulged a couple of his techniques to Atsuko, wondering aloud if she’d inherited any of his natural abilities as well as his dense chakra reserve. He’d told her a little bit about Sage Mode, but the idea went over her head. He promised to show her sometime so she’d have a better understanding of the ability and he also said he’d have to introduce her to a couple of his friends who’d helped him achieve the state. Though he didn’t divulge who those friends were.

Atsuko found her thoughts wandering a little as Jiraiya talked. Not that he wasn’t incredibly interesting, he was. But she found the thoughts running through her head were too loud to ignore. This man she’d spent the evening with… it was like seeing her best friend for the first time in months, nervous that maybe they’d grown apart, only to realize nothing had changed. After the initial anxiety had worn off, she and Jiraiya had clicked immediately. Like a soul connection. The surface level stuff and the more in depth feelings they shared all fit together perfectly. On top of their complimentary thoughts and personalities, Atsuko found that she was actually in awe of the man. Even as they walked down the dark streets of the village, she felt like she standing in a warm ray of sunlight in his presence.

Just as she had that thought, she realized that Jiraiya had stopped talking and they were currently standing outside the front gate of the hospital. It took her a second to re-orient, but when she did, she turned to Jiraiya with a smile.

“This is my stop… Jiraiya, I had an awesome time tonight and I’m so glad that I got to meet you.”

Atsuko said, reaching a hand out with the intent to shake his hand. Jiraiya only smiled, grabbing her hand quickly and using his grip to pull her into a bruising hug. His massive arms wrapped tightly around her back and his loose fitting clothes combined with his naturally large frame, Atsuko found that she was drowning. The smell of dirt and cheap cologne filled her nostrils and his warmth began to swallow her whole. Her arms came up to wrap around him the best they could in this position and, without warning, tears started to flow. At first, she tried to hide them, but when she sniffled for the first time she felt Jiraiya’s grip on her tighten and that reassurance was all she needed for the dam to finally break.

She gripped the material of his shirt in tight fists as soft sobs poured from her lips. The comforting hug cut through every barrier she had unconsciously erected through the night and just knowing that her _father_ was the one holding her had Atsuko releasing wave after wave of emotion. She felt him bury his nose in the hair on the top of her head and then a couple drops of wetness against her scalp as well. The knowledge that he was shedding a few tears as well only caused her to cry harder.

After a few more minutes of this, Atsuko let her hands drop from his back and Jiraiya carefully released his iron grip on her. When she pulled away she cast her eyes to the ground, quickly bringing her hand up to wipe at her cheeks.

“S-sorry about that…”

She muttered to fill the silence, letting out a disbelieving chuckle at the end. Jiraiya reached out and place his hand on the top of her head, causing Atsuko to turn her eyes up in shock. He was smiling at her, no evidence of his tears visible on his face.

“Don’t be. I’m really glad I met you, too, Atsuko.”

He replied, giving her that wide grin, teeth on full display. Atsuko stared at him for a moment in wide-eyed wonder before a smile settled on her features as well.

“I… I have a mission that starts tomorrow. I should only be gone for a few days but… when I get back, would you want to come over and have dinner at my house? You’d get to meet Kakashi and Sasuke and Naruto can come too.”

She suggested, the life coming back to her voice with every word. The idea of her little family, all gathered at her kitchen table… It was almost enough to make her cry again. Jiraiya’s hand dropped from the top of her head and he nodded in the affirmative.

“It’s a date, then.”

And with that, they said their goodbyes. Atsuko heading back into the hospital and Jiraiya setting off for his hotel.

As Atsuko slid open the door to Kakashi and Sasuke’s hospital room, she did her best to be quiet. It was a little late and she remember Hatsu telling her this afternoon that, even after being in a coma, they would likely be exhausted. Doing her best not to disturb their sleep, she slid the door back shut quietly before turning around to look across the room. Sasuke was sleeping soundly, curled up on his side like normal and even drooling a little on the pillow. A little chuckle worked its way up her throat and she turned her eyes to the only source of light in the room.

Kakashi, however, was not asleep. He was sitting up in the middle of his bed, the lamp on his nightstand turned on as his eyes scanned over the pages of a book in his hand. At her chuckle, he pulled his eyes away from the book and gave her a soft smile, tucking a corner of the page he was on and shutting the novel.

“Hey…”

He whispered as she approached his bed, scooting over to give her room to slide in beside him. Atsuko climbed onto the mattress next to him, leaning her head against his shoulder for a moment as they acclimated to each others presence.

“Hey… you’re not tired?”

She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder as they both turned to face each other, crossing their legs underneath themselves. Kakashi shrugged,

“Not my first coma, remember?”

He offered and Atsuko just chuckled in response, her hand coming up to pick a piece of lint from his mask.

“Yeah, yeah. I heard ya the first time.”

She teased back. Before she could pull her hand away from his mask, Kakashi’s hand shot up and gripped her wrist, forcing her to stay leaned towards him. His free hand came up to tug down his mask and he closed the gap between them, placing a soft, chapped-lipped, kiss to Atsuko’s mouth. Her eyes fluttered shut and she returned the kiss, her free hand traveling upwards to cup the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair.

When they separated, Atsuko’s eyes opened slowly and a lazy smile took over her face. Kakashi mimicked the expression as he released his grip on her wrist, only to reach forward and tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

“Where’d you run off to? We thought you’d just ran home to shower or get some clothes.”

Kakashi asked, a little concern in his voice. Atsuko’s eyes widened as she realized she hadn’t told them where she was going. The medical-nin had been busy poking at them when she’d had to leave for dinner with Jiraiya. She just figured they’d be busy for a while and wouldn’t notice her absence.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry. I was gone way longer than I meant to be… I had dinner with Jiraiya.”

She answered, the alcohol in her body and still riding the high of being around her father making it so she didn’t understand why that probably sounded pretty strange to Kakashi. He quirked a brow, tilting his head to the side.

“Uh-huh… okay. Why though? Not planning on leaving me for him, are you?”

He teased, and Atsuko chuckled a little before crinkling her nose in disgust.

“Oh god no… I guess I didn’t really have time to drop this bomb on you earlier in the day. While you guys were out, I found out that he’s my dad.”

Atsuko answered, figuring it would be best to just tell him the truth before giving him the story that lead to the conclusion. Kakashi’s eyes widened at the information, his eyebrows shooting straight up in shock. She chuckled a little at his expression but nodded anyway, throwing her hands up in mild surrender.

“I know. It sounds insane, but I’m totally serious. If you feel like you’re up for it, I can fill you in on what all has happened.”

She offered and, immediately, Kakashi nodded eagerly.

“Yeah. Yeah, I wanna hear all of it.”

Over the course of the next few hours, Atsuko told Kakashi everything that had happened since he was out of commission. About how Sasuke had found out Itachi was back. How he had tracked him down, only to end up in the same position Kakashi was in. She didn’t have all of the details about what had happened in that hotel hallway, but she inferred the best she could from the damage. Then she told him about what Jiraiya had said to her. How she and Tenzo had gone through the box of letters and photos together. Finally, she recapped everything she’d discussed with Jiraiya that night, including their hug at the end.

By the time she and Kakashi had discussed the entirety of the previous weeks events, the sun was peaking over the horizon. Despite the fact that it had taken so long to go over everything, Atsuko felt twenty pounds lighter when it was all said and done. She hadn’t realized that even though she’d talked a lot of this over with Tenzo, it made all the difference in the world to share it with the person she most wanted to share it with. As their final conversation died out, Atsuko was leaning against the headboard with Kakashi stretched out underneath her, his head in her lap as she combed her fingers through his hair.

“Wow. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that by yourself.”

He piped up, Atsuko looking down at her lap and meeting his eyes with a shake of her head.

“Don’t be. I wasn’t alone. Tenzo was here throughout all of it, actually. And Sakura stopped by almost every day. At one point, this room was full of Genin. Don’t feel bad for being hurt, that’s silly.”

She replied, flicking his forehead lightly with her middle finger only to chuckle again when he hissed in pain.

“I’m just so grateful you’re both okay… well, as okay as you can be I guess. I’m still worried about Sasuke…”

She sighed, her eyes filtering over to the where the young boy slept soundly in his hospital bed, curled up with his back to her. She felt Kakashi nod a little against her lap and the action drew her attention back to him.

“Yeah… but try not to worry too much. You have to leave for that mission in a few hours and you need to stay focused. I’ll keep an eye on him and when you get back you can talk to him about what happened.”

  
  
Kakashi reassured, and Atsuko let out another sigh, dropping her head back against the wall.

“Fuck, I had almost forgotten about that. I wish I could have found someone to take my spot yesterday but it was too last minute. I hate to leave you guys right after you’ve woken up. I also regret everything I’ve ever done in my life that lead to me being up all night the day before a mission.”

Atsuko complained, only to feel Kakashi chuckle against her before speaking up.

“You’ll live. And we will be fine, I promise. Speaking of, you should probably get going. You still have to pack up, I assume.”

Atsuko nodded a little at his assumption and she let out one final suffering sigh as she turned to look at the sun rising over the village. After a second more, she dipped down and pressed another kiss to Kakashi’s mouth, feeling his back pull up off the mattress a little in an attempt to meet her. She pulled back, their lips separating with a soft pop and Kakashi sat up to allow her to climb out of the bed.

“Alright, I will see you a few days. Please try to make sure you both stay rested and fed. I’ve already asked a couple of the Genin to come by and see you guys while I’m gone. As well as Gai and the others.”

She advised, smiling when Kakashi rolled his open eye in annoyance.

“We are, quite literally, in a hospital. I don’t think babysitters are necessary, Atsuko.”

He sighed out, only to be met with a shrug of her shoulders and a wry grin.

“Hush. They also want to come see you both. Believe it or not, your friends care about you. I know, it’s a shocker. Take all the time you need to cope.”

She replied sarcastically, leaning in to peck his lips one more time as he chuckled. With a final pat to his arm she moved to leave the room, stopping for a moment to crouch by Sasuke’s bedside. He was still sleeping, but she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and running her fingers through his dark hair. The boy stirred a little, eyes opening slowly and blinking as he tried to determine who was in front of him.

“Hey, badass… I have to head out on a mission for a couple days. But when I get back we’ll talk and I’ll make your favorite dinner, okay?”

Atsuko whispered, watching as Sasuke blinked a couple more times before nodding a little and nuzzling back into his pillow to get some more sleep, his eyes scrunching shut. She leaned forward with a smile, pressing a quick kiss to his forehead as she mumbled ‘ _I love you’_ before pulling away to rise back to full height and waving at Kakashi.

“When he wakes up, tell him I’m sorry for leaving so soon.”

She instructed, and Kakashi only nodded before returning her wave. With that, Atsuko turned on her heel to leave the hospital room and head home to prepare for the mission.

———————————————————————-

The sun was high in the sky, shining down brightly on the green tree tops surrounding the path they were currently walking down. The sounds of birds chirping overhead and several sandaled feet hitting the ground in unison filled the space. It had been several hours since the escort team had departed from the Hidden Leaf Village and everything was going surprisingly well. So well, in fact, it appeared that they would be reaching their destination by tomorrow morning instead of some time in the evening. Meaning they would all be free to return a little sooner than expected.

The group was lead the down the path by two Jonin, walking protectively in front of a large palanquin that contained the person they were escorting. None of the four Shinobi that had been sent to escort this person had been given much information. Just that they were a part of a family held in high regard that was headed by a tycoon of some undisclosed industry. The palanquin was shouldered by four personal guards, who hadn’t so much as coughed since the journey had begun. Placed in the back of the formation were Tenzo and Atsuko, their positions selected due to Atsuko’s chakra sensory and Tenzo’s ability to build a structure to protect against attacks from the rear if needed.

They chatted amicably, careful to keep their voices low as not to disturb the person inside the palanquin.

“So, what do you think you’re going to say to Sasuke when you get back? I know it’s been eating you alive.”

Tenzo questioned, his eyes never stopping their surveying of the land as they continued their forward march. Atsuko sighed a little, feeling for any unfamiliar chakra in the area.

“I’m not sure. I know this run in with… well, I know it couldn’t have been good for him. Being placed in a Genjutsu like that and not even being able to get a single hit in. There’s also no telling what the Genjutsu was. Kakashi said that he was slowly tortured for 72 hours straight, Tenzo. Though it was only a second in the real world.”

Atsuko stated, taking a brief second to glance at her partner as an involuntary shudder ran down his back. She found herself agreeing with the physical response. Itachi was an insanely powerful Genjutsu user, throw his Sharingan into the mix and he certainly made for a terrifying person. However, she still had a hard time placing him in the box of ‘enemy’ considering everything she knew. Even after what he’d done to Kakashi and Sasuke… she still held out hope that his heart wasn’t totally lost in the darkness. She wondered what Itachi did to Sasuke in that Genjutsu. She didn’t think he would be able to dole out torture personally like he’d done with Kakashi. As she considered all of this, she remembered when Sasuke had told her about the night of the Uchiha Massacre.

_Atsuko was pounding harshly on Sasuke’s bedroom door, tapping her foot impatiently against the wooden floor. There was still no answer from the other side and she let out a groan in response. The boy had come home from a meeting with Team 7 and had promptly stormed back to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him without a word. Kakashi had followed him inside, but he only gave a shrug when Atsuko had asked why he was upset and slamming doors. They’d been playing this game for about 10 minutes now. Atsuko would knock, demand he unlock the door, and would either be met with ‘Go away’ or silence. Her patience was running rather thin._

_“Sasuke Uchiha, if you don’t open this door right now I will blow the lock off. I am not giving you another chance.”_

_She called one final time, pressing her ear against the door to listen for any response. After a few beats of silence, she decided she’d had her fill of non-sense. Her hand came up to grasp the doorknob as she channeled her chakra into her palms. Just as she was about to blast the doorknob off, there was a soft *click* from the other side and the knob turned on it’s own. Sasuke opened the door just a crack, only enough for her to see one of his dark eyes glaring at her._

_“There, it’s open. Now will you please leave me the hell alone?”_

_  
  
He hissed, though Atsuko could hear the crack in his voice as he did so. However, she didn’t bring attention to it, opting to raise her eyebrows in surprise._

_“Leave you the hell alone? First of all, you don’t get to come home and slam doors, then not answer when I ask you what’s wrong. I’m not an idiot. Second, don’t swear at me like that. You want to keep being a smart-ass, fine. But all I want to know is what’s wrong. I’m not here to yell at you.”_

_She responded, the slight bite in her tone not at all comparable to the anger that was still bubbling in her chest. It was disrespectful and rude, but she knew better than to think Sasuke was acting this way just because he could. He knew better and he always treated her and the house with respect. Except for when he was upset._

_“Nothing’s wrong.”_

_He snapped back and Atsuko let out a humorless chuckle, shaking her head and deciding to just force her way into his room. She pushed the door open and stepped inside, ignoring his sounds of protest, before shutting it quietly behind her and leaning against it. When her eyes landed on the boy and she could see his whole face, she realized his eyes were red and puffy from crying. His nose was raw and dried tears stained his cheeks. Immediately, her anger subsided and her eyebrows furrowed in worry._

_“Sasuke… will you just tell me what’s going on? You know I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t care.”_

_She asked, her voice much softer this go around. He continued to glare at her, but his bottom lip began to tremble and the hot tears welled in his eyes once again. When it was clear he was going to lose the battle to keep the tears at bay, he sat down with a huff on the edge of his bed and dropped his head so she couldn’t read his face anymore. Slowly, Atsuko sunk down against the door until she was seated on the floor across from him, allowing him some time to think through what he was going to say. After another bout of silence, Atsuko decided to speak up._

_“Did Kakashi say something to upset you?”_

_And immediately she was answered with the shake of his head. She pursed her lips in reply, listening as he pulled in a few ragged breaths._

_“Naruto or Sakura?”_

_Again, he shook his head at her question. Well, if one of them hadn’t said something to set him off, maybe he was just having a bad day. It did happen on occasion, though he typically didn’t have these external outbursts when he was struggling. He would shut himself in his room or go for a walk without needing Atsuko to intervene, then he’d talk to her when he was ready. Usually, this was just a few words. Explaining he’d just had a bad day or was thinking too much. Atsuko wouldn’t push unless he seemed to still be in genuine distress. She would just accept his explanation and offer to make him his favorite meal. Or lounge on the couch with him until he fell asleep with his head in her lap. But today was different._

_At this point, Sasuke was near seething. Tears running down his face as his eyes squeezed shut in a way she knew had to be painful. Teeth bared as he hissed out his breaths, trying in vain to calm himself down. It seemed like he was only becoming more distraught by the second, unable to vocalize what was bothering him so deeply. So, Atsuko did the only thing she knew to do in this situation. She stood from her position on the floor and came to sit beside him on the edge of his bed. Slowly and carefully, she moved her hand to rest against his back. Sasuke flinched slightly before relaxing into the touch, and she tried to coach him through this attack. Just like Kakashi had done for her a couple months ago._

_“Hey… follow my hand. When I move up your back, breathe in through your nose. When I move down, release it through your mouth. Okay?”_

_She asked quietly, and the boy returned her instructions with a desperate nod. With the go ahead, she began tracking her hand up his back, listening as he struggled to pull in air through his stuffy nose. She held it at the top of his spine for a moment, then slid the hand back down in a single fluid motion. Sasuke let out a ragged sigh and, again, she held her hand steady in the small of is back before trailing back upwards. They went through these motions for a few minutes, until it seemed like he had calmed enough to practice the breathing exercise on his own. The silence in the room without the noise of his distress ringing out was near suffocating. So, she spoke tentatively to fill the space._

_“Ready to talk about it?”_

_Atsuko lead, her question followed by a few more moments of silence as Sasuke considered his words. He finally raised his head, staring straight ahead at the door with a dead eyed expression, clearly worn from the outburst. His ragged voice swung through the air, landing against her eardrums like a punch to the head. The pain in his words leaving her ears ringing and her heart in her stomach._

_“I just… bad day.”_

_Sasuke croaked, but it sounded like he was holding everything he wanted to say in the base of his throat. Stinging and swollen with the need to release._

_“I figured that much… Seems like it might be more than just that, though.”_

_She encouraged, her hand coming up to tuck a wild strand of hair back behind his ear so she could see the side of his face a little more clearly._

_“Is it about Itachi?”_

_Atsuko asked, deciding it was best to cut to the meat of the issue if she wanted to get him to open up at all. Sasuke flinched a little at the name, shoulders going rigged as he dropped his head again to stare at his lap._

_“Yeah…”_

_He answered, the hair previously tucked behind his ear falling out of place and obscuring Atsuko’s view again._

_“About that night?”_

_Her second question was met with another harsh nod._

_“You’ve never told me about it… do you want to?”_

_Atsuko asked, this question going unanswered for a moment. She could tell what he’d likely witnessed based on the position she’d found him in the next morning. Covered in drying blood and distraught beyond belief. Though, he’d never discussed exactly what he’d seen. If he caught Itachi in the act, and if his older brother had said anything to him at all. She never wanted to push him too far by asking about it. Not wanting to make him relive those moments if he didn’t have to. But she also knew that, even without talking about it, he probably did relive them every day. It wasn’t something he would ever forget._

_“Ita-. He made me… relive it. In a Genjutsu. I saw him kill them. Over and over.”_

_Sasuke’s confession cut through Atsuko’s thoughts like a blade, and her heart clenched tightly in her chest after the words registered. Oh god… she’d never known the extent of what he’d seen, but she’d all but assumed he didn’t have to watch his parents die. That he’d caught Itachi after. But hearing that Itachi had used Genjutsu to make him watch it happen… over and over again. It made her sick to her stomach. Immediately, a fire blossomed in her throat and she had to tamper down the anger with a harsh swallow. Even knowing what she knew about Itachi’s reasoning behind the massacre, placing Sasuke in that Genjutsu could not be excused. Her brain offered up the rash thought that he absolutely deserved whatever punishment Sasuke decided to dole out._

_With a deep breath, she managed to stow her shit. Now was not the time or place to be angry. Then another thought occurred to her. Directly after the massacre, Atsuko had used Genjutsu to help Sasuke sleep… without his knowledge or consent. This realization made her feel a foot tall. Disgusting and small. Again, she had to swallow the slime ball in her throat in order to be there for Sasuke. This wasn’t about her. She knew he wasn’t looking for pity, but she couldn’t help the words that poured from her mouth._

_“Sasuke… I’m so sorry…”_

_She whispered, her hand coming up to rub his back again in soothing circles. He didn’t flinch at her touch at all this time, rather his shoulders had appeared to go lax after the admittance. Like he had been carrying that around for a long time and the weight was finally lifted when he spoke the words aloud. Out of his own accord, Sasuke leaned over to rest his head against her chest. Atsuko moved easily, draping her arm over his shoulders and holding him close. He let out another ragged breath before speaking up again._

_“Sometimes I can’t stop seeing it no matter how hard I try…”_

_He sighed out, clearly frustrated as he brought the heels of his hands up to rub at his eyes harshly. Atsuko ran a soothing hand down his arm, massaging gently to keep him present. She could relate to that. Hell, most Shinobi her age could. For years after the war she would have violent images and flashbacks that felt inescapable. It seemed the only thing that helped was time and just natural forgetfulness. Some memories weren’t as clear as they used to be and, as sad as it sounded, she’d just grown used to them over the years. However, she had learned one little trick to keep them at bay._

_“You know… After the war, I had the same problem. It takes time for those images to fade… but I did figure out at trick that helped. You wanna hear it?”_

_She questioned, still stroking his arm in a comforting fashion. Sasuke nodded against her chest and she stared down at the top of his head for a moment before continuing._

_“Well, whenever I was starting to have those thoughts… racing and repetitive. I would try to distract myself but doing something and, as crazy as this is going to sound, talking myself through it. So, for example, sitting down and cleaning my ninja tools. But instead of just doing it in silence where my mind had time to feed me those bad thoughts, I talked through it like I was giving someone else instructions.”_

_She started, feeling him lift off of her a little so he could give her a questioning glance. When her gaze landed on his confused face she let out a brief chuckle, raising her hands in surrender._

__  
  
“I swear. It helped me because I was so focused on giving the proper instructions that I couldn’t focus on anything else. Honestly, just talking in general about what you’re feeling helps. But I understand you have a hard time with that…”

_Atsuko reached out to cradle his jaw with her hands, using her thumbs to wipe away some of the tears that had collected on his cheeks. Sasuke just starred at her for a moment, seemingly in awe as she continued._

_“You know… we don’t talk about this kind of stuff a lot. I don’t want to push you or make you talk when you don’t want to… but you do know that I’m always in your corner. No matter what, you can tell me what’s bothering you and I will listen. I may not fully understand all of the pain you carry around, but I do love you, Sasuke. And because I love you, I will always be here to listen or talk things through with you. Okay?”_

_She encouraged, pulling her hands away from his face only to reach up and gently card her fingers through his hair. Sasuke cast his eyes down to his lap for a moment before turning them back up to meet her gaze._

_“I know… thank you.”_

_He responded, still sounding a little rugged but gaining a little more life in his voice. Atsuko smiled in response._

_“Do you want to talk some more about it? Or would you rather come help me make dinner to take your mind off it? Hell, I can kick Kakashi out for a couple hours and we can talk while we cook.”_

_She offered, and Sasuke smirked a little at the idea of Kakashi being tossed out of the house to make him more comfortable. However, he shook his head a little at the final offer._

_“I can help cook.”_

_He stated and Atsuko leaned in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, holding him there by the back of his head for a moment before releasing her grasp and standing from the bed._

_“Alright. But I’m gonna kick Kakashi out anyway. He’s been bothering me recently while I’m cooking and it’s starting to irritate me.”_

_She stated, throwing the boy a wink when he let out a dry chuckle._

Back in the present, Atsuko fretted over the memory as she chewed the inside of her cheek. Sasuke had clearly been through much more that night than he’d ever told her if he managed to keep just that single piece of information hidden from her for more than 4 years. With his most recent run-in with Itachi and him being placed under a Genjutsu again… she could only imagine what he’d been forced to witness or relive. She knew from experience that even if someone was able to determine they were stuck in a Genjutsu, the images that they saw in that period of time could still leave very real psychological scars. The type of Genjutsu that preyed upon a persons fears were her specialty and how she’d gotten that lovely little nickname. The Nightmare Ninja.

The things she’d witnessed in her lifetime and the dark thoughts that bloomed forth from those experiences had made her more comfortable in crafting in depth nightmare scenarios for her victims. Things of the horrid nature were ones she knew well enough to use to craft a convincing Genjutsu. If she was being particularly volatile, those images would leave grown men screaming and, occasionally, clawing at their eyes. Though she hadn’t set out to specialize in that type of Genjutsu, it just came natural to her after her stint in the war. Just knowing what she could accomplish using a Genjutsu and then knowing that Itachi had far surpassed her in that area long ago… She feared for Sasuke’s mental state after their fight.

“Hey, you gotta focus, Atsuko.”

Tenzo stated from beside her, causing her to be pulled back to the present harshly. She nodded quickly, doing a brief scan of the area for any approaching chakra signatures. When she came up empty she let out a soft sigh.

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s talk about something else, okay?”

She suggested, shaking her head a little to dispel the earlier thoughts. Tenzo gave a curt nod from beside her, deciding to instead ask how her dinner date with Jiraiya had gone. She gave a soft smile and began to unpack the previous night.

———————————————————————-

After spending the night at a hotel in the small village on the way to their destination, the group of Shinobi and guards had delivered their escort back home with no trouble or interference. In fact, it was one of the easiest missions Atsuko had ever been on. The Shinobi had been thanked for escorting the daughter of the tycoon safely and then promptly sent on their way. Despite it being so early in the morning, the walk back to the village would still take a whole day, setting them to arrive early the following morning. The two other Jonin had informed them that there was something else they’d been assigned to handle after this mission and had split off on their own to complete the additional task. This left Tenzo and Atsuko to make the trek back the Hidden Leaf on their own.

They chatted easily during the beginning of the walk. Just filling the silence with conversation about anything that popped into Atsuko’s head. But after a couple hours of this, they fell into a comfortable silence, allowing Atsuko to think back on the last couple weeks and consider how she was truly feeling about the entire situation. Seeing Itachi again had been something she’d never really had the time to process. It had been almost like an out of body experience. Seeing someone she cared for so deeply and having to prepare herself immediately to fight him… it was a lot to take in. On top of that one instance, she was constantly burdened by everything Itachi had done. Wiping out his own clan, indiscriminately. Men, women… and those poor children. It was still something she had trouble imagining, considering how gentle Itachi had been as a child. How in-tune with emotions he was.

_“Yeah, that was good Itachi.”_

_Atsuko stated passively, barely able to focus on the boy in front of her for more than a second at a time. This was only their 5th training session and if she didn’t get it together soon, she might be out of this job as well. No way Lord Third would let her go back to Shinobi work after failing such a simple task. There was no telling what would happen to her after that. Despite all of these logical reasons to stay present and perform well, she couldn’t seem to stop herself from sinking into that ever growing pit of despair. Couldn’t bring herself to really care at all about any of this. Her eyes fell away from the child yet again, staring at nothing as her vision unfocused of its own volition._

_It used to scare her. Not being able to focus or even feel like she still existed. But now, she welcomed the empty feeling because at least it wasn’t a wholly negative one. Her mind overran with thoughts that should elicit some kind of emotional response, but it all felt so detached from her. Like the idea that her life was going no where. That if she fucked up this job, there would be nothing left for her. The only idea that floated around in her head was that if that happened, maybe she would really just put an end to all of this. There was no solace and the good days were few and far between now. What a waste that would be. Mostly of money for burial costs. Even thinking about her own funeral she couldn’t muster up a single tear. Not like much would change if she were gone…_

_A voice cut through the dark haze of her thoughts, and she recognized it was coming from Itachi. But she couldn’t make out a single word he was saying. It sounded like someone was trying to talk to her underwater, garbled and disconnected. Slowly, she forced her eyes back to the young boy, trying her damndest to focus for two seconds. Focus on his voice that was slowly clearing up, on his massive dark eyes, peering at her with concern etched onto his boyish features. Her head throbbed a little from the hangover she was currently nursing, but she managed to pull her spirit back to the realm of the living long enough to hear what he was trying to say._

_“Atsuko-sensei? Are you okay?”_

_Itachi asked in that sweet little voice of his. So soft spoken and the lilt of his tone laced with genuine worry. She felt herself drifting off again immediately after the words registered, but sunk her teeth down on the meat of her cheek to snap out of it. The taste of iron filled her mouth, but the pain was nothing more than a dull ache, her body having become used to the action over the years. So, she tried to focus on the taste of blood instead, managing to nod in response._

_“Yeah, kiddo. I’m alright. Just tired.”_

_Atsuko replied, but even she could hear the emptiness in those words. Tired was the right word, but not in the context she’d framed it in. Just tired of everything. Like she’d lived a thousand life times and wouldn’t find rest until… until…_

_Her bottom lip trembled a little and then the tears started to come. She could feel Itachi’s gaze still fixed on her as she dropped her head forward, unable to stop her eyes from filling to the brim with large, hot, tears. They spilled over, quickly running down her cheeks before gravity pulled them to ground below her feet, darkening the dry dirt. Fuck. God, how did she feel everything and nothing at the same goddamn time? Everything flooded her head, and nothing sank into the pit of her stomach. Slowly, she leaned against the tree at her back and sank down to sit at the base of it, pulling her knees up to bury her face in them, arms wrapped tightly around her shins. She managed to keep her breathing somewhat steady, but the tears wouldn’t stop coming. Almost like an involuntary physical reaction. She didn’t sob or whimper, just tensed every muscle in her body until it hurt, trying to resist the salty tears, only for the action to be futile._

_Atsuko felt Itachi approach her and she knew he was standing in front of her for a moment longer, likely fixing her with that curious expression. His head tilted to the side as he studied her huddled over form, considering if he should do anything or trying to determine why she felt the way she did. As the time passed and Atsuko felt him continuing to stand there, it started to irritate her in the worst way. Here was this child, studying her in one of her darkest moments. Waiting for her to do or say something and the pressure was mounting against the back of her neck like an oppressive boot. Suddenly feeling like a cornered animal, she was prepared to snap at him to back up. To leave her alone. Then, there was a tiny hand resting on her shoulder._

_The warmth of it sunk into her muscles and then a layer further to the bones in her neck. She turned her head back up, watery eyes meeting the wide eyed gaze of the young boy. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and then she felt it. All of the muscles in her body unclenched, the throbbing pain in her head subsided and the tears began to dry. It was just like the first day she’d met Itachi. The energy rolling off of him was calming her, in a way he likely wasn’t even aware of. It was just his presence. She felt her eyelids begin to relax and her breathing return to normal. He was looking at her like… he understood? No older than 6 and he stood before her with no fear or malice. Just offering that entrancing gaze and a warm hand on her shoulder._

_It was almost otherworldly and Atsuko found her mind growing silent. Something about this boy…_

_“It’s okay to be sad sometimes, Atsuko-sensei.”_

_He offered quietly, and it felt like Atsuko had been punched in the stomach. All the air forced from her lungs as she choked on the exhale. She sat in shock for a moment, until a soft thunderclap drew both of their attention. They turned their eyes to the sky, only to notice that dark grey clouds had rolled in during the training session. Then, like a divine confirmation of Itachi’s statement, the rain began to fall._

_Atsuko stumbled to her feet, her body moving without much thought as she grabbed Itachi’s hand and led him a little deeper into the wooded area surrounding the clearing they were in. She found a large tree to take shelter under until the pop-up summer storm passed. The rain started to pelt the ground outside of their little circle of cover, quickly soaking the vegetation and dry dirt as the soft thunder continued to roll. After a moment of just watching the puddles form, Atsuko sunk back down to her previous position against the trunk of the tree and Itachi did the same. A few more minutes of silence passed between the two before Itachi spoke again._

_“Why were you crying?”_

_He asked, quiet voice barely audible over the sounds of the storm. Atsuko let out a gentle sigh, having been too preoccupied in the last few minutes to really think about her situation from before. He was just a child, she reminded herself. No matter how comforting his presence was or how much he seemed to understand, she was just projecting. Looking for comfort in a semi-familiar presence and latching onto anyone she could. So, she responded to him in the way adults were supposed to respond to children._

_“Well… sometimes adults get sad about things that happened to them in the past.”_

_Atsuko replied, resting her head back against the bark of the tree, appreciating the way it scratched at her scalp. She tried to focus on that feeling and the sound of the rain. Anything to distract her from the crumbling ruins in her skull._

_“Like war?”_

_Itachi asked, and it took Atsuko back a little. She knew children could be blunt, but Itachi shouldn’t know anything about the war other than what he may have heard the older Uchiha speaking about. He would have been 3 or 4 years old when the final battles happened._

_“Yeah… like war.”_

_She answered his question with a sigh, letting her eyes droop closed as a wave of exhaustion hit her. God, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and not move…_

_“Were you sad about people dying?”_

_He asked, and Atsuko’s eyes peeled open again, turning her head to glance down at the boy. He was already staring up at her, his gaze feeling more unrelenting than comforting now. Turning away from him to look up at the tree tops, she nodded._

_“Sure. Isn’t everyone?”_

_Atsuko said, a little confused by his line of questioning. It wasn’t that simple. Sure, she was sad about the people who had died. The ones she’d known and the ones she hadn’t. But it was deeper than that. She’d witnessed the way they’d died. Had to kill other Shinobi. People who had families to go back home to. At the time, she’d rationalized it by claiming self defense. That she only killed to protect herself and others. But now, as her life unraveled, she wondered if she had more of a right to live than those other Shinobi had. It was much deeper than mourning._

_“No one wants to die… but, everyone does. What does it mean then? To live?”_

_Itachi asked, again rather bluntly. Like it was something he considered all of the time. At 6 fucking years old. Her eyes widened in response to his question, genuinely caught off guard. She turned to look at him again, only to find he was in the same position she was. Staring up at the tree tops with wide-eyed curiosity. She turned back, considering her reply. It was something she had been struggling with recently as well. What was the point of living miserably if it all ended the same way? Death. What the hell could she leave behind that would mean anything?_

_“I… I don’t know. I guess… maybe it’s different for everyone? I mean, I’ve only lived this long to make sure I keep the people I care about safe. But now there’s really no one left.”_

_She answered, knowing it was a little dark. But Itachi was the one who’d started the existential dread shit. It was also the truth. As she spoke it out loud… she realized that was exactly the problem. She’d been living her life in defense of others and never once had to be in this situation. Alone and only living for herself. So now, her life had lost its meaning._

_“So, what do you do when that happens? When the meaning is gone?”_

_Itachi asked, more like he was looking for the answer himself than to assist her. Without even realizing it, he was coaching her through the next steps, Atsuko realized. How in the hell had this kid come to wondering about the meaning of life? What had happened to make this 6 year old question life and death so deeply? Still, those questions didn’t address what he asked. What do you do when the meaning is gone? She shrugged with a sigh._

_“I’m still trying to figure that one out. But I’ll let you know when I do. Like you said earlier, no one wants to die… So I guess you just… try to find a new meaning.”_

_She replied, her brow furrowing as the words sprang forth without any thought. Find a new meaning, huh? Could it be that simple? Just like fighting on the battlefield. Pulling any trick or move to survive the fight. That was animalistic in nature. The drive to fight to stay alive. So, maybe she just needed to start pulling out tricks and special moves. What would be her new meaning?_

_“Find a new meaning…”_

_Itachi hummed under his breath, lost in thought over the suggestion. She turned her head to the side again to glance back down at him. He had the slight hint of a smile on his face, like her answer had pleased him. Or at the very least given him a slightly better outlook on the situation. In that moment, as the storm began to pass and the rain lightened to a trickle, stray cracks of sunlight began to shine down on the area surrounding them. The green weeds glistened with the reintroduction of light. And it could have just been the wind, but Atsuko swore they seemed to reach upwards for the sun. Even the plants searched for a way to stay alive. To continue to grow._

That had been the first conversation of that nature Atsuko had shared with Itachi. Over the years, they would come to have several more. Not just regarding the meaning of life, but discussing what they believed to be worth dying for. When he was a little older, she told him some things about the war and how that had changed her views on life and death. He told her a similar story. Of his father taking him to one of the war torn battlefields. How a Shinobi from another village had attempted to kill him, even though he’d done nothing to warrant it. They discussed the mindset that war placed people in. Then, they talked about the need for peace.

Atsuko found that, after that first conversation, her life began to change. She was excited for their next training sessions. Even when they weren’t partaking in those heavy conversations, she found it easier to work with him after that day under the tree. She would joke with him, just to see his shy smile or hear his occasional giggle. Teaching him new Jutsu’s, just so she could watch him perform them, feeling the pride bloom in her chest. Bringing him sweets and new books to read, just because she knew he would appreciate it. Before long, she realized that she’d found her new meaning.

Tenzo and Atsuko continued to fall in and out of conversation for the next several hours. The longer stints of silence giving her time to reminisce and think about what she was going to say to Sasuke when they returned. She still wasn’t sure about the right approach to take, so she ultimately decided on asking him what had happened and how he was feeling, then going from there. She felt sufficiently prepared for whatever he had to throw at her, wanting more than anything to be able to provide some kind of advice or support. The last thing she needed was to be caught off guard by him again, stuttering out a reply and trying to move on to avoid any awkwardness. This was going to be an important conversation. She could feel it in the pit of her stomach. Everything would be different for them from this point on… but it didn’t have to be a bad change.

As night fell, they decided to stop at a small, roadside, motel. If they’d pushed for maybe 6 more hours, they could have made it back to the Hidden Leaf. But Atsuko’s feet were killing her from the constant walking and traveling at night was always a risk. So they booked two rooms and settled in for the night. The bed was cold without anyone else there to warm it. The room barren and empty without the knowledge that another person was there with her. As Atsuko faded off to sleep, she hugged a pillow close to her chest. Dreaming of lazy mornings in bed with Kakashi and mid-day naps on the couch with Sasuke.

———————————————————————-

At dawn the following morning, they set out for the final leg of the return trip home. With each passing hour, Atsuko’s excitement grew. Returning home after a mission always filled her with joy, even if that mission only lasted a couple days. But this time was different. She could hardly wait to see Sasuke and Kakashi again after only being able to see them in a hospital room for weeks. On top of that, Jiraiya was supposed to come and join them for dinner. Her little family just kept growing and if she compared her life now to the one she’d lead several years ago… it was night and day. Going from having no one to having more than her heart could ever hope to hold. Kakashi, Sasuke, Jiraiya, Tenzo, Iruka and the kids from the Academy. Team 7. As they drew closer to the village, she babbled about what would be good to make for dinner. Wondering aloud if she should also invite Tsunade and her assistant, Shizune, as thanks for their help in healing Kakashi and Sasuke… Or would that be too improper considering Tsunade was due to take over the Hokage position?

She prattled on for the last hour of their journey, Tenzo only offering small pieces of advice and hums in reply, a warm smile on his face the entire time. When the gate came into view, Atsuko’s grin grew impossibly wide, rushing ahead of Tenzo like a child excited for their first day of school. He called out from behind her.

“Hey! Don’t tell me you plan on leaving me to file the report myself?”

He questioned, jogging a little to catch up as Atsuko laughed, shaking her head.

“No, not at all. Unless you’re offering~…”

She hummed in reply, turning to walk backwards and face him, sticking her bottom lip out in a pout, batting her lashes. Tenzo groaned, bringing his thumb and forefinger up to rub the bridge of his nose.

“Fine, fine. I’ll do it. But I want a seat at dinner as repayment.”

Tenzo replied, pointing a stern finger at her and Atsuko nodded eagerly.

“Well, duh! Tonight, 6pm sharp!”

She confirmed and turned back ahead as they crossed the threshold into the village, giggling a little under her breath. She turned to look at who was on gate duty this morning, and standing inside the little hut were Genma and Kotetsu. Aside from their help with the Chunin exams, she hadn’t really seen either of them in a while. Genma had stopped with the letters after it had became apparent she was sticking with Kakashi. Kotetsu had been a fling at one point as well, but he never really went out of his way to keep in contact with her after like Genma had. Still, she considered both men friends and she gave them a wave as she walked past.

“Morning boys!”

She called, chirper and intent on heading straight for home, then the store to buy what she needed for dinner. Little goosebumps raising on her skin from the sheer positive energy that swirled around her. However, before she could get much farther, Genma called out from behind her.

“Atsuko… Hey!”

She spun on her heel to look back at him, tilting her head to the side with a smile, figuring he just wanted to welcome her back. Or throw a teasing flirtatious comment her way. Then, she noticed the brown haired Shinobi was chewing on the senbon in his mouth in an almost nervous fashion. Moving it around in quick circles and passing it back and forth across his lips. His sharp eyebrows were drawn down into a worried expression and her stomach sank a little, the smile on her face faltering.

“Hey, man. Remember what Kakashi said…”

Kotetsu muttered to Genma, his normally confident face was also contorted into one of concern. All of the optimistic energy was sapped from her body in an instant and she carefully drew closer to the watch box.

“What’s going on?”

She asked, voice low, almost unable to get the words out because she feared the reply. Something had happened while she was gone… and Kakashi had instructed them on what to tell her when she got back? Or instructed them to not say anything? She couldn’t discern what Kotetsu’s warning to Genma had meant.

“Uh… we were told to let you know that you needed to head to the hospital as soon as you got back.”

Kotetsu was the one to give her this information, voice professional but laced with worry. Her eyes darted between him and Genma, noticing the brown haired man looked more angry than worried at this point as he chewed aggressively on the senbon in his mouth and avoided her eyes. The panic rose in her quickly, but she tampered it down.

“Can you tell me what happened?”

She questioned, wanting a little more information about what she was walking into.

“No, we-“

Kotetsu started to reply but Genma interrupted him immediately.

“This is bullshit. It’s fucked up that they didn’t send for her in the first place.”

“Genma, shut up.”

“No! Listen, they wanted us to just tell you to go to the hospital when you got back. Kakashi didn’t want us to tell you why, but that’s fucking ridiculous… Sasuke’s missing.”

Genma ended his short rant, meeting her gaze finally and she could see the genuine anger that burned in his eyes. The words took a second to a register and when they did, she shook her head in disbelief, reeling back a little on her heel. Her first thought was that what he’d said was ridiculous. Sasuke, missing? No way.

“What? Missing? Idiots. I’m sure he’s just out training or holed up somewhere on the Uchiha property. I know some of his hiding spots. I’ll go find him.”

She replied, already turning on her heel to head off in the direction of his old home. She noticed Tenzo had caught up with her and was moving as well to follow her, but before she could leave Genma called out from behind her again.

“No, Atsuko. Sasuke’s missing as in… he left the village. They want you to go to the hospital because Naruto and some of the other Genin went after him and… it didn’t go well.”

Atsuko went completely rigid as his words registered, her back still turned to him. For a brief moment, it felt like time was standing completely still. The only sound she could hear was her heartbeat in her ears. Sasuke… had left the village. Then, in the blink of an eye, she was gone. Running as fast as she could in the direction of the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus begins the ending of canon OG Naruto! I pray I did young Itachi's character justice in the flashback and that everyone enjoyed the chapter. I've got a couple more to go before we time jump to Shippuden and uh... it all goes downhill from here. Which brings me to an announcement. I will be taking a few weeks off for the holidays! I expect to post my next update on January 8th (the day after my birthday!) With that being said, I want to wish everyone a Happy Holidays and New Years! See everyone in 2021!


	21. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs that Inspired this Chapter:
> 
> My Blood - Twenty One Pilots
> 
> Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
> 
> Always Forever - Cults
> 
> Where is My Mind? - The Pixies

“What the hell do you mean he’s _gone?_ ”

Atsuko yelled, eyes wide and teeth snapping together. She didn’t care that her voice was only amplified in the empty hospital hallway. That the people in the waiting room were likely hearing her outburst. All that mattered now were the people standing in front of her, returning her ire with expressions of varying concern. She found that the pity in their eyes only made the fire inside her grow.

Tsunade and Kakashi had stopped her in the hall to explain the situation, but all they’d managed to say so far was that Sasuke was gone. When she asked her question, Kakashi and Tsunade had exchanged concerned looks, like they were trying to determine how much to tell her. The very idea that they would keep any information from her in a time a like this had her fuming.

“Someone needs to start explaining, right the fuck now! Genma said he left the village. When did he leave?”

She asked, hissing out the question. The hallway filled with another lull of silence and Atsuko knew she was not going to like the answer to her question. She turned her irate expression to her fiancé.

“When did he leave, Kakashi?”

  
  
“The night after you left on your mission. Two days ago.”

He answered quickly, talking over her like he had been trying to hold the words back but had failed to keep them locked away.

“And neither of you thought to send for me? To let me know?”

Atsuko demanded, eyes snapping towards Tsunade. The woman was standing just behind Kakashi, the pain on her face evident. It wasn’t pity, Atsuko realized, but rather sympathy. Like she understood what Atsuko was going through. Tsunade’s eyes widened a little when she became the target of the glare, but before she could speak, Kakashi’s voice cut through the air like a knife.

“I was the one who decided it was best to not alert you.”

He stated, and Atsuko’s eyes landed on him in an instant. Before she could even form a coherent thought, the anger inside her reached a boiling point. Ever since Kakashi had been put in charge of Team 7 he’d been calling all of the shots on how to handle Sasuke. Keeping Atsuko in the dark about the Curse Mark and their training leading up to the Chunin Exams. He didn’t see her as an equal when it came to training Sasuke. She wondered, briefly, if he ever saw her as an equal in any capacity. The silence that fell in the hallway was deafening. She could feel Tenzo standing behind her, likely wearing that nervous expression of his, not wanting to get in the middle of this. Over Kakashi’s shoulder, Tsunade had reverted to a more calm face, but Atsuko could see the way her hands fidgeted where she had them clasped together in front of her.

Then there was Kakashi. Standing directly in front of her with that damned passive expression of his. Unreadable, even after she’d spent five years with him. With only one of his eyes visible, he fixed her with that confident stare. Trying to remove all emotion from the situation and silently standing by his decision. Just looking at him in this moment made her physically ill. He was supposed to watch Sasuke while she was gone. He KNEW how vulnerable the boy was after his run-in with Itachi. He knew how delicate the situation was. She’d left her whole world in his hands for three days and he’d let it slip through his fingers… A stray tear rolled down her cheek at that realization, and something inside of her snapped as her heart plummeting straight down to her stomach. She tore her eyes away from Kakashi and dropped her head to look down at the floor for a moment. To gather herself and plan next steps.

Kakashi’s hand dropped against her shoulder and, immediately, Atsuko recoiled. She shrugged his hand off and her nose scrunched up in disgust as she turned her face back up to look at him. That seemed to draw a reaction, his visible eye widening.

“Keep your fucking hands off of me, Kakashi.”

She hissed out, letting the worlds and their implications sit heavy in the air. She hoped he could feel the fire burning inside of her through the glare she fixed him with. If Sasuke didn’t come back… she’d never forgive him. Unable to look at his shocked expression for even a second longer, she turned her gaze to Tsunade, the glare on her face softening.

“Lady Tsunade, would you please fill me in on what happened?”

Atsuko asked, completely disregarding Kakashi now. He clearly had no interest in being upfront with her. He never had. Tsunade on the other hand seemed regretful. Sympathetic to her situation. She gave a curt nod and motioned for Atsuko to follow her down the hall. As she moved past Kakashi to follow, she avoided being near him at all. She heard Tenzo’s footsteps pick up behind her and she threw a finger up over her shoulder.

“No. Go write up the mission report, Tenzo.”

She instructed, not even sparing the other man a glance as she moved to duck into the same empty room Tsunade had entered into, sliding the door shut with finality behind her.

The empty hospital room was set up exactly like the one she’d spent the last 2 weeks in. There were two pristinely made hospital beds, the crisp white sheets crinkling loudly as Lady Tsunade moved to lean against one. Even though the overhead lights were turned off, the sunlight pouring in the massive windows filled the room with light. Atsuko scanned the room quickly before her eyes landed back on the woman before her. The Fifth Hokage.

“You’re Sasuke’s guardian, correct?”

  
  
Tsunade asked and Atsuko nodded in response, her hands burying into her pants pockets so she didn’t pick them raw during this conversation.

“Yes, ma’am… After the Uchiha Massacre five years ago, he was placed in my care. He’s like… no, not like. He is my son.”

She answered, finding her footing at the end of the sentence and growing with confidence in that statement. He was her son and she had every right to know what was going on here. Despite what Kakashi may have told her.

“And Kakashi Hatake… he’s your husband?”

She asked, a little more carefully than the first. Atsuko sighed gently, moving instead to cross her arms across her chest.

“Yes. Well, we haven’t signed the paperwork yet… but yes. I am unsure of what he told you regarding why he thought it was best not to send for me as soon as Sasuke went missing… it was likely something regarding my temperament or my attachment to him but I assure you I can handle the information. He seems to forget that I am a Jonin rank Shinobi as well.”

Atsuko advised, huffing just a little at the end of her sentence. She was going to make sure he never forgot that fact again. Just because she was vulnerable around him and had shown him the softer side of her personality didn’t mean she wasn’t capable of separating emotion from logic. She hadn’t gotten this far on good looks and luck. Tsunade gave a confident nod in response.

“I believe you can as well. He was just rather adamant that you would be deeply affected by the news, so I took his word. I apologize for the additional stress.”

Tsunade replied, her arms crossing under her heavy chest as she met Atsuko’s eyes. It took her aback, the apology and the understanding in the woman’s tone. Maybe it was a feminine understanding. Being underestimated by male peers was something she could relate to. Or, maybe she’d been in a similar situation before. Either way, Atsuko welcomed the comforting energy and words, nodding gratefully.

“Now, allow me to fill you in on what all has occurred…”

———————————————————————————

Tsunade had gone over the entirety of the situation. Sasuke had left to seek out Orochimaru in an attempt to gain power and better learn how to control his Curse Mark. Then, Tsunade had sent a team of Genin after him. The team consisted of Naruto, Kiba, Neji, Choji, and had been led by Shikamaru. It hadn’t gone well for any of them. Choji, Naruto, Kiba, and Neji were all in the hospital for varying degrees of injuries, but Atsuko was assured they would all make a full recovery. That news had caused her shoulders to sag in relief, her head dropping forward with a shuddering sigh. As Tsunade continued, she advised that the only member of the group to actually confront Sasuke was Naruto. When Naruto did finally reach Sasuke, they’d fought one another.

There were no witnesses to this, but just based on Naruto’s injuries, it had been quite the battle. On top of that, before Sasuke had left the village, the morning after Atsuko had left for her mission, he and Naruto had almost killed one another on the roof of the hospital. Kakashi stepped in at the last minute to prevent them from hitting each other with their most powerful moves, the Chidori and Rasengan. Then, that night, Sasuke had left the village. The only way anyone had found out about it was through Sakura. Who had apparently tried to stop Sasuke, only for him to knock her unconscious and leave anyway.

Atsuko tried to listen to all of the information objectively. She knew she had to remain cool in order to be approved for the mission she was going to request from Tsunade. Her body managed to stay intact. Her face set in a passive expression while she nodded, eyebrows drawn in as she carefully considered the facts. Inside, however, she was panicking. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her mouth had gone completely dry. She knew that Sasuke’s fight with Itachi had brought this on. That, combined with the Chunin Exams and the Curse Mark. So many things she hadn’t been privy to had been swelling inside of Sasuke for some time now. For him to seek out Orochimaru of all people to help him gain power… God, what was he thinking? What must he have been feeling to make such a drastic decision?

She’d failed him. She knew this. Every time she allowed and supported his quest for vengeance she’d been pushing him closer to this. Every time she didn’t push to talk about his feelings and every time she hadn’t addressed the elephant in the room. He’d bottled up so much and she’d had no idea he would do something this extreme to reach his goal. Because she’d failed him, she had to be the one to bring him back. He had to come back.

When Tsunade finished the last of her story, Atsuko turned her eyes up to look at the older woman.

“Lady Tsunade, I would like to request that I be sent in pursuit of Sasuke, starting immediately.”

Atsuko asked, straightening her back a little and standing at attention. Tsunade immediately shook her head, her blonde hair fluttering as she moved from the seated position she’d taken on the edge of the hospital bed.

“No. Absolutely not. I’m sorry, but you are his mother. Or at least his mother figure. Your emotions would get in the way.”

Tsunade replied, voice stern and word final. Still, Atsuko defended her position.

“Lady Fifth, I understand you believe my emotions may get in the way of this mission. However, respectfully, I believe you’ve allowed Kakashi to paint a picture of me that is not indicative at all of my performance in the field. And, as Sasuke’s guardian, I understand him better than anyone else. If I were to find him I believe I could convince him to return without further incident. You’ve only been in this position a short while, but you can ask anyone in the village. Sasuke went everywhere with me for five years. Attached at the hip. He listens to and respects me.”

She finished, arms at her sides, unmoving in her stance. Was this request emotionally motivated? Yes. Just standing in this room and doing nothing while Sasuke was out there with Orochimaru was driving her near insanity. However, did she also believe that she had the best shot at returning Sasuke to the Hidden Leaf? Yes. She wouldn’t dare speak out against Tsunade in her current position, but sending a group of Genin to retrieve Sasuke was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. If Orochimaru was involved in any capacity, she should have sent a group of elite Jonin at the very least. Backed up by Anbu. Though, she realized that Sasuke didn’t have anyone here to defend his worth to a new Hokage. Honestly, the more she considered it, the more Atsuko began to feel insulted by Tsunade’s decision to send a group of children after her son.

“Please, Lady Tsunade. I owe you my life for waking him up. If you allow me to seek him out, I’m not sure what else I can offer other than my unwavering loyalty. And, if I do find Sasuke and he has already been taken in by Orochimaru, I will send word of my position for back up before moving in on my own.”

Atsuko bargained a little more, clasping her hands in front of her in desperation. Tsunade shook her head again, letting out a disbelieving scoff.

“Now you’re also requesting to take on this mission alone?”

She replied, astounded at the request. The fire slowly building inside Atsuko’s stomach roared to a massive flame, burning her from the inside out. She couldn’t stop her next words if she’d tried.

“I figured the village wouldn’t be able to spare many Shinobi for a recon mission. Considering you sent a group of children in pursuit of my son.”

Atsuko snapped, jaw clenching tightly as she fixed Tsunade with a glare. There were a few moments of tense silence between the two women, but Atsuko refused to back down.

“Understand this. Even if I am not given permission to search for Sasuke, I will. That is the emotion speaking, yes. But trust that I am completely capable of making rational decisions regarding him. As I stated, I would not make any movements on my own. Just allow me to locate him.”

She added, bowing her head a little as the fire tampered back down.

“Please, Lady Tsunade. I know I can bring him back.”

Atsuko finished, staring at the tiled floor as silence filled the room once more. It seemed to be a running theme, she realized. Threatening to disobey direct orders from the Hokage when Itachi and Sasuke were involved. It didn’t matter what Tsunade said at this point, and she knew that. Atsuko would leave in pursuit of Sasuke either way. She could either do so as an agent of the Hidden Leaf, or a rogue Shinobi. She heard the older woman let out a gentle sigh above her.

“Fine. But you are not to move on his position until you’ve sent notice to the Hidden Leaf and we have provided you with back up. You will also be required to send progress updates.”

Tsunade huffed out, and Atsuko raised her head immediately. She nodded in agreement with the stipulations, eyes shining with determination.

“Yes, ma’am. Of course. Thank you, Lady Tsunade.”

She replied in the affirmative, bowing once more in thanks. Before she turned to leave the hospital room the woman spoke up from behind her once more.

“Another thing, Atsuko. You stated you owe me your life. Fine then. When you return with Sasuke, I would like you to join Shikaku Nara in being one of my advisors.”

Tsunade stated, causing Atsuko’s hand to drop away from the door. She turned around, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion. They’d had one official conversation and it had ended with Atsuko threatening to go rogue.

“Ma’am? I’m not sure I understand your reasoning?”

She questioned, her head tilted slightly to the side. Tsunade’s lips pulled into a small, all-knowing, smile and her eyes softened. The expression was damn near motherly, Atsuko noticed.

“Your love for Sasuke. It’s written all over you. As is your care and concern for the group of Genin we discussed. I can see how invested you are in the youth of this village. I also think it would do some good to have a feminine opinion in the upper ranks…”

Tsunade’s answer took Atsuko aback a little. She’d gathered a lot from just a couple of conversations. Even with Kakashi directly undermining her and probably telling Tsunade of her emotional issues… she still decided Atsuko was worthy of a position standing next to Shikaku Nara. A position that would see her serving directly under the Fifth Hokage. If she wasn’t so worried about Sasuke, she would actually be brimming with excitement. However, all she could manage was a bow.

“Thank you, Lady Tsunade. When I return with Sasuke, I would be happy to assist.”

Atsuko replied before finally turning to take her leave. She slid the hospital door open with ease, mind completely silent as her body moved out of sheer necessity. She made a mental check list. Home, pack, stop by the flower shop to have flowers sent to the Genin squad, then leave. Shouldn’t take more than an hour. She’d start at the Valley of the End, where Naruto and Sasuke had their fight according to Tsunade. To better enlist Kasumi’s help, though, she’d have to travel at night…

As she ran through her game plan she walked down the hospital hallway towards the exit without paying much attention to her surroundings. Right as she approached the door, she realized someone was following her. Saying her name?

“Atsuko, slow down.”

Kakashi called from behind her and she let out a sigh, shaking her head. She didn’t have time for his apologies or questions. She continued to walk forward, waving a dismissive hand over her shoulder as she pushed through the exit door.

“I don’t have time for this, Kakashi. I have to pack.”

She responded, but he’d already caught up with her, evident by the absence of the sound of the door shutting swiftly behind her.

“Pack? Are you going after him?”

He questioned, confusion and disbelief in his tone.

“Of course I am. No thanks to you. I’m not sure what you told Tsunade while I was gone but she almost didn’t assign me the mission because she was worried I would be ‘overly emotional’.”

Atsuko snapped back, still keeping a brisk pace towards their shared home, moving past the yard surrounding the hospital and stepping out onto the street. She could hear Kakashi moving quickly behind her, the sound of his sandals snapping against the ground quickly.

“Not sure where she would have gotten that idea. It’s not like you bit my head off right in front of her or anything. Besides that, she’s right. You’re too emotionally invested in this mission.”

Kakashi replied, and this stopped Atsuko dead in her tracks. She halted so quickly she felt Kakashi nearly crash into her back. Spinning on her heel to face him, she fixed him with a wild glare.

“I am so fucking sick and tired of you underestimating me, Kakashi. You see me as some weak woman in need of protection. You lie to me. Hide things from me. I leave for three days and ask you to watch over him. That’s all I asked. And what happens? He’s gone. Hell yes, I am emotionally invested in this mission. Sasuke is missing! But if you think for one minute that I am going to allow my feelings about that override the goal of bringing him home, you’re wrong.”

Atsuko hissed, ending her sentence by jabbing a pointed finger to his chest. She stared up at him, eyebrows drawn down in determination and lips pressed into a thin line. Kakashi just returned her stare with one of his own. No discernible expression on his partially covered face. She scoffed, turning on her heel to continue walking.

“Now, I really do not have time for this. Kindly, fuck off. Because I cannot stand to look at you right now.”

She finished, no longer feeling his presence at her back as she set off down the street. She knew she would probably regret the words later, but in the moment she was too angry to care.

—————————————————-

It had been over a month since the day she’d left the village. Those were the last words she’d said to Kakashi, avoiding him and everyone else as she’d headed out on her mission to track down Sasuke. As the days spent away from home stacked up and her goal seemed to get further and further away, she found herself thinking back on those last words more than she cared to admit. Her anger at Kakashi hadn’t died down any, but she did regret that she may not ever be able to make amends with him.

Upon leaving the village and arriving at the Valley of the End, she’d summoned Kasumi, a black panther she’d made a pact with back in her youth. The big cat was a little temperamental and using her to track Sasuke meant they would have to travel mostly at night, but the last thing Atsuko wanted to do was swallow her pride and request that Kakashi summon a couple nin-ken to help her track down Sasuke.

_“Atsuko, dear… it’s been a while~…”_

_Kasumi purred, somehow appearing in an overhead tree despite Atsuko placing the summoning seal on the ground. She turned her head up to where the black cat rested, large and imposing as she lounged in the branches, a teasing smile on her muzzle. Her golden eyes shined down on Atsuko as the moonlight caught them, mesmerizing as ever._

_“Hmmm… it has. I need your assistance.”_

_  
  
Atsuko stated, cutting straight to the point as she ducked down to roll up the summoning scroll. When she looked back up, the massive cat was sitting directly in front of her, Kasumi’s long black tail flicking back and forth behind her. She tilted her head to the side, narrowing her yellow eyes._

_“As always. Only calling when you need help.”_

_Kasumi sighed out, the hint of a growl rumbling in her chest. She turned her head up and away from Atsuko, dramatic as ever._

_“You know, I have better things to do than laze around and wait for your call… I’d almost thought you’d forgotten about me.”_

_Kasumi added, finally turning her face back towards where Atsuko was standing. It was strange, watching this panther, an apex predator, pout like a child. Atsuko rolled her eyes a little, opting to not play into Kasumi’s pity party and ploy for attention._

_“It’s about Sasuke. He’s missing.”_

_Atsuko stated, and that seemed to get Kasumi’s attention. Her shoulders flexed and straightened, eyes widening in genuine concern as she dropped the kicked puppy act. Atsuko had introduced Kasumi to Team 7 several months ago on a mission where she’d been able to tag along. Naruto and Sakura had been uneasy around the big cat, but Kasumi had taken an immediate liking to Sasuke. Peering at him curiously before stalking towards him and promptly sitting down beside him. She’d even allowed him to stroke her black fur, butting into his hand for more attention as Atsuko had given her the details of the mission._

_“Sasuke… I always liked that boy. You need my assistance in tracking him, I assume?”_

_Kasumi questioned, and Atsuko nodded._

_“Yes… This is the last place he was seen… I brought some of his clothes.”_

_She replied, pulling her backpack off and placing it on the ground. She rummaged around for a moment before producing one of Sasuke’s blue shirts, the Uchiha clan symbol stitched on the back. She held the fabric for a moment, feeling the material and staring down at the crest as the weight of the day started to settle in. Her eyelids grew heavy, drained of emotion and energy, she let out a soft sigh. Focus. She held out the shirt and Kasumi’s eyes monitored her face for a moment before she ducked her head to get the scent from the clothing. She picked her head back up, inhaling deeply before pointing her nose directly behind where she sat._

_“That way…”_

Atsuko had followed Kasumi through the entire night, until it was clear she wasn’t in the position to continue forward. The exhaustion had caught up with her and she needed to rest. Kasumi had taken up position the high branches of a large tree, stretching out and sleeping easily. Atsuko, however, had tossed and turned for hours, afraid that this break to rest would only put more distance between her and Sasuke. With the singular goal in mind of finding him, she managed to keep her panicking at a minimum. Pigeon-holing her focus on bringing Sasuke home and scolding him for leaving in the first place. She tried her hardest to push any dark thoughts to the back of her mind, out of sight and muted.

Every now and then, however, she would find herself wandering through those dark crevices in her head. Staring absent-mindedly at Kasumi’s slinking back as the large panther guided her through the night. Atsuko would be forced to remember what Orochimaru was capable of. His experiments on Tenzo and all of those other children… His carefully planned attack on the Hidden Leaf Village. She knew he was hurt, recalling the story Jiraiya had told her about their run-in with the other Sanin. Orcohimaru’s arms were useless… but even in that state, Jiraiya, Naruto, and Tsunade had almost been bested by him. She would find her heart rate picking up and her head spinning at the thought of what he could be doing to Sasuke at this very moment. Luring the young boy in with the promise of power only to subject him to cruel tests. He was a rare commodity, after all. The owner of one of the last Sharingan in existence. Her brain flooded her with images of Sasuke having his eyes removed… his body strapped to some filthy gurney, screaming in agony.

These images plagued her daily and, usually, she was able to dismiss them. Forcing them out of her mind by bathing herself in delusion. She pictured herself finding Sasuke in the woods, unharmed and a little scared but no worse for wear. He would run to her and she’d wrap her arms around his thin frame before lifting him off the ground and carrying him home. They’d have all the time in the world to talk and she would reaffirm her love for him. Tell him everything was going to be okay and they would track down Itachi, together. Let him know that she would never try to hold him back again and she was going to do everything she could to make sure he was strong enough to get his revenge. No more fence sitting or wishy-washy words of comfort. She would make sure he never felt the need to leave again.

For several weeks, this was the routine. Atsuko trapped in her head, flooded with gruesome images and swatting them away with fabricated, false, positive affirmations. Traveling and tracking Sasuke’s scent at night, then resting during the day. In all honestly, keeping these hours didn’t do Atsuko’s mood or health any favors. As the days turned to weeks and the weeks to a month, her anxiety was worsening and she was finding it increasingly difficult to combat the dark thoughts. In addition to that, Atsuko hadn’t brought near enough rations for a journey of this length and the last thing she wanted to do was waste time detouring to a village to restock. She could push through a couple more days with little to no food, because it was only going to take another day or two to find Sasuke. Kasumi seemed to have given up on the investigation all together, clearly affected by the lack of leads and Atsuko’s declining health.

_“Dear, now might be the time to reevaluate the situation…”_

_Kasumi sighed from her position in front of Atsuko. She was stalking ahead like normal, both of them following her nose down a dirt path through the middle of the forrest. The moon was full, Atsuko noticed, shining brightly in the dark sky. At Kasumi’s words, Atsuko forced herself to focus, playing them over in her head to decipher their meaning. They didn’t talk often. Kasumi preferring the quiet and Atsuko struggled to string together a coherent sentence in her current state. After a month with little to no social interaction, she had a hard time processing the words. So, her mouth moved without the assistance of her brain._

_“Reevaluate… okay. Maybe we can start trying to track him through other means… Chakra maybe? Or we can switch to tracking one of Orochimaru’s henchmen? Or Orochimaru himself. You think if I got something with his scent you could follow that easier?”_

_Atsuko mumbled out, voice hoarse and head cocked to the side as she stared at the moonlight reflecting off of Kasumi’s black coat. Suddenly, the large cat stopped walking all together, turning around to face Atsuko and sitting down._

_“Atsuko… I’ve been tracking Sasuke’s scent for a month straight and it hasn’t gotten any closer. The past couple of days have just been spent walking in circles. I’ve reached the end of my rope, dear.”_

_Kasumi stated, exasperation and irritation clear in her tone. Again, it took Atsuko a moment to process the words. She slowly brought her eyes up to lock with the golden ones that were peering at her…. walking in circles? Sasuke’s scent hadn’t gotten any closer at all? She shook her head, starting a little unsure and then gaining confidence._

_“No… No, we have to be getting closer. There’s no way we’ve been walking through the Land of Fire for a month and haven’t gotten even just the tiniest bit-!”_

_Atsuko started, voice rising in volume as her emotions began to take over. Kasumi cut her off._

_“We haven’t, Atsuko! You know we haven’t!”_

_The panther shouted back, growling and angry but managing to keep that uppity air in her tone anyway. Atsuko’s mouth snapped shut and her eyes narrowed, she shrugged, moving to walk past the big cat._

_“Fine. If you can’t help me find him, I’ll just keep looking on my own. You’re free to go.”_

_Atsuko stated, shoulders tensing as she felt Kasumi approach her from behind. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she stopped walking for a moment, readying herself in case Kasumi had taken offense and lunged at her. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Instead, however, the cat spoke up again._

_“Dear… you cannot continue forward. You need to rest and replenish. If you continue this way you’ll be dead in a week. You won’t be any good to Sasuke then.”_

_Kasumi sighed, sounding genuinely concerned for Atsuko’s wellbeing. It threw the woman off, the almost caring words coming from the panther. In her youth, Kasumi had been difficult to work with at best. All attitude and bared fangs, clearly regretful of the contract she’d signed. Atsuko would meet her energy and she had even lunged at her a couple times, snapping her powerful jaws. But now… she sounded like she cared about Atsuko. Her health. About Sasuke._

_“You’re getting soft, Kasumi. As I said, you’re free to go.”_

_Atsuko replied, pushing down any feelings she had about the situation in favor of remaining obstinate in her goal. With that, she forcibly broke the summons, forming the hand sign to release the jutsu and hearing Kasumi disappear in a puff behind her._

With Kasumi gone, Atsuko truly was left with no other way to track Sasuke. She’d regretted the rash decision a couple hours later when she’d passed by the same tree for the second time that night. With that, she’d decided to get a fresh start in the morning. Surely she’d be able to sense some lingering trace of Sasuke’s Chakra signature on his clothes… or maybe she really would have to venture into a near by village to pick up leads that way. Early the next morning, she set out. Climbing high up in a tree to see if she could determine her location. On the way up, however, the lack of nutrients and water caused her to become light headed. When she neared the top of the massive tree, she had fainted and fallen back to the unforgiving ground.

When she woke up, groggy and confused, she’d felt a stabbing pain in her leg. So strong, in fact, it almost caused her to pass out again. Looking down, she noticed her left leg was busted. Bone sticking through skin and blood soaking the earth beneath her. Her brain was still hazy from the fall and her head ached from what she believed was a concussion, but as soon as her eyes landed on the mangled limb, it was like being tossed into a cold shower to sober up. Her entire body went cold and her eyes widened, choking down a scream as the pain fully registered and it rocked through her body like an electric shock. After several minutes of just staring at the gruesome scene, she realized she needed to move out from the middle of the forrest.

Using the last bit of her strength, Atsuko had managed to crawl to a near by cave, dragging her battered leg behind her and fainting multiple times in the process from the pain. But she’d made it. As night fell, she realized she couldn’t leave the wound the way it was… she would have to set the bone herself and wrap it up in hopes that would stop the bleeding and begin the healing process.

That’s how she’d gotten to the position she was currently in. Her back resting against the rock wall of the cave with her leg wrapped in a makeshift splint consisting of some tree branches and the tatters of her ruined pants. Atsuko figured it had been about two days since the fall, but time was like water slipping through her fingers as she faded in and out of consciousness for undetermined lengths of time. The water in her canteen was long gone and she’d eaten her last food pill the first night she’d spent in the cave. Pain and dehydration had sent her into a state of delirium and as time drew on, Atsuko was fairly certain she was going to die in this cave.

She’d been updating Tsunade via hawk once a week. But the bird had yet to return and Atsuko was sure that by the time it did come with fresh paper and ink, it would be too late. Especially if she had to wait for the bird to get back to the Hidden Leaf and for them mobilize a team to come get her. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure where she was currently. She’d been following Kasumi somewhat blindly over the last couple weeks and her one attempt to reorient had left her broken and unable to move. So, all she could do in the waking hours was build a small fire near the mouth of the cave in hopes someone would see the smoke… Even criminals or bandits… At this point she would take any help she could get.

She found her mind wandering in an attempt to stay awake. She brought forth memories and ideas, anything she could focus on other than the pain or dire situation she was in. She thought back on her last words to Kakashi and how she’d give anything to just be able to apologize to him before she died. She thought about Sasuke, knowing that with her gone, he would lose his last bit of hope of being returned to the village. No one else seemed to truly care about him and she couldn’t imagine anyone even attempting to track him down. He would be labeled rogue and shoved into the back of everyones mind… Everyone except maybe Naruto. Before the sleep took over again, a few stray tears escaped her eyes, the last of the moisture leaving her body. She said a silent prayer that Naruto would find Sasuke before it was too late. A prayer that Sasuke was alive and well… just that would be enough. Then, she was being pulled under again.

_Atsuko was swaying in the kitchen, the broom in her hand a makeshift microphone as she pulled it close to her mouth, singing along to the pop song that poured from the radio. It was spring cleaning day at the house. Yesterday had been spent tending to the garden in the backyard, trimming the bushes and pulling weeds from the flower beds surrounding the perimeter. Sasuke had complained the entire time. He would rather be out training instead of digging around in the dirt and planting stupid flowers. So, she’d told him she could always call up a couple of his classmates to help. They’d be more than happy to, after all. He’d shut up after that, his pride hating the idea of her spending the entire day with Naruto or Shikamaru instead of himself._

_Today, however, she hadn’t bothered with waking Sasuke up early to help clean the house. It didn’t matter when he got this part of the chores done and he’d actually been a great help the day before, so she was letting him sleep in a little. But as the sun poured in through the opened windows and she swept the winter away with her broom, she found the positive energy was a little too much to ignore. Her body moved with the music as she twirled around the kitchen, her singing voice carrying through the entire house as the idea of letting Sasuke sleep in slipped her mind._

_Her back was turned to the hallway, hips and shoulders rolling to the music. The grin that spread across her face was genuine, not directed at anyone because she believed she was alone. When the first chorus, she belted out the words, dropping her head back for dramatic effect as she performed for an imaginary audience. As she ended the note, a tiny voice broke through the loud music. She spun on her heel with a bright smile,_

_“Atsuko-sensei?”_

_Sasuke questioned from his position in the doorway of the hallway, his tiny fists coming up to rub the sleep from his eyes. He was still in his pajamas, the bottom of his pants swallowing his feet and the sleeves of his shirt bunched up around his wrists. His silky dark hair was a mess of fly-aways and tangles and his bleary eyes grew wider as she approached him, the broom forgotten to rest against the counter._

_“Mornin’ badass!”_

_Atsuko greeted, drawing ever closer, her upper body still moving to the music. Sasuke seemed to realize his situation, his eyes going wide as he tried to take a step back down the hallway, his hand coming up to defend himself, waving erratically as he tried to talk her down from the ledge._

_“No, c’mon Atsuko-sensei! Ah-!”_

_She reached out quickly, grasping his small hands in her own as she pulled him towards the open space of the living room. He tried to dig his heels into the hardwood, shaking his head wildly but starting to giggle anyway as she pulled him with ease._

_“Don’t you try to run from me! You are going to dance!”_

_Atsuko teased, the music from the radio swelling again as the chorus of the pop song came through again. Sasuke dropped his head back with a groan, but the smile on his face was undeniable and Atsuko started to laugh, using her grip on his hands to move him in time with her dance moves. He seemed let his shoulders and arms go lax, allowing her to move him freely as they both devolved into a mess of giggles at her ridiculous puppeteering._

_“Oh, this is the best part!”_

_She shouted over the music, bowing her head and using Sasuke’s noodle like arms like drum sticks, beating out the drum solo in the air, her heat thudding out the same beat as the boy’s childish laughter filled the room. God, that sound was rare. He used to laugh like that all of the time when he was younger. Letting out those giggles freely as he ran laps around a large tree, just ecstatic to be alive. Now, he chuckled occasionally or snorted through his nose, but he never laughed like this. Completely uninhibited and grinning from ear to ear as she continued to tug his arms, forcing him to twist his body in time with the music._

_When the song faded out and the radio announcer came back on, his voice ringing out enthusiastically about the artist of song, Atsuko released her grip on Sasuke’s hands. Little giggles still bubbling up from both of their chests as she reached out to grab the back of his head, pulling him into a half hug before separating and dropping a kiss to the crown of his head. She pulled back to look at his face again, a bright blush on his cheeks as his smile became a little more manageable._

_“Ya hungry?”_

Atsuko woke from the dream with a dry, croaking, gasp. It had been several years since that morning in her kitchen and it was still one of the brightest memories she had of Sasuke. She held it near to her heart, replaying it over and over again to remind her why she was doing any of this. It was something she thought about during the darker times, or when life got a little too overwhelming. When all she wanted to do was lay in the bed and allow the depression to swallow her whole. She thought about that warm spring morning, the sound of Sasuke’s bright laugh and the grin on his face. That image alone reminded her why she did the things she did. Why she worked hard and continued forward even when it was easier to give up.

As she rested her back against the jagged rock wall of the cave she had been confined to for several days, she smiled weakly at the memory. She looked to the mouth of the cave, noticing her small fire from the day before had been reduced to nothing but slightly smoking ash and that the sun was rising in the distance, the sky a bright shade of pink as dawn broke. She was still delirious from the pain in her leg and mild dehydration, but if she could hold onto that image… maybe she could find the strength to move. To get up and walk on her busted leg to find a fresh source of water. Or an outpost village for medical attention. Maybe she could… but before she could finish that thought, she was pulled back into unconsciousness, her head dropping back against the rock and lolling to the side.

_“Hey! Kiba, Naruto, quit tracking dirt in the house! If you want to come in and out, take your shoes off at the door.”_

_Atsuko scolded as the two boys rushed past her through the open screen door towards the backyard. The whirlwind from their running almost knocked her off balance and sending the tray of drinks she was holding careening to the floor. She managed to remain upright and keep the beverages in tact, glaring at the back of Naruto’s head._

_“Sorry, Sasuke’s mom!”_

_He shouted over his shoulder before chasing Kiba back to the group of Genin that had huddled in the corner of the yard, all giggling and talking loudly as the two rejoined the group. She let out a sigh, stressed but heart full as she looked around her lively backyard._

_To celebrate everyone’s graduation from the Academy (and to give their sensei’s some much needed R &R) Atsuko had decided to throw a little get together at her house after Team 7’s mission in the Land of Waves. Inviting over Asuma, Kurenai, Gai, and all of their respective teams. As well as Iruka and Tenzo. Everyone had been able to make it, save for Gai’s team. They didn’t have as much of a connection to the kids in Iruka and Atsuko’s class, so they’d opted to spend the evening training instead._

_The backyard was decorated to the nines. Paper lanterns strung above the yard and a massive table full of snacks and drinks. She’d also managed to set up a few small picnic tables and chairs, along with a few blankets for the kids to sit on. Things were going well and the sun was starting to set, leaving behind only a sky full of stars on the warm, summer, evening. Atsuko smiled as she moved to set the newly mixed drinks down on the table. The adults were all standing in a massive circle, nursing their drinks and chatting. All of them had probably had a little more to drink at this point than they’d care to admit, but Atsuko could tell from all of the flushed cheeks and easy smiles that everyone was feeling relaxed and mildly inebriated. She picked up a glass from the table for herself before calling to the group._

_“Alcohol restock!”_

_And watching as everyone moved to the table post haste to claim their next drink. She giggled a little as Gai snatched his cup and took a long sip from the straw she’d placed in every glass. He gave her a sloppy grin, cheeks a dark shade of pink and eyes lazy as the alcohol worked through his system. He threw his free arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side in a bruising grip._

_“Atsuko! Thank you for being gracious enough to open your home to us! This is a fantastic party and everyone is having a wonderful time! I only regret that my team could not join us…”_

_Gai shouted, massive grin falling to a frown at the end of his sentence. He dropped his head forward and shook it slightly before seeming to get his second wind, whipping back up with newfound enthusiasm._

_“Even still, I am very grateful for the time spent in the company of good friends! Speaking of, where is my eternal rival?”  
_

_He questioned, releasing his grip on Atsuko in favor of looking her in the eyes. She let out a giggle, both at his generally positive demeanor and the answer to his question._

_“He’s in the restroom. I believe he’s already had a little too much to drink. You know, if you’re ever looking to get a leg up on your contests, challenge him to a drinking competition. He’s a real light-weight.”_

_Atsuko whispered the last part, her hand coming up to cover her mouth like she was telling Gai a secret. He dropped his head back and let out a booming laugh, using his free hand to jam a thumbs up in her direction._

_“Noted!”_

_With that, they moved to join the rest of the group of Jonin. Everyone sipped their drinks and shared stories of the first missions their teams had been on. After gushing for some time about the Genin, the conversation steered more towards Atsuko and Kakashi’s recent engagement. Kurenai had brought up the topic, a little more talkative and open with a few drinks in her system. Atsuko had told them a brief summary of how he’d proposed. It wasn’t flashy, but it was the single most romantic thing to ever happen to her. The crowd didn’t seem to mind the lack of fanfare either, evident by the way Kurenai cooed sweetly and Iruka grinned ear to ear. As she finished the story, Atsuko was showing off the ring on her finger, twisting it around a little to show everyone the diamond._

_“That’s wonderful! You know, we never thought Kakashi would settle down.”_

_Kurenai exclaimed, her final statement sounding a little disbelieving and blown away. Asuma hummed in agreement from his position beside the red-eyed woman._

_“Not in a million years.”_

_He agreed, setting his empty glass down on a nearby table in favor of pulling a cigarette from the pack in his vest pocket. He lit it and took the first drag quickly, letting out a puff of smoke with his next sentence._

_“He sure seems happy though. Even if he is puking his guts up in the bathroom right now.”_

_Asuma cracked, causing Atsuko to giggle slightly. She raised her hand up, offering Tenzo her drink. He took the cup without even looking up from staring down into his own glass, strangely quiet since the conversation about Kakashi and Atsuko’s engagement started._

_“Yeah, speaking of I should probably go check on him… I’ll be back.”_

_Atsuko excused herself quickly to head back inside. As she headed for the door she spared a glance at the Genin on the other side of the yard. They were all seated criss cross in a big circle as well, save for Shikamaru and Sasuke. Shikamaru was laying at the edge of the circle on one of the picnic blankets, his hands behind his head as he contributed a little to the conversation. Sasuke was also on the outskirts, leaning against the wooden fence, seemingly content with just watching everyone else. Naruto and Kiba were going on about something she couldn’t make out, but whatever it was had them both rather animated. Throwing their hands around and pulling rather insane expressions. Choji and Shino sat side by side, the larger boy eating from a paper plate in his lap while Shino watched with an unreadable expression. Though Kiba and Naruto seemed to stop talking for a moment to turn their heads in his direction before visibly deflating. He’d likely taken the wind out of their sails with some kind of overly logical comment._

_Ino, Sakura, and Hinata were also sat in the circle, but all three were on one picnic blanket, seemingly having their own little side conversation as they whispered to one another and giggled. Atsuko smiled at the sight and her eyes filtered back up to Sasuke, only to find he was already looking at her. She waved in his direction and he smirked, eyes falling shut as he ducked his head down in acknowledgement. Good to see he was enjoying himself as well._

_When she finally entered back into the house, all of the chattering and music was left outside. Leaving her hyper aware of the way the floorboards creaked under her feet, echoing through the home in a comforting way. A symphony she’d heard a thousand times before. Her eyelids hung low and her skin buzzed with contentment. She knew she’d never be able to describe the feeling that ached in her chest… the feeling of home. Of immeasurable love and gratitude. It all felt so much greater than herself. Just knowing that she had a backyard full of people- no, full of family- made her happier in this single moment than she’d ever been in her life._

_Just as she was ready to give into that emotion fully, the sound of Kakashi retching from the other side of the bathroom door pulled her back to reality. She’d approached the door in her haze and blinked a couple times as she processed the noise. A deep groan rang out from the door and she giggled a little rapping gently on the door with her knuckles._

_“Kakashi, babe… you alright in there?”_

_She called quietly, pressing her ear to the door for a response._

_“Y-yeah… just drank too much…”_

_Kakashi replied, slurring his words just a little and stopping mid sentence to spit into the toilet. Atsuko smiled softly,_

_“Alright… I’m gonna go get you some water and something for your stomach. I’ll be right back.”  
_

_She advised, moving away from the door before she could hear his weak protests. She prepared him a cup of room temperature water and she plucked a couple leaves from the mint plant in the kitchen before returning to the bathroom. She didn’t hear him vomiting anymore so she knocked gently to give him some warning._

_“Coming in…”_

_She called before sliding the door open and stepping inside, only to be greeted by the most pitiful sight she’d ever seen. Kakashi was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, huddled close to the toilet with his head resting against the side of the bathtub. His legs were spread out on the floor, gangly and too long. He opened his eyes, just long enough to look at her, before letting them fall shut again. He managed a weak smile._

_“Hey, come on in. It’s a hell of a party.”_

_Kakashi commented, voice gravely and strained from puking. Atsuko only chuckled in response, moving to kneel next to him so she could push his sweaty hair back and off of his forehead. His head lolled to the side so he could look at her, humming his appreciation for her soothing touch._

_“Poor baby. Can’t handle his liquor, huh?”_

_She teased, a smirk sprawling across her features as Kakashi gave an over exaggerated pout, huffing._

_“You’re supposed to make sure I don’t drink too much. This is your fault.”_

_He complained and Atsuko giggled again, only to press a kiss to his sweaty forehead._

_“Yeah, yeah. I know you can’t take care of yourself anymore. Spoiled rotten.”_

_Atsuko replied, combing her fingers through his silver hair as he relaxed against the tub, humming contently. They fell into silence for a few moments as Kakashi’s breathing seemed to even out, going from taking deep breaths to fight the nausea to more normal ones. She knew he needed to drink the glass of water and chew on the mint leaves, but he needed a second for his stomach to calm down before he tried putting anything on it. So, she sat like this with him for a while. Combing his hair back from his face, still beautiful even if he was covered in sweat with a little bit of vomit stuck to the corners of his mouth. Her fingers continued their motions through his hair and she leaned in to pepper another soft kiss to his temple. She’d happily shut herself in this bathroom with him for the rest of the night if she had to, rubbing his back when he puked and helping him shower off when he decided it was time to move to the bed. Just because she wanted to help him in any way she could. All of the time. For the rest of her life._

_Suddenly, his eyes fluttered back open and he smiled up at her._

_“You know I love you, right? You’re the best thing that ever happened to me and I still… I don’t understand how I got so lucky.”_

_Kakashi stated, voice raw and full of genuine emotion. Atsuko smiled in response, raising her eyebrows a little. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d said something like this to her, but it was rare. Their relationship was built on a lot of silent understandings. In her mind, there really wasn’t a need for outright declarations of love when they could both FEEL it from the other’s actions. She also knew it was difficult for Kakashi to voice those feelings. To put words to them._

_“I love you too, ‘Kashi. But you don’t have to tell-“_

_Atsuko started, attempting to give him an out just in case he was uncomfortable. But he cut her off quickly._

_“No! I want to. My life changed so much when I met you. I didn’t think I was… that I was deserving of that kind of attention. But you never cared about what I’d done and you just accepted all of it. Like you knew everything about me from the second we met…”_

_Kakashi continued, his face scrunching up like he was in pain. Or struggling for the right words to say. Atsuko’s heart was clenching tightly in her chest and already tears were prickling her eyes._

_“Kashi…”_

_She mumbled out, only for him to shake his head._

_“It’s not… you just… acted like you’d always known me. And you felt so familiar to me too. When I walked you home that night I felt like I could relax for the first time in years. It was so strange but I couldn’t get enough, ya know? And even now I feel the same way even when you’re just in the same room as me. Like at least there is one person there who /understands/. I just… I love you so much you have no idea and I can’t even explain it.”_

_Kakashi finally finished his little rant, eyes scrunched tight in concentration and maybe a little frustration at not being able to really put it all into words. But he didn’t need to. Atsuko understood what he was saying completely and totally. She’d stopped questioning the connection a long time ago. Chalking it up to fate or compatible personalities. When they talked, the conversation came so easy it was like a reflex that had laid dormant inside her until she’d met him. When they didn’t talk, their bodies did. Hyper aware of each others presence like they were an extension of each other. A couple tears escaped and ran down her face. Kakashi smiled a little with his eyes still closed._

_“Like even now. I haven’t heard a single sniffle or whimper, but even without looking at you I know you’re crying. I can feel it.”_

_He hummed, slowly opening his eyes to confirm his theory. Atsuko gave him a slightly embarrassed smile as she reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. She let out a wet chuckle and he returned it._

_“Lucky guess. I’m always crying.”_

_Atsuko quipped and this caused Kakashi to let out a genuine laugh, shaking his head a little._

_“Maybe…”_

_He breathed out and Atsuko moved quickly to press another kiss to his forehead. With her lips still pressed against his skin, she replied._

_“I understand what you mean completely. Like you’re a part of me I didn’t know was missing. You don’t have to explain it, because I feel it too.”_

_Kakashi smiled at this, his eyes falling shut again._

_“If you feel it too then you should know what I really want right now…”_

_He hummed and she pulled away from his forehead, cocking her to the side and furrowing her brow in thought for a moment. When it hit her, she laughed and smacked a hand against his chest._

_“Yeah, right! I’m not giving you a real kiss until you brush your teeth, lightweight.”_

_Atsuko scolded, only for Kakashi to laugh deep from his chest and nod in response,_

_“Fair enough.”_

Atsuko woke with a ragged gasp, her eyes flying open as she felt her back being pulled away from the rock wall of the cave. The world was spinning, but all she could see were flashes of black nothingness and pale blue. A little red. Someone was moving her, she realized purely based on the feeling of strong arms wrapping around her midsection and lifting her off the ground. Her eyes couldn’t keep up and blood was rushing to her head. As she was fully pulled off the ground, the change in position caused her a sharp pain to ring from her leg. She let out a strangled cry and wriggled in the grasp of whoever had a hold on her. But she was too weak to fight and everything was happening so fast.

“Easy, girlie. I gotcha, try not to wiggle so much.”

A deep voice rang out. The tone not one she was familiar with. It was somewhere between a warning and an attempt at comfort. However, she listened. Mostly because, even if she were to wiggle out of this persons grasp, its not like she could get away. A small part of her was actually soothed by the voice, just grateful to not be alone anymore. She went lax in their arms and the voice she’d come to recognize as male praised her compliance with a soft ‘good girl’. He lifted her again, the pain flashing through her leg and she let out a whimper, but the man continued. He draped her over his shoulder at her waist, keeping a grip on the backs of her thighs.

He was walking, every step causing her leg to ache. After a few steps, however, she’d grown used to the pain. Gaining enough awareness to lift her head to look at their surroundings. They were exiting the cave and it was daylight out. The sun burned her eyes but she blinked hurriedly to try and reorient, squinting a little. She could make out the grass and a few trees but it was all too bright. Giving up, she dropped her head again so she was facing the back of the man carrying her… again, flashes of black and red…

“Kisame… try to be easy with her.”

A familiar voice instructed but her head was swimming with pain and exhaustion and dehydration. Whose voice was that… Kisame… why did that name sound so familiar… The man carrying her jostled her on his shoulder and another mind numbing shock of pain rang through her body. Her vision went back around the edges and she knew unconsciousness was about to swallow her whole again. She tried to fight it, needing to know what was going on. Through the rushing of blood in her ears she heard the deep voice from the cave again.

“I’m being as easy as I can. You think you could do a better job, you carry her Itachi.”

Every sound after that was a garbled mess and her vision went black as the name rang out in her head. Itachi?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I lied a little. I actually had more time this week to write than I thought I would! So here is a little Christmas gift for everyone! I hope I did a good job at making this feel uneasy but not sad yet. Ya girl Atsuko is vibing around in the denial phase and just moving forward physically hoping it's going to get her where she needs to be without having to deal with any of the nasty emotions. Anywho! I really won't be updating again until January 8th. How's that last sentence for a cliffhanger? Happy Holidays!


	22. Adjust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this Chapter: 
> 
> Holocene - Bon Iver
> 
> The Dream Synopsis - The Last Shadow Puppets
> 
> When You Were Young - The Killers
> 
> On Your Porch - The Format

Atsuko awoke to darkness. The pitch black nothingness caused her to panic almost immediately. She could feel herself blinking, eyelids fluttering open and closed quickly, but it was still dark. A gasp tore its way from her throat and, out of instinct, she jerked her hand toward her face. Before she could reach it, however, a massive hand clamped down around her wrist.

“I wouldn’t do that, girlie. Leave the blindfold on.”

A deep voice commanded, and Atsuko recognized it as the voice from the cave. Her arm dropped limply back to where it had rested against her stomach. Blindfold… she blinked a couple times and strained her eyes to test this information. Sure enough, if she focused hard enough, she could make out small spots of light through the dark fabric. Her heart rate slowed again and she took a second to orient. She was lying on her back on what felt like a forgiving surface. A bed or couch, maybe. It was definitely cushioned. She also noticed that her brain seemed to be less foggy than it had been in the previous week. With the newfound cognizance, she tried to decipher what exactly was going on.

She remembered breaking her leg… being in that musty cave for two days if she’d managed to keep track of the days properly. Then she was removed. The man who carried her, she recognized his voice just now, but she couldn’t remember who he was… his face. She focused intently on her last moments of consciousness, trying desperately to remember who had come to save her. Then, it hit her like a train and her mouth went completely dry. She swallowed hard, but didn’t dare move a muscle.

“I… you’re Kisame Hoshigaki…”

She stated, surprising herself when her voice was almost inaudible. Scratchy and barely able to go above a whisper. Kisame hummed at her observation.

“Guess you did recognize us after all. Itachi seemed to think you were too out of it to remember much.”

He replied, and at the mention of Itachi, Atsuko relaxed just the slightest. She didn’t think he would hurt her. At the very least, it wouldn’t make sense to rescue her just to kill her. He had… rescued her, right?

“Can you remove the blindfold then? Since I know who’s here?”

She asked carefully, not wanting to push her luck but also not like being kept in the dark.

“No can do, sweetheart. You may know Itachi and myself, but we’ve got a friend coming to look at that leg of yours and he prefers discretion. He also doesn’t like chit chat or wasting time. So, when he gets here, be still and stay quiet.”

Kisame instructed, and Atsuko swallowed against the lump in her throat. She was trying her best to take all of this in stride, processing a piece of information at a time. So, not only had Itachi and Kisame rescued her, they were also bringing in a friend to fix her leg? She imagined she was being held in some kind of safe house for the organization they were apart of, the Akatsuki. Something else was bothering her as well. They were the enemy, right? Though no one knew the groups real intentions, Kisame and Itachi had come to the Hidden Leaf with the intention of abducting Naruto. And, besides Itachi’s past, Atsuko knew that Kisame was merciless. One of the Great Ninja Swordsmen of the Mist. He was _dangerous._ But here he was, giving her advice on how to handle their friend and calling her sweetheart?

“Why… why are you being so nice to me?”

She asked before she had much time to think over the question. Kisame let out a chuckle in response to that, and she found that his voice was actually rather soothing if she could set aside the fact that he was an extremely dangerous wanted criminal.

“You think just because I’m a bad guy that I don’t know how to treat a lady?”

He snarked back, and Atsuko actually smiled at his response.

“I’m not doubting your bedside manners… I may be a lady, but I’m also a Shinobi from the Hidden Leaf. I believe I’ve kicked you in the face once before.”

She replied, and he chuckled again at that, following it up with a hum of acknowledgement. There was a beat of silence and Atsuko used the time to focus on her surroundings, trying to determine how the room was laid out by sound alone. If she concentrated, she could hear the crackling of something burning… Not loud enough to be a stove or fireplace, so maybe a candle, but it would have to be close for her to hear it, likely on a bedside table. Then, she could hear what sounded like a breeze beating against wooden walls. Whistling and rattling the wood slightly. There was groan of floorboards as well. It sounds like someone was shuffling, adjusting their footing. Based on that, she could tell Kisame was standing on the right side of the bed.

“So, that _was_ you. Hell of a kick…”

He mused before letting out a soft puff of breath and continuing.

“Should probably let Itachi tell ya how everything went down. But he did say not to lay a finger on you. To keep you as calm as possible. I respect the guy, so I listened. But I really don’t have a reason to hurt ya, sweetheart. So try not to worry about it.”

Kisame finally answered and Atsuko nodded a little, feeling her hair scrape against the material of a pillowcase… definitely in a bed, then. Her heart stuttered at the idea of being face to face with Itachi again. This time, she would find the opportunity to ask him everything she’d been burning to know. She would tell him she knew the whole truth and ask what she was supposed to do with… Sasuke. Oh god, Sasuke was still missing. She’d have to tell him that she’d failed in the one thing he’d left for her to do. Then, she remembered that she was out looking for Sasuke when she’d fell. Panic rose in her chest and she fidgeted in the bed, testing her movement and immediately wincing and hissing as a fresh wave of pain radiated from her leg.

“Might not wanna wiggle around so much, girlie. Leg looks nasty, I’m sure it doesn’t feel great.”

Kisame commented, and Atsuko tried to take a couple steadying breaths. Logically, he was right. She wasn’t going anywhere until that friend of theirs came to patch up her leg. On top of that, even if this guy was a medical ninja, a break as bad as the one she was currently suffering from would require at least a week of bedrest after being treated. A week until she could look for Sasuke again…

“Kisame, how long have I been here?”

She asked tentatively, sounding a little breathless as the anxiety forced the air from her lungs.

“Less than 24 hours.”

He replied, and her hands tightened into tight fists as she gripped the blanket that was draped over her. Less than 24 hours… that was okay. She could work with that. But she’d already lost 2 days being stuck in that cave. Then add at least another week of recovery time on top of that. God, she couldn’t afford to spend that much time out of commission when she needed to be out looking for-

Her train of thought was cut off by the sound of a door creaking open directly to her left. She heard Kisame shuffle a little from her right side, then the sound of feet dragging across hardwood coming from the direction of the door. Like someone wasn’t picking up their feet from the ground, just sliding across its surface lazily. However, there was another set of footsteps coming from the same direction. Definitely more poised, lifting entirely from the ground and snapping against the floor so quietly she almost didn’t hear them.

“This is the girl?”

A gruff voice asked from her left. It was one Atsuko didn’t recognize at all. Possibly the man Kisame had warned her about… He’d said to stay still and quiet, but she’d gone absolutely rigid at the intrusion. She felt him approach the left side of her bed, likely examining her busted leg that laid over the top of the blanket. Even after all the sleep she’d gotten in the last couple of days, her chakra still hadn’t replenished. She wasn’t able to examine the chakra of the two people who’d entered the room, still completely in the dark. A chill ran up her body and she shivered in anticipation… for something bad to happen, she wasn’t sure. In all honesty, she had to fight the urge to reach out for Kisame’s hand, just desperate for a somewhat safe presence.

“Yes, this is her.”

Another voice answered and immediately Atsuko broke out in a cold sweat, her heart beat in her throat. Itachi. She had to fight down the urge to rip the blindfold off. Her mind went completely quiet, honing in on the sound of his voice and hoping he would speak again. Just to provide her with something she was familiar with. A safety blanket of sorts.

“Hm. Compound fracture… looks like the Tibia broke through the skin, here.”

The gruff voice observed, then to further make his point, he poked at the raw skin of her leg. Atsuko gasped as a shock of pain ran through her, unable to stop the noise. She bit down on her bottom lip to try to prevent anymore sounds from bubbling up.

“But someone set the bone back. Girl, did you set the fracture?”

The gruff voice questioned, clearly not paying much attention to her gasp of pain. Kisame had said he didn’t like wasting time, so she nodded quickly, croaking out a shaky,

“Yes.”

This earned a soft hum from the gruff voiced man.

“Good. That makes my job easier.”

He replied before another bout of silence fell through the room. Atsuko tried to focus on her breathing and the feeling of her heart pounding against her ribcage, but there was another sound of shuffling from the left side of the bed. Suddenly, a searing pain flashed through her skin and her back arched from the bed in response, a strangled cry escaping past her lips. Immediately, there were a pair of strong hands on her shoulders, pressing her back into the bed and holding her still as the pain wracked through her body.

“Easy, sweetheart. Just try to breathe, alright?”

Kisame coached, the sound of his voice just barely audible over the blood rushing through her ears. The pain was almost unbearable, but she recognized the feeling. Medical-ninjutsu. She tried to steady her breathing again, taking deep breaths through her nose and releasing them through her mouth, reeling her wailing in to a few stuttering gasps. She fought against the excruciating feeling of her bone snapping back into place and reconstructing itself. The burning agony of her muscles reattaching and her nerves reconnecting. Tears welled in her eyes, soaking the blindfold as she writhed a little against Kisame’s iron grasp.

There was nothing to distract her from the pain except for the encouraging words Kisame breathed occasionally. ‘Good girl’ and ‘Just a little longer’, he’d grunt out, breath fanning against her forehead a constant reminder of his close proximity. She fought to remain conscious despite her brain desperately wanting to pull her under to avoid the trauma of the pain. Atsuko found herself latching onto Kisame’s word and the feeling of his massive hands gripping her shoulders like a life line. If she could focus on the small praise instead of the pain, maybe she could stay awake. His words rang in her ears and she replayed them over and over as flashes of white hot agony blurred her vision.

Suddenly, there was relief. Every muscle in her body went lax at once, her back collapsing against the mattress as the high strung tension finally released. A shuddering gasp tore its way from her throat, quickly followed by a sob that caused her to tremble. Her mind flooded with relief and she cried openly when it seemed like the pain was over, bringing her hands up to press the blindfold into her eyes and cover her open mouth. Kisame released his grip on her shoulders and gave a reassuring pat to the top of her head.

“Crying? Distasteful. You should be grateful I agreed to assist at all, girl. Another day with your leg like that and you’d would’ve died from sepsis.”

The gruff voice scolded, clearly off put by her tears. Atsuko shook her head immediately, choking back sobs as she pulled her hand away from her mouth.

“N-no, I’m incredibly grateful. Just glad it’s over… I don’t know you, but thank you.”

She hiccuped, her breaths slowly becoming less ragged as she began to calm down a little. This earned her a scoff from the man.

“Words of thanks are meaningless without action to back them up, girl. You are lucky that I have something to gain from this interaction. You remember our deal, Itachi?”

The gruff man questioned.

“Yes, Sasori. I will have those ingredients for you by next week.”

Itachi answered, voice calm and smooth. It was deeper than she remembered and she found herself keening forward a little, tilting an ear in his direction to hopefully hear more of the sound. However, all she was met with was a grunt of approval from the gruff man and the sound of feet sliding against the floor again. He was leaving. She heard the door shut back in place with a soft click and then Kisame was removing his hand from the top of her head.

“You can take off the blindfold now, sweetheart.”

He instructed, and immediately Atsuko was pulling the offending fabric from her head, balling it up in her hand. She kept her eyes closed for a moment before threatening to open them, afraid that the sudden intrusion of light would only cause another flash of pain to rock through her head. Surprisingly, when she finally did eek them open, she found the light in the room was soft. Far from the bright intrusion she was expecting. After a couple of blinks, she managed to orient and realized she was staring at a ceiling. She wanted to lift her head, but the memory of pain made her afraid to move.

“Kisame, help her sit up.”

She heard Itachi command from the foot of the bed. Atsuko lolled her head to the right side where she knew Kisame was, only to see the man move closer to her. He didn’t look as frightening as she remembered him. Sure, he was massive and his skin was a pale blue color, and his eyes were reminiscent of a fish and when he flashed her a smile she noticed his teeth were sharpened into menacing points… but still, he’d been surprisingly gentle with her during the whole ordeal and she’d even taken some comfort in his presence. She returned his smile with a weak one of her own as he drew closer, pressing a massive hand under her back and the other on her stomach, using the leverage to haul into a sitting position against the headboard. Atsuko winced a little in preparation for the pain that was sure to radiate from her leg, but all she could feel was a dull ache. She shifted a little until she was in a comfortable position and finally turned her head back towards the foot of the bed when Kisame stepped away from her.

Itachi was sitting in a wooden desk chair, relaxed back with his hands clasped together and resting in his lap. When she met his dark eyes, he tilted his head to the side a little, regarding her. Atsuko found that all of the oxygen in her lungs was stolen from her in that moment and her eyes widened as she worked her best to remain calm. He didn’t look much different from a few weeks ago, but the situation was different. He looked tired, she realized, his eyes half lidded and the wrinkles under them exaggerated. Other than that, she couldn’t read any specific expression on his face. She could imagine that this act of kindness… his saving her was something he didn’t quite understand himself. He’d acted before he had time to think and now he was trying to determine where to go from here.

“Kisame, thank you for your help.”

Itachi stated, suddenly breaking his eye contact with Atusko to look over at his partner. She followed his line of sight and watched as Kisame gave a nod in the affirmative. That was all Itachi had to say to let Kisame know that he needed to leave. The large man walked around the bed and passed behind Itachi’s chair, but as he reached the door Atsuko spoke up.

“Ah, Kisame…”

He stopped before he could open the door, turning a little so he could catch her gaze. Another smile graced her lips and she felt her eyes relax from their widened state.

“Thank you. You made that whole ordeal much more bearable.”

Atsuko said and she was met with a chuckle from the large man, then a shrug of his massive shoulders.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. Maybe you can buy me dinner sometime.”

He answered, winking one of those fish eyes at her and drawing a breathy laugh from Atsuko. With that, he turned to exit the room as well. The click of the door latching behind him was like a call back to reality and she slowly turned her head in the direction of Itachi. He was still staring at her with that unreadable expression and she worried about who would be the first to speak or what she was supposed to say… but he took that weight off of her shoulders.

“You shouldn’t be so quick to trust people.”

Itachi commented, standing slowly and moving the chair to the right side of her bed. As he drew closer, her heart sputtered and she swallowed against the lump in her throat. However, he simply sat back down in the chair, assuming his relaxed position from before. With him this close, she could make out other little features. He clasped his hands together in his lap and she noticed his painted fingernails and the ring he sported. He was still wearing that over sized cloak, but she could see the way it moved on his body and how it clung to certain spots. His elbows and shoulders… The cloak made him look ambiguous from afar. She hadn’t been able to get a read on his body, but now she could tell he was still thin and angular. Like Sasuke. Her heart hammered in her chest at the thought, beating loudly against her ribcage. But she fought the urge to spill her guts just yet. She needed to gauge this situation… maybe letting him know she knew the truth wasn’t the best move after all.

“Are you referring to Kisame or yourself with that statement?”

She questioned, raising an eyebrow and shifting slightly so it would be easy to look at him in his new position at her bedside. The ghost of smile pulled at the corners of his lips but he didn’t return her question with an answer. She knew the answer anyway. Both.

“How did you find me? And why help me?”

Atsuko asked, her voice an octave lower now. It was loaded question. She knew that by helping her he was showing his hand. He knew that as well. But he still wouldn’t speak to her freely. A lull of silence followed her question and Itachi’s eyes turned down to look at the comforter, the slightest twitch of his brow showing his concentration. Trying to discern how to word this without giving too much away. Suddenly, she decided she didn’t want to play this game. She couldn’t stand tip toeing around each other when she knew the truth and would be able to read through every single one of his lies.

“Itachi… you can be honest with me. I know the truth. All of it.”

She sighed out and his head snapped up immediately to lock eyes with her. All the exhaustion she’d read in his features before were gone now, replaced only with a wide eyed disbelief and… something else. Anger? She couldn’t tell, but she did her best to meet his gaze with sincerity, not breaking the eye contact. The candle light on the bedside table flickered across his face, the flame reflecting in his dark eyes. Her eyes wandered to his prominent cheekbones and slender nose. He always was such a beautiful child… and looking at him now, her heart broke for the millionth time since the massacre. She recognized that other emotion in his eyes now. Desperation. It came across a little deranged, but she didn’t have it in her heart to fear him. Not now. Not ever.

Suddenly, his face relaxed and he pulled away, relaxing back in the chair again.

“You’re delirious from the pain and dehydration.”

He replied, like he was trying to convince her along with himself. Atsuko blinked a couple times in disbelief before shaking her head. Absolutely not. He wasn’t going to pretend like she didn’t know anything. He didn’t get to take this conversation away from her by just refusing to have it.

“No, I am not. Itachi, don’t treat me like a child. I’m being honest with you because I’m going to see through every lie you tell me and I’d rather not do this song and dance.”

Atsuko defended, shifting again in the bed to turn her body to face him. She met his gaze again and held it with determination. There was a tense silence before he let out a gentle sigh, bringing his thumb and forefinger up to rub the bridge of his nose. His shoulders went lax and he dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling, the hard line of his jaw flexing slightly as it melted into his slender neck.

“You didn’t tell Sasuke, then?”

He questioned and immediately she replied.

“Of course not.”

Then, another bout of silence as Itachi considered his position. Atsuko’s throat burned with the effort to stay quiet and allow him to think. There was so much to talk about but she had no earthly idea where to start. She opted to speak rather than worry herself sick over what to say.

“He’s gone… he left the village to join Orochimaru, so I went looking for him. That’s why I was in that cave in the first place…”

She advised, dropping her head forward with a shuddering breath.

“I know.”

He answered, finally bringing his head back up to look at her. Atsuko could feel his eyes on her, but she didn’t dare look up to meet his gaze this time. She’d failed Sasuke and by extension she’d failed Itachi. He’d left him in her care…

“You’ve been keeping tabs on him, then. I figured as much. Were you out looking for him as well?”

Atsuko asked, picking at the blanket in her lap again for any excuse to not meet his eyes.

“No.”

Itachi replied, and that got her attention. She snapped her head back up to fix him a curious look, her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. If he knew that Sasuke had defected to Orochimaru, why hadn’t he gone looking for him? Tried to set him back on a different path? Maybe she didn’t understand his intentions as well as she’d thought.

“I’m sorry, Itachi. I’m really confused here. I know what happened. I know about Danzo and Lord Third and the Massacre. And I thought for a while that I understood what you wanted me to do. What part I had to play in all of this… but maybe I’ve been wrong… not like it matters much now if I can’t find him. Oh god…”

She was trying to remain calm and collected throughout this encounter, but just the mere thought of never seeing Sasuke again caused massive tears to well in her eyes. She dropped her head forward again, bringing the heels of her palms up to rub at her eyes in an attempt to stop the water works. But it didn’t help, she sniffled slightly as the aching in her chest only grew worse. All of this was so wrong. She didn’t know where she was, she didn’t know where Sasuke was, she’d been away from home for a month… and now she was sat right in front of Itachi Uchiha and she couldn’t manage much more than some tears and vague statements. The weight of everything began crushing her quickly and she found her breathing growing ragged, her shoulders shaking and the tears refusing to stop. A panic attack, she realized a little too late.

“I-I’m sorry. J-just give me a minute.”

She choked out, gasping for air between sentences as she drew her legs up. She wrapped her arms tightly arounds her shins and buried her face in her knees, trying her hardest to focus on steadying her breathing. But her mind was flooding with images. The same ones that plagued her for the last month. The flashes of gore and blood. Sasuke’s screaming face. Some old ones that always cropped up at times like these. A girl from her class, bleeding to death in her arms as she tried to rush her back to the medical tent, only to realize she’d never even learned the girls name. Then some new ones. Sasuke’s empty bedroom. Dark hallways and deadly quiet mornings. Loss rocked through her like a bomb built only to implode. It felt like being sucked into a black hole that was centered in her chest. Sucking and pulling until she completely collapsed in on herself.

Then, there was a hand on her shoulder. Long slender fingers grasping softly, the warmth spreading through her body and easing her muscles. Her breathing slowed and she jerked her head up only to be met with a familiar image. Itachi was looking down at her, a little pity in his eyes but his mouth was a soft line, upturned at the corners slightly as she regarded him with wide eyes. For a brief moment, she was sitting on the forrest floor again. He was 6 years old and his eyes were too big for his face, wide and questioning. His words rang through her head, echoing through her empty skull as the images from before faded into background noise. She heard it clear as day, in that sweet little voice of his, even if the Itachi currently in front of her only offered silent support.

“ _It’s okay to be sad sometimes, Atsuko-sensei.”_

After it seemed like she’d calmed down and regained her footing, he released his grip on her shoulder and leaned back in that chair again. It creaked a little under his weight and she was left staring at him in complete awe. Even if he was young when they first met, he was always like this balance for her. He was calm and collected while she was emotional and explosive. A soulmate. Not in the romantic sense. Not even in the slightest. But in the way parents referred to their children. Like lifelong best friends. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding in one, solid, exhale and everything slowed down again. Back to normal. The ticking of the clock on the wall no longer felt like a threat.

“Thank you, Itachi… I’m sorry I was never stable enough to be there for you when you needed someone.”

Atsuko breathed out, suddenly feeling guilty as things fell back into place. He’d helped her through quite a few panic attacks back in his youth. But he never complained or seemed scared of her. Just offered the support she needed. He was so accepting and open at such a young age…

“No need. You’ve helped and taught me more than you’ll ever know.”

Itachi reassured, the kindness in his voice and genuine nature of his words had her believing that he may have really meant them. Atsuko chuckled a little breathlessly at that.

“Well, I sure hope so. Don’t know what I was getting paid for if I didn’t.”

She replied, earning a soft snort from Itachi. A sound that zapped her like a static shock, making some of the hair on her arms stand up. There was a long silence and Atsuko found herself drained, focusing on the way the dancing candle flame cast shadows around the dimly lit room. When she turned her eyes back to Itachi, he was doing the same. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke again.

“You need to clean up, eat and rest… we should save this conversation for tomorrow.”

He suggested, turning to look at her when his sentence came to a close. Surprisingly, Atsuko nodded numbly when they made eye contact. He stood from the chair, slowly like he didn’t want to move too quickly. Or he couldn’t.

“Good. I’ll show you to the washroom. While you bathe, I’ll get you something to eat.”

Itachi began, walking around to the other side of her bed and offering his forearm to her if she needed assistance in standing. She looked between him and the arm for a moment before landing back on his eyes.

“You didn’t answer my question from before. Why bring me here? Why help me?”

She asked quietly, tilting her head to the side a little. He let out a gentle sigh, never lowering his arm.

“Because Sasuke needs you.”

——————————————————

Itachi had guided her down a long hallway to the communal washroom. There were 4 stalls for privacy and a large soaking tub against the back wall. Large enough, in fact, that is could fit at least 6-7 grown adults. She’d padded across the tiled floor a little unsure at first, but Itachi had handed her a small caddy full of everything she would need to shower. As well as a change of clothes. He’d apologize softly, claiming it was just what he had to offer. A pair of too long sweatpants and a sweatshirt. But she’d taken both gratefully. When she’d gotten up to leave the bedroom, she’d noticed her Jonin vest and headband were missing. She wondered if he’d removed them and hidden them purposefully. Still, she looked around the large bathroom a little nervously. This was obviously some large base. Almost like a convent, built to house several people. They’d passed by a few more bedroom doors on their way to this part of the building. Itachi seemed to sense her hesitance.

“There are other people besides myself and Kisame who live here. But I’ve made everyone aware of your presence and they’ve been given the order that you should be left alone. However, if anyone does approach you, just stay calm and remain polite. They won’t hurt you.”

He assured her, and his promise did make her feel slightly better. She had one more question before he left to find her something to eat.

“Do they… besides Kisame, do they know who I am to you? That I’m a Shinobi?”

She asked quietly, sure that if she did happen to run into anyone that would be one of the first things discussed. Why she was here. How she knew Itachi. She could imagine that he was reserved about his past and that there were people in this group of rogue Shinobi that would be desperate for more information. She just wanted to make sure she wasn’t giving anything away that he didn’t want known.

“No. They know you are a woman from my past, that’s all. If someone asks… you can tell them you trained me as a child. But nothing more. Lie if they ask anything else. Downplay your abilities.”

He instructed and Atsuko nodded in the affirmative. With that, he’d left her to shower. She entered one of the stalls closest to the door for an easy escape route if need be. As she began to disrobe for the first time in a month, she realized how absolutely filthy she was. Covered in dirt and bruises and dried blood. Her pants were ruined, the left leg ripped to shreds from her fall and use of the material to set the injury. She balled up the articles and tossed them in the corner of the stall, along with the rest of her clothing. Honestly, none of it was salvageable even with a decent wash. Or two. As the water started to pour over her head, she felt the grimy build up on her skin slowly start to slip away, like shedding her skin.

Standing under the warm spray, she took some time to relax and consider her next moves. She was lucky to be able to walk at this point. Her leg was mostly healed, but it wouldn’t be a good idea to resume her search for Sasuke until she was back at 100%. She knew she was dehydrated and her body was weak from lack of proper food. Maybe she could cut down the original recovery time frame from a week to 4 days. However, she had no idea where she was at the time being. No idea how far away Sasuke was from where she was or if she’d even be able to track him again. Not like it had done a lot of good in the last several weeks. Kasumi had seemed rather adamant that Sasuke hadn’t gotten any closer in all their weeks of searching… She sighed at no one in particular. She’d probably have to return to the Hidden Leaf with her tail tucked between her legs and ask for additional assistance. If they would provide it.

Then, she considered her current situation. In what was likely the Akatsuki hideout. A base of operations from the size of the building. Though she couldn’t bring herself to be concerned about it. She trusted Itachi when he said no one would harm her. Maybe she was too quick to trust, but Kisame… he’d been kind to her. Genuinely and honestly kind when he didn’t have to be. Logically, she knew he was a Rogue Shinobi, wanted for countless crimes. As was Itachi, though his circumstances were different, she knew this meant that anyone else in this organization was cut from a similar cloth. Dangerous. Murderers. But she didn’t want to view it that way. If she left her preconceived notions at the door, maybe she’d get through this relatively unscathed. Though she couldn’t imagine she would just be allowed to leave here and return to the Hidden Leaf with all of this information-

As she was considering this temporary set back and lathering her body with an almond scented soap, the large door to the washroom slid open quickly. She didn’t think Itachi would be back so soon and she knew for a fact he wouldn’t open the door if she was showering. Even if the stall she was in would block his view of her body, he was too polite. Her eyes went wide as saucers as she turned around to see who had come into the room.

Strutting in confidently was a tall man with slicked back, silver, hair. He was wearing the same cloak as Itachi, the dark black covered in red clouds. But he shed it quickly, allowing it fall to the floor with a groan as his magenta eyes scrunched shut. He was undeniably handsome, Atsuko recognized but was that… blood on his chin? He looked like he’d taken a bite out of someones throat with the concerning amount of blood that coated his mouth and ran down his neck. She couldn’t see any further due to the stall, but she imagined his chest was covered in the liquid as well.

“Fucking shit… Kakuzu is such a goddamn slave driver… mother fucker making me walk all goddamn day for a bounty that didn’t ev-“

He was talking to himself, rather loudly. Atsuko wondered if he thought she was someone else and that he was complaining to one of the other members of the organization. But, when his eyes landed on her, he mimicked her surprised expression, eyebrows shooting up.

“Oh shit! Who the fuck are you?!”

The man demanded and his voice rocked around the bathroom like a sonic blast, causing Atsuko to flinch slightly.

“Oi! Who the fuck is-!”

He yelled, heading for the door to the bathroom. Atsuko realized he was likely calling to another member and she panicked, really not thinking she’d be able to handle talking to two of them at once. Her hands flew up to grip the top of the stall door were it fell just below her neck line.

“Wait! Hey! Don’t call for anyone else. I’m-I’m a friend of Itachi’s.”

She interrupted him, hoping that Itachi’s name carried at least a little weight with this guy. The silver haired man stopped shouting for a moment, ducking back into the bathroom and peering at her curiously, his head cocked to the side and eyebrows furrowed like he was trying to remember something. Suddenly, a shit-eating grin broke across his and he approached the stall. He didn’t peak over the barrier, but he did rest his wrists on the top of the door as Atsuko took a step back toward the spray of the shower. She snatched the towel off the rack beside her, tightening it around her body.

“Well, shit. Didn’t think crow brain was into bitches. But he actually pulled a pretty one!”

He commented, whistling a little as he finally did take advantage of his position to peak over the stall. Atsuko frowned up at him. Oh, great. A perverted asshole. Distasteful, but Itachi had advised her to stay polite… And she had experience with these types. So, he had obviously been out when the order had been given to leave her alone, but she doubted he was the type to listen to orders anyway.

“We aren’t sleeping together. I’m just a friend and he’s helping me out, that’s all.”

She replied, tugging the towel around her body a little tighter than before in a desperate attempt to not feel so vulnerable. But the action just drew the man’s attention, his magenta colored eyes darting down and dragging up her body like a man seeing his first meal in weeks. A long tongue peaked out behind blood soaked lips and he drug it across his bottom lip in thought, humming low in his chest.

“Yeah, I don’t think crow brain would even know what to do with a bitch like you…”

He purred and Atusko scoffed, rolling her eyes despite the warning to ‘remain polite’ ringing through her ears. Clearly that kind of approach wouldn’t work on this guy. And, if she was being honest with herself, the slight purr in his voice flustered her a little. He was an attractive man and something about the blood of unknown origins dripping from his chin… She discarded the thoughts immediately, deciding to return his attitude with one of her own.

“I doubt you’d know much about it yourself, asshole.”

Atsuko quipped back, and the man returned that comment with an absolutely predatory smirk, shifting slightly like he was going to open the stall door any moment. Shit, wrong call. She swallowed against the lump in her throat but managed to stand her ground. This man was part of a criminal organization. He was covered in blood and she was completely defenseless and she’d challenged him. Like a fucking idiot.

“Oh, sweetheart, I’d like to show you just how much I know-!”

He’d growled, already clicking the lock to the stall and slowly pushing it open when Atsuko heard a voice ring out, stopping him dead in his tracks as he whipped his head towards the offending sound.

“Hidan.”

Kisame warned from his position in the doorway. Atusko peered around the blood soaked man, whose name was apparently Hidan, to see her savior. He looked like he was here to shower himself. A towel drawn around his waist, displaying the pale blue expanse of his insanely muscular chest and arms. There was a shower caddy in his hand, just like the one Itachi had presented her with.

“Leave the girl alone. You weren’t here but boss gave orders not to lay a finger on her. If you did you’d have to deal with Itachi and _him.”_

Kisame advised, strolling into the washroom easily, like Hidan wasn’t fixing him with a crazed, murderous, glare. He took the stall directly next to Atsuko, preventing her from being closer to Hidan than necessary. Standing this close to him reminded her just how much taller he was, quite literally towering over her. He looked down at her, but didn’t use his height to his advantage, making sure to only look at her face as he gave her a reassuring smile.

“Thanks…”

She whispered up at him and he nodded in the affirmative before looking back out at Hidan. The grown man looked like he was ready to throw an actual fit, mumbling under his breath and cursing as he moved to the stall on the other side of Kisame, slamming the door shut behind him and cranking on the water. Atsuko finally felt she was able to drop her towel again, turning back to the steady stream of water coming from her own shower head to continue rinsing off her body and the shampoo from her hair. They all showered in silence for a few moments before someone spoke up.

“Hey, what’s your name?”

Hidan called from a couple stalls down, and Atsuko knew he was talking to her. She turned her gaze to see him leaning on the partition separating his and Kisame’s stalls. Feeling a little emboldened by Kisame’s presence, she decided to throw a disregarding remark his way.

“Oh, now you ask. Seemed perfectly content with just calling me ‘bitch’ earlier.”

She quipped, turning back towards the spray of the shower and ducking her face under the stream. Kisame snorted a little from his position beside her and Hidan let out an offending noise.

“Hey, I’m just trying to be nice, here. But if you want me to call you bitch, I couldn’t think of a more fitting name.”

He huffed, and this time Atsuko actually chuckled, turning around to rinse her hair out. This entire situation was mind boggling. Joking back and forth with a man who was covered in blood. In the hideout of a large criminal organization. Showering next to one the deadliest swordsmen to ever come out of the Hidden Mist Village. But she didn’t want to think too much about it now, opting to just let things be as they were. Embrace the crazy.

“I don’t think you’ll have much opportunity to call me anything after this encounter. But since I know your name, I’ll tell you mine. Atsuko.”

She finally answered, turning the water off and reaching again for her towel. In the comfort of her stall, she began to pat herself dry.

“Atsuko, huh. So you’re an old friend of crow brains? How’d you meet? Ooh, no, let me guess… at the coffee shop? No… the book store!”

Hidan teased, belittling her further by cooing out the possible meeting places like this was some shitty rom-com. Atsuko rolled her eyes again, bending over to wrap her hair in the towel, then moving to tug on the sweatpants and sweatshirt Itachi had left for her.

“No, actually, but those are sweet ideas. Is that where you met all of your boyfriends?”

Atsuko replied, tilting her head to the side and sticking out her bottom lip at him. Kisame let out a full body laugh this time, the sound deep and booming as it filled the foggy bathroom.

“Oh, you bitch…”

Hidan growled, gripping the partition like he was going to crawl through Kisame’s stall to get to her. But he had a twisted smirk on his face, like he was turned on by her constant ribbing. Just as she was about to have to answer for her smart assed remarks, there was a sharp knock on the washroom door.

“Atsuko.”

Itachi called from the other side, and Atsuko thanked her lucky stars that she wouldn’t have to deal with the aftermath of her interaction with Hidan now. She snatched the shower caddy from the stool in the stall and gave a wave to both men as she left the washroom. Sliding open the door and walking out into the hallway, she saw Itachi immediately. When the door clicked shut behind her she sighed and visibly deflated, sagging back against it.

“Did you run into someone?”

He asked, a little concern in his normally collected voice. Atsuko only nodded, confident in her handling of the situation. Hidan had seemed like the type to take advantage of mild mannered shy people. So she’d bolstered her confidence in front of him in hopes he would… respect her a little maybe? It hadn’t worked as intended, but thankfully Kisame had come to the rescue and then she’d had to keep up the act despite her heart hammering in her chest.

“Yeah… Hidan, I think his name was?”

She replied and immediately Itachi reached past her for the door, the anger in his eyes visible but his intent unclear. She reached out and grabbed his wrist, his eyes turning back to lock with hers.

“Don’t worry about it. He was a creep but Kisame came and let him know the situation. Kinda. He really just threatened him. Either way, I’m fine. I can handle myself.”

Atsuko advised. It was the truth. If Hidan had decided to come into her stall, she would have managed to defend herself in some form or fashion. Her chakra was near depletion but she could have mustered some sort of Genjutsu if she felt her life was on the line. And the guy didn’t seem too bright, so she thought it would have been relatively easy. Itachi sighed, dropping his hand from the door and nodding.

“Okay. Come on, I got you something to eat.”

He instructed, dipping to slide the caddy from her other hand into his own. He guided her back down the hall to the bedroom she assumed was his. Just as they were entering the room she heard another voice ring from somewhere in the base.

“Sasori, my man! Where did you run off too, hn?”

But before she could hear much more, Itachi slid the door closed behind them and turned the lock. She stood against the wall next to the door as Itachi moved around her to place the shower caddy on a wooden desk pressed against the adjacent wall. Her eyes scanned the room a little more fully from this position. The bed she’d previously woken up on was adjusted in the center of the room, the headboard pushed against the wall. The chair Itachi had been sitting in had been moved back to the matching desk and she noticed the sheets on the mattress had been changed as well. White and crisp. She was sure she’d left the previous ones filthy, if the grime she’d washed down the drain had been any indicator. There was a small nightstand on the left side of the bed, close to the door. It contained a candle, a small reading lamp, a pair of reading glasses and a book… though she didn’t recognize the title. Sitting at the edge of the small table was a bowl of steaming miso soup. From a package, she was sure. He definitely hadn’t had time to make it himself.

Other than that and a small dresser in the far corner, the room was bare. No pictures or personal touches, though she couldn’t really blame him for that. What or who would he want to keep pictures of? Sasuke? A constant reminder of what he’d done and the trauma he’d caused the boy? Not likely.

“You can take the bed. And the soup is right there. Oh and here…”

He reached behind himself to grab something off the wooden desk, presenting it to her. A glass of plain water. Atsuko moved carefully to take the glass, going to take a sip and realizing just how thirsty she was. She drained the entire thing in a few gulps, pulling the glass away from her lips with a surprised gasp.

“Ah, I’ll get you another glass…”

Itachi offered immediately, taking the cup from her hands and moving to leave the room.

“Itachi, wait. Where are you going to sleep?”

  
  
She asked, turning around to look at him as he reached for the bedroom door.

“The base has a couple couches. Figured I’d just pick one in the quietest spot.”

He answered with a shrug and then quickly pulled the door open to slip back into the hall. In just the brief moment the door was open, sound flooded the room.

“Oi! Bitch boy! Watch your fucking mouth!”

Hidan yelled, and the young voice she’d hear earlier fired back.

“Watch _my_ mouth? You’re one to talk, idiot!”

Then Itachi slid the door shut behind him and the noise was gone. Atsuko raised her eyebrows in disbelief, shaking her head a little as she went to sit on the bed, her back up against the headboard as she settled the bowl of soup in her lap. No way he was going to find somewhere quiet to sleep… After a few moments, Itachi entered the room again with another glass of water as promised, more incoherent yelling seeped into the space before he closed the door behind him. He set the glass on the table and immediately turned to head back outside.

“Goodnight, Atsuko. We can talk in the morning.”

Atsuko shook her head, hurriedly swallowing the food in her mouth.

“No, wait. Itachi, you’re not going to be getting any sleep out there… c’mon, bed’s plenty big enough for the two of us. Besides, I’d be a little nervous if you weren’t here… just in case.”

She admitted a little bashfully. She was strong in her own rite and she could fight if need be. But she was still weak and he knew these people… If something were to go awry, he could handle the situation a thousand times better than she could. He stopped and slowly turned back to look at her. She gave him a reassuring smile, patting the mattress next to her.

“C’mon. I don’t mind, really.”

Atsuko encouraged, and Itachi’s unreadable face immediately gave way to the pure exhaustion that was surely settling in his bones. His eyelids drooped and the muscles in his face relaxed. She wondered if this was comforting to him in some strange way. They’d surely shared a bond all those years ago and he knew that she loved him. Atsuko was sure that he loved her as well. The relief of just being around someone he cared about, and someone that cared about him as well… It wasn’t something he’d felt in a long time and maybe he was going to allow himself to relish in it for the time being. Itachi eyed the free side of the bed with nothing short of longing in his eyes and he gave her a weak nod.

Itachi shuffled around the bed towards the dresser and Atsuko went back to sipping at her soup, her stomach growling in an attempt to negotiate more food. But she knew if she ate too quickly after such an ordeal and so long without food, she would just throw up. Itachi pulled an additional blanket from the dresser and crossed the room to the bed. He laid on top of the comforter Atsuko was under, grabbing one of the two pillows and nestling it under his head before lying down flat on his back and shaking the new blanket out over his form. He stared up at the ceiling as Atsuko continued to eat and silence over took them for a few moments. A chill ran up her spine and she realized just how surreal all of this was. A couple months ago, she’d seen him for the first time since the Massacre and it had been this out of body experience. Something she’d had a hard time processing. Now she was sitting in his bed in the Akatsuki hideout, sipping miso soup as he laid next to her.

The insanity of the entire situation finally caught up with her and her eyes went wide, the spoon forgotten in her bowl as she gawked at the wall. She’d showered with an S-Rank Rogue Ninja. She’d openly teased a man who was covered in blood that was definitely not his own. She was spending the night in the fucking Akatsuki hideout. She was sitting in bed with her former student. The same boy who had murdered his entire clan and left her to raise his younger brother. Sasuke was still missing. She hadn’t been home in a month. She’d just found out her biological father was one of the Legendary Sanin. Her life was starting to feel so out of control she couldn’t help but giggle at the sheer audacity of the universe. To put her through these things and expect her to maintain her cool? Not giving her any time to process and just throwing her into the next shit show.

Before she was aware of it, she was laughing fully, doubling over and gripping her stomach. Her cackles filled the room and she felt Itachi shift next to her, likely concerned for her mental state. But she couldn’t help it. None of this felt real. There was no way it was fucking real! She brought a hand up to smack over her mouth, muffling the sounds of her laughter.

“Oh, fuck! This is it, huh? I’m finally cracking…”

She gasped out between giggles, the sentence only serving to make her laugh harder, tears falling to her lap. At a certain point, the feeling of tears pouring from her eyes shifted the laughter into something else. Her stomach ached from the strain and eventually, she was hiccuping out a mix of cackling sobs. Then, the laugher faded entirely and she was left sobbing, tears streaming down her face as she stayed hunched forward. Her shoulders shook with the force of it and she just gave in, refusing to fight the tears. It was all too much. Everything that had happened and was still happening… it weighed down on her and sapped her of any strength she had.

That thought caused the tears to slow a little. Sapped of strength. She couldn’t even cry anymore. Maybe… Maybe she just needed to accept it all and move on. Compartmentalize and view things objectively. Like a book she was reading. A switched flipped inside her and the tears stopped, leaving behind only a few streaks on her cheeks. She raised her head and took a deep breath, focusing on the wall. In that moment, she decided to let it all go. To relinquish any control she thought she may still have. All she could do was take everything one day at a time.

“Atsuko?”

Itachi questioned from beside her, and she slowly turned her head in the direction of the noise. It took a second for her to focus on his face, but when she did she noticed his eyebrows were drawn together in concern. He was propped up on his elbow now, peering up at her a little warily. She returned his expression with a sad smile. He had to have felt something similar all of those years ago. Maybe he still struggled with it. Their situations were completely different, but she would still ask him tomorrow how he managed to continue forward. How all of this made him _feel._

“I’m alright. This is just… well, it’s a lot. I never expected this is where my life would end up, ya know? Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to live past 18. Now…”

She let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head as she moved to place the empty bowl back on the nightstand.

“It’s just way more than I ever bargained for…”

She sighed, sliding down the bed to settle her head back against the pillow. She felt Itachi do the same, both of them staring up at the ceiling. There was about a foot of space between them so they could lay comfortably, arms folded across their chests. It reminded her of the couple times their training had ran rather late and they’d collapsed on the ground to stare up the stars. Sometimes in silence, sometimes Itachi would ask her one of those existential questions that left her reeling, but relaxed.

“I apologize if my request for you to take in Sasuke caused you any additional stress.”

Itachi replied, and Atsuko chuckled again, her eyes fluttering shut as she considered his words. He was such a kind boy. By leaps and bounds, his own situation was far worse. And here he was, apologizing to her for doing what he thought was best at the time.

“Stress isn’t the word. The kid has nearly given me several heart attacks… He’s so… Honestly, he’s incredible. His drive and focus and talent. It’s admirable. Even if you hadn’t made that request, I would have taken him in myself. You know that. So don’t apologize. I love him dearly, even if he makes me pull my hair out sometimes.”

Atsuko assured, smiling softly at the ceiling. Sasuke being missing… it was just another bump in the road. He would come back and she would scold him before wrapping him in her arms and smothering his cheeks with kisses. Just like she’d done when he was younger. Her heart ached at the thought… because Sasuke wasn’t a small child anymore. Granted, he was young. But maybe it wouldn’t be so easy. He’d made his choice in defecting. He was searching for power only Orochimaru could provide…

“I’ve… I’ve seen him grow. You did your best in helping him and I know he loves you.”

Itachi breathed out, like it was painful for him to say it. He probably hadn’t spoken frankly about Sasuke in years. But she knew he was the only person on the planet who truly understood her love for the boy. She wanted nothing more than to talk about everything that had happened… but she could barely keep her eyes open at this point. She hummed in reply.

“Thank you, Itachi. For that and for making sure he came home with me. You two… are the best things that ever happened to me.”

Atsuko sighed, just barely able to hear the sharp intake of breath from Itachi before her world turned to darkness and sleep took her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise upload again because I can't take any time off to save my life. I ended up being off of work for a few days so I'm several chapters ahead at this point, just thought I'd go ahead and upload this one. Don't worry though, Chapter 23 is still coming this Friday and Atsuko and Itachi will finally have their talk. Hope everyone enjoys! Also, MAJOR shoutout to Maid with Benefits by awolangel! Her characterization of the Akatsuki members really helped me out in this chapter and the next (as well as her idea for a centralized base shhh I'm ignoring canon a lil)


	23. Improv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs that Inspired this Chapter:
> 
> Be Calm - fun.
> 
> I Can't Handle Change - Roar
> 
> Take Your Time (Coming Home) - fun. 
> 
> What is and What Should Never Be - Led Zeppelin

“Fuck you, asshole! The boss said to leave her alone!”

Hidan shouted, the sound of his booming voice waking Atsuko instantly. Her eyes flew open and she sat straight up in the bed, gasping.

“Oh, c’mon Hidan. You all got to see her! If Itachi’s got a girl in there we at least wanna know what she looks like!”

The young voice from the previous night countered and Atsuko realized they must be standing directly outside of the bedroom door. Their voices were too close. She was still bleary eyed from sleep but she knew this wasn’t going to end well and, immediately, she turned to wake Itachi. Only to see he wasn’t lying in the bed next to her… great…

“It doesn’t fucking matter if you get to see her, ass face. She’s not going to want to look at that ugly mug of yours anyway!”

Hidan retorted, then another voice piped up. It contained an almost a childlike lilt and her eyes widened at the thought of more than one psycho trying to gain access to her.

“She won’t have to worry about Tobi’s face! Tobi has his mask on!”

Tobi cooed, followed by the faint sound of clapping hands.

“Oi, both of you, fuck off already!”

Hidan yelled and this only started another screaming match between the three men outside her room. Atsuko dropped her head back with a slight groan, unsure of how to proceed. She wanted nothing more than to stay as quiet as possible and avoid the three men outside her temporary room. Just hunker down and wait for Itachi to come back. But her body had another idea and she suddenly realized just how badly she had to pee… On top of that, she didn’t like the idea of waiting for her student to escort her everywhere, like some frail damsel. She remembered what Itachi had said, they’d been given the order to not hurt her. And, for whatever reason, Hidan actually seemed like he was guarding her door.

Her bladder sent another subtle reminder to her brain, letting her know it wouldn’t be much longer before it gave way and she pissed Itachi’s fucking bed. With a sigh, she decided to just rip the band-aid off.

“Uh, hey, Hidan?”

Atsuko called, wincing at the sound of her own voice as it filled the room. Suddenly, all of the voices on the other side of the door fell silent. That was until Hidan replied.

“Oh, the bitch is awake!”

He shouted through the door, even without being able to see him she knew he was wearing that shit eating smirk from last night. Atsuko rolled her eyes in response. What a lovely nickname.

“I… uh I need to use the restroom. Are you guarding the door or what?”

She asked, tilting her head to the side a little for a response. Carefully, she moved to drop her legs off the side of the bed, turning her body to face the door. There was a soft click and the door swung open slowly. The light pouring in from the hallway stung her eyes a little and she had to blink a couple times to take in the sight.

Standing just in the doorway was Hidan, but wearing considerably more clothing than she’d seen him in last night. He had his cloak on, but it was unzipped fairly low, displaying his toned chest. She also noticed he was wearing some kind of necklace with a pendant but she couldn’t determine what exactly it represented. He was, indeed, smirking at her and despite the fact that he’d scared her last night, she couldn’t help but admire his handsome face for a moment.

Beside Hidan was a man she hadn’t seen yet. Man was a strong word. He looked pretty young, maybe 18 or 19. His blonde hair was pulled into a high ponytail with long bangs covering one of his eyes. He looked at her a little stunned, his visible blue eye wide with his head cocked to the side. Honestly, he was easy on the eyes as well. But not in the same way Hidan was. The younger boy was cuter, a little more feminine.

There was one more person, lingering just over the blondes shoulder. She couldn’t tell what his face looked like because of the bright orange mask he was wearing. It had swirling black lines that centered in a single hole for his eye. He also tilted his head to the side and she assumed this had to be Tobi, the one who’d stated he was wearing his mask.

“Oh! She’s very pretty!”

Tobi suddenly exclaimed, his voice high pitched and childlike. He bounced a little on his feet and clapped his hands together. She noticed that even those were covered in a pair of dark, leather, gloves. Atsuko gave a shy smile at his comment, unsure of how to handle the energetic man-child. But Hidan stepped in and controlled the conversation for her.

“Yeah, yeah. Now get out of the way, assholes. Ladies gotta use the restroom!”

He commanded, shoving the two out of the way of the door and gesturing for Atsuko to walk past them into the hall. She didn’t need much more convincing to slide off the bed and head back towards the restroom from the previous night.

“Uh… Thanks, Hidan. Did Itachi leave you in charge of me or something?”

She asked, a little unnerved by the way the three men followed her down the hallway.

“Nah, Itachi said he had to head into town early this morning. Psycho here took it upon himself to stand outside your door like a damn sentry, hn.”

The blonde piped up from behind her and Atsuko let out a scoff at that. What the hell had possessed him to do such a thing? Even still, she was slightly grateful considering she may have woken up to a few peeping toms if Hidan hadn’t been there.

“Oi, asshole! If I hadn’t you and the freak would’ve broken into her room.”

Hidan fired back, and Atsuko couldn’t help but agree with him. She just couldn’t figure out his motivations for keeping them out. He’d almost jumped her in the shower the previous night himself… Maybe he was territorial and had already laid some kind of sick claim on her? She just couldn’t imagine he’d done it out of the kindness of his heart.

“So… I met Hidan last night. The one in the mask is Tobi… I heard you say your name through the door. But who are you?”

Atsuko asked as they reached the bathroom, turning to face the group again before heading inside. The blonde spoke up, flashing her a dazzling smile and jamming a thumb at himself.

“Deidara. Pleased to meet ya, hn!”

Deidara introduced and Atsuko nodded slowly, returning his smile with a soft one of her own.

“Nice to meet you as well. And you too, Tobi. Thank you for the compliment earlier. I’m Atsuko… Now, if you all don’t mind, I do need to use the restroom.”

She excused herself before ducking into the bathroom and locking the door behind her for extra measure. She let out a sigh and shuffled to the toilet. Aside from Hidan, the people she’d met so far weren’t terrible. Tobi was strange, but seemed sweet. Deidara didn’t seem totally deranged, and Kisame had gone as far as to step in and protect her during her confrontation with Hidan. Honestly, they just reminded her of other Shinobi. She decided that she would just view it that way from here on out. Treat them like anyone else and hope it didn’t get her killed.

After she’d finished using the restroom and splashing a little water on her face, she exited back into the hall. Only to find her little posse was still there, hanging around and waiting patiently for her to exit. She looked between the three men in mild shock.

“Oh. Uh, does anyone know when Itachi is supposed to be back?”

Atsuko asked, looking between the three men.

“Oh! Tobi knows! He said it would be this evening!”

Tobi piped up and Atsuko’s eyes widened at that. He’d left her with no warning. In a building full of criminals. Without asking anyone to watch over her. And he was going to be gone all day? That asshole… She sighed, bringing her fingers up to rub at her temples as she nodded.

“Fuck… okay, this evening… Thank you, Tobi… I suppose my next question is where I can find something to eat?”

She asked, and Hidan nodded, slinging an arm around her shoulders. It shocked Atsuko and she flinched, but he was quickly guiding her back down the hallway before she could even protest.

“There’s a fully stocked kitchen, babe!”

Hidan bragged and Atsuko flushed at the new nickname. Babe? Out of instinct, her thumb went to search for the ring on her left hand only to find it wasn’t there. Maybe Itachi had removed it as well and hidden it along with her Shinobi gear to prevent it from being stolen. Her heart sank, hoping that was the case and that she hadn’t lost it wandering around the forrest. Or when she’d fell… Her mouth dried out at the thought but before she could worry too much they were reaching the end of the hallway she’d been confined to since her stay here had begun.

With his arm still draped over her shoulders, Hidan steered her to a new room. A dining room, she realized. There was a large table in the center with several chairs scattered around it. Roughly 10 or so. At the head of the table sat a single chair with its back to a simple fireplace and she noticed the ceilings were high and vaulted. Briefly, she wondered just how big this base was and how this massive criminal organization had managed to stay off the radar for so long if they all communed here. There was another doorway on the other side of the table and Atsuko was lead through that as well. The lights in this room were brighter than anywhere else she’d been and she had to blink a few times to adjust. When her eyes focused she realized she was standing in a rather large kitchen. There was stove with 6 burners, a fridge with double doors, and several other appliances. Against a far wall, there was a rack of fresh produce and a slotted door to the left that Atsuko assumed was a pantry.

“See, babe. What’d I tell ya? Pretty bitchin’, huh?”

Hidan bragged, the arm looped around her shoulder tugging her a little closer to his side. The gesture and nickname made her skin crawl but he was right… it was a nice kitchen. A little stunned, she nodded and swallowed against the lump in her throat.

“Yeah, it’s nice… but I don’t want to impose? Are you sure it’s alright for me to make something to eat?”

Atsuko asked, and Hidan’s arm slipped from her shoulders to wrap around her waist. This was going too far for her liking, but she was nervous about how he would react if she openly rebuffed his advances. Especially since it seemed like Deidara and Tobi had followed them to the kitchen. She’d not only bruise his ego, but she’d do it in front of his comrades… not a smart idea when she didn’t know the caliber of person she was dealing with. So, she allowed his fingers to curl around her waist and grip her flesh a little too tightly.

“Yeah, it’s shouldn’t be an issue, hn. We’re usually not around long enough to eat all of this food anyway.”

Deidara piped up from behind them. She craned her head back a little to find him leaning against the door frame, arms crossed across his chest. Tobi had taken up residence at a small table in the kitchen, sitting in one of the two chairs and leaning it back on two legs, trying to keep it balanced by waving his arms around frantically. Atsuko nodded slowly, lightly wiggling from Hidan’s possessive grasp and feigning interest in the produce rack.

“Okay… well, let me make something for everyone then. Wouldn’t be fair for me to use your kitchen to cook and not have something to offer.”

Atsuko offered, pulling a few vegetables from the rack and turning to look at the three men for approval. Hidan had moved to lean against the small kitchen table, kicked back with a smug grin on his face.

“Oh, you have plenty to offer, babe.”

He purred and the hairs on the back of Atsuko’s neck stood at attention. Kisame wasn’t here to prevent anything from happening this time and she was still torn on how to respond to the silver headed man. Should she tease him back? Let him know she wasn’t the one to fuck with? Or remain polite and flustered? She didn’t know which one would work in putting him off… She’d given him a hard time the night before and that only seemed to peak his interest in her. So she ducked her head and opted not to respond, heading for the stove.

“Oh! That would be so nice, Ms Atsuko! Tobi is starvinggg~!”

Tobi cooed from his spot on the table, the front legs of his chair coming down to skid across the floor as he lost the battle with gravity. Her back was to him now, but she smiled a little nonetheless.

“Good… could you help me locate the pots and pans, Tobi?”

She asked, turning her head over her shoulder just in time to see the masked man bound from his chair in her direction. There was something… off about him. It wasn’t just the childlike enthusiasm, either. That was a cover for something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Something darker? Shit, he had to be just as bad as the others to get into an organization like this, right? He couldn’t just be some guy with the mental capacity of a 6 year old. Still, she remained calm when he approached her and peered over her shoulder at the vegetables she was laying out on the counter.

“Tobi would be happy to help! Pots and pans are in that cabinet!”

He gestured to a cabinet a few doors down from the oven and Atsuko immediately moved to investigate it. She gathered the things she would need and settled it all on the stove. Deciding to make herself at home, she went to check out the fridge situation as well. Gathering eggs and some frozen shrimp before moving back to the stove. Tobi lingered around her, peaking over her shoulder as she began to prepare everything she needed for the fried rice. It didn’t bother her as much as she thought it should… He seemed genuinely curious. It almost reminded of her of when Sasuke or Naruto would hover around the kitchen while she cooked, peaking at the stove and taking mental notes. She enjoyed the silence for a few moments, feeling the nervousness from earlier melt away. But the calm couldn’t last forever.

“So, like, are you Itachi’s girlfriend or something, hn?”

Deidara spoke up to fill the silence and approached the other side of the stove to lean against the counter. Atsuko looked up at him from the vegetables she was chopping and shook her head before turning back to them. She remembered what Itachi had told her regarding what she was supposed to say if anyone asked.

“No. We are from the same village, but I trained him when he was a child.”

She answered, turning to pour some oil into the large pan. Hopefully they wouldn’t ask anything more than that.

“You trained _him?_ Well damn, bitch, how old are you?”

Hidan demanded from where he leaned against the table behind her. Atsuko scoffed at that comment. He was calling her babe and pawing at her just 5 minutes ago. Now, when it seemed like she might be a little older than he thought, he was back to calling her bitch. Men…

“I’m 26. I was young myself when I started training Itachi. 15.”

Atsuko answered, peaking over her shoulder to throw Hidan a soft glare.

“You’re not supposed to ask a lady her age, in case you didn’t know.”

She quipped before turning back to the stove. Hidan scoffed.

“Yeah, well, all you bitches are sneaky anyway. Lying about your age and wearing makeup all the time. False advertising if you ask me.”

He huffed and Atsuko had to fight the urge to bite his head of for that comment. She rolled her eyes and went back to cooking, staring down at the pan as she stirred the rice around. What a temperamental, misogynistic, asshole.

“How old are you all?”

She asked, directing her question mostly at Deidara and Tobi.

“26! Just like you, Ms Atsuko!”

Tobi answered, leaning his elbow on the counter and bending over to rest his head in his upturned hand so he could see her face more clearly. She had no information to confirm this without being able to see his face, so she just took it as fact.

“19, hn.”

Deidara replied, and Atsuko nodded at this information. So he was just as young as she’d thought. No older than Itachi.

“What about you, asshole?”

She called over her shoulder to Hidan, only for him to spring up and strut over to the group as well. He wrapped his arms around her waist and Atsuko startled at the contact, dropping the spatula she was holding. She went completely rigid as he pressed into her back and dropped his head down to speak directly into her ear.

“22. But it really doesn’t matter, babe. I’ll be this young and hot forever. I’m immortal.”

He purred, and Atsuko swore she was going to get whiplash from his mood swings. Her face contorted in disgust at his close proximity but her ears perked up at his claim to immortality. Torn between actually finding the topic interesting and wanting him as far away from her as possible she dropped her hands to his, carefully peeling them off her front.

“Uh… ya know, Hidan. I would really love to hear more about that. Seriously. But could you please… let go of me? I’m engaged.”

She defended, not thinking the title would do much to sway him. But surprisingly, Deidara reached out a hand and shoved Hidan’s shoulder. For a brief moment, Atsuko swore she’d seen… teeth in the palm of his hand?

“Yeah, asshole! She wants you to leave her alone, hn!”

He shouted, and Hidan’s grip on her released immediately, turning to shove Deidara back. His push was much harder and it sent the blonde reeling back a couple steps.

“Fuck off, limp dick! What the fuck do you know about what she wants?”

Hidan roared, lunging and towering over Deidara in an instant. The blonde pushed up the sleeves of his robe, turning his palms upward with a dangerous smirk. Atsuko went wide eyed at the confrontation and the realization that those were definitely mouths on Deidara’s palms. The teeth there gnashed and a tongue shot out of the right one, laving over non-existent lips.

“She fucking said so, idiot!”

Deidara yelled back, stepping up to Hidan, challenging. The silver haired man stood about a head taller than the blonde and he peered down at him with nothing short of murderous intent. Atsuko panicked. This was the exact kind of thing she had been wanting to avoid. She could tuck tail and run right now. Beeline back for Itachi’s bedroom and avoid the coming fight… but they would only follow her. The only way she could think to resolve this was a scenario that made her stomach churn.

“What’re ya gonna do with those fucking disgusting hands of yours, huh? Gonna blow up the whole base, freak?”

Hidan challenged, bringing a hand up to shove Deidara’s chest again, but the blonde had found his footing and stood his ground.

“Yeah, I will! So back the fuck off, hn!”

Deidara replied, teeth snapping together as the mouths on the palms of his hands dipped into a bag he was wearing on his hip. He brought them out quickly and Atusko noticed they were chewing now… on what, she had no idea. But Hidan had said something about blowing up the base? This had to end. With a grimace, she stepped forward and placed a tentative hand on Hidan’s shoulder. His head spun in her direction, glaring and looking more than a little unhinged. She swallowed against the lump in her throat and forced a soft smile.

“Wait, Hidan. It’s alright, really. I lied. I’m not engaged… I just get kind of nervous around… around attractive men.”

Atsuko lied, bile building up in her throat. The blush on her face was caused from the intensity of the situation, but she hoped he would misread it as bashfulness. He narrowed his magenta eyes at her, trying to seek out any dishonesty in her expression. But, as she’d determined before, he wasn’t very bright. A predatory grin broke across his face and he immediately turned towards her, Deidara and their fight forgotten. Immediately, he crowded into her personal space, peering down at her as she backed up until her back hit the stove. He caged her in with his arms and leaned down until his nose brushed against hers. Atsuko could only look up in mild shock as he began to speak.

“Ah, so you think I’m attractive, do ya bitch? I knew it… the way you were flirting with me last night in the showers, then having the nerve to hide that sexy little body behind that fucking towel… just begging me to get all riled up, huh?”

He growled and Atsuko’s eyes darted down to the gap under his arm, planning a way to slip out of his cage. Before she could, however, Hidan’s thigh came up to press between her legs, effectively trapping her there. A gasp tore from her throat at the feeling and Hidan’s smirk only grew. Her eyes darted around him to see if anyone was coming to help her, but Tobi was gone. Likely having run off during Deidara and Hidan’s confrontation. The blonde was standing by, rolling his visible eye before heading for the kitchen door. Clearly, Hidan had no shame and Deidara was clearing out before he decided to fuck her right there in front of god and everyone. Panic rose in her chest at the thought.

She focused intently, trying to form the dark aura of chakra around her hands. She was still pretty weak, but she couldn’t let this continue. Maybe appealing to his pride had been the wrong idea, but she couldn’t really think of any other option at the time. The fight had been boiling over and Deidara was threatening to blow everyone up, for fucks sake! The familiar feeling of chakra encasing her palms caused her to refocus… This was drawing a line in the sand. If she placed him under a Genjutsu there was no telling how the other members would react. If she’d be allowed to live-

“Hidan. Let her go.”

A voice demanded from the doorway to the kitchen. Itachi, she realized. Her head peaked around Hidan’s arm to see Itachi and Kisame standing in the doorway. Itachi maintained that cool, unfazed, expression, but she noticed his Sharingan was present in both eyes, spinning slightly to indicate his agitation. Kisame had a grip on the handle of a sword that was strapped to his back, ready to pull the blade if the situation escalated.

“Fuck off, crow brains. The bitch is just fine right here. Isn’t that right, babe?”

Hidan asked, tilting his head down again but this time bringing his lips to ghost over the shell of her ear. Atsuko wiggled uncomfortably, trying to pull her head away from him and he finally seemed to take notice.

“You mistake me for a patient man. I don’t want to repeat myself.”

Itachi warned again, and Hidan pulled back a little to peer down at Atsuko, scanning her face again for any sign of betrayal. She wasn’t able to hide her displeasure this go around and he released her harshly. His thigh sliding out from it’s position slotted between her legs as he jerked his arms away from her. Atsuko immediately sank to her knees with a gasp as he turned his back and stormed out of the kitchen, but not before throwing Itachi a murderous glare.

“Whatever, she’s just a stupid fucking bitch anyway.”

He growled, the stomping of his feet still audible well after he’d left the kitchen. Atsuko dropped her head forward with a sigh as the threat of danger faded. Itachi crossed the kitchen, clicking the stove top off before offering her a hand to help her stand. She took it gratefully and rose back to her feet, dusting off her pants with shaky hands as she tried to return her breathing to normal. There were a few beats of silence as she averted her eyes from the two men. Everything she’d done this morning had been stupid and had lead her to the current situation. She should have just went straight back to Itachi’s room after using the bathroom…

“What happened?”  
  
Itachi questioned, effectively breaking the silence. She sighed, her hands sliding into the pockets of her sweatpants as she finally turned her head back up to look at him. Oh, he was angry. His eyebrows furrowed in an accusatory glare. If it was for her or Hidan, she couldn’t tell.

“Uh, I woke up and Hidan, Deidara and Tobi were arguing outside the bedroom door… I had to use the restroom and it seemed like Hidan was guarding the door… so, they let me out and Tobi told me you were going to be gone until this evening. So I asked about making something to eat and things just… spiraled out of control.”

She explained, feeling like a scolded child. She’d tried to bite off more than she could chew, clearly, and had to be rescued by Itachi and Kisame yet again.

“Sorry, it was really stupid of me to think I could… I don’t know. I should have just stayed in your room.”

She apologized, shaking her head a little and dropping her gaze back to the floor. It was embarrassing beyond belief. Everything that had happened in the last month had been one big shit-show and she was the center of all of it. She couldn’t seem to make the right decisions. Couldn’t get Sasuke back. Couldn’t manage to keep herself safe. Couldn’t heal her own wound. Couldn’t avoid all of the fucking psychos in this base.

Itachi sighed gently, his hand coming up to clasp her shoulder.

“No, I didn’t give you any warning that I was going to be leaving. And Hidan is a depraved idiot. I shouldn’t have left you here with them.”

He responded, sounding more than a little apologetic.

“Are you alright?”

He questioned, and Atsuko nodded immediately. She’d live. It’s not like Hidan was the first asshole to try something like that on her. But it was the first time she’d been truly scared to retaliate. It irked her to no end how helpless she’d been recently, but she tried to remind herself that everyone needed help sometimes and it didn’t make her weak to take what was being offered.

“Kisame, take her back to my room. I’ll finish your meal and bring it to you.”

Itachi stated, quickly moving past her towards the stove. Atsuko could only stare at him in mild shock before Kisame called from the door.

“C’mon, sweetheart.”

She obliged, moving to his side and following him out of the large kitchen. He didn’t say anything else as he guided her back to Itachi’s bedroom, but he did open the door for her. She ducked inside, immediately moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“Thank you, again, Kisame. For last night and just now… I’m sorry that I’ve caused so much trouble for you and Itachi.”

She apologized, turning her head up to look at the shark-like man. He only shrugged, flashing her that sharp toothed grin.

“Don’t worry about it, doll. These idiots haven’t seen a pretty woman in god knows how long. Things were bound to get a little hairy having one in the base.”

Atsuko actually blushed at his comment. He was so respectful and smooth that it flustered her a little.

“Well… thank you anyway. I’ll be out of your hair soon…”

She promised, and Kisame only hummed in acknowledgment before leaving the room and shutting the door behind him. Atsuko was left alone again and she moved to fully sit in the center of the bed, her legs crossed under her as she waited for Itachi to come back. Her nerves from the previous situation died down and she was left with just her thoughts as she waited.

Now that Itachi was back, she would be free to talk to him about Sasuke. About everything that had happened over the last 5 years. On top of the burning questions, she wanted to share stories with him as well. Tell him about the time Sasuke started a small forrest fire while trying to practice a new fire-style jutsu. About his smart-ass mouth and how he tried to act mysterious and tough, but she could still see that childlike curious glint in his eyes when Naruto was doing something stupid. Like he wanted to see how it would turn out, but would never admit it. She wanted to tell Itachi that Sasuke liked to cook and he would help her make dinner on occasion. That he was so incredibly talented but sometimes his ego swelled up too big for his own good and the universe had to humble him a little.

As she sat thinking about Sasuke and her life with him, her heart took up residence in her throat. All of those memories with him… Even the bad ones were good in hindsight because they’d moved past them. The thought that she’d never get to make any new ones with him rocked her to the core. Suddenly, she realized that was a very real possibility and tears welled in her eyes. Everything had felt wrong since he left. She felt like a husk of her former self, walking through the woods for a month drowning in devastating nothingness, accompanied by violent images that did little more than dry out her mouth. Disconnected… thats the word she was looking for. Her heart and soul had followed Sasuke right out of the village, leaving her with only vague remnants. Even the panic attack she’d had the day before had been more physical than emotional, her body feeling something she wasn’t aware of.

Itachi came into the room rather suddenly and she jumped at the intrusion, despite the fact that he opened the door slowly. He cradled two bowls in his hands, having helped himself to a portion of the food as well. When the door shut behind him, he handed her one of the bowls. Atsuko took it gratefully. She cradled the warm ceramic in both hands and pulled it to her chest, just to feel the heat seep into her skin.

“Thank you…”

She breathed, her stomach growling at the smell of the fried rice despite the anxious nausea that had consumed her not moments prior. Itachi pulled that chair back around, taking residence on the right side of the bed again. He sat down and held the bottom of the bowl in one elegant hand, his other immediately coming up to snatch the utensils. Atsuko watched him for a moment, unnerved by how poised his every movement was. The chopsticks didn’t slip in his grasp and he never put a little too much food in his mouth. It was like even something as simple as eating had to be planned down to the last detail. He’d been careful as a child, never too rough or clumsy, but he hadn’t been this disciplined.

Atsuko forced her eyes away from the scene and turned her attention to her own bowl, gratefully taking a few bites before deciding it was still best to go slow, not wanting to upset her stomach. She allowed the bowl to rest in her lap.

“We should get you out of here in the morning… if you feel well enough.”

Itachi commented, pulling Atsuko’s attention back to the dark haired man. She nodded in agreement.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. I’m just gonna… be able to walk free? Can’t imagine that would be good for business.”

She huffed humorlessly. Again, this entire situation was ridiculous. Itachi sighed, allowing his bowl to rest in his lap for a moment.

“Hm. Bringing you here was contingent upon one thing. If you were to leave alive, then we would need to make sure you couldn’t relay any of what you’d seen here.”

He replied, and again Atsuko nodded. She figured as much. It’s not like she would be allowed to return to the Hidden Leaf with any information regarding the Akatsuki. Granted, she hadn’t learned anything super valuable… Other than Hidan’s claim to immortality and Deidara’s mouth hands, she didn’t know anything about the other members and she had to assume there were others. Sasori, the one who’d healed her leg. Kakuzu… that was a name Hidan had muttered under his breath in the shower.

“How do you plan on doing that? A curse mark to prevent me from speaking on the subject? What about Inoichi and the interrogation team?”

She questioned, speaking rather frankly. To be perfectly honest, she didn’t want to share any of this information with the Hidden Leaf. Especially anything she knew regarding Itachi. It was selfish and down right treasonous, but she couldn’t help it. Her loyalty would always lie with Itachi and Sasuke before anyone else, no matter what they did.

“I believe… a curse mark would suffice. It would prevent you from speaking on anything you’d seen and erect a mental block to prevent them from gathering any information through other methods.”

Itachi mused, like he was turning it over in his head, looking for any gaps or cracks in the plan. Atsuko considered it as well. She knew specifically of a curse mark that would prevent her from speaking on certain subjects. But she wasn’t aware of one that would provide a mental block. However, it wasn’t beyond her to assume Itachi knew more about the subject than she did, so she accepted what he said with a nod. She turned back to her bowl, shoveling a couple more bites into her mouth. Another lull of silence filled the room before Itachi asked his next question.

“When I removed your Shinobi gear, I also took a diamond ring off your left hand… Did you get married?”

He asked, his tone a little lighter than normal. Atsuko smiled and swallowed the bite in her mouth quickly.

“Hmm, engaged.”

She answered, and Itachi’s lips quirked up at the corners slightly.

“Was it the man from Anbu? Your partner… Tenzo, I believe was his name…?”

He asked, and Atsuko shook her head, a chuckle working its way up her throat.

“No, actually. I figured you would know this if you’d managed to keep an eye on Sasuke all these years. I’m engaged to Kakashi Hatake.”

Atsuko said, the name sounding foreign on her lips after a month of being separated from him. It filled her with a strange mix of anger and longing, but she hadn’t considered him much since she’d left in pursuit of Sasuke. She still blamed him… however, she also missed his reassuring touches and silly jokes. The love he filled her with.

“Kakashi Hatake, huh…”

Itachi responded, taking another bite from his bowl as he mulled over the new information. Atsuko remembered Kakashi mentioned that he and Itachi had worked together in the Anbu. The slight twinkle in Itachi’s eye at the name of the Copy Ninja made her wonder just how close they’d been.

“He’s… a good man and the love of my life. But I have a hard time not blaming him for… well, shit, for a lot of what’s happened concerning Sasuke.”

Atsuko started, her eyes filtering back down to stare at the contents of her bowl for a moment as she considered why she thought that was important to say. She knew Itachi said they could talk today, but she still looked for his approval before continuing. She brought her head back up only to see him eyeing her with a questioning expression, so she took this as her cue to continue.

“He just… ever since he became Sasuke’s Jonin instructor, he’s been hiding things from me. During the Chunin Exams, Orochimaru placed a Cu-. Wait, is it even necessary for me to repeat the events? Or do you already know?”

She questioned, tilting her head to the side. Itachi nodded in response, slow and calculated.

“Hm. I am aware of the Curse Mark and the attack on the Hidden Leaf… between my own surveillance and Lord Third providing me with information, I’ve been able to keep a close eye on Sasuke over the years.”

He answered, and Atsuko’s eyes widened slightly at that new information. So, Lord Third had been actively providing Itachi with updates on Sasuke’s life and progress… The first thought she had was that she hoped he’d told the elder Uchiha brother that Sasuke was happy. Cared for. Loved. Her brow furrowed in thought and she continued.

“I… I don’t want to talk about my relationship problems, actually. Itachi, I have one question and then we can drop the subject if you’d like. But I believe I’m at least owed some answers.”

She stated, setting her face in determination. Digging through her mental files for the stern expression she would occasionally fix him with during training. One that said, ‘no bullshit, do it right this time’. There was a spark of recognition in his dark eyes and he let out a humorless chuckle as his head dipped forward, a curtain of dark hair blocking her view of his soft smile.

“I haven’t seen that face in quite some time…”

He sighed, bringing his head back up at the same time that the smile faltered, flattening back into that thin line. Atsuko managed to keep her expression the same, aside from a softening of her eyes. He looked so tired… His dark eyes used to be wide and full of curiosity, but now they were completely devoid of life. Glossy and distant as he was forced to recall the things he’d done. She couldn’t imagine that those images ever truly left him, but talking about something made it feel real again. She knew that from experience. Speaking atrocities out loud gave them a voice, something to latch onto in the physical world. He gave her a soft nod to continue with her question.

“I don’t… I don’t want you to tell me what happened that night. I don’t want to make you relive that if necessary… But, Itachi, I have to know what the end game is. Leaving Sasuke alive was a decision I understood at the time. At first I thought you spared him simply because you loved him. Then, he told me you trapped him in a Genjutsu. Made him relive it over and over and…”

She’d started off strong, but the last words caught in her throat, choking her. Atsuko remembered how Sasuke had seethed when he told her that, barely containing all of the rage and despair that lived in his tiny body. How he’d cried into her shoulder and the bile that had risen in her throat at the time as she shared his anger. Her eyes watered, but she managed to blink away the tears to continue.

“He told me that… and then the confrontation several weeks ago. The same. He was in a coma for two weeks, Itachi. I had to sit by his bedside for two weeks wondering if he would ever wake up… So, why? Why leave him alive only to torment him? The only way I could explain it was that you’re trying to push him. To fuel the hate he has for you so he will work to become stronger. Eventually tracking you down and killing you. I came to that conclusion several years ago and, with no other guidance, I’ve been allowing him to harbor that hatred. Supporting his goal of revenge but… is that what I was supposed to do?”

Atsuko finished, the words spilling out without restraint as her frustration grew. It dawned on her in that very moment that it didn’t fucking matter what Itachi wanted. All of this time, she’d been trying to do what she thought he wanted her to do in some twisted attempt at remaining close to him. Or maybe that was how she’d chosen to mourn his loss. But it was all painfully obvious now. Not telling Sasuke the truth when she’d had the opportunity was only going to cause him more heartache down the line… If she never managed to get him back and he found out through other means…

“When I made the choice to wipe out the Uchiha clan, I did it with the village’s best interest in mind.”

Itachi started, the low sound of his voice pulling Atsuko from her spiraling thoughts. Her eyes trained on his face, but he still just looked exhausted. His eyes were downcast, not meeting her gaze.

“The Hidden Leaf and what it represents is far greater than a single clan. I’m sure you understood the reasoning as soon as you were told the truth.”

He offered, turning his eyes up to meet her’s for a brief moment. Atsuko nodded in response. She had… But she’d been literally torn in half by the news. She understood that the Hidden Leaf was much more than just a village. It was a symbol of hope for the future of the Shinobi World. It had been the first of it’s kind. Lord First, Hashirama Senju, had managed to find peace and stable ground among waring clans after generations of fighting. Then the other villages had been built, following the pattern and working towards unity. Yes, there had been wars since then but it wasn’t like it used to be. The seed for peace had been planted and they just had to continue to nurture it. Generation after generation until the idea of unity fully actualized.

However, what had been done to the Uchiha clan was unforgivable in her eyes. This was state sanctioned genocide. The Uchiha had only begun to plan a coup d’etat after generations of oppression and prejudice. Instead of building a system that worked for everyone, the threat was just eliminated. No changes were made to the obviously corrupt system. An entire clan of people had ‘given their lives’ in the name of the greater good and they hadn’t even been afforded the justice of having their truth known. It was disgusting and the fire that burned inside Atsuko at the thought almost raged brighter than her loyalty to the village. In fact… it did.

“I understood the reasoning. However, someone needs to be held accountable for what happened.”

Atsuko replied.

“And I will be.”

Itachi answered immediately afterward. Her eyes widened as it all clicked into place. Itachi carried the weight of the genocide on his shoulders. Personally bearing the load and all of the blame. He believed that justice would be rightfully served if Sasuke were to strike him down. No one could ever know the truth, because it had to die with him. Even now, he was trying to protect the village. Maybe not the people who’d given him the direct order, but the innocent people who called the Hidden Leaf home. If the truth were ever to made widely known, there was no telling what would happen to the government system in the village. And if the distrust and anger caused an uprising, how long before neighboring villages started to overthrow their governments as well? Everything Lord First had built could crumble…

“So… I’m supposed to just allow Sasuke to kill you? That’s what would be best in the grand scheme of things?”

She questioned and Itachi made eye contact with her again.

“You know it is.”

He replied, voice even and stern. So few words had been said, but Atsuko was floored. Still, she couldn’t seem to stop the fire inside her from singeing her throat as her next words bubbled up.

“But that’s ridiculous, Itachi. Just like Sasuke, the people of the Hidden Leaf deserve to know the truth. What good is a government system that is built on lies? Why should the people follow leadership that would kill any amount of them for the sake of ‘keeping the peace’? If a government has to murder of its people in order to remain stable, then maybe it deserves to crumble. So something stronger can be erected in its place.”

Atsuko argued, her shoulders tensing and the veins in her neck protruding as her passion grew. Still, she managed to keep her voice low, never going above a hissing whisper. Itachi’s facial expression never changed during her outburst, but he did lean back in that wooden chair. His head dropped back and his eyes fluttered shut as he considered her words.

“I cannot argue with that. However, I will say that what you are proposing is short sighted. Who is to say that an uprising would result in a new government being put in place? If you take away their faith in the current system, why would anyone want to build a new one? You may also be surprised to know that most people do not share your sentiments on the Uchiha. An uprising on a large scale may not happen, even if the truth were to be made known. Most people would likely commend Lord Third for his bravery and foresight in taking out the Uchiha Clan.”

He responded evenly, but sounding more than a little bitter by the end. Atsuko’s heart rate increased with every word. Aside from the fact that it was the most Itachi had spoken since she’d woken up here, she knew he was right. She’d chosen to ignore the glares she’d get when heading towards the Uchiha property. Or the hushed whispers when she and Itachi walked through town together. The ire mostly came from older people, but she’d even been talked to on a couple occasions by people her age. They would ask whether or not she knew the truth about the Uchiha. That they were full of hatred and darkness. She’d always shut down those people immediately. After a few fights that resulted in bloodied noses for the unlucky bastards who’d decided to approach her, people stopped saying those things to her.

If the truth came out, the chances of it actually resulting in a successful regime change were slim to none. She let out a defeated sigh, her head dropping forward with the wind taken out of her sails.

“So, you understand now. The best option for the sake of the village and for Sasuke’s sake is to allow the story to remain as it is. Sasuke is working to become stronger as we speak. Though I dislike Orochimaru, I believe you should allow him to follow this path. When he’s strong enough, we will have our fight. He will kill me and be able to return to the Hidden Leaf. Fulfilled and finally able to seek out his own peace.”

Itachi finished, the softness returning to his voice as he spoke. The final sentence coming out a little dreamy. It was something they both wanted so badly they’d give their lives for it. Sasuke’s happiness. That idea sent a shiver down Atsuko’s spine followed by an immediate wave of relaxation. Allow Sasuke to follow his own path. Never allow him to learn the truth so he may have some chance at contentment. Before she had a chance to pick that apart, she accepted it. The only thing that brought her genuine comfort was the idea that Sasuke would allowed to live out his life. Get married. Have children. Lead a fulfilling life… If that meant that she would have to take this secret to her grave and that she would never see any real change in the Hidden Leaf… then she would do it for his sake.

“Finally able to seek out his own peace…”

She repeated, slowly lifting her head to look at Itachi again. He was watching her with a sad expression, but he nodded in agreement at her repetition.

“I care about your peace as well, Itachi.”

Atsuko added, her heart aching at the thought that his name would never be cleared. That he would die at the hands of the person he loved the most. But Itachi gave her a soft smile.

“I will find my peace in death.”

Itachi stated, and Atsuko’s heart broke again. However, she understood. Not only would he finally be free from the world that had hurt him so deeply, but Itachi would find peace in his death for a larger reason. His death would set Sasuke free as well. It would be his final sacrifice for his brother.

————————————————-

They shared the bed again that night, but it was decidedly less tense. Atsuko and Itachi had come to an understanding when they’d discussed Sasuke and Atsuko took Itachi’s words to heart. As she laid down to sleep, she’d mulled over what he’d said about allowing Sasuke to forge his own path. Logically, she knew the boy would never be able to find peace and fulfillment until he brought down Itachi. It would plague him for the rest of his life. On top of this, she knew that she could only provide him with so much training and Itachi had far surpassed her abilities long ago… Maybe with the assistance of Kakashi they could help Sasuke become strong enough to strike down his older brother, but she knew for sure that training under one of the Sanin would give him far better odds.

Itachi had made it clear that he wouldn’t simply allow Sasuke to kill him. He couldn’t. Sasuke had to believe it was his own power and abilities that had given him the upper hand or he wouldn’t receive any gratification from the fight. Itachi would have to play the bad guy until the very end, which meant not pulling any punches. He wouldn’t kill Sasuke, he’d assured her, but he couldn’t go easy on him in any way. It had to be real.

Atsuko stayed up most of the night considering this. In the long term, maybe bringing Sasuke back to the Hidden Leaf wouldn’t be what was best for him. He needed to do this on his own and, as much as she hated to admit it, she knew she couldn’t get him to where he needed to be power wise. The very idea of him spending more than 5 minutes alone with Orochimaru made her stomach twist in knots. She’d addressed this as well with Itachi, but he’d advised her that the Sanin wouldn’t hurt the boy. He wanted Sasuke to be his next vessel, but he’d had to transfer to another one prematurely and it would be almost 3 years before he was able to do so again. That meant Sasuke would be safe for the next 3 years. Steadily getting stronger. After that point, it may be time to step in and deal with Orochimaru. However, she knew Sasuke’s moral compass was strong and he would recognize how truly awful the Sanin was, so maybe he’d get out first. Get the training and power he came for, then escape.

At the very least, it bought them time. She knew she needed to return to the Hidden Leaf and advise of the missions failure. Tell everyone what Orochimaru was planning to do with Sasuke and let them know how much time he had left. She and Itachi had also discussed how to approach that situation. He would place the curse mark on her in the morning, but she knew she would need a medical evaluation after being gone so long. The village would find the mark, so she had to contrive a convincing story full of half truths while not raising any suspicion. She wasn’t technically a spy for either side. Itachi was an ally of Hidden Leaf, after all. But, the upper regime of the Village didn’t know this. So, they’d decided on the best way to shake any doubts.

Itachi woke her early the next morning. He was already dressed in his Akatsuki robe and let her know that it was just before 4:30 in the morning. Even though there were no windows in the room, she knew it was still dark outside. He’d left her to get dressed, laying out another Akatsuki cloak on the edge of the bed to cover her Shinobi gear in case anyone else in the base were to see her before they had a chance to duck outside. She’d redressed in silence, slipping her engagement ring back on her finger and staring at it for a moment before turning her attention to the bedroom. The bed had been neatly made as soon as she’d clambered out of it. The white sheets crisp with no wrinkles in sight. The whole room was so bare… with a soft sigh, she reached into the front pocket of her Shinobi vest. Her wallet was still there and she flipped open the worn leather with a smile.

Carefully, she plucked a weathered photo from the clear protector inside. It was from several years ago but every time she looked at it, her heart swelled like it had just been taken. She was standing behind Sasuke, a large grin on her face as the boy forced a pout. But the smirk was still visible in the small uptick at the corner of his lips and the shape of his eyes. Her hand was on top of his head, likely ruffling his hair as his arm gripped her wrist to pry her away. She had another copy at home, so she carefully slid the worn photo paper under Itachi’s pillow, hoping he would find some solace in the image.

When she finally exited the room, he was waiting for her in the hall. The based was deathly quiet and, out of habit, she looked down both ends of the hallway. Content that no one was awake to harass her, she turned her attention back to Itachi, only to see him holding a black slip of fabric in his hands. The blindfold from the other day. She sighed and stepped closer, allowing him to wordlessly tie the band around her head.

“Well, how am I supposed to walk wi-!”

Her sentence was cut off by a quiet gasp as she felt pressure on the back of her knees and another on her back. Itachi scooped her off her feet quickly, cradling her like a child. It surprised her, but she kept her hisses of protest to a minimum as he began walking. The sound of sandals on hardwood and Itachi’s breathing were the only things she could hear, echoing off the walls of the hideout as he moved her towards the exit.

“Here, Kisame. Take her.”

She heard Itachi request, then suddenly she was being transferred into a much thicker pair of arms. The smell of saltwater and a musky cologne filled her nostrils as she was tugged against Kisame’s wide chest. Being cradled by him made her feel much more dainty and she felt a blush cover her cheeks. Then the blue skinned man chuckled and his chest vibrated against her, his voice coming out in whispered puffs.

“Hey, sweetheart. Ya know, wish I was carrying ya over a threshold for a different reason. But I’ll take what I can get.”

Kisame joked and Atsuko giggled softly in response. He really was insanely charming and funny to boot.

“Maybe you could make good on that if my fiancé is ever out of the picture.”

Atsuko returned, humming slightly.

“Fiancé? Damn, all the pretty ones are already taken.”

Kisame immediately quipped back and then Itachi’s voice rang out.

“Enough. We should get moving.”

He sighed, clearly fed up by his partners antics. Kisame agreed however with a soft ‘yeah’ and suddenly, Atsuko was moving again. The last thing she heard before they set foot outside the base was the sound of a large door creaking open, then shutting softly behind them once the cool morning air hit her face.

With the blindfold on, she couldn’t tell how long they were walking. Itachi and Kisame were both pretty quiet, so she didn’t have much to occupy her mind aside from the occasional flirtatious comments Kisame would throw her way to make her chuckle. She eventually began to take comfort in the dangerous mans arms, her head resting gently against his chest after what she believed was about an hour of walking. She wondered where they would take her and how this curse mark jutsu would be performed. Then, she considered what it would be like to return to the village… so many things had changed in such a short amount of time. Her heart had changed, she realized. Her ideals were more grey than ever, moral compass spinning wildly and never giving her a true answer.

In the short time she’d spent with the Akatsuki members, she’d had an epiphany of sorts. The members of the Akatsuki she’d met had been kind and even likable. Deidara had stood up to Hidan for her and Tobi’s childlike energy had been a welcome breath of fresh air when everything else had felt so serious. Kisame’s flirtatious attitude and seemingly genuine care and concern had been a shock in and of itself. She was incredibly grateful to the man who’d healed her leg as well, Sasori. Even if he only did it for the payment and she’d never seen what he looked like. Hidan was a complete and total asshole, sure, but even he’d had this strange charm. The experience had helped her realize that this world wasn’t full of strictly good and bad. There were middle grounds and even people who did bad things were capable of good deeds and possessing decent hearts. However, when the time finally came for her to take a stand against the group, she would without hesitation.

The conclusion she had come to regarding Sasuke was a different matter entirely. The time she’d spent talking to Itachi had helped her see the light. Their conversations always provided her clarity, even when he was young. She knew she would have to return to the village and allow things to run their course. Her heart ached from the loss, but she had to set aside her selfish feelings regarding Sasuke running away from the village. Deep down, she knew this would be his best chance at achieving his goals and she couldn’t rightfully take that from him. Not when succeeding was the only thing that kept him moving forward and the only thing that stood between him and true contentment. It would be painful, but she could handle it for his sake. For Itachi’s sake.

As these thoughts swirled in her head, she felt her eyes growing heavy and her breathing evening out. Kisame had been silent for a while and the cool wind wiping gently at her face as they ran combined with the warmth from his body had her fading quickly. Before she could fight the urge, she’d dozed off just as the first glimmers of sunlight began to illuminate the dark material of her blindfold.

——————————————-

When Atsuko woke up, she was in a bed and a window directly in her line of sight let her know that it was dark outside again. Immediately, she sat up with a light gasp, her head whipping around the room to try to determine just where the hell she was. Quickly, she realized it was single bedroom with a small nightstand and a dresser, but not much else. A hotel room maybe? On the nightstand was a folded up piece of paper and she snatched it up immediately, using the lamp to read the scrawled writing.

‘ _Atsuko,_

_I apologize for the abrupt change in location. I decided it was best to keep you asleep during our journey and through the curse mark process… We have checked you into a hotel room and paid for a 3 night stay. As far as your location, you are still in the Land of Fire and several days walk from the Hidden Leaf. You should be able to get a map from the front desk._

_Since this will likely be the last time you will hear from me before everything is settled, I would like to say that I am sorry for what I’ve put you through over the years. I know Sasuke has spent the last few years deeply loved and that he will be loved until you depart from this world. Thank you for that._

_I would also like to thank you for everything you did for me in my youth. If there is a single person left on this planet who truly understands my feelings and thoughts, it is you. I am grateful for the time we were able to spend together, in the past and in recent days. Sharing our thoughts on a subject always allowed me to make better sense of things, and I know you share that sentiment._

_Farewell, for the final time, Atusko-sensei. I hope you are able to find your peace as well._

_Love, Itachi’_

As Atsuko read the final line of the letter, her eyes welled with hot tears. In the blink of an eye, he was gone again. For the second time, she wasn’t able to say goodbye. She clutched the letter tightly to her chest, the paper wrinkling in her iron grip. There were some feelings that words failed to describe, and this was definitely one of them. When she cried this time, the part of her that mourned his loss was almost non-existent. Rather, these tears felt healing. Like she was finally releasing some nameless emotion she’d been carrying since the Uchiha Massacre. Acceptance washed over her in waves and, at some point, the tears dried.

Slowly, she pulled herself from the hotel bed and padded over to where her Shinobi vest had been draped across a rickety chair. Producing a lighter from the front pocket, she padded over to the small bathroom in the room. She flicked the lights on and hovered over the sink.

“Farewell, Itachi…”

She breathed to no one but herself as she held the flame of the lighter to the corner of the letter. She dropped the flaming note into the sink and watched as the fire swelled, before burning out and leaving behind only a small cluttering of ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright boys. We have 2 chapters left before the time skip to Shippuden and I have a terrible feeling that what is coming next is going to be terribly controversial. DONT KILL ME BUT ITS GONNA HURT (like I have cried myself just writing the next two chapters). I believe I am going to create another posting entirely for the story during Shippuden, simply because this one is so massive and I don't want to scare off future readers with any higher of a word count. Also, I have the next two chapters finished. SO, I have a question. 
> 
> Would you all like me to just post the rest of it this weekend? Chapters 24 and 25! Then I can come back with the First chapter of the Shippuden story next week? Let me know!


	24. Roam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Depression
> 
> Songs that Inspired this Chapter:
> 
> The Beer - Kimya Dawson
> 
> Closer - The Tiny
> 
> Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons
> 
> Nobody's Fault but Mine - Led Zeppelin

Atsuko spent the next three days in bed. Everything that had happened over the last month settled into her bones all at once. She found herself aching and sore, unable to move as the weight of it crushed her. There was no TV or radio in the hotel room and she rotted away in total silence. Occasionally, tears would slip down her cheeks, washing away some of the grease that was building up on her skin. She would only leave the bed to use the restroom and drink a glass of water from the tap. Mostly, she just alternated between staring at the ceiling or wall and sleeping.

She knew what this was, having experienced it throughout her entire life. Her mother had just said she was a ‘sensitive child’ when Atsuko had complained about being too sad to go to class. Or when she’d laid in bed crying all night for no reason in particular. As Atsuko matured into adulthood, however, she knew these were depressive episodes. Some were more severe than others and, nowadays, they usually had to be triggered by something significant, but it was the same every time. Her body would ache, her chest would feel hollow, and she’d crawl into bed as the hours creeped by, turning to days. There were only a few occasions in recent years where things had been this bad. Lord Third’s death and three more random occasions that had left her out of commission for several days each time.

Usually, she’d be forced from the bed to tend to some urgent matter, but she couldn’t seem to find a reason to continue forward now. Sasuke was gone and she knew she was going to stop searching for him. She’d decided that during her discussions with Itachi. Then, there was Kakashi. She hadn’t considered him much recently, but she’d been thinking about him an awful lot in the last three days. Thinking about how he’d kept things from her and how he didn’t respect her. The idea of returning home and acting like everything was fine between them made her stomach churn. Sasuke had left the village for many reasons, Atsuko logically knew this. However, when she thought about Kakashi’s face or his voice, this undeniable anger settled in her stomach. A building of bile and venom that she couldn’t control no matter how many times she tried to talk herself through it. She blamed him and she likely would for a long, long, time.

The morning of the fourth day, there was a knock on her door. The front desk manager, advising her it was past check out time. Atsuko forced herself from bed, her stomach growling loudly as she moved for the first time in 12 hours. All of the lights were off in the room and as she approached the door, she realized the last thing she wanted to do was to speak to another person right now. The mere idea of hammering out the details of her paying for a few more nights made her sick. On top of that, she knew she needed to keep some of the money she had so she could buy some food for her walk back to the Hidden Leaf. With a sigh, she replied,

“Thank you… I’ll be out within the hour.”

Her own voice surprised her. The gravely sound was foreign as it hit her ears and she shuddered involuntarily. The front desk manager offered a curt ‘alright’ before Atsuko heard her footsteps retreat down the hallway. Begrudgingly, Atsuko headed for the bathroom to shower. It was necessary but she had to physically fight the urge to slide a wad of cash under the bedroom door for the manager and crawl back into bed. She was so tired… but before she allowed herself to entertain the thoughts, she stripped down and stepped into the shower, intentionally leaving the water ice cold to wake her up. It worked and her eyes widened immediately, hissing at the cold water but forcing her body to remain situated under the stream until goosebumps had erupted across her whole body. Gritting her teeth, she continued her cold shower. As she ran soap over her body, feeling the sweat and grease schlep off her in layers, she noticed how thin she’d gotten over the last month. Her once soft stomach was flat, the bottoms of her ribs jutting up against her skin. She ran her fingers over the bone and a shiver ran up her spine. Her thighs had shrunk in size as well and when Atsuko finally stepped out of the shower, she was able to really take in her appearance in the body length mirror on the back of the bathroom door.

She was thinner all around, she realized. There was a slight gap between her thighs and even her chest had shrunk in size a little. Her collarbone was more prominent and the hollow of her throat deeper. When she got to her face, her heart sank. Shockingly dark circles had begun to form under her eyes and her cheeks were more hollowed out. She’d certainly seen worse in people who were truly starving and emaciated, but the sudden change in appearance shocked her. It dawned on her just how poorly she’d been taking care of herself during her search for Sasuke. Then, out of curiosity, she stuck her tongue out in the mirror. Unsurprisingly, the curse mark Itachi had promised to place on her was prominent against the pink muscle. Black ink tattooed across the length her tongue, insuring her silence regarding the Akatsuki and likely regarding the truth about Itachi as well. It should have been more jarring, but Atsuko only sighed and pulled her eyes away from the mirror, moving to tug on the sweatpants and sweatshirt Itachi had allowed her to keep.

As she padded around the hotel room collecting her personal items, she grabbed her backpack, opting to fold up her Jonin vest and Shinobi head band, sliding the objects into the bag. After lacing up her sandals, she went to pull on her fingerless gloves, only for the material to catch on her engagement ring. Bile rose in her throat again as she stared down at the diamond. It felt more like a shackle at this point. Chaining her to a life on the back burner. A reminder of the family she’d once had. She realized she was already thinking of Kakashi in the past tense and her blood ran cold for a brief moment before she scoffed and ripped the offending object from her finger. She stuffed it into the backpack as well, not taking any care in wrapping it up or keeping it separate from the other mess in the bag.

When she finally exited the hotel, she snatched a map from a rack of pamphlets in the lobby. Unfolding it as she emerged on the streets of this small town, her eyes trained on the paper as she quickly worked out her location. Itachi’s letter had been correct, it would take about five days of walking to get back to the Hidden Leaf, but she was still in the Land of Fire. She stopped at a couple shops on her way of the tourist town, buying a cheap pair of pants and a shirt to change into if her sweats become too hot or dirty. Then, a small grocery store to grab a few non perishable food items for her journey. Despite the fact that she hadn’t eaten in three days, she couldn’t really bring herself to do so now. The thought of food just making her stomach churn. After loading up on the essentials, she took the road leading out of town and started her walk home.

————————————————-

Atsuko found herself in a small outpost town 3 days later. It was the only stop on her way to the village where she could shower and get a decent nights rest that didn’t involve sleeping on the unforgiving ground. By the time she arrived, she was fresh out of what little food and water she’d purchased for her trip. It was the perfect opportunity to stop and take a break. Restock, get some rest, and start the final leg of her journey early in the morning. It was around dinner time when she strolled into the town and she quickly found a bar that had rooms for rent. After speaking with the bartender and renting the room, she helped herself to a warm shower, sighing at the feeling of the hot water easing her sore muscles. Once she was clean, she exited and pulled on the clothing she’d purchased earlier in the week. A pair of simple, black, pants and black turtleneck.

Her stomach growled and she decided to hit the local shops in the morning. The bar downstairs had smelled of beer and comfort foods and, for the first time in a while, Atsuko actually found herself craving a warm meal. She headed back down to the main room and saddled up on one of the stools at the bar. The building was fairly empty. Just a few people nestled into booths across the room, clearly regulars that came here to drink themselves into a stupor, only to be kicked out at closing. Despite the fact that this place was clearly a dive bar, it was surprisingly clean. The wooden top of the bar was polished to near perfection and the floors were devoid of any dirt or dust. She wondered if this was because the barkeep was meticulous or if it was because they didn’t draw enough customers to actually make a mess. Before she could consider it too deeply, the bartender was standing in front of her, drying out a glass.

She was a tall woman with her auburn hair pulled up into a mess ponytail. She flashed Atsuko a wry grin, a literal glint in her eye.

“Hey darling, you find the room to your liking?”

She questioned, and Atsuko nodded with a tired smile.

“Yes, I did. Thank you.”

Atsuko confirmed and the bartender gave a curt nod in response, still smiling as she turned to place the now dry glass on a rack behind her. When she turned back around, Atsuko noticed her nametag read ‘Himari’.

“Good to hear. We don’t see too many people from out of town in here, so I’m just glad that dusty old room is getting some use. Now, can I get you something to drink? Something to eat?’

Himari asked and Atsuko nodded again, placing her order for a shot of their cheapest liquor, two beers and whatever Himari recommended from the kitchen. The woman slid a shot of amber liquor and two bottles of the hoppy beverage in front of her before she disappeared through a curtain behind the bar to what Atsuko assumed was a small kitchen. She downed the shot and finished her first bottle rather quickly, the alcohol on an empty stomach already making her a little lightheaded as it spread through her body. There was a radio at the end of the bar to her left, not too loud but it was close enough that she could hear the music clearly. Some twangy ballad about lost love and heartbreak that caused her to scoff into her beer bottle. It was almost comical, the way everything in her life felt like one of those shitty drama/romance novels Kakashi read from time to time. Here she was, devoid of purpose and parked on a stool in some dive bar, drinking to forget her hardships. Just like the song described.

It was irritating as all hell. The way she felt so empty and couldn't bring her mind to form a single coherent thought over the course of the last week. Thinking about Kakashi only made her angry and thinking about Sasuke only reminded her of the hole in her chest. The feeling, or lack thereof, wasn’t unfamiliar. It reminded her of the years she’d spent drinking herself to near death. Jaded but feeling as if there was nothing she could do to actually change the situation. It was all so pointless and she wanted nothing more than to fucking feel something. Anything that reminded her that she was still alive. But instead, she just aimlessly meandered back home. Where nothing was waiting for her except an empty house and a man she resented.

She was about halfway through her second bottle when the bell on the front door rang out and, out of curiosity, she turned her head to see who’d entered the bar. When her glossy eyes registered the forms, she let out a soft groan, dropping her head forward to rest in the palm of her hand. Of course she would run into him of all fucking people. In that moment, she felt like the universe was laughing at her. Throwing her one last hurdle to overcome before she could get home and fucking rest. She tried to avoid them, but it was too late and she’d already made eye contact with the magenta eyed man and his partner.

“Oh! Heya look at that Kakazu, that’s the bitch I was telling you about!”

Hidan shouted, entirely too loud in the small, quiet, bar. Atsuko sighed, begrudgingly lifting her head up as Hidan took up residence on the barstool directly next to her. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was wearing his Akatsuki robe, unzipped just enough to reveal his chest. His silver hair was still slicked back and the smirk he fixed her with made her stomach knot in a mixture of disgust and… attraction? She couldn’t be sure. The only thing different about him now was the massive blood red scythe strapped to his back.

Sitting on the other side of Hidan was another man from the Akatsuki, but one she’d never met. Kakazu, Hidan had called him. He was older than any of the other members she’d met and he wore a mask that covered the entire lower half of his face, similar to Kakashi. For a brief moment, he glanced at her and she noticed the whites of his eyes weren’t white at all, but rather red, surrounding a pale green iris with no discernible pupil. Even with his scratched out Shinobi headband covering his forehead, she noticed the way his eyebrows pulled down and wrinkled into a scowl. Honestly, just his energy sent a chill up her spine.

“The one who caused all of that trouble back at the base. Yes, I am aware.”

Kakazu huffed, his deep voice barely audible over the sound of a small radio sitting on the bar to Atsuko’s left. She let out another sigh, reaching for her bottle and tipping it back to swallow the rest of it’s contents quickly. She wasn’t leaving this seat without her food and she wasn’t ready to quit drinking yet.

“What is this, Hidan? Are you all following me now?”

Atsuko asked, finally turning in her seat to look at the grey haired man directly. He let out a scoff and shook his head.

“Don’t flatter yourself, bitch. We have better shit to do than follow your dumb ass. This meeting is just a happy little coincidence. We’re out hunting down a bounty.”

Hidan responded, that smug smile on his face ever present, making her stomach twist into tight knots. She glanced over his shoulder to get confirmation from Kakazu, but he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation anymore. Instead, he was jotting down something in a small black notebook. Suddenly, Himari popped back out from the kitchen with a smile.

“I thought I heard the door. Sorry, dear, looks like your food is gonna be another few minutes. You want another drink?”

Himari asked, and Atsuko nodded immediately, holding up two fingers. The bartender complied and slid two more beer bottles in front of her before turning her attention to the new ‘customers’.

“And how can I help you gentlemen?”

She questioned, like the giant red scythe and the green eyes didn’t disturb her in the slightest. Kakazu asked for the same as Atusko, two beers while Hidan went for a glass of scotch and whatever tasted the best from the kitchen. Himari set them up with their drinks and headed straight back for the kitchen, leaving the three of them to talk.

“Nice ass on that one. Bet she’d make the perfect sacrifice.”

Hidan muttered to no one but himself, and Atsuko quirked a brow at that, anger rising in her chest immediately at the implications but opting to just leave it alone. She didn’t really have the time or energy to deal with whatever the fuck he was talking about regarding a ‘sacrifice’. It likely had something to do with the immortality he’d mentioned in the kitchen. Rather than demand to know what the hell he was talking about, she took another swig of her beer.

“Why’d ya skip out so quick, babe? I had all sorts of fun activities planned for us.”

Hidan questioned as he took a drink of the amber liquid in his glass. Atsuko raised an eyebrow at this, turning slightly to face him again.

“I’m sure you did… but it’s not like I was a recruit or anything. I’ve got a life to get back to.”

She informed him and he nodded in response.

“Ah, that little fiancé of yours, right? Or was that all bullshit?”

He patronized and Atsuko shrugged, taking another drink from her bottle.

“Maybe it was. Guess I’ll find out when I get home. Why do you care anyway?”

She asked, unable to stop herself from talking to the man. The alcohol was relaxing her but aside from that she couldn’t help but feel… drawn to him in a strange way. His vulgar mouth and disarming, confident, smirk mesmerized her a little. She found herself wanting his attention. Her brain and body worked in direct contrast of one another. On one side, she knew he was a pig. A murdering fucking pig. But, on the flip side, she found herself sitting up straighter and her body moving towards his unconsciously. Fucking ridiculous. Maybe she was just pent up from almost 2 months of abstinence and the alcohol was hitting her harder than she’d intended. But the way his eyes roamed over her in random intervals didn’t make her feel gross anymore. It made her feel normal again. Wanted. _Good._

“Really, I don’t give a fuck. Just think it’s a damn shame we didn’t get to spend some more alone time together, babe.”

Hidan purred, clearly only concerned with having one type of conversation. Only speaking to her with one goal in mind. She fought against the images that flooded her head and the way her body warmed at what he was implying.

“Can’t stop thinking with your dick for more than 10 seconds, huh?”

Atsuko quipped, breaking the eye contact and turning to stare straight ahead at the shelves of liquor on the wall behind the bar. From down the line, she heard Kakazu give a harsh scoof. Hidan must have thought he was getting somewhere with her, because he tensed immediately and spat out his retort, turning away as well.

“Oh whatever, bitch. You’re just mad you never got a piece.”

Hidan said, honest to god anger in his voice despite Atsuko’s distant tone. That response actually angered her because he was fucking _right._ She was only being this dismissive and rude because she was angry at herself for wanting him in this moment.

“Fuck you, asshole.”

She responded, a little more ire this time. Hidan scoffed immediately, taking a sip from his glass.

“What the fuck happened to the sweet little innocent act, huh? Offering to make us something to eat and flirting with me? You were acting like the perfect little house bitch, cooking and cleaning and just _begging_ to be fucked.”

Hidan fired back, the obscenities falling from his lips like venom. It made her sick but, against her will, her body reacted more positively. She was slowly beginning to fell the alcohol, past tipsy but not quite drunk. Her head swam a little and she grasped the beer bottle in her fist tightly. It was entirely unfair that she couldn’t help but admire his handsome face and the exposed part of his toned chest even when he was demeaning her in such a way. Even after the stunt he’d pulled at the base. Even when she didn’t know a single goddamn thing about the guy other than that he had a filthy mouth and an even filthier mind. She bristled at the memory, managing a scoff.

“Just like you said, it was an act. I was doing what I thought I had to do so you crazy assholes wouldn’t kill me. Now? I don’t care. Kill me if you want.”

She grumbled out the last bit, taking another swig from her bottle. Her brow furrowed as the words registered, but they didn’t evoke any emotion. So, maybe she really didn’t care. Those words were her last bits of defense, sharp and meant to keep him away from her. But it didn’t seem to work. Suddenly, Hidan draped his arm over her shoulder, letting out a warm chuckle as his breath puffed against her ear. Her body tensed immediately, but a thick blush covered her cheeks at the contact. God, he was warm… warm and right here, pressed against her side and whispering in her ear. The touch ignited a fire in her stomach. It was the first real thing she’d felt in days and her heart stuttered a tattoo against her ribcage, mouth drying out as shock mixed with an arousal she had no control over.

“Why the fuck would I kill such a fine piece of ass?”

His question was meant to go unanswered. Still, the way he practically growled it into her ear made Atsuko’s thighs squeeze together involuntarily. She tried to find it within herself to be angry. To push him away and storm off to her hotel room. But the alcohol was flooding her brain and the warmth of his body against hers was almost as intoxicating. Fuck, why did she feel like this all of the sudden? Desperation? Self sabotage? Before she could discern the root of the problem and address it, Hidan’s large hand was sliding down her spine, pressing firmly against the small of her back and forcing her even closer to him. Her mind went completely blank and, in that moment, she was a slave to her body. To the feelings he was eliciting from her. Her brain flooded with positive chemicals and she knew it was over before he even breathed his next words.

“ _C’mon_. I see that cute little blush on your cheeks, bitch. Know you want it just as bad as I do…”

He purred, hot breath fanning against the side of her face as he whispered into her ear. His voice dropping an octave sent a shiver down her spine, one she was was unable to hide. Hidan let out a dark chuckle and Atsuko squeezed her eyes shut as every ounce of self control and respect she had left her body in an instant. She felt herself nodding before she had a chance to stop it, Hidan taking that as his cue and leaning in to nip at her earlobe with his teeth. Atsuko jumped in her seat, but the feeling had sent a wave of fresh arousal through her and she let out a shuddering breath in response.

“There we go… You got a room?”

——————————————-

Atsuko was standing in the bathroom of her small hotel room, staring at her reflection in the mirror. It wasn’t her anymore, but the girl looking back at her felt awfully familiar. The ghost of someone she once knew. Her fingers danced across her neck and collarbone, wisping gently over the finger-shaped bruises that were forming around her throat and the love bites that littered her skin. A few were starting to turn purple already and a little dried blood was sticking to some of the deeper ones. She hissed when her fingers brushed over one of the open wounds, the stinging burn of inflamed flesh causing a couple hot tears to well in her eyes.

She bit down on her bottom lip, chapped and tattered from kisses that involved entirely too much teeth. Her eyes squeezed shut and she fought the tears, managing to swallow them down bitterly before sighing and reaching for the faucet, turning the water on. Wetting a rag, she carefully dabbed at some of the dried blood above her collarbone, hissing but the minor wounds felt much better after being cleaned. Then, she moved to wipe away the evidence of the coupling from between her legs, wincing again at the rawness. Once she’d wiped away the thin sheen of dried sweat from the rest of her body, she turned to pull her underwear back on and the undershirt she’d been wearing before he had ripped it from her body.

Sparing one more glance in the mirror only resulted in her tearing her eyes from her reflection when her stomach churned. She dropped to her knees immediately, hunching over the toilet bowl and emptying the sparse contents of her stomach. She heaved for a few more seconds, her chest aching immediately from the force of her gags. When she felt like the wave had passed, she flushed the toilet and remained seated on the cool tile of the bathroom floor. So disgusted with herself that she’d quite literally vomited at the sight of her own reflection. At the fresh memory of his hands on her skin, gripping tightly and nails digging into her flesh. His teeth pressing into the junction of her shoulder and his hand wrapping around her throat… It had been brutal and seemingly never-ending. The obscenities that he’d rasped out as he sheathed himself inside her over and over again. The degrading names and growls he’d let out when she’d tightened around him, drawing him closer and begging for _more._

The exact second her orgasm had washed over her, she’d been disgusted with the man looming over her. With herself for getting off on such abusive treatment. As her high had jolted through her, she physically felt the final nail being buried into the coffin of her relationship. While he had finished himself off, her head lolled to the side, staring at the backpack in the corner of the room that contained her engagement ring. The bed slammed against the wall a few more times and it was over. As soon as he’d slipped himself from her, she’d crawled out of the bed and shut herself in the bathroom.

Slowly, she pulled herself from her seated position and rinsed her mouth of the taste of stomach acid and beer with a handful of tap water. She spit the water and spit mixture back into the sink, watching it slowly slip down the drain as an eerie allegory. Swallowing the lump in her throat and running her hands over the goosebumps on her forearms, she reached out to open the bathroom door only to be immediately met with the smell of sex. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as the man in her bed called out.

“Hey, babe… you all cleaned up and ready for round two?”

Hidan purred, but the voice that had captivated her an hour ago only made the urge to vomit rise in her throat again. Bile burned at her esophagus and she had to clear her throat before she responded.

“No, Hidan. You should leave.”

She mumbled, heading straight for her backpack and digging through a side pocket until she produced the other little habit she’d decided to pick up in the last week. A worn pack of cigarettes rested in her hands and she pulled one out with shaking fingers, heading straight for the other side of the room. She opened the window harshly, the panel sliding up and slamming against the frame with a loud BANG. Hidan’s eyes never left her and she heard the squeaking of mattress springs as he presumably pulled himself from the bed. She lit the cigarette nestled between her middle and pointer finger, her hands stopping their incessant shaking as soon as she took the first drag. She’d hoped Hidan had left the bed to collect his clothing and leave. But she heard his footsteps approaching her, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist from behind. It made her skin crawl and she immediately shrugged out of his grasp, turning to glare at him.

“I told you to get the fuck out.”

She hissed, barring her teeth as her smoking hand was swallowed whole by her signature dark purple chakra. He took a step back, raising his hands in defeat.

“Damn, bitch, alright. Thought we had a good time… You weren’t telling me to get the fuck out when I was balls-!”

She cut off his vulgar words as she lunged for him, her fist coming up to smack against his face. The sickening crack of his nose breaking filled the room and blood began to pour down his jaw immediately. He reeled back, eyes wide in shock as his hand came up to feel the busted appendage. Then, a stomach churning grin broke across his face and he turned his head to spit blood onto the hardwood floor.

“Fucking hell, if you were into this kind of shit you should have just let me know.”

He purred, trying to approach her again as lust grew in his eyes. It was Atsuko’s turn to look at him in shock, her eyes wide and nostrils flaring. What the fuck was wrong with this guy?

“Hidan! Get the fuck out! I’m not fucking kidding. If you lay another fucking finger on me I will kill you.”

She spat, the cigarette in her fingers having burnt to ash. It singed her finger and she hissed, tossing the offending object out of the window before coating both her hands in the thick purple aura. Hidan’s eyes flickered between her hands and her face momentarily, trying to decide it was worth it to push the subject. Eventually he gave up and turned his back to her with a scoff. He hurled obscenities at her as he collected his clothes, but Atsuko managed to stay standing by the window, her hands lowering as he got dressed and headed for the door.

“Whatever, at least I got off.”

His final words rang out before he was stepping into the hall and slamming the door behind him. Atsuko sighed, her shoulders sagging as the high strung tension left her body. She clumsily pulled another cigarette from the pack that was resting on the windowsill, immediately lighting it and taking refuge in the way it warmed her throat.

She’d found it difficult to sleep that night and even more difficult to pull herself from bed the next morning. Her entire body was sore and she wanted nothing more than to wallow in her self inflicted misery. However, she knew she needed to get back home. Especially after what had happened last night. So, she managed to collect her things and leave the small town in her dust in record time. The next two days were spent walking and trying her hardest not to think about Hidan. About how easily he’d wormed through the crack in her armor and gotten her to submit to her base desires. It made her sick to her stomach and despite the time that passed, the obvious marks on her body hadn’t healed much. When she got back to the village, Kakashi would be there. He would see them. And she’d have to tell him what she’d done.

Then again, it’s not like it mattered much either way. She knew that she’d given up on him a long time ago. From the moment she’d left the village, really. Seeing him, standing in that hospital hallway looking at her with pity and concern had forced her hand. When she thought back on the look he’d fixed her with, it made her lungs burn with words left unsaid. How dare he look at her like that? Like he was sorry for her fucking loss? When it was his fault in the first place.

These feelings festered inside her for the entire duration of her journey home. She would filter between fury and shame then back again. Atsuko knew that the notable increase in her ire was a defense mechanism. She was desperately trying to justify her disgusting actions by telling herself that her relationship with Kakashi had been over from the moment she left the Hidden Leaf. From the moment Sasuke ran away. It was wrong, but she tried to force those introspective thought to the back of her mind, choosing to only focus on the anger inside her, even if it was more directed at herself as this point. She continued to trudge forward with the intent of burning her entire life to cinder. Self-sabotage, her brain would squeak out. Fuck that, she’d respond.

When she reached the front gate of the village, a chill ran up her spine despite the sun hanging high in the sky, bright and warm. She had half a mind to tuck tail and run. There really wasn’t anything left for her here and she couldn’t imagine what was drawing her back. Her relationship with Kakashi was over, Sasuke was gone… but then she remembered Tenzo smiling at her. Iruka blushing at some slightly risqué joke she’d made. Lady Tsunade asking her, of all people, to join Shikaku Nara in being her advisor. Jiraiya and their budding father/daughter relationship. It was small and fleeting, but the little bit of hope that resided in her flickered on and spurred her forward.

Genma was guarding the front gate again and as Atsuko passed over the threshold, he yelled immediately to whoever else had been stuck with guard duty that day.

“Hey! Atsuko’s back!”

Atsuko’s head turned in the direction of his voice, but she didn’t offer him her typical smile. Just cocking her head to side, confused as to why he was so animated about her return. Sure, she’d been gone for a while but… then she remembered, the messenger hawk Tsunade had been sending to her once a week. It had been at least 2 weeks since her last update… Shit, they’d probably thought she was dead.

There was rustling from a tree behind the guard station and, in the literal blink of an eye, Tenzo was standing directly in front of her. His normally massive eyes were wrenched impossibly wider in shock as he stared down at her. When Atsuko moved past the shock and met his eyes, her heart shattered into a thousand pieces and all of the air was forced from her lungs in a shaky gasp. All of the apathy and misguided anger melted away in an instant and she reached for him with shaky hands. Tenzo covered the distance in two, long strides and wrapped his arms around her as she collapsed against him, a mess of choking sobs and whimpers.

—————————————————

“Sorry dear. I know it isn’t pleasant but you’ve been gone for a while with no updates so we need to check you out.”

Hatsu advised, her voice low and calming as she approached the hospital bed Atsuko was currently sitting on the edge of. The blonde haired nurse had quickly offered to be the one to run Atsuko’s post mission check up after Tenzo had escorted her to the hospital. Genma had left his position to Izumo, rushing to inform Lady Tsunade and Kakashi of her return. Things were already moving too quickly and she was taking refuge inside the sterile walls of the too bright hospital room. The calm before the storm.

She nodded numbly in response to Hatsu’s words and the nurse took that as her cue to approach Atsuko. Tenzo was standing in the room as well, he back pressed against the door as he took the position of sentry, making sure no one would invade her privacy in this moment. He’d wanted to stand guard outside, but Atsuko had practically begged him to stay, not wanting to be left alone. Hatsu began by pressing a stethoscope to Atsuko’s chest, instructing her to breathe in and out until she’d gotten all the information she needed. Seeming content with her results, she moved to place two tentative fingers on Atsuko’s throat to check her pulse. When she pulled the turtle neck down to get a better angle, the bruise around her throat came into full view and Hatsu’s eyes widened slightly.

“You’re hurt… and there’s more. Could you remove your top for me?”

Hatsu questioned, pulling her fingers back from Atsuko’s throat. Her stomach churned violently at the request, but she managed to swallow the bile and nod. Carefully, she pulled the shirt from her body, leaving her in nothing but a dirty white tank top. The marks were in plain view now. Finger shaped bruises around her throat that were starting to yellow at the edge. Hickies and bite marks littering her shoulders and neck, some already faded and the couple that had broken the skin scabbed over. Atsuko desperately avoided Hatsu’s eyes, turning her gaze up towards the ceiling to prevent any tears from falling. She made the mistake of jerking her head to the side when Hatsu’s fingers brushed over a particularly nasty bite, hissing in pain and scrunching her eyes shut.

“These bruises and bites… they’re human. I know it’s difficult, but I need you to be honest with me. Were you assaulted?”

Hatsu asked, the hint of genuine concern in her soft voice despite trying to remain professional. Atsuko opened her eyes to respond, only to see Tenzo staring back at her, wide eyed and eyebrows knitted together in nothing short of barely contained fury. When they made eye contact, his gaze softened slightly and she noticed the way his adams apple bobbed against the material of his shirt, swallowing down the same bile that had risen in her throat moments prior. She peeled her gaze away from his and hung her head in shame.

“No… They’re from… it was consensual.”

Atsuko answered, quiet and shameful. Hatsu’s job was to remain impartial so all she allowed herself to do was release a slightly relieved exhale. Out of the corner of her eye, Atsuko saw Tenzo’s faced switch from one of anger to one of astonishment, eyebrows furrowed and hurt. However, she fought the urge to explain herself and against the tears stinging in her eyes, allowing Hatsu to continue her check up.

There was another lull of silence as she was poked and prodded at. That was until Hatsu requested to Atsuko to stick out her tongue so she could view her throat. She obliged, though revealing the curse mark imprinted there didn’t concern her as much as the marks littering her neck and chest had. Hatsu’s eyes widened again as the seal came into view and she asked the first question in several minutes.

“This is new, right? It’s a curse mark of some kind?”

She questioned, allowing Atsuko to retract her tongue back into her mouth to answer.

“Yes, it’s new. Though I can’t disclose the details of it to you, I’m sorry… security.”

Atsuko replied, ducking her head slightly but Hatsu was already nodding, accepting.

“Of course… other than that everything else seems to check out. I’ll give you two some privacy until Lady Fifth arrives…”

The blonde stated, checking a few more boxes on her clipboard before placing a reassuring hand on Atsuko’s shoulder and giving her a gentle yet meaningful look. Atsuko forced a sad smile, nodding in confirmation and then Hatsu was slipping from the room.

As soon as Tenzo shut the door behind him, he was moving to stand in front of her. Atsuko kept her head ducked, not able to look up and meet his eyes. But he didn’t allow this to deter him, simply sinking to his knees in front of her, forcing the eye contact he needed for this conversation. A tentative hand came up to rest on her clothed knee and she relished in the warmth for a brief second, pretending for just a moment that none of this was real. That things were like they used to be and they were huddled in their favorite booth in the back corner of the bar they frequented. The warm, dim, lighting combined with the alcohol making life so much easier. Making her nerves melt into something akin to peace. His hand smacking her knee as he laughed at a stupid joke she’d made…

“Atsuko.”

Tenzo spoke up, removing his hand as he finally got her attention. She looked up at him through heavy eyelids, drained and empty in the harsh lighting of the clinical room.

“What the hell happened?”

He asked, unable to stop the way his words hissed out. Accusatory. She recalled that she’d left the village without a word to anyone other than Kakashi and Tsunade. Tenzo looked almost angry, his hands coming up to cage her legs in by gripping the hospital sheets at her sides with brutalizing force. She couldn’t bring herself to be surprised. Of course he was angry. She leaves for a month and a half without saying a word to him. Then, she comes back covered in bruises with a curse mark on her tongue. Not explaining at all. Just sobbing into his arms as he carried her to the hospital. She blinked slowly, having to force herself to focus on the man in front of her, throat contracting painfully at the sight of his pained expression.

“I… a lot. It’s a long story and I’d rather not tell it twice.”

She answered, voice scratchy and raw. He let out a long suffering sigh at this response, deflating and dropping his head into her lap, arms winding around her waist. Atsuko’s eyes widened at the gesture, raising her hands and keeping them elevated in the air, unsure of what to do.

“It can wait then… until they get here. I’m just so relieved you’re okay.”

He whispered, breath fanning against her thighs as he turned his head to the side, eyes scrunching shut and gripping her more tightly, like she’d slip through his fingers if he didn’t keep a tight hold. Atsuko finally brought her hands down, one rubbing the top of his back and the other brushing through his short brown hair. She’d always known that Tenzo had never really moved on from her. He showed he still loved her through action alone. She’d always opted to ignore it. The gentle touches and hugs that lasted a little too long, his nose burying in her hair and inhaling her scent. But now, as he held onto her like a lifeline, she wasn’t able to ignore it. Suddenly, it didn’t feel right. Maybe it was just everything she’d been through, but a sickly chill ran up her spine as the sight of the man with his face buried in her lap and she immediately removed her hands from him.

“Uh… Tenzo, I’m sorry but could you please… get off of me?”

She asked quietly, and his eyes flew open as he jerked himself upright, breaking all contact with her body in an instant. He blinked a couple times, like he’d forgotten where he was for a moment. Forgotten that she wasn’t his to hold in such a manner. He rose from his position on his knees, head bowed.

“Sorry about that… I just- I missed you, is all. Everyone has been really worried. We thought Kakashi was gonna burn the village down when he found out you hadn’t sent any updates in over a week…”

Tenzo stated, letting out a humorless chuckled before his eyes darted to the marks on her skin. His brow furrowed, face scrunching up like he was in pain from just looking at them. Atsuko’s stomach lurched at the mention of Kakashi. At the thought that he was apparently so upset by her absence that his outburst had been an issue. While she was stuffing the ring he’d given her to the bottom of her bag. While she was dragging her nails down Hidan’s back…

“I… Atsuko, are those really… Shit, I’m just gonna ask. Did someone take advantage of you?”

He questioned, concern etched into his features. Slowly, Atsuko shook her head, letting out a sigh through her nose.

“No… like I said, it was consensual.”

She responded, head dropping to stare down at her lap. It was the total truth. She’d been severely emotionally compromised and slightly tipsy, but at a certain point she had to take responsibility for her own actions. It would be easy to lie. To just say that one of the criminals in the Akatsuki had taken her against her will. But she couldn’t accuse anyone of something they didn’t do. It wasn’t right and it wouldn’t sit well in her heart.

Tenzo let out a sigh as well, running his fingers back through his hair.

“Are you… are you going to tell Kakashi that?”

He asked and Atsuko nodded immediately, turning her head up to lock eyes with him. Nostrils flaring. She was tired of this conversation already and of course she was going to tell Kakashi. Not that it was any fucking business of Tenzo’s what she told him. A sudden surge of anger coursed through her veins. There were far more important things that had happened while she was gone. Her time spent at the Akatsuki hideout. Her revelation about Sasuke and Itachi. The soul searching her talk with Itachi had brought on. But all anyone wanted to talk about was the idiot she’d fucked. Then, she realized that was all she’d be able to talk about with the curse mark on her tongue.

“I may be a whore, but I’m not a liar, Tenzo.”

She spat back, Tenzo’s eyes going wide and face morphing to apologetic immediately. He moved to reach for her, to apologize. But before he could get the chance, the door to the hospital room was creaking open. Both of their heads spun to see who was entering the room and Atsuko’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach in an instant.

As the door swung open, it revealed Kakashi standing in the entry way, his visible eye wide and disbelieving. He was standing straight up, a stark contrast to his normally relaxed posture. For a brief second, Atsuko thought he was going to cry. There was tense silence as their eyes met. She’d been so angry at him while she was gone, but when she was confronted with him for the first time in a month and a half, her resolve crumbled. She could never be angry at him. Not for long, anyway. The distance had made her forget how at peace she felt when he was near her. When he was just in the same room as her. Tears started to well in her eyes and he rushed her immediately, taking two long steps and wrapping his arms around her in a crushing grip.

She felt him bury his masked nose in her hair as he moved to sit on the bed next to her, his long arms holding her tightly against his chest. Her hands came up, gripping his vest in tight fists as the tears finally came and she sobbed openly against him. The way they were clinging to each other was desperate. Like they couldn’t get close enough. His distinct smell filled her nose. That mix of bergamot and moss cologne he wore combined with the faintest hint of wet dog. The familiar smell only caused her to cry harder, gasping for air as she buried her face even further into his chest. His hand moved to stroke her hair, shushing in an attempt to calm her down.

“Hey… I’m here.”

He whispered into her hair, the feeling of his lips moving causing the mask to tickle her scalp in a familiar way. Everything felt better for a few moments. She was crying, yes, but it was due to the sheer amount of overwhelming emotion that had filled her at seeing Kakashi for the first time in a long while. Just being here in his arms, however, felt like he was holding her together. Keeping her from breaking into a million pieces and scattering in the wind. Incoherently and without prompt, Atsuko sobbed out “I’m so sorry. I missed you so much. I love you.” over and over against his vest and Kakashi responded with “It’s okay… I love you too.”

Eventually, she calmed down, her breathing returning to normal as she only shuddered against him. When it seemed like the waterworks had passed, Kakashi pulled back slightly so he could see her face, the hand previously stroking her hair coming around to cup her jaw. When she met his visible eye again, she quickly found herself drowning in the dark pool of his iris in total awe.

“I’m so glad you’re safe…”

He whispered, his eye fluttering shut as he moved to press his forehead against hers. Atsuko gripped him tighter, pressing against his forehead in return, trying her hardest to memorize the lines of his face in this moment. Everything would be okay if she could just stay like this… right here, in his arms.

Then, a sharp pain stabbed at her heart as his fingers brushed over one of the teeth shaped bruises on her neck. He pulled back slowly, one hand cradling her jaw as his finger stayed in place. He looked down at the injury and then met her eyes again, his own filled with a silent fury. She knew he was making the same assumption Hatsu and Tenzo had, but her eyes went wide. It was already happening and she really wasn’t ready to lose him. If she let him go now she’d never get the chance to hold him again.

“Atsuko…”

Kakashi sighed, questions burning his throat as the air between them grew so thick she could barely draw in a ragged breath, and the tears welled in her eyes again. Atsuko wasn’t sure what to say, her mouth just hanging open as the grip on his vest loosened, fingers sliding down his chest and withdrawing to her lap.

“Kakashi… I-“

Before she could finish her sentence, the hospital room door opened again. Atsuko tore her eyes away from Kakashi, only to see Lady Tsunade herself standing in the doorway. When she met the elder woman’s gaze, Atsuko’s blood ran cool. She was livid, finger raised and prepared to yell. Then, Kakashi moved out of the way and Tsunade’s eyes fell to Atsuko’s gaunt form. Her sunken face and battered neckline. She dropped her hand instantly, eyes softening with concern as she moved into the room and shut the door behind her.

“What the hell happened?”

Was all she asked before Kakashi pulled away finally. All three of them being in the room, staring at her expectantly made her feel incredibly small. Kakashi brought a hand up, rubbing her back gently as a form of encouragement, but it only served to make her break out in a cold sweat.

“I… I got hurt.”

She started, not missing the way Kakashi’s hand on her back tensed immediately. However, Tsunade only gave her an encouraging nod to continue.

“When I left the village I summoned Kasumi to help me track Sasuke. We set out heading west. You have my updates from those first couple weeks so I’ll just start with why I stopped replying… Kasumi let me know that even after a month of moving, we… we hadn’t gotten any closer to Sasuke.”

Atsuko struggled with that last sentence, swallowing hard against the lump in her throat.

“So, you didn’t come into contact with Orochimaru at all?”

Tsunade questioned, and Atsuko shook her head in reply.

“No… Kasumi told me that I needed to return to the Hidden Leaf or at least stop at an outpost town to rest and regroup but I decided to just go it alone. I released the summons and, without her nose, I wasn’t 100% sure where I was. We were deep in the forest at this point and we’d only been traveling at night. So, the next morning I climbed a tree to try and get a look at my surroundings, see if there was anything near by but I had ran out of food rations a few days prior. When I got to the top, between the altitude change and my empty stomach, I fainted and fell.”

There was another lull as Atsuko suddenly felt very ashamed about how she’d ended up in her current position. Just before leaving the village she’d sworn to Kakashi and Tsunade that she would set her emotions aside to work diligently towards bringing Sasuke home. That she’d remain professional. But she’d been so emotional that she wasn’t thinking logically. Not stopping for food or rest like she should have, resulting in that fall. Kakashi sucked in a sharp breath and Atsuko noticed the way he and Tsunade made concerned eye contact over her shoulder.

They had every right to be concerned. To share an ‘I told you so’ expression. But it still caused Atsuko’s blood to boil momentarily. She was so sick and tired of being weak…

“So… I fell. When I woke up, my left leg was shattered. Compound fracture, blood everywhere. I managed to haul myself to a small cave I’d slept in the night before. I set the bone and wrapped it in a splint with what I had and I figured it would be best to wait for the messenger hawk to come back but… I couldn’t stay awake. Lack of food and water and the pain, probably a concussion as well… A couple days went by and I just thought that I was going to die there.”

She continued, pushing aside her anger so she could finish the report. At her last sentence, Kakashi leaned forward and pressed a masked kiss to the top of her head, drawing in a deep breath against her hair. Her skin crawled but she proceeded.

“After a couple days, I woke up and someone was picking me up off the ground, hauling me out of the cave. Before I passed out again, I heard Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha discussing who was going to carry me.”

Everyone in the room balked at that. Tenzo’s eyes went wide and Tsunade’s mouth dropped open slightly, her eyebrows knitted together in a scrutinizing glare.

“Dear… are you sure you weren’t delirious?”

Kakashi asked from behind her, and she shook her head, unable to look back at his face.

“No. It was them. When I woke up… I was blindfolded, so I couldn’t really make out where I was. Just that I was lying in a bed. There were voices… Kisame identified himself to me then somebody came to heal my leg-“

She stopped, leaning over to roll up her pant leg to show the group. She hadn’t really had a chance to look at it since Sasori had healed it, but there was a jagged scar down the side of her calf where the bone had broken through.

“After my leg was healed, they took the blindfold off. I saw Itachi and Kisame with my own eyes.”

Atsuko promised, and everyone exchanged strange looks. Ranging from disbelief to downright confusion.

“I spent a couple days with them but… I can’t really talk about it. Itachi put a curse mark on my tongue.”

She added, stretching her tongue out to show the room the black mark. Tsunade approached quickly, gripping the pink muscle with no shame, examining it closely. Atsuko sputtered, able to taste her fingers and something that reminded her of pen ink.

“I’ve seen one of these before… if you start to talk about something you shouldn’t, your throat will swell shut until you pass out.”

Tsunade observed, clearly studying the specific lines before releasing her tongue and stepping back, arms folding under her heavy chest.

“If they didn’t want you talk about the time you spent with them, why are you able to tell us who rescued you in the first place?”

She questioned and Atsuko shrugged.

“I don’t know the specifics of the mark. Itachi just said he would be placing one on me, then he put me to sleep. That and some sort of jutsu to erect a mental block so Inoichi’s methods wouldn’t work. I saw… other members of their organization. I believe I am able to speak about Kisame and Itachi a little because we already knew they were members of the Akatsuki. The other ones I met… maybe they don’t want me to identify them.”

Atsuko suggested, and Tsunade nodded in agreement, face screwing up as she considered what was said.

“It’s plausible. Can you tell us anything about where they kept you?”

She asked, eyebrows furrowed as Atsuko shook her head.

“No, I don’t think so… I was in a room the majority of the time and they made sure I had no idea where we were location wise… It was like a massive b-.”

Atsuko was trying to push the boundaries of the mark, testing the limits of what she could say. As she began to talk about the Akatsuki base, however, she felt her throat constrict like someone had their hand around it. The force of the contraction stopped her mid sentence and she found all of the air had been forced from her lungs. After a couple seconds, the feeling eased up and she gasped for air, Kakashi’s hand patting her back to open her airways back up.

Atsuko’s hand gripped her throat and she shook her head, wincing when the fresh oxygen burned her esophagus.

“No… I’m sorry I suppose that’s all I can say.”

She coughed out, shaking her head as Kakashi continued his ministrations on her back. Once she’d regained her breath, she continued.

“Like I said, Itachi put me to sleep then, when I woke up, I was in a hotel room about a five day walk from the Hidden Leaf and I had the curse mark. I don’t remember anything from the trip or how long it took us to get there. I’m sorry…”

She dropped her head forward at the end, trying her best to play up the regret and make the lie convincing. It was partially true, and she couldn’t tell them some things even if she wanted to. However, when it came to Itachi, she had no desire to tell Tsunade or anyone about his movements. Even if they found a way to remove the curse mark she had decided to refuse to speak about him and the things they’d discussed. Out of respect for what she considered to be his final request from her. To allow the situation with Sasuke to unfold the way he intended.

“It’s alright, Atusko. It’s not like your mission was to gather intel on the Akatsuki… So, from the hotel you walked back?”

Tsunade questioned, and Atsuko nodded, pulling her head back up.

“Yes… I stayed in the hotel they’d left me in for three days just… uh, resting before the walk back.”

She covered, not wanting to admit she’d been deep in the throws of a depressive episode. But Kakashi’s hand on her back stilled for a moment and Tenzo’s eyebrows knitted together in concern. They both knew why she’d really stayed there that long.

“Okay… That’s enough for now, I believe. We’ll have you write up an official report in a few days once you’ve had a chance to settle back in… but, I do have one more question. The… marks on your neck, Atsuko. Can you tell us where the came from?”  
  
Tsunade asked with a little hesitance. Atsuko knew this question was coming and she swallowed against the boulder in her throat. Lying to protect Itachi had been a breeze. Talking about this, however, was the part she was dreading. She wished she could have this conversation in private. With Kakashi. But she knew she would have to include it in her report either way, considering that she was still technically on the mission during her trek back home. Still, she tried to wiggle out of the questioning.

“Frankly, Lady Fifth, it’s personal. However, because I would like to give as much information as I can… they did come from an Akatsuki member.”

Atsuko answered, hoping that including that piece of information would save her from any more questions. It also sounded like she was actively trying to cooperate. Then, Kakashi’s hand on her back balled into a fist, bunching up the material of her shirt as she felt the fury in him rise from behind her. Even without looking at him, the anger was clear and palpable in the air. Tsunade gave a slow nod, looking over her shoulder as Kakashi with concern.

“Atsuko, I understand if you don’t wish to speak on the specifics but I need to ask this for the sake of the report and to determine if we should allow you to participate in any further investigation regarding the Akatsuki… were you assaulted?”

Tsunade asked, and Atsuko’s heart sank. It was the third time she’d been asked that question and she was sure that’s exactly what it looked like. The marks weren’t pretty and, in all honesty, the sex had been rather violent. She hadn’t had trouble answering it before, but now Kakashi was in the room and she would have to admit her sin. Not just to him, in the privacy of her home. But in front of the Hokage and one of his closest friends. And she’d put herself in a position where she couldn’t lie, no matter how badly she wanted to ditch her morals and do so now. Her head dropped forward and she swallowed against the vomit threatening to rise from her throat.

“No, ma’am. I was not assaulted.”

Atsuko said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Atsuko, I know it may difficult but I need you to be honest here. With me and with yourself…”

Tsunade encouraged, stepping forward and reaching a tentative hand out, placing it softly on Atsuko’s shoulder. She forced her head back up to make eye contact with the brown eyed woman, her bottom lip trembling but all of the honesty in the world sitting in her own eyes.

“I was not assaulted. It was consensual.”

Atsuko answered, and the whole room went deadly quiet. Slowly, she felt Kakashi’s hand retreat from her back. The loss of the warmth almost caused her to break right then and there. When he pulled away, shifting slightly on the mattress behind her, it felt like he was pulling a piece of her soul back with him. Like the cosmic string that held them together had been cut. Her eyes squeezed shut, tight enough that little stars popped in her vision, her whole body cringing with the weight of what she’d done.

Tsuande’s hand on her shoulder slowly slid down her arm, a gentle caress meant to be a comforting motion. Atsuko knew she didn’t deserve the gesture. No one should pity her for the situation she’d put herself in. But she also wasn’t sure what response she was expecting.

“We will leave you two alone… Atsuko, in a few days when you’re feeling up to it, please come see me. Tenzo, let’s go.”

Tsunade stated, voice falling curt and commanding at the end. Atsuko couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes, but she did hear the pair leave the room, the door shutting behind them. Now, she was alone with Kakashi and the tears came. Immediately, she scolded herself internally. She had no right to cry in this situation. This situation was entirely her fault and she knew that. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to turn to Kakashi and explain. She had no right to do that either. Her hand came up to cover her mouth, biting down on the meat of her thumb to try and quell the tears and the sob that lived in her throat, begging to be let free.

Even now, Atsuko had no idea why she’d done what she did. She just remembered being so angry and hurt. Despite everything, she was still angry with him for what happened with Sasuke. She still held resentment towards him for the events that lead to this. However, when she’d seen him for the first time in over a month, it had forced everything into perspective. She’d built up her anger in her own head, like picking at a scab and only serving to make the wound worse. Infected. Festering. But seeing him made her realize exactly what she’d been doing. Self-sabotage. She couldn’t stand the idea of going home and having to unpack all of those slights. Couldn’t bare to return empty handed, wounded, and have to admit that he had been right. So, she’d unconsciously made sure that she wouldn’t have to do any of those things. She slept with Hidan to insure that her relationship with Kakashi was beyond repair.

After this realization and a few more moments of tense silence, she couldn’t stop the hiccuping breath she took.

“Kakashi, I-“

But he cut her off, his hand resuming its place on her back. When he spoke, his voice was calm and even.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK! I'm so so worried about posting this chapter tbh. I hope that I have built up Atsuko's character enough for everyone to not immediately hate her after this. Cheating is NEVER okay and I don't expect her to be afforded any sympathy or pity, but please give my girl a chance at redemption. She's STRUGGLING. I hope it came across as sad as I wanted it to be. Anyway, final chapter will either be uploaded at some point tonight or tomorrow morning. I love everyone who has stuck with this story so far and I hope to see you all in the second part!


	25. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs that Inspired this Chapter:
> 
> The Night We Met - Lord Huron
> 
> No Children - The Mountain Goats
> 
> Barren - Nicole Dollanganger

The walk home was rife with tension and silence. Atsuko could hear the way Kakashi’s teeth were grinding together, his jaw flexing with the need to speak. However, she still couldn’t get a good read on what he was feeling. His arm was draped across her shoulders, tugging her against his side as they moved. Then, she’d glanced up and see the way his jaw was clenched, hearing his heart pounding in his chest. But his visible eye was relaxed… a little sad, but relaxed. These conflicting signals cause the panic to rise in her.

Making Kakashi truly angry was a difficult feat. She couldn’t recall a single time he’d raised his voice at her or Sasuke. Or anyone for that matter. They didn’t argue often, but when they did he remained calm and rational. But she wondered if this incident would be the one to push him past his breaking point. Or if the discussion she had planned would be the straw that broke the camels back… Even with her emotions running rampant, Atsuko knew how this was going to end. How she wanted it to end.

When they approached the house, Atsuko’s feet began to feel like they were made of lead. Heavy and taking significant strength to pull them from the ground. As the front porch came into view, her chest tightened. She’d have to enter that home, surrounded by loss, for the second time. When her mother had died and the house had been left to her, Atsuko had been unable to sleep in either bedroom for weeks. Curled up on the couch to avoid any memories or having to deal with her mothers personal effects. Now, she’d have to cross the threshold into darkness again. Sasuke wouldn’t be sitting at the kitchen table doing his school work. He wouldn’t be in the backyard practicing jutsu. She couldn’t peak her head into his room at night to catch a glimpse of the sleeping boy.

Her stomach twisted into painful knots and she had to take several, deep, breaths to try and tamper the sudden urge to vomit. Still, Kakashi’s arm around her shoulders guided her forward, up the couple steps to the front door. There was the sound of keys as his arm left her shoulder, hand extending in slow motion to slide his key into the lock. A key she would trade for the engagement ring stuffed in the bottom of her backpack. He stepped ahead of her as the door creaked open, walking into the home and sliding his shoes off past the threshold. When Atsuko didn’t move from her position, he turned to look at her.

“Are you coming inside?”

He asked, but he didn’t sound like himself. Normally, that question would have almost a teasing lilt. Now, it sounded like a prelude. Such obvious foreshadowing she would have scoffed if she’d read it in a novel. If she entered the door now, the conversation she was dreading would happen. Stepping over the threshold and shutting the door behind her would be the pivotal moment. It would set the inevitable denouement in motion.

Kakashi seemed to understand this as well, standing in the small foyer, the darkness of the empty home to his back. They made unrestrained eye contact and Atsuko silently cursed the bond that had brought them together. That indescribable connection that braided the threads of their lives into a single strand. Because it was that kismet that didn’t allow her to hide anything from him in this moment. It was pointless to try and police her body language or facial expressions at this point. Ultimately, the conversation that was coming was pointless as well - because they could both _feel_ it.

Like ripping off a band-aid, Atsuko stepped through the doorway, breaking the eye contact to look down at her sandals as she toed them off next to his much larger ones. Kakashi let out a noise of confirmation and moved away from the foyer, heading for the kitchen. When Atsuko pulled her head up and shut the door, all of the sound from the streets outside died away, leaving them in the deadly quiet house. She stood for a moment, listening as Kakashi shuffled around the kitchen, setting his keys on the table before she followed him inside.

Just like she’d thought, her breathing hitched at the sight of her empty living room. All of the lights in the house were off and the energy was so utterly still she wondered if Kakashi had even been sleeping here while she was gone. When her eyes landed on Kakashi, he was standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter next to the stove, his arm crossed over his chest as he regarded her. She took a tentative step in his direction, wanting nothing more than to get this over with.

“You look terrible. Why don’t you go shower and I’ll make us something to eat.”

The sentence was more of a command than a suggestion. Atsuko dropped her head forward, a sigh escaping her lips. He couldn’t just pretend like none of this had ever happened. Like they didn’t need to have a serious discussion. He turned his back to her and turned on the soft light in the kitchen, moving to the fridge immediately and digging through the contents. He pulled out all of the ingredients he needed, setting them on the counter top and then situating a skillet and pot with water on two of the burners on the stove.

“Kakashi, I-“

Atsuko started, but his hands stilled their movements and he cut her off for the second time that day.

“Go shower. Let’s just have one last meal together, alright?”

Kakashi’s voice was empty. Devoid of emotion and harsh. The words were desperate, but none of that came through in his tone. Atsuko’s eyes widened for a brief moment, but the shock left her quickly. Of course he knew what she was thinking. He always did. So, numbly, she nodded and trudged through the empty home. When she reached her bedroom, she noticed that the bed was neatly made and there was a small pile of Kakashi’s dirty clothes in the hamper, a clear sign that he had been sleeping in their bed. Waiting for her to come home. Smelling her shampoo on the pillows and missing her. Her heart sputtered and she forced herself to dig through her wardrobe for sleeping clothes.

She moved in a haze, seeing ghosts of their relationship scattered all across the home. The bed they’d spent so much time in. Lazy mornings and passionate evenings. Kakashi appearing in her window to pick her up for their first date. Sitting on the roof with him and sharing kisses that left her light-headed. In the bathroom, she could almost hear him humming as she turned the shower on. A low sound that fell out of key every so often, but still managing to be one of the most beautiful noises she’d ever heard. The clumsy shower-sex, full of giggles and gasps. She thought back on the times they’d coached each other through illness in this room. Kakashi after drinking too much. Atsuko having a panic attack. That time they’d both gotten the stomach flu at the same time. They’d spent the day locked in the bathroom, fighting over the toilet. It had been awful, both of them agreeing to never speak of it again. But looking back, it brought the lightest smile to her face as she rinsed her hair. Then, one of the bite marks on her neck stung under the spray of the water and she was forced back to the present.

It felt like preparing for a funeral. Sasuke was gone and Kakashi was on his way out. A bitter thought rang through her head as she dried off her body. _They left, just like everyone else had._ But she knew that wasn’t fair. She knew Sasuke had to leave. It wasn’t about her and if she was ready to give her life so he could be happy someday, the very least she could do was deal with the loneliness his absence caused. And Kakashi leaving was her own fault.

As she exited the bathroom, the smell of chicken and rice filled her nostrils, her eyes stinging with tears against her will. If she shut her eyes and stayed perfectly still, she could almost forget everything that had happened. Pretend that Kakashi was just making dinner for the three of them and that Sasuke would come running in the front door any minute. But, even the delusions were half-assed. It was too difficult to ignore the crushing weight of the present.

Reluctantly, she trudged towards the kitchen, taking a moment to stare at Kakashi’s back as he moved around the room. His jonin vest forgotten on the coat rack, she watched the muscles of his back roll and shift under his black shirt.

“Sit.”

He instructed without even looking up at her. She complied easily, moving to the kitchen table and sitting in the far chair so she could continue to watch as he pulled plates from one of the high cabinets.

“Sorry it’s not anything special. Just rice and chicken.”

Kakashi advised, clearly trying to find some normalcy. Atsuko smiled softly, just admiring the way he moved for a moment.

“If you made it, I’m sure it’s perfect."

She responded, humming slightly at the end of her sentence. He let out a scoff at that and she couldn’t determine if it was meant to be light-hearted or angry. Still, he prepared two plates and moved to place them on the table. He placed his own in the seat directly across from her and then walked around to place Atsuko’s plate in front of her. Her hand moved before she could stop it, reaching out to grip the bottom of his shirt before he could go back to his side of the table. She stared down at her lap, unsure of what exactly it was she was trying to accomplish. Kakashi sucked in a deep breath, then released it from his nose before he reached down to peel her fingers from his clothes. Atsuko’s heart stung immediately at the gesture, thinking he just desperately wanted her to release her hold on him. Instead, however, he gripped her hand in his own, giving a reassuring squeeze before releasing her and moving to take his seat.

He immediately began to eat upon sitting down, but Atsuko was finding it hard to stomach the sight of the food. Nerves and sorrow gnawing at her stomach lining as she stared down at the plate. This entire charade was insane, she thought. They both knew what was coming. The tension in the room was so thick she was practically suffocating on it. And he wanted to share one last meal?

“Kakashi-“

She started with a sigh, but he cut her off again.

“You’ve lost quite a bit of weight… you really should eat. Take care of yourself better.”

He scolded and she shook her head in reply, speaking up again immediately.

“Kakashi, I can’t do this.”

She blurted, and the hand that was bringing another bite of food to his mouth stilled. Slowly, he lowered the utensil back to the plate, but he didn’t turn his eyes up to look at her. Once she’d started, she couldn’t stop the words that tumbled forth.

“I’m sorry, but you know what’s happening here. What’s coming. So why are we pretending like everything is fine? Like I didn’t ruin everything.”

Atsuko continued, dropping her head to stare down at her lap again, eyebrows furrowing.

“I’m not saying that to get any kind of pity, because it is all my fault. I just… fuck, I don’t even know anymore!”

She exclaimed, the tears coming up quickly as she placed her head in her hands. She tried her hardest to stop them. Crying would only make this more difficult. It’s not like it mattered much now anyway. There were several beats of silence, the quiet only broken by her soft sniffles. After a full minute passed, Kakashi spoke up.

“It’s not all your fault. I know you wouldn’t have… you wouldn’t have done something like that had it not been for our issues beforehand.”

He stated, voice just above a whisper. He didn’t want to talk about it because that made it real. Atsuko turned her teary eyes up to look at him, shaking her head immediately.

“No, ‘Kashi… I was mad about Sasuke… but what I did is not your fault.”

She replied, desperation in her voice. She needed him to place all of the blame on her. If he didn’t-

“You mean you don’t still blame me? Atsuko, I’m not an idiot. I know you want me to be angry at you. So you can have an excuse to kick me out. So you don’t have to take responsibility for making the final decision. But I’m not angry.”

Kakashi started, interrupting her thoughts and making her eyes grow wider as his words sank in. She knew sleeping with Hidan was a mistake. A stupid, self-sabotaging, mistake. But she didn’t think he would see that so easily. All those years of introspective talks and picking apart motivations had apparently taught him something about her. Because of course it had.

“You did what you did, thinking it would push me into leaving you. That way you don’t have to come to terms with the fact that me leaving is what you really wanted all along. But I’m not going anywhere until I hear you say it.”

He finished, leaning back in his chair, his eyes half open and mouth pressed into a firm line. Atsuko’s head was spinning. It wasn’t like she hadn’t come to this realization herself. She had. But hearing him say it like it was the most obvious thing in the world threw her for a loop. She did want him gone. The anger at him that she’d allowed to fester during her time away from home. The unexplained bile that would rise in her throat every time she saw him. The obsessive thoughts about how Sasuke leaving was HIS fault, even when she logically knew it would have happened anyway. The realization hit her like a truck.

She wanted him gone because Sasuke was gone. She wanted to push him away before he had a chance to leave on his own. They all left in the end. Her dad. Her mom. Itachi. Sasuke. It wouldn’t be long before he had enough of her as well. Mentally ill and overly emotional. He’d grow tired of picking up her broken pieces one day and she would be left alone. At least this way, she’d made the final move. But here he was, refusing to leave unless she actively told him too. A flash of anger surged through, quick and indescribable in origin. Why couldn’t he just leave?

“I have no idea what you’re talking about right now. Maybe you’re projecting.”

Atsuko replied before her mind had the chance to think of something better to say. She choked down the urge to tell him he was right. To beg his forgiveness and ask him to please, _please,_ stay.

“No, I’m not. If I wanted to leave you, I would. But it’s the last thing I want, Atsuko. You think I take this lightly? I want to spend the rest of my _life_ with you. Even now. Even after you slept with someone else. Even while you’re actively trying to push me away. I know what I’m talking about because I’ve been there. Everyone else leaves, right? Why wouldn’t I be any different. That’s what you're thinking right now. Well, I am telling you that I’m not going anywhere. Ever. Unless I’m totally wrong and you really just want me gone. Then I’ll go. But you have to _say_ it.”

Kakashi answered, and again Atsuko felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. He was making this so difficult and everything was infinitely confusing. Of course she didn’t want him gone, but the idea of waking up in bed next to him every day after what she’d done made her sick. She wanted to make it work, but something deep inside her screamed for him to leave. To leave her alone so she could go back to something she understood. She didn’t know how to navigate this situation but she knew loneliness like the back of her hand. There would be no one to explain to and she wouldn’t have to sort through all of the insanity that was boiling inside her. If he’d just reacted like a normal person, this could have all been over so much sooner.

They could have screamed and hurled hurtful words at one another. She wished he didn’t see her this deeply. Their connection had been sweet in the beginning. But she’d never had anything to hide from him then. Now that she was hiding something even she didn’t understand, it was fucking terrifying. Suffocating.

“I want you to leave.”

Atsuko heard her own voice say it, but her eyes widened in shock as the words left her mouth. Her vocal cords had forced her racing mind to take a backseat and she’d spat the words out before she’d even had a chance to consider them.

Kakashi’s face fell immediately. Going from calm and collected to absolutely devastated in an instant. His visible eye opened wide, shoulders going completely rigid as her words washed over him. Clearly, he’d thought he was going to win this one. No, not win, Atsuko reminded herself. No one was winning in this situation, even if she had admitted he was right and he’d stayed. Goosebumps rose over her skin as they just stared at one another in complete disbelief.

Her eyes filled to the brim with tears before they spilled over her cheeks, fat drops rolling over her skin. She couldn’t hold the eye contact anymore. It destroyed her to see that look on his face. She dropped her head, the tears speckling dark spots across her pants as she continued to cry. He was still staring at her, she could feel his eyes boring into her.

“Atsuko-“

She cut him off immediately, just like he’d done to her so many times today.

“I want you to leave, Kakashi! Now. Go stay with Gai. I don’t care. I just want you out. I can’t even… I still can’t stand to look at you.”

Atsuko all but shouted, her eyes scrunching shut in agony as she bit the words out. She just wanted him to leave. She couldn’t explain what had snapped, but her heart was hammering in her chest and she was shattering at the seams. Suddenly, the sound of a chair scrapping against the hardwood filled the room, slow and deliberate. Footsteps. She could feel him approaching her before he crouched and gripped her wrists tightly.

“Atsuko. Look at me.”

Kakashi whispered, and she shook her head defiantly, jaw clenching. He held her like that for a few seconds as she cried, refusing to open her eyes and look at him for a second longer.

“Please just leave, Kakashi. I can’t do this anymore. Please just leave…”

She whimpered, growing more and more defeated by the second. Then, he was pressing a kiss to her forehead, one of the hands gripping her wrists coming up to hold the back of her head. The action caused a sob to rip from her throat and when he pulled away she had to physically resist the urge to follow him.

“If that’s really what you want, I will. Take some time to figure everything out. When you decide to quit fighting it, I’ll be waiting.”

Kakashi stated, releasing his grip on her entirely. She felt him stand there for a few more moments before letting out a gentle sigh and retreating to the bedroom. When he was out of the room, Atsuko let out a ragged gasp, curling in on herself and biting down on her bottom lip until she tasted blood as more choked sobs wracked her body. She couldn’t think. Couldn’t untangle the complicated web she’d weaved over the course of her life. All she could do was cradle her head in her forearms as they rested against the table and listen as Kakashi opened drawers in their bedroom.

The sound of Kakashi packing and her own whimpers filled the quiet house until footsteps headed back her way. He was in the kitchen again, standing near the front door as he stared at her. Waiting for her to change her mind. After it was clear that wasn’t going to happen, he let out a gentle sigh.

“I’m gonna go stay with Gai. I’ll come by in a couple days to get the rest of my things if that’s still what you want…”

Kakashi said, but the words fell on deaf ears. Atsuko was too wrapped up in her misery to respond or even acknowledge what he said. Though she took a little solace in hearing that he would actually be staying with Gai. He was a good friend and could help Kakashi through this transition. Then, he said something that made her heart stop.

“I just… in case this is really it… just know that I love you. I’m upset now, of course. But I’ll always love you, Atsuko.”

He finished, and her entire body tensed up in response. The tears stopped immediately as she held her breath. In that moment, her entire chest felt completely empty. Like someone had reached inside of her body and scooped it out. Still, her mouth moved on autopilot.

“I… I love you too.”

She managed, her voice ragged and quiet. It was a rule her mother had instilled in her from a young age.

_‘Let the people around you know you love them as often as you can. You never know when it’ll be the last time you can say it.’_

There was another soft sigh from Kakashi before she heard the front door creak open in slow motion. Like he was still waiting for her to ask him to stay. When she didn’t say anything to stop him, she heard him move over the threshold and then softly shut the door behind him.

For the first time in 5 years, the house was totally empty. Completely devoid of any noises or lingering presences. It was dark and so silent Atsuko could barely stand the sound of her own, shuddering, breaths. Echoing off the walls, reminding her that she was just as barren and cold as her home. This, she thought, was a fitting end to all of the wordless love she’d enjoyed.

Unspeakable loss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright boys! That's all she wrote (for now lmao). But seriously, I know this one is way shorter than the others but I didn't feel right continuing and ending this on a more hopeful note. I struggled a lot with how I thought Kakashi would handle this but I'm pretty confident in my characterization. IMO, if Kakashi has opened up and decided to spend the rest of his life with someone, he isn't going to be pushed away easily. It would take A LOT to genuinely make him angry or consider leaving. And Atsuko's constant psycho analyzing came back to bite her in the ass in a big way.
> 
> ANYWAY, now we move to Shippuden. So, I will be starting a new work. Under the name
> 
> 'Out of the Shadows, Into the Sun' 
> 
> so go ahead and check that out and bookmark it for next Friday's chapter. 
> 
> I will be going back to the Friday upload schedule now that the holidays are out of the way as well.


End file.
